FabSwingers.com forum: Delicate erections

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Struggling to phrase this question so bear with me:

Being brutally honest, I've had a few meets where the guy's erection has been short lived and elusive. In some cases we've played past it and continued to have a lot of fun, met again and it hasn't been an issue. In other cases, despite me wanting to continue play, it has become a 'thing' resulting in us not meeting again. In almost every one of those cases I would very much have liked to see the person again and it has left me feeling crappy that they wouldn't give it another go, using the benefits of the knowledge gained during the first meet. Whilst I appreciate they didn't feel great about it, it leaves me feeling unsexy and like I really didn't do it for them.

So, guys, my question is: if it happened to you, how would you like a partner to handle it? I tend to increase kissing, closeness and oral attention and make it clear I'd like to continue playing.

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By *otwife CoolhubCouple
over a year ago

Bathgate

Each guy knows their tolerance to this with a new partner. This is always psychological and has happened on a meet with me, so very frustrating.

Blue pills are freely available and a small price to pay for disappointment.

Guys need to take responsibility.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Struggling to phrase this question so bear with me:

So, guys, my question is: if it happened to you, how would you like a partner to handle it? I tend to increase kissing, closeness and oral attention and make it clear I'd like to continue playing."

Your turning them on too much!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Each guy knows their tolerance to this with a new partner. This is always psychological and has happened on a meet with me, so very frustrating.

Blue pills are freely available and a small price to pay for disappointment.

Guys need to take responsibility.

Mr"

Not by taking pills.

What if she wasn't doing it for him/them? Should they meet her again out of pity, to save her feelings?

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By *oredShitlessxxxCouple
over a year ago

luton

Viagra all the way..... Mr tends to over do it though (sometimes) randy fooker then ends up going for days

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Each guy knows their tolerance to this with a new partner. This is always psychological and has happened on a meet with me, so very frustrating.

Blue pills are freely available and a small price to pay for disappointment.

Guys need to take responsibility.

Not by taking pills.

What if she wasn't doing it for him/them? Should they meet her again out of pity, to save her feelings?"

Gee thanks! You don't spare anyone's feelings do you!!

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By *orthern BeardMan
over a year ago

Preston

I've only had this happen twice in my life and both times it was with two of the hottest women I've ever been with. With one I just flipped her over and ate her ass for half an hour and then suddenly it happened.

The other time she got all weird about it.

Usually I'm worried about cumming to quick, pills aren't always the answer

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Not by taking pills.

What if she wasn't doing it for him/them? Should they meet her again out of pity, to save her feelings?"

And it seems to me that's the point of phone calls and socials, so that we have established whether the connection is there before the clothes come off...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've only had this happen twice in my life and both times it was with two of the hottest women I've ever been with. With one I just flipped her over and ate her ass for half an hour and then suddenly it happened.

The other time she got all weird about it.

Usually I'm worried about cumming to quick, pills aren't always the answer"

That's why I like to continue to play, because it can come back if everyone relaxes. What could she have done for you that would have helped you out?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Viagra all the way..... Mr tends to over do it though (sometimes) randy fooker then ends up going for days

Haha! Do you have to phone in sick?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think lots of people think an erection is something you switch on and off and that men are ready to go 100% if the time but actually, I think if time is spent figuring out what works for that person and turns them on they're likely to be less anxious and not have erection issues. Because I think it could mostly be down to performance anxiety (personally)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Difficult situation. Look at it from his point of view. He's going to be more than a little embarrassed by the situation. Meeting again is going to make him even more nervous, nerves make it even more likely to happen again.

If it happens a second time, it's worse for both of you, so I can see why he wouldn't want to meet you again.

Had it myself a few times after a vasectomy. It wasn't long before I didn't want sex at all because it all got embarrassing. A couple of blue pills (not at the same time) got things kick started and not had any issues since.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Struggling to phrase this question so bear with me:

So, guys, my question is: if it happened to you, how would you like a partner to handle it? I tend to increase kissing, closeness and oral attention and make it clear I'd like to continue playing."

Watching with interest x

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By *oredShitlessxxxCouple
over a year ago

luton

"Viagra all the way..... Mr tends to over do it though (sometimes) randy fooker then ends up going for days

Haha! Do you have to phone in sick?"

