FabSwingers.com forum: Kissing

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post. I have an issue with my partner kissing another women I see it as something between people with feelings. I understand to some it's considered a must or just something that happens when you have sex. My partner doesn't see it the way I do and I'm just not sure if I'm being prude or just nieve.

Any help or advice is greatful

Bella x

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By *wisted2000Woman
over a year ago

under my rock cleethorpes

Not at all, some will disagree but at the end of the day it's what you're both comfortable with as a couple

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

If you don't feel comfortable with it then you just don't.

Did you set ground rules when you started swinging?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Not at all, some will disagree but at the end of the day it's what you're both comfortable with as a couple "

Thankyou, I guess I see it as something that means something and to me swinging isn't just a quick fuck it's just not with feelings. I don't enjoy the idea but in the heat of the moment I know my feelings might change or I also know my partner would want to anyway as much as he respects my feelings.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just do whatever you're comfortable with as a couple , discuss with each other what the boundaries are . As time go on in this game your original boundaries may shift or they may not , the main thing is is to speak openly to each other then when on a meet all is clear from the start

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If you don't feel comfortable with it then you just don't.

Did you set ground rules when you started swinging?"

Yes but kissing has always been something we had different opinions on. Even though we would both never put each other in a situation we felt uncomfortable with its finding the in between.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just do whatever you're comfortable with as a couple , discuss with each other what the boundaries are . As time go on in this game your original boundaries may shift or they may not , the main thing is is to speak openly to each other then when on a meet all is clear from the start "

Thankyou I appreciate any advice or guidance sometimes an outside opinion brings things back into perspective

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

your relationship comes before any swinging activity and each person should respect the others boundaries. If you feel uncomfortable with him kissing someone else he should accept and respect that in my opinion.

Don't let anyone tell you that you're naive or prudish because you feel a certain way about something.

First rule of swinging for us is never do anything just because others do.

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By *entomillaMan
over a year ago

norwich

Exactly!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kissing can be far more intimate and intense than bumpin' uglies.

As a general middle-ground-compromise all my LTR partners have been comfortable with a; the female initiates kissing after asking the 'owning' female partner first; status quo. We openly discuss our comfort levels before agreeing to start the hay rolling and never had a problem.

With the girls verbally asking first it made it so much hotter. It also opens the door for them to say no and suggest they do something else with their (or his) lips and tongue.

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

Swinging is down to you and your partner.

You set the rules.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We agree that you do what you feel comfortable with. Our argument would be that kissing someone is part of sex and intimacy and it is kind of strange saying that you can't kiss but feel free to shag each other.

We utterly trust each other and get turned on by each of us being as naughty as we can but it wasn't always like that.

We went through stages of jealousy on both sides and stopped swinging altogether for various times but we are now much stronger for it. Swinging is an ongoing discussion to help strengthen both of you, as long as you are honest about your feelings - which you are - you can't go far wrong x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thankyou I appreciate any advice or guidance sometimes an outside opinion brings things back into perspective "

You're very welcome

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"your relationship comes before any swinging activity and each person should respect the others boundaries. If you feel uncomfortable with him kissing someone else he should accept and respect that in my opinion.

Don't let anyone tell you that you're naive or prudish because you feel a certain way about something.

First rule of swinging for us is never do anything just because others do.

"
nothing more to add to this really. Spot on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We originally didn't kiss as we felt the same but as time went on, we both felt comfortable with each other doing it. You can always kiss each other as your playing with another couple.

Do whatever you feel comfortable with, you certainly don't want to feel jealous or unhappy about something.

You both however need to agree and set your ground rules.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thankyou everyone for your advice and general opinions. I think it's something that me and my partner need to discuss together. He appreciates me being open and honest as I can be a little insecure but that's my nature and I've no trust issues with him so that helps a lot. I value all your replies and have taken a lot from them.

Bella

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By *axandbooCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

With us boo is still quite new to playing with another woman so totally understand where you are on it all.

Ultimately its always been easier for us to go ahead with set limits and the discuss afterwards how things felt, its surprising how after one or two meets your mind opens to other ideas.

Go at a pace your both comfortable with and when your ready to go further into thing take those steps together

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By *erdyCoupleCouple
over a year ago

telford

G (My partner) doesn't want me kissing other guys if it's in a 3some.

It's his preference and he has aired this to me.

Everyone has to feel comfortable in these situations, and what feels right for you is all that matters.

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By *onnie And Clyde9070Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

We do whatever we're both comfortable with. Nothing more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don't actually swing but I just wanted to say how you feel is the most important thing above all else. Your partner should listen to you, kissing is an incredibly intimate act. Swinging should be firmly agreed on, we go to a club only been 5 times but we've seen so many arguements between couples or bickering. We have even consoled a young man in the toilet that was almost crying and throwing up in the sink on our first visit. Either you both agree or you'll be counting on trouble in your relationship even a breakup.

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By *otgirl32Woman
over a year ago

Ashton Under Lyne

"I'm not sure if this is the right place to post. I have an issue with my partner kissing another women I see it as something between people with feelings. I understand to some it's considered a must or just something that happens when you have sex. My partner doesn't see it the way I do and I'm just not sure if I'm being prude or just nieve.

Any help or advice is greatful

Bella x "

You will find differing opinions on this so the bottomline is you should swing the way YOU feel comfortable. Everyone has said that and I agree. HOWEVER, since there are different opinions on this it is important that you be openminded and flexible too, i.e., your partner likes to kiss other women - you may ask him not to at present (he should listen) but you should be open to letting him in the future as you become more secure/comfortable/whatever. Otherwise you'll be depriving him of something just to satisfy your own insecurities.

Here's MY view on kissing (others may completely disagree). For me sex IS kissing. It may seem odd to you but when I kiss a man or woman that is the peak of my erotic experience with that person. Nothing turns me on more than kissing. The fucking is icing on the cake. Putting it differently, if I had to choose ONE - a cock in me vs. kissing, I'd go with kissing because I can always wank myself but I can't reproduce the kissing experience. For me, I can't ever fuck someone without loads of passionate kissing. I agree with many, kissing is THE most intimate experience between two individuals, far more than fucking. However, unlike some others I do NOT regard kissing as a reflection of exclusive love, for me it's an integral part of sex. While I don't have a husband or partner at this point in time, I'd be mega turned on by watching him kiss other men and women, not threatened at all.

Best to you

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By *arehamMan
over a year ago

handforth

That's up to you you both have to agree what to do nothing worse when you cannot agree it can turn bad

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

Its a tough one,we couldnt meet anyone who doesnt kiss.Its all part of the build up and would feel too clinical,but we have seen profiles where they state no kissing on it

Maybe that could be an option?

Miss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op do you kiss others? See we are a couple that only one kisses by choice... I dont enjoy it. Even though I tried because its something visually Mr finds very pleasing. I enjoy seeing Mr kiss other women though.

If you dont like it he should respect your views x

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By *wisted2000Woman
over a year ago

under my rock cleethorpes

Could you discuss with your partner, and potential meets, kisses elsewhere instead? I.e. On the neck or cheeks, just not on the lips, maybe that would help?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you kiss others?? We wouldnt meet a couple if they didnt kiss.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any help or advice is greatful

Bella x "

I comepletly understand this

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By *ntnCleoCouple
over a year ago

Dortmund (Germany) might travel!

OP - it's not strange at all to feel that way. Cleo doesn't like being kissed because it is too intimate and that is something for us. I don't mind and find it a turn on to see her kiss a guy, but I respect how she feels. Likewise she finds missionary a little intimate and prefers other positions with strangers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally, kissing gets me excited and makes the sex better and easier. It's all just part of the process for me, but I can understand that it means different things to different people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think this is a difficult one. If he kisses the ladies he has sex with then you will feel uncomfortable. But if he adheres to sex with no kissing then he may not enjoy the experience. Someone is going to be unhappy. I personally don't share other people's views that if 'I don't want it then it doesn't happen, end of', because that would be potentially denying my husband pleasure, and his pleasure if of huge importance to me. I'm not saying people should do things they don't want to, but if an open mind is maintained and small steps are taken, it's incredible how things evolve. I really dug my heals in in the early days of us swinging regarding activities I was not prepared to entertain. It wasn't wrong because that was the space I was in at the time. But I'm glad I didnt make rigid rules, we'd have missed out on so much. So my advise is take your time, take it slow, and constantly re-evaluate both your feelings as time goes by and experiences are had. I suspect you will find that if your partner is having a good time then you will get pleasure from his enjoyment.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swinging only works with couples where they agree limits and stay within them.

If kissing is an issue for you, then he can't do it.

Quite a few prospective playmates, me included, won't play without kissing but swinging is your game. Play it with people who play your way. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You've set your rules so others must stick to them. If you've a no kissing rules then it's got to be respected.

Kissing I find is extremely intimate.

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