FabSwingers.com forum: Help me fabbers, you're my only hope

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi guys and gals.

So I've been on here for over 3 months and had absolutely nada.

I've got face pictures up, a simple but honest profile and yet I've received zero messages and Ive never had a reply, mostly they're just read then deleted and in some cases I've been blocked which is odd as I never send more than 1 message if I dont get a reply so not sure what that's about?

I've read advice posts on here but I'm still not sure where I'm going wrong. The only thing I haven't tried is going to a event, but I'm not sure that's my thing.

Any advice would be appreciated

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Your profile and photos (with one exception) look fine to me. It could just be a case of being patient.

Could you steel yourself and go to an organised social? They're great for networking.

That one picture of your face peering above a woman's genitals might not appeal to the women you're contacting.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Haha thank you for replying. I did think that about that photo, however every "successful" guys profile seems to have a photo of them in the act, so added that recently. But it's not really my style and I agree with you, so ill remove it anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If say u messaged me I'd looked at your profile which says non smoker and then looked at ur pics and saw you had a cigarette in your mouth I'd delete on the premise that your a smoker so that could be a hurdle for you to

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By *lackbird1000Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"If say u messaged me I'd looked at your profile which says non smoker and then looked at ur pics and saw you had a cigarette in your mouth I'd delete on the premise that your a smoker so that could be a hurdle for you to "

Is not a cigarette babe , is a Cuban cigar looks like he was in a wedding . Sometimes they gift them. I am a non smoker and never smoked but took a photo for fun . But I totally agree with your comment .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Blackbird is right, its a cigar from my friends wedding. Thanks for the suggestion cockaddict...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

On a side note - I often forget to add a face picture when sending a 1st message because I have multiple on my profile. Is it safe to say that most girls don't check profiles because they get bombarded with so many messages??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"On a side note - I often forget to add a face picture when sending a 1st message because I have multiple on my profile. Is it safe to say that most girls don't check profiles because they get bombarded with so many messages?? "

Actually I would always check a profile before sending a reply.

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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago

Wherever the party is!

"... however every "successful" guys profile seems to have a photo of them in the act... "

Causation is not correlation...

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By *harliebluestockingsCouple
over a year ago

london

Actually I would always check a profile before sending a reply. "

We always read profile and scan pics. But content of first message dictates if we go that far.

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

I actually like your profile text. I would like to see one pic of you smiling...you do have teeth, don't you?

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

If the message is crude, automatic delete.

But a polite, well written message, I'll have a nosey at the profile, abd always reply even if to say no thanks.

Your profile BTW.. Looks good to me

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

Your profile looks really good to me.

I know you say you are not sure if you are the event type, but it really does massive amount of good imho. You make new friends,

experience the lifestyle in person, instead of over a keyboard, and even if it is only social, it is quite liberating and sexy even just to be there and see the clubs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most women I know check profiles before even opening messages...that's women, not girls...and mostly the pictures

Plus is thst you have face pictures openly on your profile...You're not bad looking but look massively grumpy in all your pictures. The cigar picture would rule you out for me, and your name isn't appealing...you'd be an instant delete for that alone...

profile text isn't bad but I probably normally wouldn't get as far as reading it...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"... however every "successful" guys profile seems to have a photo of them in the act...

Causation is not correlation...

Hahaha touche

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Wow thank you so much for all the replies.

Its really interesting because today i sent a message, the lady looked at my profile but not my message which is a first (that I know of)

Its true my pictures a grumpy. Not a fan of my picture being taken, thus the cigar picture flipping the bird, and not a fan of selfies thus the non smiling. However I do indeed have all my own teeth

I do totally understand if my pictures are a instant no for some - That's life and cant please all, but you're right in that I should at least try a bit more on the smile front.

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

"Wow thank you so much for all the replies.

Its really interesting because today i sent a message, the lady looked at my profile but not my message which is a first (that I know of)

Its true my pictures a grumpy. Not a fan of my picture being taken, thus the cigar picture flipping the bird, and not a fan of selfies thus the non smiling. However I do indeed have all my own teeth

I do totally understand if my pictures are a instant no for some - That's life and cant please all, but you're right in that I should at least try a bit more on the smile front. "

I like your pics, but most people look even better with a beautiful smile on their face! I'm glad you've got all your teeth...give us a flash!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like your profile and pics. Last pic shows a arrogant side to you with your middle finger up. Doesn’t bother me but might put others off.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

No messages or replies? Really??

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If the message is crude, automatic delete"

Yeah my messages are always polite and innocent, bordering on boring without saying "Hey how are you" which I know is the worst. I try and pick up on something they have wrote or if there isn't anything, try and comment on a photo that I like and maybe try and start a conversation. But still never had a reply.

Its bizzar because I might be new to swinging but not to sex and casual dating, I've been on various dating sites over the years and have never had a problem getting conversation, dating or finding relationships etc. I'm almost a old pro at it where my friends regularly come to me for advice on dating so I know the do's and dont's - But I'm seriously getting my arse kicked on this site. Its definitely a different dynamic because I guess all intentions are on the table.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No messages or replies? Really??

My thoughts exactly unless he’s not targeting the right people xx

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

Its true my pictures a grumpy. Not a fan of my picture being taken, thus the cigar picture flipping the bird, and not a fan of selfies thus the non smiling. However I do indeed have all my own teeth

. "

I really like that one!

I actually hate my photo being taken, for every pic I have on here, I must have 20 others with my finger up!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not sure. Your pics are good, your profile looks fine. I'm actually surprised if you're genuinely getting no replies back.

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

"If the message is crude, automatic delete

I'm surprised you don't get many replies, but yes, it is definitely a different dynamic on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends who you're trying to attract but action pics are a complete turn-off to me

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By *easers4uCouple
over a year ago

liverpool

I like your profile, sexy sultry photos definately do it for me and to me the fact that you don't have dick pics sprawled everywhere is also a plus.

So er yeah not sure where your going wrong! Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get yourself along to a few socials. Let people see how genuine you are

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

So OP, looks like you've got some positive responses on here.....have you got a car?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Not sure. Your pics are good, your profile looks fine. I'm actually surprised if you're genuinely getting no replies back. "

I think I had about 30 messages in my first week...

... All from guys..

This was before I knew you could change that setting haha. But at least I knew it works.

In total, I've had one message from a girl who was nice but wasn't my type.

And then I did get one reply which actually lead to a nice chat over coffee. All in my first week. So it started positively, but litterally nothing in a few months now.

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

"Not sure. Your pics are good, your profile looks fine. I'm actually surprised if you're genuinely getting no replies back.

I think I had about 30 messages in my first week...

... All from guys..

This was before I knew you could change that setting haha. But at least I knew it works.

In total, I've had one message from a girl who was nice but wasn't my type.

And then I did get one reply which actually lead to a nice chat over coffee. All in my first week. So it started positively, but litterally nothing in a few months now. "

Tut...I can see your problem...you're too choosy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not sure. Your pics are good, your profile looks fine. I'm actually surprised if you're genuinely getting no replies back.

I think I had about 30 messages in my first week...

... All from guys..

This was before I knew you could change that setting haha. But at least I knew it works.

In total, I've had one message from a girl who was nice but wasn't my type.

And then I did get one reply which actually lead to a nice chat over coffee. All in my first week. So it started positively, but litterally nothing in a few months now. "

What happened after coffee?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just relax and it will happen and don't get like I used to and think a person not replying is personal its not

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I like your profile, sexy sultry photos definately do it for me and to me the fact that you don't have dick pics sprawled everywhere is also a plus.

So er yeah not sure where your going wrong! Xx "

Thank you! And yeah, no gratuitous dick pics here. A dick is a dick. Still makes me chuckle when I see a guys profile with 10 photos of his rod all from slightly different angles... Hahaha.

Saying that, I laugh, but he'll have 10 veries from beautiful women tho :/

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Nice look guy, but please smile OP. Also nice to see you are responding to people on your thread x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just relax and it will happen and don't get like I used to and think a person not replying is personal its not "

Very true

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Tut...I can see your problem...you're too choosy!

Haha I am very picky, I cant help it. But hey, I'm a guy who knows what he wants at least

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

"Tut...I can see your problem...you're too choosy!

Haha I am very picky, I cant help it. But hey, I'm a guy who knows what he wants at least

That's a good thing

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By *retend_Shy_GuyMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Hi OP

My fab life only really started when I went to clubs. No. It exploded when I started with the clubs! First point is networking, you meet so many people socially and when you see them a few times in the clubs then that builds friendship.

Second is veris. The club itself will verify you, along with lots of people you meet.

3rd, I got my happy pictures done in the clubs, by the amazing staff who have done quite a few profile pics for people, they know what looks good.

4th is the view. You might not play the first time but by god I promise you will enjoy the view and the experience.

It's daunting taking that first step but I promise it is so much worth it. It created my current life which I love! Really brought me out.

Good luck OP!

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

"Hi OP

Second is veris. The club itself will verify you, along with lots of people you meet.

3rd, I got my happy pictures done in the clubs, by the amazing staff who have done quite a few profile pics for people, they know what looks good.

4th is the view. You might not play the first time but by god I promise you will enjoy the view and the experience.

It's daunting taking that first step but I promise it is so much worth it. It created my current life which I love! Really brought me out.

Good luck OP!"

And a nice smiley picture

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Get yourself along to a few socials. Let people see how genuine you are "

Yeah you're right. A few people have suggested this and its a popular response on similar threads. It makes perfect sense, so I will definitely consider it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hi OP

Second is veris. The club itself will verify you, along with lots of people you meet.

3rd, I got my happy pictures done in the clubs, by the amazing staff who have done quite a few profile pics for people, they know what looks good.

4th is the view. You might not play the first time but by god I promise you will enjoy the view and the experience.

It's daunting taking that first step but I promise it is so much worth it. It created my current life which I love! Really brought me out.

Good luck OP!"

Really sound advice. You've hit the nail on the head with all those points.

Not sure which worries me most; actually going for the first time or secretly that ill love it and it will change everything hahaha

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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago

Wherever the party is!

"...

Wow! I was in exactly the same situation as you. I've also dabbled in the PUA community and that info definitely helps.

Top tip: My swinging experiences went into orbit once I hit the clubs. I'm sure yours will too...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like your profile and pics. Last pic shows a arrogant side to you with your middle finger up. Doesn’t bother me but might put others off. "

The last pic is the best one for me

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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago

Wherever the party is!

"Hi OP

Second is veris. The club itself will verify you, along with lots of people you meet.

3rd, I got my happy pictures done in the clubs, by the amazing staff who have done quite a few profile pics for people, they know what looks good.

4th is the view. You might not play the first time but by god I promise you will enjoy the view and the experience.

It's daunting taking that first step but I promise it is so much worth it. It created my current life which I love! Really brought me out.

Good luck OP!"

Oops! Great minds think alike!

OP: If you're interested, I can give you details on where to go and more importantly, WHEN.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Massive thank you to everyone who replied. Had some awesome comments and Its really helped.

Sorry if I didn't reply to all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Massive thank you to everyone who replied. Had some awesome comments and Its really helped.

Sorry if I didn't reply to all.

You didn’t reply to mine about what happened after the coffee social

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/support/720982

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

"Hi OP

Second is veris. The club itself will verify you, along with lots of people you meet.

3rd, I got my happy pictures done in the clubs, by the amazing staff who have done quite a few profile pics for people, they know what looks good.

4th is the view. You might not play the first time but by god I promise you will enjoy the view and the experience.

It's daunting taking that first step but I promise it is so much worth it. It created my current life which I love! Really brought me out.

Good luck OP!"

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By *orticiaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

I’d echo all of the above OP ... I’d most definitely reply & would be happy to chat with you in a club! Can’t see how you could change it up really.

Good luck

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By *idlands MingleCouple (FF)
over a year ago

Athlone

Move to Eire -

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Similar to what others have suggested but a few things:

You’re described as “non-smoker” but are pictured with a cigar in one photo. Smart king may put some people off, especially cigars (I personally LOVE to see ladies smoke cigars). But the real issue is saying one thing and doing another may cause others to question the accuracy of the rest of your profile.

Your user name and (in that photo again) hand gesture will alienate some prospective suitors.

Beards... some girls will and some won’t, so you’ve just got to accept that. I know, I’m bald so shave my head. A plus for some ladies and an instant no for others. We all have a type, it is what it is.

Try a few small refinements and, most of all, be patient.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Massive thank you to everyone who replied. Had some awesome comments and Its really helped.

Sorry if I didn't reply to all.

You didn’t reply to mine about what happened after the coffee social "

Tut, I honestly thought I did sorry, not sure if they're all going on.

It was just a nice coffee and chat for me to get advice, exchange funny stories and to learn the etiquette about all this as I was surprisingly naive (still am) I never knew how big a community it is. Feel like I've missed the party haha

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

"Massive thank you to everyone who replied. Had some awesome comments and Its really helped.

Sorry if I didn't reply to all.

You didn’t reply to mine about what happened after the coffee social

Tut, I honestly thought I did sorry, not sure if they're all going on.

Hey, you're at the party now!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Similar to what others have suggested but a few things:

Your user name and (in that photo again) hand gesture will alienate some prospective suitors.

Try a few small refinements and, most of all, be patient. "

Yeah the cigar was mentioned before. I'm not actually a smoker, although it doesn't bother me either way personally. It was a friends wedding, a celebration etc. But tbh, ill keep that photo up as I won't be bothered if someone doesn't like me for that reason.

The name is a tricky one, I see your point tho.

Agree on beards too. Its personal taste - Although I recently shaved it off sadly.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hey, you're at the party now!

Wayooooo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Massive thank you to everyone who replied. Had some awesome comments and Its really helped.

Sorry if I didn't reply to all.

You didn’t reply to mine about what happened after the coffee social

Tut, I honestly thought I did sorry, not sure if they're all going on.

Well this post has been successful I’m sure you’ll have no problem now. Just be yourself.

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By *otSoNewWalesCoupleCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

I'd say the profile is well above average.

The pics are good. Perhaps overdoing the 'mean and moody' thing. Just one happy laughing pic would add balance.

The flipping the bird pic is fun as opposed to offensive.

Too young for us, but if you were a few years older we'd probably check you out.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

" Well this post has been successful I’m sure you’ll have no problem now. Just be yourself. "

It sure has. So pleasantly surprised.

And hey I've received a few inbox messages too, so at least I know for sure it's not broken and all this time Its just been me...

...wait.. What..

Haha kidding

Thanks again to everyone. I need a rest after all this.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

If you were local I'd be checking you out lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Looks pretty good to me. I'd take out the line about photos (play that easy ...) and add a photo with a smile (you look a bit serious and severe!).

It's not just about messages ... get involved in the forum's, play the odd forum game, add fabs to pictures, be visible in the chatroom ... and that's without going to a club.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If the message is crude, automatic delete

To be quite honest on reading your profile, I would interpret what you are looking for is more like casual dating as opposed to swinging. As you are only looking for women and not couples, you are substantially reducing your opportunities on Fab as there are relatively few single women compared to other demographics, and also single women are the most sought after demographic. A lot of men say they find it easier to get one-to-one sex with women from casual dating sites. With regards to your pictures, if I was in your target market, I would be put off by the ones where your beard is particularly bushy (but that’s my personal taste) and I can’t bare it when people stick their finger up for the camera, so that would me off too. Otherwise, you’re a very good looking guy and your profile reads well.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Looks pretty good to me. I'd take out the line about photos (play that easy ...) and add a photo with a smile (you look a bit serious and severe!).

It's not just about messages ... get involved in the forum's, play the odd forum game, add fabs to pictures, be visible in the chatroom ... and that's without going to a club."

Ah yes, you've read my mind. I've been 'umming and ahhing' about the photos bit. Never felt right, so yeah its gone. Just felt a bit rich with 95% of women's profiles demanding face pics from guys when they don't have any themselves or are blurred. But you're right, play easy. Good call.

Forums is a good one too. I've had more views today than I have in the 3 months I've been here. Plus I've enjoyed the chat.

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By *estinysswingersCouple
over a year ago

Worsley

Go on, I’m curious, what IS your type of lady?

Mrs x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Mrs"

I agree with you here. I'm not 100% off the idea of couples, maybe just that I'm not ready for it and in time maybe. I've had mff and mmf before but I knew everyone well.

Also the problem is that on those apps like Tinder I don't want to be labled a simple fuckboy. Most girls there are not looking for fb's or hookups. I mean it does and can happen say after a bit of dating, you're both not relationship suitable but champions in the sack. Its just, and without trying to be crude, a bit of a longer game and potential risk of hurting someone who was after something more. So I thought this might cut out the middle man so to speak. Make sense? Dunno, maybe I am being a dick.

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

[Removed by poster at 23/01/18 18:58:03]

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

Op. Like the guitar pic, who is the other guy in your pic?

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

Oh and you do have good teeth, nice smile!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mrs

I agree with you here. I'm not 100% off the idea of couples, maybe just that I'm not ready for it and in time maybe. I've had mff and mmf before but I knew everyone well.

Not at all. I think if it’s a FWB you are after then you are lucky because that’s where dating and swinging sites overlap, so I would keep your option open with both. The disadvantage of swing site is that there are much fewer women, but the disadvantage of dating sites is that a man will have to sift through women who want a bit more in order to find the ones that are also looking for nsa. Probably boils down to the same amount of women though - nsa is always something men are more likely to want.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d reply if you were in my area x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Mrs"

True true true

You ladies hold all the power.

If only I was a woman... Or gay..

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth

"Also the problem is that on those apps like Tinder I don't want to be labled a simple fuckboy. Most girls there are not looking for fb's or hookups. I mean it does and can happen say after a bit of dating, you're both not relationship suitable but champions in the sack. Its just, and without trying to be crude, a bit of a longer game and potential risk of hurting someone who was after something more. So I thought this might cut out the middle man so to speak. Make sense? Dunno, maybe I am being a dick."

Totally makes sense and you're not being a dick - I'm here for the same reasons, definitely don't want a relationship but don't want to risk hurting someone who thought there was a chance of more. It's all up front here, no commitment, no ties - enjoy the company then part till next time (perhaps).

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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago

Hull

I think it’s a great profile and I love the pic with the cigar and flipping the bird. I’m sure you’ll have no problems on here.

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By *s_bettyboopWoman
over a year ago

-3

Nice profile and pics, you seem to come across well chatting in the forum. I think you will do well if you went to a organised social or club. Good luck

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By *rMrs CumalotCouple
over a year ago

East Mids

I have not read the whole threat but the best thing to do! Is go to socials and communicate with people. Attend clubs without the thought of playing and talk to people.... you will be amazed how much that works

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Update - still no meets, still get zero views, only when I message someone, still rarely ever get replies and when I do, I might get two or three messages before they've moved on haha. It really is difficult as a single guy on here.. Clubs are not my thing and have heard plenty of stories of single guys at clubs being described as the walking horny or horny zombies. Not gunna be that guy..

Still.. The forums are a laugh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you're attractive.. I'd meet you if you were east mids

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Update - still no meets, still get zero views, only when I message someone, still rarely ever get replies and when I do, I might get two or three messages before they've moved on haha. It really is difficult as a single guy on here.. Clubs are not my thing and have heard plenty of stories of single guys at clubs being described as the walking horny or horny zombies. Not gunna be that guy..

Still.. The forums are a laugh. "

Such a shame. We aren’t looking for single guys but your pics and profile look great. Maybe it’s just the ratios.

Hope you get somewhere!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You’re a tiny fish in the ocean pal , but am sure you’ll get hooked at some point in the fuuuuuutrrrrre

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh and don’t forget most look incognito. MrH rules our account and I think we’re incognito at the mo. You might be getting more looks than you think!

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By *ittlemisssassypantsCouple
over a year ago

South East Wales

Still.. The forums are a laugh. "

Maybe that’ll be a good thing though, not being the ‘horny zombie guy’? Could be worth a try?

It is difficult for a single guy, as the ratios of women vs couples vs men are against you, but it sounds like you’re doing it all right and you seem like a nice bloke.

You’ll get there, it’ll happen when you least expect it!

Sassy

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By *retend_Shy_GuyMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

If clubs aren't your scene due to being the 'walking horny' as you put it,

Why not check the forum's for local socials. They are still fairly new to myself but have all the same social credit as clubs just without the expectation to play. They are very much organised as drink and chat meets only.

Obviously, if something happens (the same as any other pub) then so be it.

Definitely worth a look.

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By *orticiaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"If clubs aren't your scene due to being the 'walking horny' as you put it,

Obviously, if something happens (the same as any other pub) then so be it.

Definitely worth a look."

I agree - socials are a good place to start - usually in pubs & it’s just a pleasant atmosphere & often a chance to arrange a meet too!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"... however every "successful" guys profile seems to have a photo of them in the act...

Causation is not correlation...

Yes! I hate action pics! If a guy is truly successful and classy he shouldn't need to rub your nose in it.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Still.. The forums are a laugh. "

You’ve got the tick that says you’ve been verified at least. Also I’d like to see the pic with your face peering over the ladies bits. Apart from that little bit of neglect, your profile looks fine to me. An organised social as others have suggested would be a good way to meet people. Contacts for future sex meets, new friends, getting yourself known for party invites etc.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Who could resist a Star Wars reference anyway? Show em ya lightsabre

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"If clubs aren't your scene due to being the 'walking horny' as you put it,

Obviously, if something happens (the same as any other pub) then so be it.

Definitely worth a look.

I agree - socials are a good place to start - usually in pubs & it’s just a pleasant atmosphere & often a chance to arrange a meet too!

I'd second that advice....

My first group social was in a pub, so there was no play pressure.

In fairness I was crapping myself walking in, but had a great evening among great people.

That led to more chatting, more invites to socials and expanded my social circle.

It also gave me the confidence to try a club.

Daunting, yes. But I remembered the advice I'd read on the Fora, didn't wander round like a zombie wanker.

Consequently I'm greeted by name at my local club and am much more comfortable there.

Stay chilled as you are, keep the faith and enjoy the trip...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As many others have said, the cigar picture/non smoker would put me off as I'd assume you smoke but don't want to admit it in order to try and get more meets (it happens). Maybe be a bit clearer on your type physically....saying not much bigger than you is quite difficult to judge when women have such a different shape to men

There's absolutely nothing wrong in stating a preference though.

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By *bsolutebeginnersCouple
over a year ago

Planet Ork

Like most on here we would agree, get yourself in a club. Yes the first time walking through the door is daunting but once inside it’s an unbelievably relaxing environment and a great place to chat with like minded people. Just mingle in the bar, go with no expectations and just chat and see what happens.

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