FabSwingers.com forum: First time couple, event or couple?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hey, so a question for some of the more experienced folk and possibly freshly new swingers

and hey! First post on the forum!

Overcomplicating things before you have the “first time”, is it just me or is it a major buzz kill?

Also we are so stuck between going to an “event” (as it could be really overwhelming for a first time thing) or just going for a couple or something....

decisions decisions! We both have slightly different views / feelings on this subject, but do not want to ruin the fun by overthinking it all, and the last week has had wayyyyy too much overthinking

How did you all find that first step?

(For me, I like to take a leap of faith sometimes and just go with it - doesn’t need to be perfect just needs to be fun! - him posting this btw.)

Be cool to hear some advice / stories about other similar people

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *mallcock43Man
over a year ago

blackpool

Me and my wife have had the same chat really nevouse about taking that first step

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We went to a club for our first try and swinging.

It was friendly, non pressured and let us find our feet at our own pace without any expectations.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*at

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ngandnickCouple
over a year ago

Haverhill

We went to clubs first, found this was a good way of meeting people without any pressure which helped to ease the nerves.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Sounds awesome, exactly how we would like it to go if we did that. See we have some really inviting event hosts with good feedback around by us. Exhanged a few messages and appear to be really nice and reassuring about the whole no pressure thing.

We know our limits (not much really) so we are prepared for that but just can’t quite make our minds on that “first time”..... jeesh it feels like being a virgin again for us both haha!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uriousCouple999Couple
over a year ago

edinburgh

We went to a club first, found it pressure free and we could just go with the flow

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

A club will be best, maybe a party, if it's a really good one.

But, we'd say club, every time. It's so much easier to go at your own pace, just play together, while watching others, or just chat in sexy surroundings.

I would defimeately say don't do a couples private meet. You might get nervous, might not like them as much as you thought, not be in the mood etc etc.

Whatever you do, keep it fun and right for you x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By * and BCouple
over a year ago

Durham

Our very first anything entering into this wonderful world was NYE 2015/16 at a club. We didn't feel pressured by anyone, we didn't leave the bar. Lots of folk came to chat and when we told them our first time they gave us invaluable information about the scene. We left with a new year in front of us armed with more information than we would ever have believed and never looked back. The nerves and over thinking over the Christmas was brilliant knowing what we were going to do. Just make sure you don't back out with how nervous it can be thinking about walking into a club for the first time. Its not what you expect, people are respectful and genuinely friendly. We know love the club scene most of all in this lifestyle

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

Are you seeing the common theme? Lol

100% a club. The right club is by far the best way. Don't be well flowers go our there and talk to people and you'll have a great night. We'd suggest research the right club, go to a dress type club such as the vanilla alternative and go one a couples night for the first time.

It's not half as scary as you think and you have lots of genuine people to choose from... I mean talk to lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *o4everCouple
over a year ago

manchester

Club definitely for first time, You can try before you buy lol x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Wow! Some very reassuring replies thank you.

Will have to show this to ‘her’ later. Funny enough it was myself with the doubt on the club thing.... and it’s only because I’m like “I have no idea what to expect” kind of doubt.

We have no plan for NYE..... and seems like lots on locally and again, the feedback from people (and status updates by lovely couples after said nights lol) sound pretty epic!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

Lots of people expect a club to be a full on Roman Orgy as soon as you walk through the door! They really aren't

There's plenty of fun to be had, but you need to socialise to get involved in any, and you can always socialise and do no play at all, or just play together, either in private or in a group area. In a group area, you won't be swamped in cocks or pussy, you'll be left to your own devices unless you ask or the other people ask.

Have fun, but the nervous excitement is good too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our first time was with another couple who lived in a nearby town. We wrote to each other a few times, exchanged photos and then arranged to meet for a social meet just to check that we'd we would get on OK. Actually we met up three times before we got around to fixing a date.

