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Ramblings of a screwed up mind "Manners and Respect"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Now this is not aimed at everyone but those that seemed to forget that it may be a swingers site but manners and respect gets you a long way.

Every day we see statuses going up mainly by single me going "this site is crap no one wants to meet." Or " why does know one answers my messages"

Then we get a message from them simply saying something along the lines of "i will fuck your slut" etc. Now I know some people like name calling, i have done it in play myself but it was discussed and agreed by both parties before play and boundries set.

Or they feel that they should have a "no" justified when you say no thanks not interested.

I have to wonder if they would do this to a random stranger in a pub.

When we first came on here, we would send a nice message suggesting they would get better responses if they were polite and respectful in their messages. This was normally received by a message along the lines of " fuck you i would not fuck your wife anyway"

Now we just block them. For me when did people decide that just because we swing then they are entitled to be rude and lack manners in their messages or that a "no" is no longer an acceptable answer to them.

Also with couples that delete messages unanswered then message the singles profile of one of us asking to meet.

We play seperate and we have no issue with couples we contact saying they dont fancy one of us but can we message the others single profile to chat. To me this is simply good manners.

We would be silly to think that every couple will fancy both of us but that does not mean we will chat to them seperately if they have not shown respect to both of us when first contact has been the couples profile.

If people can not show manners and respect when simply messaging we are unlikely to want to play because we would question your ability to stick to boundries. If you can not accept a no in a message how on earth would we trust you to accept a no in real life.

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By *llNatural36FWoman
over a year ago

Denbighshire

As a single woman this is why I like to get to know somebody then do the social in a public place. If the respect and manners aren't there from the start then the awful why not, it leads me to think would they accept no if we had got further?

Just my thoughts on it

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By *estmidscoupleCouple
over a year ago

West Midlands

We feel these people self-filter. They behave so badly you wouldn’t possibly meet them. Used to get upset and aggrieved by the “didn’t want to fuck her anyway” type messages but water off a duck’S back these days. Good post though OP

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By *orkie321bWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

I had a message today from a "lady" which consisted of only 2 words. It was the kind of thing I normally associate with the less appealing men on fab.

This combined with the one sentence profile, 2 very close up genital pictures and no verifications despite being on the site for over a year led to a swift block.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We rarely get rude or demanding messages . Not sure if that's down to our age, filters or general demeanour .

Op if you receive abuse in a message report it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"We rarely get rude or demanding messages . Not sure if that's down to our age, filters or general demeanour .

Op if you receive abuse in a message report it."

We do block and report.

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By *abrielle247Couple (FF)
over a year ago

PDI Gran Canaria

You beat me to it, I was thinking exactly the same thing.

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

The answer is that there are plenty of people on here who couldn't get laid in real life and think that somehow they might here because we are all "easy".

It doesn't bother me - the dickheads help everyone else to stand out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Now this is not aimed at everyone but those that seemed to forget that it may be a swingers site but manners and respect gets you a long way.

Every day we see statuses going up mainly by single me going "this site is crap no one wants to meet." Or " why does know one answers my messages"

Then we get a message from them simply saying something along the lines of "i will fuck your slut" etc. Now I know some people like name calling, i have done it in play myself but it was discussed and agreed by both parties before play and boundries set.

Or they feel that they should have a "no" justified when you say no thanks not interested.

I have to wonder if they would do this to a random stranger in a pub.

When we first came on here, we would send a nice message suggesting they would get better responses if they were polite and respectful in their messages. This was normally received by a message along the lines of " fuck you i would not fuck your wife anyway"

Now we just block them. For me when did people decide that just because we swing then they are entitled to be rude and lack manners in their messages or that a "no" is no longer an acceptable answer to them.

Also with couples that delete messages unanswered then message the singles profile of one of us asking to meet.

We play seperate and we have no issue with couples we contact saying they dont fancy one of us but can we message the others single profile to chat. To me this is simply good manners.

