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Constructive dismissal

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Let's see if it happens twice.

After coming out to my installation manager for a company who likes to 'make a house a home' things changed.

As a self employed bathroom fitter I was pushed until I walked away. She even said since I'd come out my mind was elsewhere and my installations were now 'shit'. Even though my completion forms had words such as 'outstanding' on every one.

I now install for a company who 'puts their name on it' and have just answered a text to my new manager and told him I'm transgender.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hoping his reply of "shut up" was of surprise rather than not wanting to hear it.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville


"Hoping his reply of "shut up" was of surprise rather than not wanting to hear it. "

Ask if it was advice or surprise.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Hoping his reply of "shut up" was of surprise rather than not wanting to hear it. "

Surprise I expect.

We only know you as Rachel. It must come as a huge surprise to someone who only knows you as a male colleague.

Do you know him very well?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hoping his reply of "shut up" was of surprise rather than not wanting to hear it.

Surprise I expect.

We only know you as Rachel. It must come as a huge surprise to someone who only knows you as a male colleague.

Do you know him very well?"

Kind of. I've been installing for this company since October.

I wanted him to see how good I am at this before throwing the spanner in.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

[Removed by poster at 14/07/17 09:43:32]

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

One thing I'd say is, if you are not going to take action, are coming across this regularly and are not going to make a stand, then as you are self employed why don't you use your portfolio to win customers and gain a good rep independent of a company?

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

Not really following the link between the title and the thread? Are you saying that the first manager treated you in a way that had you been an employee than you would have had a case for constructive dismissal? If so, yes it sounds like you would have.

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By *ommenhimCouple
over a year ago

wigan


"Let's see if it happens twice.

After coming out to my installation manager for a company who likes to 'make a house a home' things changed.

As a self employed bathroom fitter I was pushed until I walked away. She even said since I'd come out my mind was elsewhere and my installations were now 'shit'. Even though my completion forms had words such as 'outstanding' on every one.

I now install for a company who 'puts their name on it' and have just answered a text to my new manager and told him I'm transgender.

"

You answered his text ... and told him you're transgender?

Is it your intention during your working day to present as female ?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Hoping his reply of "shut up" was of surprise rather than not wanting to hear it.

Surprise I expect.

We only know you as Rachel. It must come as a huge surprise to someone who only knows you as a male colleague.

Do you know him very well?

Kind of. I've been installing for this company since October.

I wanted him to see how good I am at this before throwing the spanner in.

"

Was text the best way to do it? I can well understand how difficult the conversation is face to face but now he's wondering if you're serious and you're wondering what he meant.

Hope it all works out ok. X

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Not really following the link between the title and the thread? Are you saying that the first manager treated you in a way that had you been an employee than you would have had a case for constructive dismissal? If so, yes it sounds like you would have. "

Yes, basically.

As a subcontractor though, it was easy for her to just not offer me any more work.

I easily found another contract as I'm well known in the area and have 15 years and getting on for 650 bathrooms under my belt.

I'm not willing to hide who I am any more. I wear my pride bracelet and an ankle chain 24/7

I wear female short shorts, female pumps and their company polo shirt.

My shaved legs and tattoos are clear to see, as is my very patchy beard colour as the laser chips away at removing it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Let's see if it happens twice.

After coming out to my installation manager for a company who likes to 'make a house a home' things changed.

As a self employed bathroom fitter I was pushed until I walked away. She even said since I'd come out my mind was elsewhere and my installations were now 'shit'. Even though my completion forms had words such as 'outstanding' on every one.

I now install for a company who 'puts their name on it' and have just answered a text to my new manager and told him I'm transgender.

You answered his text ... and told him you're transgender?

Is it your intention during your working day to present as female ? "

Yes. I intend to present as female all the time.

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By *hocolatefountainCouple
over a year ago

Blackburn


"Not really following the link between the title and the thread? Are you saying that the first manager treated you in a way that had you been an employee than you would have had a case for constructive dismissal? If so, yes it sounds like you would have. "

I thought this too.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"Not really following the link between the title and the thread? Are you saying that the first manager treated you in a way that had you been an employee than you would have had a case for constructive dismissal? If so, yes it sounds like you would have.

Yes, basically.

As a subcontractor though, it was easy for her to just not offer me any more work.

I easily found another contract as I'm well known in the area and have 15 years and getting on for 650 bathrooms under my belt.

I'm not willing to hide who I am any more. I wear my pride bracelet and an ankle chain 24/7

I wear female short shorts, female pumps and their company polo shirt.

My shaved legs and tattoos are clear to see, as is my very patchy beard colour as the laser chips away at removing it.

"

Yes, the self employed face the most corrupt working practices and are the least talked about group by our politicians.

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By *ovis and GreeneyesCouple
over a year ago

Swansea

Just be who you want to be, if you have as much experience fitting it should not matter what gender or how you dress.

Informing your boss by text maybe not the best way to go around it, especially as a reply text so he/she may well think your joking maybe ask for a face to face & explain yourself properly and take it from there??

Good luck. Xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hoping his reply of "shut up" was of surprise rather than not wanting to hear it.

Surprise I expect.

We only know you as Rachel. It must come as a huge surprise to someone who only knows you as a male colleague.

Do you know him very well?

Kind of. I've been installing for this company since October.

I wanted him to see how good I am at this before throwing the spanner in.

Was text the best way to do it? I can well understand how difficult the conversation is face to face but now he's wondering if you're serious and you're wondering what he meant.

Hope it all works out ok. X"

No. I never intended to say it by text.

He asked my availability for work and I listed two long weekends as unavailable and he asked if I was doing anything nice.

I said I would be at pride. My next text said I'd show him the other me and then I realised that could be misread as an inappropriate text so I hastily explained I was trans.

Sometimes I speak too openly. Yes I make mistakes!!! It's true

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Yes, the self employed face the most corrupt working practices and are the least talked about group by our politicians. "

The government don't likes as self employed because they worry we do cash work and don't pay tax.

Unlike multinational companies who rake in billions, pay single figure percentages in tax if at all and slip back handsets directly into pockets to get away with it.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"

Yes, the self employed face the most corrupt working practices and are the least talked about group by our politicians.

The government don't likes as self employed because they worry we do cash work and don't pay tax.

Unlike multinational companies who rake in billions, pay single figure percentages in tax if at all and slip back handsets directly into pockets to get away with it. "

Yup, the self employed don't make donations or join trade unions. All the more reason to avoid paying tax as much as you legally can and bite the hand that doesn't feed you

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Hoping his reply of "shut up" was of surprise rather than not wanting to hear it.

Surprise I expect.

We only know you as Rachel. It must come as a huge surprise to someone who only knows you as a male colleague.

Do you know him very well?

Kind of. I've been installing for this company since October.

I wanted him to see how good I am at this before throwing the spanner in.

Was text the best way to do it? I can well understand how difficult the conversation is face to face but now he's wondering if you're serious and you're wondering what he meant.

