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Couple swinging

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By *DCouple25 OP   Couple
over a year ago

MAIDSTONE

Hey guys some advice. We are fairly new to swinging. My wife went swinging for the first time at eurekas on Friday. She went with a friend and they joined her as couple which I was not best pleased about. She had alot of fun so managed to join on the Sat night but they put me down as a single male yet I am a couple to her. Anyway now her friend wants to come to the couples night as a result I can't go cause I am not on the couple membership. I feel like she wants to swing alone. She says talk to other women but I want to swing together not spearate. I tried to join in last night but the other couples were just interested in her and at one moment got told to leave one room as I was not with her. It's left me frustrated cause I wanted to do this as a couple but feel like she getting all the attention and I am left out

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth

Swinging as a couple needs total honesty - about what's happening but also about what you want. You need to be able to sit down and talk about what you're comfortable with and where your boundaries are. If you're not or able to do this, you're potentially going to end up unhappy and making things awkward with anyone you meet.

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By *orkie321bWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

OP you need to talk this through with your wife.

Good communication is absolutely key to make swinging work for you.

It is normal for ladies to get more attention than men so try not to let that get to you too much. Just make sure you and your wife agree your limits and stick to them. If you are not happy to play separately then say so.

Swinging can greatly enhance an already great relationship providing you put that relationship first. It can also destroy your relationship if you are not both equally into it and if you don't communicate properly.

Maybe you should both take a step back, talk properly and sort out what you want from it.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Talk to your wife.

For swinging as a couple to be any way successful you need to both agree on how you play.

Your post isn't clear but as far as I can work out your wife went alone, you then went and had to go in as a single male? Couldn't you both explain to staff and get your membership changed?

If your wife is doing things you don't like and she knows you don't like them the two of you need to sort it out.

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed


"Hey guys some advice. We are fairly new to swinging. My wife went swinging for the first time at eurekas on Friday. She went with a friend and they joined her as couple which I was not best pleased about. She had alot of fun so managed to join on the Sat night but they put me down as a single male yet I am a couple to her. Anyway now her friend wants to come to the couples night as a result I can't go cause I am not on the couple membership. I feel like she wants to swing alone. She says talk to other women but I want to swing together not spearate. I tried to join in last night but the other couples were just interested in her and at one moment got told to leave one room as I was not with her. It's left me frustrated cause I wanted to do this as a couple but feel like she getting all the attention and I am left out "

This has got to be a wind up surely.

She went to a club without you and signed up as a couple with someone other than her husband.

And she was happy for you to be told to leave the room.

If any of that is true then does not say alot for her concern about your relationship.

Of course she will be more popular and get more action. The odds are in her favour, does not mean she has to be an ass about it.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Also if someone pays attention to me (f) and not Mr N I sack them off. We agreed we were in this together and we both stick to it..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hey guys some advice. We are fairly new to swinging. My wife went swinging for the first time at eurekas on Friday. She went with a friend and they joined her as couple which I was not best pleased about. She had alot of fun so managed to join on the Sat night but they put me down as a single male yet I am a couple to her. Anyway now her friend wants to come to the couples night as a result I can't go cause I am not on the couple membership. I feel like she wants to swing alone. She says talk to other women but I want to swing together not spearate. I tried to join in last night but the other couples were just interested in her and at one moment got told to leave one room as I was not with her. It's left me frustrated cause I wanted to do this as a couple but feel like she getting all the attention and I am left out

This has got to be a wind up surely.

She went to a club without you and signed up as a couple with someone other than her husband.

And she was happy for you to be told to leave the room.

If any of that is true then does not say alot for her concern about your relationship.

Of course she will be more popular and get more action. The odds are in her favour, does not mean she has to be an ass about it. "

This. OP talk to your wife.

Is her friend a man or a woman? Is she actually having an affair but pretending she is swinging?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hey guys some advice. We are fairly new to swinging. My wife went swinging for the first time at eurekas on Friday. She went with a friend and they joined her as couple which I was not best pleased about. She had alot of fun so managed to join on the Sat night but they put me down as a single male yet I am a couple to her. Anyway now her friend wants to come to the couples night as a result I can't go cause I am not on the couple membership. I feel like she wants to swing alone. She says talk to other women but I want to swing together not spearate. I tried to join in last night but the other couples were just interested in her and at one moment got told to leave one room as I was not with her. It's left me frustrated cause I wanted to do this as a couple but feel like she getting all the attention and I am left out

This has got to be a wind up surely.

She went to a club without you and signed up as a couple with someone other than her husband.

And she was happy for you to be told to leave the room.

If any of that is true then does not say alot for her concern about your relationship.

Of course she will be more popular and get more action. The odds are in her favour, does not mean she has to be an ass about it.

This. OP talk to your wife.

Is her friend a man or a woman? Is she actually having an affair but pretending she is swinging?"

Get a tissue and have a cry

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By *DCouple25 OP   Couple
over a year ago

MAIDSTONE

Apparently a friend. I went in and got told to leave the play room cause she was with a guy. I had to find someone to manage to get back in the room. I kept saying we came as a couple but I got confused for a single person. Thanks for the advice guys. I will speak more and say we either swing together or not at all. She seems to think I need to find a woman so I can go to the couples night but I am with her it's not me that needs to it's her friend. Thanks guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our advice would be to stop swinging, right now, and sit down and talk to each other, you both clearly have differing opinions and desires in regards to swinging.

Navigating the minefield of swinging as a couple isn't easy, but there are some simple rules and boundaries to stick to.

Be sure your relationship is strong, If there are cracks or weaknesses in your relationship, be sure that swinging will bust it wide open and just expose them even more. Swinging is not a cure to a failing relationship, (as much as it can seem to be at the start).

Honesty and communication is key, be honest with each other about what you both want, as well as about what you both don't want, be sure these likes and dislikes are compatible with each otheruns expectations and desires.

Be clear about each other's boundaries and stick to them, push them by all means, but only on the agreed condition that you are BOTH happy to do so.

There's no room for selfishness, and when your partner say "no", no matter how much you may be enjoying yourself, stop, don't resent, don't complain, your partner should not feel uncomfortable to say they are not happy or uncomfortable.

Talk about each swinging experience, be honest about what you liked what you didn't like, and anything you may have liked to try but didn't get chance to.

Above all, mutual respect, respect each other, watch out for each other, know each other's body language or signals as to whether your partner is comfortable, or uncomfortable, and respect each other enough that if one person isn't enjoying themselves, then neither of you should be, and if your not enjoying yourself, say so, compromising for your partners enjoyment at the sake of your own will only lead to resentment which will start to crack the relationship.

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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago

Wherever the party is!


"Our advice would be to stop swinging, right now, and sit down and talk to each other, you both clearly have differing opinions and desires in regards to swinging.

Navigating the minefield of swinging as a couple isn't easy, but there are some simple rules and boundaries to stick to.

Be sure your relationship is strong, If there are cracks or weaknesses in your relationship, be sure that swinging will bust it wide open and just expose them even more. Swinging is not a cure to a failing relationship, (as much as it can seem to be at the start).

Honesty and communication is key, be honest with each other about what you both want, as well as about what you both don't want, be sure these likes and dislikes are compatible with each otheruns expectations and desires.

Be clear about each other's boundaries and stick to them, push them by all means, but only on the agreed condition that you are BOTH happy to do so.

There's no room for selfishness, and when your partner say "no", no matter how much you may be enjoying yourself, stop, don't resent, don't complain, your partner should not feel uncomfortable to say they are not happy or uncomfortable.

Talk about each swinging experience, be honest about what you liked what you didn't like, and anything you may have liked to try but didn't get chance to.

Above all, mutual respect, respect each other, watch out for each other, know each other's body language or signals as to whether your partner is comfortable, or uncomfortable, and respect each other enough that if one person isn't enjoying themselves, then neither of you should be, and if your not enjoying yourself, say so, compromising for your partners enjoyment at the sake of your own will only lead to resentment which will start to crack the relationship.

"

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By *DCouple25 OP   Couple
over a year ago

MAIDSTONE

Thanks for thanking the time to respond. I will have a big talk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Apparently a friend. I went in and got told to leave the play room cause she was with a guy. I had to find someone to manage to get back in the room. I kept saying we came as a couple but I got confused for a single person. Thanks for the advice guys. I will speak more and say we either swing together or not at all. She seems to think I need to find a woman so I can go to the couples night but I am with her it's not me that needs to it's her friend. Thanks guys "

What did she do when you got told to leave the room? Sounds like she's utterly taking the piss and just shagging around. Good luck. x

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester


"Apparently a friend. I went in and got told to leave the play room cause she was with a guy. I had to find someone to manage to get back in the room. I kept saying we came as a couple but I got confused for a single person. Thanks for the advice guys. I will speak more and say we either swing together or not at all. She seems to think I need to find a woman so I can go to the couples night but I am with her it's not me that needs to it's her friend. Thanks guys

What did she do when you got told to leave the room? Sounds like she's utterly taking the piss and just shagging around. Good luck. x"

Exactly this , and I'm surprised given that you want to swing together that you've let it go this far .

She's treating you like a mug , sort it out or get out of the relationship .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She may be like a kid in a sweet shop with the whole idea I know I can be and every now and then I need hubby to wind me back in x have a good chat and tell her how you feel good luck xx

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By *DCouple25 OP   Couple
over a year ago

MAIDSTONE


"Apparently a friend. I went in and got told to leave the play room cause she was with a guy. I had to find someone to manage to get back in the room. I kept saying we came as a couple but I got confused for a single person. Thanks for the advice guys. I will speak more and say we either swing together or not at all. She seems to think I need to find a woman so I can go to the couples night but I am with her it's not me that needs to it's her friend. Thanks guys

What did she do when you got told to leave the room? Sounds like she's utterly taking the piss and just shagging around. Good luck. x"

I was told to leave because you can't have guys walking in on your own.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Females can often get more attention especially at clubs but with strict boundaries for and with each other we can only agree with previous posts. It won't end well if not sorted. Hope it is and you can carry on the journey eye together. First off bin that membership and get another....better in long run even if it costs another one. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You definitely need to stop swinging OP. This has the potential to totally destroy your relationship. You need to sit down and talk to your wife. And then talk some more until you are both happy. She has shown you a massive amount of disrespect and it sounds like she has put swinging before your relationship. Hope you manage to work this out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is an incredibly unhealthy thing. Nothing more to add that hasn't already been said but you need to lay down your boundaries quickly and firmly. If she doesn't adhere to them then you have a fairly Difficult case of infidelity.

Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She is taking you for a mug, if she has signed up with another guy for a club as a couple, the simple solution is for you to let her be a couple with this guy and leave her, unbelievable

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By *irestorm 500Couple
over a year ago

coventry


"She is taking you for a mug, if she has signed up with another guy for a club as a couple, the simple solution is for you to let her be a couple with this guy and leave her, unbelievable "

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By *andomfodCouple
over a year ago

walsall


"Also if someone pays attention to me (f) and not Mr N I sack them off. We agreed we were in this together and we both stick to it.."

That's how we both play too. We are a couple and if you aren't interested in us both, then we don't play.

Same as we wouldn't ask a couple to split to play separately for us either.

Wouldn't the whole issue be sorted by talking to the manager and getting the membership changed? Failing that, you could just sign up together as a couple.

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By *ink and inkedCouple
over a year ago

Essex


"Apparently a friend. I went in and got told to leave the play room cause she was with a guy. I had to find someone to manage to get back in the room. I kept saying we came as a couple but I got confused for a single person. Thanks for the advice guys. I will speak more and say we either swing together or not at all. She seems to think I need to find a woman so I can go to the couples night but I am with her it's not me that needs to it's her friend. Thanks guys

What did she do when you got told to leave the room? Sounds like she's utterly taking the piss and just shagging around. Good luck. x

I was told to leave because you can't have guys walking in on your own. "

We were there on Saturday night and yes if it's the couples room you are talking about then it is strictly for couples and 'single' men are forbidden ... if your wife had really wanted you to play in the room with her then there are other rooms to do this in

Seems to me the whole confusion was from Friday night. The memberships are signed up with information that the customers give the club so if your wife and the other person told them they were a couple then a couple membership would have been issued !

Seems to me like there is little concern for you in all this and telling you to go and find another playmate is a tad insulting to you.

If you are a couple then swing as a couple of at least be singing off the same sheet.

You need to set the record straight my man !

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Stop immediately.close account.

Sit and have a talk with her.

We go to clubs together Mrs also has a single hotwife profile that she meets guy's from.

Perhaps the hotwife scenario may work for you once you have talked to her.

Maybe it's a communication issue but sounds like she is taking advantage of you?

Talk to her go to clubs together discuss play scenarios so if it happens you both know what the rules are.

Who told you to leave the room?

Personally

I would have told her that you were going home and can she please stop as you are unhappy with the situation.

If she stayed then I am sorry mate but I think you have bigger problems.

But before you hit the panic button communication communication communication

You can't swing happily as a couple without it.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

Sounds like you're a cuckold. But not the good kind.

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By *imetoexplore69Couple
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Surely you must know your Mrs is taking the piss?.she wouldint be my Mrs anymore anyway.you should have nipped it in the bud straight away.good Luck to you though mate hope you sort it out i feel for you as I couldint imagine being able to go along with being told to leave a room because your apparent partner would rather you leave so she can fuck who seems to be her new partner. I can't really say what I think about that as it would prob break a forum rule but just man up or this will end badly for you.thing is do you think your wife would stop if you asked her?say you only want to meet couples from off here now and see how she reacts and you will know where you stand better than any advise that can be given on here.swinging is about both of you and your relashinship needs to be strong if you want this to be 100% fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sounds like you're a cuckold. But not the good kind. "

yes we can hear you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sounds like you're a cuckold. But not the good kind. "

There's surely only one kind of cuckold, the one that wants and accepts the situation. This sounds like an abusive relationship, nothing like a sexual scenario.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Be interested in getting her side.

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By *imetoexplore69Couple
over a year ago

Aberdeen


"Be interested in getting her side."
she may when she reads this from her other "couples profile" .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Be interested in getting her side.she may when she reads this from her other "couples profile" ."

Harsh!!...... (ish)

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By *rMrs CumalotCouple
over a year ago

East Mids

You need to stop otherwise you have lose your relationship!

You need to sit down and put everything out on the table and communicate

Swinging either makes relationships strong or absolutely destroys them

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury


"Sounds like you're a cuckold. But not the good kind.

There's surely only one kind of cuckold, the one that wants and accepts the situation. This sounds like an abusive relationship, nothing like a sexual scenario. "

A man who's wife is cheating on him without his knowledge, or against his will is a cuckold. Cuckolding is also a fetish. 2 kinds.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sounds like you're a cuckold. But not the good kind.

There's surely only one kind of cuckold, the one that wants and accepts the situation. This sounds like an abusive relationship, nothing like a sexual scenario.

A man who's wife is cheating on him without his knowledge, or against his will is a cuckold. Cuckolding is also a fetish. 2 kinds."

Quick Wiki..... I stand corrected!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Am I the only one that thinks this sounds really fucked up?

She clearly wants her cake and eat it. It's clear she not wanting to involve you.

I'd take advise from here and close your account.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Am I the only one that thinks this sounds really fucked up?

She clearly wants her cake and eat it. It's clear she not wanting to involve you.

I'd take advise from here and close your account."

Nope it's not just you....

Just shows how some people can manipulate their partner into thinking even the most bizarre circumstances are normal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't believe your woman!!

She was playing with another guy and u were asked to leave??

Did she not say that you were with her and dump the other guy asap??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hey guys some advice. We are fairly new to swinging. My wife went swinging for the first time at eurekas on Friday. She went with a friend and they joined her as couple which I was not best pleased about. She had alot of fun so managed to join on the Sat night but they put me down as a single male yet I am a couple to her. Anyway now her friend wants to come to the couples night as a result I can't go cause I am not on the couple membership. I feel like she wants to swing alone. She says talk to other women but I want to swing together not spearate. I tried to join in last night but the other couples were just interested in her and at one moment got told to leave one room as I was not with her. It's left me frustrated cause I wanted to do this as a couple but feel like she getting all the attention and I am left out

This has got to be a wind up surely.

She went to a club without you and signed up as a couple with someone other than her husband.

And she was happy for you to be told to leave the room.

If any of that is true then does not say alot for her concern about your relationship.

Of course she will be more popular and get more action. The odds are in her favour, does not mean she has to be an ass about it.

This. OP talk to your wife.

Is her friend a man or a woman? Is she actually having an affair but pretending she is swinging?

Get a tissue and have a cry"

Oh aren't you a delight.

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By *heaspieswingerMan
over a year ago

Peak District


"Our advice would be to stop swinging, right now, and sit down and talk to each other, you both clearly have differing opinions and desires in regards to swinging.

Navigating the minefield of swinging as a couple isn't easy, but there are some simple rules and boundaries to stick to.

Be sure your relationship is strong, If there are cracks or weaknesses in your relationship, be sure that swinging will bust it wide open and just expose them even more. Swinging is not a cure to a failing relationship, (as much as it can seem to be at the start).

Honesty and communication is key, be honest with each other about what you both want, as well as about what you both don't want, be sure these likes and dislikes are compatible with each otheruns expectations and desires.

Be clear about each other's boundaries and stick to them, push them by all means, but only on the agreed condition that you are BOTH happy to do so.

There's no room for selfishness, and when your partner say "no", no matter how much you may be enjoying yourself, stop, don't resent, don't complain, your partner should not feel uncomfortable to say they are not happy or uncomfortable.

Talk about each swinging experience, be honest about what you liked what you didn't like, and anything you may have liked to try but didn't get chance to.

Above all, mutual respect, respect each other, watch out for each other, know each other's body language or signals as to whether your partner is comfortable, or uncomfortable, and respect each other enough that if one person isn't enjoying themselves, then neither of you should be, and if your not enjoying yourself, say so, compromising for your partners enjoyment at the sake of your own will only lead to resentment which will start to crack the relationship.

"

This. From what you say, this can only end badly. Stop immediately. x

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By *lue9753Man
over a year ago

Oldham

Did you not talk about the ups and downs before she went on her own

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Appalled by her behaviour, done very good advice given her OP, like many have said previously, talk to her and stop 'swinging' immediately,

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