FabSwingers.com forum: Socials sex and meetings being transgender

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Why do people who want just the sex often look down on the people who seek the social side of the site?

It baffles how open minded this site is but has very close minded people. I understand and am fully aware many use this site for sex.

Is it asking too much for me to expect a social meet even though I am a transwoman?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is being trans related to having social meets?

Plenty of women on here want social meets before they play nothing wrong with that.

If guys don't want to have a social then don't meet them.

Plenty more fish in the sea.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swinging for me is about socialising the talking about interests and kinks and of course the sex

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I was trying to make the point of I basically get laughed at, when I say I like to have a social before anything. I know guys meet for drinks with women but with trans women it's more unheard of.

Defo know there's plenty more fish just wanted to know if it was common problem.

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By *ustJ0dieTV/TS
over a year ago

Burton-on-Trent

"I was trying to make the point of I basically get laughed at, when I say I like to have a social before anything. I know guys meet for drinks with women but with trans women it's more unheard of.

Defo know there's plenty more fish just wanted to know if it was common problem. "

Before bringing the trans element into it, not every guy on here will do a social with a single woman. Particularly those who aren't actually single. A lot see having a social as somehow breaking the laws on NSA sex, like the two aren't mutually compatible. They just want sex at the time and place of their choosing and minimal effort expended on their part to get it.

Then factor all that in with the stigma attached to being seen with a trans person in public and you might as well forget it. It's shite but people still aren't that open minded.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was trying to make the point of I basically get laughed at, when I say I like to have a social before anything. I know guys meet for drinks with women but with trans women it's more unheard of.

Defo know there's plenty more fish just wanted to know if it was common problem.

Then factor all that in with the stigma attached to being seen with a trans person in public and you might as well forget it. It's shite but people still aren't that open minded. "

Absolutely. It's shocking that people can assume we're hard up and available at the drop of a hat.

As time wears on the messages get worse. I offered to meet a couple for a social n see but unless I guaranteed an all nighter not entertained. It's a shame, some of my best meets have been a no expectations social. It's a lot of pressure on some one. Especially meeting two new faces.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Loads of people on site would rather not bother with a social meet first, and that's fine...I tend to not meet those people.

Not sure there's that much weight to it being because you're trans. However, if anyone gives you that as a reason, jog them on!

Stick with what makes you comfortable OP, if they can't meet that criteria then it's their loss!

On a completely seperate note...you have incredible legs!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I appreciate all your words it's always good to know that I'm not being extra about situations.

And thank you for the compliment

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

I ignore men who won't do socials.

I wonder if people are wary about being seen out and about with a bloke dressed in women's clothes. This is not the reason in your case, as you are gorgeous.

Just move on and wait for people interested in meeting you socially to find you or you can block people and search yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was trying to make the point of I basically get laughed at, when I say I like to have a social before anything. I know guys meet for drinks with women but with trans women it's more unheard of.

Defo know there's plenty more fish just wanted to know if it was common problem. "

Ahhh I see

Any man who wants to meet you but wouldn't want to be seen in public with you because you're trans isn't worth your time. Honestly

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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

I would treat their not wanting to meet socially first as a positive filter... anyone not happy to be seen with you isn't worth your time or effort. Stuff them, its their loss.

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By *layfull0nesCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

I don’t think it’s asking too much to expect a social meet even though you are a transsexual woman.

But I’m guessing it relies on other wishing to meet a transsexual.

I don’t think it’s close minded for people not wanting to meet a transsexual anymore than it is to not want to meet someone who may be balding or have facial hair.

Everyone has their preference. It’s not discriminatory not being narrow minded. It’s just people’s preference.

I sincerely hope you find what you seek.

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

I’d bite your hand off for a social if I was nearer.

You’re gorgeous x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you for your kind words and advice honestly means alot

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By *ollyGWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

I actually prefer that guys come to me, a little chat then get on with it, not everyone's choice but I'm here for sex x

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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

"I don’t think it’s asking too much to expect a social meet even though you are a transsexual woman.

