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BDSM advice

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hey, sorry if BDSM is the wrong label for this situation, I'm quite a newbie to this.

So I'm a personal trainer at a local gym and a few weeks back a woman came to me wanting to lose weight and tone up. I gave her a free session and she pushed herself so hard, from this I knew I could push her even harder.

Next day she messaged me wanting to bulk book some sessions saying she loved how hard I pushed her and the pain she was in.

We did another session and where just generally chit chatting between exercises when she casually told me how she loves sex with other women, now I'm not exactly shy but she did it do casually it caught me off guard and had me blushing. She ripped me about it something rotten. So, I told her she was going to get punished for mocking me, I worked her so hard and and was whispering in her ear things like "that's what you get for being such a mouthy bitch".

Its just kinda built from there.

The problem is I love punishing her in the gym, she loves how hard I push her, I get off on working her hard and she loves having that effect on me, but she's made it very clear we will never have sex. She tells me about other people she's sleeping with and says she won't sleep with me because I'm involved in her life, which left me kinda flattered.

Any advice as I feel like I'm over my head sometimes.

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By *eviantdeliteWoman
over a year ago

Cheltenham

Sounds like the start of a beautiful friendship....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sounds like the start of a beautiful friendship.... "

Lol it is, were extremely open about things and talk a lot. I guess I just don't completely get it. I mentioned I was playing her game, I want to fuck her, she won't let me so I punish her more in the gym and she gets results, she pointed out this wasn't a game to her, its just how she is.

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By *eviantdeliteWoman
over a year ago

Cheltenham


"Sounds like the start of a beautiful friendship....

Lol it is, were extremely open about things and talk a lot. I guess I just don't completely get it. I mentioned I was playing her game, I want to fuck her, she won't let me so I punish her more in the gym and she gets results, she pointed out this wasn't a game to her, its just how she is."

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By *eKoopleCouple
over a year ago

Germany / Manchester

Personally, I’d keep it professional, this woman has put her confidence in you to be a professional and though flirting is a little fun, it’ll end in tears when a line is crossed. She’s mentioned you won’t be having sex as you’re involved in her life, use that as a sign.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Personally, I’d keep it professional, this woman has put her confidence in you to be a professional and though flirting is a little fun, it’ll end in tears when a line is crossed. She’s mentioned you won’t be having sex as you’re involved in her life, use that as a sign. "

I have thought that myself, we spoke about it, neither of us want that. She likes me pushing her harder, I love seeing how hard she will work for me, I get turned on by it, she loves me getting turned on over her working hard... It works for us both.

I know what you mean about crossing the line and I told her from the start I won't ever cross the line without her say so, I will never touch her in a sexual manner inside the gym.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I totally agree, she’s given a clear signal that she doesn’t want you to cross that professional line.

Personally I’d back right off, and put it a professional footing only. Last thing you want is an awkward situation hin

X

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Some BDSM scenarios don't involve sex ever. If you want to label this as BDSM its up to you. We were told of a woman who would only eat cream cakes etc if she was punished for it.

If you're both fine with it accept for what it is but I think you're skating on fairly thin ice and leaving yourself open to accusations of impropriety.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Some BDSM scenarios don't involve sex ever. If you want to label this as BDSM its up to you. We were told of a woman who would only eat cream cakes etc if she was punished for it.

If you're both fine with it accept for what it is but I think you're skating on fairly thin ice and leaving yourself open to accusations of impropriety."

I don't know what this is, hence asking for advice.

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By *acavityMan
over a year ago

Redditch

BDSM does not have to involve sex.

It can be about the power exchange, giving and receiving pain, teasing, or in this case about discipline.

Enjoy the flirting and accept that it is not going to go any further.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"BDSM does not have to involve sex.

It can be about the power exchange, giving and receiving pain, teasing, or in this case about discipline.

Enjoy the flirting and accept that it is not going to go any further. "

I've accepted that, she appriciates that I will not push for anything more, she's told me if it gets too difficult to let her know and shell stop.

I guess I am using it as self discipline, being able to walk so close to the line but not cross it, its quite a thrill.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I think you have crossed the line in your profession by whispering in a client's ear " this is what you get for being a mouthy bitch".

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think you have crossed the line in your profession by whispering in a client's ear " this is what you get for being a mouthy bitch". "

Just a touch

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By *DSM - CUCKOLD - COUPLECouple
over a year ago

manchester

There's definitely some power exchange thing going on here just not so clear who's in control. Maybe she wants to cuck you lol

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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire


"So, I told her she was going to get punished for mocking me, I worked her so hard and and was whispering in her ear things like "that's what you get for being such a mouthy bitch".

