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Loss of confidence

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hi all. I have been on fab on and off for years. Have had some great meets and normally i am pretty self confident and cheerful. Just lately and I had dawned on me it has been ongoing for a few months I have lost almost all of my self confidence and self esteem. I am also tending to shy away from company at work. I am sure I am not the only one going through this. I just wondered how people pulled through these troughs x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

You sound a bit low. I usually keep my head down until the feeling passes and try to treat myself well. Walks outside, chats with good friends etc. If you feel too bad see your doc.

Feel well soon.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get out in the sunshine when you can. Lack of Vit D can affect our moods. Also the exercise will help.

Be kind to yourself and realise those things you want can be things you deserve. But be realistic, we don't always get what we deserve through any fault of our own. Just work towards what you can provide for yourself and be proud of the effort you put in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You sound a bit low. I usually keep my head down until the feeling passes and try to treat myself well. Walks outside, chats with good friends etc. If you feel too bad see your doc.

Feel well soon."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Come off the site for a while i say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I usually cheer myself up with shoes.

Retail therapy really works for someone as shallow as me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a poster above said, make sure you get out when the weather isn't bad, this time of year vit D is hard to get, so maximise daytime sunlight, maybe get some Vitamin D supplements.

Do you suffer from SAD? I know I do, the way I combat it is by using supplements and ensuring each meal is packed full of nutrients, minimise the crap in your diet.

Maybe try and get to the gym, or swim, do something that gets your blood pumping, hormonally it will help, you'll sleep deeper, and it kills an hour or two to keep your mind of stuff.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aaw you defo sound low hun. I go through periods of lacking self confidence - sometimes Ive no idea why either ( as in no specific incident sparked it off )

I have a counsellor I speak with now and again and I find my hour session clears my mind and restarts my happiness. I pay £40 an hour session and located mine from the accredited lists you can search for on the internet xx

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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago

Wherever the party is!


"Hi all. I have been on fab on and off for years. Have had some great meets and normally i am pretty self confident and cheerful. Just lately and I had dawned on me it has been ongoing for a few months I have lost almost all of my self confidence and self esteem. I am also tending to shy away from company at work. I am sure I am not the only one going through this. I just wondered how people pulled through these troughs x"

Personally, I hide my profile when feeling low then show it again when I'm ready to face the world!

When I'm feeling really down I get myself banned from the forums.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No idea how people pull through, I even get panicky at the thought of socials at the moment. I’ve decided to let my demons win and just avoid them. No idea if I’ll ever get over it, not convinced at the moment I will.

Good luck

Mrs F x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks for your kind posts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Feeling a bit the same. Hopefully just a case of winter blues

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By *icked weaselCouple
over a year ago

Near Edinburgh..

Some Medications people are on can cause Depression.. Severe Depression. !!

Hubby was almost Suicidal as a result of his pain medication..

Feeling better now he is of this medication..

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

I think 'winter blues' are worse for some people than others.

OP Google Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great advice from all above.

If none of it helps then consider talking to your GP, possibly suffering from depression? Good luck OP. X

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By *iss GalitzineWoman
over a year ago

Near Bath

Definitely exercise. Not always easy when you don't feel up to much but I doubt you will come back from a walk wishing you hadn't. If you like animals maybe volunteer at the local dogs home and walk a few dogs. Hope you feel better x

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By *antsguy007Man
over a year ago

Whiteley

I go through the same op - real life can be stressful sometimes.

I take my profile down and try to eat better and work out abot - walk, swim, cycle to release endorphins and help me sleep better.

Takes a wee while but helps in the long run.

Guid luck op

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This has just happened to me and I lost the one I wanted on here because of it. I think the best thing to do if you're feeling low or not confident is to avoid writing anything here as once you've said it it cannot be taken back. Attend socials get talking and you will find your confidence will return. Good luck OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Get out in the sunshine when you can. Lack of Vit D can affect our moods. Also the exercise will help.

Be kind to yourself and realise those things you want can be things you deserve. But be realistic, we don't always get what we deserve through any fault of our own. Just work towards what you can provide for yourself and be proud of the effort you put in."

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By *ookingfunfun78Man
over a year ago

wellingborough

The time of year dosnt help. The body is busy fighting of colds etc.

Problem with work colleagues is we often spend more time with them than our own families.

I know its easier said than done, but I would recomend getting a bit active, natural andorphines work wonders. Im not talking hitting the gym hours at a time, just a bit of walking or cycling, realy can make a big differance.

Fingers crossed for ya.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

It’s not just confidence in meeting playmates. It’s the general low self worth which is hard to handle. Determined to stay off meds as had issues with Valium and anxiety last year. Maybe I should visit a club soon which I have always found to be relaxing

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"It’s not just confidence in meeting playmates. It’s the general low self worth which is hard to handle. Determined to stay off meds as had issues with Valium and anxiety last year. Maybe I should visit a club soon which I have always found to be relaxing"

Have you tried yoga? The relaxation element of it can really help calm you down.

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By *iss GalitzineWoman
over a year ago

Near Bath

I have been doing yoga for panic attacks. I can highly recommend it.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I have been doing yoga for panic attacks. I can highly recommend it. "

I do it to keep myself flexible but the relaxation is a lovely side effect. I think its beneficial in many ways.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi all. I have been on fab on and off for years. Have had some great meets and normally i am pretty self confident and cheerful. Just lately and I had dawned on me it has been ongoing for a few months I have lost almost all of my self confidence and self esteem. I am also tending to shy away from company at work. I am sure I am not the only one going through this. I just wondered how people pulled through these troughs x"

I'm going through the same myself and I'm putting through winter blues.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sun beds (Vitamin D) and exercise (releases endorphins) that usually does the trick for me - M

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On here I sometimes get a bit on a complex as not many people reply so I think im ugly.

Most times I dont care what ppl think.

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East


"On here I sometimes get a bit on a complex as not many people reply so I think im ugly.

Most times I dont care what ppl think."

That's understandable. No one likes rejection obviously. But we can't please everyone.

Someone pm'ed me in regards to a comment I made on a music thread. We had a brief chat. She then sent me a face pic. I sent one back out of courtesy. Deleted and never heard back! I was happy just chatting music but after that I logged and stayed off for a day. I hadn't even thought about meeting them but it rattled me. Came back on and got on with things. You have to.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"On here I sometimes get a bit on a complex as not many people reply so I think im ugly.

Most times I dont care what ppl think."

You're not ugly, let's get that straight. None of us is to everyone's taste and you're part of the largest group on here. I can imagine how frustrating it is for single men and that you would ask yourself why you're not getting replies. It is down to sheer weight of numbers.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"On here I sometimes get a bit on a complex as not many people reply so I think im ugly.

Most times I dont care what ppl think.

That's understandable. No one likes rejection obviously. But we can't please everyone.

Someone pm'ed me in regards to a comment I made on a music thread. We had a brief chat. She then sent me a face pic. I sent one back out of courtesy. Deleted and never heard back! I was happy just chatting music but after that I logged and stayed off for a day. I hadn't even thought about meeting them but it rattled me. Came back on and got on with things. You have to."

I think it's easy to forget there's a real person behind the message

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford


"It’s not just confidence in meeting playmates. It’s the general low self worth which is hard to handle. Determined to stay off meds as had issues with Valium and anxiety last year. Maybe I should visit a club soon which I have always found to be relaxing"

Ah, bless you. Go and do something you really enjoy and yes a nice walk is good for all off us. Good luck, hopefully you'll bounce back soon!

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