FabSwingers.com forum: Advice- Rules and infringements (long story but scrol to bottom is after advice)

By *antasycouple31 OP Couple
over a year ago

Between Pontarddulias and Gorseinon

Hi all.

Sorry for the long explanation but felt may as well get the story out there! This is our first real time trying to arrange something more than just a one night d*unken event.

About a week ago we met up with some friends on a night out, there were a couple of new people there, just a general club thing. Anyway, we got chatting to a guy and when my wife went to the bar these guy followed her up, I saw he had his hand on her bum but wasn't really concerned as I was also being a bit flirty with someone.

Anyway, the next day we were talking about 3some type things and she mentioned what about him. I said perhaps, and that he seemed ok. Later that evening transpired that he had been messaging her but she had told him to stop with it. (We do have a rule that she has to tell me things like this, and she did, but only when I noticed a message come up on her Fit Bit). Anyway, after a bit of chatting we set up a 3 way convo on WhatsApp to see if he would be interested, and saying to use this for chatting etc. He was interested, but he also started direct messaging again so I did tell him pretty clearly that if he does that this will all stop.

We set a few basic ground rules. All communication between him and my wife to be on the messenger, no private meets, no 'hanging out' without me (I.e bumping into each other in town), always show respect to us and the situation, privacy, no touching or taking anything further without checking for permission first off us both etc to make sure we're ok with it, stuff like that. I also explained to my wife that if I say I'm uncomfortable or to stop it all stops even if something is just about to happen.

We happened to be put in town Wednesday and he was also out. At first he was pretty cool about stuff and wasn't sure how to be, I just said follow the rules and take things slowly. Well they both went out for a fag getting chatty for quite a while, leaving me with a bunch of people I didn't know which was a little frustrating. Then they came back in and went up to the bar, taking again quite a while I spotted him glancing over and he was grabbing my wife's arse and making a move to try and kiss her (I didn't really think that was cool especially with some friends about that don't know about this kinda stuff).

I went over to them, and he was pretty blazzay that nobody can hear us talking and started saying that the plan was to fuck my wide in front of me (this was out of nowhere). I kinda moved the conversation on from that, and suggested that perhaps later we could all head back together. The guy was 23, I guess OK looking but was someone we both felt comfortable with (not _oo hot and not too ugly lol), and he then starts going off on one about he's had sex with 100 women, the last one was amazing, he can go for hours and all this crap. He just turned the whole thing into what we were going to do for him. Well this just totally put me off the whole thing with him, because someone being like that (it was likely all made up anyway) just changes the dynamic of the situation as my wife was then saying to him that she was nervous about her performance etc (but then he was all about its down to the person your with etc etc)

I pulled my wife to one side for a chat about it, she said that was kinda off putting too and it was probably his age, and I said I wasn't comfortable with him any more and his attitude really changed my mind about him.

We then went to a different bar and left this guy behind. My wife has quite a few drinks (I'm not because I'm driving) and then he turns up again. He makes a beeline for us and is all up against my wife, grabbing her arse and being 'cuddly'. My wife obviously liked the interest but I told her to move away from him and explained that I was now really uncomfortable with him and this all needed to stop, so she stayed by my side.

About 5 min later, one of her female friends comes in, and they go up to the bar. I'm chatting with someone else in the group and this guy then sides up to my wife again at the bar, but is trying to kiss her friend, whose boyfriend I was chatting to. He spots it and tells him to fucking stop it. At this point then I notice the guy has also put his hand between my wife's legs at the bar (she has about 5 layers of underwear on but still), so I lost my cool, pulled her away and lost my shit with him.

My wife says he just put his hand on her waist, but it wasn't. He messages me asking what went wrong. I explain he broke the rules, showed no respect etc and he didn't message me back.

My question is, am I the one being the dick in this, or am I right to be annoyed and upset that they both broke the rules?

I put my wife's actions down to alcohol, but still I feel she shouldn't have ignored me and the rules( second time this has happened). I feel like I put her in that situation, so perhaps it is my fault but then how can I trust her doing this if she won't follow them? We are both interested in exploring this side of things, but her worry is that she will do something wrong and it will upset me, which is kind of exactly this situation, but then again shouldn't I be annoyed at this?