Hope it all works out ok. X

No. I never intended to say it by text.

He asked my availability for work and I listed two long weekends as unavailable and he asked if I was doing anything nice.

I said I would be at pride. My next text said I'd show him the other me and then I realised that could be misread as an inappropriate text so I hastily explained I was trans.

Sometimes I speak too openly. Yes I make mistakes!!! It's true "

We all do Rachel.

I'm lucky the organisation I occasionally work for has a very positive lgbgtq policy.

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By *he horny kinkstersCouple
over a year ago

North West

We hope it all goes ok. We don't post much but read a lot on here and you never fail to make us smile so may everything go as you hope and may Santa finally bring you a penguin this year.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"We hope it all goes ok. We don't post much but read a lot on here and you never fail to make us smile so may everything go as you hope and may Santa finally bring you a penguin this year. "

Lol. Thank you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to use a pub where the landlord/manager was always known to be gay, but then very occasionally he'd wear drag (on a Friday day, when there was a party atmosphere or whatever) nobody said anything... then he would dress as a woman on regular shifts, still nothing, so whilst the patrons kept their mouths shut, not wanting to be impolite, his attire would become more and more risque, up until the point where he was wearing a sparkling mini skirt and fishnets whilst serving families their Sunday lunch. Finally, after months of trying to be accepting, despite quite clearly having this shoved down their throats in an uncouth and inappropriate manner, someone said something to him like "Friday night's alright mate, but serving kids their lunch?" - He threw a huge hissy fit, barred the bloke (who'd been drinking there for about 30 years, long before this guy took over) and reported him to the police for "transphobia".

This guy made it known that he was a TV and received no hostility for it, but just had to continue pushing and pushing, almost as if feeling "discrimination" was his goal all along.

I'm not saying that you are similarly looking for bigotry where there is none, but I have heard that this is increasingly common among LGBT people in the work place.

I have quite a few gay people in my workplace and stay well clear of them for this exact reason... Any professional disagreement could end in you being locked up for a hate crime, it's an absolute joke.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Well, as I say, I have yet to see how this manager treats me.

When you suppress who you are for so long, when you do accept it and then open up and admit it, you tend to then shout it from the treetops.

There is no need to declare your sexuality but 'pride' is all about being proud of who you are.

Being trans is a little more complex, in my view. Sleeping with men privately doesn't affect my interaction with the people I work amongst.

Presenting as female when I clearly was born in a male form is hard to ignore.

The transvestites, cross dressers and drag artists of the world have enjoyed the spotlight for so long people often don't understand that trans people aren't 'dressing in women's clothes' because we 'like it' or get off on it.

There are some on here who imagine trans people ( I say people rather than women or girls because I include the trans guys too) some people imagine we see ourself as 'better than' the TVs and cd's.

I'd like to set that straight; no we don't. Well I don't. I just come across people who assume they already know my reasons for dressing the way I do everyday. They got their misconceived reasons from the gregarious TVs and CDs they've seen in the media and occasionally on the streets. That perception is difficult to overcome. That's what bugs trans people.

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

When you present in female clothing, will that be in flats, trousers and unisex top - lots of women doing jobs involving practical tasks do including myself ? If so, I can't see a problem.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I used to use a pub where the landlord/manager was always known to be gay, but then very occasionally he'd wear drag (on a Friday day, when there was a party atmosphere or whatever) nobody said anything... then he would dress as a woman on regular shifts, still nothing, so whilst the patrons kept their mouths shut, not wanting to be impolite, his attire would become more and more risque, up until the point where he was wearing a sparkling mini skirt and fishnets whilst serving families their Sunday lunch. Finally, after months of trying to be accepting, despite quite clearly having this shoved down their throats in an uncouth and inappropriate manner, someone said something to him like "Friday night's alright mate, but serving kids their lunch?" - He threw a huge hissy fit, barred the bloke (who'd been drinking there for about 30 years, long before this guy took over) and reported him to the police for "transphobia".

This guy made it known that he was a TV and received no hostility for it, but just had to continue pushing and pushing, almost as if feeling "discrimination" was his goal all along.

I'm not saying that you are similarly looking for bigotry where there is none, but I have heard that this is increasingly common among LGBT people in the work place.

I have quite a few gay people in my workplace and stay well clear of them for this exact reason... Any professional disagreement could end in you being locked up for a hate crime, it's an absolute joke."

I completely see what you're getting at and I think that landlord was indeed pushing his kink inappropriately.

I dress in a short skirt in sex clubs.

When I'm in my local pub I wear a full length skirt. I may wear a crop top. I wear flip flops or pumps.

New Year's Eve I was the dj so I put on a little black dress and heels. Classy. Not slutty. I was asked to dj as myself rather than as male.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

On a slightly different note I saw a guy in heels, tights and a skirt walking along with an iron maiden t shirt on and a beard and no one batted an eyelid. Not even me. It's no big deal in Brighton generally speaking. People can be very acceptIng if they know things.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"When you present in female clothing, will that be in flats, trousers and unisex top - lots of women doing jobs involving practical tasks do including myself ? If so, I can't see a problem. "

That's kind of what I do now. Only I wear shorts.

My hair is still short so I'm clearly male. I intend to grow it and am waiting to see the gender clinic to start hormones, where I'll then develop breasts.

I want to change work eventually so I can wear more feminine attire and get away from the unisex look.

That's for me; it's a bit like power dressing.

My physique is very male with my muscle mass and lack of boobdage and hips. I need all the help I can get to be taken seriously as female rather than a cross dressed male.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Yup, the self employed don't ... join trade unions."

Depends on the individual and their industry. I personally have benfited massively from the work of my union both individually and collectively and see my subscription fees as a smart investment.

I know of several individuals who were protected from discriminatory managers by their union.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"

Yup, the self employed don't ... join trade unions.

Depends on the individual and their industry. I personally have benfited massively from the work of my union both individually and collectively and see my subscription fees as a smart investment.

I know of several individuals who were protected from discriminatory managers by their union."

Interesting, what industry are you in?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

UCATT is the union for construction and allied trades...being self employed you can still join and have them represent you. We are also in construction and often see discrimination be it sexual or racial. We don't tolerate it but have to remember that construction has predominantly been male dominated and a macho type image that many still try to effect. It's a case of do we let the odd joke pass or not as being totally politically correct wouldn't win many friends in this industry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hoping his reply of "shut up" was of surprise rather than not wanting to hear it.

Surprise I expect.

We only know you as Rachel. It must come as a huge surprise to someone who only knows you as a male colleague.

Do you know him very well?

Kind of. I've been installing for this company since October.

I wanted him to see how good I am at this before throwing the spanner in.

"

As far as im aware doesnt matter what gender or orentation you are.

