FabSwingers.com forum: Master with a sub looking for advice

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have acquired a submissive slave recently and being a master is a new experience for me. Does anyone out there have any ideas or suggestions of things I can do and punishments I can dish out to her. Nothing too painful tho please. Feel free to let your imagination run riot

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"I have acquired a submissive slave recently and being a master is a new experience for me. Does anyone out there have any ideas or suggestions of things I can do and punishments I can dish out to her. Nothing too painful tho please. Feel free to let your imagination run riot

Perhaps look at previous threads on this OP.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *asRedMan
over a year ago

Rochdale ish

Messaged you OP

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hil_SW19Man
over a year ago

Raynes Park

Are you on any fetish sites? Plenty of ideas our there.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

as a dominant and master you have great responsibility for your sub and her wellbeing . by all means use her for any pleasure you have in mind but always remember that aftercare is most important that while she will serve you faithfully and fully you also have a duty to serve her needs .. talk together find what it is she needs then push her limits carefully untill you have a complete submissive under your care and authority .. be well be lucky bex

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Look at fetish sites together or just google punishment idea for subs. My opinion is that you need to look together so that you can both find out what is acceptable to each other, what's a maybe and what's a definite no.

Enjoy!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never understand the desire to punish one's sub. If she has angered or upset you, then the mere thought of what she has done should be devastating to her. But then I'm into DDlg and it is a kinder, softer dynamic. No loving Daddy really wants to have to punish his little girl. X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

My sub wants to be used and punished, nothing too rough or painfull

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire

"My sub wants to be used and punished, nothing too rough or painfull"

I think the word you're looking for is "funishment".

Punishment is for when someone had broken rules.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aeBabeWoman
over a year ago

London

If you are both new to it, I suggest you both research and experiment. Only you can know what your sub needs are through proper communication.

Aftercare is very important to build trust and a relationship that is built on that is one that you can explore more in.

Hopefully it's not just a case of watching 50 shades and saying that is what you want.

Personally I enjoy the DDlg dynamic and impact play with a Domme...

Good luck in your self discovery in this

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ngiehunniTV/TS
over a year ago

northampton ish

I was a sub slave to a guy a while ago and for me it was a lovely period of my live we achieved a good balance of punishment and me pleasing my master, sadly over now.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *udistnorthantsMan
over a year ago

Desborough

"I never understand the desire to punish one's sub. If she has angered or upset you, then the mere thought of what she has done should be devastating to her. But then I'm into DDlg and it is a kinder, softer dynamic. No loving Daddy really wants to have to punish his little girl. X"

This is exactly how my LG and myself explore it... although she has cheekily got herself on the Naughty Step twice..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My sub wants to be used and punished, nothing too rough or painfull"

Well best be a good little dommy and do as she wants then

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *bandjam91Couple
over a year ago

London

Pain isn't a good punishment for us to use as PB enjoys it too much. Making her write lines works well.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely being 'masterful' you would be able to come up with something?failing that make her stand in corner facing wall,sit on the naughty step,100 lines? That'll show her whose boss

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire

"Surely being 'masterful' you would be able to come up with something?failing that make her stand in corner facing wall,sit on the naughty step,100 lines? That'll show her whose boss

I've always enjoyed giving lines as punishment to my sub actually.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oubyLoverWoman
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

Op when you say acquire, what do you mean?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *llie_worcMan
over a year ago

bristol

My lg enjoys figging, stretching, golden showers, gagging, choking and cum play....not necessarily very hardcore but her buzz Is that she does what she's told and makes me happy x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

Thoughts on safety...

1. Both discuss & agree on hard & soft limits.

2. Agree safe words. Amber & red are the most commonly used. Use a noisy object that can be dropped, if using breath play/ gagging.

3. As a Dom, you must maintain self-control. If you loose it, you risk the life of your sub.

4. Check any collats/ restraints. Yes, they should restrain. But they shouldn't cut off the circulation.

5. Be aware of allergies, such as latex. This can develop over time and repeated exposures to latex.

Enjoy!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I like that word??funishment is a great word????

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for all your replies, very thoughtful and helpful and much appreciated ??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"as a dominant and master you have great responsibility for your sub and her wellbeing . by all means use her for any pleasure you have in mind but always remember that aftercare is most important that while she will serve you faithfully and fully you also have a duty to serve her needs .. talk together find what it is she needs then push her limits carefully untill you have a complete submissive under your care and authority .. be well be lucky bex "

Well said. It takes time to learn various things and you have the well-being of your sub to look out for as well. My advice would be join the local munch and attend events.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I entered into this lifestyle I read everything I could get hold of. I messsged other Dommes, joined fetish sites and talked to my sub. Communication is so important. Take it slowly. It's a journey. It has to work for both of you. When it does, it's amazing.

Miss A

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How can you claim to be a Master, if you need advice on simple things like this?

Dom or Owner is more fitting.

Does the slave know of you lack of experience?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *agicfingerslovelyMan
over a year ago

Rugby

"When I entered into this lifestyle I read everything I could get hold of. I messsged other Dommes, joined fetish sites and talked to my sub. Communication is so important. Take it slowly. It's a journey. It has to work for both of you. When it does, it's amazing.

Miss A "

And always more to learn

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *agicfingerslovelyMan
over a year ago

Rugby

[Removed by poster at 03/01/18 01:42:08]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *agicfingerslovelyMan
over a year ago

Rugby

Pop along to your local fetish Market for equipment, clothes and friendly chats and if you are lucky some teaching sessions with q & a's.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

"How can you claim to be a Master, if you need advice on simple things like this?

Dom or Owner is more fitting.

Does the slave know of you lack of experience? "

There are so few bdsm related threads, it’s always a pity when people start belittling others. We all have to start somewhere and the OP is here asking for advice. So if you know better why not help rather than pour scorn.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

OP your opening sentence comes across almost as if you stumbled into the world of D/s without having any prior interest and are now trying to fit into that to meet the needs of the sub - so perhaps the first thing you need to do is take a step back and consider what exactly your interest is, what kind of Dom you see yourself as, and what kind of dynamic your relationship with the sub will have.

To do this can only suggest you read, read and then read some more (there are other sites catering to this which can't be named here but are easily found with some Googling and then books like Spare Me The Roses and SM101 are worth a read).

Maybe get along to local munches (socials for the BDSM community) and talk to other more experienced people - ask as many questions as you can think of - the only stupid question is the one you don't ask.

Search out an on-line BDSM questionnaire and both of you complete it independently and then get together afterwards to compare notes - they're incredibly useful to focus the mind as to what your interests are.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arklordMan
over a year ago

rugeley

"Thoughts on safety...

1. Both discuss & agree on hard & soft limits.

2. Agree safe words. Amber & red are the most commonly used. Use a noisy object that can be dropped, if using breath play/ gagging.

3. As a Dom, you must maintain self-control. If you loose it, you risk the life of your sub.

4. Check any collats/ restraints. Yes, they should restrain. But they shouldn't cut off the circulation.

5. Be aware of allergies, such as latex. This can develop over time and repeated exposures to latex.

Enjoy!"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OP your opening sentence comes across almost as if you stumbled into the world of D/s without having any prior interest and are now trying to fit into that to meet the needs of the sub - so perhaps the first thing you need to do is take a step back and consider what exactly your interest is, what kind of Dom you see yourself as, and what kind of dynamic your relationship with the sub will have.

The best advice we can see

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread