FabSwingers.com forum: Stealthing

By *ldhillhotwife OP Couple
over a year ago

Old Hill

Read a article yesterday about this but seemed to suggest this was a growing problem.

Never had it done to me but wondered if anyone else in the UK had this happen to them?

We ask the guys to make sure it doesn't roll down and come off midplay. Condoms do break and we accept that risk (implant).

Would the police take action?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone tried doing it to us in Chams a couple of years back. There was a fairly quick end to the play session on that occasion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not the same thing but I had a guy I was seeing regularly lie about having a vasectomy for months to get out of using a condom.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best put it on yourself If in a club or not with your partner .I trust nobody but myself .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had it happen to me a couple of years ago, guy not on here. It was a stressful 3 months, morning after pill, immediate testing and other tests at 3 months. No action during that time.

Do people report men for doing this in clubs? I would hope so and that it results in a ban!

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By *inkySeeKinkyDoWoman
over a year ago

'tween PontyCarlo & CasVegas in West Yorks

It's very much a thing in clubs, and much harder when you're a single fem with no husband looking out for you as you can't actually feel a condom whilst you're fucking.

My advice, ride em cowgirl style and tie their hands above their heads then you can be sure its staying on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If in doubt, keep him in view at all times. Stealthing is a disgusting thing to do, deserve to have it cut off as to me it constitutes the r word.

Rant over

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

Stupid on the man's part really, he has no idea what anyone is carrying.

If it was done to use I'd be tempted to pass some remarks about still waiting for a second test to confirm. Give him a few sleepless months.

There are basically some crap people walking about who care not a jot about anyone else.

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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

"If in doubt, keep him in view at all times. Stealthing is a disgusting thing to do, deserve to have it cut off as to me it constitutes the r word.

Rant over "
this is what wiki leaks guy is accused of removing the condom with out consent is a chargable offence in sweden

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By *itvclaireTV/TS
over a year ago

Birmingham

Had it happen to me in a club a few years back. Only time it's ever happened though, and I realised before he had a chance to do anything.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm reading this and more thinking its about getting someone pregnant other than it being just to get spunk inside.

I can never fathom the thought...being a broody 41 year old with only one attachment(my cat lol)...sad I know..but I certainly wouldnt ever stoop to something so low..if an 'accident' did happen..I'd relish the choice of being a parent, but respect the choice to not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The act of “stealthing” legally amounts to sexual assault with an aggravating factor, and in some cases could be charged as r@pe with an aggravating factor.

Any man doing this or even thinking of doing this sort of thing really needs to take a step back and look at themself.

If I ever found myself in this situation I would report it both to the club immediately and to the police!

Although I have played BB in the past, that is my choice at the given time, not a choice I want removed from me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Stupid on the man's part really, he has no idea what anyone is carrying.

If it was done to use I'd be tempted to pass some remarks about still waiting for a second test to confirm. Give him a few sleepless months.

There are basically some crap people walking about who care not a jot about anyone else. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not the same thing but I had a guy I was seeing regularly lie about having a vasectomy for months to get out of using a condom."

I'm not sure how a vasectomy is a reason not to use a condom...

pregnancy is the least of your worries with unprotected sex surely?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not the same thing but I had a guy I was seeing regularly lie about having a vasectomy for months to get out of using a condom.

I'm not sure how a vasectomy is a reason not to use a condom...

pregnancy is the least of your worries with unprotected sex surely? "

"pregnancy is the least of your worries" ??????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds a pretty fucked up thing to happen. Never heard of it happening before untill I saw on here a couple months ago.

I've had a rubber tear and that was panic enough.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not the same thing but I had a guy I was seeing regularly lie about having a vasectomy for months to get out of using a condom.

I'm not sure how a vasectomy is a reason not to use a condom...

pregnancy is the least of your worries with unprotected sex surely?

"pregnancy is the least of your worries" ??????

Well yea, compared to gonorrhoea, syphilis and aids, I'd say it was lower down on the list

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not something I would want to do. I've met a person and part way through both of us wanted to take the condom off but never without explicit permission.

Remember hearing something about guys using vaseline purposely as a lube for this reason years ago. Apparently it destroys the condom.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not the same thing but I had a guy I was seeing regularly lie about having a vasectomy for months to get out of using a condom.