As its the discrimination and equality act. We are treated the same and as one

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By *londieddWoman
over a year ago

fife


"UCATT is the union for construction and allied trades...being self employed you can still join and have them represent you. We are also in construction and often see discrimination be it sexual or racial. We don't tolerate it but have to remember that construction has predominantly been male dominated and a macho type image that many still try to effect. It's a case of do we let the odd joke pass or not as being totally politically correct wouldn't win many friends in this industry."

ucatt does not exist now!

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By *andS66Couple
over a year ago

Derby


"Let's see if it happens twice.

After coming out to my installation manager for a company who likes to 'make a house a home' things changed.

As a self employed bathroom fitter I was pushed until I walked away. She even said since I'd come out my mind was elsewhere and my installations were now 'shit'. Even though my completion forms had words such as 'outstanding' on every one.

I now install for a company who 'puts their name on it' and have just answered a text to my new manager and told him I'm transgender.

"

Are you still self employed? If so you can't be dismissed, and neither can you be constructively dismissed.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Let's see if it happens twice.

After coming out to my installation manager for a company who likes to 'make a house a home' things changed.

As a self employed bathroom fitter I was pushed until I walked away. She even said since I'd come out my mind was elsewhere and my installations were now 'shit'. Even though my completion forms had words such as 'outstanding' on every one.

I now install for a company who 'puts their name on it' and have just answered a text to my new manager and told him I'm transgender.

Are you still self employed? If so you can't be dismissed, and neither can you be constructively dismissed."

I am self employed so I realise I can't be dismissed from a job I don't have.

I wasn't sure how to word it otherwise. I was the sole fitter for bathrooms for this company for four stores for about nine years.

Only once I answered my then managers questions about why I chose such a feminine tattoo, had smooth legs etc did I find the undermining start and the work dry up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I need a new bathroom and if you are self employed with decent portfolio/recommendations I'd employ you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you are dismissed as being self employed as you are "transgender" and could be proven this is discrimination and the company can be still held accountable for and fined (worse case) as they are finishing you off on a contact for no other reason but your gender!

The equality act 2010. is pretty comprehensible and with acas or a good solicitor should it need this. will be able to fight it to the courts if need be

Hope it helps x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I need a new bathroom and if you are self employed with decent portfolio/recommendations I'd employ you!"

I have a mahoosive portfolio and more recommendations than I can shake a stick at. I live in south Somerset though but I appreciate you saying you'd employ my services xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If you are dismissed as being self employed as you are "transgender" and could be proven this is discrimination and the company can be still held accountable for and fined (worse case) as they are finishing you off on a contact for no other reason but your gender!

The equality act 2010. is pretty comprehensible and with acas or a good solicitor should it need this. will be able to fight it to the courts if need be

Hope it helps x

"

Well I don't intend taking action against the last firm. I don't think coming out as a trans who is demanding her rights is the best way to do it.

I just moved on.

I'm just hoping I don't get the same with this company.

If I do, I'll stop using these firms to fill my diary and start filling it myself. Just means more work doing the quotes and finding the suite etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Couldn't you just do an interview to the local paper and then maybe use the publicity for your own business?

Maybe along the lines of traditional businesses won't use you but local people have been really supportive?

One way to make lemonade

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Yes, the self employed face the most corrupt working practices and are the least talked about group by our politicians.

The government don't likes as self employed because they worry we do cash work and don't pay tax.

Unlike multinational companies who rake in billions, pay single figure percentages in tax if at all and slip back handsets directly into pockets to get away with it. "

True words.

Stick it to the man Rachel!

The revolution will start on fabs

Fuzz

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

There's not a lot I can do, other than offer hugs and support.

Chin up, princess xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I used to use a pub where the landlord/manager was always known to be gay, but then very occasionally he'd wear drag (on a Friday day, when there was a party atmosphere or whatever) nobody said anything... then he would dress as a woman on regular shifts, still nothing, so whilst the patrons kept their mouths shut, not wanting to be impolite, his attire would become more and more risque, up until the point where he was wearing a sparkling mini skirt and fishnets whilst serving families their Sunday lunch. Finally, after months of trying to be accepting, despite quite clearly having this shoved down their throats in an uncouth and inappropriate manner, someone said something to him like "Friday night's alright mate, but serving kids their lunch?" - He threw a huge hissy fit, barred the bloke (who'd been drinking there for about 30 years, long before this guy took over) and reported him to the police for "transphobia".

This guy made it known that he was a TV and received no hostility for it, but just had to continue pushing and pushing, almost as if feeling "discrimination" was his goal all along.

I'm not saying that you are similarly looking for bigotry where there is none, but I have heard that this is increasingly common among LGBT people in the work place.

I have quite a few gay people in my workplace and stay well clear of them for this exact reason... Any professional disagreement could end in you being locked up for a hate crime, it's an absolute joke."

A new manager of another department was introducing himself to other managers; he came to my desk and told me his name, who he was and that he way gay. WTF; I retorted with, "congratulations"; nobody has ever introduced them to me with "I am straight"

Why do Gays do this? It is like they want to push their homosexuality in your face

- Mrs. J -

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

A new manager of another department was introducing himself to other managers; he came to my desk and told me his name, who he was and that he way gay. WTF; I retorted with, "congratulations"; nobody has ever introduced them to me with "I am straight"

Why do Gays do this? It is like they want to push their homosexuality in your face

- Mrs. J -"

I totally get your point and used to think the same, however, I don't feel so strongly about that now I've come out myself.

You don't 'come out' as straight because it's assumed you are and that's 'normal'.

It takes a lot of guts to admit to yourself and then your family and then people around you that you're attracted to members of your own sex.

Once you do it's very liberating and you feel so much better about yourself. You kind of go through a 'shout it from the roof tops' phase and then it calms down and you no longer feel the need to.

i said further up that my sexuality is irrelevant to my work so it's not something I bother telling people.

My gender issue is a bit more obvious and so I get asked 'why?'

I'm keen to explain it's not a kink. I'm not dressing up because I find it exciting. I don't want them feeling they are unwilling participants in my sex life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Speaking from an employer perspective, if you're good at your job reliable & trustworthy I wouldn't give a dam on your gender etc . Would you like a job ? Finding top quality tradespersons is an absolute nightmare

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Speaking from an employer perspective, if you're good at your job reliable & trustworthy I wouldn't give a dam on your gender etc . Would you like a job ? Finding top quality tradespersons is an absolute nightmare "

That's really nice of you.

Yes, I consider myself a top tradesperson. I'm not looking for a job though. I like being self employed.

It still remains to be seen how things will pan out with this company. Hopefully it will all be good.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hope it works out for you Rachael, know you have the support of us here on fab xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

A new manager of another department was introducing himself to other managers; he came to my desk and told me his name, who he was and that he way gay. WTF; I retorted with, "congratulations"; nobody has ever introduced them to me with "I am straight"

Why do Gays do this? It is like they want to push their homosexuality in your face

- Mrs. J -"

Yep, obviously it's not all, but a very large portion I have met almost seem disappointed when they don't experience homophobia so engineer a scenario where they feel like they are experiencing it.