No... but i tend to waddle like a duck at work after

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

"Struggling to phrase this question so bear with me:

So, guys, my question is: if it happened to you, how would you like a partner to handle it? I tend to increase kissing, closeness and oral attention and make it clear I'd like to continue playing."

Exactly as you put in the last paragraph. Nerves can strike at any time. Relaxing is the best way to overcome them. I'ts happened to me on one occasion even though I was riduculously horny. Occasionally ones chap just refuses to play ball.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

These are really helpful perspectives, thank you, and making me feel a little less crappy about my 'allure'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I understand it can happen, I am lucky, what happens with me sometimes is I keep erect but can't Cum I explain and keep going and let them enjoy only thing is you have to be fit lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I understand it can happen, I am lucky, what happens with me sometimes is I keep erect but can't Cum I explain and keep going and let them enjoy only thing is you have to be fit lol"

Yeah - see I'm not fit, but that's what the social is for..a chance to say 'thanks but no thanks'.

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By *otwife CoolhubCouple
over a year ago

Bathgate

"Each guy knows their tolerance to this with a new partner. This is always psychological and has happened on a meet with me, so very frustrating.

Blue pills are freely available and a small price to pay for disappointment.

Guys need to take responsibility.

Not by taking pills.

What if she wasn't doing it for him/them? Should they meet her again out of pity, to save her feelings?"

Judging by her photos I don’t think she’s any worries on that count.

My point remains though that guys have to take responsibility and if they don’t think someone is for them then they can choose not to play. It’s usually the situation rather than anything else.

Thanks for your valuable contribution though

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"I understand it can happen, I am lucky, what happens with me sometimes is I keep erect but can't Cum I explain and keep going and let them enjoy only thing is you have to be fit lol

Yeah - see I'm not fit, but that's what the social is for..a chance to say 'thanks but no thanks'."

I think he meant physically fit (to be able to keep going with his erection, for longer periods because he struggles to climax), rather than you being attractive

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By *uicy72Woman
over a year ago

North Colchester

"These are really helpful perspectives, thank you, and making me feel a little less crappy about my 'allure'."

I don't think you have anything to worry about yourself at all !

You look a very sexy lady

I'd defo put it down to performance anxiety as some have said ........

men can get so turned on so quick at times and this can have the opposite effect to what both parties want !!!

probably sub consciously intimidated their manhood

This happened to me before and the guy was really embarrassed I assured him it was ok x

He has still messages me several times apologising and wanted to meet again !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nerves is the main thing I've found and especially in a MMF scenario or playing in a club. Some guys just can't perform in front of others. Others will walk around all night with a hard Cock. Every guy is different and so is every situation x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they don't want to meet again then you have to accept that and respect their decision.

I don't see it any party doing anything wrong. Sometimes people just don't have sexual chemistry or something isn't quite working on the day. Who knows? Maybe they are too embarrassed to meet again and chance it happening again.

I would have thought that's the great thing about sex and no relationship?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I understand it can happen, I am lucky, what happens with me sometimes is I keep erect but can't Cum I explain and keep going and let them enjoy only thing is you have to be fit lol

Yeah - see I'm not fit, but that's what the social is for..a chance to say 'thanks but no thanks'.

I think he meant physically fit (to be able to keep going with his erection, for longer periods because he struggles to climax), rather than you being attractive

Oh! No worries on that score!! All this is obvs hypothetical anyway....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If they don't want to meet again then you have to accept that and respect their decision.

I would have thought that's the great thing about sex and no relationship?"

There's no suggestion that anyone is doing anything wrong. I'm looking for suggestions as to what would help guys get past it. If they've jumped through all my hoops to get to the point of meeting I feel we're both pretty committed to the idea, so what might help a guy play on?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Relax him. Don't put pressure on him to get hard. Leave his cock alone for a while and concentrate on the rest of his body.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Each guy knows their tolerance to this with a new partner. This is always psychological and has happened on a meet with me, so very frustrating.

Blue pills are freely available and a small price to pay for disappointment.

Guys need to take responsibility.

Not by taking pills.

What if she wasn't doing it for him/them? Should they meet her again out of pity, to save her feelings?

Judging by her photos I don’t think she’s any worries on that count.

