FabSwingers.com forum: First time swinging advice

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi female here.

We have never swapped partners before but really like the idea of it.

I've had sex with another man in front of my partner and he really enjoyed it but I don't like the idea of my partner(male) messing around or having sex with another women. I only can have sex with another man when we take the apart from that I couldn't even imagine myself doing that. .

Am i being unfair to my partner cause I had sex with another man but he can't with another women.

He thinks about other women when we take the and likes the thought of him with another women but I just can't agree with that

Overall it was his idea and he wanted me to have sex with someone else in front of him.

Any advice or thought?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

invite me over for a weekend ,be a pleasure to help ..

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By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago

Beyond the shadows.

You should probably sit down and talk to your husband about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only do what feels comfortable... or it might make you feel shit and could cause issues xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its you being unfair. I'd tie you down amd gag you and make you watch.

Just kidding. But if it was his idea and you never agreed on it then you are being selfish.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It was his fantasy to watch me with someone else.

I don't fantasies about him with a women it actually makes me feel very uncomfortable just the thought of it. I know how amazing sex is with him and I want to keep him for myself yes that's selfish but in my head I wouldn't be comfortable watching another women enjoy it as much I do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It was his fantasy to watch me with someone else.

But if he wants to then and you don't want him to then it will create issues in your relationship. Maybe even break it. You and him need to sit down and have a real talk before even meeting anyone else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You should probably sit down and talk to your husband about it.

I can't even stand the thought of it all sober. It's only when we are on . We get really filthy. I can't discuss any of this stuff sober "

Then you have real issues. Not even trying to be a dick.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You should probably sit down and talk to your husband about it.

I can't even stand the thought of it all sober. It's only when we are on . We get really filthy. I can't discuss any of this stuff sober

Then you have real issues. Not even trying to be a dick. "

I'm just being weird then I suppose

So should i just agrre with it and see how it goes?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You should probably sit down and talk to your husband about it.

I can't even stand the thought of it all sober. It's only when we are on . We get really filthy. I can't discuss any of this stuff sober

Then you have real issues. Not even trying to be a dick.

I'm just being weird then I suppose

So should i just agrre with it and see how it goes?"

Yes if he is on here for the same reasons as you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You should probably sit down and talk to your husband about it.

I can't even stand the thought of it all sober. It's only when we are on . We get really filthy. I can't discuss any of this stuff sober

Then you have real issues. Not even trying to be a dick.

I'm just being weird then I suppose

So should i just agrre with it and see how it goes?

Yes if he is on here for the same reasons as you. "

But we only made this to get a man over in the first place

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Relax and enjoy xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You should probably sit down and talk to your husband about it.

I can't even stand the thought of it all sober. It's only when we are on . We get really filthy. I can't discuss any of this stuff sober

Then you have real issues. Not even trying to be a dick.

I'm just being weird then I suppose

So should i just agrre with it and see how it goes?

Yes if he is on here for the same reasons as you.

But we only made this to get a man over in the first place "

But if he's wanting a lass and your against it then before you arrange another meet you need to talk about, what you both want now as I can clearly see the aim of this site has changed for you two.

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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

I can only assume that the missing words in your posts are not acceptable on here? On ???

If you need to be on anything to do this you are in the wrong place. Whatever it is you are on is affecting your judgement.

Do this with a clear clean head only.

Have the sober discussion with your partner before you fuck up your relationship forever.

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By *ITJOEMan
over a year ago

London

Speaking from experience, he probably gets as much enjoyment watching you having another guy, maybe even more so because he won't be feeling the guilt of enjoying someone else. I played with a couple regularly and the guy told me this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Speaking from experience, he probably gets as much enjoyment watching you having another guy, maybe even more so because he won't be feeling the guilt of enjoying someone else. I played with a couple regularly and the guy told me this."

But she doesn't want him to see other people. This is her issue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op swinging is a lifestyle choice if you didn't willingly agree to swing as a couple then it's not for u ,it sounds like you're hubby had a fantasy bout you with another man which u fulfilled u had no such fantasy and either drink or drugs have been an influence in your decision

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By *ITJOEMan
over a year ago

London

But she doesn't want him to see other people. This is her issue. "

Yes I understand that but the point I'm trying to make is that he probably gets as much enjoyment watching her with another guy as he would get being with another woman.

