FabSwingers.com forum: The dating scene! When to bring up the swinging lifestyle?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hey everyone,

I’m hoping to get some idea of what is generally accepted as a good idea. As someone who is single and on the dating scene, when would be a good time to bring up swinging? Ideally I’d like someone I could have fun with, instead of shut it down entirely.

My ex and I were on this site, however that was because she was extremely bi-curious and one day asked if we could have a threesome so she could explore. I was obviously happy with that.

But with new people, how/when do you bring it up without sounding bad?

Thanks for all your lovely input!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Probably have the starter and main course, then bring it up before pudding?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm in the same boat. I feel like I should bring it up on a second date or after the first time we have sex. I generally don't wait 90 days of whatever before sleeping with someone when dating so sex would happen after date 3 or 4 for me. Whichever way I think early on is good but I've not done it yet

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By *onny MCMan
over a year ago

Crawley

Met a couple of girls recently who I explained what I was into after just a few days of text-flirting, just so there wasn't any weird reaction from them to it after anything physical happened between us. Both seemed keen to find out more and may end up on the scene with me in the future. Have also just set up a Tinder profile stating I go to swingers clubs and had my first meet yesterday, she too seems interested, if a little nervous. I obviously have some sort of sixth sense for the incredibly kinky,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I told my boyfriend from the first coffee that id had a different lifestyle for a few years and the reason why so i left him to decide if he wanted to date me or not....and he did,early days but its still going and we're getting stronger and my faith is slowly getting restored.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey everyone,

My ex and I were on this site, however that was because she was extremely bi-curious and one day asked if we could have a threesome so she could explore. I was obviously happy with that.

But with new people, how/when do you bring it up without sounding bad?

Thanks for all your lovely input!

I don't date - just use Fab so we would both be on the same page.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try the dating threads on the forum ... no need to bring it up then

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

If I was dating (gods forbid) I would mention the things I want from my sex life on a first date if it seemed we might see each other more than a couple of times. Life is way too short to waste it on hinting and worrying if your particular kinks will make you look bad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it’s a part of you that you don’t want to give up then you need to mention it early on. Not fair getting into a relationship only for it not be what both of you expect.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t say a word until you two are moving towards being exclusive....

Bring it up to her and gauge her reaction....

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By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

I’m dipping my toe into dating at the moment. I ensure I mention it within the first few days of contact. It matters to me that they know and have choice to run before anything happens.

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

I haven't dated for...erm…. forever, so I'm probably way out of touch.

However, if I had to start from scratch, I'd see how the first date went, and then tell them I'd love to see them again, but...and lay out for them (lifestyle choice etc).

I'd tell them that obviously I wouldn't expect them to start straight away, and I'd be happy to discuss it, and then hope they were at least open to the possibility.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't tell them you sit on the computer trying to meet women a normal bird will not like it, keep that shit to yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't tell them you sit on the computer trying to meet women a normal bird will not like it, keep that shit to yourself

Thats what everyone is doing now ... dating is all through apps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don’t say a word until you two are moving towards being exclusive....

Bring it up to her and gauge her reaction....

See for me that'd annoy me. It's a huge thing to tell someone and a deal breaker for some people so it wait until you're exclusive could be wasting someone's time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don’t say a word until you two are moving towards being exclusive....

Bring it up to her and gauge her reaction....

See for me that'd annoy me. It's a huge thing to tell someone and a deal breaker for some people so it wait until you're exclusive could be wasting someone's time.

I date a lot and telling someone about swinging on the first , second or third date is inappropriate.....

It’s like talking about ex girlfriends and one night stands....

I like to know we are heading somewhere before I truly open up about my life....

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By *sianMancMan
over a year ago

Manchester

I actually joined this site to meet the One lol

I met my ex on a similar site thus knee this place would be ideal.

I haven't met her yet but I'm in no rush till then.

It's easier here in real life however if I was on a date with someone I would begin to slowly and subtly bring it up.

If I knew she wasn't into the same open minded lifestyle as me then atleast I know and can decide whether to continue with her or not.

Not bringing it up is silly. If it's what you do and what you want to do then don't lose hope. The female you seek will be there soon. Good luck buddy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don’t say a word until you two are moving towards being exclusive....

Bring it up to her and gauge her reaction....

See for me that'd annoy me. It's a huge thing to tell someone and a deal breaker for some people so it wait until you're exclusive could be wasting someone's time.

I date a lot and telling someone about swinging on the first , second or third date is inappropriate.....

It’s like talking about ex girlfriends and one night stands....

I like to know we are heading somewhere before I truly open up about my life...."

Seriously ? Inappropriate? No is not like talking about ex partners! Is a life style and I am proud of it! I am open from the beginning because is a part of myself! And looking for a person to share it together ! If the person is not open or don't like it, why I would waste my time with them ! I put all my cards in the table !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don’t say a word until you two are moving towards being exclusive....

Bring it up to her and gauge her reaction....

See for me that'd annoy me. It's a huge thing to tell someone and a deal breaker for some people so it wait until you're exclusive could be wasting someone's time.

I date a lot and telling someone about swinging on the first , second or third date is inappropriate.....

It’s like talking about ex girlfriends and one night stands....

I like to know we are heading somewhere before I truly open up about my life....

I tend to date very conservative women.... the trill to me is pushing their sexual boundaries...

In polite society, swinging is still looked down upon...

I will not chance telling total strangers my sexual proclivities until I’m sure they can be trusted....

Now after trust is established, I will then open Pandora’s box....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest, I have been on here twice before both times it’s because I’ve been chatting to a guy on tinder who has been upfront about being into the lifestyle and so I’ve joined to see if it’s something I could see myself being open to as no point in even meeting someone if you know you aren’t going to be compatible.

And with the first guy we meet up about 3 times, and I would happily meet him again but we were looking for different things and I didn’t get to the point of feeling I knew and trust him enough to go to a club.

The second guy, we chatted for about 6 weeks before meeting because I wasn’t sure but we got on really well. We now have a great friendship but not a single romantic feeling between us. Damn it, lol.

I think it’s something I would want to know pretty early on if not I’d probably feel a bit mislead, but that would depend on the level of exclusivity I was under the impression there was between us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I told Lucy on our first date I was a swinger, I felt like there was going to be an elephant in the room if I wasn't honest and transparent.

It threw her a bit as she didn't know much about that scene. She went away and did some research and liked the concept. She also liked that I was obviously a 'sexual' being.

Second date didn't take long to happen!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey everyone,

My ex and I were on this site, however that was because she was extremely bi-curious and one day asked if we could have a threesome so she could explore. I was obviously happy with that.

But with new people, how/when do you bring it up without sounding bad?

Thanks for all your lovely input!

X"
Best time to bring it up is when you're with somebody off here invite her round

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

From the start. If swinging is a must have criteria in a relationship for you. Its not everyone's cup of tea and there could be a lot of wasted time say 4 months down the road you ask and they say no way. OK Cupid has questionnaires including ones about sex and relationships. This is good to both find people with simular sex and relationship preferences and to advertise your preferences in a more less overt way to like minded people. And/or seeking dating within the scene like on FAB. I have seen profiles on here that are looking for dating.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

As soon as possible, perhaps not the first date but certainly before any sexual contact. They don't have to agree to swing, but they should be open to the possibility otherwise there is no point.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always tell women before I've met them? Surprisingly most don't have an issue with it and over the last 3 years I've had swinging meets as a couple with 3 different women I've met off pof? In all that time I've only had grief off 1 women?

She said I'm the type of man who ruins dating sites? Personally I think it's the men in relationship's who ruin dating sites? As far as I'm concerned I'm honest enough to tell them, I delete my account on here if I'm dating someone (unless they want to join in, I don't cheat so don't really get why I'm ruining dating sites?

