FabSwingers.com forum: Where they start asking for bareback in the middle of sex

By *heekyBethany OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester

Just had an uncomfortable experience.

My profile states clearly no bareback. Leading up to the meet he did say he didn't like condoms and I kept stating condoms. He even got tested and showed me the text during the session.

During the meeting I could see how the condoms did reduce him. And I sympathied.

So he then tried after one of my orgasms to stick him cock in with no protection.

This was fucking difficult to handle as was having a lovely time up until that point.

I realise now I should have rub a mile before the meet but hindsight is a great thing.

What have others done?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you answered it, learn from the experience and don't meet people who don't whole heartedly agree with safe sex only. Some people seem to think everything is up for negotiation or we'll change our minds if we're turned on enough. No means no.

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By *ldhillhotwifeCouple
over a year ago

Old Hill

"I think you answered it, learn from the experience and don't meet people who don't whole heartedly agree with safe sex only. Some people seem to think everything is up for negotiation or we'll change our minds if we're turned on enough. No means no."

Totally agree, if you say condoms and he starts to negotiate, walk away.

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By *heekyBethany OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester

I realise now I should have rub a mile before the meet but hindsight is a great thing.

Whoops should have said run a mile. Buy maybe stayed home and wanked was actually in my thoughts there!

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Next time run lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fuck politeness when someone is disrespecting your boundaries. They obviously were only concerned about a good time for themselves and don't respect you enough as a person so never feel timid about being the one to raise holy hell. No means NO!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just had an uncomfortable experience.

My profile states clearly no bareback. Leading up to the meet he did say he didn't like condoms and I kept stating condoms. He even got tested and showed me the text during the session.

During the meeting I could see how the condoms did reduce him. And I sympathied.

So he then tried after one of my orgasms to stick him cock in with no protection.

This was fucking difficult to handle as was having a lovely time up until that point.

I realise now I should have rub a mile before the meet but hindsight is a great thing.

What have others done? "

did his feet touch the ground on the way out? I hope you kicked him out goid and proper...

He 'stealthed' you...its a criminal offence in some countries akin to sexual assault and should be here too

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By *lceeWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Him asking once? Fine...you might have changed your mind - people do. What he did after that was well out of order. Sorry you had to go through that, it's a horrible experience.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell him you only use condoms for his protection, because you're riddled! He will soon change his mind then.

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By *heekyBethany OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester

Thanks for the messages. They are helping me sort it out in my head. It's differently a learning experience. I just thought I was going to love have have fabulous sex and not this side of it.

I think i was being a bit naive.

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By *edicinneedMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"Thanks for the messages. They are helping me sort it out in my head. It's differently a learning experience. I just thought I was going to love have have fabulous sex and not this side of it.

I think i was being a bit naive. "

Condoms also affect me and that's why I prefer bb sex. I always approach honestly and openly. If condoms are required then there is no further discussion. Irrespective of whether you enjoy bb or protected, boundaries must be honoured and no means no. This site is about sex and fun within our personal limits. He clearly did not respect your boundaries; consequently I would suggest he did not respect you. Such a shame you were harassed into doing something you clearly were not happy in doing. Hopefully your future meets will be more respectful of you.

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By *edicinneedMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

[Removed by poster at 28/08/17 08:23:04]

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By *edicinneedMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

If you don't want to be harassed by bb preferring guys make sure you put 'safe sex' in your interests area of your profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you don't want to be harassed by bb preferring guys make sure you put 'safe sex' in your interests area of your profile. "

Some knobheads will still ignore....but good idea as a start!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tell him you only use condoms for his protection, because you're riddled! He will soon change his mind then."

Half funny half yeahhhh do it!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If he said before even meeting he didn't like condoms I would've taken that as a red flag and not met him.

I had a meet start asking for bareback halfway through. I said I wasn't feeling well and left.

I didn't confront him directly because I don't think it's safe for a lone woman to tell a horny man a direct "no". I think it's much safer to make a random excuse and leave.

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By *heekyBethany OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester

Thanks SteelHeels, that is good advice x

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

This has also happened to me in a MMF situation, I caught one guy whipping off the condom so I stopped the action. I was very honest about it and got dressed and left but thankfully I managed to get away with no problems. However in hindsight I could have been in serious danger there!!