It's hard to know because they only talk about it when they are on it so inhibitors are out the window at that point.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok so if you're not comfortable with your partner doing - don't agree to it. When it starts the likelihood is you are going to feel even less comfortable and if not then- certainly afterwards.

If your partner knows this he shouldn't push you into doing anything you don't want to do.

As someone stated you've tried a fantasy and enjoyed it. It shouldn't be used as a bargaining tool or tit for tat for you to do it in return.

Ultimately you have to be comfortable in what you are doing otherwise you will be hurting yourself and others and should never be forced into doing something your not happy with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok so if you're not comfortable with your partner doing - don't agree to it. When it starts the likelihood is you are going to feel even less comfortable and if not then- certainly afterwards.

If your partner knows this he shouldn't push you into doing anything you don't want to do.

As someone stated you've tried a fantasy and enjoyed it. It shouldn't be used as a bargaining tool or tit for tat for you to do it in return.

Ultimately you have to be comfortable in what you are doing otherwise you will be hurting yourself and others and should never be forced into doing something your not happy with.

If he wants to try other lasses he should be able to. Its seems very selfish for him to want to and have his lass not let him. I'd call her a hypocrit if she was my gf.

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By *alking DisasterWoman
over a year ago

South Oxfordshire

"Ok so if you're not comfortable with your partner doing - don't agree to it. When it starts the likelihood is you are going to feel even less comfortable and if not then- certainly afterwards.

If your partner knows this he shouldn't push you into doing anything you don't want to do.

As someone stated you've tried a fantasy and enjoyed it. It shouldn't be used as a bargaining tool or tit for tat for you to do it in return.

Ultimately you have to be comfortable in what you are doing otherwise you will be hurting yourself and others and should never be forced into doing something your not happy with.

If he wants to try other lasses he should be able to. Its seems very selfish for him to want to and have his lass not let him. I'd call her a hypocrit if she was my gf. "

You need to grow up.

She is not a hypocrite. She (and he) can say no at any point if it makes them feel uncomfortable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok so if you're not comfortable with your partner doing - don't agree to it. When it starts the likelihood is you are going to feel even less comfortable and if not then- certainly afterwards.

If your partner knows this he shouldn't push you into doing anything you don't want to do.

As someone stated you've tried a fantasy and enjoyed it. It shouldn't be used as a bargaining tool or tit for tat for you to do it in return.

Ultimately you have to be comfortable in what you are doing otherwise you will be hurting yourself and others and should never be forced into doing something your not happy with.

If he wants to try other lasses he should be able to. Its seems very selfish for him to want to and have his lass not let him. I'd call her a hypocrit if she was my gf.

You need to grow up.

She is not a hypocrite. She (and he) can say no at any point if it makes them feel uncomfortable."

But if he wants to have fun too then she should allow him to. Its him that wants to explore too. And the more that she stops him from exploring the more likely he will cheat or cause issues in the relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hypocrit? Really?

So you'd be quiet happy doing something your partner wasn't enjoying or happy with?

As long as your happy?

Nice one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hypocrit? Really?

So you'd be quiet happy doing something your partner wasn't enjoying or happy with?

As long as your happy?

Nice one. "

Swinging is about both parties being happy and a relationship is about sacrifices. If they can't agree on it then they should stop and talk. But as she can't talk about it sober then she should stop dead.

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

"Ok so if you're not comfortable with your partner doing - don't agree to it. When it starts the likelihood is you are going to feel even less comfortable and if not then- certainly afterwards.

If your partner knows this he shouldn't push you into doing anything you don't want to do.

As someone stated you've tried a fantasy and enjoyed it. It shouldn't be used as a bargaining tool or tit for tat for you to do it in return.

Ultimately you have to be comfortable in what you are doing otherwise you will be hurting yourself and others and should never be forced into doing something your not happy with.

If he wants to try other lasses he should be able to. Its seems very selfish for him to want to and have his lass not let him. I'd call her a hypocrit if she was my gf. "

Think that’s a bit harsh tbf. We are all here for different shit (a lot like the ‘why you even on here’ messages I get for not seeking 1-2-1 meets).

If MMF is all they do then cool, crack on.

If the fella just suggested signing up to get an mmf as a ruse to then get his hands on other women then thats a bit sad too. She doesn’t ‘owe’ him anything just because the first scenario didn’t involve another lass. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hold on the the ropes dont fall off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok so if you're not comfortable with your partner doing - don't agree to it. When it starts the likelihood is you are going to feel even less comfortable and if not then- certainly afterwards.

If your partner knows this he shouldn't push you into doing anything you don't want to do.

As someone stated you've tried a fantasy and enjoyed it. It shouldn't be used as a bargaining tool or tit for tat for you to do it in return.

Ultimately you have to be comfortable in what you are doing otherwise you will be hurting yourself and others and should never be forced into doing something your not happy with.

If he wants to try other lasses he should be able to. Its seems very selfish for him to want to and have his lass not let him. I'd call her a hypocrit if she was my gf.

Think that’s a bit harsh tbf. We are all here for different shit (a lot like the ‘why you even on here’ messages I get for not seeking 1-2-1 meets).

If MMF is all they do then cool, crack on.

Its not about him being shit about him watching guys fuck her, its about her feeling possessive and jealous of other lasses with him. But he is also free to explore right?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You should probably sit down and talk to your husband about it.

I can't even stand the thought of it all sober. It's only when we are on . We get really filthy. I can't discuss any of this stuff sober "

Dump him. What kind of man gets his girlfriend drugged up so she'll fuck other men??!!!

The word that's missing is the c word in your profile name.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hypocrit? Really?

So you'd be quiet happy doing something your partner wasn't enjoying or happy with?

As long as your happy?

Nice one. "

That's not swinging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just think that as a single guy there's no way I'd go ahead with anything if the other party wasn't 100% into it. What's the point? I wouldn't enjoy it knowing that and I'd want that person to be relaxed.

Yes I may try something in the heat of the moment and then think - nope, not for me (putting a pink wig on for example- that has not happened - never!)

But it has to be mutual or what's the point? Add a marriage/ relationship into that and your just asking for trouble.

Drugs or no drugs. Same rules apply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just think that as a single guy there's no way I'd go ahead with anything if the other party wasn't 100% into it. What's the point? I wouldn't enjoy it knowing that and I'd want that person to be relaxed.

Yes I may try something in the heat of the moment and then think - nope, not for me (putting a pink wig on for example- that has not happened - never!)

But it has to be mutual or what's the point? Add a marriage/ relationship into that and your just asking for trouble.

Drugs or no drugs. Same rules apply. "

This guy nailed it, sex is and always will come down to what you're comfortable with. That includes what boundries you are comfortable crossing. Ignore any gimp that tells you, you're selfish/hypocritical for doing what you want. That's the entire spirit of this place!

ThatGuy

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By *roquoisMan
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"Hi female here.

We have never swapped partners before but really like the idea of it.

Am i being unfair to my partner cause I had sex with another man but he can't with another women.

He thinks about other women when we take the and likes the thought of him with another women but I just can't agree with that

Overall it was his idea and he wanted me to have sex with someone else in front of him.

Any advice or thought? "

Think really carefully before continuing.

I was with the most amazing lady and we spoke about things before entering the scene. She was really keen to experiment and try new things so our journey began. We went to our local swingers club a few times, opened a couples profile on here and had a few meets.

It was always stressed that nothing would happen that made us uncomfy or could lead to problems and everything was fine at first, as we just played with other males at the parties and only had fab meets with guys. However, at one of the club parties, although it was agreed both of us could play, after she saw me licking another woman's pussy she could not get that image out of her head. She told me I could not have loved her to have done that and it led to the collapse of our relationship. The last thing I ever wanted to happen. She was bitter and angry and all over something that need not have happened if she had been able to express her real feelings before it happened.