I would say be honest from the start if you don't say it may well catch up with you later

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't tell them you sit on the computer trying to meet women a normal bird will not like it, keep that shit to yourself

Try it m8, believe me I've had no problem getting dates online and I've told them all before first date, had 3 women start swinging with me, most women are curious even if they don't do it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don’t say a word until you two are moving towards being exclusive....

Bring it up to her and gauge her reaction....

Honesty is the best policy? Wait 2 long then there's never a right time? What if your well into a loving relationship then she finds out?

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By *unkymale65Man
over a year ago

Worksop

Good thread I am curious about the best way to bring up the subject. Should you just tell it straight or drop a little hint and see the reaction. If its positive then elaborate more on the subject

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

I had it ‘taboo lifestyle/hobby’ on my tinder. It prompted people to ask.

I got unmatched faster than you can say ‘no’ a lot of the time but it sorted the men from the boys

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Hey everyone,

My ex and I were on this site, however that was because she was extremely bi-curious and one day asked if we could have a threesome so she could explore. I was obviously happy with that.

But with new people, how/when do you bring it up without sounding bad?

Thanks for all your lovely input!

On the first date.

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

I’m with the ‘just say it. Don’t waste time on those not interested’ crew.

I couldn’t give this lifestyle and my friends up.

I want a new partner to augment not hinder my life.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Loads of good thoughts and advice here, thanks!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m with the ‘just say it. Don’t waste time on those not interested’ crew.

I couldn’t give this lifestyle and my friends up.

I want a new partner to augment not hinder my life. "

Honest question.......

Have you introduced your swinging friends to your vanilla friends and family?

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

Maybe not my parents but all my friends know full well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe not my parents but all my friends know full well"

Ok all my friends are married with kids.... everything they do revolves around their children.......

People I swing with are very casual..... I don’t spend birthdays with them nor would I visit them in the hospital if they fell ill....

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

If you wish to continue swinging when in a relationship then I would suggest that you tell your dates at an early opportunity. It's no use getting emotionally connected and invested only to tell them "By the way, I'd like something other than monogamy" and to discover they are not open to the idea. You are hurt. They are hurt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you wish to continue swinging when in a relationship then I would suggest that you tell your dates at an early opportunity. It's no use getting emotionally connected and invested only to tell them "By the way, I'd like something other than monogamy" and to discover they are not open to the idea. You are hurt. They are hurt.

I totally agree with this ... however in the same vein i dont want kids ... same idea no point getting emotionally invested to find out someone doesnt have samw thought and both hurt ... yet when i brig it up early on with someone (despite me saying i dont want to have kids rather than trying to pin them down for kids ha) i regularly get told i am psycho for even thinking about it so soon

Funny how people can look at sex and the product of it so differently in terms of what you can and cant talk about despite them both being big factors you need to be compatible on long term

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

Kids are usually something people think about when already in a secure relationship. It's rarely thought of as something to discuss early on while feeling the way into a relationship. Whereas perhaps expectations of monogamy do need to be discussed from the get go. If I meet someone new, I think they need to know quickly that I am effectively married to two women and there is zero chance of monogamy..... But the fact that I do not want children comes later.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hubby and I met on a dating website. We discussed the fact that he wanted to see me with other guys if we were to have a relationship on our second date. It was a a fantastic conversation and I knew he was a keeper when he suggested that my ultimate relationship fantasy was also his!

It’s important to discuss the things that you want from a relationship early if you want it to work. I just wish I had realised that when I was younger

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

If you wouldn't swing in a relationship then you weren't swinging to start with

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

If you wouldn't swing in a relationship then you weren't swinging to start with "

Really?

))))))))

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

"Maybe not my parents but all my friends know full well

Ok all my friends are married with kids.... everything they do revolves around their children.......

People I swing with are very casual..... I don’t spend birthdays with them nor would I visit them in the hospital if they fell ill...."

