FabSwingers.com forum: Come down

By *addiesgirl84 OP Woman
over a year ago

liverpool

Im a hotwife, hubby isnt involved anymore, but he always shared me etc... I just feel the comedown after ive been fucked a lot worse these days, anyone feel the same?

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By *aptain VMan
over a year ago

Birstall, Leicester

"Im a hotwife, hubby isnt involved anymore, but he always shared me etc... I just feel the comedown after ive been fucked a lot worse these days, anyone feel the same?"

How often do you have sex

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By *rightonCheekyMan
over a year ago

Brighton

I've occasionally experienced this feeling after an exceptional meet, elation followed by a mild comedown that's lasted a day or so. Hard to describe really.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get this everytime. Especially if the guy goes Awol after promising things. Im on a come down now, i dont understand why i feel so rubbish for a couple of days

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get this after a really good meet, a sort of lost, empty feeling.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is not something we have experienced to be honest, but then we have each other afterwards so I suppose it makes it easier

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By *avidandjaneukCouple
over a year ago

Canterbury

I feel like this a day or two after a meet or club night. Thought it was just me!

Jane x

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By *j48Man
over a year ago

Wigan

Would it not be because he's not involved?

Part of the scenario is missing..

Just a thought x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm on a bit of a come down now after sleeping with someone a couple of days ago and having no idea how he feels about what happened though he seemed really happy at the time, and then I just fret he has regrets but I'm really hoping for round 2. I guess with me it's just not knowing what comes next and I am unable to see or contact him until Monday.

Ginger

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By *addiesgirl84 OP Woman
over a year ago

liverpool

thank you for the replies, seems im not alone?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely not alone. Depending on who I'm with and what's happened, I can feel quite like this for a day or two. It's definitely likened to a comedown. I just try to take it easy, not overthink things, and know it will passsoon x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get like this sometimes but generally only if the guy starts being a bit distant/funny with me when I speak to him after wards.

Tend to just move along and leave him to it, life is too short to let people affect your mood so much

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's all down to the neurotransmitters in the brain. I'm not an expert but you've probably had a huge huge high due to dopamine (pleasure/reward) and then need oxytocin (nurture/loving) to compensate for the drop.

Be kind to yourself, indulge in "me time" or get your partner to give you aftercare.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have to agree with those that say it's a chemical imbalance following a particularly high "High".

If you really don't like the feelings then you could ask your GP about SSRI's as these help control mood swings - but hopefully you'll be able to repeat the experiences, just don't get addicted to it!!

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By *lue9753Man
over a year ago

Oldham

Best topic on fab foe a long time very interesting reading

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've really started to feel this after a good meet.

I need the after bit, the reassurance I guess?

I find it really difficult to have little or no contact after.

One reason I've hidden my profile!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to get like this if im regularly meeting someone or its kink.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My last meet was very "fuck and go", which I tend to avoid but it's just how it worked out. Thought we got on but there's been very little contact since so I've been feeling shit about it since. I know I need to shake it off but I just can't seem to this time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My last meet was very "fuck and go", which I tend to avoid but it's just how it worked out. Thought we got on but there's been very little contact since so I've been feeling shit about it since. I know I need to shake it off but I just can't seem to this time "

I wont do fuck n gos for that reason

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By *addiesgirl84 OP Woman
over a year ago

liverpool

i used to get off feelng used like that, but now its getting to me if that makes sense

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i used to get off feelng used like that, but now its getting to me if that makes sense"

Is it the husband isn’t involved and something is missing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i used to get off feelng used like that, but now its getting to me if that makes sense"

Maybe you got off because you were used but your man was there after to give you the hugs and support. Maybe future meets have a cuddle in bed after and try and avoid fuck and go meets.

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By *lceeWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Yeah, I’ve had the come down feeling - never really understood why. Feel totally boss for a few hours, then bummed out.

Had a lot of practice with this with subdrop, after a decent session. I think it’s your dopamine and adrenaline levels returning to normal. You need to make sure that they either stay to bring you down out of it, sleep through it or organise to meet friends after to allow them to normalise more steadily.

Brain chemistry for the win! *rolls eyes*

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

There is a NLP method called anchoring that can help a lot with this type of feeling.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i used to get off feelng used like that, but now its getting to me if that makes sense"

If it makes you feel bad , stop, re-evaluate and chat to your husband.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have to agree with those that say it's a chemical imbalance following a particularly high "High".

SSRIs do NOT control mood swings. They are anti depressants you'd need to take for depression.

Benzodiazepines are more likely to be prescribed for acute (short term) agitation caused by mood swings, but would a GP prescribe something for this? I imagine it would depend on severity of symptoms. GPs are becoming more holistic (patient centred), and as such may suggest natural ways to alter temporary, disturbing hormonal/ neurotransmitter drops within the brain.

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By *ungBlackTopMan
over a year ago

salford

OMG why are you medicalising it? It's just called guilt. It will pass as soon as it came (no pun intended). Give it a few more sessions and you'll be fine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Following

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OMG why are you medicalising it? It's just called guilt. It will pass as soon as it came (no pun intended). Give it a few more sessions and you'll be fine."