We met at their place and have to say it was a very satisfying experience.

Until you actually do it, you're never sure if you can really accept seeing another bloke shag your wife or another woman shag your husband.

Ours was a good experience and we really hope that yours is too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Club visit for our first swinging experience, we didn’t play with anyone else but had a fantastic night out mingling with like minded couples .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We too used a club Visit for a first dabble.

Great experience in a relaxed pressure free environment.

We went again last week, but just played with each other. Single guys will follow you around, we had a couple of guys trying to touch without consent, which annoyed Tom. I wasnt aware until Tom told me later, but distance was kept when asked. And the club are great at sorting unwanted attention I believe.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have just experienced first meet, we went for a single guy as both wanted that, but not quite what we wanted or expected. Guy was nice enough but was more interested in himself. I think club next time or a social meet with another couple. Hasn't put us off but don't think single guy was way to go for us.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *artytwoCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

The absolutely most important thing is for both to be in total agreement about what they are doing and where they are.

Nothing more uncomfortable than seeing couples where one (usually the woman but not always) is 'pushing' the other.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

When we decided to take the plunge into this mad fun-filled world we really didn't know what to expect. Mrs T wanted to try a club but I was more nervous and felt that I would rather meet another couple. We eventually settled on meeting another couple and let's just say it did not go well.

Thankfully it didn't put us off and so we tried our local club next, everybody was welcoming we met some lovely couples and had a great time.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On the flipside, for us it was meeting a guy which was a nice experience. And we tend to prefer meeting a guy or couple.

For me (disclaimer:- as the male half speaking), I don't really enjoy clubs a lot, but I'm not the overly chatty social type of person in big crowds. So a room full of strangers can be more of a chore than something I'd enjoy.

So that's something to consider if you're abit of an overthinking introvert.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

See I’m slightly the opposite, more extrovert and can end up being way chatty / easily carried away

but the other half is much more reserved... kind of Yin and Yang to each other like that...

But going by the advice on here it’s looking to be a club as a little intro for us... we are wanting to play eventually with couples / singles if the connection was right but we both need to have “broken the ice” I think before that so it’s not so initially awkward or anything.

Either way all good fun and both of us are looking forward to whatever may happen

"On the flipside, for us it was meeting a guy which was a nice experience. And we tend to prefer meeting a guy or couple.

So that's something to consider if you're abit of an overthinking introvert."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

"A club will be best, maybe a party, if it's a really good one.

But, we'd say club, every time. It's so much easier to go at your own pace, just play together, while watching others, or just chat in sexy surroundings.

I would defimeately say don't do a couples private meet. You might get nervous, might not like them as much as you thought, not be in the mood etc etc.

Whatever you do, keep it fun and right for you x"

At club you can just watch and play with each other, if you feel like it, so no pressure.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *reenleavesCouple
over a year ago

North Wales

Clubs for sure!

Our first time, we had the goal of getting through the door, having a drink and chatting to someone. It ended up with us naked in the hot tub and then having a play together in a private room.

If you just want to go, have a drink and a look around then that's totally something you can do. Talk about what you've seen and then go from there!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

"Clubs for sure!

Our first time, we had the goal of getting through the door, having a drink and chatting to someone. It ended up with us naked in the hot tub and then having a play together in a private room.

If you just want to go, have a drink and a look around then that's totally something you can do. Talk about what you've seen and then go from there!

this every time.

It makes it so much easier to go at your own pace, or adapt to your mood on the night.

Like mentioned, you can come away and chat about what you saw and thought, and then maybe say, yes, next time we'll give that a go, if we are both up for it on the night.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Clubs are a good way to meet people without any pressure to play.

The alternative is having a social meet first. Even now when meeting couples we always ask for a social in a quiet pub so that we can essentially check them out and they like wise. Hopefully there will be a mutual attraction and things progress but it does allow you walk away at the end of the evening if things are not to your liking.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread