FabSwingers.com forum: Outed

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Sorry to ask, but I am seeking a little advice.

My use of this site has always been a secret. I dont like people knowing a lot about my life, let alone this.

The public photos on my profile have never revealed any unique markings. At most, I have showed the lower half of my face so just my lips chin etc. Everything else has been a body shot.

I have recently (last 24 hours) found out a long term 'friend' has joined the site, recognised me and outed me to others. I think purely to gossip. One person got it, who then sent it onto their friends and so on. I don't know exact numbers.

I am single but the idea of a large number of people who I may know well, or only know a little, being aware I am on here and seeing me naked has caused me a lot of upset. I dont want to see anyone right now as I dont know who knows what.

My main concern is that I have a young daughter and the relationship with my ex partner has been difficult. I am not sure what she would say if made aware.

What do you do in this situation? My priority is containing it. Do I leave the site, say nothing and wait for the next gossip subject to take over? Do I tell the person involved its upset me and ask them to stop it or do I just take a no tolerance approach and threaten them with ramifications?

I don't mean physical violence but the individual concerned really hasn't thought this through in terms of their own situation

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By *mber DextrousWoman
over a year ago

Devon

I'm not sure what the best advice is but just in case you aren't aware the forums are public, don't need to be a member to view them so if people know the profile name they might find this thread even if the profile is hidden.

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By *iReyWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire East

Having been through this myself ( a 'single' males girlfriend, well he said he was single, found out, took screenshots of my profile and explicit pictures then sent them to my family) all I can advice is to wait for this to blow over. Maybe make all your pictures private for now should. If you know who it is who started this may be tell them how violated and embarrassed it's made you feel. People like to gossip and soon enough the next thing to gossip about will come along and you won't be the focus any more

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth

In outing you, they've outed themselves too.

If you genuinely don't want to style it out as yes and how is that your business, which I can understand from your situation with your daughter, I'd make private any pics that could be potentially identifiable and state categorically that you've no idea what they're on about. If it saves you trouble on a personal level I see no issue with that.

As to the person who spilled - if you genuinely think they had an unthinking or indiscreet moment, then maybe talk to them - I'd do it in person rather than writing if you're going to deny all knowledge though to others. If it was thoughtless rather than malicious, perhaps they could say it was an error and not you after all?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

About 4 years ago this happened to me and some recognised by my tattoo, it was a one off. They then showed my partner at the time my profile and members of his family.

Couldn’t deny it was me because of one stupid tattoo!

I now rub out tattoos on my pics to stop this happening and never reveal my face fully on my profile.

If you’ve split with your ex then you’ve done nothing wrong or to be ashamed of.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Deny, deny, deny.

Then wait 6 months and blow the fucker out of the water with what you know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think there is also a filter on here so you can't be found on search engines.

Not sure if effective though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry to ask, but I am seeking a little advice.

My use of this site has always been a secret. I dont like people knowing a lot about my life, let alone this.

The public photos on my profile have never revealed any unique markings. At most, I have showed the lower half of my face so just my lips chin etc. Everything else has been a body shot.

My main concern is that I have a young daughter and the relationship with my ex partner has been difficult. I am not sure what she would say if made aware.

I don't mean physical violence but the individual concerned really hasn't thought this through in terms of their own situation "

It could be worse you could dress like a woman. I think once the cat is out it is too late to get her back in. Why was this person on a swinger's site anyway? What makes them so perfect that they need to fuck your life up? Get screenshots of their profile before they delete it, you might need them as ammo.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm not sure what the best advice is but just in case you aren't aware the forums are public, don't need to be a member to view them so if people know the profile name they might find this thread even if the profile is hidden."

thanks but I know the individual very well and he isnt the brightest spark so the forums are beyond him

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 19/09/18 16:02:13]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"In outing you, they've outed themselves too.

they have, you are right. And I used to think that rule prevent this thing happening but this particular individual has little pride.

Whats really odd is he has recently split with his wife due to her choice and he wants her back, so why do this? its rather stupid.

