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Depression

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By *rMrs_C OP   Couple
over a year ago

Plymouth

If you were the female of a couple and life problems (Not willing to disclose) got in the way of your sex life due to being thrown a shit of a hand and feeling depressed. Would you consider getting hubby a NSA fuck buddy until you were happier again to make sure hubby wasn't missing out? Just so depressed at present I feel it's not fair on him. I'd like him to not have to be penalised because of my mental health?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is that how your marriage works?

Not judging. All marriages are different, and unusual ones often work brilliantly.

But if roles were reversed, how would you feel about it?

Would your husband's depression be a reason to form a sexual relationship with another man?

Not very 'for better or worse', is my tentative feeling.

He'd want to be there for you until things got better, surely?

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

Yes, it's a good solution

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By *enegadeJunkieCouple
over a year ago

wigan


"Is that how your marriage works?

Not judging. All marriages are different, and unusual ones often work brilliantly.

But if roles were reversed, how would you feel about it?

Would your husband's depression be a reason to form a sexual relationship with another man?

Not very 'for better or worse', is my tentative feeling.

He'd want to be there for you until things got better, surely?"

I am inclined to agree with you. Every couple is completely different.

You have to do what will work for you. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes, it's a good solution"

Well, that makes my response seem a bit silly and over-thoughtful, doesn't it?

I keep forgetting where I am, my apologies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's really down to you and how you might cope. To be honest, I would say, don't do it. There is more to life than sex. And depression tends to come and go.

Focus on getting better. Even though that's easier said than done. But you will recover. Honestly you will.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's an incredible thing to have to pinpoint x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you were the female of a couple and life problems (Not willing to disclose) got in the way of your sex life due to being thrown a shit of a hand and feeling depressed. Would you consider getting hubby a NSA fuck buddy until you were happier again to make sure hubby wasn't missing out? Just so depressed at present I feel it's not fair on him. I'd like him to not have to be penalised because of my mental health?"

I hope you feel better soon.

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By *rMrs_C OP   Couple
over a year ago

Plymouth


"Is that how your marriage works?

Not judging. All marriages are different, and unusual ones often work brilliantly.

But if roles were reversed, how would you feel about it?

He will probably say no as he's not that kind of man.

Just with what's gone on I feel bad I'm neglected him. It's actually me wanting to not have him go without. I'm a nice wife

Would your husband's depression be a reason to form a sexual relationship with another man?

Not very 'for better or worse', is my tentative feeling.

He'd want to be there for you until things got better, surely?"

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By *rMrs_C OP   Couple
over a year ago

Plymouth

It's purely me being a good wife and making sure he is getting what he needs when I can't.

Our marriage is very solid (he'd probably totally refuse) but I think as we have such a great marriage I think of him too. My depression is quite deep rooted (with final straw today..uni related) it's purely a thing I know he's getting his need (rightly deserved) and I can concentrate on getting better without feeling bad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're a couple

If one had a bad time then the other picks them up

Sure he'll be more concerned about your wellbeing than him getting laid!

I've recently qualified as a counsellor so if you ever need to offload sweet x

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By *rMrs_C OP   Couple
over a year ago

Plymouth


"You're a couple

If one had a bad time then the other picks them up

Sure he'll be more concerned about your wellbeing than him getting laid!

I've recently qualified as a counsellor so if you ever need to offload sweet x "

He is hun. He always looks after me! It's me trying to just make sure he's looked after.

I am his no.1 priority..im considering this because hes so good to me.

We have some wonderful female friends who are very well known to us. Just a thought as a caring wife x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if he loves you he might not want anyone else , if i had a wife and she was poorly ,id take care of her and help her get better, last thing on my mind would be getting off with another woman

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"Yes, it's a good solution

Well, that makes my response seem a bit silly and over-thoughtful, doesn't it?

I keep forgetting where I am, my apologies."

Who said anything about not being there for her? They have 86 verifications so they are clearly into the swinging lifestyle. I think it's very considerate of the OP.

