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Pool of quality is very small

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I've been searching for a "fuck buddy", for a while.

I am disappointed to see,when I reject someone,the gents don't take it on the chin and move on.

Amount of abuse I've been getting is unreal.

What has happened?? Are we not all adults??

Rejection is not nice But my god no need for verbal abuse.

Red

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Classic rejection retort...*pokes bottom lip out and say ‘I didn’t want you anyway’.

Block and move on. If people can’t take rejection on chin on a site like this then they may as well leave...

Better to say ‘no worries, have fun’ and move on...you can’t fit to everyone’s taste.

Plus they’ve got to remember, they have messaged you, so you haven’t asked for them to message, so it’s unsolicited....do mailing companies get pissed off when all 1000 people they sent a mail to don’t reply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/07/18 11:41:19]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you say when you reject them?

The thread title suggests you are rude to them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just say, not for us thanks happy fabbing that's all we put.

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By *alking DisasterWoman
over a year ago

South Oxfordshire


"What do you say when you reject them?

The thread title suggests you are rude to them."

The thread title says that the pool of decent men is small. Her OP states she rejects them.

Why do you automatically assume she's being rude in her rejecting?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What do you say when you reject them?

The thread title suggests you are rude to them.

The thread title says that the pool of decent men is small. Her OP states she rejects them.

Why do you automatically assume she's being rude in her rejecting?"

I'm not assuming. I said it suggests. It is a question.

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By *etLikeMan
over a year ago

most fundamental aspects

Even though I’ve been on the scene for quite some time, occasionally a knock back can dent my confidence a little. I move on, as much as I might mutter to myself for the five minutes after a rejection.

Some are not as self aware and have fragile egos. That’s when they resort to abuse to make them feel better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best thing to do is say no thank you and block, before they can send a reply.

Saves all the drama.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What do you say when you reject them?

The thread title suggests you are rude to them.

The thread title says that the pool of decent men is small. Her OP states she rejects them.

Why do you automatically assume she's being rude in her rejecting?

I'm not assuming. I said it suggests. It is a question. "

From the couple of years I have been on this scene,I can honestly say I've never been rude when rejecting.

Always polite.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I must say though, that I give them a chance to reply and I don't get the abuse that so many other women get. I've been trying to work out why, for years now. All I've come up with is they message me out of desperation and they aren't really bothered when I say no.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve never understood this reaction. I just reply with a no probs, take care kind of thing and move on. What’s the point of anything else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What do you say when you reject them?

The thread title suggests you are rude to them.

The thread title says that the pool of decent men is small. Her OP states she rejects them.

Why do you automatically assume she's being rude in her rejecting?

I'm not assuming. I said it suggests. It is a question.

From the couple of years I have been on this scene,I can honestly say I've never been rude when rejecting.

Always polite.

"

Then I'd say the abuse directly correlates with their disappointment. I don't get abuse when I reject- no doubt they see it as a lucky escape.

They will be gutted you said no thanks. It seems weird but take it as a compliment.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

This is why I so often don't reply. I don't want to deal with the abuse. A lot of guys here (by no means all) think all they have to do is bring themselves to my attention and I'll come running to service their needs. Last I checked I'm a person capable of consenting (or not) just like anyone else, and (just like anyone else) I need more of a reason than "this person is nearby/ horny/ in possession of a penis"? Heavens above, I'm so demanding.

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By *etLikeMan
over a year ago

most fundamental aspects

I’ve just read through your profile. It’s positive about what you want and if a genuine (that word again) guy actually reads it, then he should understand.

Bad rejection reactions just show you had a lucky escape or showed good judgement before it got to the meet stage

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By *etLikeMan
over a year ago

most fundamental aspects

[Removed by poster at 15/07/18 12:00:47]

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"I've been searching for a "fuck buddy", for a while.

I am disappointed to see,when I reject someone,the gents don't take it on the chin and move on.

Amount of abuse I've been getting is unreal.

What has happened?? Are we not all adults??

Rejection is not nice But my god no need for verbal abuse.

Red "

Too many gents feel entitled and have the ‘it’s a sex site ffs’ attitude. These men are dingbats and not even worth a thought! Block and report the abusers!

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By *etLikeMan
over a year ago

most fundamental aspects


"I must say though, that I give them a chance to reply and I don't get the abuse that so many other women get. I've been trying to work out why, for years now. All I've come up with is they message me out of desperation and they aren't really bothered when I say no. "

I’ve never messaged you but...Feel free to say no to me any time

Which kinda came out wrong

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I must say though, that I give them a chance to reply and I don't get the abuse that so many other women get. I've been trying to work out why, for years now. All I've come up with is they message me out of desperation and they aren't really bothered when I say no. "

Depends on what you say to them.

They may have been expecting a rejection and were happy to receive a reply at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guys are dicks, I'd know I'm one of them

Maybe it's worth just making a personal note on their profile when they aren't your type, send them a polite "Thanks but no thanks", and then block them straight away?

C

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By *r Normally KinkyMan
over a year ago

Somerset

i get knocked back all the time i just shurg and think fair shout, im not everyones cup of tea.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just say, not for us thanks happy fabbing that's all we put."

Its nice you actually do that, a lot of women/couples i’ve tried to interact with just straight up ignore you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I try and respond to all the mail.

Polite message.

Trust me it is time consuming.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I seem to get fewer cockwombles with the latest iterations of my profile. Most are perfectly pleasant when I say ‘No thanks’. I explain less too. Perhaps you’ve just been unlucky recently?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been searching for a "fuck buddy", for a while.

I am disappointed to see,when I reject someone,the gents don't take it on the chin and move on.

Amount of abuse I've been getting is unreal.

Sadly there are some men that make us all look bad xx

What has happened?? Are we not all adults??

Rejection is not nice But my god no need for verbal abuse.

Red "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *r Normally KinkyMan
over a year ago

Somerset


"I try and respond to all the mail.

Polite message.

Trust me it is time consuming."

i just think im to damm kinky for them anyway

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I try and respond to all the mail.

Polite message.

Trust me it is time consuming.

i just think im to damm kinky for them anyway"

Definately kinky

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By *r Normally KinkyMan
over a year ago

Somerset


"I try and respond to all the mail.

Polite message.

Trust me it is time consuming.

i just think im to damm kinky for them anyway

Definately kinky "

is there any other way . im so kinky im sometimes come across scary to myself

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By *etLikeMan
over a year ago

most fundamental aspects


"I try and respond to all the mail.

Polite message.

Trust me it is time consuming."

I used to do that too. Now only those that have taken the effort to write more than a one liner get that courtesy.

I worry I might be too kinky for some too btw

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By *alking DisasterWoman
over a year ago

South Oxfordshire


"Just say, not for us thanks happy fabbing that's all we put.

Its nice you actually do that, a lot of women/couples i’ve tried to interact with just straight up ignore you."

We can't win. If we reply, we get abuse (from some, not all). If we don't respond (as per the FAB faq) we are rude.

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By *rontmanMan
over a year ago

Derby and often London

Even I had that off a bloke once! Was hilarious to be honest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just say, not for us thanks happy fabbing that's all we put.

Its nice you actually do that, a lot of women/couples i’ve tried to interact with just straight up ignore you.

We can't win. If we reply, we get abuse (from some, not all). If we don't respond (as per the FAB faq) we are rude."

I never said it was rude, I just pointed out a polite no is nice...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why not put at the beginning of the profile that a no answer should or be seen as a not interested

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Why not put at the beginning of the profile that a no answer should or be seen as a not interested

"

Because it's already in the site rules.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I must say though, that I give them a chance to reply and I don't get the abuse that so many other women get. I've been trying to work out why, for years now. All I've come up with is they message me out of desperation and they aren't really bothered when I say no.

Depends on what you say to them.

They may have been expecting a rejection and were happy to receive a reply at all. "

I either say no thank you or not what I'm looking for sorry.

Occasionally, if they look interesting I'll point out that they don't accommodate, because some do, but don't advertise it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/07/18 13:20:03]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I try and respond to all the mail.

