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That msg deleted feeling :/

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By *orldSeller0 OP   Man
over a year ago

Craigavon

Just a lil self pity rant i guess.. Really sucks when you see a cool profile on here, hot pics with everything youre looking for in potenial partner and you send a well constructed, funny, respectful message only for it to be discarded without so much as a "sorry not my type" or something. I know women get alot of mail on here but there should be some kind of basic level of respect for those who dont harass and make a some kind of effort or am i just crazy..?

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By *isstinseltoesWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I always reply to a well written message,you can spot them a mile away and they are so rare.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One thing Fab is very good for... destroying completely and utterly your fear of rejection. I really couldn't give a fuck now

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Trouble is OP there are a number of reasons people just delete without reply:

By replying they leave themselves open to the potential for "but why not?" type messages

By replying it then overrides any subsequent filters they may apply

Take your one message - then multiply that by 40 or more that the average single lady profile receives - then the two to three minutes it takes to read the sender's profile, read the message and send a reply and it starts to become an admin task in itself.

What you think is a well worded and crafted message may not be seen that way by the recipient.

Whilst it would be nice to get replies to each and every message sent, the above are just some examples why it's perfectly acceptable not to do so. I don't often send messages "cold" but when I do so I always expect no reply and when I do get one it's a nice surprise.

One tip for you - delete your sent messages once you've sent them - that way you won't stress over whether they got read or not - if you're worried about forgetting what you said, you could always copy/paste the text of the message to the Private Notes section of the person you sent it to - which will have the added bonus of reminding you you've already contacted that person when you come across their profile again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I always reply to a well written message,you can spot them a mile away and they are so rare.

"

Whips out fountain pen and thesaurus

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By *udewhennudeMan
over a year ago

newport


"Trouble is OP there are a number of reasons people just delete without reply:

By replying they leave themselves open to the potential for "but why not?" type messages

By replying it then overrides any subsequent filters they may apply

Take your one message - then multiply that by 40 or more that the average single lady profile receives - then the two to three minutes it takes to read the sender's profile, read the message and send a reply and it starts to become an admin task in itself.

What you think is a well worded and crafted message may not be seen that way by the recipient.

Whilst it would be nice to get replies to each and every message sent, the above are just some examples why it's perfectly acceptable not to do so. I don't often send messages "cold" but when I do so I always expect no reply and when I do get one it's a nice surprise.

One tip for you - delete your sent messages once you've sent them - that way you won't stress over whether they got read or not - if you're worried about forgetting what you said, you could always copy/paste the text of the message to the Private Notes section of the person you sent it to - which will have the added bonus of reminding you you've already contacted that person when you come across their profile again "

Or just don't bother looking at your sent mail box, works just as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just a lil self pity rant i guess.. Really sucks when you see a cool profile on here, hot pics with everything youre looking for in potenial partner and you send a well constructed, funny, respectful message only for it to be discarded without so much as a "sorry not my type" or something. I know women get alot of mail on here but there should be some kind of basic level of respect for those who dont harass and make a some kind of effort or am i just crazy..?"
This is a common complaint and you're going to get the wait for it ' entitled ' speech from somebody, unfortunately it's life here the women don't regard it as rude some get so many messages they can't physically reply even with a personal secretary...... Just keep plugging away try different things to make your profile stand out or go to one of the many different clubs and social gatherings that occur

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By *bonynivoryCouple
over a year ago

market harborough


"Just a lil self pity rant i guess.. Really sucks when you see a cool profile on here, hot pics with everything youre looking for in potenial partner and you send a well constructed, funny, respectful message only for it to be discarded without so much as a "sorry not my type" or something. I know women get alot of mail on here but there should be some kind of basic level of respect for those who dont harass and make a some kind of effort or am i just crazy..?"

No as per the fabs guidelines which you've signed up to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"One thing Fab is very good for... destroying completely and utterly your fear of rejection. I really couldn't give a fuck now "

Yes this!

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By *atinocouple80Couple
over a year ago

London

Quite a lot of men just don't take a " no thank you" for an answer, and keep texting, we even get insulted. A few guys after been blocked, create a new one and we've been called all sorts, even racial insults.

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill


"I always reply to a well written message,you can spot them a mile away and they are so rare.

"

Pretty much this. I will ALWAYS respond if there is thought put into a message/profile.

Messages I honestly CBA to respond are the one liners such as:

“ alright babe xxxxxx”

“wat u up to xxxxxx”

“fancy a meet now”

“any joy/luck on here”

Those are immediate delete because they clog up my inbox....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Quite a lot of men just don't take a " no thank you" for an answer, and keep texting, we even get insulted. A few guys after been blocked, create a new one and we've been called all sorts, even racial insults. "
the lady does have a sexy arse mind

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By *ools47Woman
over a year ago

Failsworth

I used to reply to all messages but as said above it just becomes an admin task. Last night I deleted over 80 messages without even reading them because sometimes even just looking at the volume is the inbox is too daunting a task

It's just the fab way receiving no replies I'm afraid

Xx

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By *igletchicksterWoman
over a year ago

Leicester


"Trouble is OP there are a number of reasons people just delete without reply:

By replying they leave themselves open to the potential for "but why not?" type messages

By replying it then overrides any subsequent filters they may apply

Take your one message - then multiply that by 40 or more that the average single lady profile receives - then the two to three minutes it takes to read the sender's profile, read the message and send a reply and it starts to become an admin task in itself.

What you think is a well worded and crafted message may not be seen that way by the recipient.

Whilst it would be nice to get replies to each and every message sent, the above are just some examples why it's perfectly acceptable not to do so. I don't often send messages "cold" but when I do so I always expect no reply and when I do get one it's a nice surprise.

One tip for you - delete your sent messages once you've sent them - that way you won't stress over whether they got read or not - if you're worried about forgetting what you said, you could always copy/paste the text of the message to the Private Notes section of the person you sent it to - which will have the added bonus of reminding you you've already contacted that person when you come across their profile again "

I don't get anywhere close to 40 messages in a week! What am I doing wrong?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Trouble is OP there are a number of reasons people just delete without reply:

By replying they leave themselves open to the potential for "but why not?" type messages

By replying it then overrides any subsequent filters they may apply

Take your one message - then multiply that by 40 or more that the average single lady profile receives - then the two to three minutes it takes to read the sender's profile, read the message and send a reply and it starts to become an admin task in itself.

What you think is a well worded and crafted message may not be seen that way by the recipient.

Whilst it would be nice to get replies to each and every message sent, the above are just some examples why it's perfectly acceptable not to do so. I don't often send messages "cold" but when I do so I always expect no reply and when I do get one it's a nice surprise.

One tip for you - delete your sent messages once you've sent them - that way you won't stress over whether they got read or not - if you're worried about forgetting what you said, you could always copy/paste the text of the message to the Private Notes section of the person you sent it to - which will have the added bonus of reminding you you've already contacted that person when you come across their profile again

I don't get anywhere close to 40 messages in a week! What am I doing wrong?"
not too sure you look very attractive I'm sure we can get you up in the 100s per day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always reply to a nice message with a not my type x If it's a explicitly crude or rude message it's a straight delete.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I always reply to a nice message with a not my type x If it's a explicitly crude or rude message it's a straight delete."
great figure

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By *otSoNewWalesCoupleCouple
over a year ago

South Wales


"Just a lil self pity rant i guess.. Really sucks when you see a cool profile on here, hot pics with everything youre looking for in potenial partner and you send a well constructed, funny, respectful message only for it to be discarded without so much as a "sorry not my type" or something. I know women get alot of mail on here but there should be some kind of basic level of respect for those who dont harass and make a some kind of effort or am i just crazy..?"

But they haven't asked you to message them. In this case respect means NOT expecting somebody to take time to reply for a message they haven't requested. Their time is just as precious as yours.

Do you reply to all unsolicited mail you recieve? The companies mailing you might also think there should be a level of 'respect' and expect a response. They will probably have even gone to the expense of printing whatever they sent you. How rude not to reply to them after all their effort and expense.