I'm not sure how a vasectomy is a reason not to use a condom...

pregnancy is the least of your worries with unprotected sex surely? "

Wasn't a one off they didn't know and reading between the lines trust had been established. My wife used to sleep with her ex without a condom who told her he couldn't have kids. They broke up and few months later she was quite surprised when the test said she was pregnant...

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By *ldhillhotwife OP Couple
over a year ago

Old Hill

C gives my playmates the condoms where they aren't already on... I hope that is suggestion enough that the fuck requires safe play? Or should I be implicitly telling them myself?

Sort of spoils the mood.

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By *ldhillhotwife OP Couple
over a year ago

Old Hill

"Not the same thing but I had a guy I was seeing regularly lie about having a vasectomy for months to get out of using a condom.

I'm not sure how a vasectomy is a reason not to use a condom...

pregnancy is the least of your worries with unprotected sex surely?

To give a woman a unwanted pregnancy or a STI is a shitty thing to do. The life long commitment to a child or the memories of an abortion... unfathomably cruel.

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By *eanut Butter CupWoman
over a year ago

B & M Bargains

"I'm reading this and more thinking its about getting someone pregnant other than it being just to get spunk inside.

How many women have done this, lied about being on the pill to get knocked up. Wonder if anyone thinks that is stealthing?

I've barebacked in the past (I don't make a habit of it though) and afterwards said to the guy, how do you know I'm on the pill? They said they just presumed.

If I was a guy and I didn't want kids I'd sure as hell be covering up!

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

In the usa at the moment there is a lobby to make doing this an act of xxxx. So you could get locked up for it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Slightly different but its amazing how many guys turn up for sex without condoms, on this site and others its been me thats given them condoms to put on!

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

"Slightly different but its amazing how many guys turn up for sex without condoms, on this site and others its been me thats given them condoms to put on!"

Its a good test to see whether or not your swinging partner is as safe as they claim to be..

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

"Not the same thing but I had a guy I was seeing regularly lie about having a vasectomy for months to get out of using a condom.

I'm not sure how a vasectomy is a reason not to use a condom...

pregnancy is the least of your worries with unprotected sex surely?

"pregnancy is the least of your worries" ??????

Well yea, compared to gonorrhoea, syphilis and aids, I'd say it was lower down on the list "

Risk is a matrix of impact and likelihood.

Whilst aids has a huge physical health impact its likelihood is low. Pregnancy has high likelihood and high mental health impacts as it will have been due to sexual assault. Other stds are lower impact and mixed likelihood.

So you can see why pregnancy is a big worry in comparison.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In the usa at the moment there is a lobby to make doing this an act of xxxx. So you could get locked up for it."

That would be good but how the hell could anyone prove it happened? It's even less likely to get to court than xxxx.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

"In the usa at the moment there is a lobby to make doing this an act of xxxx. So you could get locked up for it.

That would be good but how the hell could anyone prove it happened? It's even less likely to get to court than xxxx."

Hey, i never said it was my idea.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Slightly different but its amazing how many guys turn up for sex without condoms, on this site and others its been me thats given them condoms to put on!"
we always provide our own anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In the usa at the moment there is a lobby to make doing this an act of xxxx. So you could get locked up for it.

That would be good but how the hell could anyone prove it happened? It's even less likely to get to court than xxxx.

Hey, i never said it was my idea."

I didn't say it was.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We fell out with someone on here for many reasons.. the fact he did this being one of them.. We avoid now but do wonder if he's still doing it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you serious?

Men purposly remove there condom or pretend theyve put one on and purposly fuck you without protection? WHY THE HELL?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are you serious?

Men purposly remove there condom or pretend theyve put one on and purposly fuck you without protection? WHY THE HELL?!"
yup. I once dragged a guy by his balls through a club for doing so. First time I gave him the benifit of the doubt that it had just slipped off. But caught him removing it the 2nd time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are you serious?

Men purposly remove there condom or pretend theyve put one on and purposly fuck you without protection? WHY THE HELL?! yup. I once dragged a guy by his balls through a club for doing so. First time I gave him the benifit of the doubt that it had just slipped off. But caught him removing it the 2nd time. "

Thats a disgrace not only can you catch or pass on things you have a chance of getting several women pregnant in clubs that you dont even know. Why? Why? Why?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The act of “stealthing” legally amounts to sexual assault with an aggravating factor, and in some cases could be charged as r@pe with an aggravating factor.

