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This site vs Dating sites vs ???

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

My first topic - apologies if it's an old chestnut.

This site: Although I've only been here a month, I don't think I'm going to get anywhere. I think that's realistic rather than self-pitying or defeatist. Tell me if I'm wrong. I joined after trying dating sites.

Dating sites: Most women of compatible age (with genuine profiles) are looking for a relationship, which is not what I want at present. It's not my moral code to string someone along dishonestly just for the opportunity of sex.

Alternatives?? Advice please, but just to pre-empt:

Clubs - I cannot do as my job has quite a profile in the community and my employment would be seriously compromised.

Thanks.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

It's uncanny ... this has generated exactly the same number of responses as my messages do!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's uncanny ... this has generated exactly the same number of responses as my messages do!"

Can't i laughed alot, Fix your profile, opened and closed it immediately...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I took one look at your profile and was like... no. 90% of that seems totally unnecessary.

The negative attitude is not going to get you very far either.

Make your profile clear and to the point. Who are you, what are you looking for, what can you offer? A couple more pictures wouldn't be a bad thing.

Aside from that... you are a single guy and you have been on here three weeks. It takes some men months to get a meet.

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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago

Wherever the party is!


"My first topic - apologies if it's an old chestnut.

This site: Although I've only been here a month, I don't think I'm going to get anywhere. I think that's realistic rather than self-pitying or defeatist. Tell me if I'm wrong. I joined after trying dating sites.

Dating sites: Most women of compatible age (with genuine profiles) are looking for a relationship, which is not what I want at present. It's not my moral code to string someone along dishonestly just for the opportunity of sex.

Alternatives?? Advice please, but just to pre-empt:

Clubs - I cannot do as my job has quite a profile in the community and my employment would be seriously compromised.

Thanks."

Maybe you should try clubs...that are not too close to where you live.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My first topic - apologies if it's an old chestnut.

This site: Although I've only been here a month, I don't think I'm going to get anywhere. I think that's realistic rather than self-pitying or defeatist. Tell me if I'm wrong. I joined after trying dating sites.

Dating sites: Most women of compatible age (with genuine profiles) are looking for a relationship, which is not what I want at present. It's not my moral code to string someone along dishonestly just for the opportunity of sex.

Alternatives?? Advice please, but just to pre-empt:

Clubs - I cannot do as my job has quite a profile in the community and my employment would be seriously compromised.

Thanks.

Maybe you should try clubs...that are not too close to where you live. "

Thank you, that's something I hadn't really considered but will look into.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I took one look at your profile and was like... no. 90% of that seems totally unnecessary.

The negative attitude is not going to get you very far either.

Make your profile clear and to the point. Who are you, what are you looking for, what can you offer? A couple more pictures wouldn't be a bad thing.

Aside from that... you are a single guy and you have been on here three weeks. It takes some men months to get a meet. "

Yes I get that and the profile is something I'm not treating seriously. I might create a second profile which is 'to the point'. I was considering a body pic, if only to show I have the usual number of appendages and am not Jabba the Hutt

Thanks.

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By *ap d agde coupleCouple
over a year ago

Broadstairs

Absolutely terrible photos

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By *weet-cheeks100Woman
over a year ago

Staffordshire

Is it a profile or a diary?

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By *elshsunsWoman
over a year ago

Flintshire

Lose the socks ..... eeeeeeee

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's uncanny ... this has generated exactly the same number of responses as my messages do!"
is that the longest profile write up ever....... I doubt it but it's up there and all sites generally interact the same it all comes down to sex, many here are looking for life partners life being 10 years these days, so you're just as likely to find that partner here as anywhere.......... Patients is the quay

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I took one look at your profile and was like... no. 90% of that seems totally unnecessary.

The negative attitude is not going to get you very far either.

Make your profile clear and to the point. Who are you, what are you looking for, what can you offer? A couple more pictures wouldn't be a bad thing.

Aside from that... you are a single guy and you have been on here three weeks. It takes some men months to get a meet.

Yes I get that and the profile is something I'm not treating seriously. I might create a second profile which is 'to the point'. I was considering a body pic, if only to show I have the usual number of appendages and am not Jabba the Hutt

Thanks."