It's so disrespectful and also some people think bare back is safe which is ridiculous if you have insisted on safe sex.

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By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

Really sorry to hear about this experience OP, he should have respected your wishes, it's not all about number one.

Hope you gave his groin a severe talking too with your knee?

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By *all-Eddies QosCouple
over a year ago

wirral

I have been 'stealthed' before. There was no alarm bells during our messages, nor chatting in person when we had a social. It wasn't until we were playing and he went behind me doggy that he must have removed it, cos I'd checked several times.

I have had them come off inside me before now, but this was removed and cast aside. After he finished, I felt the unmistakable feeling of cum dripping out.

I threw that fucker out the house as he stood. Naked, with his clothes in his arms, and his shoes thrown into the street as I slammed the door.

Thankfully, I was tested quickly and all was well.

Horrific what people are up to

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By *ingerrrrWoman
over a year ago

Meath

I've been in this situation where he thought "I'd let him fuck me without a condom"

It hadn't been discussed as I assumed he wasn't a person taking risks.

I should have gotten dressed and left but I felt I couldn't get out of the situation gently. (He was a very big guy)

I had some with me and after 3 attempts finally got him hard enough to use it. I got out of there pretty fast after.

I hope never to be in that situation again but if I do I hope I can literally walk away.

To the OP, not all guys are like that. Hope it hasn't tainted your view of the scene.

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By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

"I have been 'stealthed' before. There was no alarm bells during our messages, nor chatting in person when we had a social. It wasn't until we were playing and he went behind me doggy that he must have removed it, cos I'd checked several times.

I have had them come off inside me before now, but this was removed and cast aside. After he finished, I felt the unmistakable feeling of cum dripping out.

I threw that fucker out the house as he stood. Naked, with his clothes in his arms, and his shoes thrown into the street as I slammed the door.

Thankfully, I was tested quickly and all was well.

Horrific what people are up to"

Full credit to you. Well done.

For me and forgive me if I sound dramatic here, but it's tantamount to sexual assault.

Just reading your account made my blood boil.

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By *icplshropsCouple
over a year ago

Rock

[Removed by poster at 28/08/17 09:31:03]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Am I one of the few guys that like condoms? I've used them since I was a teenager and struggle to understand why a lot of men hate them? I've heard all the excuses before - "it affects me", "it doesn't feel the same" etc etc... It's all bollocks....rubber and latex... What's not to like!

Oral sex granted is a little bit meh with a rubber on but it still wouldn't bother me. Anyone (men or women) who doesn't take their own responsibility for safe sex is a turn off for me... I've had the opposite where a lady has said that there's no need as she's on the pill...I simply make my excuses and leave.

OP, as others have said you live and learn... Put it down as a learning experience and move on.

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By *icplshropsCouple
over a year ago

Rock

We all become wiser through experience and I commend you for standing up to him. It's best to state on your profile safe sex only and no bareback. Howerver, sometimes people still ignore that.

We met a couple socially and when it came down to discussing boundaries and safe sex, the male began to lecture me how they only do bareback, because transference of stis can still happen through foreplay, as well as bareback sex - so what's the point?? Hello.. the transference of stis such as HIV, can greatly reduced its transference, because of the use of condoms! There was no mention on their profile for bareback only. Suffice to say, we didn't play with them!

And they've either blocked us or left the site.

People who claim they've been tested and are sti free, are usually only clear up to 2-4 weeks before the test; 3-6 months for HIV!

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By *r_Chips669Man
over a year ago

Manchester

"Just had an uncomfortable experience.

My profile states clearly no bareback. Leading up to the meet he did say he didn't like condoms and I kept stating condoms. He even got tested and showed me the text during the session.

During the meeting I could see how the condoms did reduce him. And I sympathied.

So he then tried after one of my orgasms to stick him cock in with no protection.

This was fucking difficult to handle as was having a lovely time up until that point.

I realise now I should have rub a mile before the meet but hindsight is a great thing.