Why not visit them in hospital?

I had someone I met in the scene offer to visit me in hospital and ask if I needed anything. We are all human.

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

"Maybe not my parents but all my friends know full well

Ok all my friends are married with kids.... everything they do revolves around their children.......

People I swing with are very casual..... I don’t spend birthdays with them nor would I visit them in the hospital if they fell ill....

Why not visit them in hospital?

I had someone I met in the scene offer to visit me in hospital and ask if I needed anything. We are all human. "

All my friends know about my lifestyle and I have many swinger friends.

Heck, a friend who was working as an escort was visited in hospital by two of her clients... We are all human.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

If you wouldn't swing in a relationship then you weren't swinging to start with

Really?

)))))))) "

A single women and a single man meeting for sex is not swinging

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

A single women and a single man meeting for sex is not swinging "

That depends very much on the definition you are using.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

A single women and a single man meeting for sex is not swinging

That depends very much on the definition you are using. "

There's no definition where two singles fucking is called swinging.

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By *ertscpl1 2000Couple
over a year ago

WELWYN GARDEN CITY

I met the Mrs on pof..came completely clean on 3rd date as decided there were to be no lies between us ..3 years on still going strong..swing most weekends..and off to thailand next year!!

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

A single women and a single man meeting for sex is not swinging

That depends very much on the definition you are using.

There's no definition where two singles fucking is called swinging."

Google dictionary "sexually liberated or promiscuous"

OED "Engaging in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners within a group, especially on a habitual basis."

Either could involve single people or couples splitting off to seek fun alone.

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

A single women and a single man meeting for sex is not swinging

That depends very much on the definition you are using.

There's no definition where two singles fucking is called swinging."

Google dictionary "sexually liberated or promiscuous"

OED "Engaging in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners within a group, especially on a habitual basis."

Either could involve single people or couples splitting off to seek fun alone.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

A single women and a single man meeting for sex is not swinging

That depends very much on the definition you are using.

There's no definition where two singles fucking is called swinging.

Google dictionary "sexually liberated or promiscuous"

OED "Engaging in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners within a group, especially on a habitual basis."

Either could involve single people or couples splitting off to seek fun alone. "

I don't see how the second one could. At the end of the day, if your son comes home from university and says he hooked up with a girl, no sane person replies "oh so you're a swinger now".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey everyone,

My ex and I were on this site, however that was because she was extremely bi-curious and one day asked if we could have a threesome so she could explore. I was obviously happy with that.

But with new people, how/when do you bring it up without sounding bad?

Thanks for all your lovely input!

Honesty is always the best policy as has been said if you want this scene to be a part of you and your life then you have say up front.

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

If you wouldn't swing in a relationship then you weren't swinging to start with

Really?

))))))))

A single women and a single man meeting for sex is not swinging "

What about a single woman and two single men? A single man or woman attending swingers' parties?

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

If you wouldn't swing in a relationship then you weren't swinging to start with

Really?

))))))))

A single women and a single man meeting for sex is not swinging

What about a single woman and two single men? A single man or woman attending swingers' parties?"

Swinging is a subset of ethical non-monogamy. The non-mongamy aspect requires that you share a partner or at least open to sharing a partner.

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

If you wouldn't swing in a relationship then you weren't swinging to start with

Really?

))))))))

A single women and a single man meeting for sex is not swinging

What about a single woman and two single men? A single man or woman attending swingers' parties?

Swinging is a subset of ethical non-monogamy. The non-mongamy aspect requires that you share a partner or at least open to sharing a partner. "

Fair enough.

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By *irtySekretsCouple
over a year ago

Filthy Desires Upon Trent

Me and Ess met through Tinder. We got on so well and literally fell for each other straight away.

We loved the vanilla stuff But after 2 weeks the truth came flooding out.

