FabSwingers.com forum: Switching from submissive to dominant for Mr Millionaire

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I admit I have always been submissive. I have tried been dominant before without success.

Sadly I have to pretend right now. I have met that guy who is Mr Perfect. Good job, earns ridiculous amounts of money, huge property.

Other women would kill to be in my shoes. So guess what. Sex is rubbish with him because he is the most submissive man I have ever met in bed, and I struggle to be dominant. Oh, and he is serious. He wants more than sex and the potential of putting a ring on it. Any suggestions?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Start small and build up?

What if he teases you or plays you up so much so you respond by punishing him?

Practice on someone else?

What if he tells you exactly what to do and you just remember that you’re pleasing him? Once you start you may see his reaction and get power or satisfaction from that to build up?

Get someone else to Domme him while you watch? Join in when ready?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Start small and build up?

What if he teases you or plays you up so much so you respond by punishing him?

Practice on someone else?

What if he tells you exactly what to do and you just remember that you’re pleasing him? Once you start you may see his reaction and get power or satisfaction from that to build up?

Get someone else to Domme him while you watch? Join in when ready? "

It's kinda weird because no matter how hard I try it doesn't feel right to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Start small and build up?

What if he teases you or plays you up so much so you respond by punishing him?

Practice on someone else?

What if he tells you exactly what to do and you just remember that you’re pleasing him? Once you start you may see his reaction and get power or satisfaction from that to build up?

Get someone else to Domme him while you watch? Join in when ready?

It's kinda weird because no matter how hard I try it doesn't feel right to me. "

Have you tried with other people? People you don’t care about?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes it takes time. Or you may never be able I do it. I read some books and then tried certain things on people I have no sexual attraction for that’s been easier for me and now I enjoy doing it because of the reaction I get from them

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Are you really willing to enter into a long term relationship when you already know you're not sexually compatible? Are you seriously considering forcing yourself to be something other than yourself?

Is there a compromise to be found? How about you both search out someone who can be a dom to the pair of you?

I have to ask this in a non combative way. Would you be considering trying to be a domme if he wasn't wealthy?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Oh an PS do you love him?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps visit and chat with a professional dominatrix? Read some good factual literature on it?

I hope you get it sorted as a great mutual satisfying sex life is crucial for a long term relationship to work.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Are you really willing to enter into a long term relationship when you already know you're not sexually compatible? Are you seriously considering forcing yourself to be something other than yourself?

Is there a compromise to be found? How about you both search out someone who can be a dom to the pair of you

I have to ask this in a non combative way. Would you be considering trying to be a domme if he wasn't wealthy?"

This is precisely my way of thinking.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh an PS do you love him?"

We are in the beginning of our relationship. He is feeling 'more serious' than me. I have not developed any feelings for him. He is in love with me.

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By *utie91Woman
over a year ago

Hitchin

Have you spoke to him about it?

After all relationships are about compromise

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Oh an PS do you love him?

We are in the beginning of our relationship. He is feeling 'more serious' than me. I have not developed any feelings for him. He is in love with me. "

Why are you staying with him? Again in a non combative way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you want to be rich and unhappy, go for it.

You can learn Dominatrix role play from porn sites.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well if it’s something you definitely don’t want to do it could be a disaster waiting to happen. Life’s too short to be unhappy or doing things you don’t want to do x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Start small and build up?

What if he teases you or plays you up so much so you respond by punishing him?

Practice on someone else?

What if he tells you exactly what to do and you just remember that you’re pleasing him? Once you start you may see his reaction and get power or satisfaction from that to build up?

Get someone else to Domme him while you watch? Join in when ready?

It's kinda weird because no matter how hard I try it doesn't feel right to me. "

Then it is not going to work. I was once seeing a woman who wanted me to be dom. I just couldn't do it. I am not dom.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh an PS do you love him?

We are in the beginning of our relationship. He is feeling 'more serious' than me. I have not developed any feelings for him. He is in love with me. "

I'm confused now. You've called him Mr Perfect in your original post yet now you're saying you have no feelings for him, so why not just walk away from him and find someone who enjoys sex in the same way that you do?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh an PS do you love him?

We are in the beginning of our relationship. He is feeling 'more serious' than me. I have not developed any feelings for him. He is in love with me.

Why are you staying with him? Again in a non combative way."

Because if I walked out of this relationship I might regret it. So I am giving it a chance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh an PS do you love him?

We are in the beginning of our relationship. He is feeling 'more serious' than me. I have not developed any feelings for him. He is in love with me.

Why are you staying with him? Again in a non combative way.

Because if I walked out of this relationship I might regret it. So I am giving it a chance. "

So you do want to try it? I’m congused too because earlier you say it doesn’t feel right?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Oh an PS do you love him?

We are in the beginning of our relationship. He is feeling 'more serious' than me. I have not developed any feelings for him. He is in love with me.

Why are you staying with him? Again in a non combative way.

