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Saying No Thanks

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By *andWCouple OP   Couple
over a year ago

Luton

We're wracking our brains over how to say no to people we don't want to meet.

How do you say it politely and without causing offence?

Quite a simple question you might think ... but not to us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just block them... no need to say anything more... the conversation will only turn negative

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We're wracking our brains over how to say no to people we don't want to meet.

How do you say it politely and without causing offence?

Quite a simple question you might think ... but not to us "

Usually i said you arent for what im looking for, enjoy fab.

If they reply i just delete and put something in probate notes. Only if they get really abusive i block

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We use a simple, thanks but you're not for us.

Only a few times has anyone questioned why or got arsey, most accept with a thanks for replying.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just block them... no need to say anything more... the conversation will only turn negative "

I agree i used to reply back and say no thanks and yes i got hit with abuse so now i just block ,i dont know them so it does not bother me x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a single guy, I do appreciate a thanks, no thanks or your not for us, or even no thank you, happy fabbing!

Yes as a someone intrested in another’s profile and attracted to the photos / description etc it can be somewhat disheartening.... but I’d prefer to know rather than a block as I don’t think I’m that bad to deserve that! Bit harsh!!

But I also understand that some people apparently get rude, of which isn’t on! Those should be banned from the site!

Or better still, a warning on the profile of which others can se and be warned off, especially if you then saw them at a club!!!

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

I hate saying no especially when the message has been polite. I usually say im not planning on meeting anyone new as have enough arranged which is usually true. I dont meet many but always plan ahead. My profile also states that i would rather find myself a suitable meet but men still constantly ask.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I hate saying no especially when the message has been polite. I usually say im not planning on meeting anyone new as have enough arranged which is usually true. I dont meet many but always plan ahead. My profile also states that i would rather find myself a suitable meet but men still constantly ask."

One should not have to give a reason why...just say not for me, wish them well and good luck on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We're wracking our brains over how to say no to people we don't want to meet.

How do you say it politely and without causing offence?

Quite a simple question you might think ... but not to us "
sorry you're not our type but good luck

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By *andWCouple OP   Couple
over a year ago

Luton


"Just block them... no need to say anything more... the conversation will only turn negative "

Nope ... that's just rude and, for us, out of order.

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By *andWCouple OP   Couple
over a year ago

Luton


"As a single guy, I do appreciate a thanks, no thanks or your not for us, or even no thank you, happy fabbing!

Yes as a someone intrested in another’s profile and attracted to the photos / description etc it can be somewhat disheartening.... but I’d prefer to know rather than a block as I don’t think I’m that bad to deserve that! Bit harsh!!

But I also understand that some people apparently get rude, of which isn’t on! Those should be banned from the site!

Or better still, a warning on the profile of which others can se and be warned off, especially if you then saw them at a club!!!

"

This is how we feel ... if someone has taken the time to message us they deserve the courtesy of a reply.

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By *andWCouple OP   Couple
over a year ago

Luton


"I hate saying no especially when the message has been polite. I usually say im not planning on meeting anyone new as have enough arranged which is usually true. I dont meet many but always plan ahead. My profile also states that i would rather find myself a suitable meet but men still constantly ask."

We like this Thanks to everyone for the advice. Much appreciated xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just block them... no need to say anything more... the conversation will only turn negative

Nope ... that's just rude and, for us, out of order."
Well thank God their are still people around with a sense of etiquette

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By *andWCouple OP   Couple
over a year ago

Luton


"Just block them... no need to say anything more... the conversation will only turn negative

Nope ... that's just rude and, for us, out of order.Well thank God their are still people around with a sense of etiquette "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always prefer a polite refusal - it makes me feel like I am dealing with a fellow human being rather than being a commodity. Having said that I do also completely understand why many of the women on here don’t reply given how many messages they get but I think the instant block is offensive and unnecessary.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/09/18 10:03:25]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow ??

Am shocked that a few polite people still exist on Fab

Thanks

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By *ay19720Man
over a year ago

Ashford kent

Just say..thanks but not our flavour. ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just block them... no need to say anything more... the conversation will only turn negative

Nope ... that's just rude and, for us, out of order."

No worries..... I’ve turned down a few couples and got some abuse....

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

I just apologise and explain why I'm not interested before wishing them luck in their search.

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By *andWCouple OP   Couple
over a year ago

Luton


"Wow ??

Am shocked that a few polite people still exist on Fab

Thanks "

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By *andWCouple OP   Couple
over a year ago

Luton

Thanks everyone ... best of luck to you all xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is a hard one OP. In our experience it’s a case of damned if you do, damned if you don’t. We always make an effort to send a gentle let down. Occasionally we receive a hostile reply back, it’s an instant block in that case. However if someone clearly hasn’t read our profile then we don’t reply.

We always appreciate a reply even if it’s a no.

V x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A simple “not for us thanks” works for us, very very rarely do we get any negative comments back from this, we generally block a few hours later too x

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By *uuLuuWoman
over a year ago

Watford


"We're wracking our brains over how to say no to people we don't want to meet.

How do you say it politely and without causing offence?

Quite a simple question you might think ... but not to us "

Just say thanks but no thanks its a clear but polite message.

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds


"We're wracking our brains over how to say no to people we don't want to meet.