We were chatting on Watsapp and she said, “Ask me any 3 questions about Sex and I will tell you the truth”

Well. My first question was, “Have you ever been with a woman” she answered straight away! YES.

She then told me about her Swinging exploits with her former husband.

So I then told her about MY Swinging exploits with a previous partner.

So. We fancied each other. Love spending time together. Fell in Love with each other AND we love Swinging together.

Pretty bloody awesome to be fair

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I try to ostracized my fab life to my day to day; however if I were to start dating. I most probably would come off fab & concentrate on building something with substance. That being said prior to coming off fab I would tell her very early on, and take it from perhaps could even result in us having a couples profile.

One thing to remember in life and the question thread is that: its not what is said; but how its said

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

"Personally I try to ostracized my fab life to my day to day"

What in the world does that mean?

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By *ressed4fun03TV/TS
over a year ago

Midlands

I just wait til they put their hands down my trousers, when they find me in stockings, suspenders and panties they soon realise that im a bit alternative, then they can either run for the hills or take me as I am!

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By *parkle7Woman
over a year ago

....

What about turning away from fab and swinging altogether......what point do you tell the guy “I used to be a swinger!!!”

Or would u never mention the past - even though it’s sonething I have loved n enjoyed a lot!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it’s something you want to continue with I’d say bring it up sooner rather than later, that way it won’t come across as some dirty little secret and will be outed. If the other person is not interested it may we’ll save wasted time on both sides. Or you could choose to keep it quiet and walk away from the scene... the choice is your own to make

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"What about turning away from fab and swinging altogether......what point do you tell the guy “I used to be a swinger!!!”

Or would u never mention the past - even though it’s sonething I have loved n enjoyed a lot!!!

I wouldn't be prepared to be in a relationship with someone who found my past difficult to accept. I hate having to keep the real me concealed and if someone doesn't know me warts and all they can't love me warts and all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At the end of the first date! Don't waste her time or yours by prolonging that subject.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What about turning away from fab and swinging altogether......what point do you tell the guy “I used to be a swinger!!!”

Or would u never mention the past - even though it’s sonething I have loved n enjoyed a lot!!!

If you don't want to bring a new partner into the swinging world, then don't bring that subject up.

Your past life is your business and of no concern to anyone else. You know if you choose to bring it up, you'll only get judged for it. Negatively So! So no point really.

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By *ames1763Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

If it were to be me on the date, I will take charge from moment we meet and tell the lady straight what my life style is like.

I will then let her make the choice to be with me or not , she will see it in my body language and she will be thinking, this guy is very respectful and polite, he obviously likes me but is not bothered if I say yes or no, he must have a lot of ladies.

I am friends with some vanilla ladies who I see, they are not into this lifestyle, they know am not interested in any relationship because I told them straight on the first day and they know am into this lifestyle but that does not stop them from being with me.

So tell the ladies on the first day what your life style is like,if they like you,it will not stop them from being with you.

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

"If it were to be me on the date, I will take charge from moment we meet and tell the lady straight what my life style is like.

So tell the ladies on the first day what your life style is like,if they like you,it will not stop them from being with you."

If you’re not interested In a date I should think it was kinder to tell the lady it’s NOT a date before you’re sat in nando’s. It used to proper wind me up when I was looking for a relationship to waste all the time and effort on something that was just a shag when I could have seen one of my friends off here or saved a load of money and makeup and just asked them round to my house

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"If it were to be me on the date, I will take charge from moment we meet and tell the lady straight what my life style is like.

So tell the ladies on the first day what your life style is like,if they like you,it will not stop them from being with you."

What? How are they with you if you're not in a relationship?

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By *ames1763Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Is that not what swinging is about? are there not many Hotwives who are married but are also with multiple guys they see regularly as their time permits, without being in any relationship with these guys?

There are a lot of single ladies who are honest enough to say, I like this guy enough to see him regularly and be with him in that regard but I do not want to build a relationship with him.