What have others done? "

If and when I get a meet which is never these days I always tell the lady up front that I play by her rules and her rules only what he did was disrespectful to you and this site...i only wish I could meet a stunner like you

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By *ustful desiresCouple
over a year ago

We had a person who tried to take off condom whilst doing doggy That was end of meet

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

When he started to 'negotiate', you should've said that if he tries to penetrate you without a condom, the unwanted act is non-consensual sex, and will be treated as such

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By *heekyBethany OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester

"When he started to 'negotiate', you should've said that if he tries to penetrate you without a condom, the unwanted act is non-consensual sex, and will be treated as such

Absolutely, or just said No and no more messages. In the future it's a straight stop talking. It's all over my profile so no surprise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone does that it becomes non consensual. End of story.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fuck politeness when someone is disrespecting your boundaries. They obviously were only concerned about a good time for themselves and don't respect you enough as a person so never feel timid about being the one to raise holy hell. No means NO! "

I agree here. if you said condoms and he doesn't want to use or tries it on without I would have gone mad and I have in the past because he tried to say he was the only one I could do bare with(I walked out on him after that) I wouldn't have cared if he did have a text to say he's clean or whatever. As above No Means No

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By *all-Eddies QosCouple
over a year ago

wirral

I have had them come off inside me before now, but this was removed and cast aside. After he finished, I felt the unmistakable feeling of cum dripping out.

I threw that fucker out the house as he stood. Naked, with his clothes in his arms, and his shoes thrown into the street as I slammed the door.

Thankfully, I was tested quickly and all was well.

Horrific what people are up to

Full credit to you. Well done.

For me and forgive me if I sound dramatic here, but it's tantamount to sexual assault.

Just reading your account made my blood boil."

It's not the worst thing that's happened to me tbh (not on fab,so not gonna mention it)

This was 3 years ago...it has affected me mentally. I've not met via fab since and usually only meet with my partner.

Can you imagine going to the police though?? They'd have laughed you out the station

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Clearly this happens, it's happened to us on meets and we've just stopped play and left

Those that agree to safe sex then try to persuade us otherwise on the meet will be royally fucked up by us, says this on our profile, funny how some people we were in contact with have now dissapeared since we included this on our profile xx

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By *lirty-CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Bexley

Horrendous and one big reason why we don't meet anyone alone. Guys who try to push boundaries and take liberties like that are a disgrace. There's no way any guy would do that to us and get away with it.

Agree with those who say that at that point the sex becomes non-consensual and could be an assault which could lead to very serious repercussions for the person concerned.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with comments. Remember it is your body,if you say safe sex only..and they start to negotiate. .walk away and don't talk to them anymore. Some like it with protection and some do not..so make a big title in your profile no condoms,no sex..period. don't like it,move on. Good luck in your future meets. Take care of yourselves.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

What you have to also be aware of is guys who put on condoms in such a way that they split when they fuck. Guys don't say anything and say afterwards they didn't realise. Which is bollocks. A bloke can always feel it when a condom splits. If condoms have been agreed he should obviously then say it has split and replace it.

The general difficulty, especially for older men, is that for a man condoms do take away a lot of the feeling and make orgasms more difficult. Hence some will push their luck. It obviously goes without saying that you should respect other people's choices and only have condom free sex with people who agree to it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This happens far too often. It should be made a criminal offence. Same thing happened to me, had the embarrassment of asking for morning after pill as not on birth control, and testing straight away and again at 3 months with no sex in between. A stressful time. Thankfully all was ok.

Like a few have said, you consent to sex with a condom, not without.

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By *urboTongue21Man
over a year ago

Walsall

Entirely agree with posts here...it is a matter of respect for other person and if it says safe sex only then that's the rule so take it or leave it. As far as negotiation goes then agree beforehand not during and removal is tantamount to non consensual or assault. Should not be any room for doubt.

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By *izadoCouple
over a year ago

Keighley

I completely sympathise. I was stealthed on two separate occasions when I first began to meet from swinging sites. It did affect me at the time and I felt violated but in my naivety I didn't think I should make a big deal about it because surly it wasn't meant viciously!!!! Several years later and any guy try that on me now and he'd be singing soprano for the rest of his life lol.

I think over time I just got better at understanding and recognising the decent respectful men out there and for me I really spent time getting to know men before meeting and listening to my instincts when they said this one isn't trustworthy.

Take some time now to look after yourself and be kind to you and know it's ok to find this an upsetting experience because no always means no regardless of what stage you're at.

I'd also like to suggest that you report your experience to the site so that they can try to ensure that this guy doesn't get away with something like this again.

Sending huge hugs xxxxx

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By *octor DeleriumMan
over a year ago

Wellingborough

It is a criminal offence.

The Julian Assange v Swedish Prosecution Authority extradition case led the President of the Queens Bench Division to consider the situation in which Mr Assange knew that the appelant would only consent to sexual intercourse if he used a condom.

Rejecting the view that the conclusive presumption in section 76 of the Sexual Offences Act (2003) would apply in these circumstances the President concluded that the "issue of materiality ...can be determined under section 74 rather than section 76".

On the specific facts the President said:

"It would plainly be open to a jury to hold that if the appelant had made clear that she would only consent to sexual intercourse if Mr Assange used a condom, then there would be no consent if, without her consent, he did not use a condom, or removed or tore the condom ..... His conduct in having sexual intercourse without a condom in circumstances where she had made clear she would only have sexual intercourse if he used a condom would therefore amount to an offence under the Sexual Offences Act 2003...."

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By *lirty-CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Bexley

"Entirely agree with posts here...it is a matter of respect for other person and if it says safe sex only then that's the rule so take it or leave it. As far as negotiation goes then agree beforehand not during and removal is tantamount to non consensual or assault. Should not be any room for doubt."

We've had some lovely long term relationships over the years but have also come across quite a few guys who we soon realised weren't interested in what we are looking for and would try to push boundaries. We'd be chatting and they'd ask about bondage for example. We'd confirm that we're not interested in that. Oh OK, would come the reply then a short while after they'd start going on about how they wanted to "tie you up and fuck you so hard up the arse..." or something similar. That's one reason why we only meet guys we've chatted to a fair bit. It soon becomes pretty obvious what sort of person they are and whether they're listening or not. If the alarm bells start ringing we hear them and act accordingly.

Of course hubby being present tends to focus the minds of those we meet but we haven't had any bad meetings at all over the years. On the journey to that point though it's been important to out those who're likely to cause problems of one sort or another and it's usually not too difficult to spot them.

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By *itvclaireTV/TS
over a year ago

Birmingham

I've had it happen in the dark room at a club. Put the condominium on the guy and he went behind to take me doggy style. He seemed to be taking longer than usual. When I reached back the condom had gone. Left him stood there in the dark. Definitely a learning experience though XX

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By *heblackmacMan
over a year ago

Ladywell, Lewisham.

What if some cocks allergic to condoms!!!!

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By *itvclaireTV/TS
over a year ago

Birmingham

"What if some cocks allergic to condoms!!!!"

Latex free condims solve this as it's usually the latex people have an allergy to

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

I think you will learn what people are truly like/after the longer you are here.

If it rung any alarms with me whilst chatting,I would decline the meet.

Its surprising the amount of people who have safe sex on their profile,but try and get bareback .

Go with your instinct and you won't go far wrong.

Miss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think you will learn what people are truly like/after the longer you are here.

If it rung any alarms with me whilst chatting,I would decline the meet.

Its surprising the amount of people who have safe sex on their profile,but try and get bareback .

Go with your instinct and you won't go far wrong.

Miss"

That is so true. Can't believe how naive and the crap I put up with when I first started going to clubs. Had this too OP. Tho it makes you realise how selfish people are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What if some cocks allergic to condoms!!!!"

I make sure my condom bag has non latex and a variety of non latex ones in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've had it happen in the dark room at a club. Put the condominium on the guy and he went behind to take me doggy style. He seemed to be taking longer than usual. When I reached back the condom had gone. Left him stood there in the dark. Definitely a learning experience though XX"

that's why I take a torch with me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What if some cocks allergic to condoms!!!!"

you tell someone from the start and they can make an informed decision if they want to meet you...its not that hard really, is it?

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By *ob198XaMan
over a year ago

teleford

I have had them come off inside me before now, but this was removed and cast aside. After he finished, I felt the unmistakable feeling of cum dripping out.

I threw that fucker out the house as he stood. Naked, with his clothes in his arms, and his shoes thrown into the street as I slammed the door.

Thankfully, I was tested quickly and all was well.

Horrific what people are up to"

In my book what he did is only a fag papers width from being r pe, that is not what you consented too. He deserves a call from the police!

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By *heekyBethany OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester

Thanks everyone this have helped me loads. I was thinking it's not that bad, why make a fuss ect ECT. But it is that bad and I have fallen for it.

A massive learning curve for me.

I just wanted to feel empowered in my sexual needs and this has soured it for me.

Thanks to all your help and hopefully I will find the good ones soon.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"What if some cocks allergic to condoms!!!!"
there are condoms available for this, so no excuse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks everyone this have helped me loads. I was thinking it's not that bad, why make a fuss ect ECT. But it is that bad and I have fallen for it.

A massive learning curve for me.

I just wanted to feel empowered in my sexual needs and this has soured it for me.

Thanks to all your help and hopefully I will find the good ones soon. "

Hopefully you will have better experiences in the future with respectful men.

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Take your time with the men, sound them out properly, any little niggle you have then move on. I have to say that not all men on here are like that but once you find a good one you'll not want to share him lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Take your time with the men, sound them out properly, any little niggle you have then move on. I have to say that not all men on here are like that but once you find a good one you'll not want to share him lol.

Unfortunately single men all tend to get tarred with the same brush. Fortunately not all of them are losers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The amount of guys that actually turn up without condoms is unreal.

You can learn from this Hun.

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By *ob198XaMan
over a year ago

teleford

"The amount of guys that actually turn up without condoms is unreal.

You can learn from this Hun. "
. So the wives don't ask awkward questions when they find one in a forgotten pocket

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"The amount of guys that actually turn up without condoms is unreal.

You can learn from this Hun. . So the wives don't ask awkward questions when they find one in a forgotten pocket

Most keep them in their car boots! No joke they do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just had an uncomfortable experience.

My profile states clearly no bareback. Leading up to the meet he did say he didn't like condoms and I kept stating condoms. He even got tested and showed me the text during the session.

During the meeting I could see how the condoms did reduce him. And I sympathied.

So he then tried after one of my orgasms to stick him cock in with no protection.

This was fucking difficult to handle as was having a lovely time up until that point.

I realise now I should have rub a mile before the meet but hindsight is a great thing.

What have others done? "

At the point where you said, "Leading up to the meet", when his expectations didn't meet your requirements, the problem started when you met him. It was incompatible at the start.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Looking through this thread seems to be lots of complaints about guys whoever possibly our worst experience was with a couple and the lady tried to cajole hubby into fucking her without a condom, whispering in his ear etc, made him very uncomfortable, I don't think this is unusual either, so before you all just bash guys it's women guilty too x

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By *onnie And Clyde9070Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

Female here. Currently it's only myself that plays, but for this very reason my partner is always present in the same room. So far it's only been good experiences with wonderful people. But, as this thread highlights, there are some selfish/sneaky/dangerous males out there who have no consideration whatsoever for the wishes of the women they meet. The "no really means yes" mentality.

Any male who tried anything dodgy here wouldn't be shown the door. They'd be getting thrown out of the bedroom window and landing on a concrete driveway several feet below.

Any non consensual act committed during sex should be made a criminal offence.

Rant over.

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I wouldn't want to be any guy who tried to bb me... We always play in the same room and Cal has faster reactions than me

Thankfully all the guts we have played with have been totally respectful of our wishes.

Nita

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

Guys....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Guys...."
I know right... And I am one. It is quite an unacceptable thing to do. And then some of us will moan about not getting meets.

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By *appy squirrelWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

it doesn't matter what it is- if any party doesn't want something then it has to be respected.doesn't matter if its condom related or not. I wouldn't do anything my meet doesn't want and expect the same.

and if "negotiations" start before the actual meet its always a warning sign for me.

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By *eeunicornWoman
over a year ago

dundee

Just to add to what some others have said, it is an offence for someone to do that without permission, knowledge or consent and can be reported to the police. As it's a sexual partner (in one way or another) they treat it as a domestic which means they'd treat it more seriously. Being practical it may not go to them being charged but certainly scaring them and a police record of them doing that if they tried or did again to another person.

Good for you speaking out about it too, and everyone else that has, it isn't ok and people should be vocal about that

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By *all-Eddies QosCouple
over a year ago

wirral

What would you tell the police?

Met a man on fab, he's called bigdick4u or John. And he removed the condom during sex.....I did not consent to this.

I'm not trying to pick holes, but are we asking for I.D before we get down to it?

How do we get enough information to make sure we could go to the police?

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By *eeunicornWoman
over a year ago

dundee

"What would you tell the police?

Met a man on fab, he's called bigdick4u or John. And he removed the condom during sex.....I did not consent to this.

I'm not trying to pick holes, but are we asking for I.D before we get down to it?

How do we get enough information to make sure we could go to the police? "

I'm not sure how much others know about their meets but I have full names and phone number and an idea of where they live. Police can do a lot with even just a telephone number. And yes if need be then they can go through fab and request the info for the profile holder and take details from that. Including IP address. Sure you'd have to say where met etc. That's why it's your choice to go. But even just knowing and saying to a person that is illegal can make a difference. Good to know your rights

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we were talking to a man on here that said at first he was in too safe sex then as we chatted it changed too wanting to fuck the mrs without a rubber on,his excuse is as we are new to swinging we would be clean,hes been swinging for some time

should we stick to our guns no condom no sex or go ahead without one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

some people can not read or just go past the profile to the photos

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *eeunicornWoman
over a year ago

dundee

"we were talking to a man on here that said at first he was in too safe sex then as we chatted it changed too wanting to fuck the mrs without a rubber on,his excuse is as we are new to swinging we would be clean,hes been swinging for some time

should we stick to our guns no condom no sex or go ahead without one

Should totally stick to your guns. You don't know he's clean and you guys have your own rules and that should work for people or they aren't the right person. Sounds a bit like he said it at the start to get a foot in now trying to change it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If safe sex is your rule or condition then stick to it, a while back we had a single male play with Jayne. He agreed to safe sex and stuck with it.

Had he of pestered Jayne for Bareback, he'd of been shown the door. Had he of tried it he would have been ejected from our home in a less than courteous manner.

As for what the Police can do, they can access any IT records connected to the Internet and any Mobile phone records, so just because someone is registered as Dickpump1 does not mean a thing, they can still be tracked and found. IP addresses are recorded and stored for up to 5 years in some cases along with all written text.

M & J

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By *edicinneedMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

should we stick to our guns no condom no sex or go ahead without one

I would offer that you have your own boundaries. Boundaries can change/ develop over time just the same as your fantasies. Bottom line on bb sex is that it is always risky. There are ways to detect a bullshitter. Those of us who prefer bb sex do get checked; myself every 6 weeks. Results are sent by text. If you ask for a letter and they say yes they will bring it. They are a billshitter. To get a letter the NHS charges £30 and is really only used by those in the porn industry hence why the NHS charges for the letter. Hope this helps.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Temptation, heat of the moment is always there OP....... play the long game ( survival ) and be safe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

should we stick to our guns no condom no sex or go ahead without one

so he's happy that he will be at less risk but doesn't give a shit about you both? the only people who can take responsibility for your sexual health is you...

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By *axandbooCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

If someone pulled that on boo then they would be leaving via the emergency exit...their choice if i open the window first!!!

To go against any ones boundaries is not just disrespectful but can be taken as sexual assault in some aspects

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *lue9753Man
over a year ago

Oldham

Kick him the the bollocks for not replying your wishes you say no bareback for a reason. Like you say hindsight is a powerful thing

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By *wisted2000Woman
over a year ago

under my rock cleethorpes

There's nothing I can say that hasn't already been said but I'm sending huge hugs, if you need to talk I'm sure anyone who's posted here, including me, will be happy to lend an ear xxx

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By *andy6677Man
over a year ago

crewe

He was an insenstive idiot by doing that no bareback means that! Id never do it to anyone regardless of loss of sensation xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People are prepared to push and push on here with blatant disregard and repspect , and it's repugnant , we really feel for you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not cool

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By *itofamouthfullMan
over a year ago

cotswolds/herefordshire

Next time tell him to lie down and close his eyes and say you'll do it if you go on top......then just as he relaxed and ready for you punch the twat in the balls and tell him to F off!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you don't want to be harassed by bb preferring guys make sure you put 'safe sex' in your interests area of your profile. "

I agree.. If you don't put safe sex it could be misinterpreted.

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By *itofamouthfullMan
over a year ago

cotswolds/herefordshire

"If you don't want to be harassed by bb preferring guys make sure you put 'safe sex' in your interests area of your profile.

I agree.. If you don't put safe sex it could be misinterpreted."

Her profile stated safe sex and she said she doesn't do bare back?? What the hell?! no man just has the right to have sex with a woman bare back! Even if the profile doesn't say safe sex you should still assume that what she wants unless she specifically asks for unprotected!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I were a woman I de his Micky off simple

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

I would of run a mile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People are prepared to push and push on here with blatant disregard and repspect , and it's repugnant , we really feel for you x "

its not just on here, apparently there are whole communities of men discussing how to get away with stealthing and swapping tips. These are men who think it is their “right” to “spread their seed” with every woman they have sex with. One man, for example, has published a “comprehensive guide” to committing the act. It's been made illegal in Switzerland and there has been a conviction for it

In the UK, the the Istanbul Convention, which aims to bring violence against women - including all non-consensual acts of a sexual nature - was ratified earlier this year, so stealthing would definitely come under that.

taken from an article in the Independent in May

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This

Totally disrespectful and only thinking of themselves! Run for the hills.

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By *lirty-CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Bexley

It's quite evident that you can put anything you like in your profile and there are those who will either not bother to read it or just ignore it. We regularly have guys tell us we don't want what we've asked for - we really want them and what they're seeking. For these people, any mention of safe sex in a profile means little or nothing. You see these guys believe that the women they meet just won't be able to resist. They're so exceptional that any thoughts of safe sex will be forgotten as the female inevitably loses any silly inhibitions and begs for more, harder, faster, riskier... Over the years we've lost count of how many times guys have ignored what we've told them and persisted in trying to push boundaries and set agendas which are not acceptable to us. That's been before we've even met them! Needless to say things don't go any further with such people. Thankfully over the years we've found a few really decent respectful guys with whom we've had a lot of fun so yes they do exist. You just have to find them.

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By *etterryseeMan
over a year ago

near Swindon

Echo everything said here - your body your rules - no negotiation!

Glad you're ok and no harm done but agree with others - red flag!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Echo everything said here - your body your rules - no negotiation!

Glad you're ok and no harm done but agree with others - red flag!"

Also echo: trust gut instinct every time: if you have any doubts at all about someone, move on.

To a reasonable, sane person, it's not an insult, just an acknowledgement of incompibility.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd gouge the fuckers eyes out

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By *losbMan
over a year ago

gloucester

"What you have to also be aware of is guys who put on condoms in such a way that they split when they fuck. Guys don't say anything and say afterwards they didn't realise. Which is bollocks. A bloke can always feel it when a condom splits. If condoms have been agreed he should obviously then say it has split and replace it.

What happened is totally out of order and a major lack of respect for OP. If he didn't like to use protection then he should not of had the meet, not been pushed and not made her feel uncomfortable in any way, but.... a guy cannot always feel when a condom has split and might not realise straight away if it slips off ....

The general difficulty, especially for older men, is that for a man condoms do take away a lot of the feeling andmake orgasms more difficult. Hence some will push their luck. It obviously goes without saying that you should respect other people's choices and only have condom free sex with people who agree to it. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

out of order really - the test result means naffall unless you know for certain hes been nowhere else since the test and yourself - and personally if the no condom thing was such an issue i wouldnt have got to the sex stage with him -

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd gouge the fuckers eyes out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell him that you have been to get tested and have a nasty dose of something itchy tell him that he better get himself down to the clap clinic asap other wise his dick might fall off.