Any man doing this or even thinking of doing this sort of thing really needs to take a step back and look at themself.

If I ever found myself in this situation I would report it both to the club immediately and to the police!

Don't be afraid to tell the police. It is sex without permission.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""pregnancy is the least of your worries" ??????

Well yea, compared to gonorrhoea, syphilis and aids, I'd say it was lower down on the list "

No, just no. Please educate yourself about the different STI, what they are and how they are treated or managed.

AIDS is not an STI, HIV is the STI. Syphilis and Gonorrhea are both fully treatable the same as any bacterial infection.

Pregnancy is not lower down on the list, it a perfectly valid concern and totally life changing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not the same thing but I had a guy I was seeing regularly lie about having a vasectomy for months to get out of using a condom.

I'm not sure how a vasectomy is a reason not to use a condom...

pregnancy is the least of your worries with unprotected sex surely?

To give a woman a unwanted pregnancy or a STI is a shitty thing to do. The life long commitment to a child or the memories of an abortion... unfathomably cruel.

Sx"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Several people have asked "why would a guy do this".

Simple - because he doesn't give a sh!t about the woman he's having sex with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""pregnancy is the least of your worries" ??????

Well yea, compared to gonorrhoea, syphilis and aids, I'd say it was lower down on the list

No, just no. Please educate yourself about the different STI, what they are and how they are treated or managed.

AIDS is not an STI, HIV is the STI. Syphilis and Gonorrhea are both fully treatable the same as any bacterial infection.

Pregnancy is not lower down on the list, it a perfectly valid concern and totally life changing."

So because they are treatable that's OK? Syphilis can go undetected for months and can leave you infertile.. But that's OK... Or is this gonorrhoea? Don't know, il just go and educate myself a little more shall I

Your perception of how unserious an sti can be is concerning.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

"Several people have asked "why would a guy do this".

Simple - because he doesn't give a sh!t about the woman he's having sex with."

That and sex feels better without a condom for a man.

There are lots of very selfish people around who really don't give a fuck about people they don't know. So your stealther has a random meet in a club, wants a good experience for himself and cares naught for a woman he will most likely never see again.

As for the risk to him, the risk of hiv is very low for the man in vaginal sex and anything else is treatable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Several people have asked "why would a guy do this".

Simple - because he doesn't give a sh!t about the woman he's having sex with.

That and sex feels better without a condom for a man.

As for the risk to him, the risk of hiv is very low for the man in vaginal sex and anything else is treatable. "
let's face it it feels better for women too. I hate sex with a condom but won't for obvious reasons. And yes it's less risk for the guy than the girl.

If say it's a very common thing...

Don't think the police could do much about it as it would be a he says she says thing

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By *iamond coupleCouple
over a year ago

leeds

"Slightly different but its amazing how many guys turn up for sex without condoms, on this site and others its been me thats given them condoms to put on!"
. If the guy doesn't have a condom he must have had no intention of covering up. If he is doing this with me he must have been bareback with others so I would not offer him a condom I would offer him the door.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That and sex feels better without a condom for a man.

It feels better without a condom for a girl too.

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By *abulously curiousCouple
over a year ago

manchester

Omg I'm shocked that this a real thing. What would the man gain?? Sneaky bastards

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By *orkie321bWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

"Slightly different but its amazing how many guys turn up for sex without condoms, on this site and others its been me thats given them condoms to put on!. If the guy doesn't have a condom he must have had no intention of covering up. If he is doing this with me he must have been bareback with others so I would not offer him a condom I would offer him the door. "

I would do the same. Any man who turns up to a play meet or a club without condoms won't be getting his cock wet with me.

I always have condoms but won't tolerate guys who are obviously looking for bareback.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Seen a guy try it at a club. Idiotic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's disgusting that this happens.

I've seen guys in clubs turn up without condoms. One time I even gave a guy one so he could play. It's these guys that create a risk that doesn't need to be there. Should cary a prison sentence.

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By *inful xWoman
over a year ago

In a sleepy little village

Had someone try this on me last year. He didn't get far as luckily I was paying attention

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By *lirty-CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Bexley

Another reason we never meet alone. If anyone did that to Mrs Flirty there'd be big trouble!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only trust yourself and your partner (if you have one with you). Bring your own condoms so you know you're safe.

