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Guys playing alone

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By *ea_Coffee OP   Couple
over a year ago

Near Kettering

We have seen a few conversations about this and thought it would be interesting to share our current situation and get some insight into peoples thoughts.

So after more than a year of enjoying this site and the lifestyle the wife has suggested that I can open a singles account and pursue some independent meets

I know some people will wondering why so here are our reasons.

1. This was a big supprise to her but when we first started playing she found that she was very turned on watching me play with other women (more so than she expected) and in theory she gets just as arroused at the idea of me meeting others and then telling her what has happened.

2. Diffrent drives. Yes I know alot of guys claim they are hard done by and seek a bit of sympathy but thats not really my point here. I have a wonderful wife who treats me exceptionally well and explores lots of different things with me, but and yes there is a but we both acknowledge that we have diffrent sexual drives and mine is a little higher than hers. We of course both make efforts to please each other but an occasional meet with a FWB could level out those drives a little whilst providing a bit excitement re point number 1.

3. It not all about sex. We both enjoy the club scence and the social interactions we have at them. But and yes there is another but again lol, despite beleiving that as our kids grew up and moved on to live their own lives we would have more free time to pursue our hobby have found the opposite is true. We are often asked to babysit grandchildren or help out with whatever is important to them at that time. Our club nights have become more a luxury than a regular event. She loves to babysit the grandkids and has suggested I should go out every now and then with friends in the lifestyle. Not necesarilly for sex but for the chance to get after a week at work while she enjoys time with the grandkids watching the Disney films and playing games with them.

So thats our situation and we will still pursue this lifestyle together as a couple but my question is will this arrangement put potential partners off meeting.

Couples would you still consider meeting like this? Do you have a similar situation yourselves and how well does it work?

Single ladies would this situation cause you to avoid a meeting with me? There is no cheating here and everything has been discussed with the wife.

I would add that in the intrest of transparency the wife would be willing to chat briefly with a potential partner(s) to confirm this via phone, webcam or private mesage.

Thoughts and oppinions welcomed good and bad.

Any advice regarding my profile is humbly received my singles profile ie coffee_2_sugars

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will be keeping an eye on this one cos I'm in a similar position and haven't had much luck so far...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My wife and myself have our own profiles but we also have a couples one, we mainly play alone purely down to availability, sometimes we both can’t meet at the same time so just one of us will, it works for us and as you say, peoples sex drives are different, the Mrs is taking a break from meeting at their moment but I’m not actively looking to meet either, I prefer the social side at the moment so just really networking and going to socials is all I’m interested in right now.

Good luck with your single profile.

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east

Woohoo a thread i can answer through experience ..myself and good lady wifey (also on here with single account) have been meeting solo aswell as a cpl for several years ..it works for us at first i thought she would be meeting far more than me but that wasnt the case much more a 50/50 split so yes there are fems willing to meet ..the only drawback for us is the inability to accomodate other than that it has been a fabulous experience

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By *ea_Coffee OP   Couple
over a year ago

Near Kettering

Thanks for the replies so far, its encouraging to know that were not the only ones doing things this way.

Keepings fingers crossed the replies remain possitive.

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By *acavityMan
over a year ago

Redditch

Better to have a single account (which can include a note about the joint profile) than appear to be a fab-couple, where, strangely, the female is always unavailable but doesn't mind the male playing alone.

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By *lighty1Woman
over a year ago

You Dont Need to Know, right now

Sorry OP, but your arrangement with your wife (admirable though it is) WOULD put me off meeting with you. I only meet single men, and there are thousand and thousands of single men on here. I prefer to meet the ones who are as free as I am, rather than having to consider the feelings of a third (absent) person.

Some people may say I'm selfish, and I do not intend to criticise your choices in any way. It just wouldn't work for me, to think that a meet is mentally checking his watch for what time he needs to be home. Also, I don't want a man to recount details of our sexual adventures to his 'significant other'.

Sorry!

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By *ornylittlesubWoman
over a year ago

Grangemouth

I would never meet just the guy from a couples profile, but if they had their own profile, then that might be a diff story!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If there was attraction I would meet regardless. Those women that refuse to meet playaways might find it a faff to chat to your Mrs to verify the fact you’re allowed tho

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sorry OP, but your arrangement with your wife (admirable though it is) WOULD put me off meeting with you. I only meet single men, and there are thousand and thousands of single men on here. I prefer to meet the ones who are as free as I am, rather than having to consider the feelings of a third (absent) person.

Some people may say I'm selfish, and I do not intend to criticise your choices in any way. It just wouldn't work for me, to think that a meet is mentally checking his watch for what time he needs to be home. Also, I don't want a man to recount details of our sexual adventures to his 'significant other'.

Sorry!"

Very much this for me too. I don't want my meet to be discussed with someone else.

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east

I fully respect peoples choices to meet who they want ..different strokes for different folks as they say.. but what i would say is not all couples discuss with each other what happens on meets or has to clock watch i know myself and temptress dont do either

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By *ea_Coffee OP   Couple
over a year ago

Near Kettering


"Sorry OP, but your arrangement with your wife (admirable though it is) WOULD put me off meeting with you. I only meet single men, and there are thousand and thousands of single men on here. I prefer to meet the ones who are as free as I am, rather than having to consider the feelings of a third (absent) person.

Some people may say I'm selfish, and I do not intend to criticise your choices in any way. It just wouldn't work for me, to think that a meet is mentally checking his watch for what time he needs to be home. Also, I don't want a man to recount details of our sexual adventures to his 'significant other'.

Sorry!"

Your reply is appreciated and I understand your response.

I would not want my meets to be overly discused with others so I get your point but I also have a partners feelings to consider too. It would be rude and awkward for example if my Wife ask's me how I got on with my meet and I was to reply I can't discus it. It would feel like a violation of trust between us. I of course would not consider discusing it with anyone else as a matter of discrection.

As for clock watching again It would feel rude to uncomfortable if a partner was to keep looking at their watch. I guess there will times it may happen but ultimatly I would not want to make anyone feel uncomfortable and would keep my timekeeping as discreet as possible.

Thanks for the comments x

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By *ea_Coffee OP   Couple
over a year ago

Near Kettering


"If there was attraction I would meet regardless. Those women that refuse to meet playaways might find it a faff to chat to your Mrs to verify the fact you’re allowed tho "

Hi Lusty Kitten and thank you for the positive comments.

The chat with the wife was meant only as option if the ladie I was planning on meeting wanted to.

I have seen a lot of post's on here from ladies who have stated that they would not want to meet married or attached guys that were cheating. I thought this might encourage those ladies to make contact and not be concerned with causing any unecesary pain to any innocent parties.

Chat with wife is optional lol

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Have been in a similar situation for a year now, where we both have solo profiles as well as the couples one and do play separately as well as together.

There will be some who will meet you and some that won't OP - same as any other preference to be honest.

It sounds like you've given it a lot of thought and have your reasons clear and an agreement between you both. A few other things worth mentioning:

- Put a cross-reference in each profile to the other(s) and make your situation clear - I've yet to have anyone ask to talk to my partner (although the fact she is active here with her own profile may account for that a little).

- Is your wife also going to have a solo profile and are you OK with that if so? Or would you be if she decided to have one?

- You need to be clear between you what your boundaries are and stick to them completely when meeting - if they need to be pushed, don't do so without first discussing (and agreeing!) it with your wife.

- If you do both have solo profiles and both play separately - anything that applies for one half should equally apply to the other, unless you have both agreed otherwise.

Hope it works out for you both

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

luton

If we want solo meet we still put it on our couples profile.opening a new account just looks suspicious

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are happy to meet guys who are playing solo but part of a couple on here in the position you're in. Cross referencing the profiles and them both/all being active helps.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had our first experience in a club 2 years ago. Had lots of great meets and been lucky enough that all the single guys we have met have all been respectful and a good laugh. I am enjoying doing this now and again but the best thing about it is Mr. He picks the meets and takes the lead and he's been spot on every time. If he wanted to stop at any time I would do it in a heart beat without a second thought. He is way more important than an added extra in our sex life. Can't believe people have put swinging before long term serious relationships x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a single lady, I'd have no issue meeting someone like you and have done with men in similar positions. Would be happy for you to share the experience with your wife.

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By *ea_Coffee OP   Couple
over a year ago

Near Kettering


"Have been in a similar situation for a year now, where we both have solo profiles as well as the couples one and do play separately as well as together.

There will be some who will meet you and some that won't OP - same as any other preference to be honest.

It sounds like you've given it a lot of thought and have your reasons clear and an agreement between you both. A few other things worth mentioning:

- Put a cross-reference in each profile to the other(s) and make your situation clear - I've yet to have anyone ask to talk to my partner (although the fact she is active here with her own profile may account for that a little).

- Is your wife also going to have a solo profile and are you OK with that if so? Or would you be if she decided to have one?

- You need to be clear between you what your boundaries are and stick to them completely when meeting - if they need to be pushed, don't do so without first discussing (and agreeing!) it with your wife.

- If you do both have solo profiles and both play separately - anything that applies for one half should equally apply to the other, unless you have both agreed otherwise.

Hope it works out for you both "

Thanks for the advice, I will cross reference the profile as this has been sugested by a few people.

The wife does not want her own her own profile, I don't want to speak for her but when we have spoke about this she has said she is happy with our current situation. As in the original post she she doe have a slightly lower sex drive than me and has said she get whats she feel she wants and desired with the way things are.

If she ever wanted a single profile I guess we will discus it then but I cannot see it being a problem for me.

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By *ea_Coffee OP   Couple
over a year ago

Near Kettering

I am listening but I don't understand "what exactly looks suspicious"?

One reason I opened the single account was to keep the couples and the singles meet verifications seperate to stop our couples profile from looking like we arrange meets as a couple and then only 1 turns up.

Also as in the opening statement the wife is prepaired to confirm our agreement to any potential meet.

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By *ea_Coffee OP   Couple
over a year ago

Near Kettering

Will cross reference them today

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By *ea_Coffee OP   Couple
over a year ago

Near Kettering

[Removed by poster at 07/11/17 06:39:21]

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By *ea_Coffee OP   Couple
over a year ago

Near Kettering

[Removed by poster at 07/11/17 06:39:51]

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By *ea_Coffee OP   Couple
over a year ago

Near Kettering


"As a single lady, I'd have no issue meeting someone like you and have done with men in similar positions. Would be happy for you to share the experience with your wife. "

Hi Rosie thanks for the positive comments and WOW love the pics. The wife does too and says with a naughty grin maybe that could be a couples meet she looks nice.

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

We use our couples profile, that way we can both see the coomunication going on. I used to meet alone (Ms), I don't any longer as Mr watching is a turn on for us both. I also like watching him with others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We suddenly found ourselves in a similar position to yourselves, this weekend.

Out of the blue whilst at the club on Saturday, Niki told me she'd be quite happy with me having a meet with, or going off with a couple, on my own, though she wasn't too sure about the same with a single female.

I was totally suprised by this and we had a good chat about it, she wasn't interested in meeting alone, but liked the idea of me doing so.

I've decided it's not something I want to do, partly because I'm not sure I like the idea of her doing the same, and even though she's not interested in doing so, I'd still feel selfish.

The main reason being though, we very much got into this together, to experience the scene together and see each other enjoying themselves with others.

And whilst we don't judge couples who do meet separately, I've never quite got my head around that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But the look of it there are lots of couples in the same places.. we play together and solo..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

By

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My husband and I have separate profiles. We started off meeting as a couple but decided we prefer to meet alone. It works very well for us. And we both really enjoy meeting others on our own.

Neither of us has been asked to verify this to potential meets but both of us would be more than happy to do so.

Communication is the key. And sticking to boundaries that you both agree on.

X

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