FabSwingers.com forum: Etiquette Question

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi guys,

Just wanted to know what the consensus on the most polite way of saying that you don't want to meet with someone from here after you have talked to them for a while but they are eager to meet?

We are still new to this so would love to hear your thoughts as we don't want to be rude or sound like jerks

Thanks!

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By *Devil77Man
over a year ago

West Midlands

Just say thanks for the chat but I/we don't think you are for me/us.

Happy fabbing.

Depending on the other person you'll either get an ok,thanks reply or a reply full of profanities

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No etiquette, just thanks but no thanks. A reason too if you like but that tends to lead to more trying to persuade you from our experience.

A simple block if they get persistent.

Life's too short for you and them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Say you are new to the site, you've had second thoughts and are looking for something more specific.

Get ready to block if they get tetchy!

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

"Hi guys,

Just wanted to know what the consensus on the most polite way of saying that you don't want to meet with someone from here after you have talked to them for a while but they are eager to meet?

We are still new to this so would love to hear your thoughts as we don't want to be rude or sound like jerks

Thanks!"

You're new so you are bound to get caught up in chatting with people you aren't going to meet . Once you get a feel for this , that won't happen and problem solved .

In the meantime , make sure you've seen pics before engaging in chat , and from there quickly suss whether they are suitable playmates . When you know they aren't , block them . No need to let them down gently , it's what the option is for

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's better to be clear and remove any ambiguity from what you're saying. It's sounds harsh, but saying 'thanks, but we won't be meeting for any play, you're not quite what we're looking for'.

We found that trying to be diplomatic or kind often left conversations open to comebacks along the lines of 'maybe we'll meet some other time' or 'we might grow on you'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just be honest, something along the lines of sorry, we're not really feeling it/ Not our type/not really what we're looking for. If I send something along those lines and wish them happy Fabbing we usually hear nothing or get a quick thank you message back. Can only think of once we got grief but nothing a quick block and delete didn't sort.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for all your responses guys, we had a feeling that it would just be a case of being blunt but its good to hear that people agree on this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks for all your responses guys, we had a feeling that it would just be a case of being blunt but its good to hear that people agree on this.

Blunt is necessary, some people don't just accept no, so being polite but to the point. Life is too short trying to justify yourself to anyone as to why you don't want to meet them!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We learnt early on subtle is lost on some on here, better to leave no room for confusion. Otherwise you end up justifying yourself or making excuses again when they come back down the line thinking it was just that you were busy or some other reason that no longer applies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just say it's been lovely chatting to you but your not what I'm looking for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Block

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By *onnie And Clyde9070Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

"Thanks for all your responses guys, we had a feeling that it would just be a case of being blunt but its good to hear that people agree on this.

Some people become quite abusive and insulting just to make themselves feel better. They hurl an infantile message at you then block you. Pathetic really.

So we tend to give a polite no thanks then block. Saves any negativity and bad feelings.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi guys,

Just wanted to know what the consensus on the most polite way of saying that you don't want to meet with someone from here after you have talked to them for a while but they are eager to meet?

We are still new to this so would love to hear your thoughts as we don't want to be rude or sound like jerks

Thanks!"

Just tell them straight. Nothing worse than bullshitters

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just say it's been lovely chatting to you but your not what I'm looking for. "

^^^^ this

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Honesty is the best policy.

If they get shitty block.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No need to overcomplicate it - which would also send the message that not only are you rejecting them but you don't think they'd be able to deal with the rejection. We all have to deal with it on here. Being polite but blunt is best. Personally I think an unexplained block is unnecessarily brutal.

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By *oloSoSmileMan
over a year ago

Chippenham

I have been on the receiving end, and if I get a thanks but no thanks, I normally reply to thank them for the honesty and wish them luck on here.

That way if I ever bump into them in the future it will be chilled and friendly. No point in falling out with people.

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By *ANDA2Couple
over a year ago

Henley Arden

As others have said, honesty and directness is the key. A simple ' thanks but we have decided not to meet' followed by a ' wish you well ' message is the best.

Also you don't have to give a reason.

Sometimes when you tell them you are not going to meet the other party ask for a reason.( more a single guy thing than couple). This just opens the fold gates to back and forth messages.

So if someone asks why just say you don't give reasons.

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By *thena400Woman
over a year ago

Dublin

I agree: subtlety and politeness are mostly lost here. My habit of trying to be polite has lead to a few grief sessions where the lad tries very hard to get specific reasons why we won't be meeting (or won't be fucking if we did meet socially). A simple and terse reply - "Thanks for the chats; we've ruled out a meeting. Happy Fabbing" - with no follow ups, replies, or back and forth, seems best. (Wish I'd learned that many months ago!)

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