My point remains though that guys have to take responsibility and if they don’t think someone is for them then they can choose not to play. It’s usually the situation rather than anything else.

Thanks for your valuable contribution though

You think photos can tell if you'll find someone attractive in the flesh?

My point is, it doesn't always work out how we want it to. It could be a mental block because he's nervous, which means she should try to help ease his nerves, without the pressure to perform.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Relax him. Don't put pressure on him to get hard. Leave his cock alone for a while and concentrate on the rest of his body. "

I'd NEVER pressure someone. That would be a terrible thing to do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If they don't want to meet again then you have to accept that and respect their decision.

I would have thought that's the great thing about sex and no relationship?

Take the pressure off. Move the focus of the meet away from sex. Have a drink and a laugh. Let him know you're keen to try more intimate if he wants and feels ready.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Relax him. Don't put pressure on him to get hard. Leave his cock alone for a while and concentrate on the rest of his body.

I'd NEVER pressure someone. That would be a terrible thing to do. "

Get out a pack of cards and play rummy until his nerves subside.

I had a friend who pre-warned me he struggles to stay erect with a new woman. It took a few times of seeing him for it to not happen. Anxiety is a bastard to get over.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the worst thing you can do is draw attention to it, it's pretty much always nerves that does it. Drawing attention to it would just make it worse. I'd say the best thing a girl could do is to leave it alone and maybe go back to kissing and letting the guy play with you, turning you on would no doubt cure the nerves and the erection in one could swoop.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do lots of kissing.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Relax him. Don't put pressure on him to get hard. Leave his cock alone for a while and concentrate on the rest of his body.

I'd NEVER pressure someone. That would be a terrible thing to do.

Get out a pack of cards and play rummy until his nerves subside.

I had a friend who pre-warned me he struggles to stay erect with a new woman. It took a few times of seeing him for it to not happen. Anxiety is a bastard to get over. "

I'm shit hot at crib. But what if I beat him?? Would that make it worse?

The attitude of your friend sounds great. That's why repeat meets can be so helpful..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Struggling to phrase this question so bear with me:

So, guys, my question is: if it happened to you, how would you like a partner to handle it? I tend to increase kissing, closeness and oral attention and make it clear I'd like to continue playing."

Ok, it's time to fess up...

With me, it's sometimes a case of first time nerves .But after the 2nd time Im usually fine once I'm familiar with the person I'm with and feel more relaxed and comfortable with the situation and the environment. It's annoying... but its how I am sometimes.

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By *oredShitlessxxxCouple
over a year ago

luton

I bet you that if he was in a mmf situation with you and obviously another bloke lol... he wouldnt feel as anxious! ... Mr.

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

OP, it's nothing to do with what you are doing or sexiness etc. From your description, you've handled the situation exactly like you should do.

It happens to lots of guys, some more than others. It doesn't really have anything to do with the looks of the woman, or horniness of the situation. It's just an internal pressure to perform. Some guys wind themselves up about it and it gets worse.

You've done what you can and acted very sympathetically. Certainly don't take it as anything to do with you.

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By *adein68Man
over a year ago

Basingstoke

I have diabetes, this is a common thing as you get damage to the little chap, that brings on anxieties that make matters worse...

We get pills prescribed that usually work but not always, for me room temperature is a factor if it’s too hot he goes to sleep...

Having a connection, mental stimulation, mutual play and not feeling pressure is the key, guess that’s why I haven’t met much yet...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find this happens a lot to me on first meets but I always seem to be able to make my partner comfortable and assures it's no biggie as we have hours of playtime ahead and lots of body parts that need attention if he continues to apologise and is upset I find sitting on their face generally works

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ok, it's time to fess up...

But you use the experience and meet again, that's the cool thing..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"OP, it's nothing to do with what you are doing or sexiness etc. From your description, you've handled the situation exactly like you should do.

You've done what you can and acted very sympathetically. Certainly don't take it as anything to do with you."

Thank you. You two always speak so much sense.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I find this happens a lot to me on first meets but I always seem to be able to make my partner comfortable and assures it's no biggie as we have hours of playtime ahead and lots of body parts that need attention if he continues to apologise and is upset I find sitting on their face generally works "

And in one of the cases I am thinking of we were up against time pressures, which REALLY didn't help. I do think that the socials, clearing enough time for a decent length meet (3hrs at least is my preference), chatting beforehand, exchanging ideas, bringing toys, discussing outfits etc all help.