If you're not treating your profile seriously, how do you expect to be successful?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We liked the satirical nature of your profile and you obviously have an eye for the ridiculous. Carry on charting your own path on here and reaping the rewards...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We liked the satirical nature of your profile and you obviously have an eye for the ridiculous. Carry on charting your own path on here and reaping the rewards..."
omg I want rewards

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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago

Wherever the party is!


"I took one look at your profile and was like... no. 90% of that seems totally unnecessary.

The negative attitude is not going to get you very far either.

Make your profile clear and to the point. Who are you, what are you looking for, what can you offer? A couple more pictures wouldn't be a bad thing.

Aside from that... you are a single guy and you have been on here three weeks. It takes some men months to get a meet.

Yes I get that and the profile is something I'm not treating seriously. I might create a second profile which is 'to the point'. I was considering a body pic, if only to show I have the usual number of appendages and am not Jabba the Hutt

Thanks.

If you're not treating your profile seriously, how do you expect to be successful? "

BANG!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think your profile is absolutely brilliant!! You have personality and a sense of humour.

Unfortunately most on here treat people like pieces of meat. Fuck them and chuck them. Or just chuck them- as you've found out.

I don't think you will have any luck on here but don't be sad about that. Take it as a massive compliment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I took one look at your profile and was like... no. 90% of that seems totally unnecessary.

The negative attitude is not going to get you very far either.

Make your profile clear and to the point. Who are you, what are you looking for, what can you offer? A couple more pictures wouldn't be a bad thing.

Aside from that... you are a single guy and you have been on here three weeks. It takes some men months to get a meet.

Yes I get that and the profile is something I'm not treating seriously. I might create a second profile which is 'to the point'. I was considering a body pic, if only to show I have the usual number of appendages and am not Jabba the Hutt

Thanks.

If you're not treating your profile seriously, how do you expect to be successful? "
omg I want to be seriarse but I just can't so no hope for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I took one look at your profile and was like... no. 90% of that seems totally unnecessary.

The negative attitude is not going to get you very far either.

Make your profile clear and to the point. Who are you, what are you looking for, what can you offer? A couple more pictures wouldn't be a bad thing.

Aside from that... you are a single guy and you have been on here three weeks. It takes some men months to get a meet.

Yes I get that and the profile is something I'm not treating seriously. I might create a second profile which is 'to the point'. I was considering a body pic, if only to show I have the usual number of appendages and am not Jabba the Hutt

Thanks.

If you're not treating your profile seriously, how do you expect to be successful? omg I want to be seriarse but I just can't so no hope for me "

It's also down to the type of people you're looking to attract of course

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By *eorgy26Man
over a year ago

Sutton

The ??? should be go out to the pub or bar.

If you are looking to meet someone nice to get laid it will take significant effort and time on here.

It's far quicker, easier and more fun to go out and meet people in real life.

If you aren't looking to be part of the swinging scene and attend events you are probably wasting your time on here as a single guy.

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

I faced the same two years back. I put a very upfront honest profile on POF saying that while not exactly a ‘player’ I’m no ‘angel’ either. Not looking for a full on relationship but crave serious female company. I had some criticism but some great messages also. Ended up meeting two gorgeous women and still meet for dates and great sex every now and then to this day. As ever - honesty pays.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just looked at your profile, didn’t bother reading to the end as it comes across quite negative. Also, your pictures could be improved so I’d say those are two very big reasons why you aren’t getting anywhere.

If you messsged me and I read your profile your message would be deleted as I wouldn’t be interested. If you aren’t taking your profile seriously how do you expect to get meets?

Make you’re profile about you and not about the age of George Clooney or the fact you’ve been blocked. Being in the same age bracket as GC doesn’t mean you’re automatically entitled to a meet, you have to put the effort in to reap the rewards!

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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

Your profile is all people who may be interested in you have to go on.

Have a look at the profiles of successful single men and compare their profiles to yours and you will soon see why you are not successful here

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

I read your profile and laughed at most of it but found points 2 3 and 4 a bit offensive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just looked at your profile, didn’t bother reading to the end as it comes across quite negative. Also, your pictures could be improved so I’d say those are two very big reasons why you aren’t getting anywhere.

If you messsged me and I read your profile your message would be deleted as I wouldn’t be interested. If you aren’t taking your profile seriously how do you expect to get meets?

Make you’re profile about you and not about the age of George Clooney or the fact you’ve been blocked. Being in the same age bracket as GC doesn’t mean you’re automatically entitled to a meet, you have to put the effort in to reap the rewards! "

His profile *is* about him and his personality. You didn't read it all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is it a profile or a diary?"

