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Rejection is not nice But ...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Rejection is not nice But no need to get verbally abusive.

No reply means not interested.

I respond with a polite "thank you but not interested Good luck" message.

9 times out of 10 I get polite answers back or none which is totally fine.

But the ones that get verbally abusive I don't get.

I have started reporting the profiles who get nasty.

Is there a consequence for them??

Or nothing happens.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Rejection is not nice But no need to get verbally abusive.

No reply means not interested.

I respond with a polite "thank you but not interested Good luck" message.

9 times out of 10 I get polite answers back or none which is totally fine.

But the ones that get verbally abusive I don't get.

I have started reporting the profiles who get nasty.

Is there a consequence for them??

Or nothing happens.

"

For them it's an ego thing, they can't take rejection most likely in most situations, they will always try and abuse just to make themselves feel better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Rejection is not nice But no need to get verbally abusive.

No reply means not interested.

I respond with a polite "thank you but not interested Good luck" message.

9 times out of 10 I get polite answers back or none which is totally fine.

But the ones that get verbally abusive I don't get.

I have started reporting the profiles who get nasty.

Is there a consequence for them??

Or nothing happens.

"
speaking as a single guy, I will take a thanks but no thanks, I never feel the need to get abusive, it's just part of the game, I will usually reply with a thanks no problem and that is the end of it.

Those that get abusive should be reported, they will either get a temporary ban or possibly kicked off if they are repeat offenders

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Rejection is not nice But no need to get verbally abusive.

No reply means not interested.

I respond with a polite "thank you but not interested Good luck" message.

9 times out of 10 I get polite answers back or none which is totally fine.

But the ones that get verbally abusive I don't get.

I have started reporting the profiles who get nasty.

Is there a consequence for them??

Or nothing happens.

speaking as a single guy, I will take a thanks but no thanks, I never feel the need to get abusive, it's just part of the game, I will usually reply with a thanks no problem and that is the end of it.

Those that get abusive should be reported, they will either get a temporary ban or possibly kicked off if they are repeat offenders"

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

I don’t know if the heatwave is getting the blood flowing on to the wrong head but I am facing the same lately. I’ve enjoyed quite a few months on Fab now, and just like you, I am very polite when stating that I am not interested. However, in the last couple of weeks I’ve been given all sorts of abuse, being called a timewaster, a prick teaser, or I get harrassed to explain in detail why I won’t go running to them or wait for them here, legs akimbo, ready for them to shoot, after reading their “fancy sum fun hun xxxxxxxxxx” message.

Getting abuse for actually having standards and not fucking everyone who asks (I’d be VERY busy! ) ah well...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I don’t know if the heatwave is getting the blood flowing on to the wrong head but I am facing the same lately. I’ve enjoyed quite a few months on Fab now, and just like you, I am very polite when stating that I am not interested. However, in the last couple of weeks I’ve been given all sorts of abuse, being called a timewaster, a prick teaser, or I get harrassed to explain in detail why I won’t go running to them or wait for them here, legs akimbo, ready for them to shoot, after reading their “fancy sum fun hun xxxxxxxxxx” message.

Getting abuse for actually having standards and not fucking everyone who asks (I’d be VERY busy! ) ah well... "

There be a queue to Dublin and back if I said yes to every "want to fuck your pussy" message

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Rejection is not nice But no need to get verbally abusive.

No reply means not interested.

I respond with a polite "thank you but not interested Good luck" message.

9 times out of 10 I get polite answers back or none which is totally fine.

But the ones that get verbally abusive I don't get.

I have started reporting the profiles who get nasty.

Is there a consequence for them??

Or nothing happens.

"
Some are excommunicated

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Rejection is not nice But no need to get verbally abusive.

No reply means not interested.

I respond with a polite "thank you but not interested Good luck" message.

9 times out of 10 I get polite answers back or none which is totally fine.

But the ones that get verbally abusive I don't get.

I have started reporting the profiles who get nasty.

Is there a consequence for them??

Or nothing happens.

Some are excommunicated "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m so with you.

Most men wouldn’t stand an abuse a woman in the street if she politely rejected him, yet they feel brave enough to do so behind their phones.

Rejection is a thing of life, we will all be rejected at some point whether it be a job, sex, relationship etc. There is never any need to get abusive or nasty, all it does is prove you were right to reject them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always send a polite *no thanks* and 9 out of 10 will receive a polite thank you back.

It's the 1% that cannot handle the rejection.

That s when I delete and block and move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve found that sometimes it softens the blow if you give that person a compliment before you reject them. Something along the lines of “you’re very attractive, but not quite what I’m looking for” usually goes down okay because you’re not bruising her/his ego (even if it’s a little white lie)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We reply with a thanks but no thanks and then block, so avoiding any further ‘ why not ‘ messages

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By *oodgirlbadboyCouple
over a year ago

birmingham

And we thought we were the only ones getting these messages,, just because we don’t want to meet someone for one reason or another or it’s we want to but can’t on that day the replies we receive only go to prove to us we were right in not agreeing to meet,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does anyone also receive angry messages when you haven’t replied to someone fast enough?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve found that sometimes it softens the blow if you give that person a compliment before you reject them. Something along the lines of “you’re very attractive, but not quite what I’m looking for” usually goes down okay because you’re not bruising her/his ego (even if it’s a little white lie)"

You shouldn’t have to compliment someone you’re rejecting in order to stop them abusing you.