I don't know about this guy either. Should we give him another chance, or call it a day with him as he has now shown himself not to listen. My concern is that my wife may be reluctant to move on in case this all repeats itself again, and that with him at least we have made a start with things, so will be easier to continue, just I have the worry of the rules and I need to get him to change his manner and drop the brovado. Am I crazy even thinking that, should this be a clear cut no?

To add one further complication, he is a friend through my wife's side, so it is likely they will be out at the same time when I am not.

Help very much appreciated.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Plenty of guys out there... fuck this one off!! In a 3some situation everyone has to play it right.... if you've got rules and you've explained them to him... he's a fool!! As for your other half that's your business but unless your both into hot wifing I personally wouldn't be haopy. Mr

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Id say keep your wife off the alcohol

she obviously enjoys the attention but you need to be more in control of the situation if you want it to work out

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *antasycouple31 OP Couple
over a year ago

Between Pontarddulias and Gorseinon

Thanks Classy.

I guess it depends on the situation and the person, Hotwifing isn't a total no, but I would need to be there for anything seriouse, but we have messed about a bit with her going into town to flirt for a few hours but she had to keep in constant contact with me (although the first try of this she didn't, left her phone behind the bar to charge for 2hrs and I ended up having to drive into town to find her passed out in a club toilet with her female friend looking after her). I didn't like that and again she's breaking the rule we agreed.

Agree that he's perhaps a bad call then, just finding someone we are both happy with, and getting my wife to actually take an interest in looking has been difficult despite her being up for this.

Do you think perhaps we shouldn't be doing this is my wife can't follow the rules we set? To put it in context, one of her girlfriends keeps asking to have sex with us but my wife says she isn't comfortable with her so I'm battling this girl off every time we go out.(tries kissing me, grabbing me, etc).

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *antasycouple31 OP Couple
over a year ago

Between Pontarddulias and Gorseinon

Thanks Mzz Fox,

I guess my concern is how do I manage it without being over bearing.

Your right about the alcohol side of things, perhaps we need to keep them totally separate, or limit it to just a couple.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hat The CuckCouple
over a year ago

Croydon Area

I think you guys really need to talk this through together and set your rules clearly and not deviate from them. And definitely keep the alcohol consumption down.

We've been having Hotwife experiences for 18 months now and have agreed rules we do not deviate from. We've had a few issues along the way and have communicated together every step to ensure we're both getting what we want out of it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

Too much drama.

Just meet someone through here. Chat on fab. Meet at a hotel or club. Have fun. All leave and go your seperate ways.

If you all want to, meet again, through fab.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *antasycouple31 OP Couple
over a year ago

Between Pontarddulias and Gorseinon

Thanks for the input all.

Bunandbuck, what we were kinda hoping for was someone we could become friends with, hang out a bit more with etc and it to be a bit more social and fun. But agree that's perhaps complicating things...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Too much drama.

Just meet someone through here. Chat on fab. Meet at a hotel or club. Have fun. All leave and go your seperate ways.

If you all want to, meet again, through fab."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

"Thanks for the input all.

Having an fb works for some people. From your post, I'd say don't do that.

Easist and most problem free is having an everyday life and a swinging life and never the two shall meet.

Some guy from the local as a swing partner wouldn't be my recommendation.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Boundaries are there for you both, you need to discuss them again, agree them and state unconditionally that if either of you crosses one of them the swinging stops until you've redefined and agreed them

You allowed this to go on for far too long, you don't allow anybody to jeopardise the relationship you have with your wife...especially her. Don't see the guy again, if your wife wants to swing she needs to do it without a drink and you need to understand that its ok to say no in a swinging situation.

Communication is everything between couples in swinging so you need to establish this as a couple before you go any further.

That might sound harsh but swinging is not more important than your marriage and you're allowing a young buck to try and make a fool of you.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *BCambsCouple
over a year ago

Biggleswade

Really not a hard choice.

Walk away from this guy and just keep walking. He clearly doesn't understand the dynamic or what you want and this is unfortunately why we favour the older guys, you don't get any of this peacock bullshit.

There are loads of men that will get it and fit in with what YOU want.

We learnt this and it's awesome. If it doesn't feel right then just leave it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *justhetwofusCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

"Boundaries are there for you both, you need to discuss them again, agree them and state unconditionally that if either of you crosses one of them the swinging stops until you've redefined and agreed them

Communication is everything between couples in swinging so you need to establish this as a couple before you go any further.

That might sound harsh but swinging is not more important than your marriage and you're allowing a young buck to try and make a fool of you."

Well said

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get rid of that chancing tosser. What a dickhead

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *antasycouple31 OP Couple
over a year ago

Between Pontarddulias and Gorseinon

[Removed by poster at 16/07/17 20:07:40]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *antasycouple31 OP Couple
over a year ago

Between Pontarddulias and Gorseinon

Thanks again all.

Nicecouple I think your very right, I should have said something straight away but didn't want to appear like I was changing my mind about all this (a worry of my wife's) and also it was how to address it, but yes, i deffinetly should have said something straight away.

Brutal honest advice works for me as it's clear advice then!

I think communication about this has always been difficult for my wife, so we have perhaps made the mistake of rushing things when she was prepared to open up about it. She normally just says 'whatever you want' when I try and talk about it, which is difficult.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have done the hot wife thing.

Talk, talk and talk some more until you both know where the boundaries are.

As soon as one of you thinks the boundary is about to be broken talk some more.

As someone else said your marriage is more important then a random fuck.

And you both need to equally enjoy the experience.

Good luck with your journey. X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately the guys behaviour is fairly typical albeit creepy and predatory. You've got to keep in mind that most guys simply don't have the right mentality for this kind of thing.

- I'd estimate about 93% of men in this country would like to fuck your wife,

- Of those probably 50% would go through with it, keeping in mind that many are in relationships and don't want to be unfaithful

- Of those 50%, only about 40% could go through with it on a regular or semi-regular basis and not develop any emotional feelings

- Of those, only about 10% really understand the cuckold dynamic and are going to treat you with any respect

- Of those, probably only 15% are attractive enough that your wife wants to fuck them

So basically about 0.7% of men are going to be able to give you what are looking for. So your wife needs to get used to trying a few out and ditching ones like this quickly. You shouldn't do this unless both of you like him and don't waste time with second chances. The good news is that I'd estimate there are 151,916 men in the country who you could have a good arrangement with.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

Honestly the Guy comes across as a knob, I've played with one couple beforehand we agreed what would or wouldn't be permissible. In the heat of the moment things can change but no matter what if 'no' is said it's not up for debate.

Move on and find a respectable guy.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi all.

Sorry for the long explanation but felt may as well get the story out there! This is our first real time trying to arrange something more than just a one night d*unken event.

My wife says he just put his hand on her waist, but it wasn't. He messages me asking what went wrong. I explain he broke the rules, showed no respect etc and he didn't message me back.

My question is, am I the one being the dick in this, or am I right to be annoyed and upset that they both broke the rules?

To add one further complication, he is a friend through my wife's side, so it is likely they will be out at the same time when I am not.

Help very much appreciated.

I think the only thing you did even slightly wrong was to not F*** him off at the first sign that he was not going to follow your rules.

Personally,I don't give second chances like that. If rules are stated and agreed upon,everyone should stick to them.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The guy is disrespectful and will cause you problems. He clearly has no idea about discretion. Tell him you won't be meeting him again.

Does your wife even want to swing? She doesn't sound too keen if she won't talk about it. Yet she's already broken your rules many times- I don't know how you can trust her enough to want to continue with this.

Talk to your wife when she's sober. If she needs alcohol to swing she shouldn't be doing it.

It all sounds dodgy as hell. Hope you sort it out and can save your relationship.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Thanks again all.

Brutal honest advice works for me as it's clear advice then!

I understand but I think if you can't communicate openly with each other then you're going to keep running in to problems. Would writing things down work for you both?

A lot of people think that once they've met a person they have to go through with it but that isn't the case. It is fine for anyone to say no at any point and everyone in the group should respect that.

