FabSwingers.com forum: Requesting tips on opening lines / initial conversations

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Heya folks!

Got a question for y'all with regards to what you like to see in your inbox as an opener to conversation, and then what works for you in the 'early days'.

I've had varying results, and (mostly due to bad luck, I admit) have mucked the openings up on several occasions where I really liked the look of the other people and/or their profile.

My experience so far has been that when I start slow and try to get to know the other person/people, I get accused of making 'small talk' and not jumping into the sexy bits straight away. Then when I've tried to learn from this experience and have moved things along a bit quicker, got dropped because I was ramping things up too fast.

I totally understand that everyone's different and has their own pace, but was wondering what makes a message stand out from the crowd for you and/or your partner?

Constructive criticism and helpful replies most graciously appreciated.

-Acheron

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can summarise the responses from this thread,

be yourself

Go at your pace and if they go with you, win win, if not ner mind!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Seems sound advice, thanks!

I suppose the recent reactions to my messages and chats have somewhat coloured my outlook.

Like I said, I'm aware that I've been 'unlucky' in as much as I've started strong with folks who want to go slow and went slow with folks who want to get things started off quickly with a bang.

I'll continue doing what I do and see where it leads.

Thanks!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Seems sound advice, thanks!

I suppose the recent reactions to my messages and chats have somewhat coloured my outlook.

Like I said, I'm aware that I've been 'unlucky' in as much as I've started strong with folks who want to go slow and went slow with folks who want to get things started off quickly with a bang.

I'll continue doing what I do and see where it leads.

Thanks!

Ignore my advice, you’ve had two more meets than me in half the time! Just do what you’re doing!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's hard to know what to day somtimes especially as a man as we seem to do most of the initial contact. I try to pick up on somthing in their profile and start with that as an opener. I also try not starting with hi but rather a sentence like I love your profile especially the part about...dosnt always work though. Sounds like you are doing ok though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's hard to know what to day somtimes especially as a man as we seem to do most of the initial contact. I try to pick up on somthing in their profile and start with that as an opener. I also try not starting with hi but rather a sentence like I love your profile especially the part about...dosnt always work though. Sounds like you are doing ok though "

In my experience the best way to approach a new message to someone is to complement them on their profile (photographs if they have any), ask them questions relating to what they want from your conversations with them but as stated above be yourself if they are interested they would prefer you to be honest rather than telling them what they want to hear... best of luck out there but you have to patient..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be honest always, and be yourself, its you we might end up meeting not the fictional character some people portray. Read the ladies profile and relate your message to it. Don't ask how I am or what I'm doing and don't use text speak. That works for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Be honest always, and be yourself, its you we might end up meeting not the fictional character some people portray. Read the ladies profile and relate your message to it. Don't ask how I am or what I'm doing and don't use text speak. That works for me.

Good advice

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

All very good advice, thank you all!

"Don't ask how I am or what I'm doing and don't use text speak. That works for me.

Ahhh! That may be where I'm going wrong. I always ask how someone is doing, just out of courtesy. I think I need to work on my 'in between' chat a bit.

From reading all of your replies, I think I need to work on my approach and come in somewhere in between generally courteous and absolute filth.

I can do one or the other fairly well, but fall down when trying to hit that 'middle ground'.

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

You talk about I do this, I do that. But you are part of a couple. Maybe if you are messaging people as a single man , that may confuse people. Either use a single profile and write from you, or use your couple profile and talk about what "we" do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Simple one liner and straight to the point.

Fancy a f.....udge

Everyone loves a finger of fudge

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By *ay_beastMan
over a year ago

Hatfield

Interesting thread.

Geek bomb!!!!!!!!!!!!

Firstly, you have to understand that most ladies/couples receive at least 1000 messages a week, between 6pm and midnight you have about 40000 fabbers logged in, I'm guessing, at least 60/70% single guys. Count yourself lucky if she reads the message.

Personally, I use content of the profile for first on contact, depending on the content, I can go one of 3 routes, flirty, dirty or friendly.it's not the formula to success, but you'll get better response.

I think the most important thing about the opener, is your frame of mind, if you're nursing a raging hard on, you gonna write junk, I suggest flicking one of the wrist before browsing, that hint of desperation is easy to detect through the initial message.

I can go on, I prefer to pm if you need further information, guys feel free to get in touch, I'm currently in the process of writing an ebook, look out for it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I found once verified from club or social meets things got a lot easier.

Read her profile and try to decide what she’s actually looking for and go from there as I might not be after the same.

Now totally concede that’s easier said than done but I’ve gained fair sucess I think.

Also being 5’7” means I tend to get written off quickly but move on with a smile lol.

Interestingly years of training on here means I get as good a reply rate on a swipe app

flirty banter works well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Say something that shows you’ve read a profile. Nothing worse than reading a generic message. You can tell those a mile away.

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