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after affects

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

hi folks,were new to the scene and went along to a club on sat where we both had an encounter and loved it.but since returning home afterwards everytime i think about going back i get a real fear and dont understand it as im wanting to hav this lifestyle,my hubby thought it was nervous excitement but its not its definatly a fear.could any1 tell me if they felt like this after theyre first time,thanks amelia xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it a fear of the fact you have done it and now what.

I dont know for you, but I know that this is going to sound stupid. but for me at times I get scared and fearful about what people would think if they knew.. Stupid I know.. I have also in the past.. ( not now) been scared that my partner would use it against me.

Talk, talk some more..and when your done talk a bit more..

Its a big thing... and dont think that even us that do this a lot dont sometimes have moments..

Is it a fear of anything specific.???

cali

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It may be the come down from having a good time and gently coming back to reality.

It could also be because you have tried something out of the ordinary from what you usually do and are coming to terms with it.

Take things easy and don't rush back if you don't feel comfortable, it sounds like you are having the "fight or flight" scenario.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

no cali,its nothing specific but mind u i really dont want to go back to the club,and yes it might be the fact that it has to do with what people will think,the club thing iv figured out we went to a local 1 which i think afterwards really sunk in if som1 had seen us, the other thing that just about freaked me was my hubby sent som1 a message nothing in it just a simple message but when i looked at their profile i got a huge fear looking at the man,is that normal,im want to do this again and were going to book a weekend away at a swingers hotel and im fine with that so i just want to know if its normal for this to happen,thamks amelia xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

yep sounds about right,but i want this lifestyle not for my hubby but for me and him to hav som casual adult fun with no strings no names even ,thanks amelia xx

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By *ortheastcoupleukCouple
over a year ago

easington were the sun dont shine

we first went to out local club and over the years have bumped into 6/7 ppl we know ,they there for same type reasons ,we didnt play but neither did they so maybe felt same as us, its probs just coming to terms with what you have done i(m) felt same way after our first meet and had to talk to her over what went on ,that was 10 yrs ago seems a bit silly now but you cant help your feelings and fears .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have had the same.. but I find when I get there its a great time..

For instance... I went to a gangbang.. as we pulled up outside the house.. I was all ready for asking Master to just drive on..and not stop...

Now I know if I had asked that we would have just gone.. but it was the irational fear.. including the "I may enjoy myself to much"

I have come out with the "what if I cum" which is a stupid one.. as Master points out that is kinda the point.. yet I do totally love doing what we do..

I think anyone at a club wont really care if they know you from outside...

As for the message from the guy.. perhaps you take control of the account for a bit.. find men you are interested in.. Perhaps it was what he was asking..

Maybe it was the fear of the unknown.. I know I still get it at times.

but remember, to just take it at your pace..as a good partner will know when you need encouraging and when you need to take the steps at your own pace.

cali x

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

A post club come down is quite common...the real world can seem little greyer...and we can get in a frame of mind where we worry about everything...including our behaviour at the club.

Concentrate on the things you enjoyed...snuggle with hubby and dont beat yourself up about the fact you arent instantly "hardened swingers".

Oh and chocolate,the darker the better,helps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if someone you know sees you in a club... i guess they will be just as embarrased as you are at being there.

after all , they are obviously there for the same reason so are not going to tell anyone about seeing you there as they will be also letting out their own little secret life

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

thankyou,that helps,we hav talked so much and i must admit it really does help,thanks amelia xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

thankyou its nice of u to reply to this and yes weve done lots of snuggling and talking,thanks amelia xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't worry. It's perfectly natural and great that the two of you can talk about it. Communication and trust is key. X

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