So no, it's not rude to ignore an unsolicited communication.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just a lil self pity rant i guess.. Really sucks when you see a cool profile on here, hot pics with everything youre looking for in potenial partner and you send a well constructed, funny, respectful message only for it to be discarded without so much as a "sorry not my type" or something. I know women get alot of mail on here but there should be some kind of basic level of respect for those who dont harass and make a some kind of effort or am i just crazy..?"

I have no idea why single guys think only they experiance this. Christ on a bike it happens to couples and single ladies too. Its not personal. We get regulary ignored. Even when organising the lical social event i wasnt replied too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just keep your sent box empty, why do you need even 1 message left in your sent box anyways. Its not like its some warranty that you'll need to keep for the 10 years

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds


"Just a lil self pity rant i guess.. Really sucks when you see a cool profile on here, hot pics with everything youre looking for in potenial partner and you send a well constructed, funny, respectful message only for it to be discarded without so much as a "sorry not my type" or something. I know women get alot of mail on here but there should be some kind of basic level of respect for those who dont harass and make a some kind of effort or am i just crazy..?"

I have a simple solution fella.. don't send messages..let the honeys find you and message you first.... then you have the choice to delete reply or not.. shift of power my friend

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We used to try and reply to everyone, but some guys see it as a ‘foot in the door’ even if it’s a polite no thanks. We’ve also been insulted and abused, so we just don’t bother anymore if we’re not interested.

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By *vesham cplCouple
over a year ago

Evesham

Lol, it doesn't just happen to single blokes, we message couples and get exactly the same response.... Deleted.

We can even put up an invite for a single man who can accom and also get no response.

Oh well, that's fab and the hardening to rejection is complete lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes....you're crazy lol

Seriously though, it happens to us all. Just take is as a 'no thanks' and move on. Simples.

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By *lceeWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I don’t reply to any messages where I’ve read the profile and I don’t think it would be a good fit. Case in point: I felt bad about this approach two days ago so replied to three well-thought-out messages with an equally well-thought-out response each, politely declining. All three then sent multiple messages in return questioning my reasoning why, telling me that I was wrong and practically begging for a chance to talk and meet up. Sooooo...I went back to just deleting.

No point saying you would be the exception - we don’t know that unless we answer and odds are, we would get that multi-message response. Sorry dude, just the way it is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don’t reply to any messages where I’ve read the profile and I don’t think it would be a good fit. Case in point: I felt bad about this approach two days ago so replied to three well-thought-out messages with an equally well-thought-out response each, politely declining. All three then sent multiple messages in return questioning my reasoning why, telling me that I was wrong and practically begging for a chance to talk and meet up. Sooooo...I went back to just deleting.

No point saying you would be the exception - we don’t know that unless we answer and odds are, we would get that multi-message response. Sorry dude, just the way it is."

Yes but I still don't understand why Bournemouth is too far away for you to travel to for a coffee??

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By *orldSeller0 OP   Man
over a year ago

Craigavon

Okay guys i get it now, im the bad guy for sending unsolicited messages and for feel dissapointed when a seemingly good match dosent have the same level of interest as i do.

I dont think this place is for me tbh.. For a young, single guy its pretty horrendous trying to do anything really. Its kinda like tryna get a good job while playing the lottery everyday lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Okay guys i get it now, im the bad guy for sending unsolicited messages and for feel dissapointed when a seemingly good match dosent have the same level of interest as i do.

I dont think this place is for me tbh.. For a young, single guy its pretty horrendous trying to do anything really. Its kinda like tryna get a good job while playing the lottery everyday lol"

Negative posts really won't help you I afraid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"One thing Fab is very good for... destroying completely and utterly your fear of rejection. I really couldn't give a fuck now "
love it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just a lil self pity rant i guess.. Really sucks when you see a cool profile on here, hot pics with everything youre looking for in potenial partner and you send a well constructed, funny, respectful message only for it to be discarded without so much as a "sorry not my type" or something. I know women get alot of mail on here but there should be some kind of basic level of respect for those who dont harass and make a some kind of effort or am i just crazy..?"
if they don't reply they lose out really is simple

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know how you feel. Just gotta keep persevering! One girl I messaged the other week. She was looking for a tall, slim guy in his 20's with facial hair. So I sent her a nice message...deleted.