They knew exactly what they were doing but I may still try and play on their heartstrings.

Tbh I think it is too late to deny now. my best friend has been sent it and he can tell. He himself is very angry for me

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth

"In outing you, they've outed themselves too.

they have, you are right. And I used to think that rule prevent this thing happening but this particular individual has little pride.

Whats really odd is he has recently split with his wife due to her choice and he wants her back, so why do this? its rather stupid.

They knew exactly what they were doing but I may still try and play on their heartstrings.

Tbh I think it is too late to deny now. my best friend has been sent it and he can tell. He himself is very angry for me"

I’d deny where you can/want. Your friends sounds something of a flake. If a close friend is supportive you coukd always confide and ask for further support in passing out disinformation - ‘oh that, that was X being an idiot as usual and getting it wrong.’

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

Your single ... why worry ... he has a lot more to lose than you

Have you asked him if his wife knows he is on here ...

If you want just block him or delete your profile and set up another ..

Hes being very childish and needs to grow up .

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By *ensualkinkMan
over a year ago

hotel or at yours

"Deny, deny, deny.

Then wait 6 months and blow the fucker out of the water with what you know."

This. Ultimately as others have said, you have done nothing wrong. Hiding the profile is probably a good thing to do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry to ask, but I am seeking a little advice.

My use of this site has always been a secret. I dont like people knowing a lot about my life, let alone this.

The public photos on my profile have never revealed any unique markings. At most, I have showed the lower half of my face so just my lips chin etc. Everything else has been a body shot.

My main concern is that I have a young daughter and the relationship with my ex partner has been difficult. I am not sure what she would say if made aware.

I don't mean physical violence but the individual concerned really hasn't thought this through in terms of their own situation "

This is easy.

Hide all pictures and just deny it under whatever pressure you get put. Just flat out deny it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry to ask, but I am seeking a little advice.

My use of this site has always been a secret. I dont like people knowing a lot about my life, let alone this.

The public photos on my profile have never revealed any unique markings. At most, I have showed the lower half of my face so just my lips chin etc. Everything else has been a body shot.

My main concern is that I have a young daughter and the relationship with my ex partner has been difficult. I am not sure what she would say if made aware.

I don't mean physical violence but the individual concerned really hasn't thought this through in terms of their own situation "
just leave you're not obviously cut out for this life anyways at some point you have to show pics and meet people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your single ... why worry ... he has a lot more to lose than you

Have you asked him if his wife knows he is on here ...

If you want just block him or delete your profile and set up another ..

Hes being very childish and needs to grow up ."

I am so very sorry to hear that this has caused you such distress. What a wanker! Indeed, he seems to have much more to lose than you, and please remember that even though your privacy has been brutally violated, you have nothing to be ashamed of. I understand that you don't want others to know about this, so yes, keep your profile hidden and deny all knowledge if you really want to keep this to yourself. Your genuine friends won't judge you if you decide to share this aspect of your life with them. I wish I could give you a definitive solution, in the meantime I wish you all the very best. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Please report them to admin they have no right to out anyone and don't belong on the site. They should have respect. What gets me is there on the site probably for the same reason's as yourself. Therefore why has no asked how they know all this without being on the site in the first place how would they feel if you outed them.

It's about having respect for each other on here and showing discretion we're all consenting grown ups.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sorry to ask, but I am seeking a little advice.

My use of this site has always been a secret. I dont like people knowing a lot about my life, let alone this.

The public photos on my profile have never revealed any unique markings. At most, I have showed the lower half of my face so just my lips chin etc. Everything else has been a body shot.

My main concern is that I have a young daughter and the relationship with my ex partner has been difficult. I am not sure what she would say if made aware.

I don't mean physical violence but the individual concerned really hasn't thought this through in terms of their own situation just leave you're not obviously cut out for this life anyways at some point you have to show pics and meet people "

Ive met many people and ordinarily have a profile full of photos which most people would not know were me. Unless they knew me really well, as this person does

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Your single ... why worry ... he has a lot more to lose than you

Have you asked him if his wife knows he is on here ...

