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"He was a total timewaster OP, when we used to meet guys for MMf (only use clubs now) we’d always meet in a pub first for a social, a few no shows but most guys genuine and up for it will have no issue with a social first. Block this idiot with prejudice though " Thanks tbh it caught us a bit off guard we weren't expecting it and up to then had enjoyed chatting. | |||
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"We prefer to meet at ours even for socials much more relaxing and find the conversation flows not to every ones taste but an option." This might work with us one day but we have kids and it's easier to get babysitters and go out than it is to ship kids away. Plus for the same reason we are very careful about who we'd invite back.... | |||
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"We’ve done socials at pubs a few times and at the other couples houses as we can’t host very often due to the kids so we never really know the places we are going but haven’t been stood up yet think we been quite lucky. We find a social is a good way of breaking the ice and getting to know the other couples. We have also met and played on the same night and found them to not be as rewarding as a second met senario. Can’t say when we have met in a pub we have been worried about being over heard as the conversations don’t tend to be overly sexual and it’s reasonably easy to be discrete in a busy pub." Do wonder if maybe we were just being a bit paranoid about being overheard. The pubs weren't that busy etc. But do agree we prefer second meet.. | |||
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"It's not fair call the guy a time waster though he might be feeling he was messed about too." Totally understand this....it wasn't at all the perfect scenario. | |||
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"If it's a social meet in a pub, what's the problem with his adult daughter possibly seeing him? He could say you were friends from work, old school friends, etc. Pick a pub like wetherspoons next time, normally big enough to find a quiet corner, and not exclusively full of local people. " | |||
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"I like a social in a coffee shop or quiet pub .i think its important to have stayed in touch with running upto the meet .if someone didnt stay in touch or conversation wasnt flowing then i wouldn't meet them for social. There is alot of men on here who just get off with chatting and pic swapping .so op maybe he was one of those type " Agree with this. Up to then we'd been chatting as a group daily. Even in car on way etc | |||
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"We’ve done socials at pubs a few times and at the other couples houses as we can’t host very often due to the kids so we never really know the places we are going but haven’t been stood up yet think we been quite lucky. We find a social is a good way of breaking the ice and getting to know the other couples. We have also met and played on the same night and found them to not be as rewarding as a second met senario. Can’t say when we have met in a pub we have been worried about being over heard as the conversations don’t tend to be overly sexual and it’s reasonably easy to be discrete in a busy pub. Do wonder if maybe we were just being a bit paranoid about being overheard. The pubs weren't that busy etc. But do agree we prefer second meet.." I guess the risk of being heard is always a possibility, probably because we’ve met in pubs miles ways from where we live we weren’t concerned that we may have been heard but can’t say we had any graphic conversations either | |||
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"We recently had an experience that left a bit of a sour taste. Chatted to a guy for a while, agreed to meet for social, he asked that we meet out of town so as not to bump into his daughter on a night out. We didn't know any of the pubs outside of town but picked one on Google and said if it wasn't suitable we'd keep in touch via message to say and try one down the road. Booked babysitters, got tarted up....Arrived at pub and it was full of locals the place went quiet when we walked in!! didn't have any quiet tables out of the way...so we moved to another pub down the road, messaged and sent photo of the pub.... He replied with 'car park full, not happy, going home for a beer' and then accused us of messing him about eventually telling us he was sat in a towel enjoying a beer implying he never left the house in the first place. The tone changed then he said he didn't like meeting in pubs, wasn't happy we'd stood him up and messed him about, hadn't communicated etc. In hindsight we should have chosen a place we'd been before but he'd requested places out of the way.... We've been lucky met 3 guys that never did this and it's our first time anything bad has happened. It won't put us off think we'll take the often said advice of going to a club and we are glad we found out what he was like before we'd ended up in bed!! but it was our first social in a pub.... Want to ask you lot, is it normal to expect some banter/chat and a social first? If you do socials where do you find works well that allows for a natter without being overheard?" 1st of all he sounds a wankstain, or married My socials are usually, in a pub or coffee bar in the centre of Birmingham or local to me. failing that chams or xtasia | |||
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"We’ve done socials at pubs a few times and at the other couples houses as we can’t host very often due to the kids so we never really know the places we are going but haven’t been stood up yet think we been quite lucky. We find a social is a good way of breaking the ice and getting to know the other couples. We have also met and played on the same night and found them to not be as rewarding as a second met senario. Can’t say when we have met in a pub we have been worried about being over heard as the conversations don’t tend to be overly sexual and it’s reasonably easy to be discrete in a busy pub. Do wonder if maybe we were just being a bit paranoid about being overheard. The pubs weren't that busy etc. But do agree we prefer second meet.. I guess the risk of being heard is always a possibility, probably because we’ve met in pubs miles ways from where we live we weren’t concerned that we may have been heard but can’t say we had any graphic conversations either" Don't expect graphic either! We'd have normally just picked a place not far from us that we'd been to before. That said had we travelled it would have been more of a pain it not working out! We've learnt a few lessons I think! | |||
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"We’ve done socials at pubs a few times and at the other couples houses as we can’t host very often due to the kids so we never really know the places we are going but haven’t been stood up yet think we been quite lucky. We find a social is a good way of breaking the ice and getting to know the other couples. We have also met and played on the same night and found them to not be as rewarding as a second met senario. Can’t say when we have met in a pub we have been worried about being over heard as the conversations don’t tend to be overly sexual and it’s reasonably easy to be discrete in a busy pub. Do wonder if maybe we were just being a bit paranoid about being overheard. The pubs weren't that busy etc. But do agree we prefer second meet.. I guess the risk of being heard is always a possibility, probably because we’ve met in pubs miles ways from where we live we weren’t concerned that we may have been heard but can’t say we had any graphic conversations either Don't expect graphic either! We'd have normally just picked a place not far from us that we'd been to before. That said had we travelled it would have been more of a pain it not working out! We've learnt a few lessons I think!" Every meet, social or conversation is a learning curve just block him and forget him and it won’t be long before you have a new date arranged your profile is lovely | |||
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"..... but then last minute changes of venue could be viewed suspiciously too." Totally agree with this, we were aware of it and not really comfortable that we hadn't had chance to check first, we were chatting on messenger the whole.time and also sent photos in the hope that we could prove we weren't messing about. We had also discussed the fact we didn't know what to expect. I think the lesson we've taken is to check first or choose somewhere more central that we know! | |||
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"I always have a social first in a pub I know well and feel safe and comfortable in. " | |||
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"..... but then last minute changes of venue could be viewed suspiciously too. Totally agree with this, we were aware of it and not really comfortable that we hadn't had chance to check first, we were chatting on messenger the whole.time and also sent photos in the hope that we could prove we weren't messing about. We had also discussed the fact we didn't know what to expect. I think the lesson we've taken is to check first or choose somewhere more central that we know!" Actually thinking about it a bit more, if you were constantly messaging and he was driving....how? I think if it was me, you'd previously explained you may have to change venue and would constantly update if so, that wouldn't be a problem. It's something you had discussed beforehand so it could be expected. I might think I was being messed around if I was told it was a change of venue at the alloted time. I guess the obvious question is....was the car park full? | |||
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"..... but then last minute changes of venue could be viewed suspiciously too. Totally agree with this, we were aware of it and not really comfortable that we hadn't had chance to check first, we were chatting on messenger the whole.time and also sent photos in the hope that we could prove we weren't messing about. We had also discussed the fact we didn't know what to expect. I think the lesson we've taken is to check first or choose somewhere more central that we know! Actually thinking about it a bit more, if you were constantly messaging and he was driving....how? I think if it was me, you'd previously explained you may have to change venue and would constantly update if so, that wouldn't be a problem. It's something you had discussed beforehand so it could be expected. I might think I was being messed around if I was told it was a change of venue at the alloted time. I guess the obvious question is....was the car park full? " Busy but not full. It might have been debatable.... Two of us. One driving the other messaging. The messages all said read, and he replied. | |||
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"I always have a social first in a pub I know well and feel safe and comfortable in. " | |||
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"..... but then last minute changes of venue could be viewed suspiciously too. Totally agree with this, we were aware of it and not really comfortable that we hadn't had chance to check first, we were chatting on messenger the whole.time and also sent photos in the hope that we could prove we weren't messing about. We had also discussed the fact we didn't know what to expect. I think the lesson we've taken is to check first or choose somewhere more central that we know! Actually thinking about it a bit more, if you were constantly messaging and he was driving....how? I think if it was me, you'd previously explained you may have to change venue and would constantly update if so, that wouldn't be a problem. It's something you had discussed beforehand so it could be expected. I might think I was being messed around if I was told it was a change of venue at the alloted time. I guess the obvious question is....was the car park full? Busy but not full. It might have been debatable.... Two of us. One driving the other messaging. The messages all said read, and he replied." That's what I meant. How was he replying if he too was driving? | |||
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"OP the fact the locals all went quiet when you walked in makes me think he was at the pub and he'd told his mates that Swingers were coming. " Lol. Love this. In hindsight what did it matter really! One of the lessons we learnt. We like to be discreet but there's a point at which paranoia about it is just silly. | |||
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"..... but then last minute changes of venue could be viewed suspiciously too. Totally agree with this, we were aware of it and not really comfortable that we hadn't had chance to check first, we were chatting on messenger the whole.time and also sent photos in the hope that we could prove we weren't messing about. We had also discussed the fact we didn't know what to expect. I think the lesson we've taken is to check first or choose somewhere more central that we know! Actually thinking about it a bit more, if you were constantly messaging and he was driving....how? I think if it was me, you'd previously explained you may have to change venue and would constantly update if so, that wouldn't be a problem. It's something you had discussed beforehand so it could be expected. I might think I was being messed around if I was told it was a change of venue at the alloted time. I guess the obvious question is....was the car park full? Busy but not full. It might have been debatable.... Two of us. One driving the other messaging. The messages all said read, and he replied. That's what I meant. How was he replying if he too was driving? " Intermittently. We had no reason to think he was lying. Until he told us 10 mins after he said he was at the pub that he was in a towel with a beer....it wasn't a hotel. | |||
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"We insist on a social first to see if theres attraction between us all. We have just gone to a quiet pub nearby and never had any problems or met at a social event. Sounds like he was looking for an excuse not to turn up op.Dont let that stop you enjoying a social meets in future. .miss" On my single & couple profile i always insist on a meet in neutral territory. I find perso ality a great attraction & prefer to judge it clothed so i can concentrate on seeing it before anyone is naked.. LMP | |||
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"We insist on a social first to see if theres attraction between us all. We have just gone to a quiet pub nearby and never had any problems or met at a social event. Sounds like he was looking for an excuse not to turn up op.Dont let that stop you enjoying a social meets in future. .miss On my single & couple profile i always insist on a meet in neutral territory. I find perso ality a great attraction & prefer to judge it clothed so i can concentrate on seeing it before anyone is naked.. LMP" Same here that’s why we think social will help! | |||
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"I tried running Peterborough socials a few years ago was a success became popular then moved them to tease which is sadly now closed wouldn't mind starting them back up for 2018 x" What are the most local clubs now tease is closed? | |||
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"Once met a woman for a social in her car during my lunchtime, she drove up and was eating a sausage wrapped in a bit of tinfoil. Going for the sexy look obviously " Lol | |||
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"Once met a woman for a social in her car during my lunchtime, she drove up and was eating a sausage wrapped in a bit of tinfoil. Going for the sexy look obviously " Maybe it was like a colourful metaphor! | |||
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"We prefer to meet at ours even for socials much more relaxing and find the conversation flows not to every ones taste but an option." I wouldn’t have a social at someone’s house tbh! I’d far rather meet in a public place! To me it’s about being safe until you decide that they’re ‘safe’, who they say they are etc! | |||
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"You should have met in the pub car park Then all walked in together. Not sure why you've made things so difficult ..its only a social " Agree with this to a point, one of the things we've learnt from the whole experience. Don't mind meeting in the pub thou! | |||
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"We prefer to meet at ours even for socials much more relaxing and find the conversation flows not to every ones taste but an option. I wouldn’t have a social at someone’s house tbh! I’d far rather meet in a public place! To me it’s about being safe until you decide that they’re ‘safe’, who they say they are etc! " | |||
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