Single men deserve respect too, they shouldn't be treated as accessories.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks again all.

Brutal honest advice works for me as it's clear advice then!

I understand but I think if you can't communicate openly with each other then you're going to keep running in to problems. Would writing things down work for you both?

Single men deserve respect too, they shouldn't be treated as accessories."
well you are right which i would agree.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *antasycouple31 OP Couple
over a year ago

Between Pontarddulias and Gorseinon

Thanks SteelHeels.

Yes made him clear, but it is likely we will cross paths again on a night out so quite rightly will make it very clear they keep apart.

My wife is interested in swinging, but is concerned about how she looks (she looks great), and is worried that she will end up upseting me. Her ideal would be an open relationship, but I'm not happy with that and she's not happy for me to be 'free' either. We should talk about it more but as above she's reluctant as she doesn't want talk about 'fantasy', thinking I won't go through with stuff, but I will, it just needs to be right that's all.

Your on the money about going forwards, am I being stupid to want to continue this given everything?

I take on board the alcohol thing, it's a loosner, but yes if we can't talk without it that's probably quite a clear warning sign.

Our relationship is good, actually better than it has been for quite a long time (not to do with this stuff), but yes trust has been a bit of a historical problem.

Just to clarify, not a cuck situation, perhaps a little Hotwife, we just want good fun times and I don't mind sharing in the right situation or showing her off.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Firstly this guy didn't stick to your rules so sack him off and find another.

Secondly it seems like your wife enjoyed all the attention, did nothing to stop him, and can't make rational decisions or keep within the boundaries when d*unk. If she behaves like this before you've even started it will all end in drama and tears. Personally I don't think she's ready.

Remember too it's not just about what you want. It sounds very much like you want a 'toy' to play with rather than a human being - single men deserve as much respect as you demand

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *antasycouple31 OP Couple
over a year ago

Between Pontarddulias and Gorseinon

Nice couple

Writing things down is a good suggestion. Will float that tonight.

I think the problem was that it's someone my wife was keen on so I was just bending things to try and keep it working out.

Appreciate that the single men need respecting too, totally right, I guess he showed no approciation of what we were doing and he was talking about it like it was another one to add to his list (to be clear, I wasn't intimidated by the guy in the slightest, it was just off putting misplaced bravado). Perhaps I should in hindsight have told him directly for things to stop, I guess I avoided the situation by us moving on which bit me in the ass.

I'm thinking of asking my wife to read this thread, good or bad idea?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Opening up your sex life to strangers for many is just a fantasy, it took us many years to decide that we wanted to take it beyond fantasy, for every swinging couple there is probably 10 or more other couples that keep their fantasies just that.

If i understand correctly this other man is 23 years old and not on the swinging scene, you have probably opened his mind to something he may never have thought possible, perhaps you expected too much from him, if you and your wife can't understand and value the dynamics of your relationship how can you expect anyone else too?

Ginger

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oo hotCouple
over a year ago

North West

The way this reads, it seems like you are both not ready for this and it reads like you were all three on different agenda's.

I would go back to the drawing board and ask each other honestly why you want this and what you want to get out of it. Seems time there might be a few underlying issues and the way I read this it is all going to end up badly for you two.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Nice couple

Writing things down is a good suggestion. Will float that tonight.

I think the problem was that it's someone my wife was keen on so I was just bending things to try and keep it working out.

I'm thinking of asking my wife to read this thread, good or bad idea?"

I'll he honest again. If you are discussing this in this much detail without her knowledge showing her this thread would be a bad idea. You aren't communicating with each other I think you going outside your relationship to discuss it won't go down well.

I absolutely understand that you need advice but I thought your wife knew about this thread already.

My opinion is that you two aren't "together" enough to include other people in your sex life.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think you guys really need to talk this through together and set your rules clearly and not deviate from them. And definitely keep the alcohol consumption down.

Communication is the key with swinging in any area of activity.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would suggest you try a club and take things slowly, at least the single men know that no means no within that environment.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say you're in trouble.

I'd say you need a chat with your Mrs. Neither of you seem happy.. from your story.

