FabSwingers.com forum: Question for the ladies

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I know as a single lady you must get swamped with messages some good some bad but do you read them all? I mean ive sent litterally hundreds of messages that go unread im just wondering wat the process is?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know as a single lady you must get swamped with messages some good some bad but do you read them all? I mean ive sent litterally hundreds of messages that go unread im just wondering wat the process is?"

hey, i'm not a lady, but i'm going to answer anyway! personally i have found chatting in the rooms is the best way to make new friends that may, or may not lead to meets... either way its a good way of getting known....just be friendly, be yourself and dont expect too much too soon. personally i have sent very few messages to people i haven't spoken to in chat first. I appreciate people will use the tools on this site differently...so each to their own. In response to you original question, i would look at the profile carefully, pick out something specific to that profile (maybe a mutual interest?), make it a bit different, and again, be yourself. Women get dozens of messages a day, i am priviliged to have seen a few inboxes and the standard of messaging leaves a lot to be desired.... haven't seen yours so can't comment but...the fact you have sent "litterally (sic) hundreds" with no reply would suggest, and i'm playing devils advoate here, a lack of imagination. Not quite sure how this has turned into such an essay...i think i have just got over excited about posting on a forum...

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

No...

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I used to get swamped but not since ive set all my filters up. But if it is a one line message i dont bother to open it.

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

No a single lady but I'm still going to comment

We read all messages but then we aren't swamped with them.

But we don't always reply if we feel that they are not what we are looking for or that they haven't read our profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always read all of my messages x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i read all my mail, i dont reply to them all tho

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By *acciWoman
over a year ago

leeds

I read all my mail and used to reply to aal,but seem to be getting " you wanna shag NOW" messages so delete them and sometimes block. Just send a nice more than one line message and play the waiting game like most have to sorry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we read all mail no matter who it is from,but only reply to those that have clearly read and understood our wishes from our profile,unfortunately we have to block more than we reply to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am a single lady, i read every single message and reply to every single message too. If someone has taken the time and trouble to message me, its only polite that i reply back, even if its a no thank you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do read every message that is sent, but like some others if the message is from someone who fror example is 20 years younger than my profile states I like or just a "Hi" message I tend to just delete it.

Any message that has been thought out and sent always gets a response even if the answer is going to be no thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

until recently i was a single fem playing on here.

and yes did get a lot of messages.

I always tried to respond to messages from guys in my area. And deleted messages from miles away, but i did state that on my profile.

I do wonder if some people dont respond/read all messages, as they then get into message ping pong, even though their first reply was a 'no thanks'.

I know its no excuse for not replying to you, but it could explain why some people dont respond?

If your message contains more than one line, it has to be at least opened to be read!

good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know as a single lady you must get swamped with messages some good some bad but do you read them all?"

No, I delete unread the ones who are out of my area, out of my age range, or which obviously only contain a few words.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

"I know as a single lady you must get swamped with messages some good some bad but do you read them all?

No, I delete unread the ones who are out of my area, out of my age range, or which obviously only contain a few words."

Now i know why you never reply to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if its a first message with no pic attached, i look on their profile to see if there is a face pic on it before i read the message... if still none, i delete without reading x

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

I agree. Somebody I used to meet let me see her inbox one day. The standard of messages was terrible. It was one lingers like

Hi honey how are you? With a cock pic and nothing else enclosed.

U fancy some sex? With a cock pic and nothing else enclosed.

Fansy a shag? With a cock pic and nothing else enclosed.

I want to fuck you. With a cock pic and nothing else enclosed.

What u into? With a cock pic and nothing else enclosed.

I know you are not into guys under 30 but would you consider me? With a cock pic and nothing else enclosed.

As AJ said message people you would genuinely like to meet. Take time to read their profile. When you message them talk about something in their profile that you like. Show them you don't just see them as a piece of meat or an easy shag.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No.... I only read the ones that have my 'word' in the header.. If they can't be bothered to actually read my profile then even if I like the pic I don't answer. Every one that has it in I will reply too even if it's a polite no thank you..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i read all the messages and if are suitable i hit reply or i hit delete

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I read all,

I delete;

one liners or those obviously copied and pasted for couples,

those that clearly haven't read my profile, (cam invitations)

those that just contain mobile numbers (In a first message)

those that are nasty (also get blocked)

Sometimes if the person is miles away, out of my age range etc I delete, however they usually get a thanks but no thanks.

