FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swinging Support and Advice

We're going to a party...advice?

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

After dabbling with swinging for the past few years and having some really great experiences (and quite a few "eh" experiences)we're headed to a Swinger's Party next weekend. We have never been to a club or a party. Mrs. has some lovely social anxiety sometimes. Any advice for us?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Communicate with each other, know your boundaries and stick to them unless you both decide to push things. Don't feel pressured into playing

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Communicate with each other, know your boundaries and stick to them unless you both decide to push things. Don't feel pressured into playing "

Especially the last sentence...you will probably only fancy less than 20% of the folk there so don't feel obliged to play unless there is a real attraction. Many people go to parties and feel obliged to play then regret it afterwards.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you both. I'm not so worried about feeling obligated...as I haven't ever and have left meets when things didn't jive right.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inkyfun2013Couple
over a year ago

lewisham

Have a code word or sentence to let your other half know you want to move on or leave and vice versa.

Something like using the word 'Sweetheart' in a sentence or saying 'Gosh it's mighty busy in here tonight'- something that sounds plausible but you know it means one of you has had enough.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Have a code word or sentence to let your other half know you want to move on or leave and vice versa.

Something like using the word 'Sweetheart' in a sentence or saying 'Gosh it's mighty busy in here tonight'- something that sounds plausible but you know it means one of you has had enough. "

Good plan. Thanks!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"After dabbling with swinging for the past few years and having some really great experiences (and quite a few "eh" experiences)we're headed to a Swinger's Party next weekend. We have never been to a club or a party. Mrs. has some lovely social anxiety sometimes. Any advice for us? "
Park your car down Road from venue so you can't get blocked in if you want to leave early

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"After dabbling with swinging for the past few years and having some really great experiences (and quite a few "eh" experiences)we're headed to a Swinger's Party next weekend. We have never been to a club or a party. Mrs. has some lovely social anxiety sometimes. Any advice for us? Park your car down Road from venue so you can't get blocked in if you want to leave early "

I would have never thought of that. Thank you.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *otwife CoolhubCouple
over a year ago

Bathgate

Less is more if you’re duping your toes.

You’re more likely to enjoy the experience if you’re relaxed even if that means not playing the first time. Speak with people but keep mingling. You can always seek them out later on.

Excessive alcohol isn’t your friend and communicate lots.

Good luck - it’s fun.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Less is more if you’re duping your toes.

You’re more likely to enjoy the experience if you’re relaxed even if that means not playing the first time. Speak with people but keep mingling. You can always seek them out later on.

Excessive alcohol isn’t your friend and communicate lots.

Good luck - it’s fun.

"
yes alcohol not good

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Less is more if you’re duping your toes.

You’re more likely to enjoy the experience if you’re relaxed even if that means not playing the first time. Speak with people but keep mingling. You can always seek them out later on.

Excessive alcohol isn’t your friend and communicate lots.

Good luck - it’s fun.

"

Thank you. I'm not a huge drinker and he doesn't drink. Mingling is duly noted.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's perfectly legitimate to visit a club for the first time (or indeed any time) just to have a few drinks, socialise, and look around. You may not have thought you can do that but you really can. Knowing this takes a huge amount of pressure off the situation. All you need do is dress to impress, socialise, and if you click with someone the rest will take care of itself.

Be clear with each other before hand what your red lines for that night are. Try to keep rules to the minimal or they'll be forgotten in the heat of the moment. I'd personally recommend allowing kissing and sticking to soft swap for your first club experience as you'll want to know clubs are your thing before going further imo.

Remember that you could just go, have a few drinks, and then fuck each other whilst others watch. So no need to do anything but enjoy each other and the party

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"After dabbling with swinging for the past few years and having some really great experiences (and quite a few "eh" experiences)we're headed to a Swinger's Party next weekend. We have never been to a club or a party. Mrs. has some lovely social anxiety sometimes. Any advice for us? "
Well done on getting an invite can I have address date and time please I'll meet you there and advise

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It's perfectly legitimate to visit a club for the first time (or indeed any time) just to have a few drinks, socialise, and look around. You may not have thought you can do that but you really can. Knowing this takes a huge amount of pressure off the situation. All you need do is dress to impress, socialise, and if you click with someone the rest will take care of itself.

Be clear with each other before hand what your red lines for that night are. Try to keep rules to the minimal or they'll be forgotten in the heat of the moment. I'd personally recommend allowing kissing and sticking to soft swap for your first club experience as you'll want to know clubs are your thing before going further imo.

Remember that you could just go, have a few drinks, and then fuck each other whilst others watch. So no need to do anything but enjoy each other and the party "

Clubs aren't our thing...this is not a club. It's an outdoor party.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's perfectly legitimate to visit a club for the first time (or indeed any time) just to have a few drinks, socialise, and look around. You may not have thought you can do that but you really can. Knowing this takes a huge amount of pressure off the situation. All you need do is dress to impress, socialise, and if you click with someone the rest will take care of itself.

Be clear with each other before hand what your red lines for that night are. Try to keep rules to the minimal or they'll be forgotten in the heat of the moment. I'd personally recommend allowing kissing and sticking to soft swap for your first club experience as you'll want to know clubs are your thing before going further imo.

Remember that you could just go, have a few drinks, and then fuck each other whilst others watch. So no need to do anything but enjoy each other and the party

Clubs aren't our thing...this is not a club. It's an outdoor party."

Ahhh didn't clock that you were American. We don't really have outdoor swinger parties here (apart from one big festival). I'd be fascinated to hear what it's like

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *reenleavesCouple
over a year ago

North Wales

Is there a guest list available to you so you can make contact with the other guests before hand? If you know that there's at least one other party going who you've at least swapped a few messages with then it may help with the 'what if we don't talk to anyone' anxiety.

The advice about having a bail out plan in place is great. It can also help if you have a plan to just go for a drink and a chat. That way you can choose to stick to it or stay later if you're comfortable.

Social anxiety can be a lot like claustrophobia so just knowing you can get out quickly and easily can help with dealing with it.

Good luck!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's perfectly legitimate to visit a club for the first time (or indeed any time) just to have a few drinks, socialise, and look around. You may not have thought you can do that but you really can. Knowing this takes a huge amount of pressure off the situation. All you need do is dress to impress, socialise, and if you click with someone the rest will take care of itself.

Be clear with each other before hand what your red lines for that night are. Try to keep rules to the minimal or they'll be forgotten in the heat of the moment. I'd personally recommend allowing kissing and sticking to soft swap for your first club experience as you'll want to know clubs are your thing before going further imo.

Remember that you could just go, have a few drinks, and then fuck each other whilst others watch. So no need to do anything but enjoy each other and the party

Clubs aren't our thing...this is not a club. It's an outdoor party.

Ahhh didn't clock that you were American. We don't really have outdoor swinger parties here (apart from one big festival). I'd be fascinated to hear what it's like "

Outdoor parties down here lol quite a few in other regions too where the house is remote seen a few advertised with the nice weather

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Is there a guest list available to you so you can make contact with the other guests before hand? If you know that there's at least one other party going who you've at least swapped a few messages with then it may help with the 'what if we don't talk to anyone' anxiety.

The advice about having a bail out plan in place is great. It can also help if you have a plan to just go for a drink and a chat. That way you can choose to stick to it or stay later if you're comfortable.

Social anxiety can be a lot like claustrophobia so just knowing you can get out quickly and easily can help with dealing with it.

Good luck! "

There is...on another site. I stopped paying for our membership there and just started it up again. Good Idea.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top