You have to be an ultra strong couple to make swinging work for you both. Trust is paramount.

I don't trust your other half from what you've said.. I don't think this 'Kid' Would be blazen enough to act like that without encouragement.. though sadly, it wouldn't surprise me if he was.

If you weren't happy.. then you're not in the wrong to stop it. You can't rush into this as a couple. Well, not all can. Personally I'd have told him to "Fuck off pronto" After first broken rule. But I'd also be mad at my partner if I suspected any deceit.

I'd back off Fab for a bit and chat about yourselves first. Then if you're ready to try again.. look for a gentleman.. not a scrote.

Ask to talk on phone first, to both of you. Have a man to man chat explaining how you'll crush him if he so much as attempts to deviate from the script if you have to. Find a person who settles both your nerves.

and good luck

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *axandbooCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

we have our rules in place for a reason, we explain them to our potential meets and if they agree then we proceed.

our rules are there for us, not them (no offence to anyone but they are) if you cant respect our rules and boundaries in a public place then we expect the same behaviour in private so at that stage its a no go. We have code words in place where if we are on a meet we can let the other know we are uncomfortable without others letting on.

as its been said, this world is based on trust and communication. you and your wife need to talk things through properly and work out your own system.

we both hope this experience hasnt put you off

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you have a rifle?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heaspieswingerMan
over a year ago

Peak District

Firstly, we'd worked out the guy was a tool by the first half of your third paragraph.

Secondly, given that he was trying it on with two women who we're not interested, and who's partners were present, he's lucky you're both reasonable people. Frankly, he's lucky to be alive!

Thirdly, make it very clear to him that he is to leave you alone, perhaps explaining why what he did was no appropriate.

Fourthly, we'd suggest that you both come of FAB and sit down and talk about your future swinging. Our concern is that if your wife wasn't making much of an effort to push him away - having had a drink is no excuse - then you might get hurt in the future.

This guy in question is a disrespectful individual at best. Avoid him.

G & S x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To continue with this guy would mean that you and your wife are so desperate for a dick that you can't see what's right and what's wrong.

I was uncomfortable just by reading your post, OP.

Totally out of control. This guys takes you for granted.

Fuck him off entirely. There are thousands of decent men on fab just waiting to be given a chance with a couple and you go off with 23 yo kid with no manners and no respect.

You wife? She'd better listen. You are a couple. If she does her own thongs, show her the door and tell her that there are many skilled divorce lawyers.

The 23yo lover will ditch her after a few shags and what's she going to do after that?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *unlovingx2Couple
over a year ago

Aberdeen

[Removed by poster at 21/07/17 03:47:22]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *unlovingx2Couple
over a year ago

Aberdeen

the guy was clearly a disrespectful dick. He should bee open and inclusive in front of you. No cuckolding, hotwifing or swinging scenario will survive sneaky private behaviour. That is simply being unfaithful, be it messages meets or conversations. It took my wife a while to understand that me seeing every txt was not me trying to control her but me keeping myself reassured that I would not lose her and that her having fun was just that. We have set rules now that involves her playing where i can at least hear or possibky see whats going on. For me its far easier to handle my wife having fun when I see what's going on as opposed to her going for a meet on her own. Our rules have changed over time and settled down to what we can both handle as a couple.

You need to both agree to rules and stick to them but i do detect you are perhaps controlling your wife on a whim of how your emotions are at that particular time. This will leave your wife confused especially with a drink. And having a drink for some does help and is needed. In spite of our rules I know my wife will behave more naughty with a couple drinks, you should allow your wife a little leeway. And if you have gone as far as agreeing to play and the wife wants too, unless the guy is what we would consider as unsafe or a future problem maker then you should also allow her a little more space, as in you might think the guy is a knob but if your wife has gone as far as agreeing to have fun and has buit up courage enough to allow that guy to kiss her etc then let her go for it, enjoy what you can from the situation or from what you have written she will never be able to totally relax and have fun because she will be on edge incase you dont approve. When we go to a social my wife can if she wants pick who she wants, she does not hide anything and she asks what i think about anyone chasing her.And any guy is told about our personal rules.

It does sound as though this is not for you and shoukd stay a fantasy. It's taken us almost two years to relax and enjoy the situations we find ourselves in, many have not been ideal but we share them as a couple and laugh any disappointments off as a couple and all this is only possible because we talk through everything.

Remember the whole journey is a roller coaster and you need to be in the same car and strapped well together as a couple before you push off and hit the drops along the way. As many have said before talk talk and talk but another tip is you BOTH need to have the ability to dust off as a couple and forget about any situations that are not perfect, even if your wife does have sex with what in the morning turns out to be completely the wrong guy.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

The Wild Wetness

Personally I'm not sure swinging or hotwife is something you are totally ready for.

I can appreciate having rules but from our experience you can control every second of a meeting. From the sound of it you like the idea, but the reality of your wife flirting or lusting after another man is difficult for you.

If I go out with the wife dressed and ready to flirt. I have to understand that I don't know exactly who she is going to be attracted to or what exactly they will do.

I'm finding it hard to put into words without sounding like I'm having a go, but I do think exploring this fantasy as a couple more first will help, before bring in a 3Rd party.

I'd suggest you go into great detail about what she would love to happen. Assume no rules. See what she really wants. Her fantasy maybe to do it alone which is fine. We fantasise about alot that we don't actually do, but allowing each other to be completely honest about what in an ideal world you would like helps the discussion about what might happen on a real meet.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You talk about "your" wife a lot.

It's important to remember that when you both start swinging you are going to find out a lot about each other and yourself.

Each of you are a person with their own desires and you need to understand that you may differ in what you like and want.

This, in our case,makes our sexual relationship stronger as we give each other free rein but keep an eye on the other.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chances are you're wife's already been fucked by the guy for him to be that fucked up. Think she's playing you.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *argudMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

tell your wife to wise up and next time drop head on him

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" Her ideal would be an open relationship, but I'm not happy with that and she's not happy for me to be 'free' either"

Yeah neither of you are ready for swinging

And you only need to look at your own words on the subject to see that clearly

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Firstly, we'd worked out the guy was a tool by the first half of your third paragraph.

Secondly, given that he was trying it on with two women who we're not interested, and who's partners were present, he's lucky you're both reasonable people. Frankly, he's lucky to be alive!

Thirdly, make it very clear to him that he is to leave you alone, perhaps explaining why what he did was no appropriate.

This guy in question is a disrespectful individual at best. Avoid him.

G & S x"

This...exactly this

Also dont judge all young guys by him

His os a personality defect

Ive met older people who are exactly the same

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ixieandfairyCouple
over a year ago

St Helier

We now have our established rules and parameters, the main one being complete honesty and open communication. We have had rocky moments with guys who were communicating separately with me, but now it is our rule that we only give Pixies number, or communicate on Fab.

It is tempting when guys give a woman attention, especially when you have the green light to play, but this guy is a total idiot, don't go near him. We find it best to stick to guys over 30 who have been on the scene a while. They respect couples' dynamics, on the whole, and know how to play the game. Above everything, your relationship is the most important thing, there will always be guys when you want them but that very special love with one's partner is priceless. Best of luck and happy swinging. X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I (female) can also get a little carried away with alcohol. So I can sympathise there to a degree. But if your planning a meet maybe slow and steady on the alcohol consumption is a good idea. However just because your have told this guy what your into does not give him the right to exploit the rules and boundaries u have set. We all have these in place for a reason. And at no point should anyone feel uncomfortable. I don't think you are over reacting one bit. She's your woman end of. Just because u like a bit of kinky play does not give guys the right to act as they please. Xxmiss

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkyfun2013Couple
over a year ago

lewisham

[Removed by poster at 23/07/17 01:17:03]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkyfun2013Couple
over a year ago

lewisham

You can't have it all. She loves the attention and I think, quite frankly you're jealous.

The bloke sounds like a complete douchbag but you don't know what your (pissed) Mrs is saying and hearing.

Swinging is about mutual trust, security, honesty as well as sex. One of you isn't ready.

Take some time out, have a good long talk, sort yourselves out and either start again or leave well alone.

Good luck.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread