FabSwingers.com forum: What kind of messegeg

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi all. Just wondering what type of messeges you lovely ladies like. Ive sent many and they all get 'read' no reply, or just deleted. Most my messeges have been polite "Hi, how are you, mention their profile and try start conversation" and ive also tried the "lets meet" messege. No luck with either. Can anyone hep?

Thanks

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By *imal75Man
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Mate, Give up I have!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well there's the answer to both your problems,

you should become penpals!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well there's the answer to both your problems,

you should become penpals!"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

think i may heve a better chance with a penpal!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like messages that are personal (proving they have read our profile) and humorous.

I've got to say the "hi, how are you?" approach has never impressed me when it's a first message... it's used far too often by single guys on here.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

what kind of messege would you like?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok...if 100 ladies respond you'll get 100 different answers, so really, how will that help you?

Remember, just because you like the look of someone doesn't you're what they're looking for. Be positive and don't give up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like messages that are personal (proving they have read our profile) and humorous.

I've got to say the "hi, how are you?" approach has never impressed me when it's a first message... it's used far too often by single guys on here. "

Agree, boring, as it's usually followed by "wanna chat".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well there's the answer to both your problems,

you should become penpals!"
lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"what kind of messege would you like?"

You're not really getting it are you?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

i dont say 'wanna chat' that is boring!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok...if 100 ladies respond you'll get 100 different answers, so really, how will that help you?"

That's so true! That's why I said the word "personal" in my response

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

guess i gotta take a phycology degree to find out what you women want!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like messages that are personal (proving they have read our profile) and humorous.

I've got to say the "hi, how are you?" approach has never impressed me when it's a first message... it's used far too often by single guys on here.

Agree, boring, as it's usually followed by "wanna chat". "

Well at least they haven't come flying in with "wanna shag"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

i wouldnt mind!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"guess i gotta take a phycology degree to find out what you women want!"

Profiles come in quite handy when it comes to finding out what women want on here

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

i read them all, comment on them ask about them say something a little funny, still nothing

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures

I posted on this subject just recently.

http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/79519

It's not that there is anything wrong with the kind of message you are sending - it's just that they are what EVERYONE sends.

So after a while they just begin to blend into the background, and while no-one is offended by them, they just can't force themselves to care either.

One of the golden rules of attracting women is to always be the exception to the rule.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"I like messages that are personal (proving they have read our profile) and humorous.

I've got to say the "hi, how are you?" approach has never impressed me when it's a first message... it's used far too often by single guys on here.

Agree, boring, as it's usually followed by "wanna chat". "

Lol Glad to hear it's not just me that gets those messages!!

What on earth are you meant to reply to that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi all. Just wondering what type of messeges you lovely ladies like. Ive sent many and they all get 'read' no reply, or just deleted. Most my messeges have been polite "Hi, how are you, mention their profile and try start conversation" and ive also tried the "lets meet" messege. No luck with either. Can anyone hep?

Thanks"

It may not be your message, some of your tastes and pictures are a little...specialised...you may just not be what they're looking for...

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By *oournsMan
over a year ago

This seems a popular problem. I nearly gave up at first two weeks, no replies two friends. What i didnt do was moan in public about it. It comes across as self pitying and desperate and they are not attractive qualities.

If you doing same thing and expect a different result, maybe thats the problem.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

im not moaning, this is the first time ive mentioned it, ive been on over 2 years, no success, changed profile and name a few times to try different approaches, still nothing. Just asking for a little help, not moaning, if i wanted to moan id moan!

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By *oournsMan
over a year ago

It could be seen that way. And asking people what you should message them. Can you see the problem there, you cant be spoonfed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It could be seen that way. And asking people what you should message them. Can you see the problem there, you cant be spoonfed"

He's asking for advice. The clue is the fact that he posted it in the "Swinging Support and Advice" section of the forums.

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By *oournsMan
over a year ago

Thats true, and i did give him advice, try something different. Its not easy for single guys, i know that from experience, and you either buckle down and persevere or give up. If you smack of desperation it may put people off, which is the second advice, these threads dont show the op in a good light normally

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

Thanks"

If you want constructive criticsm try changing your pictures. Mabye it's because I am male but pictures of you shoving things up your bum does not look good. Then again maybe women like it?

With your username being Wants_Stretching and the way your profile reads at the moment it looks like you just want to meet somebody to stretch you. What does the woman get out of meeting you (unless she loves stretching men)?

I would also remove your email address as people say email addresses and tel numbers on a profile looks desperate.

I would also remove "I have been on this site a while, no luck yet". It's a swingers website not the national lottery. You don't get meets by luck. You get meets by enticing/wooing people you want to meet into wanting to meet you. Give them reasons why meeting you would be a good thing to do.

Talk more about yourself and the types of people you wish to meet. Sell yourself. Remember us single guys outnumber women and couples about 50 - 1 if not more.

Use the forum search to see other advice people have been given regarding writing or updating their profiles.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks"

im going to be totally honest, its more about whos sent the message rather than what they have put

if they dont send a pic or they do send a pic but they not my type i dont even read the messsage as i see no point as im not going to meet someone i havnt seen or dont fancy

if they send a pic and i find them attractive and i see them as a possible meet i will reply even i they just send .....hi......in there message

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks

im going to be totally honest, its more about whos sent the message rather than what they have put

if they dont send a pic or they do send a pic but they not my type i dont even read the messsage as i see no point as im not going to meet someone i havnt seen or dont fancy

if they send a pic and i find them attractive and i see them as a possible meet i will reply even i they just send .....hi......in there message"

I agree with this. If I like the look of the avatar and pics that the guy has sent then if he just wrote, hi how are you, it wouldnt matter.

You have to accept that even if you copied and pasted some of the things ladies have said in this thread, and sent a message to them with their words on it, chances are they wouldnt meet if they were not attracted to you.

I can understand the frustration but you have to be yourself and not what others want you to be. So write the messages you want to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just read ops profile and looked at his pictures

Pretty obvious why you aren't getting women to reply to your messages I'd of thought !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yes...i have to agree with the last post....ive also just taken a peek at your profile, and if you messaged me, those pics would definitely put me off

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I strongly suggest you look at Collarme or Fetlife. This is more of a swinging site, whereas they are more fetish sites, which I think is more your thing.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

"I like messages that are personal (proving they have read our profile) and humorous.

I've got to say the "hi, how are you?" approach has never impressed me when it's a first message... it's used far too often by single guys on here.

Agree, boring, as it's usually followed by "wanna chat". "

Yup,drives me mad,especially sent when i am in chat

i refer the OP to rule 9...

if you cant pull out there you cant pull in here...what do u say to get a fuck in a pub or club?

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

ffs jem...read the profile....

tbh you wont pick up on the sites others have suggested either...consider what do u have to offer....

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By *oournsMan
over a year ago

I dont think the new pics will help, more of the same isnt going to entice anyone if it hasnt before.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me it's more the profile than the message that gets my attention unless the message is in txt spk, a oneliner wanna fuk type of message or very crude in which case I don't look any further. As the OP is looking for something quite specific with fairly narrow criteria then that will cut down the numbers of people likely to be interested. Might be worth trying a fetish site. Good luck anyway and hope you fulfil your fantasy. Ms

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm surprised those pictures got passed...not that I'm bitter mine, along similar lines weren't.

Yeah, yeah, I've got to get over it!

OP, I've got an inflating butt plug too...does yours vibrate?

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

"I'm surprised those pictures got passed...not that I'm bitter mine, along similar lines weren't.

Yeah, yeah, I've got to get over it!

OP, I've got an inflating butt plug too...does yours vibrate?

mine does

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By *iceguydaveMan
over a year ago

Monmouth

OP, I've got an inflating butt plug too...does yours vibrate?

Depends whether the bus is going through an area with a lot of speedbumps

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall

I reply to ANY polite message with a gorgeous pic attached. If he is right he is right, no matter what he says... within reason of course!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP, I've got an inflating butt plug too...does yours vibrate?

Depends whether the bus is going through an area with a lot of speedbumps

*Giggles*...oh you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"im going to be totally honest, its more about whos sent the message rather than what they have put

and having read the polite message, the lady will take a peek at your profile and see that you want stretching by a 32" dildo

although this may be your fantasy, it won't be everyones cuppa and that in itself may put them off from responding.

i am not suggesting that you stifle your desires or hide what is is you seek, but maybe tailor your search more towards finding a lady who may be interested in similar activities.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 12/12/11 14:44:28]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It makes no different if it's a short or long message, read the profile, are you what they are looking for?...

They will respond if your location is where they want, you look ok in the pics, and the profile is a grown up one, your half way there...

Asking a relevant question from their profile, might interest them to reply, but they have to be interested.

Take no notice if people saying, send a nice long message, and if you have to bribe them with meals and paying for the hotel, PAYG woman works out far cheaper and she will do what you want...

If they are genuine looking for playmates they will give and take a little, but remember they have the upper hand...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just had a peek at the pics to see what the fuss is about.

That 32" thing is gotta hurt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"guess i gotta take a phycology degree to find out what you women want!"

Or you could try reading what they tell you they want. ffs

quote ""I like messages that are personal (proving they have read our profile) and humorous."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"guess i gotta take a phycology degree to find out what you women want!

Or you could try reading what they tell you they want. ffs

quote ""I like messages that are personal (proving they have read our profile) and humorous."

No guarantee, and they could cut and paste them as their messages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"guess i gotta take a phycology degree to find out what you women want!

Or you could try reading what they tell you they want. ffs

quote ""I like messages that are personal (proving they have read our profile) and humorous."

I don't bother and it hasnt done me any harm at the end of the day it's all about timing and wether there is a physical attraction or not. Always send pics and if all else fails lower your standards, it's not difficult to meet people on here it just depends on your expectations

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It could be seen that way. And asking people what you should message them. Can you see the problem there, you cant be spoonfed

He's asking for advice. The clue is the fact that he posted it in the "Swinging Support and Advice" section of the forums."

+1 well said!

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