I think as adults it is better to be honest from the beginning instead of allowing relationships that end up making you miserable.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"Is that not what swinging is about?

are there not many Hotwives who are married but are also with multiple guys they see regularly as their time permits, without being in any relationship with these guys?

That would be swinging since she is already married

There are a lot of single ladies who are honest enough to say, I like this guy enough to see him regularly and be with him in that regard but I do not want to build a relationship with him.

That's just having a fuck buddy

I think as adults it is better to be honest from the beginning instead of allowing relationships that end up making you miserable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I told my boyfriend from the first coffee that id had a different lifestyle for a few years and the reason why so i left him to decide if he wanted to date me or not....and he did,early days but its still going and we're getting stronger and my faith is slowly getting restored.x

I think this is a good idea

also saying a different lifestyle is probably a bit less full on to the uninitiated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If it were to be me on the date, I will take charge from moment we meet and tell the lady straight what my life style is like.

So tell the ladies on the first day what your life style is like,if they like you,it will not stop them from being with you.

What goonightgirl said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What about turning away from fab and swinging altogether......what point do you tell the guy “I used to be a swinger!!!”

Or would u never mention the past - even though it’s sonething I have loved n enjoyed a lot!!!

If you don't want to bring a new partner into the swinging world, then don't bring that subject up.

Your past life is your business and of no concern to anyone else. You know if you choose to bring it up, you'll only get judged for it. Negatively So! So no point really.

I agree in principal but i dont think as a female on here you have that luxury of privacy ... the volume of men to women on here means most likely 90 % of local guys on here have seen your profile... if you have ever been in chat on cam or played face pic friday or even swapped face pics with people you chat to then the number of them who have seen your face on here and will remember is high and what if one of them turns out to be mates with the new partner and they hear it from the mate rather than you?

I haven't swapped face pics with people i wasn't meeting / cammed / played face pic friday / been to a club in over 2 years maybe longer (lesson learned too late) - ive also changed my pictures and profile name a few times in that time and i still regularly get messages about being on fab from people on regular dating sites ... its concerning how many tbh ... some are actually so weird that they recognise my bedroom from the background of photographs

So i dont kid myself on that my past can stay my private past and I always make sure to tell people before they hear it somewhere else first

As a guy on here on the other hand ... penis *cough* sorry i meant needle in a hay stack chance of someone recognising you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Funny I’ve just been discussing this with a swinging girlfriend today x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't tell them you sit on the computer trying to meet women a normal bird will not like it, keep that shit to yourself

Thats what everyone is doing now ... dating is all through apps "
I know I've had great success with the McDonald's app

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't tell them you sit on the computer trying to meet women a normal bird will not like it, keep that shit to yourself

Thats what everyone is doing now ... dating is all through apps I know I've had great success with the McDonald's app"

McDonalds ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey everyone,

My ex and I were on this site, however that was because she was extremely bi-curious and one day asked if we could have a threesome so she could explore. I was obviously happy with that.

But with new people, how/when do you bring it up without sounding bad?

Thanks for all your lovely input!

X"
suppose a lot to do with it is if you regard them as a ' keeper'?

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

"Swinging is a subset of ethical non-monogamy. The non-mongamy aspect requires that you share a partner or at least open to sharing a partner. "

Indeed, that again does not preclude a single person being a swinger.

I'm married to two women, one legally and one by handfasting (and yes, they both know etc). I also attend swingers clubs from time to time and am open to having sex with other people. What am I?

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

""Swinging is a subset of ethical non-monogamy. The non-mongamy aspect requires that you share a partner or at least open to sharing a partner. "

Indeed, that again does not preclude a single person being a swinger.

I'm married to two women, one legally and one by handfasting (and yes, they both know etc). I also attend swingers clubs from time to time and am open to having sex with other people. What am I?"