How do you say it politely and without causing offence?

Quite a simple question you might think ... but not to us "

Some folk no matter how you say it will take offence.. personally I send ..

thank you for the message and picture(s) I'm sure you'll find lots of fun on fab however it's not with me.

Best wishes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A polite no thank you usually works for me.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just block them... no need to say anything more... the conversation will only turn negative

Nope ... that's just rude and, for us, out of order.

No worries..... I’ve turned down a few couples and got some abuse...."

That's harsh treating everyone the same as the rude that you've had the misfortune of messaging. Very harsh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just block them... no need to say anything more... the conversation will only turn negative

Nope ... that's just rude and, for us, out of order."

Well said...

just take a look at there profile and say..Hi thanks for getting in touch..we have looked at your profile, but we feel, you are not what we are looking for meet wise..thanks

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

If they have obviously constructed a message tailored to me and it’s polite then I thank them for it but say it’s a no thanks.

If I’ve asked for a face pic, they have sent me one and I don’t want to meet I also thank them for sharing but it’s a no thanks and happy fabbing.

Self entitled arseholes get ignored and/or blocked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just reply thanks but you’re not what I’m/we are looking for, happy swinging. And then block.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A polite no thank you usually works for me.x "

This

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"We're wracking our brains over how to say no to people we don't want to meet.

How do you say it politely and without causing offence?

Quite a simple question you might think ... but not to us "

If you say no thank you in a polite way any offence caused is not by you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just block them... no need to say anything more... the conversation will only turn negative

Nope ... that's just rude and, for us, out of order."

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Fab faq section does state that no response is no interest. Its not considered rude.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just say "Sorry, no thank you x", or some variation on that theme. If they've written a nice message and have bothered to read my profile and ask nicely why not, then I'll explain without getting drawn into a lengthy conversation.

If the person has just sent some naff scattergun message and obviously hasn't bothered reading my page, then I don't feel guilty about just ignoring them.

The ones who get nasty and petulant about it are a clear minority in my experience.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We're wracking our brains over how to say no to people we don't want to meet.

How do you say it politely and without causing offence?

Quite a simple question you might think ... but not to us

If you say no thank you in a polite way any offence caused is not by you.

"

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By *randnew23sumsCouple
over a year ago

Lancashire


"We use a simple, thanks but you're not for us.

Only a few times has anyone questioned why or got arsey, most accept with a thanks for replying. "

This is what we do. If people get arsey block them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quite simply say sorry you’re not for us good luck in your search,it’s what we do,very rare to get any grief,few try and change our minds lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks but no thanks

Didn’t even need to type that, it’s in my word bar I use it so often, if they get abusive that’s when I block x

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By *okemanGoMan
over a year ago

Willenhall

The only rudeness I have experienced is from the people doing the refusals, a simple no thanks is perfectly acceptable or even no reply at all, as I understand you get so many requests, I don't ask for or expect a reason and don't ask again, although it does smart a bit when you have taken the time to read a very long profile and tried to compose a witty and original approach for it to be ignored, but I have learned to accept it and move.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We're wracking our brains over how to say no to people we don't want to meet.

How do you say it politely and without causing offence?

Quite a simple question you might think ... but not to us "

I simply reply with "Thanks for your message but no thanks. Happy swinging". Sometimes, I get a load of abuse back and occasionally I get a reply thanking me for my reply!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We're wracking our brains over how to say no to people we don't want to meet.

How do you say it politely and without causing offence?

Quite a simple question you might think ... but not to us

If you say no thank you in a polite way any offence caused is not by you.

"

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Thanks but not for me, happy fabbing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it is clear they have not read our profile, we just delete the message. If we believe they have and they are not for us, we just say not for us thanks. If they get abusive - instant block.

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By *yspicysalsaCouple
over a year ago

London

Being new to the scene we’re trying to reply to all messages with the majority getting rejections and a few we’re currently chatting too, however one of the first few guys we rejected replied back calling us paki’s.

It really put us off for a while and weren’t sure if we should continue on the site.

I just think some guys just expect to get easy sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I say no thank you or not what I'm looking for sorry.

That's all it takes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We reply to everyone. We usually say " sorry but not looking for anyone new at the moment " Which is true. We wish them all the best etc.etc.

But some people just keep coming back at you. Sometimes 3 or 4 times. We've also had seemingly nice messages from a single guy who s sent us the exact same copy/ paste message 4 times!

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet


"We're wracking our brains over how to say no to people we don't want to meet.

How do you say it politely and without causing offence?

Quite a simple question you might think ... but not to us "

I always say Nice but not for me. And leave it at that.

Think I've only had two arsey messages after that in over a year.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We reply to everyone. We usually say " sorry but not looking for anyone new at the moment " Which is true. We wish them all the best etc.etc.

But some people just keep coming back at you. Sometimes 3 or 4 times. We've also had seemingly nice messages from a single guy who s sent us the exact same copy/ paste message 4 times!"

Those ones crack me up. Is that they have zero recollection of prior messages, or are they just optimistic, or what? : )

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"We reply to everyone. We usually say " sorry but not looking for anyone new at the moment " Which is true. We wish them all the best etc.etc.

But some people just keep coming back at you. Sometimes 3 or 4 times. We've also had seemingly nice messages from a single guy who s sent us the exact same copy/ paste message 4 times!"

