FabSwingers.com forum: Being Autistic and being called retarded

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So earlier today, I tried to speak to someone in this site and it was because I didn't understand what she said, she said that I was retarded. As a man who's diagnosed with Autism, it's absolutely offensive and it literally got me infuriated over the disrespect she has given. And it's sad that I'm at a right disadvantage.

It's bad enough that I already accepted that my love life is down the shitter, but to get this from her? I'm honestly fuming right now. I'm sorry for the rant, but I just need morale support right now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Block and report her for abuse hunny x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She sounds a cunt and you had a lucky escape.

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By *lceeWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

People are fucking dicks. (I don’t mean that literally...I mean, I know they are, it’s probably why quite a few are on the site but I mean they are dicks in the metaphorical sense).

Block, report for abuse and move on. I don’t know where on the spectrum you are but I have two mates with Aspergers and they are both doing fine nowadays in the love life department. You’ll meet girls on here who aren’t auditioning for the world’s shittiest gal award.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

tell her shes got BO , her feet stink , her tits look like half deflated balloons and her breaht smells

that'll learn her

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

She called you retarded? She is the stupid one, not you. Autistic people are not stupid.

My son is autistic and the ignorance of some people makes my blood boil (not literally haha)

I hope you can not let the ignorant people affect you, OP.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

[Removed by poster at 26/07/18 14:06:18]

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Check out the secret tea party socials in London.

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By *AM2214Man
over a year ago

Manchester Area

By way of balanced support ...the site is for people to meet like minded folk for fun. Some have taken that fun forwards into full life relationships.

If the abuse was related to you comdition report as unacceptable behaviour. If related to wordsmith typo etc i get that all the time as i have dyslexia and get some abusive comments about being 'thick' I am happy that my various roles have proven i am anything but 'fikk as fook' as one wag termed me...

Take heart from the original support from ladies who seem like the sort of people we would all like to meet and buy a drink and have a great time laughing with each other.

One silly person won't ruin the site or your life ...don't become the victim of her ignorance and downright rudeness.

Good luck

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By *AM2214Man
over a year ago

Manchester Area

"She called you retarded? She is the stupid one, not you. Autistic people are not stupid.

My son is autistic and the ignorance of some people makes my blood boil (not literally haha)

I hope you can not let the ignorant people affect you, OP. "

Agreed!

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By *AM2214Man
over a year ago

Manchester Area

"People are fucking dicks. (I don’t mean that literally...I mean, I know they are, it’s probably why quite a few are on the site but I mean they are dicks in the metaphorical sense).

Gotta love a lass who says it how it is...naked axe murderers rake note

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By *uciyassMan
over a year ago

sheffield

I’d report them

As a father of an Aspergers son I know what it’s like to receive Criticism and insults from ignorant people. The rudeness and ignorance of some people in this day and age infuriates me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It might not be in relation to your... condition for want of a better word. It may have just been her reaction to the message. So from that respect I can only urge you to not take it as a personal attack due to your condition.

That said, there is never an acceptable time to call someone retarded or thick. If a message isn’t clear hen you can either ignore it or ask them to be clearer. For that part I would say block, report and don’t get too hung up on it - it’s her ignorance and impatience that is the problem. Not you.

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By *stwo80Couple
over a year ago

yorkshire

Just block her and move on .

If your love life is as you say "down the shitter" ,then do something about it constructively.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"She called you retarded? She is the stupid one, not you. Autistic people are not stupid.

My son is autistic and the ignorance of some people makes my blood boil (not literally haha)

I hope you can not let the ignorant people affect you, OP. "

I was just about to write something similar .. I have two ASD children, they have their differences but in their own ways, both brilliant.... Neither of them are in any way retarded...makes my piss fizz when people are so awful to each other ..

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By *ighland gentlemanMan
over a year ago

Ardgay

We're all on the spectrum somewhere.

Some of us are just more spectrumy than others!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So sorry hear this OP like the others have said u should report her as no matter what ur message said there is no need to use such an offensive and nasty term to someone, my son has adhd with austistic tendencies and my daughter has issues aswell but no diagnosis and if anyone called either of them a retard even if its jokingly i would get arrested for what i would do, but anyway get urself to some clubs that will help get ur confidence up buddy

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By *ojos party boyMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

Why should she be reported?

For using the word retarded?

Freedom of speech is in short supply on here...

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

"Why should she be reported?

For using the word retarded?

Freedom of speech is in short supply on here..."

I would think its not pleasant being called retarded.

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By *ojos party boyMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

"Why should she be reported?

For using the word retarded?

Freedom of speech is in short supply on here...

I would think its not pleasant being called retarded."

But its not reportable much like the mob on here seems to think it is...