A session with the std nurse poking a cotton bud down his piss hole will make him think twice in future

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By *otgirl32Woman
over a year ago

Ashton Under Lyne

To the OP:

I'm the opposite to most of you, I prefer BB sex. I choose my partners carefully. Yes I understand the pros and cons, it's my informed choice and I'm still standing.

That said, what he did was a gross violation. You agreed to protected sex and he tried to do something else. He's lucky you didn't snip his willy off. I'd probably do that to a lover who tried to put his cock in my arse, anal is a total NO for me. Luckily almost no one has tried but some time ago one did and didn't do very well after that

Hugs to you

Gail

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had this happen at a recent meet i honestly felt to uncomfortable to say anything...later i messaged him about it and his response was just well i didnt see u chucking the condom on its not just upto thr guy.....charming he apparently only does safe sex but has said if he thinks he can trust a lass he'll not bother....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I had this happen at a recent meet i honestly felt to uncomfortable to say anything...later i messaged him about it and his response was just well i didnt see u chucking the condom on its not just upto thr guy.....charming he apparently only does safe sex but has said if he thinks he can trust a lass he'll not bother.... "

So considering that chlamidia is often symptomless and very easy to catch it’s not possible to tell if some one has it just by looking at them.

For casual encounters it’s just not worth the hassle of having to get tested all the time.

Bareback sex is much better than wearing a condom but wearing a condom is much better than having a dose.

If some one regularly goes with out a nodder the chances are high they have been infected

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So considering that chlamidia is often symptomless and very easy to catch it’s not possible to tell if some one has it just by looking at them.

For casual encounters it’s just not worth the hassle of having to get tested all the time.

Bareback sex is much better than wearing a condom but wearing a condom is much better than having a dose.

If some one regularly goes with out a nodder the chances are high they have been infected "

I know luckily im ok but just stating well if i think their clean ill go for it is laughable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So considering that chlamidia is often symptomless and very easy to catch it’s not possible to tell if some one has it just by looking at them.

For casual encounters it’s just not worth the hassle of having to get tested all the time.

Bareback sex is much better than wearing a condom but wearing a condom is much better than having a dose.

If some one regularly goes with out a nodder the chances are high they have been infected

I know luckily im ok but just stating well if i think their clean ill go for it is laughable"

It’s like playing Russian roulette with fannies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So considering that chlamidia is often symptomless and very easy to catch it’s not possible to tell if some one has it just by looking at them.

For casual encounters it’s just not worth the hassle of having to get tested all the time.

Bareback sex is much better than wearing a condom but wearing a condom is much better than having a dose.

If some one regularly goes with out a nodder the chances are high they have been infected

I know luckily im ok but just stating well if i think their clean ill go for it is laughable

It’s like playing Russian roulette with fannies "

I just replied with sorry about the itch lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So considering that chlamidia is often symptomless and very easy to catch it’s not possible to tell if some one has it just by looking at them.

For casual encounters it’s just not worth the hassle of having to get tested all the time.

Bareback sex is much better than wearing a condom but wearing a condom is much better than having a dose.

If some one regularly goes with out a nodder the chances are high they have been infected

I know luckily im ok but just stating well if i think their clean ill go for it is laughable

It’s like playing Russian roulette with fannies

I just replied with sorry about the itch lol"

Hehe

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

"Thanks for the messages. They are helping me sort it out in my head. It's differently a learning experience. I just thought I was going to love have have fabulous sex and not this side of it.

I think i was being a bit naive. "
be gentle with you, it is a learning curve, now you know, you can be confident in getting what you need x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I speak for myself. I do like bb. But If a woman I'm meeting only likes safe sex then safe sex it is. It doesn't feel the same true . but it's not that different or difficult to use a damn rubber. Seriously.. But I would never disrespect someone to that extent. That's low, rude... Reading this has made me absolutely crossed. Why would someone do this?? Thats the kind of people that ruin the fun for everyone. Boundaries should always be met. No exception. Like all the others have said use it as a learning and move forward

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" I don't think it's safe for a lone woman to tell a horny man a direct "no". I think it's much safer to make a random excuse and leave. "

This makes me sad

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