Diary

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Absolutely terrible photos "

Not a knee fan eh?

I know, they're a bit ... niche.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"We liked the satirical nature of your profile and you obviously have an eye for the ridiculous. Carry on charting your own path on here and reaping the rewards..."

Yes, I have an eye for the ridiculous whenever I shave.

I'm all set for the reaping.

Thank you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just looked at your profile, didn’t bother reading to the end as it comes across quite negative. Also, your pictures could be improved so I’d say those are two very big reasons why you aren’t getting anywhere.

If you messsged me and I read your profile your message would be deleted as I wouldn’t be interested. If you aren’t taking your profile seriously how do you expect to get meets?

Make you’re profile about you and not about the age of George Clooney or the fact you’ve been blocked. Being in the same age bracket as GC doesn’t mean you’re automatically entitled to a meet, you have to put the effort in to reap the rewards!

His profile *is* about him and his personality. You didn't read it all. "

As I said I didn’t bother reading to the end.

So maybe it is about him, I won’t be finding out since it’s far too long winded and not at all interesting to me.

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

Maybe you should book an escort.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I read your profile and laughed at most of it but found points 2 3 and 4 a bit offensive. "

Just scrolled to that part, didn’t see it before as I couldn’t be arsed.

I can see what you mean, it’s not really needed on a profile, and you can understand why one wouldn’t gain success if they write things such as that. But clearly it works for some!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think your profile is absolutely brilliant!! You have personality and a sense of humour.

Unfortunately most on here treat people like pieces of meat. Fuck them and chuck them. Or just chuck them- as you've found out.

I don't think you will have any luck on here but don't be sad about that. Take it as a massive compliment. "

Well, you're being ridiculously kind, but you've come to the same conclusion as me.

And that's based on diligent research, not hangdog miserabilism ... I think I've now messaged everyone with 15 miles whose profile doesn't auto block me.

Hence my question regarding which unfortunate puddle of society I can go and bother next.

Thanks again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think your profile is absolutely brilliant!! You have personality and a sense of humour.

Unfortunately most on here treat people like pieces of meat. Fuck them and chuck them. Or just chuck them- as you've found out.

I don't think you will have any luck on here but don't be sad about that. Take it as a massive compliment.

Well, you're being ridiculously kind, but you've come to the same conclusion as me.

And that's based on diligent research, not hangdog miserabilism ... I think I've now messaged everyone with 15 miles whose profile doesn't auto block me.

Hence my question regarding which unfortunate puddle of society I can go and bother next.

Thanks again."

Instead of switching to different sites to see if your success increases.

Why not take some of the advice on board and change up your profile for a week or two and see if it improves on here for you? You might be surprised.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It's also down to the type of people you're looking to attract of course "

I'm trying to avoid Jeremy Kyle viewers.

Everyone else is fair game

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"The ??? should be go out to the pub or bar.

If you are looking to meet someone nice to get laid it will take significant effort and time on here.

It's far quicker, easier and more fun to go out and meet people in real life.

If you aren't looking to be part of the swinging scene and attend events you are probably wasting your time on here as a single guy. "

Fair comment ... thank you

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I faced the same two years back. I put a very upfront honest profile on POF saying that while not exactly a ‘player’ I’m no ‘angel’ either. Not looking for a full on relationship but crave serious female company. I had some criticism but some great messages also. Ended up meeting two gorgeous women and still meet for dates and great sex every now and then to this day. As ever - honesty pays."

Excellent

As one or two have noted, once you strip away the attempted humour and assorted nonsense, it's actually very honest

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Instead of switching to different sites to see if your success increases.

Why not take some of the advice on board and change up your profile for a week or two and see if it improves on here for you? You might be surprised."

Yes, good advice before abandoning ship, though I think I will put the advice here and elsewhere into a second profile. Thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Instead of switching to different sites to see if your success increases.

Why not take some of the advice on board and change up your profile for a week or two and see if it improves on here for you? You might be surprised.

Yes, good advice before abandoning ship, though I think I will put the advice here and elsewhere into a second profile. Thanks."

Good idea!

I’m a nosey sod so do come back and tell us how it goes if you like! Hope it works out!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Good idea!

I’m a nosey sod so do come back and tell us how it goes if you like! Hope it works out! "

Will do.