Polite message.

Trust me it is time consuming.

i just think im to damm kinky for them anyway"

No such thing.....

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By *alking DisasterWoman
over a year ago

South Oxfordshire


"Just say, not for us thanks happy fabbing that's all we put.

Its nice you actually do that, a lot of women/couples i’ve tried to interact with just straight up ignore you.

We can't win. If we reply, we get abuse (from some, not all). If we don't respond (as per the FAB faq) we are rude.

I never said it was rude, I just pointed out a polite no is nice..."

How am I meant to know if you are someone who is going to send me abuse? But not replying, that means I won't get any.

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By *alking DisasterWoman
over a year ago

South Oxfordshire


"Why not put at the beginning of the profile that a no answer should or be seen as a not interested

"

I do.

Apparently it's still seen as rude.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The devil is in the detail kiddies

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We've probably had three rude messages in our entire time on here.

If anyone is getting them frequently I think it would be wise to take preventative action and either reply turning people down and block immediately or don't reply at all and block.

I like to take the route that causes me leady stress in all areas of my life

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By *amesB66Man
over a year ago

St Peter Port


"Just say, not for us thanks happy fabbing that's all we put."

Viscious

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been searching for a "fuck buddy", for a while.

I am disappointed to see,when I reject someone,the gents don't take it on the chin and move on.

Amount of abuse I've been getting is unreal.

What has happened?? Are we not all adults??

Rejection is not nice But my god no need for verbal abuse.

Red "
suppose a lot to do with it is how you reject them but only you and him know that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just say, not for us thanks happy fabbing that's all we put.

Its nice you actually do that, a lot of women/couples i’ve tried to interact with just straight up ignore you.

We can't win. If we reply, we get abuse (from some, not all). If we don't respond (as per the FAB faq) we are rude.

I never said it was rude, I just pointed out a polite no is nice...

How am I meant to know if you are someone who is going to send me abuse? But not replying, that means I won't get any."

What has any of that got to do with me saying the other couple above are nice for doing it? My comment was not to you, yet you seemed to have taken offence to it and i’m not quite sure why? sorry if I offended you complimenting someone else

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By *hips n FursMan
over a year ago

Huddersfield


"I've been searching for a "fuck buddy", for a while.

I am disappointed to see,when I reject someone,the gents don't take it on the chin and move on.

Amount of abuse I've been getting is unreal.

What has happened?? Are we not all adults??

Rejection is not nice But my god no need for verbal abuse.

Red "

So what do you put in the first message you send to them to get things going.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been searching for a "fuck buddy", for a while.

I am disappointed to see,when I reject someone,the gents don't take it on the chin and move on.

Amount of abuse I've been getting is unreal.

What has happened?? Are we not all adults??

Rejection is not nice But my god no need for verbal abuse.

Red "

Can I ask how you reject them x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not very good at regection. Not very good at messaging in the first place either! So don’t actually get rejected too much.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve never had abuse after saying no thanks, but I do sometimes get multiple responses back saying “why? Please give me a chance”, “it will be worth your while”, “I guarantee I’m better than the people who have verified you”, etc. I never understand why. If you’ve said you’re not interested, then further messages will only cement that

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’ve never had abuse after saying no thanks, but I do sometimes get multiple responses back saying “why? Please give me a chance”, “it will be worth your while”, “I guarantee I’m better than the people who have verified you”, etc. I never understand why. If you’ve said you’re not interested, then further messages will only cement that "

I totally agree ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve never had abuse after saying no thanks, but I do sometimes get multiple responses back saying “why? Please give me a chance”, “it will be worth your while”, “I guarantee I’m better than the people who have verified you”, etc. I never understand why. If you’ve said you’re not interested, then further messages will only cement that

I totally agree ... "
I don't... So there

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"I've been searching for a "fuck buddy", for a while.

I am disappointed to see,when I reject someone,the gents don't take it on the chin and move on.

Amount of abuse I've been getting is unreal.

What has happened?? Are we not all adults??

Rejection is not nice But my god no need for verbal abuse.

Red "

but when you title a thread that mentions "quality" you are absolutely going to get peoples backs up....

you may be rarer.... sure,

quality in itself is subjective!!!

you may be in a better position to pick, but being the picker doesn't make you any better than the people you pick......

sometimes it is better to show humility and just let is slide like water off a ducks back...

but the title does you absolutely no favours in regards to the context of your post.....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've tried being polite and I still receive abuse, or loads of messages asking me why I'm saying no. They just need to grow up and accept our reply.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been searching for a "fuck buddy", for a while.

I am disappointed to see,when I reject someone,the gents don't take it on the chin and move on.

Amount of abuse I've been getting is unreal.

What has happened?? Are we not all adults??

Rejection is not nice But my god no need for verbal abuse.

Red "

If they react with abuse then it proves you right with your instincts, just reply with that and block and move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've tried being polite and I still receive abuse, or loads of messages asking me why I'm saying no. They just need to grow up and accept our reply."
I can't I tell you that arse is so sexy I must have it

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By *alking DisasterWoman
over a year ago

South Oxfordshire


"Just say, not for us thanks happy fabbing that's all we put.

Its nice you actually do that, a lot of women/couples i’ve tried to interact with just straight up ignore you.

We can't win. If we reply, we get abuse (from some, not all). If we don't respond (as per the FAB faq) we are rude.

I never said it was rude, I just pointed out a polite no is nice...

How am I meant to know if you are someone who is going to send me abuse? But not replying, that means I won't get any.

What has any of that got to do with me saying the other couple above are nice for doing it? My comment was not to you, yet you seemed to have taken offence to it and i’m not quite sure why? sorry if I offended you complimenting someone else "

I'm fed up of people complaining about no responses.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've tried being polite and I still receive abuse, or loads of messages asking me why I'm saying no. They just need to grow up and accept our reply."

Me too, now I block after saying thanks but no thanks

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By *r_PinkMan
over a year ago

london stratford

It baffles me why other men do that.

Take me for instance, the few emails I do send tend to be ignored, so when I get a reply, even a rejection, I am grateful that the person/couple have actually bothered.

So I tend to reply to the rejects by saying "sorry I am not your type, but thanks for replying and good luck in finding what you are looking for.

To date I have never had a nasty rude rejection yet, but we shall cross that bridge when we come to it I suppose!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm struggling to find anyone I like too tbh

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It baffles me why other men do that.

Take me for instance, the few emails I do send tend to be ignored, so when I get a reply, even a rejection, I am grateful that the person/couple have actually bothered.

So I tend to reply to the rejects by saying "sorry I am not your type, but thanks for replying and good luck in finding what you are looking for.

To date I have never had a nasty rude rejection yet, but we shall cross that bridge when we come to it I suppose!

"

Most men who I have said no to,are nice and reply saying thanks for replying even if it's a no.

Manners don't cost anything.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I've been searching for a "fuck buddy", for a while.

I am disappointed to see,when I reject someone,the gents don't take it on the chin and move on.

Amount of abuse I've been getting is unreal.

What has happened?? Are we not all adults??

Rejection is not nice But my god no need for verbal abuse.

Red

but when you title a thread that mentions "quality" you are absolutely going to get peoples backs up....

you may be rarer.... sure,

quality in itself is subjective!!!

you may be in a better position to pick, but being the picker doesn't make you any better than the people you pick......

sometimes it is better to show humility and just let is slide like water off a ducks back...

but the title does you absolutely no favours in regards to the context of your post.....

"

I don't believe quality is subjective.

Manners and respect shouldn't be an option but a necessity even on a swingers site.

As for the title yeah Because you can't have quality on this site.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've tried being polite and I still receive abuse, or loads of messages asking me why I'm saying no. They just need to grow up and accept our reply.I can't I tell you that arse is so sexy I must have it "

Patience is a virtue darling

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I would assume the op isnt using the site tools available to her. Send a no thankyou press the block button and hey ho no drama. But then people wouldnt be able to come on the forums and complain

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I would assume the op isnt using the site tools available to her. Send a no thankyou press the block button and hey ho no drama. But then people wouldnt be able to come on the forums and complain"

Your assumption is wrong.