Tread with caution.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I may try something in the heat of the moment and then think - nope, not for me (putting a pink wig on for example- that has not happened - never!)

But it has to be mutual or what's the point? Add a marriage/ relationship into that and your just asking for trouble.

Drugs or no drugs. Same rules apply.

ThatGuy

But how is it not?

She wants to fuck guys and he's ok with it, but he wants other lasses and she's all jealous and touchy about it. To me thats not swinging. For me that is grounds for him to think fuck you and fuck a lass behind her back. Wouldn't surprise me if he already hasn't.

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

I will state from a personal level, when in a couple, I LOVED seeing the man I loved having pleasure from another woman. It wasn’t deceitful and he didn’t love me any less. It was me that fell asleep with him, spooning, at the end of the night.

I know it’s not for everyone and you can’t help how you feel but things are different if you look at it from a different angle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I may try something in the heat of the moment and then think - nope, not for me (putting a pink wig on for example- that has not happened - never!)

But it has to be mutual or what's the point? Add a marriage/ relationship into that and your just asking for trouble.

Drugs or no drugs. Same rules apply.

ThatGuy

But how is it not?

I get that, but to tell someone how they feel isnt "right" i dunno, just seems unfair? And yeah ultimately that comes down to him, and also what he is comfortable doing, communication is key with all of this stuff

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I may try something in the heat of the moment and then think - nope, not for me (putting a pink wig on for example- that has not happened - never!)

But it has to be mutual or what's the point? Add a marriage/ relationship into that and your just asking for trouble.

Drugs or no drugs. Same rules apply.

ThatGuy

But how is it not?

Let's agree to disagree. I'm off to do something I hate and feel uncomfortable about. Work.

Actually I quite like my job so I'm lying.

Peace.

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

Well that’s them UNLOS

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well that’s them UNLOS"

Best of luck to them

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By *igJandTheBlondeCouple
over a year ago

Kings Hill

And that’s why you’re on here as a single man. You’ve no idea of the couple dynamic in play here so to call her a hypocrite is harsh. You can’t force someone to be comfortable with you doing something, sounds like you are confusing swinging with an opportunity to cheat; it’s not that at all! It’s about everyone getting value out of the sexual situations you are in. If she isn’t entirely comfortable or enjoys the idea then she gets nothing out of it, except hurt and confusion. That’s not swinging.

If I were your girlfriend and you’d wanted to see me have sex with someone else but then called me a hyprocrite because I didn’t have the same fantasies then I would immediately be your ex girlfriend.

Think before you advise if you don’t know what advice you’re giving.

The blonde

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By *igJandTheBlondeCouple
over a year ago

Kings Hill

[Removed by poster at 03/04/18 09:12:42]

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By *igJandTheBlondeCouple
over a year ago

Kings Hill

Ooops sorry thought I had replied and quoted, it was in response to YG95’s post x

"And that’s why you’re on here as a single man. You’ve no idea of the couple dynamic in play here so to call her a hypocrite is harsh. You can’t force someone to be comfortable with you doing something, sounds like you are confusing swinging with an opportunity to cheat; it’s not that at all! It’s about everyone getting value out of the sexual situations you are in. If she isn’t entirely comfortable or enjoys the idea then she gets nothing out of it, except hurt and confusion. That’s not swinging.

Think before you advise if you don’t know what advice you’re giving.

The blonde"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 03/04/18 09:16:06]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ooops sorry thought I had replied and quoted, it was in response to YG95’s post x

Think before you advise if you don’t know what advice you’re giving.

The blonde"

Fair enough. But I feel you would disagree with me too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ooops sorry thought I had replied and quoted, it was in response to YG95’s post x

Think before you advise if you don’t know what advice you’re giving.

The blonde

Fair enough. But I feel you would disagree with me too. "

I would hope that everyone who has morals would disagree with you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jist of it is he wanted to watch her fuck another guy she never said if she was happy to do this or just did it to keep the peace that's his fantasy fulfilled she never said if it was hers to see him fuck another woman she just asked if her being too jealous to let him fuck any one was wrong she never at any point stated she was ok with him fucking other woman or stopping him from doing so

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