I shall try to roll myself in as much glitter as ethically possible

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Maybe you should book an escort."

Why??! What the actual fuck do you mean?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Good idea!

I’m a nosey sod so do come back and tell us how it goes if you like! Hope it works out!

Will do.

I shall try to roll myself in as much glitter as ethically possible"

Don't be yourself. Fit into the mould that people insist men should fit into. It's the only way to please the majority.

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By *otlovefun42Couple
over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...

Three weeks on site, unverified, awful pics, rambling profile, (although there are a few funny bits) and you wonder what's wrong?

Firstly single men of a certain age on here who have good profiles and great pics can go months without so much as a reply one here. Bottom line is that as you show up on here you haven't got a hope in hell.

A good start (but only a start) would be to trim the profile and get some decent pics.

Then you could move on to maybe looking at some socials, they are around if you look. Try this for a start:

https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/meets/777063

Clubs? I can understand that you don't want to go to local ones but there are plenty around Lancashire and Gtr Manchester. Go take a look.

What won't work is sitting at home waiting for a message (or reply to one of yours) on here.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Three weeks on site, unverified, awful pics, rambling profile, (although there are a few funny bits) and you wonder what's wrong?

Firstly single men of a certain age on here who have good profiles and great pics can go months without so much as a reply one here. Bottom line is that as you show up on here you haven't got a hope in hell.

A good start (but only a start) would be to trim the profile and get some decent pics.

Then you could move on to maybe looking at some socials, they are around if you look. Try this for a start:

https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/meets/777063

Clubs? I can understand that you don't want to go to local ones but there are plenty around Lancashire and Gtr Manchester. Go take a look.

What won't work is sitting at home waiting for a message (or reply to one of yours) on here."

Aw, bollocks ... reality.

I hate reality.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Lose the socks ..... eeeeeeee "

I always practise safe socks

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By *utie91Woman
over a year ago

Hitchin


"My first topic - apologies if it's an old chestnut.

This site: Although I've only been here a month, I don't think I'm going to get anywhere. I think that's realistic rather than self-pitying or defeatist. Tell me if I'm wrong. I joined after trying dating sites.

Dating sites: Most women of compatible age (with genuine profiles) are looking for a relationship, which is not what I want at present. It's not my moral code to string someone along dishonestly just for the opportunity of sex.

Alternatives?? Advice please, but just to pre-empt:

Clubs - I cannot do as my job has quite a profile in the community and my employment would be seriously compromised.

Thanks."

Yeah you can do clubs... everyone is discrete. We’re all there for the same reason.. me and my partner have professional high profile jobs and we don’t have a problem. Also.. no one can sack you for being a swinger.... just keep it off other social media. And no pics that identify where you work. When in a club you could even pretend you have a different job if you wanted

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By *adcat1961Woman
over a year ago

colchester

You really need better pictures can be really nice ones without showing your face but legs and socks don’t cut it also sorry to say nice to have someone write a bit more than a few lines but I lossed interest after the 10 line far to long you need to keep much shorter say what you have to offer and want and be patience all the best.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people will only like you if you fit in their little boxes.

It's ok to tell them to shove their boxes up their arse.

Brilliant profile. I cried laughing.

Keep being you. It's worth it's weight in gold.

I'd meet you for a pint in a heart beat if I was in UK

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By *sianMancMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Hilarious profile in parts.

Didn't read it all as it wasn't always funny but when it was it was dry humour well done.

You managed to get us all to read your profike whether a line or whether all.

Not sure if however you're going to find many bright sparks here that will either read your profile or even understand it.

If you want others that share your humour leave it on as I have done with my profile.

If you want anyone irrespective of them appreciating your humour but actually getting to know you then change your profile.

Clowns make us laugh but clowns are not the ones women race after for sex or a relationship.

My good fellow when women say they like a man with a good sense of humour they do not mean a clown nor someone that has only 1 string to his bow.

The pics are awful. The profile too convoluted. The grammar and reading tiring to the eyes.

You're going about it all wrong if female company or any company is what you seek.

Beyond that good luck to you and your online search whether it's for love sex attention or critique lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Some people will only like you if you fit in their little boxes.

It's ok to tell them to shove their boxes up their arse.

Brilliant profile. I cried laughing.

Keep being you. It's worth it's weight in gold.