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By *r.PringleMan
over a year ago

Bradford

"Struggling to phrase this question so bear with me:

So, guys, my question is: if it happened to you, how would you like a partner to handle it? I tend to increase kissing, closeness and oral attention and make it clear I'd like to continue playing."

As a single guy who is still fairly new to the swinging lifestyle I sometimes feel I have to get an erection and "perform" on demand.

I recently experienced the problem of not being able to stay hard for the woman's enjoyment,so we continued to enjoy each other's company and played in other ways without penetration. She was very understanding and we still had a great time.

I only felt like crap because I felt like I hadn't been able to give her everything she desired,which for me was slightly hard to deal with as I love nothing more than to fully please a woman. Thankfully I have bounced back and we are planning to meet again.

And yes, the little blue pill does help.

So my advice to guys is don't worry too much, it happens to us all and please don't just blank the woman as it can also make her feel inadequate as well.

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By *axandbooCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Its quite possibly a psychological barrier rather than a physical one.

Try talking through any issues with him...it could be performance nerves which will only be impacted on by lack of so he then gets stuck in a vicious cycle.

Again talk things through with him

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By * kiss like morphineMan
over a year ago

The gravelly bit next to the shed

Yeah loads of times both in a relationship and on here and clubs, it can be anxiety and hangs on your conscious, it makes you feel worse when you know the women is getting upset and self conscious aswell and thus starts a horrible cycle downwards spiral.

Its actually great reading you wanted to meet despite and work it out but clearly his pride is smashed.

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By *ethnmelvCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

Face sitting is always good! If an erection fails to happen, then I find taking the focus away from my willy for a while really helps - spending time getting your partner turned on, listening to her, tasting her, usually leads to pretty strong erections

it can happen to any guy, so just change the focus, so much more can happen without a cock and that is such a turn on, so usually leads to everything else!

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

[Removed by poster at 02/10/17 15:44:36]

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

It really is down to the guy and if he needs to take a blue pill he should . There's nothing worse for a woman to struggle with a guy who can't get hard .

If on a site like this which is nsa sex a guy struggles to get an erection he would be adding a major string which isn't what it's about .

We've been very lucky so far , it's only happened a couple of times and both times were in group scenarios so it didn't matter . My wife just carried on with the guys who were hard .

To put it into perspective - If you can't play rugby you're not gonna try out for the local rugby team are you ? So it's no different to meet up for sex and not get a hard on .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This problem (and I say problem for want of a better word) is so common and it's happened to me a few times. I can honestly say it's never the ladies fault and just nerves on my behalf. Blokes shouldn't be embarrassed or make the lady feel like it's them. In my experience the woman and couples have understood and we have slowed it back down and got there in the end. Plenty of laughing, joking and playing will get there in the end.

Message to OP if they make you feel bad get rid. If he copes well with the problem slow it down and enjoy the time more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I understand it can happen, I am lucky, what happens with me sometimes is I keep erect but can't Cum I explain and keep going and let them enjoy only thing is you have to be fit lol

Yeah - see I'm not fit, but that's what the social is for..a chance to say 'thanks but no thanks'.

I think he meant physically fit (to be able to keep going with his erection, for longer periods because he struggles to climax), rather than you being attractive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok, it's time to fess up...

But you use the experience and meet again, that's the cool thing.."

Yes I do. It always gets better with each meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It happens, it's damn annoying if it does but that's life. Luckily it's only been a couple of times for me and nothing to do with the lady. When it has happened it's been because I just wasn't in the moment for some reason, either uncomfortable with something or distracted ect. Addressing whatever that issue was sorted it out.

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By *iptopMan
over a year ago

north of newcastle

"I think lots of people think an erection is something you switch on and off and that men are ready to go 100% if the time but actually, I think if time is spent figuring out what works for that person and turns them on they're likely to be less anxious and not have erection issues. Because I think it could mostly be down to performance anxiety (personally) "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"These are really helpful perspectives, thank you, and making me feel a little less crappy about my 'allure'."

Don't think you are lacking in the allure dept.....but hey...sometimes these things happen to the best of us... As others have said....sometimes the little guy just refuses to play ball!

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By *orthern BeardMan
over a year ago

Preston

The other time she got all weird about it.

Usually I'm worried about cumming to quick, pills aren't always the answer

That's why I like to continue to play, because it can come back if everyone relaxes. What could she have done for you that would have helped you out?"

If I recall it just took some dirty talk from her? But I'm really into that so it depends what turns the guy on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"assure it's no biggie as we have hours of playtime ahead and lots of body parts that need attention if he continues to apologise and is upset I find sitting on their face generally works "

This. Face sitting is a cure-all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My long term partner is suffering with this a little at the moment 1 minute he's ready to go the next it's died but I have told him it's not an issue for me and continued to kiss him and play with his balls and do other stuff I know he likes. He has a lot of personal stress and just started taking some new medication which are all contributing factors. I still love him and I get more snuggles xx

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By *lderukmale2005Man
over a year ago

basingstoke

"Each guy knows their tolerance to this with a new partner. This is always psychological and has happened on a meet with me, so very frustrating.

Blue pills are freely available and a small price to pay for disappointment.

Guys need to take responsibility.

Unfortunately not everyone can take the magic blue pills due to medical problems x

Mr"

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

My advice is that it could be that he is tired and not from sex, it could be nerves about cumin to quick, it could just be meet nerves as well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would just acknowledge it and put him at ease, tell him it'll come back when it's ready and get on with other stuff

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Such helpful contributions thank you. I'm not a great fan of face sitting, but I'll take one for the team if helps ease the situation..

Also noting the suggestion to get him to focus on me.

As for talking it thro - If I was in a relationship I'd do it, but it feels a bit heavy handed for fab meets and in my experience guys are reluctant to engage at more than the lightest level.

Really, really useful thread thank you.

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By *oredShitlessxxxCouple
over a year ago

luton

"Such helpful contributions thank you. I'm not a great fan of face sitting, but I'll take one for the team if helps ease the situation..

Also noting the suggestion to get him to focus on me.

As for talking it thro - If I was in a relationship I'd do it, but it feels a bit heavy handed for fab meets and in my experience guys are reluctant to engage at more than the lightest level.

Really, really useful thread thank you."

Sounds like you are putting alot of effort into this guy though. There must be more to it than just a Fab meet aspect? Your desire to try to help the guy out and facilitate additional meets to overcome such issues etc

Its nice and good of you, just go for it and have a open honest talk with him about it, what do you have to lose?

All the best x

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By * SCARED x STIFF xCouple
over a year ago

west midlands

I have lost erections in the past and the only thing that works for me is starting from the beginning with the foreplay, sometimes if my partner has had an orgasm I'm ready to give up and rest and for some reason as soon as my brain thinks play time is over the boner will return, soft , slow and sensual is what gets me back on the boil

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By * SCARED x STIFF xCouple
over a year ago

west midlands

Oh I forgot to say that it's never been down to the attractiveness of a partner , the times I've experienced this problem have been with my wife who I find irresistible, beer doesn't help though lol

Sometimes I get it if I get very close to orgasm a few times without going over the edge (usually by thinking of something boring to delay myself) so it's quite possible that the guys you mention were very much into you but may feel like they can't offer what you want

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Struggling to phrase this question so bear with me:

So, guys, my question is: if it happened to you, how would you like a partner to handle it? I tend to increase kissing, closeness and oral attention and make it clear I'd like to continue playing."

some guys sometimes suffer from stage fright, they over think things and get over excited,

it happened to me once in a club, room full of couples naked and playing, mildred naked and spread beckoning for me to fuck her, what guy wouldn't be excited and hard ,

little man went soft, so layed down and started pleasing mildred in other ways, ten mins later and he was back ready to go,

don't worry about it just relax and enjoy each other in different ways, theres more to good sex than just penetration, foreplay can be very enjoyable and erotic

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Its nice and good of you, just go for it and have a open honest talk with him about it, what do you have to lose?