But I’m guessing it relies on other wishing to meet a transsexual.

I don’t think it’s close minded for people not wanting to meet a transsexual anymore than it is to not want to meet someone who may be balding or have facial hair.

Everyone has their preference. It’s not discriminatory not being narrow minded. It’s just people’s preference.

I sincerely hope you find what you seek. "

Its not they dont want to meet for sex, they do... they dont want to do the social first.

That, in my opinion, is close minded. Its downright rude.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t think it’s asking too much to expect a social meet even though you are a transsexual woman.

But I’m guessing it relies on other wishing to meet a transsexual.

I don’t think it’s close minded for people not wanting to meet a transsexual anymore than it is to not want to meet someone who may be balding or have facial hair.

Everyone has their preference. It’s not discriminatory not being narrow minded. It’s just people’s preference.

I sincerely hope you find what you seek. "

It is close minded if you want to meet a trans woman for sex but don't want to meet for a trans woman social because you don't want to be seen in public with a woman who is trans

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

"I don’t think it’s asking too much to expect a social meet even though you are a transsexual woman.

But I’m guessing it relies on other wishing to meet a transsexual.

I don’t think it’s close minded for people not wanting to meet a transsexual anymore than it is to not want to meet someone who may be balding or have facial hair.

Everyone has their preference. It’s not discriminatory not being narrow minded. It’s just people’s preference.

I sincerely hope you find what you seek.

It is close minded if you want to meet a trans woman for sex but don't want to meet for a trans woman social because you don't want to be seen in public with a woman who is trans "

Bollocks is it.

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By *airyfatmanMan
over a year ago

by 'ere

I don’t see the issue with a social, regardless of who you’re meeting. Everyone should have the chance of being able to backnout if they just can’t get on with the person they’re meeting. Having said that, if you only plan a social but decide to have more then again there is no issue. We are all adults. I’d happily have a social with anyone, even if not intending to have sex. Always good to make friends

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By *ollyGWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

"Why do people who want just the sex often look down on the people who seek the social side of the site?

It baffles how open minded this site is but has very close minded people. I understand and am fully aware many use this site for sex.

Is it asking too much for me to expect a social meet even though I am a transwoman? "

Not at all, the meet would be a nice way of having a good laugh and seeing if you are suited, I just can't be bothered, I'm sure it's fun but not for me, happy fabbing x

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

"Why do people who want just the sex often look down on the people who seek the social side of the site?

It baffles how open minded this site is but has very close minded people. I understand and am fully aware many use this site for sex.

Is it asking too much for me to expect a social meet even though I am a transwoman?

Not at all, the meet would be a nice way of having a good laugh and seeing if you are suited, I just can't be bothered, I'm sure it's fun but not for me, happy fabbing x"

That's the spirit.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/03/18 21:32:16]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its unfair to berate the guys whom are attracted to Trans, they have to meet you in public without a disguise, they cannot hide behind wigs, cosmetics, feminine attire, they got to meet up just as they are, that takes a lot of courage, besides guys that tend to be attracted to trans are oft shy, nervous guys...

A social though a good thing is only for the experienced trans admirer and theres not that many of them about...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I agree there are so many different walks of life on here. Everyone has different opinions.

If I wanted sex there would be no reason for me to post in this forum. I defo get enough interest away from this site. That isn't my issue.

Just genuinely wanted to know people's views who are on this site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

hang in there though as there are experienced trans admirers on this site that will do socials

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do people who want just the sex often look down on the people who seek the social side of the site?

It baffles how open minded this site is but has very close minded people. I understand and am fully aware many use this site for sex.

Is it asking too much for me to expect a social meet even though I am a transwoman? "

About two years ago I gave up meeting unkown people on here anywhere but a venue for very much the same background story as you and others seem to be describing. A presumed, ‘you will fuck and on my terms’ etc and no ‘seeing how we get on’.