I'd meet you for a pint in a heart beat if I was in UK "

Thanks for the kind words.

As for being me, I've considered being someone else, but no-one wants to swap.

Let me know as soon as you're in UK!!!!!

A recurring theme for me has been that I'm decent company but not shag material ... I'd suggest you'd need five pints at least.

I will continue the profile for the time being, if only as a monument to eccentric failure.

By the way, if anyone wants a box shoved up their arse, you know who to ask.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey have had two hot meets of POF! None on here

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hilarious profile in parts.

Didn't read it all as it wasn't always funny but when it was it was dry humour well done.

You managed to get us all to read your profike whether a line or whether all.

Not sure if however you're going to find many bright sparks here that will either read your profile or even understand it.

If you want others that share your humour leave it on as I have done with my profile.

If you want anyone irrespective of them appreciating your humour but actually getting to know you then change your profile.

Clowns make us laugh but clowns are not the ones women race after for sex or a relationship.

My good fellow when women say they like a man with a good sense of humour they do not mean a clown nor someone that has only 1 string to his bow.

The pics are awful. The profile too convoluted. The grammar and reading tiring to the eyes.

You're going about it all wrong if female company or any company is what you seek.

Beyond that good luck to you and your online search whether it's for love sex attention or critique lol"

Thanks for a thoughtful and realistic message Sameer.

I will write a 'functional' profile before I give up here, but I've realised I'm at the arse end of the single male lower echelon here and unlikely to find gold even with a polished version of me.

So, my OP was about the ??? alternatives and will think about the suggestions made.

Cheers!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hey have had two hot meets of POF! None on here "

I was on POF for a while and did ok in terms of message replies but as soon as I was up front about not wanting a relationship, the shutters came down faster than moustache man on 'I''m A Celebrity'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We like to read profiles as we expect the same. But wow.... how looooooong is yours.... cut it down and better photos. Am sure that would help

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By *educerMan
over a year ago

Brentwood

surprised to find Adrian Mole on here.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Give up i say, dont expect to get a meet here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A word of advice - your profile is you advertising yourself to the world and that world has a very short attention span especially if it is being bombarded with messages from hundreds of other advertisers. So ask yourself which ads work? Short, catchy, stylish, with pretty pictures usually is a good place to start and then you need to aim for the market you are interested in which means being focussed on what you are looking for. Now, once you have achieved that and if you are lucky enough to get a message don’t blow it by being weird or trying to be too clever. Be straight and simple and remember that some of the people on here have other interests too, and discussing movies, literature, holidays will give you a more rounded personality. After all that comes the hard part, you need to invest time and effort in messaging the persons you are interested in and be prepared for many rejections and the odd pleasant response. Don’t forget that the ratio of men to women on here is about 300:1 so you not only have the numbers to fight but some of the men on here are quite well groomed and fit and young. So, just to cheer you up a little, I have been on fab on and off for about five years and I’m that time I have flirted with many women and had two longish relationships and about five or six shorter flings. It’s been good and bad and I have walked away from it a number of times but it’s quite addictive. Anyway, if you get to the end of this you deserve that beer. Cheers

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill


"Lose the socks ..... eeeeeeee "

THIS!!!

I have to admit that your profile made me laugh a lot...

But, please lose the socks! Massive turnoff!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your profile made me laugh and actually I think your pictures are hilarious as well. That being said I wouldn't fuck you based on the pictures which is largely the point of this site.

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By *ames1763Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Yeah, I don't agree with a majority of the advices which tend to paint the picture that guys on this journey have no worth, you have already identified that you are not interested in relationships which is great , there are many ladies who think like you and are interested in you.

In my experience I would tell you the face to face party meets are the best, just attend a club party outside your area in another city , this will help you build confidence and give you multiple meets over time, it will also show you what you are doing wrong and help you navigate, attending socials also helps.

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By *idingawayCouple
over a year ago

Central


"It's also down to the type of people you're looking to attract of course

I'm trying to avoid Jeremy Kyle viewers.

Everyone else is fair game"

I think your brilliant. Keep up the hilarious profile. Someone will take you on one day

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It's great to be honest. It's also ideal to be realistic, which for a single man means that finding partners for sex here can be a challenge and it takes time to become established.

Use your profile and all public communication to promote and sell yourself, as the best are doing. Consider what your target partners are going to want to see and know of you. Then remove any other clutter to a personal blog or page.