All the best x"

Thanks for the post, but this isn't a question about one guy. It's happened a couple of times and they've not been up for trying again, which was a shame because they *were* doing it for me. Just looking for ideas if it crops up (or not

) again...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh I forgot to say that it's never been down to the attractiveness of a partner , the times I've experienced this problem have been with my wife who I find irresistible, beer doesn't help though lol

That's interesting. Thank you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Struggling to phrase this question so bear with me:

So, guys, my question is: if it happened to you, how would you like a partner to handle it? I tend to increase kissing, closeness and oral attention and make it clear I'd like to continue playing.

some guys sometimes suffer from stage fright, they over think things and get over excited,

it happened to me once in a club, room full of couples naked and playing, mildred naked and spread beckoning for me to fuck her, what guy wouldn't be excited and hard ,

little man went soft, so layed down and started pleasing mildred in other ways, ten mins later and he was back ready to go,

don't worry about it just relax and enjoy each other in different ways, theres more to good sex than just penetration, foreplay can be very enjoyable and erotic"

See you know this, I know this, why don't they? In one case I had genuinely forgotten about the erection issues because they were a minor part of the whole meet, had had a great time and thought he had too, but he let it get to him, deleted his account and wouldn't meet to play again.

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By *reenleavesCouple
over a year ago

North Wales

As has been said, stress is a major factor in this happening. It's happened to me before when I was going through a rough patch of anxiety issues and that was me having sex at home with Steph. So stage fright isn't always the culprit

Once it's happened, it does become the elephant in the room. As guys are very aware on Fab, if you can't perform on the night then there are a queue of willing blokes behind you ready to step up! So it very much becomes a mind fuck and something that can cause problems even when the original cause of the launch failure has passed.

As to how to deal with it from a woman's standpoint .... Step out of the situation. Go have a beer together or get in the hot tub. Make it clear that it's just you having a break and that you're not put off. When you get back to it, have him focus on things other than penetrate play. Get him to massage you or play with you. If it doesn't come back then you can end it there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Struggling to phrase this question so bear with me:

So, guys, my question is: if it happened to you, how would you like a partner to handle it? I tend to increase kissing, closeness and oral attention and make it clear I'd like to continue playing.

some guys sometimes suffer from stage fright, they over think things and get over excited,

it happened to me once in a club, room full of couples naked and playing, mildred naked and spread beckoning for me to fuck her, what guy wouldn't be excited and hard ,

little man went soft, so layed down and started pleasing mildred in other ways, ten mins later and he was back ready to go,

don't worry about it just relax and enjoy each other in different ways, theres more to good sex than just penetration, foreplay can be very enjoyable and erotic

unfortunately some guys seem to take it harder than others, some can brush it off others feel like its the end of their world, having a good lady with you to reasure him he is not a failure, maybe show him this post so he can see it is more common than he thinks and you can get over it,,also get him a cock ring they help keep you hard when your mind wanders

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never had an issue getting it up but sometimes I can't cum without wanking myself off if the lady gets too slippery lol

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By * kiss like morphineMan
over a year ago

The gravelly bit next to the shed

"As has been said, stress is a major factor in this happening. It's happened to me before when I was going through a rough patch of anxiety issues and that was me having sex at home with Steph. So stage fright isn't always the culprit

Nods in agreement.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Happened a few time, well to start we...

If you are comfortable with yourself and fun and play, think with a tad of experience the problem dissipates.

Just let him smack your bum...

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

I have recently found this happening to me. I am very strongly affected by my own feelings and if I'm in any way stressed or anxious I will lose my erection.

The best way for a play partner to deal with this is for her to accept it's really not down to her, nor is it my choice. I'm probably enjoying her ministrations but I just don't keep it up for 3 hours any more. Don't make a big deal of it, as there are plenty of other things we can do. I'm a huge fan of long foreplay sessions and have always preferred the kissing, touching, licking and so on...to fucking. But for some women the fucking is a big deal.

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By *idalgo13Man
over a year ago

Near York

Not by taking pills.

What if she wasn't doing it for him/them? Should they meet her again out of pity, to save her feelings?

And it seems to me that's the point of phone calls and socials, so that we have established whether the connection is there before the clothes come off..."

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By *idalgo13Man
over a year ago

Near York

"Struggling to phrase this question so bear with me:

So, guys, my question is: if it happened to you, how would you like a partner to handle it? I tend to increase kissing, closeness and oral attention and make it clear I'd like to continue playing."

This absolutely....I tend to increase kissing, closeness and oral attention and make it clear I'd like to continue playing.

