FabSwingers.com forum: Aww not again :-(

By *cceptedKink OP Man
over a year ago

Coventry

Hi all

Wondering if anyone can impart some advice or even just sweet tea and a biscuit.

It almost runs to a script - Guy sees profile gets ideas, imagination runs riot until we get the penultimate message "Will have to see what she says when I get home from work" or "Will have to see what she says when she gets in". I reckon you guess what comes next - "she" has no idea of the previous conversation even though their profile has verifications aplenty, so we're told "lady from del kinky says no". Of course there are those who are genuinely waiting for her decision and so far not one female has approved us.

What are we doing wrong? Too many pictures? Our third attempt at the text could be improved?

Thanks - Dave and Claire

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

The male half of them has had his wank?

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

It’s not your profile at all - it’s just the way other couples who look at your profile operate - I’ve found it tends to be the lady that makes the final decision, so maybe trying to get that to happen early on might improve meet chances. Just how you do that, though, apart from saying so in your profile, I don’t know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will be honest and say that me and L are often on fab at different times, due to shift work. So we will happily chat to people individually, but will never arrange anything without the others consent. So I have said a few times after chatting to people that it depends on L being comfortable, rather that then lying to people. Xx

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By *cceptedKink OP Man
over a year ago

Coventry

"The male half of them has had his wank? "

Bang on with half or more yes.

"It’s not your profile at all - it’s just - snip - Just how you do that, though, apart from saying so in your profile, I don’t know. "

Third time we've rewritten the text since Xmas. We did try offering various means of early confirmation but that too seemed too much bother it seems. In the meantime there's much less time wasted with single guys, so we remain patient. One day aah hahaha she will make first contact

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By *cceptedKink OP Man
over a year ago

Coventry

"will never arrange anything without the others consent. So I have said a few times after chatting to people that it depends on L being comfortable, rather that then lying to people. Xx"
Well at least you're honest

I think we're going to cut to confirmation and consent early on. Maybe no chat until then

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

I think we're going to cut to confirmation and consent early on. Maybe no chat until then

That's deffo the way forward. If you make clear you want to speak to the femme half early in it cuts out the wanking male halves and single male fantastists

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe... just maybe the female half thought your pics were just a little too kinky for her liking?

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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

He doesn't message on our profile, he will read through the messages but its me who does the posting and chatting.

Just one point that could be the deal breaker for you is your 'No kissing' rule. Speaking as a female, kissing is incredibly important to us... it makes the difference between a cold fuck and a hot experience.

Just a thought.

Hope you find what youare looking for. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That would really work if you were chatting to a couple like us. I am self conscious being the male replying from a couple profile that people may think we are fake.

If someone asked to wait to hear from L before chatting, I would have no problem. No genuine people would. Xx

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Are you chatting about what you are going to do to each other? If so I reckon that's what could be the problem.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

I think we're going to cut to confirmation and consent early on. Maybe no chat until then

That's deffo the way forward. If you make clear you want to speak to the femme half early in it cuts out the wanking male halves and single male fantastists"

Definitely x

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By *cceptedKink OP Man
over a year ago

Coventry

"Maybe... just maybe the female half thought your pics were just a little too kinky for her liking?

We've moved the hotter ones to our friends and even private pics, oh dear lol. You may be on to something

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By *cceptedKink OP Man
over a year ago

Coventry

"... it makes the difference between a cold fuck and a hot experience.

Just a thought.

Hope you find what you are looking for. Xx"

Kissing is hot, oh very, yes indeed, which is why we keep that for us, like some keep anal only for their partner I suppose

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe... just maybe the female half thought your pics were just a little too kinky for her liking?

We've moved the hotter ones to our friends and even private pics, oh dear lol. You may be on to something"

Something about a KitKat that I will never be able to eat one the same way ever again

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We never contact or suggest that a meet might be possible unless both of us have agreed first. Maybe ask first and don't continue until the lady is on board.

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By *cceptedKink OP Man
over a year ago

Coventry

"Are you chatting about what you are going to do to each other? If so I reckon that's what could be the problem."
Oh we were caught with that early on and avoid that altogether. Even the answer to "what are you into" has been cooled down.

We may even stop fabbing pics as it seems couples don't fab as that's "often a man on a fabbing spree", so we don't want to be viewed as fake. It's a minefield eh

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By *cceptedKink OP Man
over a year ago

Coventry

"Maybe ask first and don't continue until the lady is on board."
That's it for us, you're right

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Good luck OP xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I work from home, Shaz works in a factory, I have a fair few times got nattering to someone on here, think they sound great and look nice only for Shaz to say no when she gets home.

Maybe we should only talk to people when we are both sat at the computer at the same time

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By *ikilovesCCouple
over a year ago

village life, closest main town inverness

Can't say as there's anything wrong with your profile,

would suspect Msgiveswood has hit the nail on the head lol

Oh and, it's hubby on a fabbing spree here

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By *cceptedKink OP Man
over a year ago

Coventry

Thanks to all who've chipped in, you've been a great help. Cheers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love ya pics we have had same. Keep looking it will sort it’s self out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Avoid sex talk as it just gets used for wanking.

If you want to meet people chat to get to know each other a bit if that works for you and then meet for a social or play.