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By *rMrs_C OP   Couple
over a year ago

Plymouth


"if he loves you he might not want anyone else , if i had a wife and she was poorly ,id take care of her and help her get better, last thing on my mind would be getting off with another woman"

He will probably say the same (o know he will)

He's so wonderful to me, I just want to give something back x

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By *rMrs_C OP   Couple
over a year ago

Plymouth


"Yes, it's a good solution

Well, that makes my response seem a bit silly and over-thoughtful, doesn't it?

I keep forgetting where I am, my apologies.

Who said anything about not being there for her? They have 86 verifications so they are clearly into the swinging lifestyle. I think it's very considerate of the OP. "

Pretty sure he'd tell me to hop it for getting him a fuck buddy.

But in my eyes he is my everything, my best friend and he deserves a bit of what he needs

(P.s I'm 3 weeks out of a back op too which he was wonderful about)

I adore him, I just need him cared for when I can't x

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside


"If you were the female of a couple and life problems (Not willing to disclose) got in the way of your sex life due to being thrown a shit of a hand and feeling depressed. Would you consider getting hubby a NSA fuck buddy until you were happier again to make sure hubby wasn't missing out? Just so depressed at present I feel it's not fair on him. I'd like him to not have to be penalised because of my mental health?"

Do a search for EFT. EFT = Emotional Freedom Technique. I am an EFT practitioner.

EFT is brilliant for depression. EFT is very easy to learn. You can learn the basics in 10 minutes.

Do a search of Google and YouTube for EFT and depression.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if my mrs was depressed or ill i would stop and wait for her to be better again after all we do this as a couple i would not want to play with out her whats the point as my turn on is her full stop

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"if my mrs was depressed or ill i would stop and wait for her to be better again after all we do this as a couple i would not want to play with out her whats the point as my turn on is her full stop"

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By *reeMan
over a year ago

Paisley


"if he loves you he might not want anyone else , if i had a wife and she was poorly ,id take care of her and help her get better, last thing on my mind would be getting off with another woman"
Good luck!

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By *UCKY 69Man
over a year ago

norwich


"Is that how your marriage works?

Not judging. All marriages are different, and unusual ones often work brilliantly.

But if roles were reversed, how would you feel about it?

Would your husband's depression be a reason to form a sexual relationship with another man?

Not very 'for better or worse', is my tentative feeling.

He'd want to be there for you until things got better, surely?"

Bless you

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By *AM2214Man
over a year ago

Manchester Area

I can think of a marriage where the scenario was reversed and both parties had a chat and realised how deep their 'love' for one another was. They, like you were swingers and knew their way around like minded locals.

The end result was to just love each other and get every bit of support available.

I hope you get all the help that is out there and get to follow a route that works for you.

Depression is like Cancer ..an overarching term for many different forms...

Uni..perfect ace to get help if it is study/result related I know people who work in the field in your area and they would move heaven and earth for Uni related issues and keep moving shitty barriers out of the way elsewhere.

Incedibly brave to ask in here and its great to see the trolls are staying away.

Good luck..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is that how your marriage works?

Not judging. All marriages are different, and unusual ones often work brilliantly.

But if roles were reversed, how would you feel about it?

Would your husband's depression be a reason to form a sexual relationship with another man?

Not very 'for better or worse', is my tentative feeling.

He'd want to be there for you until things got better, surely?"

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

What does he think? That's really all that matters.

This sounds like the depression talking. Telling you he'd be better off with someone else, you're failing him etc etc.

Best wishes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is that how your marriage works?

Not judging. All marriages are different, and unusual ones often work brilliantly.

But if roles were reversed, how would you feel about it?

Would your husband's depression be a reason to form a sexual relationship with another man?

Not very 'for better or worse', is my tentative feeling.

He'd want to be there for you until things got better, surely?"

I think this is a good response myself.

XXX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you were the female of a couple and life problems (Not willing to disclose) got in the way of your sex life due to being thrown a shit of a hand and feeling depressed. Would you consider getting hubby a NSA fuck buddy until you were happier again to make sure hubby wasn't missing out? Just so depressed at present I feel it's not fair on him. I'd like him to not have to be penalised because of my mental health?"