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By *uriousTwosomeCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

On a 'fab' night, a bloke without a hard on feels a failure, the more he worries about it the harder it is to get a hard on. Tell a guy he's not getting laid, and he will be stuck with a hard on all night!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like it when guys cum quick. Love it when we're fucking and they have to stop for a few seconds or even pull their willy out for a moment to have a breather!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yep, really like this advice.

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By *orthern BeardMan
over a year ago

Preston

"I like it when guys cum quick. Love it when we're fucking and they have to stop for a few seconds or even pull their willy out for a moment to have a breather!"

That's me when I get too excited by a situation. However once I cum I'm back up right away and then fucking for an hour before I can cum again

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By *arvisrodrigMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Personally I make liberal use of toys anyway, no matter your size and stamina you can always go further with mechanical assistance.

If your happy with that sort of thing then let him know.

Perhaps bring your own as well to hand to him just in case.

But other than first acting like it's not a problem so he will follow your lead and then second being supportive if he's still hung up there's not too much you can do.

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By *he Secret Tea PartyCouple
over a year ago

London

I once worried about such things.

But now I work on the theory that, if the social went well. and he can get hard in your presence, then it's nerves, tiredness or something beyond either of your control if it doesn't stay hard

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's only happened on a few occasions but for me tiredness is the biggest erection killer.

If it does happen I'll just stop let her know I need some time and usually have a good spoon, chat about anything and everything. Hands will start wandering and it will return soon enough ready to again.

Just don't make a fuss, that's the worst possible thing as it then becomes a mental issue.

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By *appy squirrelWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

pause, start again- and usually its actually always been a good meet when this has happened... I get double time of him teasing me, playing with me which gets him ready again...

plus there are many more things than penetration...

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By *c-ukMan
over a year ago

Sevenoaks

Just tell me any of the following..

I am seeing another guy.. oooh !!

I am seeing a few other guys.. oh wow !!

Could you pick me up after.. mmmmmm !!

You can only go down on me after I have seen him... Shating !!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just tell me any of the following..

I am seeing another guy.. oooh !!

I am seeing a few other guys.. oh wow !!

Could you pick me up after.. mmmmmm !!

You can only go down on me after I have seen him... Shating !!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who uses Vigar to keep going off to a party next week and thinking of trying it what Dose 100 MG or 50MG?

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By *xplorer13Man
over a year ago

glenrothes

My Mrs when we swung a few years back, met a fair few guys who just couldn't perform. It made her feel very unattractive and felt terrible, so I feel your pain OP but it really is the guys problem. If you can't get a hard on then don't embarrass yourself by meeting. You may feel bad but you also make the woman feel awful!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It can happen easy but always nice to just play and tease other ways till its hard and ready to continue again and last way longer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We just go back to foreplay and that normally does the job.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just make sure before anything else they haven't had a few lines of confidence boosting before a meet!! As this will impair the most rampant man around with only viagra the only real solution at that point!! (Miss spent youth don't judge

)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's only happened on a few occasions but for me tiredness is the biggest erection killer.

Just don't make a fuss, that's the worst possible thing as it then becomes a mental issue."

Thats reassuring, thank you. It's just how ive handled it

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By *hor ThumbMan
over a year ago

bristol

Not by taking pills.

What if she wasn't doing it for him/them? Should they meet her again out of pity, to save her feelings?

And it seems to me that's the point of phone calls and socials, so that we have established whether the connection is there before the clothes come off..."
it's most likely nerves, the fact that they aren't coming back may be just embarrassment. Either way, you need to move on from this.. erectile dysfunction happens to all men at some point and it's mostly psychological. Don't take it personally is the best way to deal with it. X

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By *hor ThumbMan
over a year ago

bristol

"These are really helpful perspectives, thank you, and making me feel a little less crappy about my 'allure'."
you have plenty of allure,I'm glad this thread has helped you understand this issue that all guys have at some point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is all about enthusiasm and enjoyment. Sometimes a whole night is not enough to restore the desire if the excitement of the other person isn't there. However, someone lost in their own world enjoying the moment can make multiple times an hour a matter of course. It is a mutual thing to generate the excitement for the benefit of both.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My experience is when it's a first ?

First party ! And first time with a couple?

