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Where to look?!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So I’ve been around the swinging scene for a few years now and explored many aspects of it.

So the advice I’m looking for is where to look for an opportunity to find a willing female sub. Someone who is at the start of their journey and willing to explore at the same pace with me. I created a profile on another site a short while ago dedicated to this sort of stuff, but not having any luck as yet. Is there anyone who could point me in the right direction or if I’m really lucky anyone who would be interested in this with me, fat chance I know. Hoping to get some constructive advice here. Many thanks. Jx

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By *xMFM3sumsxxWoman
over a year ago

SouthWest Lancashire

If you're looking for a kink based relationship then it really is gonna take time and to build up trust with someone.

Same for any relationship really, trust is needed and that develops over time.

I'd avoid any site or place where the general expectation is instant gratification. You can hit if off with people in these spaces but they seem less likely to be fundamentally willing to trust you or take the time to do build anything up.

I left all fuck sites when i realised the above. Only bothered speaking to people for friendship and not because i was looking for a sex based relationship with them, if all they went on about was sexual or kink stuff i wasn't interested either, and this works really well for what i wanted.

Relationships take compatibility outside of sex as a priority because realistically you are not gonna spend all your time fucking. You can implement kink outside of sex of course but i'm guessing as a newbie you are more looking for the sexual experience. Whichever you are looking for both will likely take a fair bit of time and effort to build up trust.

If you're looking for only a sex based relationship then just make friends anyway, some of them will want regular meets if they are getting what they want with you. You could even consider paying someone to meet you regular if you want NSA, there's no shame in that and it will probably be a better experience as they have more experience and knowledge to offer you. Obviously this site is not open to paid meets but plenty of others are so google for them.

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By *rmskirk360Woman
over a year ago

Wigan

Go to Munches, socials and events, and talk to people and make friends.

I know I personally wouldn't waste my time on someone that won't go out and make friends. It usually means they're too scared, or need their hand holding, and that usually means it's going to be a boring relationship/dynamic.

Get out, make friends, socialise, and you never know, people will maybe like you, want to be friends, want more...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't look. Make it clear what your looking for and go to events that are catered towards that sort of thing

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

To all above,

Thank you very much for your advice and I will go forward with it. I’ve been around swiniging for about 4 years now and know that on here will never get you anywhere. I do go to events, but not as yet within the SW area. This is something I’m hoping to remedy fairly soon. I’m patient and I’m looking for a lot more than just the sexual satisfaction with this. I want to explore all with someone, but finding that someone is so far being difficult. Like I said though I will take your advice and keep trying. Thanks again. Jx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To all above,

Thank you very much for your advice and I will go forward with it. I’ve been around swiniging for about 4 years now and know that on here will never get you anywhere. I do go to events, but not as yet within the SW area. This is something I’m hoping to remedy fairly soon. I’m patient and I’m looking for a lot more than just the sexual satisfaction with this. I want to explore all with someone, but finding that someone is so far being difficult. Like I said though I will take your advice and keep trying. Thanks again. Jx"

Why won’t being on here get you nowhere?

Surely building a connection with someone is the same on any site or in the real world.

Being negative is not an attractive trait and so it might be you that needs to change.

I’ve chatted to a lot of people about various levels of sexual play but that’s after I’ve spoken to them about other things too for a while. It’s all about confidence and gaining trust...trust does not happen overnight.

Maybe don’t go into every conversation thinking about what you want from it. Just go in with a relaxed approach, with no expectations and you might be surprised.

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