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By *heDesiCandiTV/TS
over a year ago

Leicester

I don’t reply if I am not interested and delete the message. If they get abusive, it makes great comedy because then I know I made the right decision.

A common insult seems to be that there are better looking TVs/cds etc. which makes me laugh - why are you lowering your standards with me then! Plus, we know that there are better men out there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only reject the hot ones so they know what it feels like for us peasants

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve found that sometimes it softens the blow if you give that person a compliment before you reject them. Something along the lines of “you’re very attractive, but not quite what I’m looking for” usually goes down okay because you’re not bruising her/his ego (even if it’s a little white lie)"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Rejection is not nice But no need to get verbally abusive.

No reply means not interested.

I respond with a polite "thank you but not interested Good luck" message.

9 times out of 10 I get polite answers back or none which is totally fine.

But the ones that get verbally abusive I don't get.

I have started reporting the profiles who get nasty.

Is there a consequence for them??

Or nothing happens.

speaking as a single guy, I will take a thanks but no thanks, I never feel the need to get abusive, it's just part of the game, I will usually reply with a thanks no problem and that is the end of it.

Those that get abusive should be reported, they will either get a temporary ban or possibly kicked off if they are repeat offenders"

Report the abusive ones OP. Admin sort it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sexual frustration is most likely the reason for this response. The sexual frustration is however caused by the fact these people cant communicate, don't understand basic courtesy and have issues interacting. They can't talk to a woman or maybe chat her up and ask her out in a public setting.

There are sooooo many on here that are like it unfortunately.

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By *ottie_84Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

I had a guy call me a slag because I said no thank you to him & he wasn’t my type

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Rejection is not nice But no need to get verbally abusive.

No reply means not interested.

I respond with a polite "thank you but not interested Good luck" message.

9 times out of 10 I get polite answers back or none which is totally fine.

But the ones that get verbally abusive I don't get.

I have started reporting the profiles who get nasty.

Is there a consequence for them??

Or nothing happens.

speaking as a single guy, I will take a thanks but no thanks, I never feel the need to get abusive, it's just part of the game, I will usually reply with a thanks no problem and that is the end of it.

Those that get abusive should be reported, they will either get a temporary ban or possibly kicked off if they are repeat offenders

Report the abusive ones OP. Admin sort it. "

I do.

I am just wondering is anything done about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I always send a polite *no thanks* and 9 out of 10 will receive a polite thank you back.

It's the 1% that cannot handle the rejection.

That s when I delete and block and move on.

"
me to

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By *aura66Woman
over a year ago

Belfast


"I had a guy call me a slag because I said no thank you to him & he wasn’t my type "

I had the same. Called me a slag for being on the site, after I turned him down.

He couldn’t quite see the irony of his situation or indeed the ladies he had met who are also on the site....

Just confirmed my initial instinct was correct....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it’s also an internet thing. People on online fora/communications are so quick to go on the offensive and become confrontational when they would not necessarily behave that way in a physical one to one situation. It’s strange and can make all sorts of online communications unpleasant.

Unfortunately, although the site is ostensibly a swinging site, a vast number of people have had no contact at all with that type of lifestyle and do just use it like Amazon for sex. So they don’t really equate the profiles with real human beings.

Rather than accepting that, just as in any bar, club etc, people will have different preferences and you have to make a connection of some sort, it is just a game for them with this thirsty and desperate striving goal for sex as an outcome.

They don’t get that the experience will be sooooo much better anyway if they find someone where there is a mutual attraction...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Rejection is not nice But no need to get verbally abusive.

No reply means not interested.

I respond with a polite "thank you but not interested Good luck" message.

9 times out of 10 I get polite answers back or none which is totally fine.

But the ones that get verbally abusive I don't get.

I have started reporting the profiles who get nasty.

Is there a consequence for them??

Or nothing happens.

speaking as a single guy, I will take a thanks but no thanks, I never feel the need to get abusive, it's just part of the game, I will usually reply with a thanks no problem and that is the end of it.

Those that get abusive should be reported, they will either get a temporary ban or possibly kicked off if they are repeat offenders

Report the abusive ones OP. Admin sort it.

I do.

I am just wondering is anything done about it.

"

Yes they do. I think it depends on how bad the abuse is. I know some people have been kicked off the site for really bad stuff.

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By *exyspecs and supermanCouple
over a year ago

A house, a very big house in the country


"Rejection is not nice But no need to get verbally abusive.

No reply means not interested.

I respond with a polite "thank you but not interested Good luck" message.

9 times out of 10 I get polite answers back or none which is totally fine.

But the ones that get verbally abusive I don't get.

I have started reporting the profiles who get nasty.

Is there a consequence for them??

Or nothing happens.

For them it's an ego thing, they can't take rejection most likely in most situations, they will always try and abuse just to make themselves feel better "

This... Unfortunately there's a certain breed of person (I say person because it's not just men that can be this way)

In my experience it's best not to add fuel to the fire, they get off on it.

Best just to report and block.

Ss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it’s also an internet thing. People on online fora/communications are so quick to go on the offensive and become confrontational when they would not necessarily behave that way in a physical one to one situation. It’s strange and can make all sorts of online communications unpleasant.

Unfortunately, although the site is ostensibly a swinging site, a vast number of people have had no contact at all with that type of lifestyle and do just use it like Amazon for sex. So they don’t really equate the profiles with real human beings.

Rather than accepting that, just as in any bar, club etc, people will have different preferences and you have to make a connection of some sort, it is just a game for them with this thirsty and desperate striving goal for sex as an outcome.

