FabSwingers.com forum: Where are we going wrong?

By *parkleandfluff OP Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

We go to clubs quite often but never seem to get any play and not totally sure why. We chat to people but that’s all. We’ve played odd occasions where we’ve arranged to meet there but have never ‘pulled’ in the club.

My theory is mr is too fit and I’m not fit enough!! Although I used to get loads of attention as a single girl. Mr is very muscular and I’m not sure if this puts other men off for whatever reason? I’m very curvy and I know that’s not for everyone. Who knows. but it's starting to get a bit demoralising. Any profile advise or advise in general we’d be happy to hear

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Which clubs have you been to so far?

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By *oelDorianMan
over a year ago

vanaheim

maybe they are intimidated by your partner for some reason but maybe it's something else

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By *parkleandfluff OP Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

"Which clubs have you been to so far?

Attic, Chameleons’s, quest, townhouse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I see nothing wrong with your profile and that won’t have any effect on what happens in a club anyhow.

You seem a very attractive couple. Please don’t be down on yourself as larger ladies seem to get lots of fun in clubs.

What nights are you visiting chams? It’s bi night Monday. Other nights are not as receptive to bi men so that could be what’s keeping people back. Is it obvious that mr is bi? It could be they already know. It shouldn’t be that way but in my experience it often is.

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By *izzabelle and well hungCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh.

Don’t do yourself down like that. There’s no need x. We find it a bit hit and miss too. But hey if you pull every night perhaps you’re not picky enough?

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By *reenleavesCouple
over a year ago

North Wales

I'm not sure if this helps but you were on our list of people we were hoping to run into at Raw on Friday. Your photos are fantastic! Sadly the club was so busy I don't think we spotted you.

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By *parkleandfluff OP Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

"I'm not sure if this helps but you were on our list of people we were hoping to run into at Raw on Friday. Your photos are fantastic! Sadly the club was so busy I don't think we spotted you. "

It was very busy! And we still didn’t play!! Shame we didn’t bump into you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I don’t play with couples, but looking at your profile, if I did, you’d be the kind I’d play with, you both look gorgeous, please don’t beat your self up about why you don’t get play in clubs, use it as a social to meet other couplrs and maybe the play will come at a later date,

I very very rarely get a play in clubs either xx

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By *reenleavesCouple
over a year ago

North Wales

We find that busy clubs can actually make finding someone to play with harder. Not sure if it's a case of 'too much choice' or 'can't see the wood for the trees' but we usually have more luck on quieter nights

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By *team7279Couple
over a year ago

London

Just to say OP, you've got some lovely photos on your profile. Beautifully shot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We go to clubs quite often but never seem to get any play and not totally sure why. We chat to people but that’s all. We’ve played odd occasions where we’ve arranged to meet there but have never ‘pulled’ in the club.

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By *ottie 13Woman
over a year ago

Happy go lucky

Great pics

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By *bonynivoryCouple
over a year ago

market harborough

I think your profile is great, very nice pics.

We go to clubs a lot and sometimes we play more than others. In my opinion ( I may be wrong) but we tend to play most when we spend more time in specific rooms that are more geared towards playing than socialising. We've been known to sit at the bar and chat to the whole world all night lol. But for example at chams, the jacuzzi, couples room, cinema room if more adventurous and the room upstairs with the gate tend to lead to play.

The jacuzzi is great for that initial flirt and then you can go to a private room.

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds

The same advice that is often suggested to single guys is just as relevant to any gender or demographic.

Your profile text tells me very little

If you look at it from your prospective reader does it inform them.. your likes wants desires. Sell yourselves. Garner interest from the words and pictures make the reader want to meet you..

What are your expectations? Often suggested to guys.. same applies..You might need to manage them.. I know couples and ladies get lots of interest .. doesn't always mmean it's realistic

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By *uliaChrisCouple
over a year ago

westerham

Please don't get down about your body! Your pics look great!!! I think a lot of it is confidence, being very sociable and chatty with everyone (not just people you would want to play with) and being very sexy with each other makes people attractive to others. It's not all about how you look, but how you act that's the sexiest and most attractive thing xx

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By *ohnandLucyCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle

Have confidence, we have met you and you're both hot! Tbh honest we weren't entirely sure whether you wanted to play, we thought maybe that you were just wanting a chat. Maybe you could be a little bit more forward and flirty...

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By *uliaChrisCouple
over a year ago

westerham

"Have confidence, we have met you and you're both hot! Tbh honest we weren't entirely sure whether you wanted to play, we thought maybe that you were just wanting a chat. Maybe you could be a little bit more forward and flirty...