Filters to the teeth.

And I use the block button also.

It's still is a problem.

Hey ho no drama still exists.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"I would assume the op isnt using the site tools available to her. Send a no thankyou press the block button and hey ho no drama. But then people wouldnt be able to come on the forums and complain

Your assumption is wrong.

Filters to the teeth.

And I use the block button also.

It's still is a problem.

Hey ho no drama still exists.

"
how are you able to get abuse back from a no thankyou if youve blocked them?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"

I don't believe quality is subjective.

Manners and respect shouldn't be an option but a necessity even on a swingers site.

As for the title yeah Because you can't have quality on this site.

"

absolutely quality is subjective, because you defination and my defination of that word and how it relates here are going to be different.... if fact i'll go even further, if you were to ask 100 people i bet no 2 definations of the word would be the same (unless you prompted them)

i am not saying you can't have quality (your definition) but to use it in this context is debatable....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would assume the op isnt using the site tools available to her. Send a no thankyou press the block button and hey ho no drama. But then people wouldnt be able to come on the forums and complain

Your assumption is wrong.

Filters to the teeth.

And I use the block button also.

It's still is a problem.

Hey ho no drama still exists.

how are you able to get abuse back from a no thankyou if youve blocked them?"

I would still like to know how she rejects them x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been searching for a "fuck buddy", for a while.

I am disappointed to see,when I reject someone,the gents don't take it on the chin and move on.

Amount of abuse I've been getting is unreal.

What has happened?? Are we not all adults??

Rejection is not nice But my god no need for verbal abuse.

Red

but when you title a thread that mentions "quality" you are absolutely going to get peoples backs up....

you may be rarer.... sure,

quality in itself is subjective!!!

you may be in a better position to pick, but being the picker doesn't make you any better than the people you pick......

sometimes it is better to show humility and just let is slide like water off a ducks back...

but the title does you absolutely no favours in regards to the context of your post.....

I don't believe quality is subjective.

Manners and respect shouldn't be an option but a necessity even on a swingers site.

As for the title yeah Because you can't have quality on this site.

"

Do you mean quality as in looks ... or respectful people?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good luck in your search OP, I’m sure you will find someone on here one day.

#staystrong

#keepthefaith

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hope OP finds men of the quality she demands. But wow. Talk about having a massive ego.

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds

I'm pretty certain .. in the time I've been here .. let me think ...

yep this type of thread has been covered before..

So several options

1. Delete block move on.

2. Reply delete block move on

3. Reply and see what happens move on

4. Block all in coming messages from genders and proactively search yourself

5. Continue as you were

Other options are available.

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By *lan157Man
over a year ago

a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex

I am going to suggest that the pool of quality is actually quite large ( but maybe not in Ireland where swinging has not really taken off) . The actual problem might be that as a generalisation single women only respond to messages they get rather than seeking out profiles of men that might be eminently suitable. Their "pool" is therefore weighted by the poor quality messaging of those who fancy their chances despite not really meeting a woman's requirements. I go to clubs with my female partner and there she can choose someone suitable for her if a single male or in the case of ourselves a couple after seeing or talking.I am not saying we message single guys from searching profiles but that it might be a solution for those who feel they are fishing in a small pool.

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By *agermeisterMan
over a year ago

Leeds

Men have huge but fragile egos

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Men have huge but fragile egos "

Yes, we are not individuals but are one collective unit.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Respect and manners go a long way.

"Thank you for the message Not interested Good luck "

And for that I get verbal abuse.

Like I said aren't we all adults.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hope OP finds men of the quality she demands. But wow. Talk about having a massive ego. "

Having a massive ego because I am yet again baffled by adults who give verbal abuse because of rejection??

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"Respect and manners go a long way.

"Thank you for the message Not interested Good luck "

And for that I get verbal abuse.

Like I said aren't we all adults."
you havent answered how you get abuse if youve used the block button

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hope OP finds men of the quality she demands. But wow. Talk about having a massive ego.

Having a massive ego because I am yet again baffled by adults who give verbal abuse because of rejection??

"

As others have said why not reply then block them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Respect and manners go a long way.

"Thank you for the message Not interested Good luck "

And for that I get verbal abuse.

Like I said aren't we all adults.you havent answered how you get abuse if youve used the block button"

I decline with my no thank you message and next thing get verbal abusive reply.

Of course I use the block button.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"Hope OP finds men of the quality she demands. But wow. Talk about having a massive ego.

Having a massive ego because I am yet again baffled by adults who give verbal abuse because of rejection??

As others have said why not reply then block them. "
apparently she does. So im still waiting to find out how she gets the abuse

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"Respect and manners go a long way.

"Thank you for the message Not interested Good luck "

And for that I get verbal abuse.

Like I said aren't we all adults.you havent answered how you get abuse if youve used the block button

I decline with my no thank you message and next thing get verbal abusive reply.

Of course I use the block button.

"
so how are they getting through the block

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been searching for a "fuck buddy", for a while.

I am disappointed to see,when I reject someone,the gents don't take it on the chin and move on.

Amount of abuse I've been getting is unreal.

What has happened?? Are we not all adults??

Rejection is not nice But my god no need for verbal abuse.

Red

but when you title a thread that mentions "quality" you are absolutely going to get peoples backs up....

you may be rarer.... sure,

quality in itself is subjective!!!

you may be in a better position to pick, but being the picker doesn't make you any better than the people you pick......

sometimes it is better to show humility and just let is slide like water off a ducks back...

but the title does you absolutely no favours in regards to the context of your post.....

I don't believe quality is subjective.

Manners and respect shouldn't be an option but a necessity even on a swingers site.

As for the title yeah Because you can't have quality on this site.

"

You need to remember that your opinion based on limited interaction and a brief profile description is subjective by definition.

There are tomes of research on how first impressions are invariably wrong and this backs up my personal experience in my professional and day to day life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would assume the op isnt using the site tools available to her. Send a no thankyou press the block button and hey ho no drama. But then people wouldnt be able to come on the forums and complain

Your assumption is wrong.

Filters to the teeth.

And I use the block button also.

It's still is a problem.

Hey ho no drama still exists.

"

It's only drama if you make it so.

Case in point, this thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Respect and manners go a long way.

"Thank you for the message Not interested Good luck "

And for that I get verbal abuse.

Like I said aren't we all adults."

No need for verbal abuse but 'not interested' is very blunt. I'd expect a rude reply if I said that to someone.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

There was a thread awhile ago on the forums where women where saying how they reject men and i can certainky see how they would attract abuse

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Respect and manners go a long way.

"Thank you for the message Not interested Good luck "

And for that I get verbal abuse.

Like I said aren't we all adults.

No need for verbal abuse but 'not interested' is very blunt. I'd expect a rude reply if I said that to someone. "

And the four words before that go unread.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"There was a thread awhile ago on the forums where women where saying how they reject men and i can certainky see how they would attract abuse"

Giving a polite answer is a certainty it will attract abuse.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"There was a thread awhile ago on the forums where women where saying how they reject men and i can certainky see how they would attract abuse

Giving a polite answer is a certainty it will attract abuse.

"
not if youve blocked

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"There was a thread awhile ago on the forums where women where saying how they reject men and i can certainky see how they would attract abuse

Giving a polite answer is a certainty it will attract abuse.

not if youve blocked "

Thanks for the advice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"not interested" does have a harsh tone to it.

Try to adjust your responses and see if it's works better. You are here lamenting a lack of manners after all and I presume you want constructive feedback and not a soapbox.

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By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish

Seen a few posts like this re abuse after rejection. Always seem to attract the same ladies who pipe up with 'I never get any abuse' Victim shaming at its best!! Way to go sisters....

