FabSwingers.com forum: New starters

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hello.

Good day to you all. My hubby and I have been here a little while now and he has decided we can try swinging.

Soft at first then try properly. So far we have had one experience of this and hubby got upset and jealous.

I have voiced my concerns about all this but I am worried.

What would your advice be for new starters? Have you ever had experiences similar with jeaulosy ECT?

What would your advice to really enjoy the scene be ?

Thanks guys

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To not. A little jelousy can add to the excitement/experience but if he is getting upset and jelaous then it may not be for him xx keep talking. Neither of you do anything that makes you feel unhappy x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Talk talk talk.......communication is key...jealously will pop up occasionally but talking it through...be honest and about what you desire from it. Have fun xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi. Thank you. That's what I keep saying but he doesn't want to stop because he likes the lady side of it for him

Just not sure if I'm being selfish?? X

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Talk talk talk.......communication is key...jealously will pop up occasionally but talking it through...be honest and about what you desire from it. Have fun xxx"

Thank you. We certainly try.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Communication and mutual fulfillment is key. As mentioned above a little jealousy is fine but if he cannot reconcile his feelings then he is not a swinger. Also your opening sentence was that he decided you could swing. This is a decision that must be made by both of you.

Find out what made him jealous and work from there.

Dxxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Communication and mutual fulfillment is key. As mentioned above a little jealousy is fine but if he cannot reconcile his feelings then he is not a swinger. Also your opening sentence was that he decided you could swing. This is a decision that must be made by both of you.

Find out what made him jealous and work from there.

Dxxx "

Thank you x

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Sounds like you guys need to talk some more OP - as others have said jealousy can and does rear it's head at all sorts of times when you least expect it.

It does however sound like there may be some double standards at play here though - you say he gets jealous of you but doesn't want to stop "because he likes the lady side of it for him"

That in itself raises an eyebrow - and apologies if I've misunderstood - but sounds to me like he's happy to get what he can out of this, but isn't happy for you to do so?

If you're both playing (i.e. it's not a cuckold or Hot Wife situation) it should always be what applies to one, applies to the other and that you agree boundaries that you BOTH agree with.

Either way communication really is the key here, with a huge dose of openness and honesty, topped off with a level of reassurance in both directions when it's called for.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sounds like you guys need to talk some more OP - as others have said jealousy can and does rear it's head at all sorts of times when you least expect it.

It does however sound like there may be some double standards at play here though - you say he gets jealous of you but doesn't want to stop "because he likes the lady side of it for him"

That in itself raises an eyebrow - and apologies if I've misunderstood - but sounds to me like he's happy to get what he can out of this, but isn't happy for you to do so?

If you're both playing (i.e. it's not a cuckold or Hot Wife situation) it should always be what applies to one, applies to the other and that you agree boundaries that you BOTH agree with.

Either way communication really is the key here, with a huge dose of openness and honesty, topped off with a level of reassurance in both directions when it's called for.

Thank you very much. Certainly needs a lot of talking about And thinking through xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also, most of the time jealousy comes from a place of insecurity rather than possession.

Find out what is making him insecure.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Also, most of the time jealousy comes from a place of insecurity rather than possession.

Find out what is making him insecure."

He is worried that I will like other men's you know what's better than his. I have the same fears about him and the ladies he just can't seem to make a connection x

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"Also, most of the time jealousy comes from a place of insecurity rather than possession.

Find out what is making him insecure.

He is worried that I will like other men's you know what's better than his. I have the same fears about him and the ladies he just can't seem to make a connection x"

There's no easy way round that other than pointing out that he's the one you go home with and cuddle up with in bed with at the end of the night. In other words reassurance

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He is worried that I will like other men's you know what's better than his. I have the same fears about him and the ladies he just can't seem to make a connection x"

This is a common insecurity and the one most likely to break you up.

Humans like novelty and contrary to our programming we are sexual omnivores. In the heat of sex with a new person there will be excitement because it is new. But different is not better, just different. Speak to people who engage in polygamous relationships, learn about after care (not just for BDSM) and remind each other why you are together in the first place.

Lust is not love and sex is amazing because it is sex.

Just because you or your partner has an orgasm with someone else doesn't mean you all of a sudden can't have one with your partner.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

not everyone is cut out to swing as a couple you need to be 100% into each other in everyway openness and talk loads there's no room for jelousy of any amount in swinging as it will just consume both or one of you in the end ...we've been doing this nearly 20 yrs and have seen many couples split up just because they dont talk and share thoughts as said its not for everyone..... married 20 years swinging 20 years and not one Ounce of jelousy anywhere good luck op and talk talk and more talk

ps this is just our thoughts and many others will think different and thats right cause thats life ..lol before anyone jumps on what we've said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi. Thank you. That's what I keep saying but he doesn't want to stop because he likes the lady side of it for him

Just not sure if I'm being selfish?? X"

I would say this is not a reason to swing, swinging is about sharing and allowing each other to enjoy the experience, it's not about letting your partner have sex with someone else just so you can,

Watching your partner should be as e citing as been involved with someone else,

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"Hi. Thank you. That's what I keep saying but he doesn't want to stop because he likes the lady side of it for him

Just not sure if I'm being selfish?? X"

Sorry, he likes the lady side of it?? If he doesn't like you playing you should both reassess being on here, both of you need to be happy with things, good luck x

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By *nufflesCouple
over a year ago

Near Stevenage

We are very new to the scene her had two meets both single guys first one was to be all about wife to see if she would like it. Ideally wanted couple but the way I set up profile I did point to being fake. Anyway we git a single m and I was concerned that I might get jealous for two reasons one the guy we(I say we it was me who arranged) arranged was bigger than me (which is not difficult) and I was not sure if I would join in or not. I ended up just watching and was fully clothed. When I seen how much she had relaxed and was enjoying herself I relaxed and just let it happen. Since then our sex life has got way better and as others have said as ling as you are both open with each other then there should be no problem. If it becomes a problem I would say take a break as its meant to be fun for everyone involved. I believe marriage/relationships are for love making and swinging is for sex socials and getting pleasure in ways you cant please each other as long as everyone is happy with boundaries. K will not give oral to anyone as shes doesn't enjoy it does it to me as we are married and tolerates it but would happily let someone else give me oral as I really enjoy it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hello. Thank you all so much for your help and advice. Lots to think on and discuss.

Thank you

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