FabSwingers.com forum: In need of advice

By *entlemenpip OP Man
over a year ago

not far

So I am attached and have been for 5 years when we got together we both were very sexually active people and very open then 3 months in something traumatic happened to my other half that stopped her from trusting people and killed her sex drive we went from sex every day to hardly ever. Fast forward 5 years we have two kids but it's been over a year since we last had sex and have almost no intemacy in the relationship. We go to bed at different times and mite as well be in different beds.

I'm miserable and can't take much more so I ask you all for advice as I can't ask friends

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try talking to your wife

Try to arrange a visit to your Gp.

Try these first.

Kind regards

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Try talking to your wife

Try to arrange a visit to your Gp.

Try these first.

Kind regards "

Talk to your wife. As if she read this and her personal information was on here shed be heartbroken and more trust issues

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By *entlemenpip OP Man
over a year ago

not far

why the gp

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By *electableDalliancesCouple
over a year ago

leeds

Maybe she could do with some counselling to overcome the trauma you speak of.

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By *entlemenpip OP Man
over a year ago

not far

To be clear not married. we spoke about in the past as much as me saying I miss us being intermate and well it just ends up with what feel like a token bit of effection for a couple of days then she falls back into way she was

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By *lorious hole bs16Man
over a year ago

Bristol

Sounds really difficult for you..

Have you told her you are looking elsewhere as a result of her losing interest in sex?

Would it make matters of trust worse if you said you were on fabswingers?

Things do change for all of us,one day at a time,hang on in there and if you feel depressed, perhaps you could talk to your gp about it.

Wish you well..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Really think you’d be better off seeking professional help rather than asking on a Swingers site

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By *lorious hole bs16Man
over a year ago

Bristol

"Really think you’d be better off seeking professional help rather than asking on a Swingers site "

My understanding is that he is asking to be pointed in the right direction...

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds

Does your wife know you're on here ?.If she doesn't know and you're outed is likely to break any trust she has in you

I'd hazard a guess you're going to be judged by folk rather than given advice ..

As others are likely to say speak to her

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By *lorious hole bs16Man
over a year ago

Bristol

"Does your wife know you're on here ?.If she doesn't know and you're outed is likely to break any trust she has in you

I'd hazard a guess you're going to be judged by folk rather than given advice ..

As others are likely to say speak to her "

He has never said he is married

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By *elma and ShaggyCouple
over a year ago

Bedworth

"Does your wife know you're on here ?.If she doesn't know and you're outed is likely to break any trust she has in you

I'd hazard a guess you're going to be judged by folk rather than given advice ..

As others are likely to say speak to her

He has never said he is married"

Wife/partner only difference is a piece of paper. He’s in a committed long term relationship of 5+ years and they have 2 children together. The rest is purely semantics

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you have had 2 kids in the last 5 years, her lack of sex drive may now be nothing to do with the original trauma

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By *entlemenpip OP Man
over a year ago

not far

Clearly this was a bad idea I was hoping for people to suggest how to approach the conversation or if they have had similar problems and how they overcame them but clearly I didn't make that clear.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try focusing on your marriage and not a swinging site,you will find the problem is a lot closer to home - maybe your wife's trust issues stem from your inability to be true to her . Only a thought like

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By *ax1971Man
over a year ago

St helens

Ask her if there's anything she needs to talk about and you'll be open minded and listen...

Tell her there's a none sexual hug anytime she wants....

You both could do with talking to a professional...

Good luck op...

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By *icplshropsCouple
over a year ago

Rock

"So I am attached and have been for 5 years when we got together we both were very sexually active people and very open then 3 months in something traumatic happened to my other half that stopped her from trusting people and killed her sex drive we went from sex every day to hardly ever. Fast forward 5 years we have two kids but it's been over a year since we last had sex and have almost no intemacy in the relationship. We go to bed at different times and mite as well be in different beds.

I'm miserable and can't take much more so I ask you all for advice as I can't ask friends

She could be depressed and/or suffering from PTSD due to the previous trauma. The first steps would be seeing her GP and to have some counselling - both for her trauma and your relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You won't find your answers here. No one can know your relationship and it's issues better than you and your other.

Talk, talk some some, keep talking, and if you both need help find it from those who can provide it in a proper setting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After our son was born a 14 year super healthy sex life was lost with 3am feeds, 6.30am starts and no work/life balance.

It would have been easy to give up and look elsewhere but if something's worth the effort most things can be turned round with support for you both, more dialogue about the issue and a better understanding of each others needs.

We sorted ourselves out through spending more time together, finding a decent babysitter and finding jobs with hours that meant we had time to enjoy each other.

Don't give up if it what you really want however fab swingers destroys weak and problematic relationships so be warned.

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

1. Delete your account on here unless you want to risk breaking her heart.

2. Talk to her, be honest but be considerate of her feelings too.

3. Ask her to see her GP and ask for help with whatever caused her trauma. Counselling may help but opening up and talking together will solve a lot.

4. Explain The lack of sex drive and her unhappiness is ready having an impact on you now aswell.

5. Go to bed at the same time and show her care and affection without expecting sex necessarily unless she indicatates she wants more.

6. Show her some attention, show her you still care and still find her attractive.

7. Take her out to dinner, before you do take her out and buy her a new outfit top to bottom to wear whilst at the dinner, deal that if you buy it you have an input in what it is and choose something a little more daring for her.

8. Pay for her to have her hair and nails done before the dinner as a surprise.

That'll be a good start

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By *entralscotscpl7Couple
over a year ago

Falkirk

"Clearly this was a bad idea I was hoping for people to suggest how to approach the conversation or if they have had similar problems and how they overcame them but clearly I didn't make that clear. "

The first answer you got on the post was the best.

Random strangers from a sex site is probably not the best place to seek advice on real life issues that affect you and your partner as nobody knows the full story from both sides.

Speaking to your partner is the best option. Regardless of what the outcome is at least you will know from her how she feels and how you can then deal with it.

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