Because if I walked out of this relationship I might regret it. So I am giving it a chance. "

Well I don't know you or him but I'd say you'll regret it if you do give it a chance. You've started out trying to be someone you're not, he's not falling in love with you he's falling in love with the person you're pretending to be. That isn't fair.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh an PS do you love him?

We are in the beginning of our relationship. He is feeling 'more serious' than me. I have not developed any feelings for him. He is in love with me.

Why are you staying with him? Again in a non combative way."

Money

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have to be yourself and go with what you dream about and they won't happen if your not in the right relationship and obviously you need a dominant guy who really knows what you really want so forget the money and look for real happyness in life as it's all over so quick. X

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By *ubergenieWoman
over a year ago

Neath

Sexual incompatibility is a real thing. I hope you can decide what would make you happy in the long run. It's ok if this isn't good enough for you

good luck!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh an PS do you love him?

We are in the beginning of our relationship. He is feeling 'more serious' than me. I have not developed any feelings for him. He is in love with me.

He is Mr Perfect. The dream of every woman. He is great in everything... but sex.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh an PS do you love him?

We are in the beginning of our relationship. He is feeling 'more serious' than me. I have not developed any feelings for him. He is in love with me.

Why are you staying with him? Again in a non combative way.

Because if I walked out of this relationship I might regret it. So I am giving it a chance.

I am not saying you are wrong. Then again I am thinking of other women who have married successful men without loving them...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pretending to be something you are not sexually is fine in the short term....not so much in the long term.

Being a match sexually is one of the most important qualities in a relationship...so if you aren’t compatible he will never be Mr Perfect.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh an PS do you love him?

We are in the beginning of our relationship. He is feeling 'more serious' than me. I have not developed any feelings for him. He is in love with me.

Why are you staying with him? Again in a non combative way.

Money

Yes. It's difficult to say no the a guy who earns half a million pounds per year.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Oh an PS do you love him?

We are in the beginning of our relationship. He is feeling 'more serious' than me. I have not developed any feelings for him. He is in love with me.

Why are you staying with him? Again in a non combative way.

Because if I walked out of this relationship I might regret it. So I am giving it a chance.

I am not saying you are wrong. Then again I am thinking of other women who have married successful men without loving them... "

I'm not saying love is necessary to a good marriage it depends on how you view life and what you want out of it. I do think that a certain honesty is though.

It's interesting that you're trying to change to suit him, have you thought of asking him to try and change?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh an PS do you love him?

We are in the beginning of our relationship. He is feeling 'more serious' than me. I have not developed any feelings for him. He is in love with me.

He is Mr Perfect. The dream of every woman. He is great in everything... but sex. "

He's not my dream man; money doesn't make me happy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh an PS do you love him?

We are in the beginning of our relationship. He is feeling 'more serious' than me. I have not developed any feelings for him. He is in love with me.

Why are you staying with him? Again in a non combative way.

Because if I walked out of this relationship I might regret it. So I am giving it a chance.

I am not saying you are wrong. Then again I am thinking of other women who have married successful men without loving them...

I'm not saying love is necessary to a good marriage it depends on how you view life and what you want out of it. I do think that a certain honesty is though.

It's interesting that you're trying to change to suit him, have you thought of asking him to try and change?"

I was going to say that. Is he a sub or just passive in bed? Does he want you to dominate him?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh an PS do you love him?

We are in the beginning of our relationship. He is feeling 'more serious' than me. I have not developed any feelings for him. He is in love with me.

Why are you staying with him? Again in a non combative way.

Because if I walked out of this relationship I might regret it. So I am giving it a chance.

I am not saying you are wrong. Then again I am thinking of other women who have married successful men without loving them... "

Money can't buy happiness ...life is about more than a nice house and wealth. If your not being who you truly are from within you will never have that connection if you have to force yourself to pretend to be someone your not.

The sheer fact you are writing this post shows it is a big deal for you

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"Oh an PS do you love him?

We are in the beginning of our relationship. He is feeling 'more serious' than me. I have not developed any feelings for him. He is in love with me.

Why are you staying with him? Again in a non combative way.

Money

Yes. It's difficult to say no the a guy who earns half a million pounds per year. "

I think you've summed up your true motivation in just that one post to be honest - and no it's not difficult to say no to that at all, if you are completely honest with yourself and see that money doesn't buy happiness

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By *ANDA2Couple
over a year ago

Henley Arden

"Oh an PS do you love him?

We are in the beginning of our relationship. He is feeling 'more serious' than me. I have not developed any feelings for him. He is in love with me.

He is Mr Perfect. The dream of every woman. He is great in everything... but sex. "

In which case he’s not Mr perfect and not every women dreams of the same thing in a man.

But then again few people are perfect. It all depends on which imperfect bits we have to live with. Some are more important than others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

. So your willing to be unhappy to be with someone who has money? All your mentioning in him being perfect is his money. What about his personality?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

. So your willing to be unhappy to be with someone who has money? All your mentioning in him being perfect is his money. What about his personality? "

I haven't seen her say she would be unhappy.