Although it was a bit embarrassing for me all I was met with was understanding about how emotions can make you over excited quickly !!

As still very inexperienced sexually I find it hard to control how excited I do get ?

But with my very sexy partner I'm getting there and through more meets I'm sure my control and confidence will grow ?

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By *uciyassMan
over a year ago

sheffield

"Each guy knows their tolerance to this with a new partner. This is always psychological and has happened on a meet with me, so very frustrating.

Blue pills are freely available and a small price to pay for disappointment.

Guys need to take responsibility.

Not by taking pills.

What if she wasn't doing it for him/them? Should they meet her again out of pity, to save her feelings?"

I don’t think it’s any fault of the woman actually I know it isn’t. It’s a mixture of everything nerves anxiety the works or even medical. Viagra also isn’t the answer it doesn’t always work. I think it’s best just to try and get as relaxed as possible and not rush. Well that’s how it is for me anyway x

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

The title of this post makes me smile each time I see it.

kid gloves comes to mind... don't think they cost that much....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it rarely has anything to do with the woman, unless they were drastically different from the original pictures sent etc. Nerves have a huge part to play in it, pressure etc etc etc. I can assure you the man feels a lot worse! I had a meet recently actually, we were talking for weeks and we finally became available at the same time so went for it. It just wasn't working for me, dick was having none of it. Nothing to do with the woman it just wasn't happening that day.

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By *dluvvaMan
over a year ago

lancaster

A bj usually does it for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Struggling to phrase this question so bear with me:

So, guys, my question is: if it happened to you, how would you like a partner to handle it? I tend to increase kissing, closeness and oral attention and make it clear I'd like to continue playing."

I think if it happened and god forbid it doesn't what you're doing to carry it on is perfect

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Struggling to phrase this question so bear with me:

....... So, guys, my question is: if it happened to you, how would you like a partner to handle it? I tend to increase kissing, closeness and oral attention and make it clear I'd like to continue playing."

The more you focus on my cock the more I would feel under pressure to perform. If I want to get turned on, I like to stroke and caress stroke and lick your pussy and worry about your enjoyment. Then hey presto .... very soon I have a hard on without even having thought about it and I'll soon be flipping you over and giving you what you want.

You do sound too good to be true by the way !!

Have fun out there

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By *inkyChrissy99TV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

"Nerves is the main thing I've found and especially in a MMF scenario or playing in a club. Some guys just can't perform in front of others. Others will walk around all night with a hard Cock. Every guy is different and so is every situation x"

I agree with this, some just get overwhelmed and can't perform in certain situations.

Maybe you are too much woman for some x

Intimacy does help in my experience but not always...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"These are really helpful perspectives, thank you, and making me feel a little less crappy about my 'allure'."

find your pictures very attractive also very impressed with your compassion for those two situations that you were put in.

Definitely notice a change as one gets older used to walk around as a kid with a hard on all the time now might take a little bit of kissing and some cuddling at first for $0.01 / watch out game is on.

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By *inkySeeKinkyDoWoman
over a year ago

'tween PontyCarlo & CasVegas in West Yorks

"The title of this post makes me smile each time I see it.

kid gloves comes to mind... don't think they cost that much....

I see it and think "put some viniger on it pet" a La Keith Lemon

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By *uzie69xTV/TS
over a year ago

Maidstone

"pause, start again- and usually its actually always been a good meet when this has happened... I get double time of him teasing me, playing with me which gets him ready again...

plus there are many more things than penetration..."

I always have some "Chill Out" music playing when I'm having sex. So I whack up the music and give him a bit of a strip tease...

Turn your bum towards his cock (face away from him) and rub down on his crotch.

Then crawl between his legs (stare at his eyes, not his cock) and start a gentle tease blow job... lightly flick the underside of his head with your tongue...

Then hopefully Mister Winky will turn to Mister Woody. Humour helps too.

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By *uzie69xTV/TS
over a year ago

Maidstone

"Who uses Vigar to keep going off to a party next week and thinking of trying it what Dose 100 MG or 50MG?"

Seriously - if you've never taken them before, start with 50mg or your head will feel like exploding. Then after half an hour and you're still ok, you can take another 50mg. If you've bought the 100mg, cut the pill in half and do it gradually.

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Delicate erections - how do you handle them?