It's like being allowed to get married, but then demanding you're allowed to do it in places of worship thay forbid it. It just comes across as looking for confrontation. My mum has been married 5 times and wasn't allowed to have any marriages after her first in a church, she didn't start screaming to the media about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

A new manager of another department was introducing himself to other managers; he came to my desk and told me his name, who he was and that he way gay. WTF; I retorted with, "congratulations"; nobody has ever introduced them to me with "I am straight"

Why do Gays do this? It is like they want to push their homosexuality in your face

- Mrs. J -

I totally get your point and used to think the same, however, I don't feel so strongly about that now I've come out myself.

You don't 'come out' as straight because it's assumed you are and that's 'normal'.

It takes a lot of guts to admit to yourself and then your family and then people around you that you're attracted to members of your own sex.

Once you do it's very liberating and you feel so much better about yourself. You kind of go through a 'shout it from the roof tops' phase and then it calms down and you no longer feel the need to.

i said further up that my sexuality is irrelevant to my work so it's not something I bother telling people.

My gender issue is a bit more obvious and so I get asked 'why?'

I'm keen to explain it's not a kink. I'm not dressing up because I find it exciting. I don't want them feeling they are unwilling participants in my sex life. "

I don't think it helps the Gay cause them brandishing their homosexuality at the workplace. Afterall, lesbian women don't go around saying, "my name is Mary and I am a lesbian"

Who they are and what they do with each other in their bedrooms is not something I am particularly keen on finding out. It makes no difference if one is gay, straight, bisexual, lesbian as long as they can do their job well

- Mrs. J -

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Funny you say it's the men. I've worked for three gay male couples and one where one half was trans m to f.

All of them were lovely people.

I've worked for two single gay females and they were both fairly defensive until they realised I was more into men than ladies.

I refused to quote one job, the only time ever, a number of years ago. I met one half of a lesbian couple and never before have I dealt with someone so agressive from the outset. It was a couple of days after I saw her she rang to ask how long it would be until she received my quote and I just told her I was sorry but I wouldn't be quoting for her job. She asked why and I said it was because I found her too aggressive and didn't feel comfortable working for her. She went straight in accusing me of homophobia which fell apart when I simply described myself as gay. The conversation faltered and we ended it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a little confused here OP. How can you claim constructive dismissal if you're self employed?

And you are aware of what constructive dismissal is are you?

If you're self employed things work differently. Effectively your 'company' is engaged by another for a service.

It kinda works a bit like when you take your car for a service. You are not directly employing a mechanic - you are buying the services or product of a company.

Suggest perhaps you look up the Employment rights act, but if you're classed as self employed you'll find you have fewer rights

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm a little confused here OP. How can you claim constructive dismissal if you're self employed?

And you are aware of what constructive dismissal is are you?

If you're self employed things work differently. Effectively your 'company' is engaged by another for a service.

It kinda works a bit like when you take your car for a service. You are not directly employing a mechanic - you are buying the services or product of a company.

Suggest perhaps you look up the Employment rights act, but if you're classed as self employed you'll find you have fewer rights"

Exactly; it would be like I open a corner shop and you used to shop there until Waitrose started to offer a cheaper or better alternative. And even if they didn't, I could hardly claim constructive dismissal by you

- Mrs. J -

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Employment Law does not apply to self employed...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Further up the thread you'll see I said I knew it's not constructive dismissal. I don't know what else to call it though.

Effectively I worked as a sub contractor for a massive company for years.

Many of the store staff I dealt with knew my situation and it was of no concern to them. When my installation manager found out she actively made things difficult and cut off my supply of work.

What would you call that?

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

[Removed by poster at 15/07/17 13:54:11]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I used to use a pub where the landlord/manager was always known to be gay, but then very occasionally he'd wear drag (on a Friday day, when there was a party atmosphere or whatever) nobody said anything... then he would dress as a woman on regular shifts, still nothing, so whilst the patrons kept their mouths shut, not wanting to be impolite, his attire would become more and more risque, up until the point where he was wearing a sparkling mini skirt and fishnets whilst serving families their Sunday lunch. Finally, after months of trying to be accepting, despite quite clearly having this shoved down their throats in an uncouth and inappropriate manner, someone said something to him like "Friday night's alright mate, but serving kids their lunch?" - He threw a huge hissy fit, barred the bloke (who'd been drinking there for about 30 years, long before this guy took over) and reported him to the police for "transphobia".

This guy made it known that he was a TV and received no hostility for it, but just had to continue pushing and pushing, almost as if feeling "discrimination" was his goal all along.

I'm not saying that you are similarly looking for bigotry where there is none, but I have heard that this is increasingly common among LGBT people in the work place.

I have quite a few gay people in my workplace and stay well clear of them for this exact reason... Any professional disagreement could end in you being locked up for a hate crime, it's an absolute joke.

A new manager of another department was introducing himself to other managers; he came to my desk and told me his name, who he was and that he way gay. WTF; I retorted with, "congratulations"; nobody has ever introduced them to me with "I am straight"

Why do Gays do this? It is like they want to push their homosexuality in your face

- Mrs. J -"

So because one person did it with you 'gays' do this . Also telling someone you're gay isn't pushing it in their face . That would be having a fuck on their desk . This is the second thread I've seen you post on this morning and you aren't coming across very well at all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I used to use a pub where the landlord/manager was always known to be gay, but then very occasionally he'd wear drag (on a Friday day, when there was a party atmosphere or whatever) nobody said anything... then he would dress as a woman on regular shifts, still nothing, so whilst the patrons kept their mouths shut, not wanting to be impolite, his attire would become more and more risque, up until the point where he was wearing a sparkling mini skirt and fishnets whilst serving families their Sunday lunch. Finally, after months of trying to be accepting, despite quite clearly having this shoved down their throats in an uncouth and inappropriate manner, someone said something to him like "Friday night's alright mate, but serving kids their lunch?" - He threw a huge hissy fit, barred the bloke (who'd been drinking there for about 30 years, long before this guy took over) and reported him to the police for "transphobia".

This guy made it known that he was a TV and received no hostility for it, but just had to continue pushing and pushing, almost as if feeling "discrimination" was his goal all along.

I'm not saying that you are similarly looking for bigotry where there is none, but I have heard that this is increasingly common among LGBT people in the work place.

I have quite a few gay people in my workplace and stay well clear of them for this exact reason... Any professional disagreement could end in you being locked up for a hate crime, it's an absolute joke.