I had that within 24 hrs from 1 guy. Felt like groundhog day lol.

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By *eonnieCouple
over a year ago

Worsley


"Just block them... no need to say anything more... the conversation will only turn negative

Nope ... that's just rude and, for us, out of order."

Totally agree with you!

Also thank you for posting this question, we’ve wondered what’s the best way to politely say “no”

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By *vilgasamWoman
over a year ago

The dot in the i

I’ve tried replying to everyone but it became a full time job, it’s too much and I know it’s not the fault of whoever is sending me a message but if all I did was reply to everyone I wouldn’t enjoy anything else here like the forums, I know in person it would be considered rude to ignore but I would also consider it rude if in person someone’s opening line to me was a faf message, imagine being in a bar and someone walking up to you saying ‘hey, you’re hot, let’s fk’ would I be considered rude by simply walking away? Even in a sex club that scenario would be them being rude, not me, luckily a lot here do send well thought out messages and I will reply with a no thank you when that happens but then there are others who try to strike up a conversation hoping it will lead to meets when I know I won’t meet them, if I do reply in that case I get abuse and end up blocking so yes, sometimes I will read and not reply simply because I get this daily and to be honest, as selfish as it sounds, I’m not here to placate others, I’m here for myself, I’ve gotten to a point that I see pm’s here as mail through a letter box, I don’t reply to everything, only some that are of interest to me, would you reply to every pizza restaurant wanting you to order their food even if you don’t want a pizza? That’s not rude, that’s standard, you don’t run after the guy in the street who just posted the flyer and say thanks but I don’t like the pizzas you serve, that would be weird right?

I can see why people want a reply but the reality is it’s not always possible and sometimes better to simply accept you’re not everyone’s cup of tea

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"I’ve tried replying to everyone but it became a full time job, it’s too much and I know it’s not the fault of whoever is sending me a message but if all I did was reply to everyone I wouldn’t enjoy anything else here like the forums, I know in person it would be considered rude to ignore but I would also consider it rude if in person someone’s opening line to me was a faf message, imagine being in a bar and someone walking up to you saying ‘hey, you’re hot, let’s fk’ would I be considered rude by simply walking away? Even in a sex club that scenario would be them being rude, not me, luckily a lot here do send well thought out messages and I will reply with a no thank you when that happens but then there are others who try to strike up a conversation hoping it will lead to meets when I know I won’t meet them, if I do reply in that case I get abuse and end up blocking so yes, sometimes I will read and not reply simply because I get this daily and to be honest, as selfish as it sounds, I’m not here to placate others, I’m here for myself, I’ve gotten to a point that I see pm’s here as mail through a letter box, I don’t reply to everything, only some that are of interest to me, would you reply to every pizza restaurant wanting you to order their food even if you don’t want a pizza? That’s not rude, that’s standard, you don’t run after the guy in the street who just posted the flyer and say thanks but I don’t like the pizzas you serve, that would be weird right?

I can see why people want a reply but the reality is it’s not always possible and sometimes better to simply accept you’re not everyone’s cup of tea

"

Very well put xx

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

When I first joined, I did reply to every single message with a polite, thanks but no thanks, even explained why not, again politely.

I was raised to be polite & courteous to treat others as you'd like to be treated, but soon found it was more hard work than it was worth.

A lot just read & deleted my message, and thst was the end of it.

But I recieved abuse, name calling, even threats from some.

Others chose to try convince me to change my mind, giving reasons why I was wrong, telling me what I was missing out on.

I soon developed a 'lack of conscience' in replying.

Now, if soneone sends me what is obviously a well thought out, personal message I will send a polite reply but those kind of messages are rare.

The rest get marked unread, left a few days then deleted.

I've also learnt how to spot the ones I know will send a follow up (usually ranty) message when I do this, so I block them at the same time.

I appreciate that it can be hard for some single guys on here, seems like all they get is ignored messages, but if I spent my time dealing with them I'd have no time to actually do anything else.

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By *andWCouple OP   Couple
over a year ago

Luton


"Just block them... no need to say anything more... the conversation will only turn negative

Nope ... that's just rude and, for us, out of order.

Well said...

just take a look at there profile and say..Hi thanks for getting in touch..we have looked at your profile, but we feel, you are not what we are looking for meet wise..thanks "

This is good!

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

Thanks for the interest, but you are not what I'm looking for at the moment.

I type it so often, my predictive text picks it up after the first word.

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By *endy HallTV/TS
over a year ago

Salisbury

You could block but that is a bit harsh for the other person, especially if they are polite. I only reserve blocking for arseholes and ignoramuses. Just ignore.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just say "Thanks, but you're not for us". Anyone who can't accept that with maturity isn't worth worrying about and can be blocked with a clear conscience.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks for the interest, but you are not what I'm looking for at the moment.

I type it so often, my predictive text picks it up after the first word."
I like that. It’s nice but fair. I’ve had a few replies that are just plain rude. No need for it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We say: "Thank you for your message but we're not a match. Best of luck with your search."

We used to say "you're not what we're looking for" but then often would get a message back asking what are we looking for?

So that has stopped now.

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By *andWCouple OP   Couple
over a year ago

Luton


"Thanks for the interest, but you are not what I'm looking for at the moment.

