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By *anhorse OP   Man
over a year ago

potters bar

Hey everyone

So, I think that for most of my adult life, I have been the more dominant one in all my sexual adventures but in the last 6 months, I have been thinking and fantasising about submitting to someone complete.

Spent some money on a chastity cage, some light bondage things and had a little play here and there.

The thing that is clear to me is that it all comes down to trust, and unless you can find someone who you can trust, you can fantasise all you like and try some self play but it is just not enough.

So my question is how I find that someone/couple/group that will accept a novice and that I can trust?

And help would be gratefully received!!!!

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

Genuine dominant women are few and far between. We lurk under bridges, check there.

Best advice if you're looking for real life encounters is attend munches and go to events.

Online is much trickier. Be fun, be polite, make friends and don't expect to get your fantasies fulfilled.

It's the want boy attitude that made me return pro. In my private life it's about me, not the sub. Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Genuine dominant women are few and far between. We lurk under bridges, check there.

Best advice if you're looking for real life encounters is attend munches and go to events.

Online is much trickier. Be fun, be polite, make friends and don't expect to get your fantasies fulfilled.

It's the want boy attitude that made me return pro. In my private life it's about me, not the sub. Good luck "

Couldn't ha e put it better ourselves!..we have a constant deluge of wannabe subs that seem to think we are here to pander to their long list of sexual fantasies...as the lady said, you will get what you want if you seek a "professional" that will provide those fantasies for a fee... for us too, its not about what you want..its about what we demand of you..end of story

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By *anhorse OP   Man
over a year ago

potters bar

I don't think I have it in my mind that it is about my desires, I think it is a mutual aspiration to achieve them for both.

If for me, the idea to serve and give away control is self contained in my own mind, then surely the outward actions for the dominant party are also in play.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't think I have it in my mind that it is about my desires, I think it is a mutual aspiration to achieve them for both.

If for me, the idea to serve and give away control is self contained in my own mind, then surely the outward actions for the dominant party are also in play.

Role-play and sub/dom play takes time to develop and give mutual satisfaction in our experience....talk to interested parties, watch them play, join in when invited....don't expect it to run to a specific script - maybe after 3 or 4 meets and lots of conversations you might find an ideal opportunity to submit to right person who will in turn be delighted at the opportunity to dominate you. As a couple we find it difficult to find the right combination of play partner/environment/mutual desire too but when it does happen it has been worth the wait

"

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By *anhorse OP   Man
over a year ago

potters bar

Really appreciate your advice

Seems I have a lot to learn

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By *anhorse OP   Man
over a year ago

potters bar

So just another question but is it presumptuous to start a message with "Hello Mistress" or is better to be vanilla?

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