A new manager of another department was introducing himself to other managers; he came to my desk and told me his name, who he was and that he way gay. WTF; I retorted with, "congratulations"; nobody has ever introduced them to me with "I am straight"

Why do Gays do this? It is like they want to push their homosexuality in your face

- Mrs. J -

So because one person did it with you 'gays' do this . Also telling someone you're gay isn't pushing it in their face . That would be having a fuck on their desk . This is the second thread I've seen you post on this morning and you aren't coming across very well at all "

No, that was just one example; we have quite a few Gay men in our workplace and they do state their sexuality from time-to-time; I don't hear that from straight people

Not coming across very well??? Who to? You??? As if I care

- Mrs. J -

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I used to use a pub where the landlord/manager was always known to be gay, but then very occasionally he'd wear drag (on a Friday day, when there was a party atmosphere or whatever) nobody said anything... then he would dress as a woman on regular shifts, still nothing, so whilst the patrons kept their mouths shut, not wanting to be impolite, his attire would become more and more risque, up until the point where he was wearing a sparkling mini skirt and fishnets whilst serving families their Sunday lunch. Finally, after months of trying to be accepting, despite quite clearly having this shoved down their throats in an uncouth and inappropriate manner, someone said something to him like "Friday night's alright mate, but serving kids their lunch?" - He threw a huge hissy fit, barred the bloke (who'd been drinking there for about 30 years, long before this guy took over) and reported him to the police for "transphobia".

This guy made it known that he was a TV and received no hostility for it, but just had to continue pushing and pushing, almost as if feeling "discrimination" was his goal all along.

I'm not saying that you are similarly looking for bigotry where there is none, but I have heard that this is increasingly common among LGBT people in the work place.

I have quite a few gay people in my workplace and stay well clear of them for this exact reason... Any professional disagreement could end in you being locked up for a hate crime, it's an absolute joke.

A new manager of another department was introducing himself to other managers; he came to my desk and told me his name, who he was and that he way gay. WTF; I retorted with, "congratulations"; nobody has ever introduced them to me with "I am straight"

Why do Gays do this? It is like they want to push their homosexuality in your face

- Mrs. J -

So because one person did it with you 'gays' do this . Also telling someone you're gay isn't pushing it in their face . That would be having a fuck on their desk . This is the second thread I've seen you post on this morning and you aren't coming across very well at all

No, that was just one example; we have quite a few Gay men in our workplace and they do state their sexuality from time-to-time; I don't hear that from straight people

Not coming across very well??? Who to? You??? As if I care

- Mrs. J -"

You don't hear it from straight people as we aren't required to 'come out' it's assumed your straight until you state otherwise .

And I don't recall stating you had to care . I was just sharing my opinion as I'm entitled to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I used to use a pub where the landlord/manager was always known to be gay, but then very occasionally he'd wear drag (on a Friday day, when there was a party atmosphere or whatever) nobody said anything... then he would dress as a woman on regular shifts, still nothing, so whilst the patrons kept their mouths shut, not wanting to be impolite, his attire would become more and more risque, up until the point where he was wearing a sparkling mini skirt and fishnets whilst serving families their Sunday lunch. Finally, after months of trying to be accepting, despite quite clearly having this shoved down their throats in an uncouth and inappropriate manner, someone said something to him like "Friday night's alright mate, but serving kids their lunch?" - He threw a huge hissy fit, barred the bloke (who'd been drinking there for about 30 years, long before this guy took over) and reported him to the police for "transphobia".

This guy made it known that he was a TV and received no hostility for it, but just had to continue pushing and pushing, almost as if feeling "discrimination" was his goal all along.

I'm not saying that you are similarly looking for bigotry where there is none, but I have heard that this is increasingly common among LGBT people in the work place.

I have quite a few gay people in my workplace and stay well clear of them for this exact reason... Any professional disagreement could end in you being locked up for a hate crime, it's an absolute joke.

A new manager of another department was introducing himself to other managers; he came to my desk and told me his name, who he was and that he way gay. WTF; I retorted with, "congratulations"; nobody has ever introduced them to me with "I am straight"

Why do Gays do this? It is like they want to push their homosexuality in your face

- Mrs. J -

So because one person did it with you 'gays' do this . Also telling someone you're gay isn't pushing it in their face . That would be having a fuck on their desk . This is the second thread I've seen you post on this morning and you aren't coming across very well at all

No, that was just one example; we have quite a few Gay men in our workplace and they do state their sexuality from time-to-time; I don't hear that from straight people

Not coming across very well??? Who to? You??? As if I care

- Mrs. J -

You don't hear it from straight people as we aren't required to 'come out' it's assumed your straight until you state otherwise .

And I don't recall stating you had to care . I was just sharing my opinion as I'm entitled to "

There is no reason for anyone, straight or gay, to state their sexuality to colleagues. It is the workplace, not a sex-club

- Mrs. J -

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I used to use a pub where the landlord/manager was always known to be gay, but then very occasionally he'd wear drag (on a Friday day, when there was a party atmosphere or whatever) nobody said anything... then he would dress as a woman on regular shifts, still nothing, so whilst the patrons kept their mouths shut, not wanting to be impolite, his attire would become more and more risque, up until the point where he was wearing a sparkling mini skirt and fishnets whilst serving families their Sunday lunch. Finally, after months of trying to be accepting, despite quite clearly having this shoved down their throats in an uncouth and inappropriate manner, someone said something to him like "Friday night's alright mate, but serving kids their lunch?" - He threw a huge hissy fit, barred the bloke (who'd been drinking there for about 30 years, long before this guy took over) and reported him to the police for "transphobia".

This guy made it known that he was a TV and received no hostility for it, but just had to continue pushing and pushing, almost as if feeling "discrimination" was his goal all along.

I'm not saying that you are similarly looking for bigotry where there is none, but I have heard that this is increasingly common among LGBT people in the work place.

I have quite a few gay people in my workplace and stay well clear of them for this exact reason... Any professional disagreement could end in you being locked up for a hate crime, it's an absolute joke.

A new manager of another department was introducing himself to other managers; he came to my desk and told me his name, who he was and that he way gay. WTF; I retorted with, "congratulations"; nobody has ever introduced them to me with "I am straight"

Why do Gays do this? It is like they want to push their homosexuality in your face

- Mrs. J -

So because one person did it with you 'gays' do this . Also telling someone you're gay isn't pushing it in their face . That would be having a fuck on their desk . This is the second thread I've seen you post on this morning and you aren't coming across very well at all

No, that was just one example; we have quite a few Gay men in our workplace and they do state their sexuality from time-to-time; I don't hear that from straight people

Not coming across very well??? Who to? You??? As if I care

- Mrs. J -

You don't hear it from straight people as we aren't required to 'come out' it's assumed your straight until you state otherwise .

And I don't recall stating you had to care . I was just sharing my opinion as I'm entitled to

There is no reason for anyone, straight or gay, to state their sexuality to colleagues. It is the workplace, not a sex-club

- Mrs. J -"

It is natural in the work place to share information . For example I know my colleagues have kids , how old they are etc . I don't see the difference

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I used to use a pub where the landlord/manager was always known to be gay, but then very occasionally he'd wear drag (on a Friday day, when there was a party atmosphere or whatever) nobody said anything... then he would dress as a woman on regular shifts, still nothing, so whilst the patrons kept their mouths shut, not wanting to be impolite, his attire would become more and more risque, up until the point where he was wearing a sparkling mini skirt and fishnets whilst serving families their Sunday lunch. Finally, after months of trying to be accepting, despite quite clearly having this shoved down their throats in an uncouth and inappropriate manner, someone said something to him like "Friday night's alright mate, but serving kids their lunch?" - He threw a huge hissy fit, barred the bloke (who'd been drinking there for about 30 years, long before this guy took over) and reported him to the police for "transphobia".