We would be silly to think that every couple will fancy both of us but that does not mean we will chat to them seperately if they have not shown respect to both of us when first contact has been the couples profile.

If people can not show manners and respect when simply messaging we are unlikely to want to play because we would question your ability to stick to boundries. If you can not accept a no in a message how on earth would we trust you to accept a no in real life.

"

In my experience here no matter how respectful I was to couples they still spoke to me like dirt. I guess some guys have experienced this and as a result are defensive from the start

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford


"Now this is not aimed at everyone but those that seemed to forget that it may be a swingers site but manners and respect gets you a long way.

Every day we see statuses going up mainly by single me going "this site is crap no one wants to meet." Or " why does know one answers my messages"

Then we get a message from them simply saying something along the lines of "i will fuck your slut" etc. Now I know some people like name calling, i have done it in play myself but it was discussed and agreed by both parties before play and boundries set.

Or they feel that they should have a "no" justified when you say no thanks not interested.

I have to wonder if they would do this to a random stranger in a pub.

When we first came on here, we would send a nice message suggesting they would get better responses if they were polite and respectful in their messages. This was normally received by a message along the lines of " fuck you i would not fuck your wife anyway"

Now we just block them. For me when did people decide that just because we swing then they are entitled to be rude and lack manners in their messages or that a "no" is no longer an acceptable answer to them.

Also with couples that delete messages unanswered then message the singles profile of one of us asking to meet.

We play seperate and we have no issue with couples we contact saying they dont fancy one of us but can we message the others single profile to chat. To me this is simply good manners.

We would be silly to think that every couple will fancy both of us but that does not mean we will chat to them seperately if they have not shown respect to both of us when first contact has been the couples profile.

If people can not show manners and respect when simply messaging we are unlikely to want to play because we would question your ability to stick to boundries. If you can not accept a no in a message how on earth would we trust you to accept a no in real life.

In my experience here no matter how respectful I was to couples they still spoke to me like dirt. I guess some guys have experienced this and as a result are defensive from the start"

I don't speak to couples these days - Don't get bitter, it isn't attractive, just ignore the idiots and be yourself.

Also; I'm not so desperate that I need to chase being twos up on someone elses missus.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Now this is not aimed at everyone but those that seemed to forget that it may be a swingers site but manners and respect gets you a long way.

Every day we see statuses going up mainly by single me going "this site is crap no one wants to meet." Or " why does know one answers my messages"

Then we get a message from them simply saying something along the lines of "i will fuck your slut" etc. Now I know some people like name calling, i have done it in play myself but it was discussed and agreed by both parties before play and boundries set.

Or they feel that they should have a "no" justified when you say no thanks not interested.

I have to wonder if they would do this to a random stranger in a pub.

When we first came on here, we would send a nice message suggesting they would get better responses if they were polite and respectful in their messages. This was normally received by a message along the lines of " fuck you i would not fuck your wife anyway"

Now we just block them. For me when did people decide that just because we swing then they are entitled to be rude and lack manners in their messages or that a "no" is no longer an acceptable answer to them.

Also with couples that delete messages unanswered then message the singles profile of one of us asking to meet.

We play seperate and we have no issue with couples we contact saying they dont fancy one of us but can we message the others single profile to chat. To me this is simply good manners.

We would be silly to think that every couple will fancy both of us but that does not mean we will chat to them seperately if they have not shown respect to both of us when first contact has been the couples profile.

If people can not show manners and respect when simply messaging we are unlikely to want to play because we would question your ability to stick to boundries. If you can not accept a no in a message how on earth would we trust you to accept a no in real life.

In my experience here no matter how respectful I was to couples they still spoke to me like dirt. I guess some guys have experienced this and as a result are defensive from the start

I don't speak to couples these days - Don't get bitter, it isn't attractive, just ignore the idiots and be yourself.

Also; I'm not so desperate that I need to chase being twos up on someone elses missus. "

Its not desperation just because someone may want to play with a couple. And how your message is worded it sounds like you are bitter.