All emotions are the result of brain chemistry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OMG why are you medicalising it? It's just called guilt. It will pass as soon as it came (no pun intended). Give it a few more sessions and you'll be fine."

Not sure it's guilt as single people get it. It's the buzz of a great time which can end abruptly. You hang onto it and want it again but you can't. In a few of these posts, the lack of contact afterwards makes it worse.

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By *achiatoMan
over a year ago

Fife

Had this recently when playing with a couple, the sexual chemistry between me and female partner was electric. Had never experienced this before and left the meet on a natural high and totally charged with energy. Now feel that I had reached a pinnacle never to be repeated and that future meets will fail to live up to that special meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

intimate contact, its a human trait to attach emotion to it. fuck and go will have the majority feeling like that to an extent. unless that's all you have ever known.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think Fab in itself is just a whirlwind of emotion. You think you've found a decent guy, you know there's chemistry, he's really keen, you're really keen, the social goes amazingly well, keep in constant contact for the next week and then he disappears. You're left feeling like you can't trust your own instinct. Or you sleep with an incredibly hot guy but struggle to communicate your needs and get the feeling he isn't bothered either way. Or you keep speaking to guys who say they understand you're not just wanting sex and know you aren't into sexting etc but then the next day will start sending dirty messages. Your husband desperately wants to find a couple to play with but you just don't find any couples who you find attractive so are continually having to apologise to your husband for turning down yet another couple that he's spent time building a rapport with.

All of these are recent scenarios for me and all of them have left me with a feeling in the pit of my stomach that doesn't seem to shift. I am not enjoying Fab at the moment but I continue in the hope that I will find what i'm looking for because I know how amazing it will be when I do!

You're not alone, there are so many variables with what people want from Fab that it can be tricky to meet everybody's expectations. I think you have to hang on for the good time and put the bad times down to experience (as long as it's nothing serious like you getting hurt).

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By *acavityMan
over a year ago

Redditch

In the fetish world, this is discribed as 'sub drop'.

Generally the advice is to provide after care.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"OMG why are you medicalising it? It's just called guilt. It will pass as soon as it came (no pun intended). Give it a few more sessions and you'll be fine."

Wow, on a swingers site, calling guilt, sometimes reevaluating beliefs and values much explain why ypu are on the site.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"OMG why are you medicalising it? It's just called guilt. It will pass as soon as it came (no pun intended). Give it a few more sessions and you'll be fine.

Wow, on a swingers site, calling guilt, sometimes reevaluating beliefs and values much explain why ypu are on the site."
must or is that musth....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OMG why are you medicalising it? It's just called guilt. It will pass as soon as it came (no pun intended). Give it a few more sessions and you'll be fine."

What utter nonsense. Guilt? How do you come to that conclusion?

Ms Cupcake has the right idea

And educated, informed sensible response

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All sounds very cold if you ask me. I guess its the down side of this whole swinging thing. Interesting though! Swinging has many pros and cons. I also would love to meet a woman who i could share this adventure with...but its still yet to happen. But then again maybe im better off not bothering as being along im safe and cannot be hurt emotionally. So many trains of thought, wonder and what ifs!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OMG why are you medicalising it? It's just called guilt. It will pass as soon as it came (no pun intended). Give it a few more sessions and you'll be fine.

What utter nonsense. Guilt? How do you come to that conclusion?

Ms Cupcake has the right idea

And educated, informed sensible response"

Aw shucks ta lovely

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By *sThunderThighsWoman
over a year ago

Toy Land

Ohh thought it was just me who got this! Feels a little better knowing it's not! I only feel it if it goes flat after (to be honest this is usually me who makes that happen tho) if I haven't got anyone I'm interested in to chat with and arrange something else . Or the people I am chatting with either are slow at pushing for that social meet or just trying for sexting and photo sending ... Like someone said it's a very interesting thread tho! X

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By *addiesgirl84 OP Woman
over a year ago

liverpool

its similar to sub drop, just seems longer lasting x

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By *ishopstippleMan
over a year ago

Purley

Sub drop is due to hormone rush and subsequent depletion. Its different from what I think your experiencing. I wonder if your emotions are getting in the way. Swinging is about NSA sex. Its just (hopefully) a good fuck. If your looking for something more then you will experience these feelings. One thing this lifestyle has taught me is sex and luv are very different things. Casual sex is fucking. Making love is not NSA SEX. Time to reset your headspace?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sub drop is due to hormone rush and subsequent depletion. Its different from what I think your experiencing. I wonder if your emotions are getting in the way. Swinging is about NSA sex. Its just (hopefully) a good fuck. If your looking for something more then you will experience these feelings. One thing this lifestyle has taught me is sex and luv are very different things. Casual sex is fucking. Making love is not NSA SEX. Time to reset your headspace?"

Well said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get this after a really good meet, a sort of lost, empty feeling.x"

Yup yup. I can really identify with this, it is something I've always struggled with.

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