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By *olden RatioWoman
over a year ago

Buckinghamshire

Some interesting viewpoints on this thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just a lil self pity rant i guess.. Really sucks when you see a cool profile on here, hot pics with everything youre looking for in potenial partner and you send a well constructed, funny, respectful message only for it to be discarded without so much as a "sorry not my type" or something. I know women get alot of mail on here but there should be some kind of basic level of respect for those who dont harass and make a some kind of effort or am i just crazy..?if they don't reply they lose out really is simple "

What do they lose out on by not replying ?

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By *olden RatioWoman
over a year ago

Buckinghamshire


"Just a lil self pity rant i guess.. Really sucks when you see a cool profile on here, hot pics with everything youre looking for in potenial partner and you send a well constructed, funny, respectful message only for it to be discarded without so much as a "sorry not my type" or something. I know women get alot of mail on here but there should be some kind of basic level of respect for those who dont harass and make a some kind of effort or am i just crazy..?if they don't reply they lose out really is simple

What do they lose out on by not replying ?"

I must say, this is one of the viewpoints I found interesting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Okay guys i get it now, im the bad guy for sending unsolicited messages and for feel dissapointed when a seemingly good match dosent have the same level of interest as i do.

I dont think this place is for me tbh.. For a young, single guy its pretty horrendous trying to do anything really. Its kinda like tryna get a good job while playing the lottery everyday lol"

So why would a young single guy come to a place that’s so horrendous?

Mrs

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"Okay guys i get it now, im the bad guy for sending unsolicited messages and for feel dissapointed when a seemingly good match dosent have the same level of interest as i do.

I dont think this place is for me tbh.. For a young, single guy its pretty horrendous trying to do anything really. Its kinda like tryna get a good job while playing the lottery everyday lol"

Your prerogative entirely OP - all people have done is explain why your messages are deleted without response to try and help you understand how the site tends to work - you can either take that on board, accept it, and make any necessary changes to your approach to see if it works better - or you can click the delete profile button.

Either way negativity will never get you anywhere

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP you said on your other thread that your dream woman is unlikely to be on this site. Does that mean that you regard the type of women who use this site as a bit different from your dream woman?

Mrs

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By *atinocouple80Couple
over a year ago

London


"Quite a lot of men just don't take a " no thank you" for an answer, and keep texting, we even get insulted. A few guys after been blocked, create a new one and we've been called all sorts, even racial insults. the lady does have a sexy arse mind "

Glad you like??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Okay guys i get it now, im the bad guy for sending unsolicited messages and for feel dissapointed when a seemingly good match dosent have the same level of interest as i do.

I dont think this place is for me tbh.. For a young, single guy its pretty horrendous trying to do anything really. Its kinda like tryna get a good job while playing the lottery everyday lol"

This attitude will get you nowhere. Just saying.

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By *orldSeller0 OP   Man
over a year ago

Craigavon


" Your prerogative entirely OP - all people have done is explain why your messages are deleted without response to try and help you understand how the site tends to work - you can either take that on board, accept it, and make any necessary changes to your approach to see if it works better - or you can click the delete profile button.

Either way negativity will never get you anywhere "

I know and i thank everyone for taking the time out to explain these things from their perspective, but i honestly dont believe there was much if anything wrong with my approach its more down to their personal preferences and i get that i wasnt complaining about that.

And as for the whole negativity thing.. Look im not afraid to say how i feel i dont care if people find it off putting or its gonna hinder my chances for a meet.. I dont play games to get what i want buddy.

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By *inkyfun2013Couple
over a year ago

lewisham

You mention the word 'partner' in your original post so it seems to me you need to be on a dating site not one for swingers. Or just get yourself to a vanilla club and have fun!

You're quite young to be on a site like this and for a lot of women and couples on here it's experience and veris that matter.

If you are really interested in the swinging world you may have to travel to clubs and I'm not sure that NI has any.

As many, many men before you have been told on the forums, you are one of thousands all looking for the same thing and sadly you are unlikely to find it on Fab given your age and location.

Sorry if this sounds really negative but good luck!