They don’t get that the experience will be sooooo much better anyway if they find someone where there is a mutual attraction...

"

I think you're right about the Amazon thing- that's why abuse doesn't really 'register' with me. It's not personal. They don't know me. They're just irate that they won't get their dick wet.

They don't see me behind the profile as a human being so their abusive words mean nothing to me.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Just waiting for the "Why aren't my messages replied to?" thread..... No need to start one you have the answers right here!

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By *woyoungbunsCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Without fail this is always the guys who contact us being really dommy or subby off the bat. If they aren't able to distance themselves a bit and interact normally then it's not going to go well.

The worst thing is there are people who actively encourage behaving like this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Without fail this is always the guys who contact us being really dommy or subby off the bat. If they aren't able to distance themselves a bit and interact normally then it's not going to go well.

The worst thing is there are people who actively encourage behaving like this "

What do you mean they actively encourage that behaviour? In what way?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just used to block after a polite no thanks message so there is no comeback. Unfortunately there are some sad people on here.

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By *inkswithpanCouple
over a year ago

lough

Everyone gets rejected at some point in life, especially on here.

We have just been called a time waster because we politely declined a single guy by saying “no thanks but happy fabbing”

We then received a barrage of how we think we are better than everyone else, we’re stuck up, horrible people. Water off a ducks back, although we did tell them to grow up. hate to say it’s the young 20 something generation, they think the world owes them something.

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By *woyoungbunsCouple
over a year ago

Bristol


"What do you mean they actively encourage that behaviour? In what way?"

There are people who say you have to adopt a sort of hyper-aggressive personality in order to get laid.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Everyone gets rejected at some point in life, especially on here.

We have just been called a time waster because we politely declined a single guy by saying “no thanks but happy fabbing”

We then received a barrage of how we think we are better than everyone else, we’re stuck up, horrible people. Water off a ducks back, although we did tell them to grow up. hate to say it’s the young 20 something generation, they think the world owes them something.

"

I get it from all ages, to be honest.

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By *inkswithpanCouple
over a year ago

lough


"Everyone gets rejected at some point in life, especially on here.

We have just been called a time waster because we politely declined a single guy by saying “no thanks but happy fabbing”

We then received a barrage of how we think we are better than everyone else, we’re stuck up, horrible people. Water off a ducks back, although we did tell them to grow up. hate to say it’s the young 20 something generation, they think the world owes them something.

I get it from all ages, to be honest. "

It must just be our bad luck then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Everyone gets rejected at some point in life, especially on here.

We have just been called a time waster because we politely declined a single guy by saying “no thanks but happy fabbing”

We then received a barrage of how we think we are better than everyone else, we’re stuck up, horrible people. Water off a ducks back, although we did tell them to grow up. hate to say it’s the young 20 something generation, they think the world owes them something.

"

My experience is the complete opposite. My age limit is 35+ and the abuse has come from men obviously in that age range, so it’s not just 20 something’s.

There are abusive people of all ages. Obviously the older guys who have sent me abuse think the world owes them something too.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

Just give it them back twice as bad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just give it them back twice as bad."
sarcasm..... Ok

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By *inkswithpanCouple
over a year ago

lough


"Everyone gets rejected at some point in life, especially on here.

We have just been called a time waster because we politely declined a single guy by saying “no thanks but happy fabbing”

We then received a barrage of how we think we are better than everyone else, we’re stuck up, horrible people. Water off a ducks back, although we did tell them to grow up. hate to say it’s the young 20 something generation, they think the world owes them something.

My experience is the complete opposite. My age limit is 35+ and the abuse has come from men obviously in that age range, so it’s not just 20 something’s.

There are abusive people of all ages. Obviously the older guys who have sent me abuse think the world owes them something too. "

Thankfully we are yet to experience rejection like we did from the plus 35 section

Sure it will come though xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This site is to add a bit of fun for us. We dont tske it seriously. It doesnt rule our lives. We have had couples be abusive we have politely said no thank you. And also abusive if we havent replied at all. We never do that. If we get a no or an ignore we dont really care xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I don't get the logic.

Do they think by becoming abusive it will make me change my mind??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This site is to add a bit of fun for us. We dont tske it seriously. It doesnt rule our lives. We have had couples be abusive we have politely said no thank you. And also abusive if we havent replied at all. We never do that. If we get a no or an ignore we dont really care xx"

I bet you it's rarely the female half of a couple who becomes abusive, speaking as a man, an awful lot of us are arseholes

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I don't get the logic.

Do they think by becoming abusive it will make me change my mind??

"

I think it's one of two things. Rejection hurts, so they want to hurt you back.

Or, sometimes, yes. Make you cower into submission. The cave man approach to getting women by bashing them over the head hasn't evolved to the letter yet, let alone the Internet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Does anyone also receive angry messages when you haven’t replied to someone fast enough?"

Thisvalot

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By *ob198XaMan
over a year ago

teleford

Tell me about it, I always have this problem too. Every time I turn down a girl on here I am bombarded with harassment.

Seriously though, there is no need for ill behaviour, I fully respect a polite "sorry you are not quite what I am looking for" response, I at least appreciate that they have gone to the effort of responding.

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By *adcat1961Woman
over a year ago

colchester


"I’ve found that sometimes it softens the blow if you give that person a compliment before you reject them. Something along the lines of “you’re very attractive, but not quite what I’m looking for” usually goes down okay because you’re not bruising her/his ego (even if it’s a little white lie)"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

See this is what I don’t understand, getting ratty over a rejection.