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By *sianMancMan
over a year ago

Manchester


"Hilarious profile in parts.

Didn't read it all as it wasn't always funny but when it was it was dry humour well done.

You managed to get us all to read your profike whether a line or whether all.

Not sure if however you're going to find many bright sparks here that will either read your profile or even understand it.

If you want others that share your humour leave it on as I have done with my profile.

If you want anyone irrespective of them appreciating your humour but actually getting to know you then change your profile.

Clowns make us laugh but clowns are not the ones women race after for sex or a relationship.

My good fellow when women say they like a man with a good sense of humour they do not mean a clown nor someone that has only 1 string to his bow.

The pics are awful. The profile too convoluted. The grammar and reading tiring to the eyes.

You're going about it all wrong if female company or any company is what you seek.

Beyond that good luck to you and your online search whether it's for love sex attention or critique lol

Thanks for a thoughtful and realistic message Sameer.

I will write a 'functional' profile before I give up here, but I've realised I'm at the arse end of the single male lower echelon here and unlikely to find gold even with a polished version of me.

So, my OP was about the ??? alternatives and will think about the suggestions made.

Cheers!"

You're very welcome Geoff.

Don't be too hard on yourself and if you are to be hard on yourself do it in private. No need to vocalist it if on a forum.

Always lift your head up high and always do better than before.

We all have weaknesses and strengths hell this website though a business reveals alot of both in everyone. You may be at the bottom here but at the top else where or vice versa.

It matter a little if you have a goal a plan and a system of execution otherwise you'll drown in your own self efficacy.

This website is perhaps only a pit stop. Do not rely on it. Life is a journey as you know so get other there and live it and believe me when you live life and focus on your goal a women can't stop noticing you.

Like I said you have a sense of humour so I'm sure you have more that on a site as this may not be noticed appreciated or regarded.

Good luck to you!

Oh and I hardly ever come on to the forums. Maybe once every 6months lol so you somehow managed to get me to offer some words...well played!

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By *sianMancMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Excuse the typos.. I'm sure the substance came across fine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m probably repeating what others have said.

No offence but the photos are awful. Get some decent photos. Have a look at some of the guys in the forums profiles for ideas if necessary.

Although the humour in your profile is good, the length completely turned me off.

Chat on the forums.

Plus 3 weeks is nothing on here for a guy, patience is key.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't believe you never put ' if you've read this profile please include the words power washing a camel ' so I know you've read it

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By *bonynivoryCouple
over a year ago

market harborough

Where to start.

You understand the difference between a dating and swinging site? They are completely independent.

And why on earth do you think you are so much more important and high profile than other people that go to clubs. It isn't reported in the local press who attends you know. And I get the feeling other club members won't be so overawed by your presence they have to leave the club immediately, and give away their own secrets, just to say they've met YOU at a club.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Where to start.

You understand the difference between a dating and swinging site? They are completely independent.

And why on earth do you think you are so much more important and high profile than other people that go to clubs. It isn't reported in the local press who attends you know. And I get the feeling other club members won't be so overawed by your presence they have to leave the club immediately, and give away their own secrets, just to say they've met YOU at a club. "

The purpose of my OP was to ask for alternatives, having outlined my views on this site and dating sites.

I'm sorry if I was coming over as 'important', which I'm not, but my job has some characteristics which means that any sort of 'controversial' behaviour presents a significant risk of losing it. I'm in the local papers pretty regularly during the year, the job has a high element of what I will just call 'PR', and it's not popular with some. I'm planning to keep it until I retire so I have been very risk averse.

I was thinking that clubs are a way of meeting local people but on advice here will rethink that and consider clubs which are well away from home, as an end in itself.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Excuse the typos.. I'm sure the substance came across fine "

Thanks again Sameer

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Yeah, I don't agree with a majority of the advices which tend to paint the picture that guys on this journey have no worth, you have already identified that you are not interested in relationships which is great , there are many ladies who think like you and are interested in you.

In my experience I would tell you the face to face party meets are the best, just attend a club party outside your area in another city , this will help you build confidence and give you multiple meets over time, it will also show you what you are doing wrong and help you navigate, attending socials also helps."