Not all couples are rude and on the flip side not all single men are. A single man that messages us in a respectful manner will get a response. Those that dont get deleted

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford


"Now this is not aimed at everyone but those that seemed to forget that it may be a swingers site but manners and respect gets you a long way.

Every day we see statuses going up mainly by single me going "this site is crap no one wants to meet." Or " why does know one answers my messages"

Then we get a message from them simply saying something along the lines of "i will fuck your slut" etc. Now I know some people like name calling, i have done it in play myself but it was discussed and agreed by both parties before play and boundries set.

Or they feel that they should have a "no" justified when you say no thanks not interested.

I have to wonder if they would do this to a random stranger in a pub.

When we first came on here, we would send a nice message suggesting they would get better responses if they were polite and respectful in their messages. This was normally received by a message along the lines of " fuck you i would not fuck your wife anyway"

Now we just block them. For me when did people decide that just because we swing then they are entitled to be rude and lack manners in their messages or that a "no" is no longer an acceptable answer to them.

Also with couples that delete messages unanswered then message the singles profile of one of us asking to meet.

We play seperate and we have no issue with couples we contact saying they dont fancy one of us but can we message the others single profile to chat. To me this is simply good manners.

We would be silly to think that every couple will fancy both of us but that does not mean we will chat to them seperately if they have not shown respect to both of us when first contact has been the couples profile.

If people can not show manners and respect when simply messaging we are unlikely to want to play because we would question your ability to stick to boundries. If you can not accept a no in a message how on earth would we trust you to accept a no in real life.

In my experience here no matter how respectful I was to couples they still spoke to me like dirt. I guess some guys have experienced this and as a result are defensive from the start

I don't speak to couples these days - Don't get bitter, it isn't attractive, just ignore the idiots and be yourself.

Also; I'm not so desperate that I need to chase being twos up on someone elses missus.

Its not desperation just because someone may want to play with a couple. And how your message is worded it sounds like you are bitter.

Not all couples are rude and on the flip side not all single men are. A single man that messages us in a respectful manner will get a response. Those that dont get deleted "

It's not bitterness - I don't really do couples anymore but if I did, since I would be little more than a stunt penis in their love life, I would expect them to approach me.

For that dynamic to work (and I have had occasional fun with couples), since it is very superficial (as opposed to emotional) sex, I would also expect them to be physically fit and clearly work out regularly.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Now this is not aimed at everyone but those that seemed to forget that it may be a swingers site but manners and respect gets you a long way.

Every day we see statuses going up mainly by single me going "this site is crap no one wants to meet." Or " why does know one answers my messages"

Then we get a message from them simply saying something along the lines of "i will fuck your slut" etc. Now I know some people like name calling, i have done it in play myself but it was discussed and agreed by both parties before play and boundries set.

Or they feel that they should have a "no" justified when you say no thanks not interested.

I have to wonder if they would do this to a random stranger in a pub.

When we first came on here, we would send a nice message suggesting they would get better responses if they were polite and respectful in their messages. This was normally received by a message along the lines of " fuck you i would not fuck your wife anyway"

Now we just block them. For me when did people decide that just because we swing then they are entitled to be rude and lack manners in their messages or that a "no" is no longer an acceptable answer to them.

Also with couples that delete messages unanswered then message the singles profile of one of us asking to meet.

We play seperate and we have no issue with couples we contact saying they dont fancy one of us but can we message the others single profile to chat. To me this is simply good manners.

We would be silly to think that every couple will fancy both of us but that does not mean we will chat to them seperately if they have not shown respect to both of us when first contact has been the couples profile.

If people can not show manners and respect when simply messaging we are unlikely to want to play because we would question your ability to stick to boundries. If you can not accept a no in a message how on earth would we trust you to accept a no in real life.