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

As the mother of children with ADHD/ASD. ADHD & Dyslexic myself, I find the use of the R word, highly offensive.

But did the lady, not sure thst the right term really under the circumstances, know if your condition.

If she did, then she is way way out of line.

If not, judt consider you've had a lucky escape as would you really want to meet someone thst judgemental?

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By *ojos party boyMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

"As the mother of children with ADHD/ASD. ADHD & Dyslexic myself, I find the use of the R word, highly offensive.

But did the lady, not sure thst the right term really under the circumstances, know if your condition.

If she did, then she is way way out of line.

If not, judt consider you've had a lucky escape as would you really want to meet someone thst judgemental?

Its not entirely certain at this point...

It seems to be she just used it to be dismissive,

However upon reading his profile it mentions his condition.

Speculation

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By *icplshropsCouple
over a year ago

Rock

"Why should she be reported?

For using the word retarded?

Freedom of speech is in short supply on here..."

In that case, would you rate a racial slur ok, because it’s a form of ‘freedom of speech?’ Any derogatory term thrown at people is a sign of ignorance without any empathy towards the person.

OP: It pains me when people use these sort of terms. Unfortunately, people tend to use these terms, because they can’t think of anything better to say. It’s probably not due to your autism; she probably would say it to anyone. You are much better than her to recognise that it’s not acceptable to call anyone a name.

Being a daughter, sister and mother of people who have ASD, I understand how you must feel. Take it that you had a lucky escape.

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By *ojos party boyMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

"Why should she be reported?

For using the word retarded?

Freedom of speech is in short supply on here...

In that case, would you rate a racial slur ok, because it’s a form of ‘freedom of speech?’ Any derogatory term thrown at people is a sign of ignorance without any empathy towards the person.

Being a daughter, sister and mother of people who have ASD, I understand how you must feel. Take it that you had a lucky escape.

Lol i see a HUGE paralel to this girl being judged and called discriminatory & The Roseanne Barr situation....

Roseanne says something that could be considered racially motivated -

When she was unaware of the person she was mocking race...

This girl calls the guy a retard and she may not have even bothered to read his profile...

And....In terms of freedom of speech in terms of derogatory comments...

Have you not seen fab?

Where a black MAN is refered to as a BBC - An object? Not a human of certain descent...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That breaks my heart

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Honestly guys, I really appreciate the support right now. It's sad that there are self-righteous people out there and in here who are completely ignorant to the whole issue that I'm living with. Obviously my condition or this incident won't stop me from living life or even having fun in any sense even if it's sexual.

I'll never forget this ever and I have blocked her as well as reported her. Though in the end of the day, she just proved that she's not good enough for me based on her hubris. It's ironic that she has a master's degree and yet her ignorance just shows how foolish she is in the end lol

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By *ojos party boyMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

"Honestly guys, I really appreciate the support right now. It's sad that there are self-righteous people out there and in here who are completely ignorant to the whole issue that I'm living with. Obviously my condition or this incident won't stop me from living life or even having fun in any sense even if it's sexual.

Do you feel she had read your profile?

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"Why should she be reported?

For using the word retarded?

Freedom of speech is in short supply on here...

I would think its not pleasant being called retarded.

But its not reportable much like the mob on here seems to think it is...

Of course it’s reportable. You press the ‘report’ button. If you’d read the sites rules you’d have realised that abuse is not tolerated.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/07/18 18:52:23]

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

Why on Earth would anyone just call someone retarded.

The ‘I can say what I want as I get a billion messages’ women are almost as boring as the trolls on here.

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By *ojos party boyMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

"Why should she be reported?

For using the word retarded?

Freedom of speech is in short supply on here...

I would think its not pleasant being called retarded.

But its not reportable much like the mob on here seems to think it is...

Of course it’s reportable. You press the ‘report’ button. If you’d read the sites rules you’d have realised that abuse is not tolerated. "

the owners/admin are going to see that message and whatever preceeded it...

We've heard just this guys story not hers.

And as previously stated, If she has read His profile and said retard with hate after knowing his condition.

Or if she has simply said it dismissively to yet another single male on fab without reading the profile?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/07/18 18:53:44]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why should she be reported?

For using the word retarded?

Freedom of speech is in short supply on here...

In that case, would you rate a racial slur ok, because it’s a form of ‘freedom of speech?’ Any derogatory term thrown at people is a sign of ignorance without any empathy towards the person.

Being a daughter, sister and mother of people who have ASD, I understand how you must feel. Take it that you had a lucky escape.

Lol i see a HUGE paralel to this girl being judged and called discriminatory & The Roseanne Barr situation....

Roseanne says something that could be considered racially motivated -

When she was unaware of the person she was mocking race...

This girl calls the guy a retard and she may not have even bothered to read his profile...

And....In terms of freedom of speech in terms of derogatory comments...