I type it so often, my predictive text picks it up after the first word."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We use a simple, thanks but you're not for us.

Only a few times has anyone questioned why or got arsey, most accept with a thanks for replying. "

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"When I first joined, I did reply to every single message with a polite, thanks but no thanks, even explained why not, again politely.

I was raised to be polite & courteous to treat others as you'd like to be treated, but soon found it was more hard work than it was worth.

A lot just read & deleted my message, and thst was the end of it.

But I recieved abuse, name calling, even threats from some.

Others chose to try convince me to change my mind, giving reasons why I was wrong, telling me what I was missing out on.

I soon developed a 'lack of conscience' in replying.

Now, if soneone sends me what is obviously a well thought out, personal message I will send a polite reply but those kind of messages are rare.

The rest get marked unread, left a few days then deleted.

I've also learnt how to spot the ones I know will send a follow up (usually ranty) message when I do this, so I block them at the same time.

I appreciate that it can be hard for some single guys on here, seems like all they get is ignored messages, but if I spent my time dealing with them I'd have no time to actually do anything else. "

To add to this, if they've been rude enough to ignore a profile before messaging why should we have to be polite and message back to say no thanks?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When I first joined, I did reply to every single message with a polite, thanks but no thanks, even explained why not, again politely.

I was raised to be polite & courteous to treat others as you'd like to be treated, but soon found it was more hard work than it was worth.

A lot just read & deleted my message, and thst was the end of it.

But I recieved abuse, name calling, even threats from some.

Others chose to try convince me to change my mind, giving reasons why I was wrong, telling me what I was missing out on.

I soon developed a 'lack of conscience' in replying.

Now, if soneone sends me what is obviously a well thought out, personal message I will send a polite reply but those kind of messages are rare.

The rest get marked unread, left a few days then deleted.

I've also learnt how to spot the ones I know will send a follow up (usually ranty) message when I do this, so I block them at the same time.

I appreciate that it can be hard for some single guys on here, seems like all they get is ignored messages, but if I spent my time dealing with them I'd have no time to actually do anything else.

To add to this, if they've been rude enough to ignore a profile before messaging why should we have to be polite and message back to say no thanks? "
because one wrong doesn't beget another

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I say "thank you for your message but I'm afraid you're not what I'm looking for. Take care and happy swinging"

I get mixed responses varying from "thank you" through to "you're a fat ugly bitch anyway that no one wants to fuck"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don’t bother anymore. We just block. Saves the hassle if someone is abusive. Shame really.

L x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When I first joined, I did reply to every single message with a polite, thanks but no thanks, even explained why not, again politely.

I was raised to be polite & courteous to treat others as you'd like to be treated, but soon found it was more hard work than it was worth.

A lot just read & deleted my message, and thst was the end of it.

But I recieved abuse, name calling, even threats from some.

Others chose to try convince me to change my mind, giving reasons why I was wrong, telling me what I was missing out on.

I soon developed a 'lack of conscience' in replying.

Now, if soneone sends me what is obviously a well thought out, personal message I will send a polite reply but those kind of messages are rare.

The rest get marked unread, left a few days then deleted.

I've also learnt how to spot the ones I know will send a follow up (usually ranty) message when I do this, so I block them at the same time.

I appreciate that it can be hard for some single guys on here, seems like all they get is ignored messages, but if I spent my time dealing with them I'd have no time to actually do anything else.

To add to this, if they've been rude enough to ignore a profile before messaging why should we have to be polite and message back to say no thanks? because one wrong doesn't beget another "

What is wrong with not replying? Do you reply to every piece of junk mail that comes through your door? Ever unsolicited email every cold caller who calls you because my money isn't you don't like everyone dosn't . Not replying isn't rude or a wrong ask admin.

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By *heHookyMonsterMan
over a year ago

Coventry


"I always prefer a polite refusal - it makes me feel like I am dealing with a fellow human being rather than being a commodity. Having said that I do also completely understand why many of the women on here don’t reply given how many messages they get but I think the instant block is offensive and unnecessary. "

100% with this!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just say thanks but no thanks; if they get arsey then block them

I prefer that to no message at all

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By *heHookyMonsterMan
over a year ago

Coventry


"Just block them... no need to say anything more... the conversation will only turn negative

Nope ... that's just rude and, for us, out of order.

Well said...

just take a look at there profile and say..Hi thanks for getting in touch..we have looked at your profile, but we feel, you are not what we are looking for meet wise..thanks "

That would be the perfect way of putting it for me. How could anyone feel upset after being let down in such a positive and well thought out way. Brill!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm happy with "Thanks, but no thanks". Concise and to the point... any more and you're possibly opening a conversation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi, thanks for the message, sorry but you're not my type. Happy fabbing though xx

That's my go to. I may also insert a name if I like the message but they're not my type physically x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I personally prefer no reply at all.

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By *onnyJohnMan
over a year ago

Doncaster


"We're wracking our brains over how to say no to people we don't want to meet.

How do you say it politely and without causing offence?

Quite a simple question you might think ... but not to us "

I just say "you're not what I'm looking for, best of luck and stay safe, good bye"

However it is actually not very often I have to say that, but it has been said.