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By *heDesiCandiTV/TS
over a year ago

Leicestershire

Pass him my way. Jokes aside, you are with him for the wrong reasons. Let him find some who can truly give him what he wants.

Likewise you deserve someone who can give you what you want.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You say he’s Mr perfect and the first three things you mention are his job, his money and his property

I’ve got a spare shovel if you need a spare

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Use some of his money to meet a professional Dom, learn some stuff.

Or you know.. don't give a shit, just think of the money That's what life is about isn't it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh an PS do you love him?

We are in the beginning of our relationship. He is feeling 'more serious' than me. I have not developed any feelings for him. He is in love with me.

Why are you staying with him? Again in a non combative way.

Money

Yes. It's difficult to say no the a guy who earns half a million pounds per year. "

money isn't everything you know. You'll learn.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" I have met that guy who is Mr Perfect. Good job, earns ridiculous amounts of money, huge property.

This rings alarm bells.....

The first things I will describe about someone I find perfect will not be their financial status....

I’m more into intelligence, kindness , and cooking skills.... first

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By *nsatiablepartnerseekerMan
over a year ago

nottingham

Well he wont mind you having fin with others and you could use it as a dom want then find a dom for fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Imagine a guy had posted asking how he could fool his rich lover so the relationship could continue. He'd get slaughtered not helpful advice on how to continue with his gold digging scam

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you need to be honest with him from the start.

Give him your price list and tell him your willing to take payment in property or other material possessions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being sub and being passive/lazy in bed are two completely different things.

You need to work out which he is.

Sex in a relationship isn't the be all and end all but it certainly helps if you are compatible.

See past his money etc, would you still be with him if he lost it all tomorrow?

My feeling would be no you wouldn't and really that should be your answer.

Good luck op.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you considered cuckolding? He might get off on knowing you are being satisfied by other guys and you get to enjoy being in a relationship? But needs to be something you discuss with him really

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Imagine a guy had posted asking how he could fool his rich lover so the relationship could continue. He'd get slaughtered not helpful advice on how to continue with his gold digging scam "

You must be new here.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You’re starting out all wrong.

As you say you have no feelings for him, motivated by his financial earnings, he doesn’t please you sexually, but you’re keeping him there to provide you with a good life.

If you had feelings for him you’d want to please him, you’d find a way, what you’ve done is just try and brag you’ve found yourself a sugar daddy who’s shit in bed.

You’ll never be happy in a relationship with him, you just like his money, either just use him for his money and find pleasure in that or be a decent person and tell him the truth that he doesn’t do it for you, either emotionally or sexually.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Oh an PS do you love him?

We are in the beginning of our relationship. He is feeling 'more serious' than me. I have not developed any feelings for him. He is in love with me.

He is Mr Perfect. The dream of every woman. He is great in everything... but sex. "

Then he isn't Mr perfect is he?! Take away the money and the house.... Would you still try as hard?

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"I admit I have always been submissive. I have tried been dominant before without success.

Sadly I have to pretend right now. I have met that guy who is Mr Perfect. Good job, earns ridiculous amounts of money, huge property.

Make up a shopping list of things you want like a car, boat, villa abroad, clothing, shoes, huge allowance etc

And be dominant and demand that he buys them for you.

He might change his tune and start accepting your more submissive side

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

If you're happy with everything else, his personality etc sex is something that you can work on surely?

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By *lyreelMan
over a year ago

King's lynn

Could you develop the relationship into a Cuckold with you both taking instruction from a more Dominant third?

Would that suit you both better. ?

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By *nsert user name hereMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Tbh you sound a very shallow person, I hope he finds this out for himself

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

No amount of money would compensate me for being unhappy. I’d rather be poor and happy than rich and unhappy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry but for me money and nice home aren’t the be all and end all tbh love fun great sex if anyone is putting a ring on it I want the whole package and perhaps it doesn’t feel right because deep down you realise this materialistic relationship just isn’t enough for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh an PS do you love him?

We are in the beginning of our relationship. He is feeling 'more serious' than me. I have not developed any feelings for him. He is in love with me.

Why are you staying with him? Again in a non combative way.

Money

Yes. It's difficult to say no the a guy who earns half a million pounds per year. "

It’s actually really easy, I’m independent perhaps to a fault I’m successful in my career and have enjoyed the money that comes with it, men with money have no attraction to me if anything it puts me off and makes me feel distaste if they try to spoil me, I hD an ex once tried to pay for his own birthday dinner because I couldn’t afford it !!!! Excuse me ??? I wouldn’t have taken you to the place if I couldn’t afford it ! Needless to say I’d rather meet hard working joe who’s an equal than be a kept woman

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m naturally submissive and don’t have a dominant bone in my body. No money in the world would make me want to be with a submissive man, because it just doesn’t work for me.

Follow your heart, not his wallet!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

The divorce rate in this country is pretty high. Is it close to 50%? I don't think marrying for love is a guarantee of happiness. I do think that a completely honest approach to a long term relationship improves its chances of success and that if wealth or financial comfort is important you should ensure that you or the person you marry provides it. I think sexual compatibilty is important too judging from the number of people who are unhappy with their partners sexual preferences and appetites on here.

In my opinion the op needs to decide if she can compromise on the sexual aspect or if they can work out a way for them both to be sexually fulfilled before going ahead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh an PS do you love him?

We are in the beginning of our relationship. He is feeling 'more serious' than me. I have not developed any feelings for him. He is in love with me.

Why are you staying with him? Again in a non combative way.

Because if I walked out of this relationship I might regret it. So I am giving it a chance.

I am not saying you are wrong. Then again I am thinking of other women who have married successful men without loving them...

The sheer fact you are writing this post shows it is a big deal for you "

Absolutely agree with this. Money is not the be all and end all. Love and compatibility come much, much higher on my list of importance. Good luck OP

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

"Start small and build up?

What if he teases you or plays you up so much so you respond by punishing him?

Practice on someone else?

What if he tells you exactly what to do and you just remember that you’re pleasing him? Once you start you may see his reaction and get power or satisfaction from that to build up?

Get someone else to Domme him while you watch? Join in when ready?

It's kinda weird because no matter how hard I try it doesn't feel right to me. "

It wouldn’t to me either. Some people seem to be able to switch and some like us have defined ideas / roles.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh an PS do you love him?

We are in the beginning of our relationship. He is feeling 'more serious' than me. I have not developed any feelings for him. He is in love with me.

Why are you staying with him? Again in a non combative way.

Money

Nail on the head my friend

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By *ingle Dad SeekingMan
over a year ago

Northern England

Thanks for giving me this wretched earworm OP.....

;-)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-NlR54PqLw

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By *wo Big GuysCouple (MM)
over a year ago

Reading

"I admit I have always been submissive. I have tried been dominant before without success.

Sadly I have to pretend right now. I have met that guy who is Mr Perfect. Good job, earns ridiculous amounts of money, huge property.

Stay with him and get us over once a week to fuck you senseless

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By *oan of DArcCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

Is there a compromise to be found? How about you both search out someone who can be a dom to the pair of you?

I have to ask this in a non combative way. Would you be considering trying to be a domme if he wasn't wealthy?"

Have to agree with nice couple, if it's a fundamental big deal for both of you it will create problems in the future. Good luck either way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Imagine a guy had posted asking how he could fool his rich lover so the relationship could continue. He'd get slaughtered not helpful advice on how to continue with his gold digging scam "

Well said x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Imagine a guy had posted asking how he could fool his rich lover so the relationship could continue. He'd get slaughtered not helpful advice on how to continue with his gold digging scam "

Well said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh an PS do you love him?

We are in the beginning of our relationship. He is feeling 'more serious' than me. I have not developed any feelings for him. He is in love with me.

He is Mr Perfect. The dream of every woman. He is great in everything... but sex. "

That isn’t my dream

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By *oloandsaabWoman
over a year ago

Essex

How shallow are you, if he was skint he would be out on his ass

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh an PS do you love him?

We are in the beginning of our relationship. He is feeling 'more serious' than me. I have not developed any feelings for him. He is in love with me.

Why are you staying with him? Again in a non combative way.

Money

Yes. It's difficult to say no the a guy who earns half a million pounds per year. "

I mean it is quite easy... Can a mod please just close this thread please before it just turns into something that belongs on Reddit not here...?

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By *exyspecs and supermanCouple
over a year ago

A house, a very big house in the country

[Removed by poster at 08/06/18 17:39:34]

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By *exyspecs and supermanCouple
over a year ago

A house, a very big house in the country

that poor guy. How very sad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It sounds like a recipe for disaster, but to try to be positive / why not talk to him.

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By *inful xWoman
over a year ago

In a sleepy little village

"Tbh you sound a very shallow person, I hope he finds this out for himself

Hopefully before she fleeces him for 50%

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tbh you sound a very shallow person, I hope he finds this out for himself

Hopefully before she fleeces him for 50%

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once met a guy who's self build home was so big I got lost looking for the bathroom!

He cooked me an amazing meal was very very wealthy but dull as dishwater.

Actually came across as misseranlevehen he had so much that should make him happy.

He asked to see me again and I said no.

Personality and a sense of humour is just so important, without that I'm really not going to be hanging around for king no matter how rich you are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Read your comments OP.

It's your life and your choices to live with. Unlike others who may do so, item of my place to judge your decisions.

But it did make me feel a little sad

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

"I admit I have always been submissive. I have tried been dominant before without success.

Sadly I have to pretend right now. I have met that guy who is Mr Perfect. Good job, earns ridiculous amounts of money, huge property.