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By *orldSeller0 OP   Man
over a year ago

Craigavon


"OP you said on your other thread that your dream woman is unlikely to be on this site. Does that mean that you regard the type of women who use this site as a bit different from your dream woman?

Mrs"

Well thats a difficult question tbh, like ive said before would i expect to my dream woman to be ob here.. No. But i could be wrong, theres looks to be all sorts of women on here and im not knocking anyone of them in the slightest after all i am on here myself so what would that make me lol

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By *orldSeller0 OP   Man
over a year ago

Craigavon


"You mention the word 'partner' in your original post so it seems to me you need to be on a dating site not one for swingers. Or just get yourself to a vanilla club and have fun!

You're quite young to be on a site like this and for a lot of women and couples on here it's experience and veris that matter.

If you are really interested in the swinging world you may have to travel to clubs and I'm not sure that NI has any.

As many, many men before you have been told on the forums, you are one of thousands all looking for the same thing and sadly you are unlikely to find it on Fab given your age and location.

Sorry if this sounds really negative but good luck! "

Oh dont worry no problems youre giving me the facts of my situation so i have no problem with that.

Yeah i cant help but agree with ya, a actual relationship would be what i need tbh and i guess i kinda came on here in the first place cause my little head dosent really like wating around and was thinking for the big one upstairs haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've put in my profile " please don't be offended if I don't reply to your message, it means that I'm not interested"

I had a guy message me saying I don't have any manners by not replying.

Then he blocked me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just a lil self pity rant i guess.. Really sucks when you see a cool profile on here, hot pics with everything youre looking for in potenial partner and you send a well constructed, funny, respectful message only for it to be discarded without so much as a "sorry not my type" or something. I know women get alot of mail on here but there should be some kind of basic level of respect for those who dont harass and make a some kind of effort or am i just crazy..?

But they haven't asked you to message them. In this case respect means NOT expecting somebody to take time to reply for a message they haven't requested. Their time is just as precious as yours.

Do you reply to all unsolicited mail you recieve? The companies mailing you might also think there should be a level of 'respect' and expect a response. They will probably have even gone to the expense of printing whatever they sent you. How rude not to reply to them after all their effort and expense.

So no, it's not rude to ignore an unsolicited communication."
ahhhh but you now know they're messaging you so technically it's solicited and the point surely is to receive messages and go on meets with suitable people......... I'm saying this in his defence knowing that it's to no avail

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why does written rejection mean so much to you? Is an inbox full of no going to make you feel better?

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By *argar90Man
over a year ago

lucan


"Why does written rejection mean so much to you? Is an inbox full of no going to make you feel better?"

To be honest I'd rather no reply than a woman say I'm not her type or being let down easy that just sucks more to be honest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why does written rejection mean so much to you? Is an inbox full of no going to make you feel better?"
It's about rejection full stop they don't know how many messages you get, they don't know you bulk delete, they dont know if you actually read their well thought out message based on your profile, they don't know anything you didn't reply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t see why so many need a written explanation as to why someone may not be interested.

If they’ve deleted your message they’re not interested, so just move on.

I have had to put a note at the bottom of my pe to explain if I delete I’m not interested. It becomes a task trying to reply to everyone with a “no thank you” and when you do you get guys assuming they can ask why, begging, or using it as a conversation starter. Far easier to delete.

It’s not rude, as has been said in Fabs FAQs.

As someone said, delete what’s in your sent box. Pointless worrying or ranting about someone not being interested in you, that’s life.

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By *ast_And_CuriousMan
over a year ago

Sevenoaks

Nothing much to add to what's been already said. Men do the chasing and women do the choosing. The women on these things are often incredibly fussy but they can afford to be. Sometimes it can be about catching them at the right time as well.

If you're a woman you go on dating sites if you want to feel popular/wanted and if you're a man you go on them if you like rejection lol. Just the way it is. You would think with the amount of dross a lot of guys send it would be easy to be different and stand out a bit. Doesn't always work though. You could be the best looking guy with the best body and be funny, confident, charming etc and still you'd get rejected a fair bit (and even blocked) lol.

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside


"Trouble is OP there are a number of reasons people just delete without reply:

By replying they leave themselves open to the potential for "but why not?" type messages

By replying it then overrides any subsequent filters they may apply

Take your one message - then multiply that by 40 or more that the average single lady profile receives - then the two to three minutes it takes to read the sender's profile, read the message and send a reply and it starts to become an admin task in itself.

What you think is a well worded and crafted message may not be seen that way by the recipient.

Whilst it would be nice to get replies to each and every message sent, the above are just some examples why it's perfectly acceptable not to do so. I don't often send messages "cold" but when I do so I always expect no reply and when I do get one it's a nice surprise.

One tip for you - delete your sent messages once you've sent them - that way you won't stress over whether they got read or not - if you're worried about forgetting what you said, you could always copy/paste the text of the message to the Private Notes section of the person you sent it to - which will have the added bonus of reminding you you've already contacted that person when you come across their profile again

I don't get anywhere close to 40 messages in a week! What am I doing wrong?"

How often are you online? Most "wanna fuck"? men tend to message all the women online.

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside


"Why does written rejection mean so much to you? Is an inbox full of no going to make you feel better?"

This.

No reply = no thanks.

OP, are you really going to feel better with an inbox full of replies saying no thanks?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So someone replies with a 'thanks but no thanks' mail to you. Being a kind & gentle soul you'll feel it's only polite to respond 'thanks for letting me know' & whilst we're chatting, can you tell me why......

And on

And on it goes!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So someone replies with a 'thanks but no thanks' mail to you. Being a kind & gentle soul you'll feel it's only polite to respond 'thanks for letting me know' & whilst we're chatting, can you tell me why......

And on

And on it goes!

"

So so true.

This is why I stopped doing it and added a note to my profile.

I’d say thanks but no thanks hope you find what you’re looking for...

And they’d be like “Can you tell me why?” Or they’d send another message like “Sorry but I can’t stop looking at your pics please give me a chance, you haven’t even spoken to me so how can you say no”

Far easier to delete and move on!

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By *az68Man
over a year ago

WOODBRIDGE

I'm with you on that yes women have the pick of the crop I'm respectful and polite when writing to these ladies and not so much as a thanks but no thanks I'm not a Yom cruise but sometimes I think they bat way above there station the ladies I've met have been great and both sides have been really happy they met up so give us a opportunity tom cruise ain't out there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just a lil self pity rant i guess.. Really sucks when you see a cool profile on here, hot pics with everything youre looking for in potenial partner and you send a well constructed, funny, respectful message only for it to be discarded without so much as a "sorry not my type" or something. I know women get alot of mail on here but there should be some kind of basic level of respect for those who dont harass and make a some kind of effort or am i just crazy..?"
Well its even worse when you do all that and get a reply saying you're a tidewater and blocked....... Just suck it up their are unfortunately lots of rude people in the world and some of them are here ha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just a lil self pity rant i guess.. Really sucks when you see a cool profile on here, hot pics with everything youre looking for in potenial partner and you send a well constructed, funny, respectful message only for it to be discarded without so much as a "sorry not my type" or something. I know women get alot of mail on here but there should be some kind of basic level of respect for those who dont harass and make a some kind of effort or am i just crazy..?Well its even worse when you do all that and get a reply saying you're a tidewater and blocked....... Just suck it up their are unfortunately lots of rude people in the world and some of them are here ha "
timewaster I typed timewaster

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By *urhamjayMan
over a year ago

Durham


"I always reply to a well written message,you can spot them a mile away and they are so rare.

Pretty much this. I will ALWAYS respond if there is thought put into a message/profile.

Messages I honestly CBA to respond are the one liners such as:

“ alright babe xxxxxx”

“wat u up to xxxxxx”

“fancy a meet now”

“any joy/luck on here”

Those are immediate delete because they clog up my inbox.... "

Noted

Now share titles of messages that make you peek further?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm with you on that yes women have the pick of the crop I'm respectful and polite when writing to these ladies and not so much as a thanks but no thanks I'm not a Yom cruise but sometimes I think they bat way above there station the ladies I've met have been great and both sides have been really happy they met up so give us a opportunity tom cruise ain't out there "

You don’t need a thanks but no thanks.