I have to say whilst I’ve probably taken myself away from a larger percentage of potential meets the quality and infact regularity of meets has sky rocketed.

Swinging regardless of gender is hugely social, get out to venues clubs etc and you meet a wonderful super trans friendly crowd... it restores your faith in the human race and in truth also reminds you that the hedonistic world of swinging isn’t really some guys awkwardly entering your flat/house, quickly cumming and practically fleeing half dressed afterwards because he’s having ‘gay’ guilt wash over him.

My advice, state the ‘terms of meet’ on your profile and stick to your guns... good times will follow x

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By *airyfatmanMan
over a year ago

by 'ere

"Why do people who want just the sex often look down on the people who seek the social side of the site?

It baffles how open minded this site is but has very close minded people. I understand and am fully aware many use this site for sex.

Is it asking too much for me to expect a social meet even though I am a transwoman?

I have to say whilst I’ve probably taken myself away from a larger percentage of potential meets the quality and infact regularity of meets has sky rocketed.

My advice, state the ‘terms of meet’ on your profile and stick to your guns... good times will follow x"

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By *ensualcouple99Couple
over a year ago

Colchester

We spoke to a trans woman in a club and after messaging a bit we suggested we meet half way for a meal. She was so surprised that we wanted to do this and said she'd never been asked out by a couple before.

She was living full time as a female and we didn't see it as a big deal, but she was really chuffed.

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By *layfull0nesCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

Its not they dont want to meet for sex, they do... they dont want to do the social first.

That, in my opinion, is close minded. Its downright rude. "

Apologies. I misunderstood your meaning.

I wholeheartedly agree with you.

For us a social meet would be a necessity.

But having said that, that is our preference. Quite a few people seem to just want to meet straight off the bat for sex. And that’s fine if that’s their preference. But it’s not for many.

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By *ollyGWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

I just chat to people, if I think we would get on then I meet, prob not the best way to do it buts that's me!

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

You are fully entitled to a social meet first, you are you entitled to whatever makes you feel comfortable.

If some guys don't want to do that, then just wait for the ones that will understand your needs, and possibly also a social first anyway.

Some guys do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was trying to make the point of I basically get laughed at, when I say I like to have a social before anything. I know guys meet for drinks with women but with trans women it's more unheard of.

Defo know there's plenty more fish just wanted to know if it was common problem. "

I haven't found that to be the case. Perhaps the men in question don't like meeting for socials with anyone?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t see the issue with a social, regardless of who you’re meeting. Everyone should have the chance of being able to backnout if they just can’t get on with the person they’re meeting. Having said that, if you only plan a social but decide to have more then again there is no issue. We are all adults. I’d happily have a social with anyone, even if not intending to have sex. Always good to make friends "

This sums it up for me

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By *ed Riding HoodWoman
over a year ago

Lancaster

Some men on here are absolute wankers(literally), but probably more are not .... you stick to your guns hunny and don’t be made to feel as though you should be pushed into something you don’t want and you definitely don’t need.

If a man is interested in you as a trans woman there are many places you can meet that are LGBTQ+ friendly for a social or even in a club with the proviso it’s only initially a social meet. Stay safe and true to yourself xx

Red xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t think it’s asking too much to expect a social meet even though you are a transsexual woman.

But I’m guessing it relies on other wishing to meet a transsexual.

I don’t think it’s close minded for people not wanting to meet a transsexual anymore than it is to not want to meet someone who may be balding or have facial hair.

Everyone has their preference. It’s not discriminatory not being narrow minded. It’s just people’s preference.

I sincerely hope you find what you seek.

It is close minded if you want to meet a trans woman for sex but don't want to meet for a trans woman social because you don't want to be seen in public with a woman who is trans

Bollocks is it."

Did you actually read my comment or just see my name and throw a swear word at what I said?