Deal with it. You are not the persons type, they have been polite about saying no thanks. Not for me.

And then the abuse starts, i’d Fear for a women’s safety if they were told no thanks in person.

Report and block and that’s the end of that ignorant shite

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one like being rejected but I always appreciate when I women replies saying no thanks. Infact I wish more would say it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People should learn it's not rejection .

If your not someone's type or there not yours then it's a no thanks !!

Do they expect you to let them have fun with you . Let them into your personal space ..when you don't fancy them .

Just block them and move on .you wouldn't entertain them in a pub or club with that attitude so don't entertain them here...

Once you've said your polite no thankyou hitthe block button

That'll learn em

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't get the logic.

Do they think by becoming abusive it will make me change my mind??

I think it's one of two things. Rejection hurts, so they want to hurt you back.

Or, sometimes, yes. Make you cower into submission. The cave man approach to getting women by bashing them over the head hasn't evolved to the letter yet, let alone the Internet. "

The caveman theory makes a lot of sense.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m so with you.

Most men wouldn’t stand an abuse a woman in the street if she politely rejected him, yet they feel brave enough to do so behind their phones.

Rejection is a thing of life, we will all be rejected at some point whether it be a job, sex, relationship etc. There is never any need to get abusive or nasty, all it does is prove you were right to reject them. "

Perfectly put....just confirms you were right to reject them in the first place...

I wonder if one has ever worked...

‘what, I’m now a whore for me rejecting you...well since you called me that, of course I’ll sleep with you, kind Sir....’

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’m so with you.

Most men wouldn’t stand an abuse a woman in the street if she politely rejected him, yet they feel brave enough to do so behind their phones.

Rejection is a thing of life, we will all be rejected at some point whether it be a job, sex, relationship etc. There is never any need to get abusive or nasty, all it does is prove you were right to reject them.

Perfectly put....just confirms you were right to reject them in the first place...

I wonder if one has ever worked...

‘what, I’m now a whore for me rejecting you...well since you called me that, of course I’ll sleep with you, kind Sir....’ "

No don't think ... I would be very surprised...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i get Reject all the time but that life you have good one and bad ones so i just go with the flow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We try and be nice and say something like sorry notfor us but today got a return mail asking why . Might have to rethink our future replies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We reply to all messages always,sent many never to get replies which is just rudeness,a polite not for us would suffice followed by a good luck from us

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By *adyLucknGamblersCouple
over a year ago

Harwich / Colchester

We've currently getting the same thing from another couple profile - just because we didn't reply to their liking to a random weird out of the blue message - then slander us on their own profile that we are fake. Whilst in comparison we've been verified over 40 times to their 2 lol

Just crazy

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

It is crazy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We try and be nice and say something like sorry notfor us but today got a return mail asking why . Might have to rethink our future replies "

You see if someone said that to me I wouldn't question it as it doesn't change a thing and means the person doesn't fancy me. I'd block after a polite no, no comeback then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We've currently getting the same thing from another couple profile - just because we didn't reply to their liking to a random weird out of the blue message - then slander us on their own profile that we are fake. Whilst in comparison we've been verified over 40 times to their 2 lol

Just crazy "

People like that are just bitter and pathetic. If ever I see a status slagging a user off or brandishing them a time waster I just and think oh dear, someone can't take rejection! Then I block them, I've no time for negativity or conflict.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's nice to get a message back either way but since most people spend so much time online these day's common courtesies are being lost.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's nice to get a message back either way but since most people spend so much time online these day's common courtesies are being lost. "

There are 2 main reasons people don't reply; they have way to many messages to reply to all or they have had abuse in the past and let's face it, no one wants that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's nice to get a message back either way but since most people spend so much time online these day's common courtesies are being lost.

There are 2 main reasons people don't reply; they have way to many messages to reply to all or they have had abuse in the past and let's face it, no one wants that."

And I'll add, I don't reply as it breaks the message filters I often re apply to my account.

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By *heDesiCandiTV/TS
over a year ago

Leicester

Forgot to say - as a cd, there are guys I fancy but they are straight or not into me. They either say so or delete the message - all one can wish for is that god (if one exists) blesses them

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By *tatMan
over a year ago

Horrabridge


"It's nice to get a message back either way but since most people spend so much time online these day's common courtesies are being lost.

There are 2 main reasons people don't reply; they have way to many messages to reply to all or they have had abuse in the past and let's face it, no one wants that.

And I'll add, I don't reply as it breaks the message filters I often re apply to my account."

I understand that women in particular get flooded by messages of all sorts but, as I am always polite in my messages, I find it offensive not to receive a reply as it is a lack of common courtesy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's nice to get a message back either way but since most people spend so much time online these day's common courtesies are being lost.

There are 2 main reasons people don't reply; they have way to many messages to reply to all or they have had abuse in the past and let's face it, no one wants that.

And I'll add, I don't reply as it breaks the message filters I often re apply to my account.

I understand that women in particular get flooded by messages of all sorts but, as I am always polite in my messages, I find it offensive not to receive a reply as it is a lack of common courtesy."

Feeling you are entitled to a reply is a lack of courtesy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's nice to get a message back either way but since most people spend so much time online these day's common courtesies are being lost.

There are 2 main reasons people don't reply; they have way to many messages to reply to all or they have had abuse in the past and let's face it, no one wants that.

And I'll add, I don't reply as it breaks the message filters I often re apply to my account.

I understand that women in particular get flooded by messages of all sorts but, as I am always polite in my messages, I find it offensive not to receive a reply as it is a lack of common courtesy."

No it isn't, even the site faq's advise it's not. I used to reply to all my messages and before I became a site supporter, would regularly run out of messages for the day so couldn't chat to people I was interested in. I often got constantly pestered asking why I wasn't interested and them trying to change my mind. I also got pathetic abuse. No one needs that. This site is supposed to be fun, it's not fun if you get crap like that so instead of saying people have no manners or common courtesy, let's look at the ones who feel it's OK to be abusive at a polite no thanks. It's undoubtedly them who contribute to the no reply culture on here.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It's nice to get a message back either way but since most people spend so much time online these day's common courtesies are being lost.

There are 2 main reasons people don't reply; they have way to many messages to reply to all or they have had abuse in the past and let's face it, no one wants that.

And I'll add, I don't reply as it breaks the message filters I often re apply to my account.

I understand that women in particular get flooded by messages of all sorts but, as I am always polite in my messages, I find it offensive not to receive a reply as it is a lack of common courtesy.

No it isn't, even the site faq's advise it's not. I used to reply to all my messages and before I became a site supporter, would regularly run out of messages for the day so couldn't chat to people I was interested in. I often got constantly pestered asking why I wasn't interested and them trying to change my mind. I also got pathetic abuse. No one needs that. This site is supposed to be fun, it's not fun if you get crap like that so instead of saying people have no manners or common courtesy, let's look at the ones who feel it's OK to be abusive at a polite no thanks. It's undoubtedly them who contribute to the no reply culture on here. "

Totally agree.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's nice to get a message back either way but since most people spend so much time online these day's common courtesies are being lost.

There are 2 main reasons people don't reply; they have way to many messages to reply to all or they have had abuse in the past and let's face it, no one wants that.

And I'll add, I don't reply as it breaks the message filters I often re apply to my account.

I understand that women in particular get flooded by messages of all sorts but, as I am always polite in my messages, I find it offensive not to receive a reply as it is a lack of common courtesy.

Feeling you are entitled to a reply is a lack of courtesy"

It is not lack of common courtesy nor is it rude.

What’s rude is thinking you are somehow entitled to a reply just because you sent a “polite” message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's nice to get a message back either way but since most people spend so much time online these day's common courtesies are being lost.

There are 2 main reasons people don't reply; they have way to many messages to reply to all or they have had abuse in the past and let's face it, no one wants that.

And I'll add, I don't reply as it breaks the message filters I often re apply to my account.

I understand that women in particular get flooded by messages of all sorts but, as I am always polite in my messages, I find it offensive not to receive a reply as it is a lack of common courtesy.

No it isn't, even the site faq's advise it's not. I used to reply to all my messages and before I became a site supporter, would regularly run out of messages for the day so couldn't chat to people I was interested in. I often got constantly pestered asking why I wasn't interested and them trying to change my mind. I also got pathetic abuse. No one needs that. This site is supposed to be fun, it's not fun if you get crap like that so instead of saying people have no manners or common courtesy, let's look at the ones who feel it's OK to be abusive at a polite no thanks. It's undoubtedly them who contribute to the no reply culture on here. "

Absolutely.

Is also challenge any man who finds it “rude” to not reply to sit next to a woman or get a woman to make a profile on here and see how many messages she gets in one day.

In my opinion they find it rude because there are entitled and expect a reply.

Like someone said on various other threads we get junk mail daily whether it be via post email or text, do we reply “no thanks” to all the unsolicited junk mail we get? Nope. Is it rude? Nope.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not a feeling of 'entitlement ' at all. If you get a nasty message then rightly treat it with the contempt it deserves but if someone sends you a genuine message( hard to tell) I know then where's the harm. Going by the attitudes of some people on here then for example next time you go into a shop don't say please or thanks because its what the person's paid to do is serve you. Manners cost nothing even if the other person is a total ass.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not a feeling of 'entitlement ' at all. If you get a nasty message then rightly treat it with the contempt it deserves but if someone sends you a genuine message( hard to tell) I know then where's the harm. Going by the attitudes of some people on here then for example next time you go into a shop don't say please or thanks because its what the person's paid to do is serve you. Manners cost nothing even if the other person is a total ass. "

But what we're saying here is sometimes you can get a genuinely nice message, not be interested and reply politely saying this then get abuse back. I message guys first a lot and I couldn't give a flying fuck if they don't reply. I delete the sent message as soon as I've sent it and forget about it. Life really is too short to worry about such trivial stuff. This site is just a bit of fun never to be taken seriously. So you didn't get a reply, it's not like someone's shat through your letterbox now is it??!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not a feeling of 'entitlement ' at all. If you get a nasty message then rightly treat it with the contempt it deserves but if someone sends you a genuine message( hard to tell) I know then where's the harm. Going by the attitudes of some people on here then for example next time you go into a shop don't say please or thanks because its what the person's paid to do is serve you. Manners cost nothing even if the other person is a total ass. "

If I walk into a shop and buy something I have made an active choice to engage with someone.

When you force a message on someone and expect a response that is down right rap-ey. I run a mile from men who demand a response because where does their mentality stop? When they're forcing their dick in me?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not a feeling of 'entitlement ' at all. If you get a nasty message then rightly treat it with the contempt it deserves but if someone sends you a genuine message( hard to tell) I know then where's the harm. Going by the attitudes of some people on here then for example next time you go into a shop don't say please or thanks because its what the person's paid to do is serve you. Manners cost nothing even if the other person is a total ass.

