FabSwingers.com forum: How to start?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi,

I've been on this site a while but never really made an effort due to several reasons. I've been through several posts where people have got help with their profile and used their advice. Now I'm wondering if I could do anything to improve mine and the main point how do start a conversation effectively? I've tried chat up lines and the was just cringey and all I'm stuck with is just "hey x" so anyone fancy helping me?

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By *orkie321bWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

I would suggest having another look at the profile advice threads.

At the moment yours is pretty sparse and doesn't tell us much about you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would suggest having another look at the profile advice threads.

At the moment yours is pretty sparse and doesn't tell us much about you."

Thank you, I will, I just find it hard to write about myself haha but I will think about what more I can add

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By *idalgo13Man
over a year ago

Near York

Hi S,

It is difficult for single guys...do read the threads and if given advice by the groups or individuals you are wishing to meet...take the advice...act on the advice.

You look an attractive chap, so maybe a couple of other photos..no cock pics, poss body shots etc. You say you know what you want but don't say what it is, more detail and if possible shine some of your personality through the text of your profile.

There are a large number of threads on profiles and messages, read them become a student of them and remember...patience.

H x

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By *idalgo13Man
over a year ago

Near York

"I would suggest having another look at the profile advice threads.

At the moment yours is pretty sparse and doesn't tell us much about you."

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hi S,

It is difficult for single guys...do read the threads and if given advice by the groups or individuals you are wishing to meet...take the advice...act on the advice.

There are a large number of threads on profiles and messages, read them become a student of them and remember...patience.

H x"

Cheers H,

that was really hopeful. In all honesty Im not expecting someone to want to meet straight away but at the same time I wouldn't mind just chatting and getting to know people but I will definitely expand on what I've said.

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By *idalgo13Man
over a year ago

Near York

Also you could try socials....I know the nerves kick in (been there) single guy arriving at a social....but you genuinely meet some brilliant people at those type of events, just a social, no pressure, just good company and laughter...Grimsby to Hull...an hour's travel...just a thought?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yeah I've been considering socials for a while but just need to balls out and go to one, I have updated my main profile hopefully thats better just need to add a few more photos.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah I've been considering socials for a while but just need to balls out and go to one, I have updated my main profile hopefully thats better just need to add a few more photos."

Your very cute but very young x

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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago

Wherever the party is!

"Yeah I've been considering socials for a while but just need to balls out and go to one, I have updated my main profile hopefully thats better just need to add a few more photos.

Your very cute but very young x"

Well...that's how it works I'm afraid...

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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago

Wherever the party is!

"Yeah I've been considering socials for a while but just need to balls out and go to one, I have updated my main profile hopefully thats better just need to add a few more photos."

So you're not sure how to present yourself with words and too shy to rock up to a social.

So how do we go about getting you to make actual physical contact with a woman?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Christt I’m getting old. You don’t look 21 to me.

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

You look gorgeous and very young.

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

"Christt I’m getting old. You don’t look 21 to me.

Typical fab user, posting old pics

Profile looks OK, a few more pictures OP, and please don't send a message that just says "hi" because most people will ignore it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Christt I’m getting old. You don’t look 21 to me.

Typical fab user, posting old pics

Profile looks OK, a few more pictures OP, and please don't send a message that just says "hi" because most people will ignore it"

But I am frickin old!

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By *lceeWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I have to say, I auto delete any message that is just ‘hey x’.

There’s a balance between cringey and hey. Read their profile, see what they are into. Talk about stuff you might have in common. Self deprecating humour always works well with me. Tailor your message to that specific girl.

It’s hard to give advice on messages without seeing the profile you want to talk to.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Looks like you may have already made a few changes since you first posted OP so good on you for taking the advice on board (lots don't

) - I'd say as it currently stands it's not bad but does read like a lot of other single guy profiles on here so maybe try and get some of your own personality across to stand out a little more.

I'd also remove the "chunky (not fat not skinny)" line as that reads a little negatively - but maybe add some more body pics so people can decide for themselves if there's a physical attraction.

As well as clubs and socials maybe get more involved in the forums which is a great way to get to know people and spark conversations.

As for messages just be yourself, as others have said pick things out of the person you are writing to's profile to comment on - tell them a little more about you by expanding on points in your profile etc.

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Make sure you read profiles if we get a message that straight away u can tell they have not even glanced at what profile says won't be interested in meeting...also like messages to show a bit of humour and good way to show both is by picking part of the profile that you can use for a bit of cheeky humour but not to cheeky lol .miss k

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I don't reply to messages that just say "hey x" and doubt many (if any) women will.

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By *iss_Samantha_LovecockTV/TS
over a year ago

bmth /poole sometimes blandford

as previously mentioned .. go to a club..its so much easier to get to meet genuine swingers

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you to everyone that commented, I do plan on following the advice given, and I appreciate what everyone has put. To answer a few things,

1) clubs to me seem to have clicks like everywhere and its easy to get intimidated by that plus its easy to meet a couple or a single person than to walk into a room full of people.

2) I admit the picture is old but only by a year or two

3) I will remove that line thank you

4) I will post more body pictures (I did have dick pics on here but after some advice I moved them to private)

5) I do read profiles but I will start pulling something out of their profile to start the conversation

again thank you everyone who has given me advice.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

From my profile..

ADVICE FOR NEWBIES

This section is especially for you singles and couples that feel the urge to pm me and ask for advice etc, now you don't have to it's all here for you!

1. Read FAQ section, particularly the part about no reply, no interest, it's not considered rude. Do not bother with the Sydney university shit on your profile, it means nothing.

2. Work on your profile: decent pics and a good bio, tick interests. Put a profile pic on.

3. Get photo verified, particularly important if you are a couple or single female.

4. Get cam verified to start, you can go into the cam rooms and ask someone to help you with this. Couples must both be on at the same time.

5. Read a profile before messaging, it's polite.

6. Read existing forum threads on profile advice, some very good ones.

7. Post your own thread to ask for feedback.

8. Act on said advice.

9. Go to local socials/clubs, meet people in public places.

10. Lastly, enjoy your time on fab!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Put up more pics!! You are so cute though I think I would!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

u look so young that could be the reason there are no much cougars here lol

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By *lighty1Woman
over a year ago

You Dont Need to Know, right now

If you're nervous about going to a social on your own, try getting yourself known in the chat rooms first. That way, when you do go to a social, you will know some of the people who are going to be there, and you won't feel so alone.

Also, I'm a bit uncomfortable about your detailed description of what YOU would like from a dom/sub relationship. I have no personal experience of the dom/sub world, but I think you might need to do a bit more research on what a sub would need and expect FROM you.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

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By *idalgo13Man
over a year ago

Near York

Hi S,

Remember to take the advice from people you seek.......you mention in your profile about being confident yet you are nervous about going to a social..find a social in say...Hull, message the host..be honest and say you want to meet liked minded people and see what it brings. What have you to lose!

You and I are at different end of the swinging spectrum..age wise but the same things apply...patience = reward. Action (profile and message wise) = reward. Courage = reward. Assumption is the mother of all problems...go to a social if it is a clique, scrub it off your bucket list but at least you have tried...although I have to be honest the ones I have been to have been a delight..genuinely, lots of laughter and great company but I get the fact I am a lot older than you....

Sub/Dom isn't my kink but I think finding a sub at your age may possibly be unlikely...

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

"If you're nervous about going to a social on your own, try getting yourself known in the chat rooms first. That way, when you do go to a social, you will know some of the people who are going to be there, and you won't feel so alone.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do."

Perfectly put, a sub is really in charge of the sub /dom situation.

Your Profile looks a lot better now and some really good advice

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