Sex is certainly not everything but is he really Mr Right (for you). Sexual compatibility is an important foundation stone of a relationship. What you have to ask yourself is there enough of it there say if you were not able to switch or enjoy switching? Could you both have a rich and fullfilling sex life with you both being submissive? Remember Cupid often likes to play twisted games with humans (a man after my own heart).

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By *dam_TinaCouple
over a year ago

Hampshire

Yes. It's difficult to say no the a guy who earns half a million pounds per year. "

I pay more than that in tax. Fancy sucking my cock and seeing what happens ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes. It's difficult to say no the a guy who earns half a million pounds per year.

I pay more than that in tax. Fancy sucking my cock and seeing what happens ?"

If you’re paying £500,000 I’ll do it

(joke admin, please don’t report me!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The more you play the Dom role the more you get into it, nothing makes me feel more dominant then a catsuit, killer heels and a whip... Get into character

Mrs Badcherry X

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

Yes. It's difficult to say no the a guy who earns half a million pounds per year. "

As a fall-back, there's always PPI, workplace injury and accident claims.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If he is a successful man then maybe he’s used to being dominant in everyday life so likes the break from that role in bed.

Personally I’d be more worried about him being serious. Serious men become seriously boring. A sense of humour in bed can make encounters more fun.

Sounds like either you get dominant or get out.

Money is nice but after a certain level it only buys you a nicer house, car, holiday but happiness.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"If he is a successful man then maybe he’s used to being dominant in everyday life so likes the break from that role in bed.

Personally I’d be more worried about him being serious. Serious men become seriously boring. A sense of humour in bed can make encounters more fun.

Sounds like either you get dominant or get out.

Money is nice but after a certain level it only buys you a nicer house, car, holiday but happiness. "

Live doesn't always bring happiness either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I admit I have always been submissive. I have tried been dominant before without success.

Sadly I have to pretend right now. I have met that guy who is Mr Perfect. Good job, earns ridiculous amounts of money, huge property.

Shameful

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"If he is a successful man then maybe he’s used to being dominant in everyday life so likes the break from that role in bed.

Personally I’d be more worried about him being serious. Serious men become seriously boring. A sense of humour in bed can make encounters more fun.

Sounds like either you get dominant or get out.

Money is nice but after a certain level it only buys you a nicer house, car, holiday but happiness.

Live doesn't always bring happiness either"

Or even love

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh an PS do you love him?

We are in the beginning of our relationship. He is feeling 'more serious' than me. I have not developed any feelings for him. He is in love with me.

Why are you staying with him? Again in a non combative way.

Because if I walked out of this relationship I might regret it. So I am giving it a chance.

So you do want to try it? I’m congused too because earlier you say it doesn’t feel right? "

In bed it feels like a disaster. Everything else is great.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh an PS do you love him?

We are in the beginning of our relationship. He is feeling 'more serious' than me. I have not developed any feelings for him. He is in love with me.

Why are you staying with him? Again in a non combative way.

Because if I walked out of this relationship I might regret it. So I am giving it a chance.

I am not saying you are wrong. Then again I am thinking of other women who have married successful men without loving them...

I'm not saying love is necessary to a good marriage it depends on how you view life and what you want out of it. I do think that a certain honesty is though.

It's interesting that you're trying to change to suit him, have you thought of asking him to try and change?

I was going to say that. Is he a sub or just passive in bed? Does he want you to dominate him?"

He is just the most sub man I have ever seen in my life! He wants me to constantly dominate him, humiliate him etc. In real life he is a man of extreme power by profession.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

. So your willing to be unhappy to be with someone who has money? All your mentioning in him being perfect is his money. What about his personality? "

His personality is also perfect!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You say he’s Mr perfect and the first three things you mention are his job, his money and his property

I’ve got a spare shovel if you need a spare "

When I hit on him I didn't know he was wealthy! I met him in the pub.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

" I have met that guy who is Mr Perfect. Good job, earns ridiculous amounts of money, huge property.

This rings alarm bells.....

The first things I will describe about someone I find perfect will not be their financial status....

I’m more into intelligence, kindness , and cooking skills.... first"

Oh, he has all these skills and an incredible mind. The only problem is the bedroom...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Imagine a guy had posted asking how he could fool his rich lover so the relationship could continue. He'd get slaughtered not helpful advice on how to continue with his gold digging scam "

I don't think I am doing anything wrong. I have my own extraordinary career and independence. I deserve someone extraordinary.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Being sub and being passive/lazy in bed are two completely different things.

You need to work out which he is.

Sex in a relationship isn't the be all and end all but it certainly helps if you are compatible.

See past his money etc, would you still be with him if he lost it all tomorrow?

My feeling would be no you wouldn't and really that should be your answer.

Good luck op. "

Yes. Totally. You are right. The answer would be no.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You’re starting out all wrong.

As you say you have no feelings for him, motivated by his financial earnings, he doesn’t please you sexually, but you’re keeping him there to provide you with a good life.

If you had feelings for him you’d want to please him, you’d find a way, what you’ve done is just try and brag you’ve found yourself a sugar daddy who’s shit in bed.

The reason I am sharing this post is to get advice. Ypu don't want to provide advice if you feel uncomfortable with this post.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If you're happy with everything else, his personality etc sex is something that you can work on surely?

That's what I am trying to establish.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Tbh you sound a very shallow person, I hope he finds this out for himself

It's a pity you are posting this as a response because I have constantly rejected you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh an PS do you love him?

We are in the beginning of our relationship. He is feeling 'more serious' than me. I have not developed any feelings for him. He is in love with me.

Why are you staying with him? Again in a non combative way.

Money

Yes. It's difficult to say no the a guy who earns half a million pounds per year.

I see your point. I am also financially independent. However I am attracted to intelligence and power, which is often associated with money.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He's rich and that's all that matters. Love -or even liking the poor guy- is irrelevant. Take him for his money and just fuck around behind his back. "Sex is a disaster"- make him pay for sex, that will spice it up. Marry him and take his money. Serves him right for his choice in women.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The divorce rate in this country is pretty high. Is it close to 50%? I don't think marrying for love is a guarantee of happiness. I do think that a completely honest approach to a long term relationship improves its chances of success and that if wealth or financial comfort is important you should ensure that you or the person you marry provides it. I think sexual compatibilty is important too judging from the number of people who are unhappy with their partners sexual preferences and appetites on here.

In my opinion the op needs to decide if she can compromise on the sexual aspect or if they can work out a way for them both to be sexually fulfilled before going ahead.

I agree with you. I married my ex husband because of love. Our sex life was great, his wallet was bad! It ruined the marriage. It can go either way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Imagine a guy had posted asking how he could fool his rich lover so the relationship could continue. He'd get slaughtered not helpful advice on how to continue with his gold digging scam

I don't think I am doing anything wrong. I have my own extraordinary career and independence. I deserve someone extraordinary. "

And what does he deserve? Someone that will slag off his sex life and use him. Lucky guy.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How shallow are you, if he was skint he would be out on his ass

Definitely! I would not stay with him if he was skinned.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I once met a guy who's self build home was so big I got lost looking for the bathroom!

He cooked me an amazing meal was very very wealthy but dull as dishwater.

Actually came across as misseranlevehen he had so much that should make him happy.

He asked to see me again and I said no.

Personality and a sense of humour is just so important, without that I'm really not going to be hanging around for king no matter how rich you are. "

He is not the first. I have met loads of them. I get to meet loads of wealthy professionals at work. Naturally, I get to date some of them.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

In my opinion the op needs to decide if she can compromise on the sexual aspect or if they can work out a way for them both to be sexually fulfilled before going ahead.

I agree with you. I married my ex husband because of love. Our sex life was great, his wallet was bad! It ruined the marriage. It can go either way. "

It can go either way. Love as I've said is no guarantee of happiness. I do think that a long term relationship does need mutual respect and a certain honesty. I can't say I agree with your approach but you're honest with yourself and if as you say you're sticking around to see if feelings develop it might be best to be honest with him too.

I think that if you hadn't mentioned his financial status and said you were doing this for love you would have had very different answers. I tend to think that whatever makes a relationship work is ok as long as both people are in agreement.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is there a compromise to be found? How about you both search out someone who can be a dom to the pair of you?

I have to ask this in a non combative way. Would you be considering trying to be a domme if he wasn't wealthy?"

Money cannot buy happiness for long.

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

Is there a compromise to be found? How about you both search out someone who can be a dom to the pair of you?

I have to ask this in a non combative way. Would you be considering trying to be a domme if he wasn't wealthy?

Money cannot buy happiness for long."

No, it bloody helps though!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Is there a compromise to be found? How about you both search out someone who can be a dom to the pair of you?

I have to ask this in a non combative way. Would you be considering trying to be a domme if he wasn't wealthy?

Money cannot buy happiness for long.

No, it bloody helps though!"

It's a darn site easier to be miserable if you don't need to worry about money.

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By *hunderstruckMan
over a year ago

Northampton

I think you should make him your cuckold

You get the bull to dominate him

You could both humiliate and degrade him

A lot of wealthy businessmen need a release

By being dommed in some form or other

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Merton

Too much people judge and not providing an answer to the Op question.

Wealthy men understand that some women are with them for there money etc. The difference is some don't mind. Money can't buy happiness but can provide an experience which can lead to happiness. I'd rather be sad in a mansion than on the street.

Now where is my wealthy sugar mama.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is there a compromise to be found? How about you both search out someone who can be a dom to the pair of you?

I have to ask this in a non combative way. Would you be considering trying to be a domme if he wasn't wealthy?

Money cannot buy happiness for long.

