FabSwingers.com forum: Finding a 'bull'

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This isn't an advert seeking a bull (our entire profile is that!), it is however a request for advice on perhaps what we could do differently with our profile to attract someone who understands it's about more than just fucking someone's partner!

All advice gratefully received.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Few more photos would help your profile I think

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By *erry bull1Man
over a year ago

doncaster

Perhaps you should concentrate on the type of person you're looking for and delete all the negative information ,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/04/18 21:24:49]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a couple who have been doing this for 5 years, I would say it take a long time to build up connections, so be patient and network as much as possible. These days we don’t need to look because we know who all the guys who get it are. When we do actively look, we look for guys who seem experienced with couples and have plenty of verifications from couples. We might look for guys from the verification lists of couples we know - the good ones always crop up everywhere. Clubs are also a good place to find the type of guys who get it.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say make your profile more attractive by adding more photos and describing yourselves rather than slating other members. Then do your own searching rather than just waiting for the messages to come in.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for the replies everyone, will reflect on it overnight and make some changes.

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan
over a year ago

Maybe describe what being a 'bull' means to you, Other then that do your own searches or you could try clubs and see if you can find them there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you’re ever down the midlands way let me know

I liked your profile and respect that you don’t want to show everything at once.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hopefully it’s a wee bit better now.

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

As a lot have said.

Visit the club's.

We rarely meet folk off Fab but do use it to help us avoid the undesirables.

It's just a window into the scene.

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By *otwife and Him 69Couple
over a year ago

Preston

"As a couple who have been doing this for 5 years, I would say it take a long time to build up connections, so be patient and network as much as possible. These days we don’t need to look because we know who all the guys who get it are. When we do actively look, we look for guys who seem experienced with couples and have plenty of verifications from couples. We might look for guys from the verification lists of couples we know - the good ones always crop up everywhere. Clubs are also a good place to find the type of guys who get it.

Mrs"

This

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

Arranging to actually meet someone is the next big step for you OP, which is the point our messages stopped at.........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would also add that a very relaxed attitude is needed when finding a guy who understands the dynamic. Never put all your eggs in one basket as this leads to disappointment. There are some great guys out there, but after 5 years we have found consistently that single guys come and go. They get girlfriends, their jobs get busier, they lose interest in swinging, they get problems. We’ve had guys who are off and on, and we’ve had guys who circumstances change and they suddenly can’t do it any more. It’s all genuine, it’s just that these guys are single. And that’s why I say network and build connections, so that there is always someone on the roladex.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would also add that a very relaxed attitude is needed when finding a guy who understands the dynamic. Never put all your eggs in one basket as this leads to disappointment. There are some great guys out there, but after 5 years we have found consistently that single guys come and go. They get girlfriends, their jobs get busier, they lose interest in swinging, they get problems. We’ve had guys who are off and on, and we’ve had guys who circumstances change and they suddenly can’t do it any more. It’s all genuine, it’s just that these guys are single. And that’s why I say network and build connections, so that there is always someone on the roladex.

Mrs"
we would second that its very very hard to find the right one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think there are many guys on here of the sort you are looking for. They just don't all associate with the term 'bull'.

That is often a term misconstrued by many.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Arranging to actually meet someone is the next big step for you OP, which is the point our messages stopped at.........

You certainly aren’t out of our thoughts but we are taking our time, we’re in no rush to find the person who really inspires her.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

If your profile has changed already, then it still needs to. You now sound as if you are looking for 'the one', which isn't going to happen. By the sounds of this thread, you haven't met socially, so a leap into physical sex going by your profile seems way off.

Sex goes both ways so much as you may find someone who ticks all the boxes, but you'll likely find that you don't tick all theirs, so after one night of romance, the affair will end.

Rather than looking for a bull, why not just swing - you can meet without expectation and take it from there. The male can be male and you can be a couple with your preferences. Limiting your criteria is good but having unrealistic expectations of a lifestyle you don't know is another entirely.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Arranging to actually meet someone is the next big step for you OP, which is the point our messages stopped at.........

You certainly aren’t out of our thoughts but we are taking our time, we’re in no rush to find the person who really inspires her."

Sounds like you already have attracted someone who understands the dynamic

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Arranging to actually meet someone is the next big step for you OP, which is the point our messages stopped at.........

You certainly aren’t out of our thoughts but we are taking our time, we’re in no rush to find the person who really inspires her.

Sounds like you already have attracted someone who understands the dynamic

Sometimes the criteria we have set ourselves shift in their relative importance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Arranging to actually meet someone is the next big step for you OP, which is the point our messages stopped at.........

You certainly aren’t out of our thoughts but we are taking our time, we’re in no rush to find the person who really inspires her.

Sounds like you already have attracted someone who understands the dynamic

Sometimes the criteria we have set ourselves shift in their relative importance."

Ouch. As long as you don’t tell them that!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If your profile has changed already, then it still needs to. You now sound as if you are looking for 'the one', which isn't going to happen. By the sounds of this thread, you haven't met socially, so a leap into physical sex going by your profile seems way off.

Sex goes both ways so much as you may find someone who ticks all the boxes, but you'll likely find that you don't tick all theirs, so after one night of romance, the affair will end.