"

I think that's really unprofessional and you should hand the client off to a colleague.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So, I told her she was going to get punished for mocking me, I worked her so hard and and was whispering in her ear things like "that's what you get for being such a mouthy bitch".

I think that's really unprofessional and you should hand the client off to a colleague."

We've been speaking most of the day and sadly it came to that. The whole situation is far too sexual for me, its happened before, we spoke about it and I was okay for a week or so, but then it just starts getting more intense and leaves me wanting more.

Its unfair for both of us.

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

From one PT to another, walk away!

It's not worth the complication & possible effect on your reputation & business.

I'm known as the ice queen at my gym, as I can freeze a man dead in his tracks if he even looks like he's going to anywhere near overstepping the mark.

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By *eviantdeliteWoman
over a year ago

Cheltenham


"From one PT to another, walk away!

It's not worth the complication & possible effect on your reputation & business.

I'm known as the ice queen at my gym, as I can freeze a man dead in his tracks if he even looks like he's going to anywhere near overstepping the mark.

"

Awesome

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley


"BDSM does not have to involve sex.

It can be about the power exchange, giving and receiving pain, teasing, or in this case about discipline.

Enjoy the flirting and accept that it is not going to go any further. "

Exactly this. Do some reading on Dom/sub relationships. She sounds quite bratty to get what she wants. Punish her by not pushing her hard! Two can play the game. It’s a game of cat and mouse or I’ve said it’s like chess at times. The bratty sub can manipulate the Dom to get what she wants.

By saying she won’t have sex with you she’s making you work harder. Give her some easier exercises that don’t push her and she’ll try to push your buttons to get what she wants. Like exercise the pain she puts herself through releases endorphins and makes her feel good. You get pleasure from seeing her happy.

BDSM is so much better at times than sex. It’s more of a mind f*ck.

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By *eviantdeliteWoman
over a year ago

Cheltenham


"BDSM does not have to involve sex.

It can be about the power exchange, giving and receiving pain, teasing, or in this case about discipline.

Enjoy the flirting and accept that it is not going to go any further.

Exactly this. Do some reading on Dom/sub relationships. She sounds quite bratty to get what she wants. Punish her by not pushing her hard! Two can play the game. It’s a game of cat and mouse or I’ve said it’s like chess at times. The bratty sub can manipulate the Dom to get what she wants.

By saying she won’t have sex with you she’s making you work harder. Give her some easier exercises that don’t push her and she’ll try to push your buttons to get what she wants. Like exercise the pain she puts herself through releases endorphins and makes her feel good. You get pleasure from seeing her happy.

BDSM is so much better at times than sex. It’s more of a mind f*ck."

Indeed x the sex after a a few days of me being bratty and the dynamic going back and forth of the relationship...it is strange, in a sub/Dom relationship it is actually the sub that has the power, despite what most people think xx

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By *rince Charming 69Man
over a year ago

Loughborough

You are on the road to getting your P45,

and looking for another job.

Don't shit on your own doorstep.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think of it as experience. When you get to my age you will have done all kinds of things other people would be afraid to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just ask her if she wants to have sex with you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/12/17 11:43:31]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

With respect the sub has no more than the ordinary right to control what happens to their body. They have this right not because they are a sub but because it should be a right that everyone has. A sub cannot make dom do anything the dom does not want to do. If the sub can make the dom do anything then in reality the roles are reversed or the sub is topping from the bottom.

If people are in a relationship were the sub has the power and the sub still calls themself a sub, that is their business and no one else's.

However to advise that is how D/S works I would suggest is wrong. Although every relationship has its own special dynamic, in my view D/S is relationship of mutual agreement and unless it is a total power exchange situation (and even then that works by agreement) neither has power in a relationship. That is of course putting aside situations of force and abuse.

In terms of OP I would suggest as someone else has that this is not a D/S situation but a cuck situation. The client is feeding off OP's frustration and I would suggest that is the client's motivation. She could go to other trainers and be worked hard. But with OP she has him on a leash of sexual frustration. Given that in a kink situation there should be discussion and negotiation of the rules before starting and that did not occur. This situation has tears at bedtime written all over it. But good luck.

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley


"BDSM does not have to involve sex.

It can be about the power exchange, giving and receiving pain, teasing, or in this case about discipline.

Enjoy the flirting and accept that it is not going to go any further.

Exactly this. Do some reading on Dom/sub relationships. She sounds quite bratty to get what she wants. Punish her by not pushing her hard! Two can play the game. It’s a game of cat and mouse or I’ve said it’s like chess at times. The bratty sub can manipulate the Dom to get what she wants.