No, it bloody helps though!

It's a darn site easier to be miserable if you don't need to worry about money."

I've found some of the most miserable are those with it and the happiest mist caring sharing are those without. Often those without have far more to offer. It's a strange world we live in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Too much people judge and not providing an answer to the Op question.

Now where is my wealthy sugar mama."

Er scroll up! Plenty of people have provided some things but they aren’t appropriate only so many ideas exist!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Is there a compromise to be found? How about you both search out someone who can be a dom to the pair of you?

I have to ask this in a non combative way. Would you be considering trying to be a domme if he wasn't wealthy?

Money cannot buy happiness for long.

No, it bloody helps though!

It's a darn site easier to be miserable if you don't need to worry about money.

I've found some of the most miserable are those with it and the happiest mist caring sharing are those without. Often those without have far more to offer. It's a strange world we live in."

I've found that money doesn't make a big difference to whether people are happy or not or whether they are giving and caring.

It's my opinion that we place too much emphasis on love in relationships and tend to think it will conquer all...it doesn't. Just loving someone is never enough, you need to have common goals and be prepared to compromise. The op here is asking how she can change herself to make a man who loves her happy and make the relationship work. That's a pretty big commitment and contribution to making a relationship work but because she doesn't love him yet it seems to be seen as wrong.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

"If you're happy with everything else, his personality etc sex is something that you can work on surely?

That's what I am trying to establish."

Good for you, that's what I'd do to

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

Can you not take him to a processional dominatrix and work alongside her as her apprentice?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps you could both visit a dominatrix together? It looks like you both enjoy giving yourself over to your partner in the bedroom, so maybe it’s something you can do together rather than to each other?

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

You don't sound well suited op

Doesn't matter what someone earns etc if you're not happy .

If there's no chemistry in the bedroom you have to ask can you live with that?if not,you know what you need to do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is there a compromise to be found? How about you both search out someone who can be a dom to the pair of you?

I have to ask this in a non combative way. Would you be considering trying to be a domme if he wasn't wealthy?

Money cannot buy happiness for long.

No, it bloody helps though!

It's a darn site easier to be miserable if you don't need to worry about money.

I've found some of the most miserable are those with it and the happiest mist caring sharing are those without. Often those without have far more to offer. It's a strange world we live in.

I've found that money doesn't make a big difference to whether people are happy or not or whether they are giving and caring.

Lot of truth in what you say.

Many confuse what live is too. There are 8 diferent types of loves in the Greek and the one most commonly used is eros and bundle it in one package. We forget it's only one aspect of love. Many of the others require selfless giving which in our current social climate is often frowned upon as we are in general a selfish society. Mania, pragma and agape are examples of loves that we 'choose' to do and make happen. These have generally been lost in our search for love and maybe as a result our love we have for someone is maybe less stable than it should be.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

Is there a compromise to be found? How about you both search out someone who can be a dom to the pair of you?

I have to ask this in a non combative way. Would you be considering trying to be a domme if he wasn't wealthy?

Money cannot buy happiness for long.

No, it bloody helps though!

It's a darn site easier to be miserable if you don't need to worry about money.

I've found some of the most miserable are those with it and the happiest mist caring sharing are those without. Often those without have far more to offer. It's a strange world we live in.

I've found that money doesn't make a big difference to whether people are happy or not or whether they are giving and caring.

Lot of truth in what you say.

Great post

I can't be bothered discussing 'love' in english, it's such a meaningless concept in our language. One person says "do you love him?" And the other says "yes i love him" - there's no guarantee they are even talking about the same concept. I'd even go as far as to say that most people's idea of 'love' is immature infatuation bought on my personal insecurities, which is so far from my version that it isn't worth the conversation.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

As the OP has said she would not be with this guy if he had no money and given she has accepted they are sexually incompatible, she has a choice to make.

Does she want a relationship that is essentially contractual, that is she gets access to his wealth in return for her going along with his sexual desires even though she's not into them or does she want a relationship where there is a deeper level of compatibility.

If the former it would be right to tell the man that this is what the relationship is based on and see what he says.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

I very rarely go for the argument that "if a man said this he would be slaughtered, but women get a free pass" but I think that's the case here.

Imagine if a man said "I have met this really wealthy woman, I don't really have feelings for her but she has them for me, and I also think sex with her is rubbish. I like her personality,but if she lost her money I would dump her. However I work hard and I think I deserve a wealthy girlfriend. Does anyone of any tips as to what I can do to keep her".

I don't think anyone would be saying anything other than that his attitude was appalling.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"I very rarely go for the argument that "if a man said this he would be slaughtered, but women get a free pass" but I think that's the case here.

I don't think anyone would be saying anything other than that his attitude was appalling. "

Make sure you're sat down when you read this... but men and women are different.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I very rarely go for the argument that "if a man said this he would be slaughtered, but women get a free pass" but I think that's the case here.