If I walk into a shop and buy something I have made an active choice to engage with someone.

When you force a message on someone and expect a response that is down right rap-ey. I run a mile from men who demand a response because where does their mentality stop? When they're forcing their dick in me?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We've currently getting the same thing from another couple profile - just because we didn't reply to their liking to a random weird out of the blue message - then slander us on their own profile that we are fake. Whilst in comparison we've been verified over 40 times to their 2 lol

Just crazy "

Report the profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not a feeling of 'entitlement ' at all. If you get a nasty message then rightly treat it with the contempt it deserves but if someone sends you a genuine message( hard to tell) I know then where's the harm. Going by the attitudes of some people on here then for example next time you go into a shop don't say please or thanks because its what the person's paid to do is serve you. Manners cost nothing even if the other person is a total ass.

If I walk into a shop and buy something I have made an active choice to engage with someone.

When you force a message on someone and expect a response that is down right rap-ey. I run a mile from men who demand a response because where does their mentality stop? When they're forcing their dick in me?"

I think the shop analogy is bad here but even better

I think there's a middle ground here where you can just automatically send a reply that says sorry no thanks/not interested or just put' if i delete its because i'm not interested' in your profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not a feeling of 'entitlement ' at all. If you get a nasty message then rightly treat it with the contempt it deserves but if someone sends you a genuine message( hard to tell) I know then where's the harm. Going by the attitudes of some people on here then for example next time you go into a shop don't say please or thanks because its what the person's paid to do is serve you. Manners cost nothing even if the other person is a total ass.

If I walk into a shop and buy something I have made an active choice to engage with someone.

When you force a message on someone and expect a response that is down right rap-ey. I run a mile from men who demand a response because where does their mentality stop? When they're forcing their dick in me?"

I actually can’t believe it’s so hard for people to understand.

It IS entitlement if you expect a reply just because you sent a message.

When I give someone a gift I do it because I want to, I don’t do it because I expect one back. That is entitlement, which it seems a lot on here have.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not a feeling of 'entitlement ' at all. If you get a nasty message then rightly treat it with the contempt it deserves but if someone sends you a genuine message( hard to tell) I know then where's the harm. Going by the attitudes of some people on here then for example next time you go into a shop don't say please or thanks because its what the person's paid to do is serve you. Manners cost nothing even if the other person is a total ass.

If I walk into a shop and buy something I have made an active choice to engage with someone.

When you force a message on someone and expect a response that is down right rap-ey. I run a mile from men who demand a response because where does their mentality stop? When they're forcing their dick in me?

I actually can’t believe it’s so hard for people to understand.

It IS entitlement if you expect a reply just because you sent a message.

When I give someone a gift I do it because I want to, I don’t do it because I expect one back. That is entitlement, which it seems a lot on here have. "

Totally agree. You are not entitled. Why is that so hard for you to understand? Funny how women never complain about the lack of response from men. It's always the men.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not a feeling of 'entitlement ' at all. If you get a nasty message then rightly treat it with the contempt it deserves but if someone sends you a genuine message( hard to tell) I know then where's the harm. Going by the attitudes of some people on here then for example next time you go into a shop don't say please or thanks because its what the person's paid to do is serve you. Manners cost nothing even if the other person is a total ass.

If I walk into a shop and buy something I have made an active choice to engage with someone.

When you force a message on someone and expect a response that is down right rap-ey. I run a mile from men who demand a response because where does their mentality stop? When they're forcing their dick in me?

I think the shop analogy is bad here but even better

I think there's a middle ground here where you can just automatically send a reply that says sorry no thanks/not interested or just put' if i delete its because i'm not interested' in your profile."

I have exactly that on my profile.

It doesn’t stop me getting abuse when I delete a message even when I’ve stated it means I’m not interested, it also doesn’t stop the desperate guys who can’t take no for an answer from emailing me several times until I block them.

I could write it on my profile 60 times, it won’t stop a nasty person being a nasty person.

Maybe we should focus on the abusive & rude people who are using the site in the wrong way and not those of us who have been polite and have a note on our profile to state why we delete.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rejection is not nice thing when your soft heart and sensitive person but i think most have never learn manners in there life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not a feeling of 'entitlement ' at all. If you get a nasty message then rightly treat it with the contempt it deserves but if someone sends you a genuine message( hard to tell) I know then where's the harm. Going by the attitudes of some people on here then for example next time you go into a shop don't say please or thanks because its what the person's paid to do is serve you. Manners cost nothing even if the other person is a total ass.

If I walk into a shop and buy something I have made an active choice to engage with someone.

When you force a message on someone and expect a response that is down right rap-ey. I run a mile from men who demand a response because where does their mentality stop? When they're forcing their dick in me?

I actually can’t believe it’s so hard for people to understand.

It IS entitlement if you expect a reply just because you sent a message.

When I give someone a gift I do it because I want to, I don’t do it because I expect one back. That is entitlement, which it seems a lot on here have.

Totally agree. You are not entitled. Why is that so hard for you to understand? Funny how women never complain about the lack of response from men. It's always the men."

The entitled person has now gone to UNLOS, no doubt thrown their toys out their pram because they didn’t get the response the wanted. Again, entitlement.

What I find funny is that we women are called rude for not replying and deleting, yet how many men talkon here about getting messages from other men and they simply delete and block without reply? Why isn’t that just as rude? The double standards!

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Admin review and evaluate all reports of inappropriate behavior, taking the action that they see is correct. They will not comment upon their steps, nor systems in place to improve site control. As a free site, the action of users to help to improve it is a major part of keeping it working better and at lower cost.

If unsure, report - giving the details and uncertainty

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"People should learn it's not rejection .

If your not someone's type or there not yours then it's a no thanks !!

Do they expect you to let them have fun with you . Let them into your personal space ..when you don't fancy them .

Just block them and move on .you wouldn't entertain them in a pub or club with that attitude so don't entertain them here...

Once you've said your polite no thankyou hitthe block button

That'll learn em

"

‘Teach’

Yep it’s not rejection, it’s your not my type kind of thing.

I get ‘it’s a sex sit ffs’ - erm like I’m desperate which I’m so not!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Rejection is not nice But no need to get verbally abusive.

No reply means not interested.

I respond with a polite "thank you but not interested Good luck" message.

9 times out of 10 I get polite answers back or none which is totally fine.

But the ones that get verbally abusive I don't get.

I have started reporting the profiles who get nasty.

Is there a consequence for them??

Or nothing happens.

"

On here I don’t always say no thanks. Depends on the message.

On dates I prefer being told I’m not their type rather than being lead astray.

Good for you though. No one should have to put up with abusive messages

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Not a feeling of 'entitlement ' at all. If you get a nasty message then rightly treat it with the contempt it deserves but if someone sends you a genuine message( hard to tell) I know then where's the harm. Going by the attitudes of some people on here then for example next time you go into a shop don't say please or thanks because its what the person's paid to do is serve you. Manners cost nothing even if the other person is a total ass.

If I walk into a shop and buy something I have made an active choice to engage with someone.

When you force a message on someone and expect a response that is down right rap-ey. I run a mile from men who demand a response because where does their mentality stop? When they're forcing their dick in me?

I actually can’t believe it’s so hard for people to understand.

It IS entitlement if you expect a reply just because you sent a message.

When I give someone a gift I do it because I want to, I don’t do it because I expect one back. That is entitlement, which it seems a lot on here have.

Totally agree. You are not entitled. Why is that so hard for you to understand? Funny how women never complain about the lack of response from men. It's always the men.

The entitled person has now gone to UNLOS, no doubt thrown their toys out their pram because they didn’t get the response the wanted. Again, entitlement.

What I find funny is that we women are called rude for not replying and deleting, yet how many men talkon here about getting messages from other men and they simply delete and block without reply? Why isn’t that just as rude? The double standards! "

That made me laugh ha ha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some guys just dont understand how to accept it granted its an ego hit but i dont see the point in getting too upset about something you have 0 control over

But theres always idiots who cant handle loosing and untill they learn from loosing they will never be winners

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Some guys just dont understand how to accept it granted its an ego hit but i dont see the point in getting too upset about something you have 0 control over

But theres always idiots who cant handle loosing and untill they learn from loosing they will never be winners"

Very true

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"Everyone gets rejected at some point in life, especially on here.

We have just been called a time waster because we politely declined a single guy by saying “no thanks but happy fabbing”

We then received a barrage of how we think we are better than everyone else, we’re stuck up, horrible people. Water off a ducks back, although we did tell them to grow up. hate to say it’s the young 20 something generation, they think the world owes them something.

"

Not in my experience. It's the older guys 40+ that I've had abuse from very rarely under that age.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"We've currently getting the same thing from another couple profile - just because we didn't reply to their liking to a random weird out of the blue message - then slander us on their own profile that we are fake. Whilst in comparison we've been verified over 40 times to their 2 lol

Just crazy "

Then you should report the profile for naming and shaming.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Defiantly agree. any sort of abuse should be reported instantly, weather you rejected them or don't fancy them no one should on their right mind give abuse for that

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet


"Does anyone also receive angry messages when you haven’t replied to someone fast enough?"

I sometimes receive these, but in the year I've been on here I've not had any grief for a "thanks but no thanks" message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Some guys just dont understand how to accept it granted its an ego hit but i dont see the point in getting too upset about something you have 0 control over

But theres always idiots who cant handle loosing and untill they learn from loosing they will never be winners"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Some guys just dont understand how to accept it granted its an ego hit but i dont see the point in getting too upset about something you have 0 control over

But theres always idiots who cant handle loosing and untill they learn from loosing they will never be winners

"

block them

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton

Rejection on this site and dating sites is normal we are not going to be to every one likening there is no need to be a idiot about.On this site if I send a message and the person doesn’t respond and I go to send a second message it gives you a reminder that you message this person before they didn’t respond and advising best not to contact again I think this is a good thing as it reminds me if they didn’t message back last time why would they this time.If I got a message back saying no thanks I would accept it and move on but if I sent a message back it wouldn’t give me that reminder that the person wasn’t interested as I guess it show a line of communication has been established.Either way rejection is part of life get over it and move on.

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By *igerlilycubWoman
over a year ago

Lancashire

I get more abuse for not reading or answering messages when I can't reply to every one.

I just block and delete unless it's really off the scale abusive which happens then I report

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By *adyLucknGamblersCouple
over a year ago

Harwich / Colchester


"We've currently getting the same thing from another couple profile - just because we didn't reply to their liking to a random weird out of the blue message - then slander us on their own profile that we are fake. Whilst in comparison we've been verified over 40 times to their 2 lol

Just crazy

Already have

Then you should report the profile for naming and shaming. "

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By *onnie And Clyde9070Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

Even worse is getting abuse after a meet because you would not do exactly what they wanted you to do. That takes a special kind of pondlife.