By saying she won’t have sex with you she’s making you work harder. Give her some easier exercises that don’t push her and she’ll try to push your buttons to get what she wants. Like exercise the pain she puts herself through releases endorphins and makes her feel good. You get pleasure from seeing her happy.

BDSM is so much better at times than sex. It’s more of a mind f*ck.

Indeed x the sex after a a few days of me being bratty and the dynamic going back and forth of the relationship...it is strange, in a sub/Dom relationship it is actually the sub that has the power, despite what most people think xx"

It’s a lot of fun being sub.

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By *DSM - CUCKOLD - COUPLECouple
over a year ago

manchester


"BDSM does not have to involve sex.

It can be about the power exchange, giving and receiving pain, teasing, or in this case about discipline.

Enjoy the flirting and accept that it is not going to go any further.

Exactly this. Do some reading on Dom/sub relationships. She sounds quite bratty to get what she wants. Punish her by not pushing her hard! Two can play the game. It’s a game of cat and mouse or I’ve said it’s like chess at times. The bratty sub can manipulate the Dom to get what she wants.

By saying she won’t have sex with you she’s making you work harder. Give her some easier exercises that don’t push her and she’ll try to push your buttons to get what she wants. Like exercise the pain she puts herself through releases endorphins and makes her feel good. You get pleasure from seeing her happy.

BDSM is so much better at times than sex. It’s more of a mind f*ck.

Indeed x the sex after a a few days of me being bratty and the dynamic going back and forth of the relationship...it is strange, in a sub/Dom relationship it is actually the sub that has the power, despite what most people think xx"
. ^^^^all of this

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By *oubyLoverWoman
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

I have a related question and wonder if it may also help the OP - how do you subtlety ask if someone’s into bdsm, especially in a profession relationship? Not everyone knows TTWD.

I have a situation...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mention the word 'vanilla' in conversation and see how they respond.

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By *oubyLoverWoman
over a year ago

East Yorkshire


"Mention the word 'vanilla' in conversation and see how they respond. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Mention the word 'vanilla' in conversation and see how they respond. "

I'd say "I don't like ice cream "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"BDSM does not have to involve sex.

It can be about the power exchange, giving and receiving pain, teasing, or in this case about discipline.

Enjoy the flirting and accept that it is not going to go any further.

Exactly this. Do some reading on Dom/sub relationships. She sounds quite bratty to get what she wants. Punish her by not pushing her hard! Two can play the game. It’s a game of cat and mouse or I’ve said it’s like chess at times. The bratty sub can manipulate the Dom to get what she wants.

By saying she won’t have sex with you she’s making you work harder. Give her some easier exercises that don’t push her and she’ll try to push your buttons to get what she wants. Like exercise the pain she puts herself through releases endorphins and makes her feel good. You get pleasure from seeing her happy.

BDSM is so much better at times than sex. It’s more of a mind f*ck."

I love this!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So, I told her she was going to get punished for mocking me, I worked her so hard and and was whispering in her ear things like "that's what you get for being such a mouthy bitch".

I think that's really unprofessional and you should hand the client off to a colleague.

We've been speaking most of the day and sadly it came to that. The whole situation is far too sexual for me, its happened before, we spoke about it and I was okay for a week or so, but then it just starts getting more intense and leaves me wanting more.

Its unfair for both of us. "

Is it unfair or are you enjoying it? Sounds like she loves the situation, as others have said it's a kind of cuck thing. If you get off on it too then have fun with it.

Just be careful as it's at work and could cost you your job if she turns on you.

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By *eviantdeliteWoman
over a year ago

Cheltenham


"BDSM does not have to involve sex.

It can be about the power exchange, giving and receiving pain, teasing, or in this case about discipline.

Enjoy the flirting and accept that it is not going to go any further.

Exactly this. Do some reading on Dom/sub relationships. She sounds quite bratty to get what she wants. Punish her by not pushing her hard! Two can play the game. It’s a game of cat and mouse or I’ve said it’s like chess at times. The bratty sub can manipulate the Dom to get what she wants.

By saying she won’t have sex with you she’s making you work harder. Give her some easier exercises that don’t push her and she’ll try to push your buttons to get what she wants. Like exercise the pain she puts herself through releases endorphins and makes her feel good. You get pleasure from seeing her happy.

BDSM is so much better at times than sex. It’s more of a mind f*ck.