Abuse is never acceptable but certainly says more about them than you OP. Rise above it OP. Just shows that you were right to reject them. You obviously hurt their fragile egos.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"Seen a few posts like this re abuse after rejection. Always seem to attract the same ladies who pipe up with 'I never get any abuse' Victim shaming at its best!! Way to go sisters....

Abuse is never acceptable but certainly says more about them than you OP. Rise above it OP. Just shows that you were right to reject them. You obviously hurt their fragile egos."
no one is victim shaming. Its called common sense. Nobody should be abused but there is a simple way to stop it. Why do you think the women that go on about dont get abuse? Because they use the site tools thats why.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Seen a few posts like this re abuse after rejection. Always seem to attract the same ladies who pipe up with 'I never get any abuse' Victim shaming at its best!! Way to go sisters....

Abuse is never acceptable but certainly says more about them than you OP. Rise above it OP. Just shows that you were right to reject them. You obviously hurt their fragile egos.no one is victim shaming. Its called common sense. Nobody should be abused but there is a simple way to stop it. Why do you think the women that go on about dont get abuse? Because they use the site tools thats why."

Victim shaming

Fragile Ego

We've almost filled the post modernist buzzword bingo card.

I just need "privilege".

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By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish


"Seen a few posts like this re abuse after rejection. Always seem to attract the same ladies who pipe up with 'I never get any abuse' Victim shaming at its best!! Way to go sisters....

Abuse is never acceptable but certainly says more about them than you OP. Rise above it OP. Just shows that you were right to reject them. You obviously hurt their fragile egos.no one is victim shaming. Its called common sense. Nobody should be abused but there is a simple way to stop it. Why do you think the women that go on about dont get abuse? Because they use the site tools thats why."

What site tools could I use to stop the unsolicited abuse that I used to get as a single fem on here? Strange I dont get it as a couple. ...and people wonder why single fems leave.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree.

I’ve had all sorts from threats, racism, abuse about what I look like, to “Never wanted to fuck you anyway”.

It’s quite pathetic that there are fully grown men out there who feel the need to send abuse to a woman because she politely says she’s not interested.

I just don’t reply to those I’m not interested in now, but even that isn’t foolproof as some will abuse you for being “rude” or “no manners”.

Rejection is terribly painful for some it seems!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think there’s an element of feeding the ego in this thread, having a dig at men with the title ( that isn’t relevant to the actual thread)and creating an issue where there isn’t one, if you simply block someone you are not interested in, end of story, don’t reply, it’s simple.

Yeah, a lot of men act like petulant kids, when they’ve been rejected and there’s no excuse for abuse of any kind, but that’s what the block button is for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess the answer is to stoically accept that it is the overreaction of an underdeveloped personality and rise above it.

Otherwise it's two sides of the same coin...their offense at rejection and yours at childish counterabuse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Respect and manners go a long way.

"Thank you for the message Not interested Good luck "

And for that I get verbal abuse.

Like I said aren't we all adults.

No need for verbal abuse but 'not interested' is very blunt. I'd expect a rude reply if I said that to someone.

And the four words before that go unread. "

Try "Thank you for your message. You seem great but not what I'm looking for, sorry. Hope you find someone nice. xx"

Copy and paste so you're not wasting time typing it all out.

I use variations on that. Some reply to ask "why" but I don't reply again because I already said no thank you.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"Seen a few posts like this re abuse after rejection. Always seem to attract the same ladies who pipe up with 'I never get any abuse' Victim shaming at its best!! Way to go sisters....

Abuse is never acceptable but certainly says more about them than you OP. Rise above it OP. Just shows that you were right to reject them. You obviously hurt their fragile egos.no one is victim shaming. Its called common sense. Nobody should be abused but there is a simple way to stop it. Why do you think the women that go on about dont get abuse? Because they use the site tools thats why.

What site tools could I use to stop the unsolicited abuse that I used to get as a single fem on here? Strange I dont get it as a couple. ...and people wonder why single fems leave."
if i got the abuse some say they get(i dont disbelieve them) i would have been long gone. I wouldnt have hung around

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Respect and manners go a long way.

"Thank you for the message Not interested Good luck "

And for that I get verbal abuse.

Like I said aren't we all adults.you havent answered how you get abuse if youve used the block button"

There are crazy weirdos out here who will make a second or even third profile just to send you abuse and then block you.

I have had this myself twice.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Respect and manners go a long way.

"Thank you for the message Not interested Good luck "

And for that I get verbal abuse.

Like I said aren't we all adults.you havent answered how you get abuse if youve used the block button

There are crazy weirdos out here who will make a second or even third profile just to send you abuse and then block you.

I have had this myself twice.

"

I've had this several times.

Gone as far as contacting the guards.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We used to reply to all messages, but now if we’re not interested we just delete, due to recieving abuse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There was a thread awhile ago on the forums where women where saying how they reject men and i can certainky see how they would attract abuse

Giving a polite answer is a certainty it will attract abuse.

not if youve blocked

Thanks for the advice "

I’m amazed that people are actually blaming you for receiving abuse.

I’m polite in my responses and to those I’ve not been interested I’ve said “Thank you for your message but you aren’t what I’m looking for sorry. Good luck in your search! X”

Yet a message like that got me abuse.

Maybe people should stop focusing on the way people reply to someone they’re not interested in and more on the fact there are headcases on here who will send the nastiest abuse because they’ve been politely rejected.

The problem lies with the person being rejected not the person rejecting.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"There was a thread awhile ago on the forums where women where saying how they reject men and i can certainky see how they would attract abuse

Giving a polite answer is a certainty it will attract abuse.

not if youve blocked

Thanks for the advice

I’m amazed that people are actually blaming you for receiving abuse.

I’m polite in my responses and to those I’ve not been interested I’ve said “Thank you for your message but you aren’t what I’m looking for sorry. Good luck in your search! X”

Yet a message like that got me abuse.

Maybe people should stop focusing on the way people reply to someone they’re not interested in and more on the fact there are headcases on here who will send the nastiest abuse because they’ve been politely rejected.

The problem lies with the person being rejected not the person rejecting. "

Nothing surprises me anymore on here.

I am with you on this one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Respect and manners go a long way.

"Thank you for the message Not interested Good luck "

And for that I get verbal abuse.

Like I said aren't we all adults.you havent answered how you get abuse if youve used the block button

There are crazy weirdos out here who will make a second or even third profile just to send you abuse and then block you.

I have had this myself twice.

I've had this several times.

Gone as far as contacting the guards.

"

It’s crazy. I haven’t been on here long but some of the messages I’ve received I’ve wondered if it’s the norm.

Of course we can block newbies, but not all newbies are like the ones making fake profiles to send us abuse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There was a thread awhile ago on the forums where women where saying how they reject men and i can certainky see how they would attract abuse

Giving a polite answer is a certainty it will attract abuse.

not if youve blocked

Thanks for the advice

I’m amazed that people are actually blaming you for receiving abuse.

I’m polite in my responses and to those I’ve not been interested I’ve said “Thank you for your message but you aren’t what I’m looking for sorry. Good luck in your search! X”

Yet a message like that got me abuse.

Maybe people should stop focusing on the way people reply to someone they’re not interested in and more on the fact there are headcases on here who will send the nastiest abuse because they’ve been politely rejected.

The problem lies with the person being rejected not the person rejecting.

Nothing surprises me anymore on here.

I am with you on this one.

"

It’s madness that anyone would blame you or look for fault in your messages as to why someone would send abuse.

Unless you’ve told them to fuck off, there is absolutely no reason for anyone to send abuse if they’ve been rejected.

If some are so fragile that they can’t take a “Not interested but thanks for your message” reply or similar, maybe it’s best they don’t do the messaging!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"Respect and manners go a long way.

"Thank you for the message Not interested Good luck "

And for that I get verbal abuse.

Like I said aren't we all adults.you havent answered how you get abuse if youve used the block button

There are crazy weirdos out here who will make a second or even third profile just to send you abuse and then block you.

I have had this myself twice.

I've had this several times.

Gone as far as contacting the guards.

"
and what did they say

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

The site has a report system. If someone is getting abuse and reports them i think it is two strikes and they are out. They also work well with the police for those that have had to report to the police. There is a seperate address for them to liason with the police

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"The site has a report system. If someone is getting abuse and reports them i think it is two strikes and they are out. They also work well with the police for those that have had to report to the police. There is a seperate address for them to liason with the police"

As far as I know there isn't anything like that for Ireland.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"The site has a report system. If someone is getting abuse and reports them i think it is two strikes and they are out. They also work well with the police for those that have had to report to the police. There is a seperate address for them to liason with the police

As far as I know there isn't anything like that for Ireland.

"
i didnt realize you where in ireland but you could contact them and ask

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Respect and manners go a long way.

"Thank you for the message Not interested Good luck "

And for that I get verbal abuse.

Like I said aren't we all adults.you havent answered how you get abuse if youve used the block button

There are crazy weirdos out here who will make a second or even third profile just to send you abuse and then block you.

I have had this myself twice.

"

some good advice here. It’s not you, it’s the other party. ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT!

Some people really can’t take no for an answer and refuse to see anything but you as wrong. I just delete messages. Making Multiple profiles to get round blocks does happen and I suggest you screen shot, date and save any nasty messages or stalking behaviour, as well as reporting it to admin. Some people are sad, lonely, d-heads and won’t change, don’t try to reason with them or engage with such behaviour.

There are many other lovely people on here so move into them. I’m sure you’ll have no problems meeting sane, respectable Fabbers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Respect and manners go a long way.

"Thank you for the message Not interested Good luck "

And for that I get verbal abuse.

Like I said aren't we all adults.you havent answered how you get abuse if youve used the block button

There are crazy weirdos out here who will make a second or even third profile just to send you abuse and then block you.

I have had this myself twice.

some good advice here. It’s not you, it’s the other party. ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT!

Some people really can’t take no for an answer and refuse to see anything but you as wrong. I just delete messages. Making Multiple profiles to get round blocks does happen and I suggest you screen shot, date and save any nasty messages or stalking behaviour, as well as reporting it to admin. Some people are sad, lonely, d-heads and won’t change, don’t try to reason with them or engage with such behaviour.

There are many other lovely people on here so move into them. I’m sure you’ll have no problems meeting sane, respectable Fabbers. "

Agreed. I’ve spoken to some fantastic people in my 3 weeks of membership and they far outweigh the bad ones!

Definitely addicted to this place already.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Respect and manners go a long way.

"Thank you for the message Not interested Good luck "

And for that I get verbal abuse.

Like I said aren't we all adults.you havent answered how you get abuse if youve used the block button

There are crazy weirdos out here who will make a second or even third profile just to send you abuse and then block you.

I have had this myself twice.

some good advice here. It’s not you, it’s the other party. ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT!

Some people really can’t take no for an answer and refuse to see anything but you as wrong. I just delete messages. Making Multiple profiles to get round blocks does happen and I suggest you screen shot, date and save any nasty messages or stalking behaviour, as well as reporting it to admin. Some people are sad, lonely, d-heads and won’t change, don’t try to reason with them or engage with such behaviour.

There are many other lovely people on here so move into them. I’m sure you’ll have no problems meeting sane, respectable Fabbers. "

I have thick skin but sometimes just gets to you,Espeacially when I am always respectful.

Thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only worry about what you can control

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive been on here a while. Still not met anyone had plenty of knock backs lol. But hey I understand I'm not everyone's cup of tea. There's certainly no need for abuse. But I do think manners go a long way. I do appreciate a reply to at least be acknowledged.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith


"I've been searching for a "fuck buddy", for a while.

I am disappointed to see,when I reject someone,the gents don't take it on the chin and move on.

Amount of abuse I've been getting is unreal.

What has happened?? Are we not all adults??

Rejection is not nice But my god no need for verbal abuse.

Red "

I’ve received many rejections in here, it’s fine, we can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, I just block and move on. Simples

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"Seen a few posts like this re abuse after rejection. Always seem to attract the same ladies who pipe up with 'I never get any abuse' Victim shaming at its best!! Way to go sisters....

Abuse is never acceptable but certainly says more about them than you OP. Rise above it OP. Just shows that you were right to reject them. You obviously hurt their fragile egos.no one is victim shaming. Its called common sense. Nobody should be abused but there is a simple way to stop it. Why do you think the women that go on about dont get abuse? Because they use the site tools thats why.

What site tools could I use to stop the unsolicited abuse that I used to get as a single fem on here? Strange I dont get it as a couple. ...and people wonder why single fems leave."

well you could put on the single male bar and then you are in control of who you contact....

i know... women doing the hunting!!! its such a radical suggestion!!!

the site does give you the tools... if you want to use them!

then you can make the first move and contact all the "quality" you want to your hearts content..... job done!

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By *iffaWoman
over a year ago

wherever

Unfortunately its part and parcel of being here. The internet attracts strange people. The angry messages don’t bother me anymore you get used to them.

I don’t reply a lot so that cuts down on them. And I don’t give 2 fucks if people think non replies are rude

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By *adcat1961Woman
over a year ago

colchester

The amount I get try to be polite in my reply’s and gets all sorts of abuse like you can’t fancy eveyone, thay give all the charm then some get quite scary still my block button well worn out.makes you think what thay May have been like if you had met up and you said or done somthing that thay don’t like.The other think no means no and thay keep messaging thinking your to change your mind this is why woman just delete messages lot less hussle not nice but when you get few messages like this a day drives you crazy,where are all the polite genuine guys who know how to talk to woman , had one message the other day no hello no nothing saying can I go over there now he wanted to eat my arse like really

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Seen a few posts like this re abuse after rejection. Always seem to attract the same ladies who pipe up with 'I never get any abuse' Victim shaming at its best!! Way to go sisters....

Abuse is never acceptable but certainly says more about them than you OP. Rise above it OP. Just shows that you were right to reject them. You obviously hurt their fragile egos.no one is victim shaming. Its called common sense. Nobody should be abused but there is a simple way to stop it. Why do you think the women that go on about dont get abuse? Because they use the site tools thats why.

What site tools could I use to stop the unsolicited abuse that I used to get as a single fem on here? Strange I dont get it as a couple. ...and people wonder why single fems leave.

well you could put on the single male bar and then you are in control of who you contact....

i know... women doing the hunting!!! its such a radical suggestion!!!

the site does give you the tools... if you want to use them!

then you can make the first move and contact all the "quality" you want to your hearts content..... job done!"

It would be a shame to block all males because of a minority. The search facilities aren’t great on here so having men, who I probably haven’t come across, unable to contact me wouldn’t be ideal. I’d have missed out on some great people.

Just ignore, block and move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Seen a few posts like this re abuse after rejection. Always seem to attract the same ladies who pipe up with 'I never get any abuse' Victim shaming at its best!! Way to go sisters....

Abuse is never acceptable but certainly says more about them than you OP. Rise above it OP. Just shows that you were right to reject them. You obviously hurt their fragile egos.no one is victim shaming. Its called common sense. Nobody should be abused but there is a simple way to stop it. Why do you think the women that go on about dont get abuse? Because they use the site tools thats why.

What site tools could I use to stop the unsolicited abuse that I used to get as a single fem on here? Strange I dont get it as a couple. ...and people wonder why single fems leave.

well you could put on the single male bar and then you are in control of who you contact....

i know... women doing the hunting!!! its such a radical suggestion!!!

the site does give you the tools... if you want to use them!

then you can make the first move and contact all the "quality" you want to your hearts content..... job done!

It would be a shame to block all males because of a minority. The search facilities aren’t great on here so having men, who I probably haven’t come across, unable to contact me wouldn’t be ideal. I’d have missed out on some great people.

Just ignore, block and move on. "

Why do that when you can start a forum discussion about it??!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Seen a few posts like this re abuse after rejection. Always seem to attract the same ladies who pipe up with 'I never get any abuse' Victim shaming at its best!! Way to go sisters....

Abuse is never acceptable but certainly says more about them than you OP. Rise above it OP. Just shows that you were right to reject them. You obviously hurt their fragile egos.no one is victim shaming. Its called common sense. Nobody should be abused but there is a simple way to stop it. Why do you think the women that go on about dont get abuse? Because they use the site tools thats why.

What site tools could I use to stop the unsolicited abuse that I used to get as a single fem on here? Strange I dont get it as a couple. ...and people wonder why single fems leave.

well you could put on the single male bar and then you are in control of who you contact....

i know... women doing the hunting!!! its such a radical suggestion!!!

the site does give you the tools... if you want to use them!

then you can make the first move and contact all the "quality" you want to your hearts content..... job done!

It would be a shame to block all males because of a minority. The search facilities aren’t great on here so having men, who I probably haven’t come across, unable to contact me wouldn’t be ideal. I’d have missed out on some great people.

Just ignore, block and move on.

Why do that when you can start a forum discussion about it??!! "

Imagine if no-one started a discussion #ohsoquiet.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Seen a few posts like this re abuse after rejection. Always seem to attract the same ladies who pipe up with 'I never get any abuse' Victim shaming at its best!! Way to go sisters....

Abuse is never acceptable but certainly says more about them than you OP. Rise above it OP. Just shows that you were right to reject them. You obviously hurt their fragile egos.no one is victim shaming. Its called common sense. Nobody should be abused but there is a simple way to stop it. Why do you think the women that go on about dont get abuse? Because they use the site tools thats why.

What site tools could I use to stop the unsolicited abuse that I used to get as a single fem on here? Strange I dont get it as a couple. ...and people wonder why single fems leave.

well you could put on the single male bar and then you are in control of who you contact....

i know... women doing the hunting!!! its such a radical suggestion!!!

the site does give you the tools... if you want to use them!

then you can make the first move and contact all the "quality" you want to your hearts content..... job done!

It would be a shame to block all males because of a minority. The search facilities aren’t great on here so having men, who I probably haven’t come across, unable to contact me wouldn’t be ideal. I’d have missed out on some great people.

Just ignore, block and move on.

Why do that when you can start a forum discussion about it??!!

Imagine if no-one started a discussion #ohsoquiet. "

Imagine using the filters and site tools to prevent unwanted attention #ohsosimple

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Why do that when you can start a forum discussion about it??!! "

I’ve started a thread about a cat shitting on my door, maybe you can leave some snide comments on there !

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Why do that when you can start a forum discussion about it??!!

I’ve started a thread about a cat shitting on my door, maybe you can leave some snide comments on there !"

Meaning?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Why do that when you can start a forum discussion about it??!!

I’ve started a thread about a cat shitting on my door, maybe you can leave some snide comments on there !"

But then we wouldn't have drama.

Life would be soo boring.

#peopleneeddrama

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Why do that when you can start a forum discussion about it??!!

I’ve started a thread about a cat shitting on my door, maybe you can leave some snide comments on there !

Meaning?"

Meaning, the OP is free to start a thread about what she likes.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Why do that when you can start a forum discussion about it??!!

I’ve started a thread about a cat shitting on my door, maybe you can leave some snide comments on there !

Meaning?

Meaning, the OP is free to start a thread about what she likes. "

Ergo I am free to post my opinion without any gallantry from any white knight.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Seen a few posts like this re abuse after rejection. Always seem to attract the same ladies who pipe up with 'I never get any abuse' Victim shaming at its best!! Way to go sisters....

Abuse is never acceptable but certainly says more about them than you OP. Rise above it OP. Just shows that you were right to reject them. You obviously hurt their fragile egos.no one is victim shaming. Its called common sense. Nobody should be abused but there is a simple way to stop it. Why do you think the women that go on about dont get abuse? Because they use the site tools thats why.

What site tools could I use to stop the unsolicited abuse that I used to get as a single fem on here? Strange I dont get it as a couple. ...and people wonder why single fems leave.

well you could put on the single male bar and then you are in control of who you contact....

i know... women doing the hunting!!! its such a radical suggestion!!!

the site does give you the tools... if you want to use them!

then you can make the first move and contact all the "quality" you want to your hearts content..... job done!

It would be a shame to block all males because of a minority. The search facilities aren’t great on here so having men, who I probably haven’t come across, unable to contact me wouldn’t be ideal. I’d have missed out on some great people.

Just ignore, block and move on.

Why do that when you can start a forum discussion about it??!!

Imagine if no-one started a discussion #ohsoquiet.

Imagine using the filters and site tools to prevent unwanted attention #ohsosimple"

The filters don’t come with ‘dickhead removal’ option

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Why do that when you can start a forum discussion about it??!!

I’ve started a thread about a cat shitting on my door, maybe you can leave some snide comments on there !

Meaning?

Meaning, the OP is free to start a thread about what she likes.

Ergo I am free to post my opinion without any gallantry from any white knight."

Hardly, you just sound like you’ve been blown out by the OP and are being passive aggressive about it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Why do that when you can start a forum discussion about it??!!

I’ve started a thread about a cat shitting on my door, maybe you can leave some snide comments on there !

Meaning?

Meaning, the OP is free to start a thread about what she likes.

Ergo I am free to post my opinion without any gallantry from any white knight.

Hardly, you just sound like you’ve been blown out by the OP and are being passive aggressive about it. "

Not me fella-I have had zero contact with OP

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

What happened there ??

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Why do that when you can start a forum discussion about it??!!

I’ve started a thread about a cat shitting on my door, maybe you can leave some snide comments on there !

Meaning?

Meaning, the OP is free to start a thread about what she likes.

Ergo I am free to post my opinion without any gallantry from any white knight.

Hardly, you just sound like you’ve been blown out by the OP and are being passive aggressive about it. "

UNLOS

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Another one bites the dust

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Another one bites the dust "

What did you do OP ?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Why do that when you can start a forum discussion about it??!!

I’ve started a thread about a cat shitting on my door, maybe you can leave some snide comments on there !

But then we wouldn't have drama.

Life would be soo boring.

#peopleneeddrama

"

I think it's just you Donna

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Why do that when you can start a forum discussion about it??!!

I’ve started a thread about a cat shitting on my door, maybe you can leave some snide comments on there !

But then we wouldn't have drama.

Life would be soo boring.

#peopleneeddrama

I think it's just you Donna "

Ah no it's not me.

I avoid drama like the pest.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been searching for a "fuck buddy", for a while.

I am disappointed to see,when I reject someone,the gents don't take it on the chin and move on.

Amount of abuse I've been getting is unreal.

What has happened?? Are we not all adults??

Rejection is not nice But my god no need for verbal abuse.

Red "

I’ve been to your part of Ireland and there is more Sheep than people....

Unless you are willing to travel to Derry, you better get yourself a ram...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Unfortunately its part and parcel of being here. The internet attracts strange people. The angry messages don’t bother me anymore you get used to them.

I don’t reply a lot so that cuts down on them. And I don’t give 2 fucks if people think non replies are rude "

that is how i feel too. i usually just say, "good luck on your search."

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *not69Man
over a year ago

Lancashire

I recently got rejected when I invited a lady to join me at a party, she replied that I'm not for her. My respose was to thank her for replying and that I hope she found what she was looking for. I then left it and thought nothing more about it.

A few hours later I got a message of her stating that if I hadn't found anyone to go with then she would like to go with me after all. We attended the party on Saturday and had a brilliant night.

It really does pay to be polite xx

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been searching for a "fuck buddy", for a while.

I am disappointed to see,when I reject someone,the gents don't take it on the chin and move on.

Amount of abuse I've been getting is unreal.

What has happened?? Are we not all adults??

Rejection is not nice But my god no need for verbal abuse.

Red "

It's unfortunate but that's fab and if we take it personally then it can really upset us. You like all of us have the right to not be abused by others.

It's them that have the problem you are not the problem.

This is the only way to look at it, as is said before block and move on.

