FabSwingers.com forum: Question on attraction

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi gang,

Bit of a strange one, maybe a two parter for the men and women. Me and wifey were talking last night on the way back from VA, and we spoke about attractions. For Mrs to go to the next level with a guy, so full sex, there needs to be an attraction to them, whereas in my mind, I'm only interested in the cock, so i don't need a physical attraction to them. I know that makes me shallow, but thats how it is for me (i guess that's why i love glory holes so much). I would guess guys need an attraction to the female as well before they approach? Maybe its just us(or just me?).

That maybe why we are so unsuccessful?

Apologies if that offends anyone, just looking for advice really

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By *orticiaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

I look for a connection more than an attraction - there’s got to be a chemistry otherwise, for me, the sex won’t be great.

So it’s definitely more than just a cock for me

Maybe guys see it differently!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is definitely a big difference between what women find attractive and men, the same goes for sex.

Being a man, I have to admit in the past, I have played with people who i haven't always been attracted to. With age that has changed, I would rather play with someone who attracted me on several levels.

It doesn't have to be just about physical attraction either. Being someone who has been swinging for 20 years or so, long before the internet made it so much easier, it used to be about responding to an advert in a magazine or paper. Then we would arrange a social and if went well, a later playdate or possibly after the social. Other than perhaps a grainy Polaroid, it wasn't until you actually met someone you'd know whether you would get on with them. That again, didn't just come down to physical attraction, but the person/couple themselves.

I do think with the internet being prominent now, physical attraction has taken the place of an 'attractive' person.

But obviously that is a male perspective.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me it has to be attraction and a whole lot more. Mental stimulation is a big thing and I can go off people so quickly from just one word etc. So for me to have more than a fumble it has to be everything I want or I would just come away feeling shit about myself

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

"For me it has to be attraction and a whole lot more. Mental stimulation is a big thing and I can go off people so quickly from just one word etc. So for me to have more than a fumble it has to be everything I want or I would just come away feeling shit about myself "

This!

I've found myself physically attracted to people, but a few minutes in their company & I can be secretly planning my escape.

It takes more than looks & good bod, to win me over....

Want me in bed, get in my head!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I look for a connection more than an attraction - there’s got to be a chemistry otherwise, for me, the sex won’t be great.

So it’s definitely more than just a cock for me

Maybe guys see it differently!! "

So true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I need some build up... flirting, getting into each other... before I want to take it further. Otherwise it's just surreal. And you can't have build up if there's no attraction.

As for the whole "sensitive to a single word" thing... I tend to think that's a bit too on edge. I mean we're all human and meeting someone new can be a bit nerve wracking for some people. And that whole walking on egg shells thing is especially silly when it comes to messaging because you're more than likely reacting to something you've completely misread.

Of course if that single word is "Brexit" then yes... that might bring the whole evening to an abrupt end

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get inside my my mind and.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi gang,

That maybe why we are so unsuccessful?

Apologies if that offends anyone, just looking for advice really

Advice on what exactly? Don't know why anyone would be offended.

If you're meeting couples it's always more difficult to find 4 way attraction.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

An interesting question OP and one I think I can answer from several angles, including the bi one

For me there has to be an attraction on some level regardless of whether it is a guy or a lady I'm playing with, and that attraction can take many shapes including both physical and mental chemistry and connection - now on here that's built up over a period of time through messages and pictures, and even then there's no guarantee until I actually meet someone that I'm going to want to take things to another stage (although am pleased to say that on every occasion I've met someone so far my instincts have been right, and the connection and chemistry I've built up through messaging etc has been worth the time).

In clubs of course it's slightly different as that attraction is more immediate but essentially it's the same, just the process is accelerated by being face to face.

Now when it comes to men and women I'm attracted to, there IS a difference, I don't fancy men in the same way I do women, but it's a lot more than just wanting a cock, any cock - I still have to like the guy whose cock I'm going to suck or allow to enter me, and couldn't do that with just any guy either, so there's a level of physical attraction at play but it's different from that with women. Exactly how it's different I'm not sure I can explain, it just is.

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth

I absolutely need a physical attraction. I also prefer to have a mental attraction - even in clubs I usually chat first.

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

Well I’m not bi , but I can see where you’re coming from . We don’t need a massive attraction to play , as long as the people are clean and respectful and within our age range then it’s all good . There are nights when we go dogging with other couples when as long as they’re clean then any cock is good .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely has to be a connection for me ... otherwise I'd just be some sort of biological robot ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This!

I've found myself physically attracted to people, but a few minutes in their company & I can be secretly planning my escape.

It takes more than looks & good bod, to win me over....

Want me in bed, get in my head! "

Totally this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Attraction is what I look for for one offs, attraction and connection for a FWB xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Attraction, connection and chemistry, mental and physical

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So the general consensus is I'm weird (Mr) and Mrs is normal lol. Maybe i just really wanna suck cock lol

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