FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swinging Support and Advice

Dating a non Fab

Jump to newest
 

By *wnaughty21 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Manchester

So... I have recently been on a few standard dates with a non fabber (or so I think). This guy is from my local area and is a pretty good match on most levels

We haven’t done anything sexual as yet and my question is....

Do I be myself and let the wild side loose or vanilla it down for him?

Don’t think I could hack a simple vanilla all the time but I also don’t want to

1) scare him off or

2) give him gossip for the locals to thrive on

HELPPPPP!!!!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always be Ur self is what I say

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iscean MaleMan
over a year ago

Darlaston

Get to know each other and slow start bring the subject up slowly.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *wnaughty21 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Manchester

I’m not bothered about 3rd parties so there’s no issue there it’s just the more kinky role play and bdsm stuff

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My advice is this. See if this has legs and put the swing world to one side while you do it. As for being yourself then yes absolutely be yourself but don't be a bull in a china shop. You never know he might match you in everyway but slowly catchy monkey....! Good luck xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *wnaughty21 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Manchester

Great advice! Love it thank you x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get to know him. If the sex(whenu get to it) is good and everything else start little things

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Great advice! Love it thank you x"

Remember not everyone is open about what they are into and many things are taboo in the mainstream/nilla world. Xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Believe it or not there is such a thing as sex that's so good you can't be bothered with swinging. So see if that's there first before you start making things more complex. Fingers crossed for you xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lanPartridgeMan
over a year ago

nottingham

I'd be thrilled if a woman did the slow reveal on such matters - and I'm not a swinger.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Believe it or not there is such a thing as sex that's so good you can't be bothered with swinging. So see if that's there first before you start making things more complex. Fingers crossed for you xx"

She has already said that she isn't worried about other people and its the Fetty stuff she is more concerned about, which is totally different.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *wnaughty21 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Manchester

swinging isn’t the issue. I’m not bothered about bringing others in. It’s the more kinkier stuff I don’t want to let go of x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *wnaughty21 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Manchester

Thanks x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Just be yourself, if you are not he will probably see through it and wonder what you are hiding and why.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"swinging isn’t the issue. I’m not bothered about bringing others in. It’s the more kinkier stuff I don’t want to let go of x"

Ah gotcha. Sorry I'd say stay vanilla to start but maybe confess to certain "fantasies" when the moment arises it's the softest way of introducing the issue

There is a chance he may not like your kinks. It is an acquired taste. I'm not sure I'd ever get off on hitting a woman for example. So you may need to decide how important it is to you when you get there. But I wouldn't force him into it. Either he likes it, in which case great, or he doesn't, in which case it's either him or the kink. Good luck xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *awtymarkyMan
over a year ago

chester


"So... I have recently been on a few standard dates with a non fabber (or so I think). This guy is from my local area and is a pretty good match on most levels

We haven’t done anything sexual as yet and my question is....

Do I be myself and let the wild side loose or vanilla it down for him?

Don’t think I could hack a simple vanilla all the time but I also don’t want to

1) scare him off or

2) give him gossip for the locals to thrive on

HELPPPPP!!!!!"

Well my advice is you should be very honest with them from the word go and be yourself. They have to approve of your passion for swinging.

If you don't say it now it could start effecting your future relationship as you might not be happy with a vanilla lifestyle as I know I wasn't and it's hard if the other person doesn't approve.

Best thing you can do is talk to them as an adult about you x if they don't except you for you then they aren't worth it or deserve you xx

Hope it helps

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Believe it or not there is such a thing as sex that's so good you can't be bothered with swinging. So see if that's there first before you start making things more complex. Fingers crossed for you xx"

i agree

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Believe it or not there is such a thing as sex that's so good you can't be bothered with swinging. So see if that's there first before you start making things more complex. Fingers crossed for you xx

She has already said that she isn't worried about other people and its the Fetty stuff she is more concerned about, which is totally different."

Disagree. if you are happy and content and the sex is great and some kinky shit can be done and some people i dated was more kinkier and into fet that people in the scene

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely you don’t have to be a swinger to like kinky stuff. We were into it decades before we started swinging.

Just go with the flow, don’t overthink- he may be as kinky as you or keen to explore!

Good luck

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *wnaughty21 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Manchester

Nope for me swinging isn’t my main kink. Soft bdsm, role play, voyeurism and lots of exploring limits.

I’m gonna just see how it goes. Let him lead and then discuss it when the opportunity arises

Thanks for the advice guys xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Surely you don’t have to be a swinger to like kinky stuff. We were into it decades before we started swinging.

Just go with the flow, don’t overthink- he may be as kinky as you or keen to explore!

Good luck "

iknow a few who arent into swing and into fet

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nope for me swinging isn’t my main kink. Soft bdsm, role play, voyeurism and lots of exploring limits.

I’m gonna just see how it goes. Let him lead and then discuss it when the opportunity arises

Thanks for the advice guys xx"

a good way

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My advice is this. See if this has legs and put the swing world to one side while you do it. As for being yourself then yes absolutely be yourself but don't be a bull in a china shop. You never know he might match you in everyway but slowly catchy monkey....! Good luck xx"

Perfect

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top