Indeed x the sex after a a few days of me being bratty and the dynamic going back and forth of the relationship...it is strange, in a sub/Dom relationship it is actually the sub that has the power, despite what most people think xx

It’s a lot of fun being sub. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I did think about not pushing her so hard to see what she does, but she's paying me for this.

I think were just going to carry it on. I asked her what she gets from it and she said she just feels more comfortable being told what to do and pushed, she loves to please whoevers telling her what to do which is why she trains so hard for me, which is giving her the results she wants.

I can't see any real harm as long as I don't try to make this sexual.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reasons 1 to 10 why I have a female PT

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wonder if you're not totally 100% with this situation as you're needing to discuss on here?

Although the sexual frustration is exciting, is it going to just get too much eventually?

For your sanity perhaps listen to the other PT's advice!

You could always try to simulate this scenario with an actual swing partner?? Just a thought!

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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire


"Reasons 1 to 10 why I have a female PT"

Yes. Exactly this.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I wonder if you're not totally 100% with this situation as you're needing to discuss on here?

Although the sexual frustration is exciting, is it going to just get too much eventually?

For your sanity perhaps listen to the other PT's advice!

You could always try to simulate this scenario with an actual swing partner?? Just a thought! "

I'm inexperienced at this sort of thing, I am enjoying it but at times was confused as it was sexual to me so assumed it was for her, but I realise now that's not the case.

She wants results, she's given herself to me fully in the gym and in the gym only, I'm going to get her results, the flirting is just a bonus. I'm also flattered she trusts me enough to open up about that side of her.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I wonder if you're not totally 100% with this situation as you're needing to discuss on here?

Although the sexual frustration is exciting, is it going to just get too much eventually?

For your sanity perhaps listen to the other PT's advice!

You could always try to simulate this scenario with an actual swing partner?? Just a thought!

I'm inexperienced at this sort of thing, I am enjoying it but at times was confused as it was sexual to me so assumed it was for her, but I realise now that's not the case.

She wants results, she's given herself to me fully in the gym and in the gym only, I'm going to get her results, the flirting is just a bonus. I'm also flattered she trusts me enough to open up about that side of her."

I would have assumed it was sexual for her too since she is telling you all about her sexual preferences and activities. She has crossed a line and you've willingly followed. You're being used to her advantage and she's employed flattery and confiding personal details to draw you in. A lot of people blur professional/personal boundaries it's up to you to decide if it's a good idea or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wonder if you're not totally 100% with this situation as you're needing to discuss on here?

Although the sexual frustration is exciting, is it going to just get too much eventually?

For your sanity perhaps listen to the other PT's advice!

You could always try to simulate this scenario with an actual swing partner?? Just a thought!

I'm inexperienced at this sort of thing, I am enjoying it but at times was confused as it was sexual to me so assumed it was for her, but I realise now that's not the case.

She wants results, she's given herself to me fully in the gym and in the gym only, I'm going to get her results, the flirting is just a bonus. I'm also flattered she trusts me enough to open up about that side of her.

I would have assumed it was sexual for her too since she is telling you all about her sexual preferences and activities. She has crossed a line and you've willingly followed. You're being used to her advantage and she's employed flattery and confiding personal details to draw you in. A lot of people blur professional/personal boundaries it's up to you to decide if it's a good idea or not."

Wise words indeed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't do anything with someone you don't trust .Alot on here are all talk and haven't got a clue about bdsm.Lots of wannabes after watching 50 shades of shit .

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By *iketohave23Man
over a year ago

swindon

Any good bdsm movie?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good book I read was the dark garden .

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

If you are a PT.. pushing the fuck out of someone probably isn't healthy. Have you considered that?

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By *eviantdeliteWoman
over a year ago

Cheltenham


"I wouldn't do anything with someone you don't trust .Alot on here are all talk and haven't got a clue about bdsm.Lots of wannabes after watching 50 shades of shit . "

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By *lackbird1000Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

Oh lord a few weeks back , already in to this sort of conversation ! My on and off PT for the past five years ! We never talked about our sex lifes ! And I know him well but he his truly professional. Is the reason why I wouldn't have someone else! I would not feel comfortable if that happen! I pay him to keeps me fit , diet advice and better ways to maintain it ! Not to get distracted with him doing his job ! Pushing me further and hell he does !Many people lost their job because they dont separate their job with pleasure ! £45 hour to speak about my sex escapades ? Maybe she needs a therapist does not sounds right!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh lord a few weeks back , already in to this sort of conversation ! My on and off PT for the past five years ! We never talked about our sex lifes ! And I know him well but he his truly professional. Is the reason why I wouldn't have someone else! I would not feel comfortable if that happen! I pay him to keeps me fit , diet advice and better ways to maintain it ! Not to get distracted with him doing his job ! Pushing me further and hell he does !Many people lost their job because they dont separate their job with pleasure ! £45 hour to speak about my sex escapades ? Maybe she needs a therapist does not sounds right! "

£45 an hour?

