FabSwingers.com forum: Advice for 19 year old’s first visit to club?

By *8filthyv OP Man
over a year ago

Kent

Hi everyone, as the subject suggests I’m looking for advice and tips on how to make my first club visit a good one. Being 19 I don’t feel very comfortable in a social situation with many older and much more experienced swingers but I want to give it a go. Any advice is much appreciated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Relax, enjoy yourself and smile

You’ll get plenty of attention and lots of older ladies attempting to drag you off to play, which funnily seems acceptable behaviour in a club but if the ages were reversed wouldn’t be. Anyway just be confident and play with who you want to, don’t be put off if the attention is too much in your face, no means no, if the night doesn’t go as you wanted make sure you go again to see how it goes a second time, many a young guy has been put off by the older lady attention being in there face and never gone again xx

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

Take ID.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The attention from the older woman is the reason I keep going back...

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By *etLikeMan
over a year ago

most fundamental aspects

I think that if your approach is as open and respectful as your OP, then you shouldn’t have any trouble.

one thing not to do, is drink too much. It’s very easy to do without thinking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi everyone, as the subject suggests I’m looking for advice and tips on how to make my first club visit a good one. Being 19 I don’t feel very comfortable in a social situation with many older and much more experienced swingers but I want to give it a go. Any advice is much appreciated

At 19 I wouldn't class you as a swinger. I'd class you as a young lad who just wants to get a shag without paying for a whore.

Swinging is a lifestyle, get some pampas grass on your front lawn and they'll come flocking to you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The attention from the older woman is the reason I keep going back..."

It was couples behaviour that put me off even after the second time...hense why I won't meet couples here either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The attention from the older woman is the reason I keep going back...

It was couples behaviour that put me off even after the second time...hense why I won't meet couples here either."

How so please?

I've never been to a club so very interested to get a fell for what happens, good or bad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Take ID. "

If he takes his if he gonna be sent home clubs are mainly 21 and over

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go to the right club. In Manchester if you went to certain clubs you'd get nowhere, and others be overwhelmed. Never expect and be respectful. Good luck mate

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By *ettyboop61Woman
over a year ago

St Neots

At 19 I wouldn't class you as a swinger. I'd class you as a young lad who just wants to get a shag without paying for a whore.

Swinging is a lifestyle, get some pampas grass on your front lawn and they'll come flocking to you

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

If we are being honest it would be dont go.

You don’t have the experience to be in the scene yet.

Just our opinion though.

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By *ettyboop61Woman
over a year ago

St Neots

Get a proper gf....the trouble now with 19 year olds what do they know??? Anyway most clubs you have to.be 21 .....well I think it should be 25!!! Poor girls who don't swing when he has a real gf she won't do what he wants her to do cos hea been in a club! K feel sorry for any girl in the real world he picks up

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"The attention from the older woman is the reason I keep going back...

It was couples behaviour that put me off even after the second time...hense why I won't meet couples here either.

How so please?

I've never been to a club so very interested to get a fell for what happens, good or bad"

A lot of couples in clubs can be very aloof toward single guys; I’ve been deliberately blanked by some, but most will just say “We’re not interested in single guys thanks”, then look away. You do need a thick skin as a single guy in a club, be able to take rejection then move on to open dialogue with others (you will always be expected to talk first, seems to be an unwritten rule).

BUT! It does depend on who is in when you are; any club is only as good as it’s patrons

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

"Take ID.

If he takes his if he gonna be sent home clubs are mainly 21 and over "

Take fab age ID.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks for the reply _oiluvfun.

I'm at the early of getting an idea of what clubs are like, but it's not the first time I've heard this regarding single men, especially if you're not young / fit / attractive / hung.

Not really good news as I would be nervous and reserved, also not really thick skinned ... never been good at chatting anyone up in a pub/club

Unfortunately, I'm being advised that clubs/socials are my best option, as I'm not likely to make any headway on here no matter how much profile reading and polite messaging do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Go to the right club. In Manchester if you went to certain clubs you'd get nowhere, and others be overwhelmed. Never expect and be respectful. Good luck mate

Which are the good and bad clubs in Manc for an (older) single guy?

By the way OP, sorry to slightly hijack your thread, I was going to pose a similar question.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"Thanks for the reply _oiluvfun.

I'm at the early of getting an idea of what clubs are like, but it's not the first time I've heard this regarding single men, especially if you're not young / fit / attractive / hung.

Not really good news as I would be nervous and reserved, also not really thick skinned ... never been good at chatting anyone up in a pub/club

Unfortunately, I'm being advised that clubs/socials are my best option, as I'm not likely to make any headway on here no matter how much profile reading and polite messaging do.