This guy made it known that he was a TV and received no hostility for it, but just had to continue pushing and pushing, almost as if feeling "discrimination" was his goal all along.

I'm not saying that you are similarly looking for bigotry where there is none, but I have heard that this is increasingly common among LGBT people in the work place.

I have quite a few gay people in my workplace and stay well clear of them for this exact reason... Any professional disagreement could end in you being locked up for a hate crime, it's an absolute joke.

A new manager of another department was introducing himself to other managers; he came to my desk and told me his name, who he was and that he way gay. WTF; I retorted with, "congratulations"; nobody has ever introduced them to me with "I am straight"

Why do Gays do this? It is like they want to push their homosexuality in your face

- Mrs. J -

So because one person did it with you 'gays' do this . Also telling someone you're gay isn't pushing it in their face . That would be having a fuck on their desk . This is the second thread I've seen you post on this morning and you aren't coming across very well at all

No, that was just one example; we have quite a few Gay men in our workplace and they do state their sexuality from time-to-time; I don't hear that from straight people

Not coming across very well??? Who to? You??? As if I care

- Mrs. J -

You don't hear it from straight people as we aren't required to 'come out' it's assumed your straight until you state otherwise .

And I don't recall stating you had to care . I was just sharing my opinion as I'm entitled to

There is no reason for anyone, straight or gay, to state their sexuality to colleagues. It is the workplace, not a sex-club

- Mrs. J -

It is natural in the work place to share information . For example I know my colleagues have kids , how old they are etc . I don't see the difference "

Fair enough

I am not used that that kind of a business environment. Most do not even know that I got married; it is none of their business as it is none of my business to know anything about them

I am a bisexual-ish woman but I have never felt the burning urge to inform my colleagues of my sexuality

- Mrs. J -

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I used to use a pub where the landlord/manager was always known to be gay, but then very occasionally he'd wear drag (on a Friday day, when there was a party atmosphere or whatever) nobody said anything... then he would dress as a woman on regular shifts, still nothing, so whilst the patrons kept their mouths shut, not wanting to be impolite, his attire would become more and more risque, up until the point where he was wearing a sparkling mini skirt and fishnets whilst serving families their Sunday lunch. Finally, after months of trying to be accepting, despite quite clearly having this shoved down their throats in an uncouth and inappropriate manner, someone said something to him like "Friday night's alright mate, but serving kids their lunch?" - He threw a huge hissy fit, barred the bloke (who'd been drinking there for about 30 years, long before this guy took over) and reported him to the police for "transphobia".

This guy made it known that he was a TV and received no hostility for it, but just had to continue pushing and pushing, almost as if feeling "discrimination" was his goal all along.

I'm not saying that you are similarly looking for bigotry where there is none, but I have heard that this is increasingly common among LGBT people in the work place.

I have quite a few gay people in my workplace and stay well clear of them for this exact reason... Any professional disagreement could end in you being locked up for a hate crime, it's an absolute joke.

A new manager of another department was introducing himself to other managers; he came to my desk and told me his name, who he was and that he way gay. WTF; I retorted with, "congratulations"; nobody has ever introduced them to me with "I am straight"

Why do Gays do this? It is like they want to push their homosexuality in your face

- Mrs. J -

So because one person did it with you 'gays' do this . Also telling someone you're gay isn't pushing it in their face . That would be having a fuck on their desk . This is the second thread I've seen you post on this morning and you aren't coming across very well at all

No, that was just one example; we have quite a few Gay men in our workplace and they do state their sexuality from time-to-time; I don't hear that from straight people

Not coming across very well??? Who to? You??? As if I care

- Mrs. J -

You don't hear it from straight people as we aren't required to 'come out' it's assumed your straight until you state otherwise .

And I don't recall stating you had to care . I was just sharing my opinion as I'm entitled to

There is no reason for anyone, straight or gay, to state their sexuality to colleagues. It is the workplace, not a sex-club

- Mrs. J -"

So was I wrong to tell a mate I was going to be working away with and sharing a room that I'm bi?

I thought he ought to know beforehand so he could opt not to share if he preferred.

He was the first friend I told.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My son gets some catty remarks from his workmates because he looks very feminine. He has long hair, feminine facial features, very little facial hair and an hour glass figure. He's been mistaken several times in the past for a female, he's actually straight. What doesn't help the gay cause is workmates nudging each other, speculating about people's sexuality who look different or who they think are gay. That's quite likely a reason why the gay manager introduced himself as gay, to save the other staff the trouble of tittering and gossiping. XXX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well, as I say, I have yet to see how this manager treats me.

When you suppress who you are for so long, when you do accept it and then open up and admit it, you tend to then shout it from the treetops.

There is no need to declare your sexuality but 'pride' is all about being proud of who you are.

Being trans is a little more complex, in my view. Sleeping with men privately doesn't affect my interaction with the people I work amongst.

Presenting as female when I clearly was born in a male form is hard to ignore.

The transvestites, cross dressers and drag artists of the world have enjoyed the spotlight for so long people often don't understand that trans people aren't 'dressing in women's clothes' because we 'like it' or get off on it.

*** There are some on here who imagine trans people ( I say people rather than women or girls because I include the trans guys too) some people imagine we see ourself as 'better than' the TVs and cd's. ***

I'd like to set that straight; no we don't. Well I don't. I just come across people who assume they already know my reasons for dressing the way I do everyday. They got their misconceived reasons from the gregarious TVs and CDs they've seen in the media and occasionally on the streets. That perception is difficult to overcome. That's what bugs trans people. "

Rachael some people ***do*** do this- the bit I've highlighted. It will take time for people to recalibrate their understanding.

Hope it goes ok with your new boss. As I've said before, respect works both ways. Help him with his understanding and maybe he can help you too.

And don't wear female shorts if it means there's a risk you could get a bloody big cut down your leg off a broken tile! x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I used to use a pub where the landlord/manager was always known to be gay, but then very occasionally he'd wear drag (on a Friday day, when there was a party atmosphere or whatever) nobody said anything... then he would dress as a woman on regular shifts, still nothing, so whilst the patrons kept their mouths shut, not wanting to be impolite, his attire would become more and more risque, up until the point where he was wearing a sparkling mini skirt and fishnets whilst serving families their Sunday lunch. Finally, after months of trying to be accepting, despite quite clearly having this shoved down their throats in an uncouth and inappropriate manner, someone said something to him like "Friday night's alright mate, but serving kids their lunch?" - He threw a huge hissy fit, barred the bloke (who'd been drinking there for about 30 years, long before this guy took over) and reported him to the police for "transphobia".