So basically you want a female to be your husbands fuck friend until you are not depressed anymore, then the female is dumped. Good luck with finding a female for that.

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By *ade_of_StarsCouple
over a year ago

Whitburn

Depression robs you of yourself. You feel guilty about everything. Open relationships remove some of the guilt of feeling inadequate. Not that you should feel that way but depression is a theif and a liar.

Compersion means that during my times of depression, in fact anytime, i love the idea of my girl finding her own fun.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"You're a couple

If one had a bad time then the other picks them up

Sure he'll be more concerned about your wellbeing than him getting laid!

I've recently qualified as a counsellor so if you ever need to offload sweet x

He is hun. He always looks after me! It's me trying to just make sure he's looked after.

I am his no.1 priority..im considering this because hes so good to me.

We have some wonderful female friends who are very well known to us. Just a thought as a caring wife x

"

Not being harsh but a caring partnership will try and achieve what their other half wants, not what they think they want. You really do need to talk to him about this rather than just present him with a fuck buddy.

Thinking it through to its logical conclusion do you expect the arrangement to continue once you're better or to end when you say so?

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By *reygorCouple
over a year ago

birmingham

well we think our fab life is great .some thing we do together [not 24 7]we do live a normal life 24 7.so helping each other through a tough time is what we [and a lot of couples do]op think your hubbie be good watching a bit of porn ect till you back in the game .good love from us.

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

If it were us then we would sit down together decide on the correct path for treatment and go through it together.

Swinging and sex with others is a hobby that can be dropped at the blink of an eye.

Our marriage and our happiness isn't.

In all honesty if D came to me and told me she thought I should fuck others until she was happy to it would ring all my alarm bells and I would know something is very very wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We would love to reply privately , have been there 3 years ago after tragic work accident that affected us . rather than post it via forum .

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By *limaxinnylonCouple
over a year ago

CHESTER

My personal opinion is don't do it, if you are not in a good state of mind I do not think the thoughts racing in your head when your husband is with someone else would help as you may start the 'is she better' 'is he less stressed with her' 'all I do is cause problems' which is something you definitely do not need! If swinging is an addition to your life then leave it alone for a bit. If you insist on doing this 'for him' a club may be the better way to go as you could attend with him and control the situation if you start feeling anxious about it or you may find watching helps with your libido!

Either way good luck and it signs like you have a wonderfully supportive husband who is lucky to have you! Don't put yourself down!

Jayne xx

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By *oxesMan
over a year ago

Southend, Essex


"If you were the female of a couple and life problems (Not willing to disclose) got in the way of your sex life due to being thrown a shit of a hand and feeling depressed. Would you consider getting hubby a NSA fuck buddy until you were happier again to make sure hubby wasn't missing out? Just so depressed at present I feel it's not fair on him. I'd like him to not have to be penalised because of my mental health?"

Having sex with someone will not clear or solve the deep rooted cause of that anxiety. They may show they are happy at time but really inside we are not, I'm speaking from experience here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bring him.even closer to you.Op as its obvious he adores you,share your problems together,dont push him into anything.Through sickness and in health.Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you were the female of a couple and life problems (Not willing to disclose) got in the way of your sex life due to being thrown a shit of a hand and feeling depressed. Would you consider getting hubby a NSA fuck buddy until you were happier again to make sure hubby wasn't missing out? Just so depressed at present I feel it's not fair on him. I'd like him to not have to be penalised because of my mental health?"

I don't see why not, we had an open relationship due to different physical needs and it worked fine

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"If you were the female of a couple and life problems (Not willing to disclose) got in the way of your sex life due to being thrown a shit of a hand and feeling depressed. Would you consider getting hubby a NSA fuck buddy until you were happier again to make sure hubby wasn't missing out? Just so depressed at present I feel it's not fair on him. I'd like him to not have to be penalised because of my mental health?

I don't see why not, we had an open relationship due to different physical needs and it worked fine"

Really?

You mean your physical needs didn't evaporate because of your sympathy for your partner who was having a bad time? How odd.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you were the female of a couple and life problems (Not willing to disclose) got in the way of your sex life due to being thrown a shit of a hand and feeling depressed. Would you consider getting hubby a NSA fuck buddy until you were happier again to make sure hubby wasn't missing out? Just so depressed at present I feel it's not fair on him. I'd like him to not have to be penalised because of my mental health?

I don't see why not, we had an open relationship due to different physical needs and it worked fine

Really?

You mean your physical needs didn't evaporate because of your sympathy for your partner who was having a bad time? How odd. "

Some people care more about their own physical needs than care about their partner.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"If you were the female of a couple and life problems (Not willing to disclose) got in the way of your sex life due to being thrown a shit of a hand and feeling depressed. Would you consider getting hubby a NSA fuck buddy until you were happier again to make sure hubby wasn't missing out? Just so depressed at present I feel it's not fair on him. I'd like him to not have to be penalised because of my mental health?

I don't see why not, we had an open relationship due to different physical needs and it worked fine

Really?

You mean your physical needs didn't evaporate because of your sympathy for your partner who was having a bad time? How odd.

Some people care more about their own physical needs than care about their partner. "

False dichotomy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you were the female of a couple and life problems (Not willing to disclose) got in the way of your sex life due to being thrown a shit of a hand and feeling depressed. Would you consider getting hubby a NSA fuck buddy until you were happier again to make sure hubby wasn't missing out? Just so depressed at present I feel it's not fair on him. I'd like him to not have to be penalised because of my mental health?

I don't see why not, we had an open relationship due to different physical needs and it worked fine

Really?

You mean your physical needs didn't evaporate because of your sympathy for your partner who was having a bad time? How odd.

Some people care more about their own physical needs than care about their partner.

False dichotomy"

How?

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By *ransGuyTV/TS
over a year ago

Cardiff

Go have a talk with him and find out what may work for both of you.

Your wellbeing is *very* important in all this too.

If you do decide to try it PLEASE listen to what your mind is telling you if you feel that him seeing someone is making you feel worse.

If he feels guilty and doesn't want to do it, or carry on doing it, then please accept it if he says no.

Depression is fucking horrible, I know how easy it is for our minds to tear us apart inside. Personally I could see this turning into a downward spiral of you not feeling good enough for him, and is not going to help you get stronger and beat this.

But it's your choice.

Just promise me that you'll take some time out together for yourselves. Go out and do something you enjoy, or stay in and do something you enjoy. Yes it may all be distractions but they help take your mind of the bad stuff and help your brain remember what it feels like to feel good. It all helps to make you stronger and see more clearly. Even if you can't change it, it all helps you take back control of the situation. It takes away the feeling that you're drowning and every time you can do that it will give you a little boost in the right direction.

And if you need some time alone (spa day if it's your thing? Weekend away?) don't feel guilty about it.

If anyone gives you grief for trying to find some joy in a bad situation *don't let them get to you*.

When life gets shit

you deserve a break.

I mean it, seriously, you're important too.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"If you were the female of a couple and life problems (Not willing to disclose) got in the way of your sex life due to being thrown a shit of a hand and feeling depressed. Would you consider getting hubby a NSA fuck buddy until you were happier again to make sure hubby wasn't missing out? Just so depressed at present I feel it's not fair on him. I'd like him to not have to be penalised because of my mental health?

I don't see why not, we had an open relationship due to different physical needs and it worked fine

Really?

You mean your physical needs didn't evaporate because of your sympathy for your partner who was having a bad time? How odd.

Some people care more about their own physical needs than care about their partner.

False dichotomy

How?"

How does fucking someone else for an hour or two stop you caring for your partner, assuming they are accepting of the arrangement as is the case here. Are you trying to suggest people with depression need 24/7 care and therefore a good partner won't leave the house? I honestly cannot see where your logic is coming from here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you were the female of a couple and life problems (Not willing to disclose) got in the way of your sex life due to being thrown a shit of a hand and feeling depressed. Would you consider getting hubby a NSA fuck buddy until you were happier again to make sure hubby wasn't missing out? Just so depressed at present I feel it's not fair on him. I'd like him to not have to be penalised because of my mental health?