I have far more success with private meets through Fab, with both couples and single females, but the club scene has been a steep learning curve for me, and I’ve done 8 visits as a single guy. I went to a social evening in my local town, but was warned off attending by friends as the event had gone public via Facebook! Unfortunately I only got the message as I sat down with my drink, so chose to sit back and watch as the staff sniggered and chuckled to themselves about the party at the big table, right in the middle of the pub! Put me off socials that night

Have a look at the ‘single guy over 40’ thread, where there’s a post from ‘Mrs Trellis’ with some excellent advice for single guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can't buy experience, it must be earned through practice

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By *utie91Woman
over a year ago

Hitchin

A lot of clubs are over 21’s only. So good luck. May be better to wait abit and figure out what you really want. I know it’s hard to meet people from here as a single guy, but you should try meeting people in real life as well, only with experience will you figure out what you are looking for, so you should do that for at least the next 2 years before you are able to go to some of the clubs

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By *witch4Fun24Couple
over a year ago

Leicester

Like a lot of other posters have said; check the age limit for the club before you go and if you do find one that allows under 21s be prepared to get asked your age a lot and have people come nowhere near you until you've become a regular and known face. I was 24 when first started going to clubs and female presenting but still had a lot of nervous looks and people approaching the management to check I was old enough to be there especially when I would go on my own. Swinging clubs are a place where looking young will work against you.

At 30 and under you are likely to be the age or younger than a fair amount of other club visitors' children or even grandchildren so don't be too surprised if you get snubbed until you have shown enough emotional and intellectual maturity to catch their eye.

For your own benefit do not act your age, swingers' clubs are not places to act immature and inexperienced as word of mouth counts for a lot and all of the regulars will know each other really well, especially the single ladies.

I would recommend you spend a few more years getting practise out in the real world so when you do hit the club scene you can be sure to a) please others b) not be a panda (eats, shoots and leaves) c) tone down the desperate vibe d) hold a good conversation with people twice your age on non-work related or sex related subjects. Or tattoos, so many people use women's tattoos as a way to start conversations it gets boring really quick.

In fact some single men of any age could stand to work on those to be honest.

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By *bonynivoryCouple
over a year ago

market harborough

"Take ID.

If he takes his if he gonna be sent home clubs are mainly 21 and over "

Exactly my thoughts, all the clubs I've been to are 21 and over. And strictly enforced for guys.

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

There are club's open to people aged 18+

Younger single guys are not in high demand, but attending club's will give you the chance to chat to others and find out more about the swinging community.

It's an easy way to get several verifications.

Main advise is to introduce yourself and ask if you can chat for a few minutes as you are there alone. Then people know you are not hoping for sex and takes the pressure off.

Relax and enjoy the social side of club's initially.

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

Check the minimum age requirement of the club before you turn up at the door, many clubs are 21+.

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By *ilkchocolate87Man
over a year ago

sw london

You’ll be fine. Guys will hit on you regardless of what you look like. You’re a female.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some of the responses seem a little lofty and patronising to be honest, as though attending swinging clubs requires sage wisdom and decades of experience. Just relax and don’t expect anything at all.

I’ve met plenty of older ignorant rude fools and young people who were mature beyond their years.

As long as the rules of the club are respected these clubs are for all respectful people to enjoy.

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By *isty286Couple
over a year ago

Dorset

That feeling of discomfort, multiply it by ten, and think seriously about going somewhere else for the night, unless you feel really ready to put yourself in that situation, don't do it, but good luck if you decide to try anyway.

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By *witch4Fun24Couple
over a year ago

Leicester

"You’ll be fine. Guys will hit on you regardless of what you look like. You’re a female."

No he isn't, look!

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Bring your mum with you for support, and a colouring book to keep you occupied while she has to go off for an “important little chat” with her new friend

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By *urryfannyfuntimeWoman
over a year ago

East Devon

Don't go. You're too young.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

one thing not to do is follow couples around like sheep hoping to have fun. If a couple interested in you I am sure they would let you know

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By *parkybunnyCouple
over a year ago

Zurich. NOT London.

Try Cougars and Cubs at Eureka. Parties where younger men are actively encouraged!

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By *8filthyv OP Man
over a year ago

Kent

Thanks for the advice guys

think it’s best if I give it a couple years as most clubs are 21+

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By *parkybunnyCouple
over a year ago

Zurich. NOT London.

"Thanks for the advice guys

think it’s best if I give it a couple years as most clubs are 21+ "

Eurekas is 18+

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By *etitesaraTV/TS
over a year ago

rochdale

Reading the replies, it strikes me that no matter who we are/how older are, if someone politely approaches you in a club then it costs nothing to chat for a few minutes.

As a TV in mainly straight clubs I've found most aren't interested in me sexually* but people are still nice enough to chat.

I'd like to think I'm the same.

*my local club is 'straight' but has a bar so I treat it as somewhere I can dress up, and have a drink and a dance in safety.

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By *aughty Little SecretsCouple
over a year ago

Wetherby

Poor darling

Go & play far too young for swinging xx

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By *aturally sexyCouple
over a year ago

watford

"Some of the responses seem a little lofty and patronising to be honest, as though attending swinging clubs requires sage wisdom and decades of experience. Just relax and don’t expect anything at all.

I’ve met plenty of older ignorant rude fools and young people who were mature beyond their years.

As long as the rules of the club are respected these clubs are for all respectful people to enjoy."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't exspect to shag all night!!!

Have a couple of drinks, but stay sober and sharp.. The worst thing you can do is be a d*unk!!!!!

Look, but don't touch!!!!

Chat and listen, but don't touch!!!

If you are invited to join, be respectful, listen, learn and enjoy the experience(s)

Mistress Amelia x

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

Check the age requirements before you go... some clubs are over 25s

Cal

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By *ettyboop61Woman
over a year ago

St Neots

"Poor darling

Go & play far too young for swinging xx"

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