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By *lackbird1000Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham


"Oh lord a few weeks back , already in to this sort of conversation ! My on and off PT for the past five years ! We never talked about our sex lifes ! And I know him well but he his truly professional. Is the reason why I wouldn't have someone else! I would not feel comfortable if that happen! I pay him to keeps me fit , diet advice and better ways to maintain it ! Not to get distracted with him doing his job ! Pushing me further and hell he does !Many people lost their job because they dont separate their job with pleasure ! £45 hour to speak about my sex escapades ? Maybe she needs a therapist does not sounds right!

£45 an hour? "
yes and he is worth every penny , so do I ! This price is in the range price in Birmingham, in London much more . X

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If you are a PT.. pushing the fuck out of someone probably isn't healthy. Have you considered that? "

Its one of the reasons people come to us. Knowing how far you can push someone, my client has a very high pain threshold, I do push her harder than most clients because I know she can handle it, I'd never purposely make her do anything that would cause or risk injury.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh lord a few weeks back , already in to this sort of conversation ! My on and off PT for the past five years ! We never talked about our sex lifes ! And I know him well but he his truly professional. Is the reason why I wouldn't have someone else! I would not feel comfortable if that happen! I pay him to keeps me fit , diet advice and better ways to maintain it ! Not to get distracted with him doing his job ! Pushing me further and hell he does !Many people lost their job because they dont separate their job with pleasure ! £45 hour to speak about my sex escapades ? Maybe she needs a therapist does not sounds right!

£45 an hour? yes and he is worth every penny , so do I ! This price is in the range price in Birmingham, in London much more . X"

Mine is £100 for 5 sessions and she's amazing. X

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Oh lord a few weeks back , already in to this sort of conversation ! My on and off PT for the past five years ! We never talked about our sex lifes ! And I know him well but he his truly professional. Is the reason why I wouldn't have someone else! I would not feel comfortable if that happen! I pay him to keeps me fit , diet advice and better ways to maintain it ! Not to get distracted with him doing his job ! Pushing me further and hell he does !Many people lost their job because they dont separate their job with pleasure ! £45 hour to speak about my sex escapades ? Maybe she needs a therapist does not sounds right!

£45 an hour? yes and he is worth every penny , so do I ! This price is in the range price in Birmingham, in London much more . X

Mine is £100 for 5 sessions and she's amazing. X"

She bulk booked 12, was going to be 240, called it 200 as she's booking so much at a time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/12/17 12:47:46]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hey, sorry if BDSM is the wrong label for this situation, I'm quite a newbie to this.

So I'm a personal trainer at a local gym and a few weeks back a woman came to me wanting to lose weight and tone up. I gave her a free session and she pushed herself so hard, from this I knew I could push her even harder.

Next day she messaged me wanting to bulk book some sessions saying she loved how hard I pushed her and the pain she was in.

We did another session and where just generally chit chatting between exercises when she casually told me how she loves sex with other women, now I'm not exactly shy but she did it do casually it caught me off guard and had me blushing. She ripped me about it something rotten. So, I told her she was going to get punished for mocking me, I worked her so hard and and was whispering in her ear things like "that's what you get for being such a mouthy bitch".

Its just kinda built from there.

The problem is I love punishing her in the gym, she loves how hard I push her, I get off on working her hard and she loves having that effect on me, but she's made it very clear we will never have sex. She tells me about other people she's sleeping with and says she won't sleep with me because I'm involved in her life, which left me kinda flattered.

Any advice as I feel like I'm over my head sometimes."

This sounds amazing

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By *lackbird1000Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham


"Oh lord a few weeks back , already in to this sort of conversation ! My on and off PT for the past five years ! We never talked about our sex lifes ! And I know him well but he his truly professional. Is the reason why I wouldn't have someone else! I would not feel comfortable if that happen! I pay him to keeps me fit , diet advice and better ways to maintain it ! Not to get distracted with him doing his job ! Pushing me further and hell he does !Many people lost their job because they dont separate their job with pleasure ! £45 hour to speak about my sex escapades ? Maybe she needs a therapist does not sounds right!

£45 an hour? yes and he is worth every penny , so do I ! This price is in the range price in Birmingham, in London much more . X

Mine is £100 for 5 sessions and she's amazing. X"
that's fabulous price where do you guys train ? Really interested !

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