I don't see why not, we had an open relationship due to different physical needs and it worked fine

Really?

You mean your physical needs didn't evaporate because of your sympathy for your partner who was having a bad time? How odd.

Some people care more about their own physical needs than care about their partner.

False dichotomy

How?

How does fucking someone else for an hour or two stop you caring for your partner, assuming they are accepting of the arrangement as is the case here. Are you trying to suggest people with depression need 24/7 care and therefore a good partner won't leave the house? I honestly cannot see where your logic is coming from here. "

That wasn't what I was saying. There's a difference in-

* having an accepting partner as per your example

* having a partner that says they are happy for the other to go fuck other people when secretly they are dying inside

* being the person off fucking other people because they only care about their own "needs"

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"If you were the female of a couple and life problems (Not willing to disclose) got in the way of your sex life due to being thrown a shit of a hand and feeling depressed. Would you consider getting hubby a NSA fuck buddy until you were happier again to make sure hubby wasn't missing out? Just so depressed at present I feel it's not fair on him. I'd like him to not have to be penalised because of my mental health?

I don't see why not, we had an open relationship due to different physical needs and it worked fine

Really?

You mean your physical needs didn't evaporate because of your sympathy for your partner who was having a bad time? How odd.

Some people care more about their own physical needs than care about their partner.

False dichotomy

How?

How does fucking someone else for an hour or two stop you caring for your partner, assuming they are accepting of the arrangement as is the case here. Are you trying to suggest people with depression need 24/7 care and therefore a good partner won't leave the house? I honestly cannot see where your logic is coming from here.

That wasn't what I was saying. There's a difference in-

* having an accepting partner as per your example

* having a partner that says they are happy for the other to go fuck other people when secretly they are dying inside

* being the person off fucking other people because they only care about their own "needs""

Let's agree the first two exist because the third category is just an extension of the second. The thread is about a woman with depression wondering whether to offer her husband, her consent for him to have a FWB. It should be blindingly obvious that no husband or wife should make an offer that they secretly hope the other refuses. Therefore, we're back to my example of a consenting partner and a false dichotomy from the people saying "if he loved you then his gentials would shut down".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you were the female of a couple and life problems (Not willing to disclose) got in the way of your sex life due to being thrown a shit of a hand and feeling depressed. Would you consider getting hubby a NSA fuck buddy until you were happier again to make sure hubby wasn't missing out? Just so depressed at present I feel it's not fair on him. I'd like him to not have to be penalised because of my mental health?

I don't see why not, we had an open relationship due to different physical needs and it worked fine

Really?

You mean your physical needs didn't evaporate because of your sympathy for your partner who was having a bad time? How odd.

Some people care more about their own physical needs than care about their partner.

False dichotomy

How?

How does fucking someone else for an hour or two stop you caring for your partner, assuming they are accepting of the arrangement as is the case here. Are you trying to suggest people with depression need 24/7 care and therefore a good partner won't leave the house? I honestly cannot see where your logic is coming from here.

That wasn't what I was saying. There's a difference in-

* having an accepting partner as per your example

* having a partner that says they are happy for the other to go fuck other people when secretly they are dying inside

* being the person off fucking other people because they only care about their own "needs"

Let's agree the first two exist because the third category is just an extension of the second. The thread is about a woman with depression wondering whether to offer her husband, her consent for him to have a FWB. It should be blindingly obvious that no husband or wife should make an offer that they secretly hope the other refuses. Therefore, we're back to my example of a consenting partner and a false dichotomy from the people saying "if he loved you then his gentials would shut down". "

I can't comment on the OP as I don't know her/ them.

Let's not pretend that all swinging couples are happy though. How many say they will swing just to keep their partner happy and to stop them running off with someone else.

That's another thread...

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By *he RingmasterMan
over a year ago

Canford Cliffs


"Go have a talk with him and find out what may work for both of you.

Your wellbeing is *very* important in all this too.

If you do decide to try it PLEASE listen to what your mind is telling you if you feel that him seeing someone is making you feel worse.

If he feels guilty and doesn't want to do it, or carry on doing it, then please accept it if he says no.

Depression is fucking horrible, I know how easy it is for our minds to tear us apart inside. Personally I could see this turning into a downward spiral of you not feeling good enough for him, and is not going to help you get stronger and beat this.

But it's your choice.

Just promise me that you'll take some time out together for yourselves. Go out and do something you enjoy, or stay in and do something you enjoy. Yes it may all be distractions but they help take your mind of the bad stuff and help your brain remember what it feels like to feel good. It all helps to make you stronger and see more clearly. Even if you can't change it, it all helps you take back control of the situation. It takes away the feeling that you're drowning and every time you can do that it will give you a little boost in the right direction.

And if you need some time alone (spa day if it's your thing? Weekend away?) don't feel guilty about it.

If anyone gives you grief for trying to find some joy in a bad situation *don't let them get to you*.

When life gets shit

you deserve a break.

I mean it, seriously, you're important too.

"

As a card carrying 20mg ecitalopram a day depressent this absolutely nails it for me.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"If you were the female of a couple and life problems (Not willing to disclose) got in the way of your sex life due to being thrown a shit of a hand and feeling depressed. Would you consider getting hubby a NSA fuck buddy until you were happier again to make sure hubby wasn't missing out? Just so depressed at present I feel it's not fair on him. I'd like him to not have to be penalised because of my mental health?

I don't see why not, we had an open relationship due to different physical needs and it worked fine

Really?

You mean your physical needs didn't evaporate because of your sympathy for your partner who was having a bad time? How odd.

Some people care more about their own physical needs than care about their partner.

False dichotomy

How?

How does fucking someone else for an hour or two stop you caring for your partner, assuming they are accepting of the arrangement as is the case here. Are you trying to suggest people with depression need 24/7 care and therefore a good partner won't leave the house? I honestly cannot see where your logic is coming from here.

That wasn't what I was saying. There's a difference in-

* having an accepting partner as per your example

* having a partner that says they are happy for the other to go fuck other people when secretly they are dying inside

* being the person off fucking other people because they only care about their own "needs"

Let's agree the first two exist because the third category is just an extension of the second. The thread is about a woman with depression wondering whether to offer her husband, her consent for him to have a FWB. It should be blindingly obvious that no husband or wife should make an offer that they secretly hope the other refuses. Therefore, we're back to my example of a consenting partner and a false dichotomy from the people saying "if he loved you then his gentials would shut down".

I can't comment on the OP as I don't know her/ them.

Let's not pretend that all swinging couples are happy though. How many say they will swing just to keep their partner happy and to stop them running off with someone else.

That's another thread..."

How about we agree that nobody should be swinging just to please their partner?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You're a couple

If one had a bad time then the other picks them up

Sure he'll be more concerned about your wellbeing than him getting laid!

I've recently qualified as a counsellor so if you ever need to offload sweet x

I got one for mind not because we stopped but more because he takes such good care of me. She is lovely and he enjoys it and has some of his own time. Xx

He is hun. He always looks after me! It's me trying to just make sure he's looked after.

I am his no.1 priority..im considering this because hes so good to me.

We have some wonderful female friends who are very well known to us. Just a thought as a caring wife x

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you were the female of a couple and life problems (Not willing to disclose) got in the way of your sex life due to being thrown a shit of a hand and feeling depressed. Would you consider getting hubby a NSA fuck buddy until you were happier again to make sure hubby wasn't missing out? Just so depressed at present I feel it's not fair on him. I'd like him to not have to be penalised because of my mental health?"

No, he's there to support you and not you to look after his dick.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No i wouldnt. Surely it will effect your emotions more??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is there not a possibility it could deepen your depression?

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"If you were the female of a couple and life problems (Not willing to disclose) got in the way of your sex life due to being thrown a shit of a hand and feeling depressed. Would you consider getting hubby a NSA fuck buddy until you were happier again to make sure hubby wasn't missing out? Just so depressed at present I feel it's not fair on him. I'd like him to not have to be penalised because of my mental health?

No, he's there to support you and not you to look after his dick."

How does one prevent the other?

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville


"If you were the female of a couple and life problems (Not willing to disclose) got in the way of your sex life due to being thrown a shit of a hand and feeling depressed. Would you consider getting hubby a NSA fuck buddy until you were happier again to make sure hubby wasn't missing out? Just so depressed at present I feel it's not fair on him. I'd like him to not have to be penalised because of my mental health?

I don't see why not, we had an open relationship due to different physical needs and it worked fine

Really?

You mean your physical needs didn't evaporate because of your sympathy for your partner who was having a bad time? How odd.

Some people care more about their own physical needs than care about their partner.

False dichotomy

How?

How does fucking someone else for an hour or two stop you caring for your partner, assuming they are accepting of the arrangement as is the case here. Are you trying to suggest people with depression need 24/7 care and therefore a good partner won't leave the house? I honestly cannot see where your logic is coming from here.

That wasn't what I was saying. There's a difference in-

* having an accepting partner as per your example

* having a partner that says they are happy for the other to go fuck other people when secretly they are dying inside

* being the person off fucking other people because they only care about their own "needs"

Let's agree the first two exist because the third category is just an extension of the second. The thread is about a woman with depression wondering whether to offer her husband, her consent for him to have a FWB. It should be blindingly obvious that no husband or wife should make an offer that they secretly hope the other refuses. Therefore, we're back to my example of a consenting partner and a false dichotomy from the people saying "if he loved you then his gentials would shut down". "

To a happy healthy person, the phrase you use, blindingly obvious....would be okay to use.

This thread isn't about a happy healthy person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do you know when you got Depression?

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By *oungcouple1993xCouple
over a year ago

Dublin

Everyone has rough patches.. I'm sure if it becomes too much for him he can have a wank

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By *ay19720Man
over a year ago

Ashford kent

In truth,, If yr depressed the last thing u need is to see him coming home chufft..

And im sure he loves u enough too wait and help u through. .

The best thing for depression is too talk about it so u in right direction. ..good luck..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How do you know when you got Depression? "
Its like a deep black hole you cant get out off ... You would like too but you cant .Everyday you think it will change and it don't .. it sweeps you away and you can smile think today I am going to be strong but your dragged back in that hole again .. I had this 2 years after my dad died . I Know we are all different but that's how I felt. I am a lot better now but it did take time .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/08/17 21:51:04]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op please pm me I have insider knowledge of this x

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

To answer the question OP, I really don't think it's a good idea to do this while you are not well. It could totally exacerbate your situation. I would think this solution could only work for very long term problems and would need discussing in depth beforehand.

Look after your own needs and concentrate on getting better

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By *ransGuyTV/TS
over a year ago

Cardiff


"How do you know when you got Depression? "

When it feels like you're drowning.

Everytime you take a breath (when the depression lifts a little) you feel a little stronger. But the weight pulling you down is hard to fight and everytime something negative happens, no matter how small, it adds to the weight.

And that's what it is (to me anyway), a daily fight against allowing that weight to build up again. A fight to find ways to keep breathing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you were the female of a couple and life problems (Not willing to disclose) got in the way of your sex life due to being thrown a shit of a hand and feeling depressed. Would you consider getting hubby a NSA fuck buddy until you were happier again to make sure hubby wasn't missing out? Just so depressed at present I feel it's not fair on him. I'd like him to not have to be penalised because of my mental health?

I don't see why not, we had an open relationship due to different physical needs and it worked fine

Really?

You mean your physical needs didn't evaporate because of your sympathy for your partner who was having a bad time? How odd.

Some people care more about their own physical needs than care about their partner.

False dichotomy

How?

How does fucking someone else for an hour or two stop you caring for your partner, assuming they are accepting of the arrangement as is the case here. Are you trying to suggest people with depression need 24/7 care and therefore a good partner won't leave the house? I honestly cannot see where your logic is coming from here.

That wasn't what I was saying. There's a difference in-

* having an accepting partner as per your example

* having a partner that says they are happy for the other to go fuck other people when secretly they are dying inside

* being the person off fucking other people because they only care about their own "needs"

Let's agree the first two exist because the third category is just an extension of the second. The thread is about a woman with depression wondering whether to offer her husband, her consent for him to have a FWB. It should be blindingly obvious that no husband or wife should make an offer that they secretly hope the other refuses. Therefore, we're back to my example of a consenting partner and a false dichotomy from the people saying "if he loved you then his gentials would shut down".