I don't think anyone would be saying anything other than that his attitude was appalling. "

Some people have said it's a poor attitude. I don't think it's the path the happiness but then what is? I think both partners need to know the terms and conditions attached to any contract they enter into but which of us did when we married?

Here's a woman willing to put a hell of a lot of work into a relationship to make it work. Is it wrong because her motive isn't love yet?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Oh and I agree a man would be slaughtered.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

"I very rarely go for the argument that "if a man said this he would be slaughtered, but women get a free pass" but I think that's the case here.

I don't think anyone would be saying anything other than that his attitude was appalling.

Make sure you're sat down when you read this... but men and women are different. "

I know, but I think most people think systems of ethics should apply to both men and women. And most people would think that it's unethical to deceive someone into a relationship with you so you can get access to their wealth.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"I very rarely go for the argument that "if a man said this he would be slaughtered, but women get a free pass" but I think that's the case here.

I don't think anyone would be saying anything other than that his attitude was appalling.

Make sure you're sat down when you read this... but men and women are different.

It would be unethical to deceive them. I don't think that's what the OP is doing.

Don't tell me you've never seen a guy with a trophy wife that has the personality of a mop and bucket. On average, men want beauty in a women, and women want men with resources. As it was in the beginning and ever shall be. Amen.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

"I very rarely go for the argument that "if a man said this he would be slaughtered, but women get a free pass" but I think that's the case here.

I don't think anyone would be saying anything other than that his attitude was appalling.

Here's a woman willing to put a hell of a lot of work into a relationship to make it work. Is it wrong because her motive isn't love yet? "

I have no problem at all if she said to him. "I don't like you as much as you like me, and I would not be with you if you were not wealthy. I also think the sex we have had is rubbish and I don't like being dominant with you, but I am willing to work on this".

Of course she won't say that as if she did 99%of men would dump her if she did. Hence she is basically deceiving the bloke

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

"I very rarely go for the argument that "if a man said this he would be slaughtered, but women get a free pass" but I think that's the case here.

I don't think anyone would be saying anything other than that his attitude was appalling.

Make sure you're sat down when you read this... but men and women are different.

It would be unethical to deceive them. I don't think that's what the OP is doing.

I actually think it is a bit more complex than that. But in general, and as I say I above, if both parties are agreed that it is a purely contractual exchange of beauty for wealth all is good.

However, I think most rich blokes would dump a woman who openly said they would not be with them if they were poor, as the OP has said. She needs to tell him that so he can make an informed choice.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I very rarely go for the argument that "if a man said this he would be slaughtered, but women get a free pass" but I think that's the case here.

I don't think anyone would be saying anything other than that his attitude was appalling.

Here's a woman willing to put a hell of a lot of work into a relationship to make it work. Is it wrong because her motive isn't love yet?

Of course she won't say that as if she did 99%of men would dump her if she did. Hence she is basically deceiving the bloke "

Yes I've said several times that a certain honesty is needed for any relationship to be fully successful.

I do think that a lot of people deceive each other to gain a perceived benefit when they enter into a relationship.

I think in the west we approach love and marriage from a romanticised view point and it isn't working.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

"I very rarely go for the argument that "if a man said this he would be slaughtered, but women get a free pass" but I think that's the case here.

I don't think anyone would be saying anything other than that his attitude was appalling.

Here's a woman willing to put a hell of a lot of work into a relationship to make it work. Is it wrong because her motive isn't love yet?

Of course she won't say that as if she did 99%of men would dump her if she did. Hence she is basically deceiving the bloke

Yes I've said several times that a certain honesty is needed for any relationship to be fully successful.

I do think that a lot of people deceive each other to gain a perceived benefit when they enter into a relationship.

I think in the west we approach love and marriage from a romanticised view point and it isn't working. "

I don't disagree with that, but I think most of us would be appalled to discover that the primary reason for our partner being with us was our material wealth.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

[Removed by poster at 10/06/18 11:52:36]

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"I very rarely go for the argument that "if a man said this he would be slaughtered, but women get a free pass" but I think that's the case here.

I don't think anyone would be saying anything other than that his attitude was appalling.

Here's a woman willing to put a hell of a lot of work into a relationship to make it work. Is it wrong because her motive isn't love yet?

Of course she won't say that as if she did 99%of men would dump her if she did. Hence she is basically deceiving the bloke

Yes I've said several times that a certain honesty is needed for any relationship to be fully successful.

I do think that a lot of people deceive each other to gain a perceived benefit when they enter into a relationship.

I think in the west we approach love and marriage from a romanticised view point and it isn't working.

I don't disagree with that, but I think most of us would be appalled to discover that the primary reason for our partner being with us was our material wealth. "

Your arguement is based on semantic nonsense. There are tactful ways the OP can explain the situation to him that wouldn't cause 99% of men to run away. Most women don't stick with their husbands when they have financial problems so your arguement around "primary reasons" is a distinction without a difference.