Polygamous or polyamorous by the sounds of it. Do they have sexual relations with anyone else?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From the beginning

Honest with your partner is paramount

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

Polygamous or polyamorous by the sounds of it. Do they have sexual relations with anyone else? "

Definitely polyamorous. My legal wife has a boyfriend and a fuck buddy, my handfasted wife has another husband and a boyfriend. There's no hint of monogamy anywhere.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

Polygamous or polyamorous by the sounds of it. Do they have sexual relations with anyone else?

Definitely polyamorous. My legal wife has a boyfriend and a fuck buddy, my handfasted wife has another husband and a boyfriend. There's no hint of monogamy anywhere. "

So I would say that:

1. You're not single

2. You'd qualify for your swinger blue badge because you share your wives. Imagine you didn't share your wives but they shared you. That's the same relationship structure commonly found in Saudi Arabia, nobody would call conservative Muslims as swingers.

3. Polyamorous sounds like the most accurate description of your setup because swinging doesn't typically involve any form of commitment with the additional sexual partners. Since your wives have "boyfriends", then it's more polyamory than swinging. But they are not mutually exclusive terms either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you wouldn't swing in a relationship then you weren't swinging to start with

Really?

))))))))

A single women and a single man meeting for sex is not swinging

What about a single woman and two single men? A single man or woman attending swingers' parties?

Swinging is a subset of ethical non-monogamy. The non-mongamy aspect requires that you share a partner or at least open to sharing a partner. "

When I've met a single women off fab we both know that the other one is free to sleep with whoever they want whenever they want? Isn't that ethical non monogamy? It is to me? To be honest why do people have to be put into categories based on another person's definition? Swinging is whatever each individual person wants it to be?

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

If you wouldn't swing in a relationship then you weren't swinging to start with

Really?

))))))))

A single women and a single man meeting for sex is not swinging

What about a single woman and two single men? A single man or woman attending swingers' parties?

Swinging is a subset of ethical non-monogamy. The non-mongamy aspect requires that you share a partner or at least open to sharing a partner.

You can't have language without set definitions of words! So it's simply never true that a meaningful word can mean whatever any individual wants it to mean.

What you described is obviously not swinging. You weren't in a relationship to start with so she was never yours to share in the first place. What you described is no different to most hookups at universities, nobody would say that swinging is common at universities.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

With tinder and a few other apps that are widely accepted online, I'd think it's pretty normal for people to discus online dating and sex. What isn't normal or that accepted is saying you wanted to have an open relationship with them or bringing other people into that relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It does depend on the person you are chatting to, some people would run a mile if they knew you were/are a swinger, however especially in this day and age people are much more open to exploring different things on the circuit. Just take it by a case by case basis

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me I think if you have a second date then mention it.

First date is the initial meet and you don’t know if you truly like each other yet, but if you arrange a second date then I think it should be said.

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By *rwolfMan
over a year ago

bristol

Firstly i always say im open minded when it comes to sex. Then it comes down to how they respond to that.

If they reply the same, then delve a little deeper... With me being into bdsm and other apsects too its quite easy to say things like "well im not very vanilla"

Another way to test the waters..

From there it can either be a very full on conversation about sex or it can be tantalising them into trying things

If you take a look at how big sexual desires are (and it is a huge world to get into even past swinging) most will have a fantasy you can talk about.

Then it comes down to simple basics like building trust, communication, being 125% honest about everything!

Lots of time together, build a strong base and from there go at a pace comfortable with both of you

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By *eepgliderMan
over a year ago

Chacewater

"If I was dating (gods forbid) I would mention the things I want from my sex life on a first date if it seemed we might see each other more than a couple of times. Life is way too short to waste it on hinting and worrying if your particular kinks will make you look bad."

Tee-heee... Thinking back to a "date" where the lady was sat there eyes unfocussed kind of talking to the table, admonishing me for bringing-up sex on the first date and telling me something banal about the only purpose of a first date is deciding whether there should be a second date (sic.). Different strokes for different folks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll bring it up now, anyone want to date and swing?

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