I have had it said to me, to which I always respond with "thank you for taking the time to reply, take care and best of luck"

So far I have only once ever received any abuse and I have certainly never ever given any out.. to do so is pointless and counterproductive, not to mention bad manners.

As regards blocking, I can understand why people do it, it is a useful function, however I can't help but think that sometimes it enflames the problem too, a person who is likely to hurl abuse is likely to become more abusive the more they are blocked, that being said it is still a simple and effective way to stop the abuse.

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By *ndrew CareyMan
over a year ago

Peterborough, Cambridgeshire & Lincolnshire


"We're wracking our brains over how to say no to people we don't want to meet.

How do you say it politely and without causing offence?

Quite a simple question you might think ... but not to us "

A polite no should do the trick. If they react negatively to it, you thank yourself for being discerning.

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By *irestorm 500Couple
over a year ago

coventry


"We're wracking our brains over how to say no to people we don't want to meet.

How do you say it politely and without causing offence?

Quite a simple question you might think ... but not to us sorry you're not our type but good luck "

like wise x storm x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just be honest and say thanks but no thanks then just block them

Your welcome !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We're wracking our brains over how to say no to people we don't want to meet.

How do you say it politely and without causing offence?

Quite a simple question you might think ... but not to us "

Normally if the message was well thought out and effort we just say not for us thanks. If it was the standard hi how are you, delete and block, if its rude or coarse normal take the piss in a similar tone.

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By *ngelina4uWoman
over a year ago

Camberley/Middleton


"We're wracking our brains over how to say no to people we don't want to meet.

How do you say it politely and without causing offence?

Quite a simple question you might think ... but not to us

A polite no should do the trick. If they react negatively to it, you thank yourself for being discerning."

After you have been abused a dozen or so times you tend to avoid the no thanks message you can actually predict many of the people who get abusive after a while and besides if you don't reply to an unverified person or non site supporter they can't mail you again so that raises another quandary.

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows


"When I first joined, I did reply to every single message with a polite, thanks but no thanks, even explained why not, again politely.

I was raised to be polite & courteous to treat others as you'd like to be treated, but soon found it was more hard work than it was worth.

A lot just read & deleted my message, and thst was the end of it.

But I recieved abuse, name calling, even threats from some.

Others chose to try convince me to change my mind, giving reasons why I was wrong, telling me what I was missing out on.

I soon developed a 'lack of conscience' in replying.

Now, if soneone sends me what is obviously a well thought out, personal message I will send a polite reply but those kind of messages are rare.

The rest get marked unread, left a few days then deleted.

I've also learnt how to spot the ones I know will send a follow up (usually ranty) message when I do this, so I block them at the same time.

I appreciate that it can be hard for some single guys on here, seems like all they get is ignored messages, but if I spent my time dealing with them I'd have no time to actually do anything else.

To add to this, if they've been rude enough to ignore a profile before messaging why should we have to be polite and message back to say no thanks? because one wrong doesn't beget another

What is wrong with not replying? Do you reply to every piece of junk mail that comes through your door? Ever unsolicited email every cold caller who calls you because my money isn't you don't like everyone dosn't . Not replying isn't rude or a wrong ask admin. "

Precisely..

Have you seen my current status?

Still doesn't stop messages, very obviously from people who CBA to read my profile.

Why should I reply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We're wracking our brains over how to say no to people we don't want to meet.

How do you say it politely and without causing offence?

Quite a simple question you might think ... but not to us "

I say either

Thanks for the message but we are set up for meets but have a lovely night tho or

Thanks for the message but your not for us. Have a lovely night tho

Never had abuse. More often than not they say thank you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can understand for women on this group who probably get hundreds of messages every day, you clearly can’t reply to all of them everyday as it would be a nightmare.

Unfortunately there is nothing worse than being blocked, I just look at sent messages, if it’s been deleted it’s a No so you already know.

I’m sure single females and couples get too much abuse so a bluck delete is probably best option.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to reply to all now I just don't have time so I say no thanks instead

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Typical message ladies have to deal with ...: “I’m starving”

Men of Fab: “I’ve got something for you to eat”

Lady: “I didn’t sleep a wink last night”

Mof: “I know how to put you to sleep”

Lady: “I’m so depressed, my dog just died”

Mof: “I’ve got a bone that cheer you up”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try to mention gently how their lack of a full profile really is hindering any replies i would usually give .

Or if they are not what im looking for im honest and recieve a Thankyou in return. I guess im just very lucky not to recieve any abuse .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Typical message ladies have to deal with ...: “I’m starving”

Men of Fab: “I’ve got something for you to eat”

Lady: “I didn’t sleep a wink last night”

Mof: “I know how to put you to sleep”

Lady: “I’m so depressed, my dog just died”

Mof: “I’ve got a bone that cheer you up”

"

Ha ha yes so true....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As a single guy, I do appreciate a thanks, no thanks or your not for us, or even no thank you, happy fabbing!

Yes as a someone intrested in another’s profile and attracted to the photos / description etc it can be somewhat disheartening.... but I’d prefer to know rather than a block as I don’t think I’m that bad to deserve that! Bit harsh!

But I also understand that some people apparently get rude, of which isn’t on! Those should be banned from the site!

Or better still, a warning on the profile of which others can se and be warned off, especially if you then saw them at a club!!!