If she doesn’t reply it obviously means she’s not interested right? What will a “no thanks” do? Absolutely nothing.

I don’t think anyone is looking for a Tom Cruise either. We are all well within our rights to pick and choose who we want to see.

It’s not rude at all to not reply, Fabswingers has this in their FAQ. People are calling it rude in my opinion because they can’t stand rejection. If you can’t stand rejection it’s probably best not to put yourself out there and make them come to you.

It’s even funnier when someone calls me rude for not replying to them but in their next message they’re calling me an “ugly bitch” because I didn’t reply. You can’t win on here sometimes.

I think if some of the men on here had a woman’s profile for a day their view may change a little.

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By *urhamjayMan
over a year ago

Durham

I was called a liar about my age. That was an interesting reply. I did say - no, I'm really that age, but they blocked me and made me the subject of their status. Does that count as effective communication?

People at work say I look younger. I'm beginning to suspect that they are humouring me. If I look older then so be it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was called a liar about my age. That was an interesting reply. I did say - no, I'm really that age, but they blocked me and made me the subject of their status. Does that count as effective communication?

People at work say I look younger. I'm beginning to suspect that they are humouring me. If I look older then so be it."

That’s a bit shitty!

I was called a timewaster for sending a “No thanks but I hope you find what you’re looking for” message to someone I wasn’t interested in when I first joined...

How exactly did I waste their time?! LOL

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm with you on that yes women have the pick of the crop I'm respectful and polite when writing to these ladies and not so much as a thanks but no thanks I'm not a Yom cruise but sometimes I think they bat way above there station the ladies I've met have been great and both sides have been really happy they met up so give us a opportunity tom cruise ain't out there "

Do you really feel women are looking for a Tom Cruise type or similar? Why do you feel women bat above their station? I certainly don’t, although I don’t know what other women do.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm with you on that yes women have the pick of the crop I'm respectful and polite when writing to these ladies and not so much as a thanks but no thanks I'm not a Yom cruise but sometimes I think they bat way above there station the ladies I've met have been great and both sides have been really happy they met up so give us a opportunity tom cruise ain't out there

Do you really feel women are looking for a Tom Cruise type or similar? Why do you feel women bat above their station? I certainly don’t, although I don’t know what other women do.

Mrs"

It seems to me that *some* on here think that if a woman is not interested in them that we are all shallow stuck up bitches and all looking for a Brad Pitt/George Clooney/ Insert your favourite Male celebrity here...

As I said further up everyone is well within their rights to pick and choose who they want to meet. If they don’t fancy you or aren’t attracted to you, that is their right and people should move on.

I really can’t get my head around people moaning about someone not being interested in them or not replying to them, it’s bound to happen, it’s not the end of the world.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It happens, if I get one I just block them so they don't show on searches, saves a lot of time.

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By *urhamjayMan
over a year ago

Durham


"It happens, if I get one I just block them so they don't show on searches, saves a lot of time."

I thought about that but I think there should be a few days in case they've just not answered immediately. It could happen.

Plus I'm facing the possibility of blocking everyone in my area as my success rate is 1%. So I'd like to delay that for a while

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots


"Trouble is OP there are a number of reasons people just delete without reply:

By replying they leave themselves open to the potential for "but why not?" type messages

By replying it then overrides any subsequent filters they may apply

Take your one message - then multiply that by 40 or more that the average single lady profile receives - then the two to three minutes it takes to read the sender's profile, read the message and send a reply and it starts to become an admin task in itself.

What you think is a well worded and crafted message may not be seen that way by the recipient.

Whilst it would be nice to get replies to each and every message sent, the above are just some examples why it's perfectly acceptable not to do so. I don't often send messages "cold" but when I do so I always expect no reply and when I do get one it's a nice surprise.

One tip for you - delete your sent messages once you've sent them - that way you won't stress over whether they got read or not - if you're worried about forgetting what you said, you could always copy/paste the text of the message to the Private Notes section of the person you sent it to - which will have the added bonus of reminding you you've already contacted that person when you come across their profile again "

great advice

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