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Swinging with other partner

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

is it classed as cheating when a partner that played once with partner at home finds a new playing partner because th'ey're partner at home won't play anymore. The new playing partner was kept a secret .They only play together. Stayed night together.and was Kept a secret. The playing partner came to house secretly for a cuppa The other partner has told them both please stop it's upsetting me. They've continued.

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By *ongueNcheek33Couple
over a year ago

Manchester

Yes

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By *hickennchipsWoman
over a year ago

up above the streets and houses

Think so

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just got a headache reading that post

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think I worked out what your asking and anything behind a partners back without their knowledge is cheating

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By *100Man
over a year ago

Essex

Sorry what was the question again

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I know bit long winded question. So will ask again more briefly. If a partner is swinging behind a partners back with the same person and keeping it a secret having a night away secretly and still continuing after being told it's upsetting them . Is it cheating?

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By *ongueNcheek33Couple
over a year ago

Manchester

Still yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I know bit long winded question. So will ask again more briefly. If a partner is swinging behind a partners back with the same person and keeping it a secret having a night away secretly and still continuing after being told it's upsetting them . Is it cheating?"
100% yes.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

If someone is doing something to hurt their partner it's more than cheating.

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By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago

Dublin and London

Yes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If someone is doing something to hurt their partner it's more than cheating."
yup... But they go hand in hand often x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course its cheating, carn't understand why you asked.

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By *irty130Couple
over a year ago

Bristol Area

Wait. Were you in a relationship? Or just FB/FWB?

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By *el1977Man
over a year ago

leeds


"Just got a headache reading that post"

True story!!! ????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes it's cheating, and I know this sounds harsh but if you know about it and it's upsetting you, yet they are still doing it, then I think you need to be the one to make some decisions.

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

If anything is being kept a secret, then it is likely to be cheating.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I know bit long winded question. So will ask again more briefly. If a partner is swinging behind a partners back with the same person and keeping it a secret having a night away secretly and still continuing after being told it's upsetting them . Is it cheating?

"

If your swinging with your partner your both being honest...

If your not (for whatever reason) your being dishonest and cheating.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they are in a committed relationship it's cheating.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"is it classed as cheating when a partner that played once with partner at home finds a new playing partner because th'ey're partner at home won't play anymore. The new playing partner was kept a secret .They only play together. Stayed night together.and was Kept a secret. The playing partner came to house secretly for a cuppa The other partner has told them both please stop it's upsetting me. They've continued."

The secret is the problem so yes undoubtedly it's wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If they are in a committed relationship it's cheating.

"

Unless he’s upfront and tells her and she is ok with it beforehand

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yup thats 100% cheating

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By *idingawayCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow


"If they are in a committed relationship it's cheating."

Is it a relationship tho?

I thought fwb...

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By *nertsmateMan
over a year ago

Between Trumpton and Camberwick Green

Sounds to me like whatever it is, there's some serious talking to be done.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If they are in a committed relationship it's cheating.

Is it a relationship tho?

I thought fwb...

"

Maybe I read it wrong..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"is it classed as cheating when a partner that played once with partner at home finds a new playing partner because th'ey're partner at home won't play anymore. The new playing partner was kept a secret .They only play together. Stayed night together.and was Kept a secret. The playing partner came to house secretly for a cuppa The other partner has told them both please stop it's upsetting me. They've continued."

Yes it is, now Stop it

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By *bonynivoryCouple
over a year ago

market harborough


"I know bit long winded question. So will ask again more briefly. If a partner is swinging behind a partners back with the same person and keeping it a secret having a night away secretly and still continuing after being told it's upsetting them . Is it cheating?"

No its an affair.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Asking a question like that when you already know the,answer to it

Its cheating

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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago

Wherever the party is!


"is it classed as cheating when a partner that played once with partner at home finds a new playing partner because th'ey're partner at home won't play anymore. The new playing partner was kept a secret .They only play together. Stayed night together.and was Kept a secret. The playing partner came to house secretly for a cuppa The other partner has told them both please stop it's upsetting me. They've continued."

A (very rough) definition of cheating is whenever somebody does something that's outside of pre agreed rules.

So...the two things to ask are: 1) What rules did WE agree on and 2) Have we gone outside those rules?

I've given a general answer as I hope this not only helps the OP but others in similar situations.

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

If they are only doing it together, with no one else, then not only is it cheating...its not swinging either!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you don't think it is cheating, why are you keeping it a secret from your partner? Assuming you are the one cheating.

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By *affquestCouple
over a year ago

Rotherham

Yes it's deceitful, hurtful and it's cheating. It would finish my relationship because what we do we do together and takes honesty and trust. What you're doing breaks both.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is that not just an effair ..