If you want just block him or delete your profile and set up another ..

Hes being very childish and needs to grow up .

thank you, it seems I will have to admit to certain people and deny to others

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Deny, deny, deny.

Then wait 6 months and blow the fucker out of the water with what you know."

This

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By *he Devils Daughter!Woman
over a year ago

some where in yorkshire

"Your single ... why worry ... he has a lot more to lose than you

Have you asked him if his wife knows he is on here ...

If you want just block him or delete your profile and set up another ..

Hes being very childish and needs to grow up ."

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry to ask, but I am seeking a little advice.

My use of this site has always been a secret. I dont like people knowing a lot about my life, let alone this.

The public photos on my profile have never revealed any unique markings. At most, I have showed the lower half of my face so just my lips chin etc. Everything else has been a body shot.

My main concern is that I have a young daughter and the relationship with my ex partner has been difficult. I am not sure what she would say if made aware.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It happened to me by a friend and I denied it, stayed on site and carried on as normal.

The twat sent me a text saying he had seen my face on here but I knew he was guessing, he had been told by someone else I was on here.

I copied and pasted his text and posted it on his Facebook page, I made a joke of it and said nice try but you still haven’t got me back and I hope this site was a joke and I haven’t outed you.

He rang me in bits and apologised.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your single ... why worry ... he has a lot more to lose than you

Have you asked him if his wife knows he is on here ...

If you want just block him or delete your profile and set up another ..

Hes being very childish and needs to grow up .

thank you, it seems I will have to admit to certain people and deny to others"

Only admit to the ones you know you can definitely trust.

I'd just deny it to everyone. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Deny, deny, deny.

Then wait 6 months and blow the fucker out of the water with what you know.

This"

I would agree too you are not doing anything wrong on here its not illegal. But saying that revenge should be sweet and payback a bitch.

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

Hide your profile for a while so no one can compare the pics to you.

Someone on Fab has seen you on Fab and is gossiping about it? Hypocritical cunt.

If anyone confronts you deny and ask them what makes them think you're a member?

Or say yes I am, what the fucks it got to do with you?

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By *meraldShoesWoman
over a year ago

bridgnorth

"Hide your profile for a while so no one can compare the pics to you.

Someone on Fab has seen you on Fab and is gossiping about it? Hypocritical cunt.

If anyone confronts you deny and ask them what makes them think you're a member?

Or say yes I am, what the fucks it got to do with you?"

This too!!

The Shires like that; he’ll soon be distracted by something like snow...

Then go wreck a bit of revenge!!!

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By *rith47Man
over a year ago

Erith

How nasty and rude of anyone to do such a thing. Respect for people's private life has obviously escaped him. Maybe he was jealous of your lovely big cock. Or more likely that you are having lots of fun and the 'friend' has little. All this means is anyone whom he has told will not trust him. They should see him as a small-minded tosser. I will always maintain, those whom spend their time discussing only the lives of others have a pretty banal existence.

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By *rustratedmissWoman
over a year ago

York

"Sorry to ask, but I am seeking a little advice.

My use of this site has always been a secret. I dont like people knowing a lot about my life, let alone this.

The public photos on my profile have never revealed any unique markings. At most, I have showed the lower half of my face so just my lips chin etc. Everything else has been a body shot.

My main concern is that I have a young daughter and the relationship with my ex partner has been difficult. I am not sure what she would say if made aware.

I do show pics and have met some lovely people but I keep this part of my life private from family and friends. Unfortunately, the taboo around sexually liberated females persists and I do not wish to be judged or defined by the choices I have made. I too would be gutted and angry if someone "outed" me

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By *iercedItMan
over a year ago

Mcr

[Removed by poster at 20/09/18 02:44:22]

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By *iercedItMan
over a year ago

Mcr

My first account on fab, I was outed on my Facebook business page, by someone I used to work with (sad act) who was on here "for a laugh and a bit of fun", this person went so far as to phone my mother.