Some of us guys are true gents so don't be disheartened wait for a great fwb to come along and enjoy the site with true respectful swingers. Xx

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire


"I’ve never had abuse after saying no thanks, but I do sometimes get multiple responses back saying “why? Please give me a chance”, “it will be worth your while”, “I guarantee I’m better than the people who have verified you”, etc. I never understand why. If you’ve said you’re not interested, then further messages will only cement that "

The ‘better than those you’ve met’ line absolutely infuriates me.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve never had abuse after saying no thanks, but I do sometimes get multiple responses back saying “why? Please give me a chance”, “it will be worth your while”, “I guarantee I’m better than the people who have verified you”, etc. I never understand why. If you’ve said you’re not interested, then further messages will only cement that

The ‘better than those you’ve met’ line absolutely infuriates me.

"

Men really are that pathetic, wow ?!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've tried being polite and I still receive abuse, or loads of messages asking me why I'm saying no. They just need to grow up and accept our reply.I can't I tell you that arse is so sexy I must have it

Patience is a virtue darling "
Hey I'm a very patient man x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I often get a thank you back for the very polite rejection. On occasion someone can take it badly but I’m learning to use the block button.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve never had abuse after saying no thanks, but I do sometimes get multiple responses back saying “why? Please give me a chance”, “it will be worth your while”, “I guarantee I’m better than the people who have verified you”, etc. I never understand why. If you’ve said you’re not interested, then further messages will only cement that

The ‘better than those you’ve met’ line absolutely infuriates me.

"

That line makes me laugh.

Like, how do they know they’re better than the ones I’ve met?

Another one that makes me giggle is “I could fuck you better than all the other guys”

Delusional is an understatement.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *tace 309TV/TS
over a year ago

durham


"I've been searching for a "fuck buddy", for a while.

I am disappointed to see,when I reject someone,the gents don't take it on the chin and move on.

Amount of abuse I've been getting is unreal.

What has happened?? Are we not all adults??

Rejection is not nice But my god no need for verbal abuse.

Red "
people can take me or leave me .I'm here for me no one else

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I’ve never had abuse after saying no thanks, but I do sometimes get multiple responses back saying “why? Please give me a chance”, “it will be worth your while”, “I guarantee I’m better than the people who have verified you”, etc. I never understand why. If you’ve said you’re not interested, then further messages will only cement that

The ‘better than those you’ve met’ line absolutely infuriates me.

That line makes me laugh.

Like, how do they know they’re better than the ones I’ve met?

Another one that makes me giggle is “I could fuck you better than all the other guys”

Delusional is an understatement. "

I'm always tempted to reply that it's certainly possible, but if someone can't accept my no online then there's no way I'm taking my chances with them in bed.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The way I see it

Manners is everything on here and real life and have to take it on the chin when rejected

That’s what makes us the individuals we are

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I actually prefer a "No thank you" message to the standard no response what so ever. At least I know where I stand then. I would certainly then not send abuse.

Due to the sheer statistics of this site, it's hard for us normal respectable polite blokes. But we have to remember it is a game and not to take rejection personally.

1St rule of playing "everyone has the right to say no" and "no means no!!"

P.s."_naswingdress", I dream of you just opening my messages. That would be a success lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *jl1972Man
over a year ago

Bournemouth

On the occasions I have sent messages it hasn't bothered me if I don't get a reply. I wouldn't expect someone who probably gets dozens of messages every day to reply to every one of them. The replys that I have had have always been polite and been appreciated.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I actually prefer a "No thank you" message to the standard no response what so ever. At least I know where I stand then. I would certainly then not send abuse.

Due to the sheer statistics of this site, it's hard for us normal respectable polite blokes. But we have to remember it is a game and not to take rejection personally.

1St rule of playing "everyone has the right to say no" and "no means no!!"

P.s."_naswingdress", I dream of you just opening my messages. That would be a success lol"

Surely you know where you stand if someone reads your messsged and deletes it?

That’s a pretty clear indicator they aren’t interested in my opinion.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"I actually prefer a "No thank you" message to the standard no response what so ever. At least I know where I stand then. I would certainly then not send abuse.

Due to the sheer statistics of this site, it's hard for us normal respectable polite blokes. But we have to remember it is a game and not to take rejection personally.

1St rule of playing "everyone has the right to say no" and "no means no!!"

P.s."_naswingdress", I dream of you just opening my messages. That would be a success lol

Surely you know where you stand if someone reads your messsged and deletes it?

That’s a pretty clear indicator they aren’t interested in my opinion. "

Precisely. I never understand why people want to receive messages that essentially say. "sorry, I don't find you attractive".

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely, of deleted it us clear and I'm not complaining about not getting a reply.

It is just refreshing and polite to get a nice "no thanks and good luck".

Women wish men to be polite and take the effort to write more than a few words. A reply of a couple of words is therefore surely not too much to ask for those men who have made the effort xx

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *alking DisasterWoman
over a year ago

South Oxfordshire


"I actually prefer a "No thank you" message to the standard no response what so ever. At least I know where I stand then. I would certainly then not send abuse.

Due to the sheer statistics of this site, it's hard for us normal respectable polite blokes. But we have to remember it is a game and not to take rejection personally.

1St rule of playing "everyone has the right to say no" and "no means no!!"

P.s."_naswingdress", I dream of you just opening my messages. That would be a success lol"

How do you not know where you stand with a no reply?

A no reply means not interested.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *alking DisasterWoman
over a year ago

South Oxfordshire


"Definitely, of deleted it us clear and I'm not complaining about not getting a reply.

It is just refreshing and polite to get a nice "no thanks and good luck".

Women wish men to be polite and take the effort to write more than a few words. A reply of a couple of words is therefore surely not too much to ask for those men who have made the effort xx

"

Most men don't make any effort and do cut and paste messages (some are so good, you can't tell until the next time you get it).

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Definitely, of deleted it us clear and I'm not complaining about not getting a reply.

It is just refreshing and polite to get a nice "no thanks and good luck".

Women wish men to be polite and take the effort to write more than a few words. A reply of a couple of words is therefore surely not too much to ask for those men who have made the effort xx

Most men don't make any effort and do cut and paste messages (some are so good, you can't tell until the next time you get it)."

GeneralisationR Us

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *alking DisasterWoman
over a year ago

South Oxfordshire


"Definitely, of deleted it us clear and I'm not complaining about not getting a reply.

It is just refreshing and polite to get a nice "no thanks and good luck".

Women wish men to be polite and take the effort to write more than a few words. A reply of a couple of words is therefore surely not too much to ask for those men who have made the effort xx

Most men don't make any effort and do cut and paste messages (some are so good, you can't tell until the next time you get it).

GeneralisationR Us"

Ok then 90% of the long form message (ie not a FAF or Hi) that I receive are cut and paste.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Definitely, of deleted it us clear and I'm not complaining about not getting a reply.

It is just refreshing and polite to get a nice "no thanks and good luck".

Women wish men to be polite and take the effort to write more than a few words. A reply of a couple of words is therefore surely not too much to ask for those men who have made the effort xx

Most men don't make any effort and do cut and paste messages (some are so good, you can't tell until the next time you get it)."

There are a lot who do copy and paste jobs, I wouldn’t say most though.

What’s funny is when they do the copy and paste job three or four times in a few days not realising Site Supporters can see previous messages...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"Definitely, of deleted it us clear and I'm not complaining about not getting a reply.

It is just refreshing and polite to get a nice "no thanks and good luck".

Women wish men to be polite and take the effort to write more than a few words. A reply of a couple of words is therefore surely not too much to ask for those men who have made the effort xx

Most men don't make any effort and do cut and paste messages (some are so good, you can't tell until the next time you get it).

GeneralisationR Us"

Yes, that's why they said. "most".

Our experience is that around eighty to ninety per cent of messages we get from single men are either cut and paste or of the. "wanna fuck?" type.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been searching for a "fuck buddy", for a while.

I am disappointed to see,when I reject someone,the gents don't take it on the chin and move on.

Amount of abuse I've been getting is unreal.

What has happened?? Are we not all adults??