This guy made it known that he was a TV and received no hostility for it, but just had to continue pushing and pushing, almost as if feeling "discrimination" was his goal all along.

I'm not saying that you are similarly looking for bigotry where there is none, but I have heard that this is increasingly common among LGBT people in the work place.

I have quite a few gay people in my workplace and stay well clear of them for this exact reason... Any professional disagreement could end in you being locked up for a hate crime, it's an absolute joke."

Sparkly mini skirt and fishnets would be inappropriate workwear for a woman in a family pub on a Sunday. Sounds s/he like was taking the piss for a reaction.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Well, as I say, I have yet to see how this manager treats me.

When you suppress who you are for so long, when you do accept it and then open up and admit it, you tend to then shout it from the treetops.

There is no need to declare your sexuality but 'pride' is all about being proud of who you are.

Being trans is a little more complex, in my view. Sleeping with men privately doesn't affect my interaction with the people I work amongst.

Presenting as female when I clearly was born in a male form is hard to ignore.

The transvestites, cross dressers and drag artists of the world have enjoyed the spotlight for so long people often don't understand that trans people aren't 'dressing in women's clothes' because we 'like it' or get off on it.

*** There are some on here who imagine trans people ( I say people rather than women or girls because I include the trans guys too) some people imagine we see ourself as 'better than' the TVs and cd's. ***

I'd like to set that straight; no we don't. Well I don't. I just come across people who assume they already know my reasons for dressing the way I do everyday. They got their misconceived reasons from the gregarious TVs and CDs they've seen in the media and occasionally on the streets. That perception is difficult to overcome. That's what bugs trans people.

Rachael some people ***do*** do this- the bit I've highlighted. It will take time for people to recalibrate their understanding.

Hope it goes ok with your new boss. As I've said before, respect works both ways. Help him with his understanding and maybe he can help you too.

And don't wear female shorts if it means there's a risk you could get a bloody big cut down your leg off a broken tile! x"

Rest assured I wear work trousers as I rip out and knock tiles off.

I change into shorts later as I overheat otherwise

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well, as I say, I have yet to see how this manager treats me.

When you suppress who you are for so long, when you do accept it and then open up and admit it, you tend to then shout it from the treetops.

There is no need to declare your sexuality but 'pride' is all about being proud of who you are.

Being trans is a little more complex, in my view. Sleeping with men privately doesn't affect my interaction with the people I work amongst.

Presenting as female when I clearly was born in a male form is hard to ignore.

The transvestites, cross dressers and drag artists of the world have enjoyed the spotlight for so long people often don't understand that trans people aren't 'dressing in women's clothes' because we 'like it' or get off on it.

*** There are some on here who imagine trans people ( I say people rather than women or girls because I include the trans guys too) some people imagine we see ourself as 'better than' the TVs and cd's. ***

I'd like to set that straight; no we don't. Well I don't. I just come across people who assume they already know my reasons for dressing the way I do everyday. They got their misconceived reasons from the gregarious TVs and CDs they've seen in the media and occasionally on the streets. That perception is difficult to overcome. That's what bugs trans people.

Rachael some people ***do*** do this- the bit I've highlighted. It will take time for people to recalibrate their understanding.

Hope it goes ok with your new boss. As I've said before, respect works both ways. Help him with his understanding and maybe he can help you too.

And don't wear female shorts if it means there's a risk you could get a bloody big cut down your leg off a broken tile! x

Rest assured I wear work trousers as I rip out and knock tiles off.

I change into shorts later as I overheat otherwise "

Glad to hear it. If I had legs as good as yours I'd look after them too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Well, as I say, I have yet to see how this manager treats me.

When you suppress who you are for so long, when you do accept it and then open up and admit it, you tend to then shout it from the treetops.

There is no need to declare your sexuality but 'pride' is all about being proud of who you are.

Being trans is a little more complex, in my view. Sleeping with men privately doesn't affect my interaction with the people I work amongst.

Presenting as female when I clearly was born in a male form is hard to ignore.

The transvestites, cross dressers and drag artists of the world have enjoyed the spotlight for so long people often don't understand that trans people aren't 'dressing in women's clothes' because we 'like it' or get off on it.

*** There are some on here who imagine trans people ( I say people rather than women or girls because I include the trans guys too) some people imagine we see ourself as 'better than' the TVs and cd's. ***

I'd like to set that straight; no we don't. Well I don't. I just come across people who assume they already know my reasons for dressing the way I do everyday. They got their misconceived reasons from the gregarious TVs and CDs they've seen in the media and occasionally on the streets. That perception is difficult to overcome. That's what bugs trans people.

Rachael some people ***do*** do this- the bit I've highlighted. It will take time for people to recalibrate their understanding.

Hope it goes ok with your new boss. As I've said before, respect works both ways. Help him with his understanding and maybe he can help you too.

And don't wear female shorts if it means there's a risk you could get a bloody big cut down your leg off a broken tile! x

Rest assured I wear work trousers as I rip out and knock tiles off.

I change into shorts later as I overheat otherwise

Glad to hear it. If I had legs as good as yours I'd look after them too. "

Thank you. I put a lot of effort into maintaining and improving things. Fighting nature's ideas and trying to make my look and feel more like I should be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I used to use a pub where the landlord/manager was always known to be gay, but then very occasionally he'd wear drag (on a Friday day, when there was a party atmosphere or whatever) nobody said anything... then he would dress as a woman on regular shifts, still nothing, so whilst the patrons kept their mouths shut, not wanting to be impolite, his attire would become more and more risque, up until the point where he was wearing a sparkling mini skirt and fishnets whilst serving families their Sunday lunch. Finally, after months of trying to be accepting, despite quite clearly having this shoved down their throats in an uncouth and inappropriate manner, someone said something to him like "Friday night's alright mate, but serving kids their lunch?" - He threw a huge hissy fit, barred the bloke (who'd been drinking there for about 30 years, long before this guy took over) and reported him to the police for "transphobia".

This guy made it known that he was a TV and received no hostility for it, but just had to continue pushing and pushing, almost as if feeling "discrimination" was his goal all along.

I'm not saying that you are similarly looking for bigotry where there is none, but I have heard that this is increasingly common among LGBT people in the work place.

I have quite a few gay people in my workplace and stay well clear of them for this exact reason... Any professional disagreement could end in you being locked up for a hate crime, it's an absolute joke.

A new manager of another department was introducing himself to other managers; he came to my desk and told me his name, who he was and that he way gay. WTF; I retorted with, "congratulations"; nobody has ever introduced them to me with "I am straight"

Why do Gays do this? It is like they want to push their homosexuality in your face

- Mrs. J -

So because one person did it with you 'gays' do this . Also telling someone you're gay isn't pushing it in their face . That would be having a fuck on their desk . This is the second thread I've seen you post on this morning and you aren't coming across very well at all

No, that was just one example; we have quite a few Gay men in our workplace and they do state their sexuality from time-to-time; I don't hear that from straight people

Not coming across very well??? Who to? You??? As if I care

- Mrs. J -

You don't hear it from straight people as we aren't required to 'come out' it's assumed your straight until you state otherwise .

And I don't recall stating you had to care . I was just sharing my opinion as I'm entitled to

There is no reason for anyone, straight or gay, to state their sexuality to colleagues. It is the workplace, not a sex-club

- Mrs. J -

So was I wrong to tell a mate I was going to be working away with and sharing a room that I'm bi?

I thought he ought to know beforehand so he could opt not to share if he preferred.

He was the first friend I told. "

I can't tell you whether what you did was wrong or right

I know that I wouldn't share a room with a colleague, be it male or female. And I know one thing about myself; in a business environment, such things do not even enter my head. Maybe that is why I am bemused when someone brings up something so personal and private to themselves

- Mrs. J -

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I used to use a pub where the landlord/manager was always known to be gay, but then very occasionally he'd wear drag (on a Friday day, when there was a party atmosphere or whatever) nobody said anything... then he would dress as a woman on regular shifts, still nothing, so whilst the patrons kept their mouths shut, not wanting to be impolite, his attire would become more and more risque, up until the point where he was wearing a sparkling mini skirt and fishnets whilst serving families their Sunday lunch. Finally, after months of trying to be accepting, despite quite clearly having this shoved down their throats in an uncouth and inappropriate manner, someone said something to him like "Friday night's alright mate, but serving kids their lunch?" - He threw a huge hissy fit, barred the bloke (who'd been drinking there for about 30 years, long before this guy took over) and reported him to the police for "transphobia".

This guy made it known that he was a TV and received no hostility for it, but just had to continue pushing and pushing, almost as if feeling "discrimination" was his goal all along.

I'm not saying that you are similarly looking for bigotry where there is none, but I have heard that this is increasingly common among LGBT people in the work place.

I have quite a few gay people in my workplace and stay well clear of them for this exact reason... Any professional disagreement could end in you being locked up for a hate crime, it's an absolute joke.

A new manager of another department was introducing himself to other managers; he came to my desk and told me his name, who he was and that he way gay. WTF; I retorted with, "congratulations"; nobody has ever introduced them to me with "I am straight"

Why do Gays do this? It is like they want to push their homosexuality in your face

- Mrs. J -

So because one person did it with you 'gays' do this . Also telling someone you're gay isn't pushing it in their face . That would be having a fuck on their desk . This is the second thread I've seen you post on this morning and you aren't coming across very well at all

No, that was just one example; we have quite a few Gay men in our workplace and they do state their sexuality from time-to-time; I don't hear that from straight people

Not coming across very well??? Who to? You??? As if I care

- Mrs. J -

You don't hear it from straight people as we aren't required to 'come out' it's assumed your straight until you state otherwise .

And I don't recall stating you had to care . I was just sharing my opinion as I'm entitled to

There is no reason for anyone, straight or gay, to state their sexuality to colleagues. It is the workplace, not a sex-club

- Mrs. J -

So was I wrong to tell a mate I was going to be working away with and sharing a room that I'm bi?

I thought he ought to know beforehand so he could opt not to share if he preferred.

He was the first friend I told.

I can't tell you whether what you did was wrong or right

I know that I wouldn't share a room with a colleague, be it male or female. And I know one thing about myself; in a business environment, such things do not even enter my head. Maybe that is why I am bemused when someone brings up something so personal and private to themselves

- Mrs. J -"

We're clearly very different people.

I work in people's homes. I'm very approachable. I must be because you'd be surprised the stuff people open up and tell me. I listen to their problems as I make their home beautiful.

I think it's clear from my posts on here that I'm a very open person.

I'm probably crap at business but that hasn't stopped me being in sight of my first million on paper.

I try to enjoy my life and leave my customers with a beautiful result better than they ever imagined.

Many of them recommend me and often shake my hand or even hug me as I leave saying they'll miss the fun I brought to their home. To come back for a brew if I'm passing.

That's how I do business.

I was going to work away from home with a mate. A guy I trained to do what I do after he left the Royal Marines. It was to earn a big chunk each in a short space of time. We were keeping costs low and, as mates, neither of us saw much point in having two hotel rooms. I just didn't want him to later think I'd be perving his body. Royal Marines arent shy and I knew he wouldn't worry about covering up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Further up the thread you'll see I said I knew it's not constructive dismissal. I don't know what else to call it though.

Effectively I worked as a sub contractor for a massive company for years.

Many of the store staff I dealt with knew my situation and it was of no concern to them. When my installation manager found out she actively made things difficult and cut off my supply of work.

What would you call that? "

Discrimination.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Further up the thread you'll see I said I knew it's not constructive dismissal. I don't know what else to call it though.

Effectively I worked as a sub contractor for a massive company for years.

Many of the store staff I dealt with knew my situation and it was of no concern to them. When my installation manager found out she actively made things difficult and cut off my supply of work.

What would you call that?

Discrimination.

"

Fairy snuff

I can't change the title now but can we all replace all references to constructive dismissal with discrimination please?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Speaking from an employer perspective, if you're good at your job reliable & trustworthy I wouldn't give a dam on your gender etc . Would you like a job ? Finding top quality tradespersons is an absolute nightmare

That's really nice of you.

Yes, I consider myself a top tradesperson. I'm not looking for a job though. I like being self employed.

It still remains to be seen how things will pan out with this company. Hopefully it will all be good. "

All the very best to you

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By *abcouple11Couple
over a year ago

Truro


"Not really following the link between the title and the thread? Are you saying that the first manager treated you in a way that had you been an employee than you would have had a case for constructive dismissal? If so, yes it sounds like you would have.

Yes, basically.

As a subcontractor though, it was easy for her to just not offer me any more work.

I easily found another contract as I'm well known in the area and have 15 years and getting on for 650 bathrooms under my belt.

I'm not willing to hide who I am any more. I wear my pride bracelet and an ankle chain 24/7

I wear female short shorts, female pumps and their company polo shirt.

My shaved legs and tattoos are clear to see, as is my very patchy beard colour as the laser chips away at removing it.

"

You make your own contribution to the world being a more cheerful buoyant place, that's for sure. I like your brief bright closed-ended glimpse of your good standing and credentials in the "real world"

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By *abcouple11Couple
over a year ago

Truro


"Hoping his reply of "shut up" was of surprise rather than not wanting to hear it. "

Step into a new role is the cleanest way to deal with such a situation? You maintain your professional reputation, with your abilities the only thing the onlooker sees.

There are corrupt tendencies matching each type of employment increasing at present in many workplaces, and complaining (registering a complaint) would tend to get into a "s/he said, we said, they said" nonsense. Which you don't have time for but they have any amount of time for. Usually the underlying explanation being incumbent "fuckwits" expelling the more able. We both agree with this.

Sounds like a "be happy" situation. You are with a better organisation? Success to you. Success to them, too

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