To a happy healthy person, the phrase you use, blindingly obvious....would be okay to use.

This thread isn't about a happy healthy person. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you were the female of a couple and life problems (Not willing to disclose) got in the way of your sex life due to being thrown a shit of a hand and feeling depressed. Would you consider getting hubby a NSA fuck buddy until you were happier again to make sure hubby wasn't missing out? Just so depressed at present I feel it's not fair on him. I'd like him to not have to be penalised because of my mental health?

I don't see why not, we had an open relationship due to different physical needs and it worked fine

Really?

You mean your physical needs didn't evaporate because of your sympathy for your partner who was having a bad time? How odd.

Some people care more about their own physical needs than care about their partner.

False dichotomy

How?

How does fucking someone else for an hour or two stop you caring for your partner, assuming they are accepting of the arrangement as is the case here. Are you trying to suggest people with depression need 24/7 care and therefore a good partner won't leave the house? I honestly cannot see where your logic is coming from here.

That wasn't what I was saying. There's a difference in-

* having an accepting partner as per your example

* having a partner that says they are happy for the other to go fuck other people when secretly they are dying inside

* being the person off fucking other people because they only care about their own "needs"

Let's agree the first two exist because the third category is just an extension of the second. The thread is about a woman with depression wondering whether to offer her husband, her consent for him to have a FWB. It should be blindingly obvious that no husband or wife should make an offer that they secretly hope the other refuses. Therefore, we're back to my example of a consenting partner and a false dichotomy from the people saying "if he loved you then his gentials would shut down".

I can't comment on the OP as I don't know her/ them.

Let's not pretend that all swinging couples are happy though. How many say they will swing just to keep their partner happy and to stop them running off with someone else.

That's another thread...

How about we agree that nobody should be swinging just to please their partner? "

Agree.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

op sex is one part a small part of life. You love each other and with that You care for each other and its the good times together and the bad times together and some how from that you get stronger together. He don't need others he need you ... And he need you to get better. I hope you are getting some help I really do as at times we need that help. xx

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By *addubMan
over a year ago

dublin. 12

depression is a sickness your partner took you in sickness & in health, but you need to talk to him about this, he may have different ideas about fucking others without you, please talk to him he may understand a lot more than you think. I hope you get better soon. even try seeing a councillor together they are non judgemental & may be able to suggest better support for both of you, if things are bad for you they are bad for him as he sounds like your right arm. good luck

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By *addubMan
over a year ago

dublin. 12

[Removed by poster at 01/08/17 22:32:57]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You wanting your husband to have a fuckbuddy is not the solution, that is the depression talking!

Have a break from swinging (hide profile) and concentrate on getting you better!

I saw a counsellor recently twice in regards to my dad's death (8mths ago), the lady listened to what I had to say and most of the time in those 2 sessions all the hurt and anger I let out, lots of tears and tissues needed. Seeing a counsellor helped me immensely, it helped me in different ways. Helped me to grieve, realise I had lots of happy memories, that I made promises to him and that I had lots of positive things planned for the upcoming future. Depression isnt nice and affects people differently and your husband will want you better and he will want to love and support you.

You will regret getting him another female , don't push him away, you must talk to him and to each other about how u both feel and how you can move forward.

So important you communicate with him, tell him how you feel as at the moment sounds like you are keeping him in the dark.

Looked at your pictures on your profile and you look amazing ??

If ever want to chat, message us, we're both good listeners

Lucy and Steve xx

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By *uckslut and MCouple
over a year ago

Poole

Hello, I must admit I've not read the full thread. Being a fellow sufferer myself I would think twice. Depresson can manifest in many forms. Please don't try to make yourself happy by "pleasing, or trying to do the best thing for him" depression is an ilness. Make sure you get the right help. The above poster and myself are happy to pm you if needed. Take care. Sarah

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would.

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