If I can see they have messaged me again, after having a thanks but no thanks message a few weeks ago, I will delete and if it happens for a third time I block.

My favs are those where they get my name wrong, despite it being on my profile and it being my real name!!

I read all the others and base my decision on the contents of the message and their profiles.

If I am running behind I will also apologise for the late response, even if it's a thanks but no thanks.

I use the forums (obviously) so my inbox gets less attention and response time can be tardy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

thing is if you reply with a no thanks they could come back with why etc

and i hate it x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I understand deleting the messages out of area age range etc and the one liners OBVIOUSLY dont warrant a reply but im more meaning a genuinely freshly typed message to someone whos profile youve read whos preferences u meet age etc not being read at all. Deleted i can understand if im not ur cup of tea then no problem but it just doesnt make any sense to me. I think im startin to get on my own nerves now sorry just had a bad day

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By *BW38jWoman
over a year ago

Dudley/Telford

read them all but dont necessarily reply especially when its s single line like 'fancy a fuck' lol just not enough time

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall

It can be frustrating. Dont put in more effort than you can without resenting it, enjoy the site and anything else is a bonus.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was meeting I'd mass delete without reading or looking at profile everyone outside my preferences.

Anyone who on paper met my criteria but I didn't fancy them for whatever reason would get a thanks but no thanks letter.

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By *--Cinders---Couple
over a year ago

a place near Blackpool

i read all my mail and i reply to everyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You do realise that if u send a one liner messge u don't have to open the mail! U can see it. Just a thought because I had a gent who went a bit mad because he didn't think I was reading them. But when I explained I could rear the whole thing cause it was so short he backed off tail between his legs. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One line messages like "hi u ok" wont get you a reply from me

BUT

the one line message i would reply to would have to make me smile and laugh out loud then i would reply

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By *ISPCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham

A little while ago on a similar site I had a female profile in addition to our couple's profile, then and indeed now we got a lot of people that didn't read our profile, clearly out of our requirements, people who only wrote 1 liners (if that) or even sometimes rude/vulgar messages.

I took the view that if someone wrote to me I would always write back as it is only courteous. However often the replies were only the polite no variety or those saying congratulations you're blocked.

Single ladies do get a lot of mail so make yours different, make sure you spell things properly, make your messages readable - some messages we received were almost written backwards!

As other site members have said, use the chat rooms and the forums, attend any socials you can and even try clubs and be nice to everyone as we're all only here for pleasure.

Good luck.

Zara x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also, don't discount the fact that your profile will only show the latest message status. So if your message is read, then deleted, you will only see deleted...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Also, don't discount the fact that your profile will only show the latest message status. So if your message is read, then deleted, you will only see deleted..."

true x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i just would find it impossible to open all the mail i receive never mind reply. i tend to get my meets via chat rooms as i interact on there more often. so to sit there and go through the mail i receive and open and reply would leave me very little time to do what i come on this site to do, which is have fun.

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By *abe1200Couple
over a year ago

belfast

[Removed by poster at 31/10/11 16:29:49]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always 'intend' to answer, but then forget to do it, before I know it a week has passed on some of them and I probably can't be arsed by then

...I do mostly though.

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

No if they havent read my profile then they get deleted...if they persist..they get blocked..just easier all round

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

"I understand deleting the messages out of area age range etc and the one liners OBVIOUSLY dont warrant a reply but im more meaning a genuinely freshly typed message to someone whos profile youve read whos preferences u meet age etc not being read at all. Deleted i can understand if im not ur cup of tea then no problem but it just doesnt make any sense to me. I think im startin to get on my own nerves now sorry just had a bad day

For what its worth here's my take on it,, when you searched the profiles by age gender etc you would have messaged the people that caught your eye for whatever reason that was, you rejected the others for whatever reason, the mail you sent was unsolicited as such the people receiving the mail will use their preferences ( even though you seem compatible using your search fields) to reply to the ones who interest them, I wondered long and hard ( there's a subliminal message there ladies.) about the same thing , wasted energy, my suggestion is keep doing the original messages, be patient, expect no replies, anything else is a bonus , concentrate on your inbox thats the important one, what others do with their mail you can't influence, best of luck..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only read the messages from ppl that meet what I am looking for. If they have read my profile I know lol

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Spot on!

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