Have you not seen fab?

Where a black MAN is refered to as a BBC - An object? Not a human of certain descent...

Can I just say firstly that Freedom of Speech is the rights to speak freely but to not promote hatred, violence or even malice towards a group or an individual. She was clearly malicious towards me and she should even KNEW about my Autism prior to our phone call because she read my profile several times now and it was mentioned afterwards. She was even abusive towards me, so I don't see how this is in line with free speech.

Now yes, there are people in Fabswingers who prefer white, black, etc. And that's based on personal preference. It's not racist to do so and it doesn't offend me. But it's just weaponising your colour for malicious gains that becomes completely racist.

Now to close this off, I strongly suggest that you don't bring your arrogance to this forum to satisfy your ego and more or less just show that you care. I've had a seriously shit day with that included and I don't need anything of this from you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's not nice. If you were a woman I'd definitely meet you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What does it matter if she read his profile or not its an offensive term to call someone thats the point here surely, the op has already stated the reason behind what happened !

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By *ojos party boyMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

"Why should she be reported?

For using the word retarded?

Freedom of speech is in short supply on here...

In that case, would you rate a racial slur ok, because it’s a form of ‘freedom of speech?’ Any derogatory term thrown at people is a sign of ignorance without any empathy towards the person.

Being a daughter, sister and mother of people who have ASD, I understand how you must feel. Take it that you had a lucky escape.

Lol i see a HUGE paralel to this girl being judged and called discriminatory & The Roseanne Barr situation....

Roseanne says something that could be considered racially motivated -

When she was unaware of the person she was mocking race...

This girl calls the guy a retard and she may not have even bothered to read his profile...

And....In terms of freedom of speech in terms of derogatory comments...

Have you not seen fab?

Where a black MAN is refered to as a BBC - An object? Not a human of certain descent...

Well we are in the uk...we don't have american free speech but nothing i said has been hateful...so get your facts right.

What was for the reason for her being malicious? If you have messaged several times and spoken on the phone? Perhaps you offended her? or contacted her too much?

you havent stated this information previous so saying "SHE WAS EVEN ABUSIVE TOWARDS ME" provides no context.

Normal regular people don't message someone multiple times, trade numbers then become abusive for no reason...as i stated i would like to hear her side of the story.

Weaponizing your colour? what does that even mean?

Referring to a black man as a BBC makes him a SEX OBJECT, The same way feminist were in arms about the black tie parties objectifying women...

My arrogance is called skepticism..It's healthy...

its actually the reason autism was identified as a disorder instead of the ole "demons in your brain" schmuck of old times.

I just wonder if the female you've drug through the dirt is actually in the wrong or if you've done something.

If your day was shit, don't depend on the comments of strangers on the internet to give you validation

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By *ojos party boyMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

"What does it matter if she read his profile or not its an offensive term to call someone thats the point here surely, the op has already stated the reason behind what happened ! "

read the roseanne comparison... theres being a dick and theres being a discriminatory/racist dick...

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By *imale38Man
over a year ago

Barnsley

"She called you retarded? She is the stupid one, not you. Autistic people are not stupid.

My son is autistic and the ignorance of some people makes my blood boil (not literally haha)

I hope you can not let the ignorant people affect you, OP. "

This is SO true. My son is also Autistic and also VERY brainy. Ignore the haters and don’t take it to heart op. I know that is easier said than done but you need to try.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You had a lucky escape then

Dust yourself off and smile. X

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By *ubble1959Couple
over a year ago

Huntingdon

Block and report her for being offensive, nobody’s perfect ??????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We're all on the spectrum somewhere.

Some of us are just more spectrumy than others!

What he said.

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

I have an Asperger’s friend that I met on here. He sometimes asks my opinion on what people mean in their messages. It’s easy to misunderstand what people mean when sending text messages.

You’ll find the right people who like you and want to meet you. There’s no place for people who don’t understand other people.

Good luck OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people are just ignorant scum. I've had it - I'm autistic and so is my nephew... it's out of order (and I would report it, personally) but it's a sad fact of life that there people like that out there. I know it's hard, but try not to take it too much to heart.

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By *heNerdyCyclistMan
over a year ago

MANCHESTER

I have aspergers.

She clearly has an lack of education.

Fuck that bitch off, dude.

Not worth your time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do people say I find it ‘offensive’ or I’m ‘offended’. Just say I don’t like it or I don’t like that, it has more substance, offensive is just ear piss....

I don’t like that you were called retarded and I understand why, (not empathise notice) it has got to you. You’re allowed to rant, you’re allowed to block, just ignore them and move on.

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By *hris 62Man
over a year ago

HEREFORD

Hi i know what you saying as i have dyslexia,and poeple do think that you not all there,

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