"

Totally agree, it takes very little effort to say thanks for the interest but you’re not for us/me. Saves people wondering as if a msg is just deleted I think it’s just bad manners. Someone has bothered to msg and express an interest, flattering but yeah not for us. 90% reply with thanks for letting us know....then move on. We’re all meant to be adults on here after all

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By *carlettxWoman
over a year ago

Essex


"We're wracking our brains over how to say no to people we don't want to meet.

How do you say it politely and without causing offence?

Quite a simple question you might think ... but not to us "

‘ Thank you for your messages but not what I’m looking for - happy swinging ‘

That’s what I say

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We're wracking our brains over how to say no to people we don't want to meet.

How do you say it politely and without causing offence?

Quite a simple question you might think ... but not to us

‘ Thank you for your messages but not what I’m looking for - happy swinging ‘

That’s what I say "
you never said that to me, you said how quickly can you get here

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By *carlettxWoman
over a year ago

Essex


"We're wracking our brains over how to say no to people we don't want to meet.

How do you say it politely and without causing offence?

Quite a simple question you might think ... but not to us

‘ Thank you for your messages but not what I’m looking for - happy swinging ‘

That’s what I say you never said that to me, you said how quickly can you get here "

Haha and then you woke up

Jokes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just say they seem nice, but they are unfortunately not my type. I usually end it with something positive, like I hope they have fun on the site and to take care

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By *evilmancoolMan
over a year ago

london

I’m usually just up front and honest, come out with something like thank you very much but I wasn’t interested in looking at the moment. I get loads of guys asking to hook up with me so I just reply with no thanks mate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I just say they seem nice, but they are unfortunately not my type. I usually end it with something positive, like I hope they have fun on the site and to take care "

Glad i didn't get that reply from you .lol . Hope you are well lovely xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As a single guy, I do appreciate a thanks, no thanks or your not for us, or even no thank you, happy fabbing!

Yes as a someone intrested in another’s profile and attracted to the photos / description etc it can be somewhat disheartening.... but I’d prefer to know rather than a block as I don’t think I’m that bad to deserve that! Bit harsh!

But I also understand that some people apparently get rude, of which isn’t on! Those should be banned from the site!

Or better still, a warning on the profile of which others can se and be warned off, especially if you then saw them at a club!!!

Totally agree, it takes very little effort to say thanks for the interest but you’re not for us/me. Saves people wondering as if a msg is just deleted I think it’s just bad manners. Someone has bothered to msg and express an interest, flattering but yeah not for us. 90% reply with thanks for letting us know....then move on. We’re all meant to be adults on here after all "

Interesting view on how busy other people's lives are

So how many unsolicited mails and messages do you reply to every single day, that includes any emails at work, I get about 300 of those a day, sales nonsense.

Now ask Scarlettx the same question, or any couple with a de ent looking woman and tell them how much of their day they should spend replying to messages, wspe ially when their profile already says please don't message me.

I would like to know how I should manage my time if you can help out?

I would estimate it would take me two hours a day, when should I do it?

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By *carlettxWoman
over a year ago

Essex


"As a single guy, I do appreciate a thanks, no thanks or your not for us, or even no thank you, happy fabbing!

Yes as a someone intrested in another’s profile and attracted to the photos / description etc it can be somewhat disheartening.... but I’d prefer to know rather than a block as I don’t think I’m that bad to deserve that! Bit harsh!

But I also understand that some people apparently get rude, of which isn’t on! Those should be banned from the site!

Or better still, a warning on the profile of which others can se and be warned off, especially if you then saw them at a club!!!

Totally agree, it takes very little effort to say thanks for the interest but you’re not for us/me. Saves people wondering as if a msg is just deleted I think it’s just bad manners. Someone has bothered to msg and express an interest, flattering but yeah not for us. 90% reply with thanks for letting us know....then move on. We’re all meant to be adults on here after all

Interesting view on how busy other people's lives are

So how many unsolicited mails and messages do you reply to every single day, that includes any emails at work, I get about 300 of those a day, sales nonsense.

Now ask Scarlettx the same question, or any couple with a de ent looking woman and tell them how much of their day they should spend replying to messages, wspe ially when their profile already says please don't message me.

I would like to know how I should manage my time if you can help out?

I would estimate it would take me two hours a day, when should I do it? "

Ok well here it is .... been on here for 5 years and every day since then never less than 100 messages a day. Putting a pic up (because I do actually want to have a meet) means an overnight 1 thousand messages +

That’s not me blowing smoke up my arse that’s absolute fact for anyone popular on here (Ask them)

And I can tell you that 95% of messages are nothing like my preferences

I try to reply to as many as I can but I work full time and just don’t get time

I appreciate all messages but it’s a harsh reality I can’t reply to all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As a single guy, I do appreciate a thanks, no thanks or your not for us, or even no thank you, happy fabbing!

Yes as a someone intrested in another’s profile and attracted to the photos / description etc it can be somewhat disheartening.... but I’d prefer to know rather than a block as I don’t think I’m that bad to deserve that! Bit harsh!

But I also understand that some people apparently get rude, of which isn’t on! Those should be banned from the site!

Or better still, a warning on the profile of which others can se and be warned off, especially if you then saw them at a club!!!