We’re fairly new to this and have a lot to learn but we also think that there’s nothing wrong with setting our sights high and adjusting downwards as it were, we only really have three main criteria and there have been plenty of people who meet a couple of them but so far no one who hits all three. Perhaps we are being unrealistic but our free time to do these things is short and we want to make the most of it.

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By *m3232Man
over a year ago

maidenhead

It always amazes me how hard it is for people to find what they want. The bull should be able to play/stick to the rules of play with a agreement at the beginning.

I am lucky enough to play as a bull for two couples and both want completely diff things on what they like and I find it easy to stick to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why not meet for a social somewhere neutral?

Then you can see if there is attraction but without any pressure.

It might also help if you put which of you is male and which female on your profile. I'd presume the shorter one is female but I could be wrong.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It always amazes me how hard it is for people to find what they want. The bull should be able to play/stick to the rules of play with a agreement at the beginning.

I am lucky enough to play as a bull for two couples and both want completely diff things on what they like and I find it easy to stick to. "

Just to be clear, it’s our priorities that have changed, not any potential playmate’s.

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By *ojos party boyMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

"This isn't an advert seeking a bull (our entire profile is that!), it is however a request for advice on perhaps what we could do differently with our profile to attract someone who understands it's about more than just fucking someone's partner!

All advice gratefully received."

But that is literally what a BULL is...someone who fucks other peoples wives without a care in the world...

The only help i could advise is change your heading to BULL WANTED

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not trying to be rude here but jesus your profile is like an essay, keep it short n to the point.

I gave up after 2 paragraphs.

Think of it like a cv I guess

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By *m3232Man
over a year ago

maidenhead

"It always amazes me how hard it is for people to find what they want. The bull should be able to play/stick to the rules of play with a agreement at the beginning.

I am lucky enough to play as a bull for two couples and both want completely diff things on what they like and I find it easy to stick to.

Just to be clear, it’s our priorities that have changed, not any potential playmate’s."

But why not ask your prev bull to change to what you are looking for.

My last couple changed what they wanted over a couple of visits to suit what they where looking for.

Myself I like playing diff ways so easy for me to ramp it up or pull it back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All advice gratefully received.

But that is literally what a BULL is...someone who fucks other peoples wives without a care in the world...

The only help i could advise is change your heading to BULL WANTED"

No that’s not true. A good Bull fully understands the dynamic in Hotwife or cuckold couple play, and very much cares about the needs of the couple.

Mrs

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"Arranging to actually meet someone is the next big step for you OP, which is the point our messages stopped at.........

You certainly aren’t out of our thoughts but we are taking our time, we’re in no rush to find the person who really inspires her."

At some point though, you are going to have to start meeting people, and the best profile on your screen, which ticks all your boxes, doesn't necessarily mean the person you actually meet will be who you are looking for, or you they, for that matter

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

But that is literally what a BULL is...someone who fucks other peoples wives without a care in the world...

The only help i could advise is change your heading to BULL WANTED

No that’s not true. A good Bull fully understands the dynamic in Hotwife or cuckold couple play, and very much cares about the needs of the couple.

Mrs"

100% Our understanding too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I quite like your profile although, a couple more tasteful pics will do wonders.

Very interested in finding out more about your needs from a prospective “bull” so I’ve sent a wink.

If you like what you see from my profile then please get in touch.

Look forward to hearing from you both.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I think it may be useful to seek out the guy yourselves, so that the 'story' you hear from them in messages isn't created just based upon what your profile states. There are a lot of dreamers who will pretend to be almost anything to get sex here.

Consider outlining some details of how you'd like the guy to engage with you both, so that your specific interests are much clearer. If you're open to them having some flexibility, add that too - but if you are really clear first off, then others will know if that's of major interest to them.

Add more photos, so that people can get a feel for the two of you. As it's mostly the female half who's going to have sexual interaction, it's fine to particularly emphasise her. Let people get a fairly clear understanding of how you look, your build etc.

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By *otwife and Him 69Couple
over a year ago

Preston

All advice gratefully received.

But that is literally what a BULL is...someone who fucks other peoples wives without a care in the world...

The only help i could advise is change your heading to BULL WANTED

No that’s not true. A good Bull fully understands the dynamic in Hotwife or cuckold couple play, and very much cares about the needs of the couple.

Mrs"

FULLY AGREE

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All advice gratefully received.

But that is literally what a BULL is...someone who fucks other peoples wives without a care in the world...

The only help i could advise is change your heading to BULL WANTED

No that’s not true. A good Bull fully understands the dynamic in Hotwife or cuckold couple play, and very much cares about the needs of the couple.

Mrs

FULLY AGREE

Completely agree, being a bull (hate that word) is definitely NOT just about shagging somebody else’s wife. This is a 3 way relationship that takes time and a helluva lot of trust to make it work properly.

OP some really good advice given here, get out and attend socials, meet other people and find out more about guys local to you. If there is a local club find out if they cater for cuckold hotwife nights. PS you don’t actually have to play at these.

Shorten your profile and yes a bit more information about yourselves rather than negative DO’s and DONT’s about what you seek might help

My tuppence worth

Rok

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All advice gratefully received."

Have you tried clubs? Always easier to meet reliable people in clubs, plus there are specialist cuckolding and hotwifing nights that could help narrow the search. Good luck

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