FabSwingers.com forum: What do ppl prefer?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Is it better to not reply to a message if you're not interested or send back a thanks but no thanks? What do other fabbers do?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depending on the message decides on if I reply or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's be fully honest, it depends on the nature of the message.

If it's a polite, well written, and acknowledges the content of our profile....we/I will reply with a no thanks.

If it's a one liner, or from someone who's clearly not bothered to read the profile, it goes straight to the delete bin unanswered.

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

"That's be fully honest, it depends on the nature of the message.

If it's a polite, well written, and acknowledges the content of our profile....we/I will reply with a no thanks.

If it's a one liner, or from someone who's clearly not bothered to read the profile, it goes straight to the delete bin unanswered."

Ditto

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By *ungBlackTopMan
over a year ago

salford

I always send a thanks but no thanks. I think people hate that more than just ignoring and deleting though as I get more abuse when I do that rather than when I just delete their message. you can't win but who cares haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That's be fully honest, it depends on the nature of the message.

If it's a polite, well written, and acknowledges the content of our profile....we/I will reply with a no thanks.

If it's a one liner, or from someone who's clearly not bothered to read the profile, it goes straight to the delete bin unanswered."

Exactly that

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Up till now i've just not replied but it only takes one person to be different. You cant please everyone. Just didnt think one was mannerless or rude for not replying.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"That's be fully honest, it depends on the nature of the message.

If it's a polite, well written, and acknowledges the content of our profile....we/I will reply with a no thanks.

If it's a one liner, or from someone who's clearly not bothered to read the profile, it goes straight to the delete bin unanswered."

I shall be adopting this practice. Thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No reply says it all for me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I always send a thanks but no thanks. I think people hate that more than just ignoring and deleting though as I get more abuse when I do that rather than when I just delete their message. you can't win but who cares haha"

I agree.

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By *iSubSlutWoman
over a year ago

Bedford

When all you get sometimes in a message is 'hey' or 'hi' it gets very tedious to reply with a 'no thanks', which is actually more letters than the original message....

So.... I'm a polite gal, I try to reply to every initial message, but I make it a rule to use less letters than the original note - it can get quite difficult!!!

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By *irestorm 500Couple
over a year ago

coventry

"Depending on the message decides on if I reply or not. "

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By *adgodCouple
over a year ago

Greensburg

"That's be fully honest, it depends on the nature of the message.

If it's a polite, well written, and acknowledges the content of our profile....we/I will reply with a no thanks.

If it's a one liner, or from someone who's clearly not bothered to read the profile, it goes straight to the delete bin unanswered."

Agreed. This.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it better to not reply to a message if you're not interested or send back a thanks but no thanks? What do other fabbers do? "

If they've put effort in and it's not a cut and paste, I reply.

If it's a zero effort message I don't put the effort in to replying.

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By *lceeWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Oh god, I'm super harsh - last time I was on, I tried to do the whole 'base it on the message' thing. I got so stressed out, trying to figure out which fell into which category, and then some of those super lovely people decided to respond to my thanks but not thanks and I couldn't clear my inbox so I left fab.

Crazy, right?

So now, before I read their message, I check out their profile. Don't have SM in their interests, only a couple of lines of text or I just don't think they're on my wavelength? I delete the message unread. Same if the line that I can see of their message doesn't grab me.

I know that seems horrible and if I imagine what that must be like, to check your sent messages and see 'deleted unread' when you've put time and effort into it...ugh, it makes me feel horrible. But at the same time, it's probably the only thing keeping me from burn out on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We always reply to messages or winks, but only if it's clear the sender has read our profile and match what we have expressed we're looking for.

If they don't then we just block.

If people don't offer us the courtesy of going to the trouble to read our profile, then we feel no obligation to offer any such courtesies back.

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By *ighland gentlemanMan
over a year ago

Ardgay

"Up till now i've just not replied but it only takes one person to be different. You cant please everyone. Just didnt think one was mannerless or rude for not replying. "

You're not. It's a given that no reply means no thanks.

And if someone is rude enough to mention it then probably just reinforces why you didn't reply in the first place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I'd rather receive a no thanks or something along those lines.

If I get one like that I'll send them a message back saying ''fair enough, thanks anyway, hope you find what you're looking for''. I'd rather be polite about it than rude because that person who said no might rethink their decision at some point in the future.

It is slightly frustrating when you write a long message after reading someone's profile and it gets deleted. But I get why it happens, so I don't really blame them. It just makes me try harder with the next message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Male here. We both have single profiles. I take it as no reply, not interested. And at my age i get very few replies lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it better to not reply to a message if you're not interested or send back a thanks but no thanks? What do other fabbers do? "

I always respond with a no thank you and the men are really nice about it. Only had one call me names so I laughed and blocked him x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We always reply, rude not to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When all you get sometimes in a message is 'hey' or 'hi' it gets very tedious to reply with a 'no thanks', which is actually more letters than the original message....

So.... I'm a polite gal, I try to reply to every initial message, but I make it a rule to use less letters than the original note - it can get quite difficult!!!

I bet. What do you put to a "Hi" message?

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

"Is it better to not reply to a message if you're not interested or send back a thanks but no thanks? What do other fabbers do? "

I think it is best not to reply. Don't worry if the person(s) think you are rude for not replying.

If you reply with no thnks it will not take long before you get messages back saying things like

Why not?

Or nasty messages back saying things like

I didn't want to shag you anyway you fat bitch.

Fuckoff you ugly bitch I was doing you a favour saying I would shag you.

Etc.

No reply = No thanks.

P.S. I am not saying you are ugly or fat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it better to not reply to a message if you're not interested or send back a thanks but no thanks? What do other fabbers do? "

If I know they've taken the time to read my profile and send a nice polite message then yes I do send a polite message back declining them

But if I see they've not read my profile and it's quite crude or a hi or cock pics I delete

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is it better to not reply to a message if you're not interested or send back a thanks but no thanks? What do other fabbers do?

I think it is best not to reply. Don't worry if the person(s) think you are rude for not replying.

If you reply with no thnks it will not take long before you get messages back saying things like

Why not?

Or nasty messages back saying things like

I didn't want to shag you anyway you fat bitch.

Fuckoff you ugly bitch I was doing you a favour saying I would shag you.

Etc.

No reply = No thanks.

P.S. I am not saying you are ugly or fat. "

agreed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hated deleting messages unanswered because it felt rude, even when clearly no effort had been put in. So I put a warning on my profile that any message under two sentences will be deleted. It felt like fair warning and eased my conscience.

I did, naively, conduct a little experiment with the one word wonders to see if they were just conserving energy and were actually hidden treasures given the chance to chat.....

No.

So back to deleting.

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By *lueWonderMan
over a year ago

Preston.....ish

"Is it better to not reply to a message if you're not interested or send back a thanks but no thanks? What do other fabbers do? "

A nice thanks but no thanks is always good in my book.

It's nice to be nice

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By *ink magnolia s yorksWoman
over a year ago

south yorkshire

I try to reply to all polite messages but then the but why not starts and trying to convince me I'm somehow missing out...annoying when they aren't what interests me or I'm just not attracted. I don't like saying that to people but at times I've had to be blunt, some still go on tryiyto convince me. But worse are the rude replied to the no thanks

But I do get sick of typing the same replies, particularly when my profile is very specific about what interests me. At the moment it says I'm not looking because I have too many men and too little time. Do people read it? At least twenty a day don't and ask to meet.

I don't reply to rude messages at all and I'm beginning to think what's the point replying when people can't be arsed to read. One thing that guarantees a no reply... people who complain on their profiles that it's rude not to reply, but seem to think it's not rude to completely ignore my profile x

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By *-man24Man
over a year ago

northwest

Its nice to be nice,just like a friendly smile i think x

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

"I hated deleting messages unanswered because it felt rude, even when clearly no effort had been put in. So I put a warning on my profile that any message under two sentences will be deleted. It felt like fair warning and eased my conscience.

I did, naively, conduct a little experiment with the one word wonders to see if they were just conserving energy and were actually hidden treasures given the chance to chat.....

No.

So back to deleting."

Most guys don't read profiles. If you put a warning on your profile that any message under two sentences will be deleted most guys won't read that lol.

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

"I try to reply to all polite messages but then the but why not starts and trying to convince me I'm somehow missing out...annoying when they aren't what interests me or I'm just not attracted. I don't like saying that to people but at times I've had to be blunt, some still go on tryiyto convince me. But worse are the rude replied to the no thanks

Just do what somebody said to a mate of mine on here. He got message back saying sorry you look like my brother. No thanks.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We respond to most messages.

On our profile we say we won't respond if you attach pictures of your genitals or you're a couple and there are no pictures on your profile or attached of the guy. We think it's fair.

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By *lceeWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Just do what somebody said to a mate of mine on here. He got message back saying sorry you look like my brother. No thanks. "

Genius!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's funny as if polite and say sorry your not my type .they ask why ,what for and sometimes it's best to be honest or just ignore .Recently a man messaged me and and I said sorry not my type and I'm not meeting anyone as I have someone.He then replied didn't want to meet you anyway your fat and old .Thought what a lovely gentlemen

can see why some men get pissed off how women don't reply or delete .But sometimes getting messages like that are just rude isn't acceptable .Bet the man wouldn't say that face to face .

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By *olden RatioWoman
over a year ago

Buckinghamshire

I'm firmly in the "no reply means no thanks" camp, but decided to see what happened if I replied with an actual "no thanks" for a few days recently.

Without fail, I got replies back to every message.

Every. Single. Damn. One.

And that is why I continue to just delete without reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it better to not reply to a message if you're not interested or send back a thanks but no thanks? What do other fabbers do? "

If it is one-liner, which we can see even before we open the message, we delete it

Otherwise, we will reply, even if it is a "no thanks"

- Mrs. J -

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm firmly in the "no reply means no thanks" camp, but decided to see what happened if I replied with an actual "no thanks" for a few days recently.

Without fail, I got replies back to every message.

Every. Single. Damn. One.

And that is why I continue to just delete without reply."

/swerve

I (guy) have a few Golden Ratio tats plus PI and various other geekery...

/swerve

re messages...

we also reply to the short messages with even less in the way of letters ... so a "Hi" gets something like a "K"...

we also dont initiate contact if people put secret messages in profiles... Even if its "The Big Apple"

funny old world.... have fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Even if your reply to, "Fancy a fuck" is, "Lame" and then you block them, at least it was polite.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That's be fully honest, it depends on the nature of the message.

If it's a polite, well written, and acknowledges the content of our profile....we/I will reply with a no thanks.

If it's a one liner, or from someone who's clearly not bothered to read the profile, it goes straight to the delete bin unanswered."

Yes, I agree with this, if the guy has clearly made an effort, but just not my type. I'll say no thanks and wish him good times. You've been polite- I'll be polite.

If it's one line or less with text speak and not matching what I'm after; deleted immediately.. no reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it better to not reply to a message if you're not interested or send back a thanks but no thanks? What do other fabbers do? "

For me, you don't need to reply but my profile asks that you delete the message (or block me!)

Leaving a read message hanging around makes me wonder if you're interested and just parked it for later

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Depending on the message decides on if I reply or not. "

This exactly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We reply politely no thanks - but we don't enter into any further conversation if they message back as the conversations have been abusive or trying to persuade us to change our minds - neither of which are ever productive x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We reply politely no thanks - but we don't enter into any further conversation if they message back as the conversations have been abusive or trying to persuade us to change our minds - neither of which are ever productive x"

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By *icoleAndLisaTransCouple (FF)
over a year ago

Ellesmere Port

If they've put some effort in, then I always reply. Sexually graphic one-liners get deleted, and sometimes blocked.

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

"If they've put some effort in, then I always reply. Sexually graphic one-liners get deleted, and sometimes blocked."

This applies for me too

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

If I have been looking at profiles

Then normally start by saying hello to the both of them, then a personalised message why I liked profile, be it something on text or a few photos that I liked

Then I say what can I add, for example as a male joining a couple or a single male with a lady, and a bit about me then I say when I am free; either at weekend or next few weekends, and include a face photo and maybe a topess photo with me in shorts or boxers,

Then I say feel free to have a look at profile and if I am what your looking for message me back. I would say I have been more lucky in last few weeks with that mindset

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

We always reply to all of our messages....can take time (which is why we both reply) but I think if someone has made an effort we should reciprocate

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

Basically if we are not interested we don't reply. We think that sending polite refusals just as invites a "why not"

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By *ust Ms LovinWoman
over a year ago

birmingham

We try and always reply with a

' sorry not our cup of tea happy swinging

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By *lirty-CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Bexley

We make the effort to reply to those who've shown some effort in contacting us. The ones we ignore are the random one-liners etc. from people who haven't even bothered to find out what we're looking for. Sadly these form the majority.

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By *ngleseyFCouple
over a year ago

2m away

"That's be fully honest, it depends on the nature of the message.

If it's a polite, well written, and acknowledges the content of our profile....we/I will reply with a no thanks.

If it's a one liner, or from someone who's clearly not bothered to read the profile, it goes straight to the delete bin unanswered."

Same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you reply to a message with more than three friendly words you will be doing more than the majority of women or couples on here who simply delete unread or delete and block. In truth the few people who do reply to messages are not worth the time reading anyway as it usually derogatory or offensive and along the lines of dont ever contact me again.

So be polite and you are doing more than the majority of people on the site and should be commended for it. Well done.

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By *ornysxguyMan
over a year ago

Maldon, Essex

If someone's made the effort to read a profile, attach pics, an had shown that they haven't just done a copy an paste message it's nice to get a response either way. Not just from a guys perspective but I see many couples ask the same question. As my friend is a single girl on here she regularly replays to any message that has shown the sender has read the profile an attached the pics requested. If they haven't then they don't get a response. Regardless of the number of messages she gets, an as only around 10% actually read the profile it doesn't take long to sift through an reply to either a yes or no. It is frustrating for any member to make effort an then look back and see instant delete. Even worse when some profiles say be imagenative an different, so you try regular conversation starters, maybe picking up on things mentioned in a profile, yet still get ignored. Me personally, answer any and all messages I've received in the last couple of months. (Albeit not many received lol)

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By *otSoNewWalesCoupleCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

"That's be fully honest, it depends on the nature of the message.

If it's a polite, well written, and acknowledges the content of our profile....we/I will reply with a no thanks.

If it's a one liner, or from someone who's clearly not bothered to read the profile, it goes straight to the delete bin unanswered.

Double ditto

Ditto "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it better to not reply to a message if you're not interested or send back a thanks but no thanks? What do other fabbers do? "
the best is tell them ur not interested that's the honest answer n people would apericaite that that's right thing to do but if u ignor them u given them false hope they would think u will get back to them n they could even message multiple times so say no thanks n wish them luck xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I'd prefer to get a thanks but no thanks, but having seen the sheer amount of messages the other half gets on a daily basis i can fully appreciate why some choose just to ignore and delete

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By *ex mad ladMan
over a year ago

Sussex

"Is it better to not reply to a message if you're not interested or send back a thanks but no thanks? What do other fabbers do? "

Always say no thx takes five seconds and is polite

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"Is it better to not reply to a message if you're not interested or send back a thanks but no thanks? What do other fabbers do? "

We'd rather have a message saying how sexy we look and asking when we can meet... but if that's not coming, then we can handle a no thanks and we know that no reply means not interest.

Cal

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By *lirty-CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Bexley

"Personally I'd prefer to get a thanks but no thanks, but having seen the sheer amount of messages the other half gets on a daily basis i can fully appreciate why some choose just to ignore and delete

Exactly.

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By *lirty-CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Bexley

I think the difference in opinions here is due to the fact that most guys probably aren't deluged with inane messages from guys who aren't at all what they're looking for. If they were they'd probably understand why so many females and couples get peed off and don't bother responding to these people. If you've taken the time and trouble to write a profile explaining what you're looking for, people should at least read it before making contact. If they don't want to do that why bother sending a message and why get upset when a reply isn't forthcoming?

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

"Is it better to not reply to a message if you're not interested or send back a thanks but no thanks? What do other fabbers do?

Always say no thx takes five seconds and is polite"

If you got 30 to 100 messages every day like some women do would you spend ages each day replying with no thanks?

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By *ncandiladoCouple
over a year ago

Dundee

Isn't the rule No reply = No thanks?

We don't have time to reply to everyone.

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By *ncandiladoCouple
over a year ago

Dundee

"Isn't the rule No reply = No thanks?

We don't have time to reply to everyone."

Sorry I dont mean rule, more so etiquette or understanding.

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