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By *cceptedKink OP Man
over a year ago

Coventry

"Avoid sex talk as it just gets used for wanking.

If you want to meet people chat to get to know each other a bit if that works for you and then meet for a social or play. "
Claire does the approvals even before we start chatting, leaves me to drive this bus and then rubber stamps the messages before we send. Can see nothing wrong with your shoes btw

Oh we do try to avoid sex talk, had our fingers burned a while ago which lead to an unnecessarily late night

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The male half of them has had his wank?

Bang on with half or more yes.

It’s not your profile at all - it’s just - snip - Just how you do that, though, apart from saying so in your profile, I don’t know.

You're talking sexual I imagine. Are you wanking too?

My advice would be to not give them anything to wank over and ask to speak to the woman.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi guys! It's probably all been covered here to be honest but for what it's worth, hubby does 90% of the messaging (I just lurk around the forums a lot

)

Generally he'll always show me a profile and first message before he goes any further to avoid hitting a brick wall a few messages in. We avoid sex talk and if EVERYONE is on board I'll generally speak to the Mrs to confirm. Fingers crossed, this seems to work for us.

Good luck UP, let the good times roll for you both

Mrs x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its probably the male half looking for cyber, or she either doesn't exist or has no idea she's being used as bait by her partner for wank conversations

we are on at different times and interact with people individually but know what each other likes so wouldn't waste your time conversing if we knew you wouldn't be for the other partner

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By *cceptedKink OP Man
over a year ago

Coventry

The Brain, Mrs X, Janey, thanks and yes you've all hit on various nails square. We don't use the convo's as wank fodder or even as a pre nookie stimulant, we had a very hot exchange with a guy whose wife approved prior to the hours spent chatting, then she got cold feet, last minute nerves or the hump but killed any chance of meeting dead.

We've been looking, talking and discussing profiles for rather longer than this profile shows, so we have a pretty good idea of each others tastes in people and activities, so if either of us isn't available and something arises, we can make initial contact but will now stop it there and tell them the conversation can only continue when we're all here.

Thanks again guys. All good advice and it looks like patience is all we need now XX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I should just give people the benefit of the doubt and that way you don't get so resentful of other peoples motives or ways.

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By *cceptedKink OP Man
over a year ago

Coventry

"I should just give people the benefit of the doubt and that way you don't get so resentful of other peoples motives or ways.

"
ooooh sorry if that to us sounds a bit catty but we always give the benefit of the doubt and have been for the 7 years we've been around here. If you like spending hours talking to people you've given the benefit of the doubt, to find she either gets the hump or cold feet, doesn't exist or used as bait, that's fine, I'd rather swing with these people than play pretend.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's definitely a "sweet spot" - too rushed and there are red flags and too drawn out and it loses impetus. We prefer a phone call as soon as a meet is on the cards really.

You might want to remove the occult picture ( the wooden star just visible) unless this is a subtle attractor sign for you

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By *cceptedKink OP Man
over a year ago

Coventry

"There's definitely a "sweet spot" - too rushed and there are red flags and too drawn out and it loses impetus. We prefer a phone call as soon as a meet is on the cards really.

You might want to remove the occult picture ( the wooden star just visible) unless this is a subtle attractor sign for you"
Getting that meet on the cards in the first place would be great LOL, and then getting that sweet spot right for every couple would sell books.

Claire can't make calls or take them from anyone she doesn't know from having already met (too much and too personal to go into here) There are plenty of image based methods though, like holding a piece of paper with the date or their name on and sent direct from their phone, some seem confused by that. Then of course there are other apps which allow picture messages or even video messaging. Don't ask me to explain the anomalous nature between phone calls and other messages - I take it as it is

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By *cceptedKink OP Man
over a year ago

Coventry

Well we've had some great advice, thank you all, we'll bow out of this topic now and hopefully we can return a favour some how

Cheers

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"Can't say as there's anything wrong with your profile,

would suspect Msgiveswood has hit the nail on the head lol

Oh and, it's hubby on a fabbing spree here

I'm used to spotting the signs, it's more prevalent from Thursday until Sunday too lol xx

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By *addyandbabyCouple
over a year ago

Bideford

"I will be honest and say that me and L are often on fab at different times, due to shift work. So we will happily chat to people individually, but will never arrange anything without the others consent. So I have said a few times after chatting to people that it depends on L being comfortable, rather that then lying to people. Xx"

Totally this with us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I, the bi fem half, always like to have contact with the female half of the couple. This will include a phone conversation just to make sure we are both happy before a meet goes ahead.

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By *ikilovesCCouple
over a year ago

village life, closest main town inverness

"Can't say as there's anything wrong with your profile,

would suspect Msgiveswood has hit the nail on the head lol

Oh and, it's hubby on a fabbing spree here

I'm used to spotting the signs, it's more prevalent from Thursday until Sunday too lol xx"

You're a very observant lady

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately it's exactly that with us. My husband will put in all the leg work to get a conversation started with a couple, exchange photos etc but then the vast majority of the time that'll be when I look at the face pics and usually they're just not my type. It happens time and time again where hubby will think they look perfectly fine but I don't. It's very frustrating for him but then I also don't believe either of us should "take one for the team". So as frustrating as it is for all concerned, I very much doubt you're doing anything wrong, it's just that the males half can sometimes get a little ahead of themself.

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