Agree with being forward and flirty. Read on another profile recently something to the effect "tell us you want to play, we're not telepathic" and it's so true! It might take you out your comfort zone but it will boost your confidence x

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By *bonynivoryCouple
over a year ago

market harborough

OK, so if you are going to clubs and not playing your profile is pretty irrelevant.

Having looked at your pictures there is no reason that you both shouldn't be playing.

However you might be partly right, single guys will be more reticent about approaching you if your male is in good shape, make sure he smiles a lot and doesn't look threatening, lol. Single guys get as hard a time at clubs as they do on the forums

If its couples then you will get the odd couple put off because of the same reason, but much less, so my guess is you are avoiding either:

The actual play areas

Eye contact in play areas

People get very close and neither knowing how to make the next move

Which clubs do you go to, some are known much more for playing than others.

But I honestly don't think it is because of you physically at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We can totally sympathise with you OP

We have exactly the same trouble, as singles never had a problem but as a couple we find it very hard and frustrating. We go to local clubs regularly and on many occasions chat but don’t play with others. One suggestion was that ppl assume as Male is Black we only play with other black guys which is not true

Have redone profile a few times

Any advice would be appreciated x

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By *bonynivoryCouple
over a year ago

market harborough

"We can totally sympathise with you OP

Have redone profile a few times

Any advice would be appreciated x"

As before, profile is irrelevant at clubs.

But I'm a little confused, are you saying that you get rejected, or people aren't approaching you?

From your pictures you're a good looking couple, therefore you will need to do more of the approaching, especially as a couple, you can't just sit there and wait. People will think you are going to reject them so won't make the first move. And if you're both sitting there doing that, nothing happens

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By *parkleandfluff OP Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

The same advice that is often suggested to single guys is just as relevant to any gender or demographic.

Your profile text tells me very little

If you look at it from your prospective reader does it inform them.. your likes wants desires. Sell yourselves. Garner interest from the words and pictures make the reader want to meet you..

What are your expectations? Often suggested to guys.. same applies..You might need to manage them.. I know couples and ladies get lots of interest .. doesn't always mmean it's realistic

Meeting people out of clubs isn’t the problem it’s when we are in a club where they won’t be reading our profile!

Maybe we have to change our expectations then!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Awesome thread guys... great advice

No one approaches us either tbh.... Think its our ink/look

Anyway we are adopting a more proactive method by talking to the muggles... fun so far

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By *irtysexyclassyCouple
over a year ago

ashby

I’ve always found the best way is to make your own approaches. You’re a very sexy couple I bet you diamonds if you do the pulling you’ll have a fab time. Trust me - step out of your comfort zone. X

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By *portyndNaughtyMan
over a year ago

Nearby Hinckley

Initially I don't see any major issues on your profile you are a very attractive couple.

I used to face the same and although always socialising and having long talks to couples or single females I ended up not playing as often as I wanted to.

I marginally changed my approach and instead of focusing on specific couple or female I started to chat to more people, short talk and before moving around I always say that if they are planning to play later I will be honoured to join them. It seemed to do the trick. Not sure if the same apply to a couple per say but it has been working for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Xtasia is a great club we've always had fun their,it's a very relaxed club very friendly and active, maybe you could give there a go x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fit, muscly, or hung guys used to sometimes put me off, depended on the meet. I have got over that now as I had a meet with a couple who where fit as hell and had an amazing time, so I take a chance in any couple now

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By *0tt0nSu3Woman
over a year ago

London

"Just to say OP, you've got some lovely photos on your profile. Beautifully shot."

I second that.

Lovely shots OP.

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By *ocketman99Man
over a year ago

fermanagh

Firstly I’ve never been to a club so my words might be irrelevant. From what you wrote I am surprised you haven’t had some experience in the club scene.

Secondly if I met you two your husbands perfect physique would put me off because like other men they probably feel intimidated or of the opinion “she’s wouldn’t be interested in me as I’m not ripped like him”. As for the female - your hot as a erupting volcano and the only thing I can think of you not getting fun in clubs is maybe you two are a bit shy in the environment. (I think I would be too). But I would say this after reading your posts and profile I think I would have joined in if I was there!

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By *bonynivoryCouple
over a year ago

market harborough

"Awesome thread guys... great advice

No one approaches us either tbh.... Think its our ink/look

Anyway we are adopting a more proactive method by talking to the muggles... fun so far

Great ink! Do you go the VA ever? You won't get a chance to be proactive,, lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My top tip for success in clubs is smile.