In my experience here no matter how respectful I was to couples they still spoke to me like dirt. I guess some guys have experienced this and as a result are defensive from the start

I don't speak to couples these days - Don't get bitter, it isn't attractive, just ignore the idiots and be yourself.

Also; I'm not so desperate that I need to chase being twos up on someone elses missus.

Its not desperation just because someone may want to play with a couple. And how your message is worded it sounds like you are bitter.

Not all couples are rude and on the flip side not all single men are. A single man that messages us in a respectful manner will get a response. Those that dont get deleted

It's not bitterness - I don't really do couples anymore but if I did, since I would be little more than a stunt penis in their love life, I would expect them to approach me.

For that dynamic to work (and I have had occasional fun with couples), since it is very superficial (as opposed to emotional) sex, I would also expect them to be physically fit and clearly work out regularly. "

Is not most swinging based on physical sex more than emotional sex.

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford


"Now this is not aimed at everyone but those that seemed to forget that it may be a swingers site but manners and respect gets you a long way.

Every day we see statuses going up mainly by single me going "this site is crap no one wants to meet." Or " why does know one answers my messages"

Then we get a message from them simply saying something along the lines of "i will fuck your slut" etc. Now I know some people like name calling, i have done it in play myself but it was discussed and agreed by both parties before play and boundries set.

Or they feel that they should have a "no" justified when you say no thanks not interested.

I have to wonder if they would do this to a random stranger in a pub.

When we first came on here, we would send a nice message suggesting they would get better responses if they were polite and respectful in their messages. This was normally received by a message along the lines of " fuck you i would not fuck your wife anyway"

Now we just block them. For me when did people decide that just because we swing then they are entitled to be rude and lack manners in their messages or that a "no" is no longer an acceptable answer to them.

Also with couples that delete messages unanswered then message the singles profile of one of us asking to meet.

We play seperate and we have no issue with couples we contact saying they dont fancy one of us but can we message the others single profile to chat. To me this is simply good manners.

We would be silly to think that every couple will fancy both of us but that does not mean we will chat to them seperately if they have not shown respect to both of us when first contact has been the couples profile.

If people can not show manners and respect when simply messaging we are unlikely to want to play because we would question your ability to stick to boundries. If you can not accept a no in a message how on earth would we trust you to accept a no in real life.

In my experience here no matter how respectful I was to couples they still spoke to me like dirt. I guess some guys have experienced this and as a result are defensive from the start

I don't speak to couples these days - Don't get bitter, it isn't attractive, just ignore the idiots and be yourself.

Also; I'm not so desperate that I need to chase being twos up on someone elses missus.

Its not desperation just because someone may want to play with a couple. And how your message is worded it sounds like you are bitter.

Not all couples are rude and on the flip side not all single men are. A single man that messages us in a respectful manner will get a response. Those that dont get deleted

It's not bitterness - I don't really do couples anymore but if I did, since I would be little more than a stunt penis in their love life, I would expect them to approach me.

For that dynamic to work (and I have had occasional fun with couples), since it is very superficial (as opposed to emotional) sex, I would also expect them to be physically fit and clearly work out regularly.

Is not most swinging based on physical sex more than emotional sex. "

Possibly - but there's more of emotional connection in one on one anything, let alone sex.

If I'm having one on one sex with a woman, I have to like her, and I find one to one attractiveness is more about personality than looks.

Threesomes are nearly all about physical attractiveness as it is purely a visual experience.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Manners and respect cost nothing

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford


"Manners and respect cost nothing"

True, but I find that couples on here generally show the least of either and also have the biggest sense of entitlement.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Manners and respect cost nothing

True, but I find that couples on here generally show the least of either and also have the biggest sense of entitlement. "

I think couples will see it other ways. I think there are men women and coupls on here that dont understand manners and respect

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a good friend and she showed me some of the messages from single guys and to put it mildly they are vile.Why cant some guys take a no instead of getting all nasty and treat ladies with respect no need to get all huffy and name calling

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford


"I have a good friend and she showed me some of the messages from single guys and to put it mildly they are vile.Why cant some guys take a no instead of getting all nasty and treat ladies with respect no need to get all huffy and name calling"

It's a sex site, so naturally it attracts people who can't get laid in real life, who then come here and assume it's a sexual free for all.