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By *heeriskingMan
over a year ago

Stockport

Had a request from a hubby whilst having fun to sneak the condom off. That was never going to happen. I didn't say anything to his wife after but to highlight it may not always be the bloke joining couples that is the idiot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whilst i hate condoms (as their a pain in the ass to put on) i hate the idea of potentially catching a life changing sti more so wouldnt want to be playing with a stranger without one and i certinly dont want to be getting somone im not in a relationship with pregnant.

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By *uited staffs guyMan
over a year ago

staffordshire

"Not the same thing but I had a guy I was seeing regularly lie about having a vasectomy for months to get out of using a condom.

I'm not sure how a vasectomy is a reason not to use a condom...

pregnancy is the least of your worries with unprotected sex surely?

"pregnancy is the least of your worries" ??????

Well yea, compared to gonorrhoea, syphilis and aids, I'd say it was lower down on the list "

The mortality rate from pregnancy is well higher than any of those so I’d say pregnancy should be high on the list

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

"Not the same thing but I had a guy I was seeing regularly lie about having a vasectomy for months to get out of using a condom.

I'm not sure how a vasectomy is a reason not to use a condom...

pregnancy is the least of your worries with unprotected sex surely?

"pregnancy is the least of your worries" ??????

Well yea, compared to gonorrhoea, syphilis and aids, I'd say it was lower down on the list

The mortality rate from pregnancy is well higher than any of those so I’d say pregnancy should be high on the list "

Not sure why you're arguing about the 'ranking' of consequences and how you feel that you or anyone knows best how impactful to her life any one of them is to a woman. Consent to accept any or all of those risks listed is the be all and end all, it's a violation, the choice has been taken away from the woman.

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By *lirty-CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Bexley

"Not the same thing but I had a guy I was seeing regularly lie about having a vasectomy for months to get out of using a condom.

I'm not sure how a vasectomy is a reason not to use a condom...

pregnancy is the least of your worries with unprotected sex surely?

"pregnancy is the least of your worries" ??????

Well yea, compared to gonorrhoea, syphilis and aids, I'd say it was lower down on the list

The mortality rate from pregnancy is well higher than any of those so I’d say pregnancy should be high on the list

It's a truly vile thing to do to anyone and those who do it ought to be treated as lepers. It ought to be a criminal offence and I expect sooner or later a case will come to court and be successfully prosecuted so those inclined to behave in this manner beware!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its simple really. Stealthing is Illegal and a crime (Fab will not permit the R*** word). If consent to intercourse is only given on the basis of a condom being worn, not to wear one is intercourse without consent.

So, if he takes it off, consent is automatically withdrawn and bareback sex becomes illegal. If a guy does this in a club you must immediately collect the names of witnesses and call the police. That may help stamp out stealthing....

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By *uited staffs guyMan
over a year ago

staffordshire

"Not the same thing but I had a guy I was seeing regularly lie about having a vasectomy for months to get out of using a condom.

I'm not sure how a vasectomy is a reason not to use a condom...

pregnancy is the least of your worries with unprotected sex surely?

"pregnancy is the least of your worries" ??????

Well yea, compared to gonorrhoea, syphilis and aids, I'd say it was lower down on the list

The mortality rate from pregnancy is well higher than any of those so I’d say pregnancy should be high on the list

The point wasn’t that a specific ‘ranking’ is fixed and my view is the ultimate arbiter of that, more that pregnancy isn’t a minor consequence and can, and does, in some cases have significant heath issues associated with it and shouldn’t be dismissed as a minor occurrence

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By *rnortholtMan
over a year ago

Waveney Valley

""pregnancy is the least of your worries" ??????

Well yea, compared to gonorrhoea, syphilis and aids, I'd say it was lower down on the list

No, just no. Please educate yourself about the different STI, what they are and how they are treated or managed.

AIDS is not an STI, HIV is the STI. Syphilis and Gonorrhea are both fully treatable the same as any bacterial infection.

Pregnancy is not lower down on the list, it a perfectly valid concern and totally life changing.

Your perception of how unserious an sti can be is concerning. "

Maybe the poster thought an STI was less of an issue because this was their regular partner? That's how I read their post anyhow.

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Stealthing - UK scene.