Totally agree, it takes very little effort to say thanks for the interest but you’re not for us/me. Saves people wondering as if a msg is just deleted I think it’s just bad manners. Someone has bothered to msg and express an interest, flattering but yeah not for us. 90% reply with thanks for letting us know....then move on. We’re all meant to be adults on here after all

Interesting view on how busy other people's lives are

So how many unsolicited mails and messages do you reply to every single day, that includes any emails at work, I get about 300 of those a day, sales nonsense.

Now ask Scarlettx the same question, or any couple with a de ent looking woman and tell them how much of their day they should spend replying to messages, wspe ially when their profile already says please don't message me.

I would like to know how I should manage my time if you can help out?

I would estimate it would take me two hours a day, when should I do it?

Ok well here it is .... been on here for 5 years and every day since then never less than 100 messages a day. Putting a pic up (because I do actually want to have a meet) means an overnight 1 thousand messages +

That’s not me blowing smoke up my arse that’s absolute fact for anyone popular on here (Ask them)

And I can tell you that 95% of messages are nothing like my preferences

I try to reply to as many as I can but I work full time and just don’t get time

I appreciate all messages but it’s a harsh reality I can’t reply to all "
exactly and that's the same for many women and couples here not enough time, so bulk delete

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As a single guy, I do appreciate a thanks, no thanks or your not for us, or even no thank you, happy fabbing!

Yes as a someone intrested in another’s profile and attracted to the photos / description etc it can be somewhat disheartening.... but I’d prefer to know rather than a block as I don’t think I’m that bad to deserve that! Bit harsh!

But I also understand that some people apparently get rude, of which isn’t on! Those should be banned from the site!

Or better still, a warning on the profile of which others can se and be warned off, especially if you then saw them at a club!!!

Totally agree, it takes very little effort to say thanks for the interest but you’re not for us/me. Saves people wondering as if a msg is just deleted I think it’s just bad manners. Someone has bothered to msg and express an interest, flattering but yeah not for us. 90% reply with thanks for letting us know....then move on. We’re all meant to be adults on here after all

Interesting view on how busy other people's lives are

So how many unsolicited mails and messages do you reply to every single day, that includes any emails at work, I get about 300 of those a day, sales nonsense.

Now ask Scarlettx the same question, or any couple with a de ent looking woman and tell them how much of their day they should spend replying to messages, wspe ially when their profile already says please don't message me.

I would like to know how I should manage my time if you can help out?

I would estimate it would take me two hours a day, when should I do it? "

I also have a busy life...single parent, working momma etc but we can all take 5 mins when doing other things to send a reply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As a single guy, I do appreciate a thanks, no thanks or your not for us, or even no thank you, happy fabbing!

Yes as a someone intrested in another’s profile and attracted to the photos / description etc it can be somewhat disheartening.... but I’d prefer to know rather than a block as I don’t think I’m that bad to deserve that! Bit harsh!

But I also understand that some people apparently get rude, of which isn’t on! Those should be banned from the site!

Or better still, a warning on the profile of which others can se and be warned off, especially if you then saw them at a club!!!

Totally agree, it takes very little effort to say thanks for the interest but you’re not for us/me. Saves people wondering as if a msg is just deleted I think it’s just bad manners. Someone has bothered to msg and express an interest, flattering but yeah not for us. 90% reply with thanks for letting us know....then move on. We’re all meant to be adults on here after all

Interesting view on how busy other people's lives are

So how many unsolicited mails and messages do you reply to every single day, that includes any emails at work, I get about 300 of those a day, sales nonsense.

Now ask Scarlettx the same question, or any couple with a de ent looking woman and tell them how much of their day they should spend replying to messages, wspe ially when their profile already says please don't message me.

I would like to know how I should manage my time if you can help out?

I would estimate it would take me two hours a day, when should I do it?

Ok well here it is .... been on here for 5 years and every day since then never less than 100 messages a day. Putting a pic up (because I do actually want to have a meet) means an overnight 1 thousand messages +

That’s not me blowing smoke up my arse that’s absolute fact for anyone popular on here (Ask them)

And I can tell you that 95% of messages are nothing like my preferences

I try to reply to as many as I can but I work full time and just don’t get time

I appreciate all messages but it’s a harsh reality I can’t reply to all "

Love it when people moan about so many messages yet fail to do the simple thing and just block everyone from messaging them and go look themselves, a far better use of time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just block them... no need to say anything more... the conversation will only turn negative

I agree i used to reply back and say no thanks and yes i got hit with abuse so now i just block ,i dont know them so it does not bother me x"

Yep I do too now. Never used to. Tried to be nice but it doesnt seem to work

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As a single guy, I do appreciate a thanks, no thanks or your not for us, or even no thank you, happy fabbing!

Yes as a someone intrested in another’s profile and attracted to the photos / description etc it can be somewhat disheartening.... but I’d prefer to know rather than a block as I don’t think I’m that bad to deserve that! Bit harsh!

But I also understand that some people apparently get rude, of which isn’t on! Those should be banned from the site!

Or better still, a warning on the profile of which others can se and be warned off, especially if you then saw them at a club!!!