Luckily I have never hidden my past in porn, or the work I do from any clients so fab is a small leap, and my mother pretty much laughed. So it had little to no impact on current (at the time) clients but may have been costly for potential and my rep, who knows.

I just rode it out and took the queen's stance never defend and never deny, and questioned why they was here if it's so wrong, it died out quite quickly. it has made me very much more cautious of what pics I put public.

However my tongue piercing is very unique, so almost anyone who knows me, will recognise it, but passing assholes won't. I've had a few messages from people who have recognised me from it.

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By *rsTrellisWoman
over a year ago

Cambridge

The information is powerful only because it bothers you (which is understandable).

Do you feel you could pretend not to be bothered? Maybe make a joke about it?

“I am a single guy. I’m on various dating and hook up sites having very little success! I thought women would be beating down my door. Let me know if you’re aware of better sites”.

You get the idea. Just front it out in a light-hearted way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I was in your shoes I would put my photos in private and leave one unrecogniseable photo public.

Make sure in settings that my username is hidden from search engines.

If your a site supporter like I am then I would change my username too.

As for what they are doing I would look into some options either by myself or with a best friend and take it from there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry to ask, but I am seeking a little advice.

My use of this site has always been a secret. I dont like people knowing a lot about my life, let alone this.

The public photos on my profile have never revealed any unique markings. At most, I have showed the lower half of my face so just my lips chin etc. Everything else has been a body shot.

My main concern is that I have a young daughter and the relationship with my ex partner has been difficult. I am not sure what she would say if made aware.

Ive met many people and ordinarily have a profile full of photos which most people would not know were me. Unless they knew me really well, as this person does"
ok what your friend did was maybe thoughtless but if you dont want to leave which by sound of it you don't then stop worrying about it, this is life, it's your life and many other people's normal lives people have sex and with more than one partner , people cheat, people go to clubs, people get naked and people have hard ons it's the real world, real people, real places,real time stop being ashamed of it and just carry on as you were

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Make a new profile?

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

You're today's news.

You're tomorrow's chip wrapper.

My previous advice still stands.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're today's news.

You're tomorrow's chip wrapper.

My previous advice still stands."
do they still wrap chips in cyber texts

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"You're today's news.

You're tomorrow's chip wrapper.

My previous advice still stands.

do they still wrap chips in cyber texts "

They do in Oliver's.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It happened to me by a friend and I denied it, stayed on site and carried on as normal.

The twat sent me a text saying he had seen my face on here but I knew he was guessing, he had been told by someone else I was on here.

I copied and pasted his text and posted it on his Facebook page, I made a joke of it and said nice try but you still haven’t got me back and I hope this site was a joke and I haven’t outed you.

He rang me in bits and apologised."

Brilliant.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Another reason we never show faces..if you do not mind losing your varis, if you have any ..I would personally close your account and set up a new one, setting your pics to private and if you feel the need to have public pics, make them show very little of your feature. There is never any need to have cock pics on show, and most as mentioned in the forums say cocks pics are a no no as profile pics and so on.

One thing, if you do have a new profile, be aware of friend request and so on..it could be folk you know checking you out..make your location a little bit away from your true location, say a mile away putting in a nearby post code..

Or if you feel being outted is going to give you problems, then there really is only one thing you can do, leave Fab

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By *coxy69Man
over a year ago

Stone

"Having been through this myself ( a 'single' males girlfriend, well he said he was single, found out, took screenshots of my profile and explicit pictures then sent them to my family) all I can advice is to wait for this to blow over. Maybe make all your pictures private for now should. If you know who it is who started this may be tell them how violated and embarrassed it's made you feel. People like to gossip and soon enough the next thing to gossip about will come along and you won't be the focus any more "
love this advice, it’s spot on

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

"It happened to me by a friend and I denied it, stayed on site and carried on as normal.

The twat sent me a text saying he had seen my face on here but I knew he was guessing, he had been told by someone else I was on here.

I copied and pasted his text and posted it on his Facebook page, I made a joke of it and said nice try but you still haven’t got me back and I hope this site was a joke and I haven’t outed you.