Since they have no social skills, they then throw their toys out of the pram when they get rejected.

"Pulling in real life" is a good rule of thumb - if you can't do that either as a single or as the individual components of a couple - ie, you can be in a public place, talk to people, get their interest and make enough effort with your appearance to go home with someone, you probably won't do well here.

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By *earboynottinghamMan
over a year ago

Nottingham


"Manners and respect cost nothing

True, but I find that couples on here generally show the least of either and also have the biggest sense of entitlement. "

Quite true.

Basically unless you can meet in about 2 minutes, be nothing but a vessel for them to use and give them gifts most aren’t interested.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Manners and respect cost nothing

True, but I find that couples on here generally show the least of either and also have the biggest sense of entitlement.

Quite true.

Basically unless you can meet in about 2 minutes, be nothing but a vessel for them to use and give them gifts most aren’t interested.

"

I am sorry you have had them experience but as i said there are going to be couples and singles that have no manners. But that does not mean all dont. Its the same with single people

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By *earboynottinghamMan
over a year ago

Nottingham


"Manners and respect cost nothing

True, but I find that couples on here generally show the least of either and also have the biggest sense of entitlement.

Quite true.

Basically unless you can meet in about 2 minutes, be nothing but a vessel for them to use and give them gifts most aren’t interested.

I am sorry you have had them experience but as i said there are going to be couples and singles that have no manners. But that does not mean all dont. Its the same with single people"

Yea you’re right, just relaying my experience!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm still baffled to why we never get abusive messages and when we say no to meets we don't get "ah we wouldn't fuck you anyway"

Not once the whole time we have been here. Any ideas OP? X

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By *lceeWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I don’t tend to get many rude or disrespectful messages (probably because I only reply to any messages that are from those I’m interested in, or super sweet guys). However, on the odd occasion I’ve let manners trump experience and answered a message I’m not interested in, saying ‘I’m sorry but I don’t think we would work together, hope you’re having an awesome time on the site!’, it’s invariably ended in abuse.

I think there’s a lot of people on here trying to cover yawning insecurities with bravado.

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By *ANDA2Couple
over a year ago

Henley Arden


"I'm still baffled to why we never get abusive messages and when we say no to meets we don't get "ah we wouldn't fuck you anyway"

Not once the whole time we have been here. Any ideas OP? X"

Purely luck I’d say.

We have had a few abusive messages and replies but now only the odd one now and then since we tightened up our filters.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Manners and respect cost nothing

True, but I find that couples on here generally show the least of either and also have the biggest sense of entitlement.

I think couples will see it other ways. I think there are men women and coupls on here that dont understand manners and respect"

the fact is no here seem to have manners and respect because i was raised abroad as a child and told to be respectful and well mannered in life as it the real key to friendship more.

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By *ANDA2Couple
over a year ago

Henley Arden


"Manners and respect cost nothing

True, but I find that couples on here generally show the least of either and also have the biggest sense of entitlement.

I think couples will see it other ways. I think there are men women and coupls on here that dont understand manners and respect

the fact is no here seem to have manners and respect because i was raised abroad as a child and told to be respectful and well mannered in life as it the real key to friendship more. "

No one is pretty much saying everyone which is wrong.

Life on Fab here with just a few minor differences

Reflects life in general. There are nice people, very nice people, rude people and down right awful people. That’s in singles males, females and couples.

95% of couples and singles we meet ( not necessarily play with ) are super nice people

However just like life most people are nice otherwise Fab wouldn’t work.

Nobody is going to start a forum post with

‘ I just met a nice average polite couple/single’ because there’s no news value. The ‘ I met a complete shit bag’ gets more attention.

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