Totally agree, it takes very little effort to say thanks for the interest but you’re not for us/me. Saves people wondering as if a msg is just deleted I think it’s just bad manners. Someone has bothered to msg and express an interest, flattering but yeah not for us. 90% reply with thanks for letting us know....then move on. We’re all meant to be adults on here after all

Interesting view on how busy other people's lives are

So how many unsolicited mails and messages do you reply to every single day, that includes any emails at work, I get about 300 of those a day, sales nonsense.

Now ask Scarlettx the same question, or any couple with a de ent looking woman and tell them how much of their day they should spend replying to messages, wspe ially when their profile already says please don't message me.

I would like to know how I should manage my time if you can help out?

I would estimate it would take me two hours a day, when should I do it?

Ok well here it is .... been on here for 5 years and every day since then never less than 100 messages a day. Putting a pic up (because I do actually want to have a meet) means an overnight 1 thousand messages +

That’s not me blowing smoke up my arse that’s absolute fact for anyone popular on here (Ask them)

And I can tell you that 95% of messages are nothing like my preferences

I try to reply to as many as I can but I work full time and just don’t get time

I appreciate all messages but it’s a harsh reality I can’t reply to all

Love it when people moan about so many messages yet fail to do the simple thing and just block everyone from messaging them and go look themselves, a far better use of time"

I didn't see it as moaning. Just an explanation behind not being able to reply to all.

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By *carlettxWoman
over a year ago

Essex


"As a single guy, I do appreciate a thanks, no thanks or your not for us, or even no thank you, happy fabbing!

Yes as a someone intrested in another’s profile and attracted to the photos / description etc it can be somewhat disheartening.... but I’d prefer to know rather than a block as I don’t think I’m that bad to deserve that! Bit harsh!

But I also understand that some people apparently get rude, of which isn’t on! Those should be banned from the site!

Or better still, a warning on the profile of which others can se and be warned off, especially if you then saw them at a club!!!

Totally agree, it takes very little effort to say thanks for the interest but you’re not for us/me. Saves people wondering as if a msg is just deleted I think it’s just bad manners. Someone has bothered to msg and express an interest, flattering but yeah not for us. 90% reply with thanks for letting us know....then move on. We’re all meant to be adults on here after all

Interesting view on how busy other people's lives are

So how many unsolicited mails and messages do you reply to every single day, that includes any emails at work, I get about 300 of those a day, sales nonsense.

Now ask Scarlettx the same question, or any couple with a de ent looking woman and tell them how much of their day they should spend replying to messages, wspe ially when their profile already says please don't message me.

I would like to know how I should manage my time if you can help out?

I would estimate it would take me two hours a day, when should I do it?

Ok well here it is .... been on here for 5 years and every day since then never less than 100 messages a day. Putting a pic up (because I do actually want to have a meet) means an overnight 1 thousand messages +

That’s not me blowing smoke up my arse that’s absolute fact for anyone popular on here (Ask them)

And I can tell you that 95% of messages are nothing like my preferences

I try to reply to as many as I can but I work full time and just don’t get time

I appreciate all messages but it’s a harsh reality I can’t reply to all

Love it when people moan about so many messages yet fail to do the simple thing and just block everyone from messaging them and go look themselves, a far better use of time"

I’m guessing your comment is directed at those that actually moan rather than tagging it to the end of mine as if it were for me ?

As my name was mentioned I wanted to answer what the gentleman was questioning

And in fact i did in a very matter of fact way - no moaning at all ... that’s why I said I appreciate any messages , try to reply but can’t always manage it ‘

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By *carlettxWoman
over a year ago

Essex


"As a single guy, I do appreciate a thanks, no thanks or your not for us, or even no thank you, happy fabbing!

Yes as a someone intrested in another’s profile and attracted to the photos / description etc it can be somewhat disheartening.... but I’d prefer to know rather than a block as I don’t think I’m that bad to deserve that! Bit harsh!

But I also understand that some people apparently get rude, of which isn’t on! Those should be banned from the site!

Or better still, a warning on the profile of which others can se and be warned off, especially if you then saw them at a club!!!

Totally agree, it takes very little effort to say thanks for the interest but you’re not for us/me. Saves people wondering as if a msg is just deleted I think it’s just bad manners. Someone has bothered to msg and express an interest, flattering but yeah not for us. 90% reply with thanks for letting us know....then move on. We’re all meant to be adults on here after all

Interesting view on how busy other people's lives are

So how many unsolicited mails and messages do you reply to every single day, that includes any emails at work, I get about 300 of those a day, sales nonsense.

Now ask Scarlettx the same question, or any couple with a de ent looking woman and tell them how much of their day they should spend replying to messages, wspe ially when their profile already says please don't message me.

I would like to know how I should manage my time if you can help out?

I would estimate it would take me two hours a day, when should I do it?

Ok well here it is .... been on here for 5 years and every day since then never less than 100 messages a day. Putting a pic up (because I do actually want to have a meet) means an overnight 1 thousand messages +

That’s not me blowing smoke up my arse that’s absolute fact for anyone popular on here (Ask them)

And I can tell you that 95% of messages are nothing like my preferences

I try to reply to as many as I can but I work full time and just don’t get time

I appreciate all messages but it’s a harsh reality I can’t reply to all

Love it when people moan about so many messages yet fail to do the simple thing and just block everyone from messaging them and go look themselves, a far better use of time

I didn't see it as moaning. Just an explanation behind not being able to reply to all. "

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