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By *he-Hosiery-GentMan
over a year ago

Older Hot Bearded Guy

I've had ladies who whilst not exactly abusive, have been very sarcastic with a sour grapes attitude when I've politely declined them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I only reject the hot ones so they know what it feels like for us peasants "

\\\and i do the same.

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

I obviously got up someone’s nose resently ,

I refused his offer and he came back with* piss off then ...Snob . or something similar . Always find these reactions funny as obviously I am good enough to message initially . Lucky escape for me .

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Or they get soo annoyed you rejected them,they start and thread about it,and make up lies

Seriously get a life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Or they get soo annoyed you rejected them,they start and thread about it,and make up lies

Seriously get a life "

There really are some sad fucks on here that literally must have no life. I actually feel sorry for them. Some make new profiles just to pester people who have said no thanks and blocked them. I'd be flattered I'd made such an impression on someone. If belittling and being abusive makes them feel better they really do have issues. Some take this shit way too seriously, it's just a bit of fun.

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By *onnie And Clyde9070Couple
over a year ago

Leeds


"Or they get soo annoyed you rejected them,they start and thread about it,and make up lies

Seriously get a life

There really are some sad fucks on here that literally must have no life. I actually feel sorry for them. Some make new profiles just to pester people who have said no thanks and blocked them. I'd be flattered I'd made such an impression on someone. If belittling and being abusive makes them feel better they really do have issues. Some take this shit way too seriously, it's just a bit of fun."

Sad fucks and beyond. The way some people behave on here you couldn't make up.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Or they get soo annoyed you rejected them,they start and thread about it,and make up lies

Seriously get a life

There really are some sad fucks on here that literally must have no life. I actually feel sorry for them. Some make new profiles just to pester people who have said no thanks and blocked them. I'd be flattered I'd made such an impression on someone. If belittling and being abusive makes them feel better they really do have issues. Some take this shit way too seriously, it's just a bit of fun.

Sad fucks and beyond. The way some people behave on here you couldn't make up."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Rejection is not nice But no need to get verbally abusive.

No reply means not interested.

I respond with a polite "thank you but not interested Good luck" message.

9 times out of 10 I get polite answers back or none which is totally fine.

But the ones that get verbally abusive I don't get.

I have started reporting the profiles who get nasty.

Is there a consequence for them??

Or nothing happens.

"

I find it strange when others get nasty over rejection. It’s like dealing with moody toddler.

I accept rejection because I know I’m not their cup of tea or their not looking to meet.

I rejected someone outside my preferences and they got nasty ended up reporting them and blocking them.

It’s silly and childish becoming nasty over rejection.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Rejection is not nice But no need to get verbally abusive.

No reply means not interested.

I respond with a polite "thank you but not interested Good luck" message.

9 times out of 10 I get polite answers back or none which is totally fine.

But the ones that get verbally abusive I don't get.

I have started reporting the profiles who get nasty.

Is there a consequence for them??

Or nothing happens.

"
theirs never ever a need to get abusive verbally or textual, let's cut it out....... You know who you are

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Or they get soo annoyed you rejected them,they start and thread about it,and make up lies

Seriously get a life "

No way, pathetic

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By *urlinaTV/TS
over a year ago

London W1

I have given up saying no thanks. Experience has repeatedly shown me that it's pointless. So often politely declining results in queries about why I'm declining, which is idiotic, or guys don't get the message and they continue with their come-on. It's almost always best simply to ignore.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to send a polite no ty message but still get crap off of some. So now i just dont bother replying and if they keep on Ill just block.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I used to send a polite no ty message but still get crap off of some. So now i just dont bother replying and if they keep on Ill just block. "

Easiest way

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By *el1977Man
over a year ago

leeds

Ultimately it’s about respect for women or men.... some people are just arseholes. I was brought up to treat women with respect as a man - as a that’s how real men behave.

Had plenty of knockbacks and always replayed politely anything else is just unacceptable!

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Rejection is great, saves time that would be wasted otherwise.

It also gives a perspective on misaligned values.

So for all those we rejected, we hope you realise how we are helping you to move forward.

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By *ar-Some CoupleCouple
over a year ago

from somewhere glittery & sparkly

[Removed by poster at 10/08/18 20:37:39]

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By *ar-Some CoupleCouple
over a year ago

from somewhere glittery & sparkly

Rejection from a fool , is cruel

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By *ishopstippleMan
over a year ago

Purley


"Rejection is great, saves time that would be wasted otherwise.

It also gives a perspective on misaligned values.

So for all those we rejected, we hope you realise how we are helping you to move forward."

Wot they said.

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By *969BewitchedWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

Nothing happens!

someone I've never spoken to (he never even sent a message) put a veri on my profile saying "stuck up old bag" .

No idea who he is, assume he didn't like the type I listed as he's not my type.

I've reported it 3 times and asked for it to be removed but it still sits there.

Not published of course but was annoying!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anything abusive should be sorted out by admin.

Be kind to one another it costs nothing.

Cheers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nothing happens!

someone I've never spoken to (he never even sent a message) put a veri on my profile saying "stuck up old bag" .

No idea who he is, assume he didn't like the type I listed as he's not my type.

I've reported it 3 times and asked for it to be removed but it still sits there.

Not published of course but was annoying! "

That is fucking sad. What is wrong with some people on here. Their lives must be so pathetic if they have to belittle others. Block him and it will go but defo needs reporting as its a false veri which he should be chucked off the site for.

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