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By *uciyassMan
over a year ago

sheffield

Op I’m mainly here for the social side and all I get Is F me messages off people who aren’t even in my profile choices and who clearly don’t read. Many of the comments on here have been very honest and in favour of what you started on about in your post. Many will find ways to change tact with the course of the thread. So I would read the replies carefully before replying to individual post

And if you were closer I’d love to go out for a social with you

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

"I just chat to people, if I think we would get on then I meet, prob not the best way to do it buts that's me!"

It's worked great for me. From just chatting to the full monty with different people that I like.

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

Regarding the original question. And apologies if anyone said this already as it is quite obvious really.

People like different aspects. Some people actively respect the fact that other people have different ways of going about things. Some people are just twats.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

"I don’t think it’s asking too much to expect a social meet even though you are a transsexual woman.

But I’m guessing it relies on other wishing to meet a transsexual.

I don’t think it’s close minded for people not wanting to meet a transsexual anymore than it is to not want to meet someone who may be balding or have facial hair.

Everyone has their preference. It’s not discriminatory not being narrow minded. It’s just people’s preference.

I sincerely hope you find what you seek.

It is close minded if you want to meet a trans woman for sex but don't want to meet for a trans woman social because you don't want to be seen in public with a woman who is trans

Bollocks is it.

Did you actually read my comment or just see my name and throw a swear word at what I said?"

Of course i read it. And bollocks isn't a swear word.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

"I don’t think it’s asking too much to expect a social meet even though you are a transsexual woman.

But I’m guessing it relies on other wishing to meet a transsexual.

I don’t think it’s close minded for people not wanting to meet a transsexual anymore than it is to not want to meet someone who may be balding or have facial hair.

Everyone has their preference. It’s not discriminatory not being narrow minded. It’s just people’s preference.

I sincerely hope you find what you seek.

It is close minded if you want to meet a trans woman for sex but don't want to meet for a trans woman social because you don't want to be seen in public with a woman who is trans

Bollocks is it.

Did you actually read my comment or just see my name and throw a swear word at what I said?

Of course i read it. And bollocks isn't a swear word. "

Although... I'll admit i didn't read who had written it!

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By *arroness NikkiWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Why do people who want just the sex often look down on the people who seek the social side of the site?

It baffles how open minded this site is but has very close minded people. I understand and am fully aware many use this site for sex.

Is it asking too much for me to expect a social meet even though I am a transwoman? "

I've been finding it pretty difficult to find anyone up for meeting socially, the days i'm off probably don't help, but as everyone else says I'm just sticking to my guns and meeting where and when i feel comfy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do people who want just the sex often look down on the people who seek the social side of the site?

It baffles how open minded this site is but has very close minded people. I understand and am fully aware many use this site for sex.

Is it asking too much for me to expect a social meet even though I am a transwoman?

Get on tv chix for the social Nikki, I know a lot of lovely Scots girls and guys from there x

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By *abrielle247Couple (FF)
over a year ago

PDI Gran Canaria

If single guys want to meet us, they have to take us out first or a club meet, otherwise I am not bothered. I am not desperate and prefer quality than quantity.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"its unfair to berate the guys whom are attracted to Trans, they have to meet you in public without a disguise, they cannot hide behind wigs, cosmetics, feminine attire, they got to meet up just as they are, that takes a lot of courage, besides guys that tend to be attracted to trans are oft shy, nervous guys...

A social though a good thing is only for the experienced trans admirer and theres not that many of them about..."

I agree.

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By *abrielle247Couple (FF)
over a year ago

PDI Gran Canaria

A social though a good thing is only for the experienced trans admirer and theres not that many of them about...

I agree. "

Really, hadn't noticed. I guess it depends on where you live.

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By *arroness NikkiWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

" Get on tv chix for the social Nikki, I know a lot of lovely Scots girls and guys from there x"

I'm on there, and to be honest I've found it even more frustrating. For a time i was offering up one to one makeup advice (I'm not amazing at it but was keen to help others) and got pretty much no response. Nevermind

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