I have a terrible resting bitch face so I make a point in grinning at everyone.

Now I get fucked within an inch of my life every time I go.

It’s hell

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What has worked for us in the past, is not being joined at the hip in clubs/parties. Each of us is free to roam around, "scouting" as Miss puts it. If we find anyone that we'd like to play with, we make it clear that we play as a couple and if they're interested, we then introduce them to the OH. We think that sometimes couples can appear too "coupled up" maybe?

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By *bonynivoryCouple
over a year ago

market harborough

Great if that works for you, in most clubs in a couples evening the guy should be staying with his partner and not wandering around alone though.

However we are rarely apart other than loo visits, and not always then, and have no problem finding couples and singles to play with, just be a little proactive.

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By *amesB66Man
over a year ago

St Peter Port

Your profile is good, with great photos.

Your partner is a big man, but there are plenty that like muscle.

Perhaps try and pre arrange to meet some couples that you've chatted to in the forums, the next time you go clubbing.

They may help break the ice for you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the advice above above about being flirty is good. I’m very bad at reading signals when chatting in clubs so people really need to ask me/tell me they want to play. Perhaps others just didn’t read your subtle signals? You both look incredibly sexy on your profile and have some very hot pictures.

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds

The same advice that is often suggested to single guys is just as relevant to any gender or demographic.

Your profile text tells me very little

If you look at it from your prospective reader does it inform them.. your likes wants desires. Sell yourselves. Garner interest from the words and pictures make the reader want to meet you..

What are your expectations? Often suggested to guys.. same applies..You might need to manage them.. I know couples and ladies get lots of interest .. doesn't always mmean it's realistic

Meeting people out of clubs isn’t the problem it’s when we are in a club where they won’t be reading our profile!

Maybe we have to change our expectations then!! "

Ahhh..it was your last sentence that asked for profile advice or general advice ..

At clubs are you looking for singles m/f or couples.?

As a couple looking for a couple I can understand it's difficult you've four people that need to find each other attractive throw in personalities that have to gel.. double difficult..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Awesome thread guys... great advice

No one approaches us either tbh.... Think its our ink/look

Anyway we are adopting a more proactive method by talking to the muggles... fun so far

Great ink! Do you go the VA ever? You won't get a chance to be proactive,, lol. "

Lol thanks

We went to FOF and were impressed with the changes they have made in the club since our first, and only, visit.... It's on the list to revisit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love curvy women and the fact that mr is muscular wouldnt put me off at all. You enjoy what you do looking at the pics so I wouldnt worry. Perhaps you need to visit Chams near Walsall as theyre a great lot generally.

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By *aughtycp1Couple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

What a fantastic profile. I'm sure you would be popular at Liberty Elite. We love it there x

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

You have a nice photos - your photos are filthy but classy at the same time.

Personally I would be apprehensive as mr is bi. I tend to play with straight couples, and that is my preference, unless boundaries are discussed beforehand

Sometimes at clubs I play with 3 or 4 people during one evening sometimes I don’t play with anyone as I don’t either engage with many others or I am not what people are looking for

I would say it’s just part of the club life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow I think you’re both absolutely stunning and would be thrilled to run into you in a club. We’ve only been to one once and went with a couple and met another from here when we got there. Is this an option?

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By *bonynivoryCouple
over a year ago

market harborough

"Awesome thread guys... great advice

No one approaches us either tbh.... Think its our ink/look

Anyway we are adopting a more proactive method by talking to the muggles... fun so far

Great ink! Do you go the VA ever? You won't get a chance to be proactive,, lol.

Lol thanks

We went to FOF and were impressed with the changes they have made in the club since our first, and only, visit.... It's on the list to revisit

Now that's why you were familiar, so were we, not much playing then, too much partyimg and drinking, feel like we might have even spoken about your tattoos. Were you in the foam party?

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By *inathetartTV/TS
over a year ago

DERBY

I don't think your going wrong I think (like me)your getting greedy,lol. 43 reviews in 1 year is good going by some couples profiles on here.

i'm the same if i don't get to play at clubs i go home unhappy but my next trip i can have up to 10 plays,it's swings & roundabouts,its passing ships in the night,it's swinging,lol.

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @

Easiest way is for you the female to approach those who you want to play with. Have the conversation and if they like the look of you both then call Mr over. It's how me and Lexi work it as i believe it's less intimidating for any potential play.

Plus loads go out for a night out and don't really want to play or as you said they've already arranged to meet others there

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