He rang me in bits and apologised."

Ha ha thats so funny

Sorry this happened op

Some people are just sad and have to cause drama in others lives

Yoy have done the right thing hiding your profile and hopefully it will all blow over

Good luck xx

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By *hingy2Woman
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a single girl who os normally very private id have to call them on this . Your a single guy so surely you can do whatever you like when ever you like as ling as it doesnt affect your daughter. Recently i was messaged by a facebook friend saying they had seen my profile and i was like yeah im on fab whats it to you x

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By *uzz And WoodyCouple
over a year ago

Maidstone

Don’t stress about it and just remember this...

There are two types of people in the world, those who are swingers and those who wished they were.

Jealousy is such a lousy trait.

Keep on rockin’

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

In outing you, he's outed himself. Perhaps make that very clear to him. Take screenshots and show him then show the people he's outed you to his profile.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

And I would definitely be showing them to his wife too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry to ask, but I am seeking a little advice.

My use of this site has always been a secret. I dont like people knowing a lot about my life, let alone this.

The public photos on my profile have never revealed any unique markings. At most, I have showed the lower half of my face so just my lips chin etc. Everything else has been a body shot.

My main concern is that I have a young daughter and the relationship with my ex partner has been difficult. I am not sure what she would say if made aware.

I don't mean physical violence but the individual concerned really hasn't thought this through in terms of their own situation "

He is NOT a friend I would return the favour and out him.

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By *ringles0510Woman
over a year ago

Central Borders

Some friend

Most people are more discrete. Maybe make themselves known to you, but not tell anyone else. I only came across someone I knew once and blocked him without mentioning a thing. If you're enjoying the site, why would you leave though. This will have given you a fright I'm sure, but enough to let it ruin your fun? x

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By *urveLurverMan
over a year ago

Skyview

Put yourself in people's shoes who may have found out about this aspect of your life. What would you think if you found out someone you know is on here? Would it be along the lines of "Wow - who'd a thought!" then you just get on with your day?

That, together with a lot of sympathy, is probably what everyone thinks.

As far as I know, the only person who knows my identity on here is my partner.

If anyone else found out, I would be mortified and do not know how I would react if I was in your position today. But rest assured it will blow over and no one has died.

An up side here is you seem to be getting some rather attractive shoulders to cry on. Maybe you could thank them with a coffee and bit a cake somewhere!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One wrong doesn't make a right, retribution is the devil's work, turn the other cheek

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP, understandably an upsetting thing to have happened. My advice to you is to brazen it out if you can. Hold your head high and laugh it off if anyone says anything to you about it, even if you want the ground to open up. If people can see you’re not bothered it will be a one day wonder and be soon forgotten about. You’ve done nothing wrong. You’re single and entitled to live your life any way you see fit.

I would however be having words with the friend that outed you. Not on at all. Don’t leave the site, that only makes it look like you feel you’ve done something wrong. Maybe hide your profile for a few days and change your user name. Sod them. Enjoy your life OP. I hope you have lots of happy adventures on here!

V x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Firstly, thank you all for the advice. I now know the meaning of the community.

I called the individual concerned. He would only admit to sending it to my best friend, and not to others and its the others who have caused the problem.

I asked him why he would do it. He wouldn't answer, only to say he had sent it to our mutual friend only. Lies.

I said about my daughter. Told him he should know better since he went through a custody battle.

In the end I had to say I knew who he has sent it to. Told her this girl is nothing to me other than someone I knew years ago so why tell her?

He said he would sort it. By this I think he means speak to the girl he sent it to.

I said I am sure she would not want any issues with access to her children and given what I have been made aware of, she would have issues if things came out. But this is none of my business.

The final stupid comment was he was't on here 'in that way'. Not sure how many ways you could be on this site? I said I am sure he would not want his wife to know, despite the recent split.

I guess I will have to see what happens now. If it does cause me issues, I will not let it lie. Nor will I let it lie if I find the profile has been circulated.

again, thanks for everyone's help.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"Firstly, thank you all for the advice. I now know the meaning of the community.