Thank you James, I will have a good look and think about clubs elsewhere in UK

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Your profile made me laugh and actually I think your pictures are hilarious as well. That being said I wouldn't fuck you based on the pictures which is largely the point of this site. "

Fair comment!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"A word of advice - your profile is you advertising yourself to the world and that world has a very short attention span especially if it is being bombarded with messages from hundreds of other advertisers. So ask yourself which ads work? Short, catchy, stylish, with pretty pictures usually is a good place to start and then you need to aim for the market you are interested in which means being focussed on what you are looking for. Now, once you have achieved that and if you are lucky enough to get a message don’t blow it by being weird or trying to be too clever. Be straight and simple and remember that some of the people on here have other interests too, and discussing movies, literature, holidays will give you a more rounded personality. After all that comes the hard part, you need to invest time and effort in messaging the persons you are interested in and be prepared for many rejections and the odd pleasant response. Don’t forget that the ratio of men to women on here is about 300:1 so you not only have the numbers to fight but some of the men on here are quite well groomed and fit and young. So, just to cheer you up a little, I have been on fab on and off for about five years and I’m that time I have flirted with many women and had two longish relationships and about five or six shorter flings. It’s been good and bad and I have walked away from it a number of times but it’s quite addictive. Anyway, if you get to the end of this you deserve that beer. Cheers "

Thank you for your time with that MrJ, it's appreciated. I do intend to put up a second, more conformist profile to see if that makes a difference even though I think the odds are as heavily stacked against as you say. I'll also consider the other comments about ??? options ... including giving up! Maybe crown green bowling is more exciting than it looks?

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By *ait88Man
over a year ago

Plymouth

[Removed by poster at 01/08/18 01:08:10]

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By *ait88Man
over a year ago

Plymouth

Really great profile blog – very original!

Tell them all that they need to know in your first massage, rather than advertising it to the world at large. Upload face and full-length pics (kept private) to send to interesting people.

Your best chances for getting some action on this is probably with couples.

You will be in demand at local tea dances, sequence dances, and the like, where women outnumber men in your generation (they live longer).

Good luck.

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By *heDesiCandiTV/TS
over a year ago

… travelling

I think u should blog your experiences on the forum day by day - that should generate a lot more traffic to your profile. As for your profile/ it’s fun but needs an edit.

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By *entakuruMan
over a year ago

Exeter

It's quite amusing in places but the self-deprecation doesn't really work as people are gonna take it at face value. And nobody (well, hardly anyone) enjoys giving pity fucks so maybe change it a bit so there's a bit less 'poor me' and a bit more about what makes you interesting or worth getting in touch with.

Also maybe consider cutting it down by half, there's about a page and a bit of A4 there and I can imagine most people are gonna be thinking TL;DR by the first third or so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry its not a profile that would tempt me

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’m probably repeating what others have said.

No offence but the photos are awful. Get some decent photos. Have a look at some of the guys in the forums profiles for ideas if necessary.

Although the humour in your profile is good, the length completely turned me off.

Chat on the forums.

Plus 3 weeks is nothing on here for a guy, patience is key.

"

Thanks for that ... I am a patient person, but it will be tested here.

And with me, the length is always likely to be a turn off.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Really great profile blog – very original!

Tell them all that they need to know in your first massage, rather than advertising it to the world at large. Upload face and full-length pics (kept private) to send to interesting people.

Your best chances for getting some action on this is probably with couples.

You will be in demand at local tea dances, sequence dances, and the like, where women outnumber men in your generation (they live longer).

Good luck.

"

Thank you!

A couple is the dream ticket!

Tea dances ... interesting.

When should I ask the ladies whether they like their threesomes, MMF or FFM.

The waltz or the quick step?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sorry its not a profile that would tempt me"

A hidden profile would probably be more tempting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sorry its not a profile that would tempt me

A hidden profile would probably be more tempting."

Mine is yep

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

Funny I get nowhere on dating sites.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Funny I get nowhere on dating sites. "

If you'd said 'less interest on dating sites' then yeah I get that.

'Nowhere' is strange though ... unless nowhere is being messaged by hobbits, orcs and assorted spud faced undesirables.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Funny I get nowhere on dating sites.

If you'd said 'less interest on dating sites' then yeah I get that.

'Nowhere' is strange though ... unless nowhere is being messaged by hobbits, orcs and assorted spud faced undesirables."

Orcs maybe a improvement on here lol.