Rejection is not nice But my god no need for verbal abuse.

Red "

... and they wonder why people don't reply to messages!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve never had abuse after saying no thanks, but I do sometimes get multiple responses back saying “why? Please give me a chance”, “it will be worth your while”, “I guarantee I’m better than the people who have verified you”, etc. I never understand why. If you’ve said you’re not interested, then further messages will only cement that

The ‘better than those you’ve met’ line absolutely infuriates me.

Men really are that pathetic, wow ?!"

THE desperate ones... Beggers! Lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just say, not for us thanks happy fabbing that's all we put.

Its nice you actually do that, a lot of women/couples i’ve tried to interact with just straight up ignore you.

We can't win. If we reply, we get abuse (from some, not all). If we don't respond (as per the FAB faq) we are rude.

I never said it was rude, I just pointed out a polite no is nice...

How am I meant to know if you are someone who is going to send me abuse? But not replying, that means I won't get any.

What has any of that got to do with me saying the other couple above are nice for doing it? My comment was not to you, yet you seemed to have taken offence to it and i’m not quite sure why? sorry if I offended you complimenting someone else

I'm fed up of people complaining about no responses."

Would you kindly point out where I complained? The nature of my comment was complimenting those that do reply, not complaining about those who don’t, and in all fairness had nothing to do with you.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *alking DisasterWoman
over a year ago

South Oxfordshire


"Just say, not for us thanks happy fabbing that's all we put.

Its nice you actually do that, a lot of women/couples i’ve tried to interact with just straight up ignore you.

We can't win. If we reply, we get abuse (from some, not all). If we don't respond (as per the FAB faq) we are rude.

I never said it was rude, I just pointed out a polite no is nice...

How am I meant to know if you are someone who is going to send me abuse? But not replying, that means I won't get any.

What has any of that got to do with me saying the other couple above are nice for doing it? My comment was not to you, yet you seemed to have taken offence to it and i’m not quite sure why? sorry if I offended you complimenting someone else

I'm fed up of people complaining about no responses.

Would you kindly point out where I complained? The nature of my comment was complimenting those that do reply, not complaining about those who don’t, and in all fairness had nothing to do with you."

I can reply to any post I want to on this thread - it's a public forum after all.

Your message did not come across as a compliment to one person, but a dig at all those who don't reply to messages.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Back in the old days a man had to gather himself and make his best effort in a bar being gentle, polite and with a gsoh to get a nice lady. I’d say social (sex) media are to blame for these situations. Its all to virtual, hidden behind a keyboard you’re not the person you can be but manypersobs you don't wanna be...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/07/18 18:27:14]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/07/18 18:32:18]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just say, not for us thanks happy fabbing that's all we put.

Its nice you actually do that, a lot of women/couples i’ve tried to interact with just straight up ignore you.

We can't win. If we reply, we get abuse (from some, not all). If we don't respond (as per the FAB faq) we are rude.

I never said it was rude, I just pointed out a polite no is nice...

How am I meant to know if you are someone who is going to send me abuse? But not replying, that means I won't get any.

What has any of that got to do with me saying the other couple above are nice for doing it? My comment was not to you, yet you seemed to have taken offence to it and i’m not quite sure why? sorry if I offended you complimenting someone else

I'm fed up of people complaining about no responses.

Would you kindly point out where I complained? The nature of my comment was complimenting those that do reply, not complaining about those who don’t, and in all fairness had nothing to do with you.

I can reply to any post I want to on this thread - it's a public forum after all.

Your message did not come across as a compliment to one person, but a dig at all those who don't reply to messages."

How exactly? How is saying “its nice you do that” not a compliment? How is pointing out “most straight up ignore you” a dig? Its a clear and factual statement, in regards to my own experience. I didn’t comment on how it made me feel, I didn’t make any offers of complaint or misunderstanding to why they donit, I merely stated a fact. I seriously am struggling to grasp why you’ve seemingly taken to your high horse and become offended by this.

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By *he-Hosiery-GentMan
over a year ago

Older Hot Bearded Guy


"I’ve never had abuse after saying no thanks, but I do sometimes get multiple responses back saying “why? Please give me a chance”, “it will be worth your while”, “I guarantee I’m better than the people who have verified you”, etc. I never understand why. If you’ve said you’re not interested, then further messages will only cement that

The ‘better than those you’ve met’ line absolutely infuriates me.

Men really are that pathetic, wow ?!"

Steady... borderline white knight comment there fella

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

I met a stunning sub on the forums, she thought she was sub then found out she really was.

To me, I was lucky.

If you use the clubs, it filters out so many.... well, dreamers and wannabe .

Well that is our experience.

So far...

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"I’ve never understood this reaction. I just reply with a no probs, take care kind of thing and move on. What’s the point of anything else. "

I don't get it either. It's not as if you've been promised a kidney then rejected. Someone doesn't want to fuck you...so?!! Next!!!

Don't understand the need for drama, rudeness and petulance. Some people are sooo entitled!

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By *attoo manMan
over a year ago

Rhyl


"i get knocked back all the time i just shurg and think fair shout, im not everyones cup of tea."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I need to visit the Emerald Isle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've not been on here very long but being rejected is no big deal. I know how many profiles I look at that don't interest me and I'm certain the reverse number is much bigger

I'm dissapointed but such is life, I am always glad the person/couple has replied though. That said I unserstand why sone people don't, the volume of messages that fly around and the risk of an abusive dick is off putting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Definitely, of deleted it us clear and I'm not complaining about not getting a reply.

It is just refreshing and polite to get a nice "no thanks and good luck".

Women wish men to be polite and take the effort to write more than a few words. A reply of a couple of words is therefore surely not too much to ask for those men who have made the effort xx

"

I do reply to users who have read my profile before messaging. The other 99% I delete. I don’t want to type: club meets only, face photo please etc... I think if they haven’t took the time to read it then I haven’t the time to response.

However.... when I do response and say no thanks most times it results in a block anyway. .

*USERS. not necessarily SM!

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By *r_PinkMan
over a year ago

london stratford


"It baffles me why other men do that.

Take me for instance, the few emails I do send tend to be ignored, so when I get a reply, even a rejection, I am grateful that the person/couple have actually bothered.

So I tend to reply to the rejects by saying "sorry I am not your type, but thanks for replying and good luck in finding what you are looking for.

To date I have never had a nasty rude rejection yet, but we shall cross that bridge when we come to it I suppose!

Most men who I have said no to,are nice and reply saying thanks for replying even if it's a no.

Manners don't cost anything."

Exactly,,,,, its the only way to be

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By *alking DisasterWoman
over a year ago

South Oxfordshire


"Just say, not for us thanks happy fabbing that's all we put.

Its nice you actually do that, a lot of women/couples i’ve tried to interact with just straight up ignore you.

We can't win. If we reply, we get abuse (from some, not all). If we don't respond (as per the FAB faq) we are rude.

I never said it was rude, I just pointed out a polite no is nice...

How am I meant to know if you are someone who is going to send me abuse? But not replying, that means I won't get any.

What has any of that got to do with me saying the other couple above are nice for doing it? My comment was not to you, yet you seemed to have taken offence to it and i’m not quite sure why? sorry if I offended you complimenting someone else

I'm fed up of people complaining about no responses.

Would you kindly point out where I complained? The nature of my comment was complimenting those that do reply, not complaining about those who don’t, and in all fairness had nothing to do with you.

I can reply to any post I want to on this thread - it's a public forum after all.

Your message did not come across as a compliment to one person, but a dig at all those who don't reply to messages.

How exactly? How is saying “its nice you do that” not a compliment? How is pointing out “most straight up ignore you” a dig? Its a clear and factual statement, in regards to my own experience. I didn’t comment on how it made me feel, I didn’t make any offers of complaint or misunderstanding to why they donit, I merely stated a fact. I seriously am struggling to grasp why you’ve seemingly taken to your high horse and become offended by this."

It was a dig. Unconscious or not, it's a dig.

I'm not going to explain again why.

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