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By *hell and jWoman
over a year ago

Worksop

If a swinging cpl need to cheat then something is wrong x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, and it makes you a prick when your partner has blatantly told you it's upsetting them and you do it anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"is it classed as cheating when a partner that played once with partner at home finds a new playing partner because th'ey're partner at home won't play anymore. The new playing partner was kept a secret .They only play together. Stayed night together.and was Kept a secret. The playing partner came to house secretly for a cuppa The other partner has told them both please stop it's upsetting me. They've continued."
yes and you know it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I know bit long winded question. So will ask again more briefly. If a partner is swinging behind a partners back with the same person and keeping it a secret having a night away secretly and still continuing after being told it's upsetting them . Is it cheating?"
thanks for breaking that down. I thought your first post was a mind bender . The answer is yes it's cheating .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I know bit long winded question. So will ask again more briefly. If a partner is swinging behind a partners back with the same person and keeping it a secret having a night away secretly and still continuing after being told it's upsetting them . Is it cheating?"
Do you think it is OP ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So basically a person in a vanilla relationship is having an affair in the affair relationship they are swinging...

That sounds like cheating squared to me.

What do you think OP?

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By *osweet69Couple
over a year ago

portsmouth

Not only is it cheating it is also very disrespectful. Op do you love the partner you are cheat on? (if it is you that you are writing about that is?)

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By *etLikeMan
over a year ago

most fundamental aspects

Even in most poly/open relationships this would be regarded unquestionably as cheating. Sometimes there are “don’t ask, don’t tell” agreements but these are negotiated and the partners still are aware this goes on or have agreed in advance for this to go on.

Ask yourself, would my partner be upset or angry if they found out? If the answer is yes, it’s definitely cheating.

One of the beauties of open relationships or swinging, is open communication. It’s liberating and can make couples stronger. What you’re doing is cherry picking the bits you want from the lifestyle.

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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago

the right frame of mind -London


"Just got a headache reading that post"

You're not the only one

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By *ORDERMANMan
over a year ago

wrexham

Simple question to ask yourself... What if the boot was on the other foot.. Would you like it

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Of course it's cheating

Especially if they have asked the person to stop and they continue.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/07/18 19:00:28]

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Sorry was a bit long winded trying to explain whole situation,to be honest confused myself .More briefly Male partner whom I live with has got another swinging partner trouble is they've only played with each other ..not what I agreed to and have met up secretly.Messaging each other etc. I've asked them to stop ,it's upsetting me .but they have continued because he insists it's not cheating.

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By *esi tardkaCouple
over a year ago

acton

Yes it cheating .. In this lifestyle why does one have to cheat be open and honest why don’t all three swing . More the merrier .

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By *ame-room-no-swapCouple
over a year ago

Taunton


"is it classed as cheating when a partner that played once with partner at home finds a new playing partner because th'ey're partner at home won't play anymore. The new playing partner was kept a secret .They only play together. Stayed night together.and was Kept a secret. The playing partner came to house secretly for a cuppa The other partner has told them both please stop it's upsetting me. They've continued."

Is the verification new or old playing partner ?

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By *affquestCouple
over a year ago

Rotherham


"Sorry was a bit long winded trying to explain whole situation,to be honest confused myself .More briefly Male partner whom I live with has got another swinging partner trouble is they've only played with each other ..not what I agreed to and have met up secretly.Messaging each other etc. I've asked them to stop ,it's upsetting me .but they have continued because he insists it's not cheating."
. They're having an affair. They're meeting and messaging each other in secret and only sleep with each other. You deserve better. The deceit and lies would be the end for me. He's hurting you and he knows it but doesn't care about your feeling. That's not swinging neither is it a loving partner.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

can we go 50/50 or phone a friend

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman
over a year ago

Deviant City

Definitely cheating, he's having an affair. They're also not swinging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course it's cheating, you obviously know that or you wouldn't be asking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"can we go 50/50 or phone a friend"
no

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By *oxesMan
over a year ago

Southend, Essex


"is it classed as cheating when a partner that played once with partner at home finds a new playing partner because th'ey're partner at home won't play anymore. The new playing partner was kept a secret .They only play together. Stayed night together.and was Kept a secret. The playing partner came to house secretly for a cuppa The other partner has told them both please stop it's upsetting me. They've continued."

Well when think about it and examine the evidence

Accounting all facts

what i mean is if we look

At what you said

And therefore deduce the meaning of what you wrote

If we look at what you meant

Oh sod it i can't remember what i was going to write.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"is it classed as cheating when a partner that played once with partner at home finds a new playing partner because th'ey're partner at home won't play anymore. The new playing partner was kept a secret .They only play together. Stayed night together.and was Kept a secret. The playing partner came to house secretly for a cuppa The other partner has told them both please stop it's upsetting me. They've continued.

Well when think about it and examine the evidence

Accounting all facts

what i mean is if we look

At what you said

And therefore deduce the meaning of what you wrote

If we look at what you meant

Oh sod it i can't remember what i was going to write."
he and his other FB are cheating on the original FB I think maybe

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