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By *ait88Man
over a year ago

Plymouth

This site = 300+ men for every woman?

vs

Dating site = 2 men for every woman? And when do you ask about threesomes?

vs

Dances = 3 women for every man! And they’ll teach you how to do it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep tea dances is the way forward - now if I can just sort out the two left feet problem

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I too would suggest that you would be much better off trying to meet people in real life.

Clubs are an option, it's very common for people to not visit their local clubs to avoid bumping into their friends/mother/boss so traveling a bit is normal... our nearest clubs are all about an hours drive anyway.

In my opinion though you'd probably have more success at vanilla events such as pubs, dances and bingo.

Cal

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I too would suggest that you would be much better off trying to meet people in real life.

Clubs are an option, it's very common for people to not visit their local clubs to avoid bumping into their friends/mother/boss so traveling a bit is normal... our nearest clubs are all about an hours drive anyway.

In my opinion though you'd probably have more success at vanilla events such as pubs, dances and bingo.

Cal"

Hi, thanks and yes I agree.

I'm going to look into the 'distant' option for clubs.

I'm hoping to explore the idea of a threesome until either I'm done with that or have given up on the idea.

At that point, the other options you mention come back into play, maybe also dating sites too, when I feel the time is right for a relationship.

I was doing ok regarding interest in the latter, but it evaporated when I said a relationship was off the cards, hence me trying here.

Thanks again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op

Look at socials at clubs where you can get your toe in the door!

Enjoy. X

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By *layfulCouple86Couple
over a year ago

Lancashire

So you have a pair of legs and possibly the longest profile that says absolutely sod all but ramblings! Nothing about what you have to offer and why people should meet you.

Ofcourse your going to struggle. Sort your pictures out (doesn't nessarilly have to show your face)

Rethink your profile text as it makes people switch off and should come with a TL:DR

People aren't particularly interested in half arsed efforts.

As others have said try a club a bit further afield for a social or do nothing about it an wonder why you've still not had a meet a year down the line.

Best of luck

Playful

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Where to start.

You understand the difference between a dating and swinging site? They are completely independent.

And why on earth do you think you are so much more important and high profile than other people that go to clubs. It isn't reported in the local press who attends you know. And I get the feeling other club members won't be so overawed by your presence they have to leave the club immediately, and give away their own secrets, just to say they've met YOU at a club. "
I disagree they have parallels you can't ignore..... You chat to each other to establish a mindset

You organise a meet/date

You meet and enjoy each others company could be sexually could be intellectually

You enjoy each others company so much you meet regularly

You fall in love and cohabitation

It's just the same omg

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So you have a pair of legs and possibly the longest profile that says absolutely sod all but ramblings! Nothing about what you have to offer and why people should meet you.

Ofcourse your going to struggle. Sort your pictures out (doesn't nessarilly have to show your face)

Rethink your profile text as it makes people switch off and should come with a TL:DR

People aren't particularly interested in half arsed efforts.

As others have said try a club a bit further afield for a social or do nothing about it an wonder why you've still not had a meet a year down the line.

Best of luck

Playful"

Thanks playful, sound advice.

As for luck, I will try to make my own, but I know I'm going to need it.

Cheers!

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By *urhamjayMan
over a year ago

Durham


"This site = 300+ men for every woman?

"

I wish I knew what the figures were.

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By *ait88Man
over a year ago

Plymouth

It varies from place-to-place and time-to-time.

Do two searches of advertisers within ten miles: one for all single males and the other for all single fems. Count the results for everyone who has been on line during the past week. Then you’ll know.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks to everyone who has commented, including the strongly critical ones. I've often said you learn the most from the harshest criticism. Anyway, here's my summation of the answers to the 'what next?' ??? question.

If I'm serious about getting anywhere with a 'threesome', I need to go to clubs. In my case, some distance away. A second path is to go to socials, and build up contacts and veris. Perhaps these can be closer to home.

Otherwise, I will struggle big time and am better off going to a pub/bar or bingo/dance. I see this as realistic but in the best case will result in a 1:1 thing, not something 'swinging'.

Otherwise try a sensibly 'honest' profile on POF. That's pretty much what mine was but maybe try again. Or give it up.

For what it's worth, I've rejigged the front end of my profile here, though it's still resolutely non-compliant with Official British Standard Profile 101.

Thanks all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Absolutely terrible photos "

What's wrong with black socks??!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

there are plenty of sex contact sites around where the women are just after sex but they probably have the same Male to female ratio as on here

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