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Easing her in gently

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

What’s the best way to progress from bedroom fantasy to sharing her for real?

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By *uietlyBohemianCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle-under-Lyme

Visiting a club with no expectations

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

Open and honest dialogue

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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire


"What’s the best way to progress from bedroom fantasy to sharing her for real? "

Start off by adjusting your language. You don't 'share' a person, they do what they want. She isn't a chocolate bar - she isn't your property to share.

If you would like to explore mutual fantasies of group sex, then suggest that to her. See what she thinks. Suggest a swinging club. Have a look at Fabs together.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

That’s a start I suppose

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Do many people go to the clubs just to get the feel without pressure

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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire


"That’s a start I suppose "

Maybe delete your profile here first though, eh? Because it looks like you're a cheat (hopefully you're not).

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I’ve never cheated, just curious

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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire


"I’ve never cheated, just curious "

Hopefully she is not the kind of person who believes that having a profile on a swingers site is cheating.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hopefully eh

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Btw she isn’t exactly innocent, she had a fling with her pt

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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire


"Btw she isn’t exactly innocent, she had a fling with her pt "

To be honest - I think you should only swing when you have a really strong relationship. If you're on here and she's cheating on you with her personal trainer, that doesn't sound like a very good relationship to get involved with other people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve never cheated, just curious "
Your profile say different .looking to meet ????

If you want to do this with your partner or wife then honesty will get you started . delete ,talk and start again is our advice . Fab life style is about sharing .

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks for your honesty, it’s difficult for us to talk really since the thing with her pt happened

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks for your honesty, it’s difficult for us to talk really since the thing with her pt happened "

I'd start by taking the advice Ms Lewd has given you

It is jolly good advice

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Thanks for your honesty, it’s difficult for us to talk really since the thing with her pt happened "

Work on that first. Successful swinging relationships are based on good communication. If you go in to this with unresolved issues it'll make them worse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks for your honesty, it’s difficult for us to talk really since the thing with her pt happened "

But you being on here as a single “looking to meet” doesn’t seem like a good next step does it?

You need to discuss properly why she felt the need to “stray”. Does she have fantasies desires to be with others....and is it something you can do as a shared experience?

As others have suggested....perhaps delete your profile (at least for now). Talk to her about sharing fantasies/desires. Do a random search for swinging/sites..... and “discover” the fab site. Look at it together, start a joint profile and off you go.....!

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By *iversong321Woman
over a year ago

Preston/Merseyside


"Thanks for your honesty, it’s difficult for us to talk really since the thing with her pt happened "

Sort the drama in your relationship out first before trying anything else. It would not be fair on anyone you met to throw them into a situation with a couple who have big issues.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you all x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Talk to her

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

Yep talk to her.

The affair has little to do with swinging, so sort that out.

Go to a club, make a conscious choice not to swing and just enjoy the atmosphere. Plan to leave after an hour or 2. If you both come away wishing you had done more, there is always another day.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks, it sounds like a plan. I just need to find a local club

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe


"Open and honest dialogue "

Certainly this MUST be the starting point, and respect her views. Some people want to keep fantasies as just fantasies so be prepared.

Good luck though.

Cal

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By *ungmagic10Man
over a year ago

Northampton


"Yep talk to her.

The affair has little to do with swinging, so sort that out.

Go to a club, make a conscious choice not to swing and just enjoy the atmosphere. Plan to leave after an hour or 2. If you both come away wishing you had done more, there is always another day.

"

Good idea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What’s the best way to progress from bedroom fantasy to sharing her for real? "

Who's fantasy is it? Hers or yours?

How did you feel when you knew she was fucking her pt?

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By *ndeenaMan
over a year ago

Upminster

Respect her views and listen to her first in the PT fling.

Not sure suggesting a club visit straight away might have positive effect all the time. I suggest starting with watching mature porn together and gradually moving to watching MFM three way stuff. Then suggest going to a club to see mature couple in action sometimes in future. Suggest just a visit with few drinks and coming back. If she didn't reject the club visit offer then arrange it to go to a nice club on special days (like birthday or anniversary or similar).

Then go home and discuss about it. If it looks like she enjoys going there then try to attend swing social drinks events to meet fellow swingers in a relaxed social event in a public place.

After that you both will enjoy. Don't push anything. Give her the freedom to decide. Happy swinging.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I was devastated but turned on by the thought of it that’s why I don’t make a big thing of it

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks, it’s difficult to talk sometimes but I’ll give it a go. Shit or bust eh?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sound like you need to talk things through with her, open heartedly and honest. Very difficult think to do, as it may raise issues or you may hear things you don't want to. If you don't talk about it, you're on a rocky road.

Good luck OP.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Aw man you have hit the nail on the head there

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By *oxesMan
over a year ago

Southend, Essex


"What’s the best way to progress from bedroom fantasy to sharing her for real? "

I would say a social.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

What is a social ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks, it’s difficult to talk sometimes but I’ll give it a go. Shit or bust eh?"

If you don't sort out the fling and have open , honest communication it won't work - go relationship counselling to help you talk about the issues and learn how to be open and honest and s good listener too x

Good luck x

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By *eviantdeliteWoman
over a year ago

Cheltenham


"Btw she isn’t exactly innocent, she had a fling with her pt

To be honest - I think you should only swing when you have a really strong relationship. If you're on here and she's cheating on you with her personal trainer, that doesn't sound like a very good relationship to get involved with other people."

Indeed....sounds a little like OP is perhaps looking for some payback

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What’s the best way to progress from bedroom fantasy to sharing her for real? "

1. Romantic night in hotel

2. Bed restraints

3. Blindfold

4. Invite at least double as many wont show

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

That I like the sound of x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That I like the sound of x"

Might be an idea to ask her first if you want to stay with her and out of jail though

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By *blasiansCouple
over a year ago

Wakefield


"Open and honest dialogue "

and visiting club comment

Are good starts. Trying to manage a meet on fab is a minefield for newbies and may put them off.

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley


"Thanks for your honesty, it’s difficult for us to talk really since the thing with her pt happened

Work on that first. Successful swinging relationships are based on good communication. If you go in to this with unresolved issues it'll make them worse."

Totally agree. Sounds as if you have trust issues. You want to introduce her to other guys? What if she really likes one. Will you get jealous?

Sit and talk about what happened. Swinging won’t fix a broken relationship.

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By *igertigerCouple (MM)
over a year ago

nr Letterkenny


"That I like the sound of x"

have some fun on your own it will make you feel better

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