FabSwingers.com forum: Sharing my man!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So I'm reaching out to all you wonderful like minded lot as I need well rounded and non-judgemental advice!!

Me and my partner have been together 5yrs. We are engaged, completely in love and very happy.

He has a proper soft spot for risky sex and a darker side to that is sleeping with other women.

We are very open about our fantasies and what turns us on. We both love threesomes etc and hes more than happy for me to explore my bi side.

Basically I have told him that I am okay with him sleeping with other women. There are clear boundries I have given him including, condoms, purely NSA and a one meet rule.

But am I totally mental?? I trust him and am trying to be open but is this too far?

Does anyone else have experience in this from either side and can offer advice?

Thanks in advance

Cat xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have no issues if my husband sees other women. I know he'll always come back to me. I'm glad to share him, and glad other women find him desirable. I see it as no different from him eating a meal cooked by someone else.

Mrs

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By *our midnight manMan
over a year ago

Dublin

It's fine, just make sure you are both getting a kik out of his escapades! Otherwise its doormat territory. Just my opinion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is what too far? You allowing him to meet women, or your rules?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it would make you worry, feel uncomfortable or worse of all feel upset

THEN NO

Every partnership is different. Turn ons turn offs and rules. All different.

If at any point you don't enjoy or like something then stop.

Never do or agree to something that you would wake up in the morning and regret

Explore what turns you on. And that your partner loves too.

Your relationship is a priority. Swinging should be a sexy addition

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's fine, just make sure you are both getting a kik out of his escapades! Otherwise its doormat territory. Just my opinion "

If I didn't get a kick out of my partner fucking another woman it wouldn't be because I was a doormat. It would be because I was indifferent.

She's told him to do it. Is it only allowed if she gets a thrill from it. I would say it's selfish to not allow someone to do something because it does nothing for me.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"So I'm reaching out to all you wonderful like minded lot as I need well rounded and non-judgemental advice!!

Me and my partner have been together 5yrs. We are engaged, completely in love and very happy.

He has a proper soft spot for risky sex and a darker side to that is sleeping with other women.

We are very open about our fantasies and what turns us on. We both love threesomes etc and hes more than happy for me to explore my bi side.

Basically I have told him that I am okay with him sleeping with other women. There are clear boundries I have given him including, condoms, purely NSA and a one meet rule.

But am I totally mental?? I trust him and am trying to be open but is this too far?

Does anyone else have experience in this from either side and can offer advice?

Thanks in advance

Cat xxx"

Do you have doubts?

We don't meet alone, it's a boundary we have. Others do. There is no right or wrong only what's right or wrong for you.

If you are even slightly unsure hold back until you're comfortable, your relationship is too important to risk isn't it?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is what too far? You allowing him to meet women, or your rules? "

Me allowing him to meet other women. I dont feel like it is and the more i think about it the more comfortable I am. Figure I cant be the only one who has this agreement with their S/O so wanted some advice/stories on how people have found it!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If it would make you worry, feel uncomfortable or worse of all feel upset

THEN NO

Every partnership is different. Turn ons turn offs and rules. All different.

If at any point you don't enjoy or like something then stop.

Never do or agree to something that you would wake up in the morning and regret

Explore what turns you on. And that your partner loves too.

Your relationship is a priority. Swinging should be a sexy addition

Xx "

Thanks so much. I definately agree. I've never really considered it before but i know our relationship so i figure why not let him explore that side too! Xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have no issues if my husband sees other women. I know he'll always come back to me. I'm glad to share him, and glad other women find him desirable. I see it as no different from him eating a meal cooked by someone else.

Mrs"

Thanks Mrs! That's refreshing to hear. I feel the same way but less open minded friends think I'm borderline insane!!

Do you get a kick out of him meeting other women? What have your experiences of it been like? X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mrs

Thanks Mrs! That's refreshing to hear. I feel the same way but less open minded friends think I'm borderline insane!!

Do you get a kick out of him meeting other women? What have your experiences of it been like? X"

There's a woman he meets from time to time. Yes I enjoy that. It was more exciting the first time. Now it's just normal. She gives him things I don't wish to do, so I'm happy for him. On Fab we are just with a couples profile, so it's unlikely there will be anybody else unless he gets a singles profile. But I do enjoy watching him when we've been at parties together.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is what too far? You allowing him to meet women, or your rules?

No, it's what swingers do all the time. You already have 3somes. It will be the same but you won't be there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your Vero is a solo meet you had yourself?

Surely it's the exact same except its him doing it this tine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So I'm reaching out to all you wonderful like minded lot as I need well rounded and non-judgemental advice!!

Me and my partner have been together 5yrs. We are engaged, completely in love and very happy.

He has a proper soft spot for risky sex and a darker side to that is sleeping with other women.

We are very open about our fantasies and what turns us on. We both love threesomes etc and hes more than happy for me to explore my bi side.

Basically I have told him that I am okay with him sleeping with other women. There are clear boundries I have given him including, condoms, purely NSA and a one meet rule.

But am I totally mental?? I trust him and am trying to be open but is this too far?

Does anyone else have experience in this from either side and can offer advice?

Thanks in advance

Cat xxx"
hey if you " love " him that's the risk in any of this sex is intimate but if he sticks to the one meet rule then it surely can't develop into anything more than sex .........can it !

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By *inkySlinkyCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

With my partner's agreement I have sometimes met men alone. My rule is that all messaging is through our couples profile so my partner can see everything. Sally

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Your Vero is a solo meet you had yourself?

Surely it's the exact same except its him doing it this tine"

I think it is the same thing hence why I have not stopped him from doing it.

Difference is he gets a kick out of knowing i'm with other women. I dont get a kick out of him bring with other women.

We have the same rules in place for each other though

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So I'm reaching out to all you wonderful like minded lot as I need well rounded and non-judgemental advice!!

Me and my partner have been together 5yrs. We are engaged, completely in love and very happy.

He has a proper soft spot for risky sex and a darker side to that is sleeping with other women.

We are very open about our fantasies and what turns us on. We both love threesomes etc and hes more than happy for me to explore my bi side.

Basically I have told him that I am okay with him sleeping with other women. There are clear boundries I have given him including, condoms, purely NSA and a one meet rule.

But am I totally mental?? I trust him and am trying to be open but is this too far?

Does anyone else have experience in this from either side and can offer advice?

Thanks in advance

Cat xxxhey if you " love " him that's the risk in any of this sex is intimate but if he sticks to the one meet rule then it surely can't develop into anything more than sex .........can it !

We will see i guess haha!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is what too far? You allowing him to meet women, or your rules?

No, it's what swingers do all the time. You already have 3somes. It will be the same but you won't be there. "

My thinking too. It's good to talk it out though and you FAB lot are great with your honest and upfront opinion/advice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your Vero is a solo meet you had yourself?

Surely it's the exact same except its him doing it this tine

I think it is the same thing hence why I have not stopped him from doing it.

Difference is he gets a kick out of knowing i'm with other women. I dont get a kick out of him bring with other women.

We have the same rules in place for each other though

Ahhh I see, sorry.

So if you don't get a kick out if the idea is it just something your indifferent to or something that you dont like?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So I'm reaching out to all you wonderful like minded lot as I need well rounded and non-judgemental advice!!

Me and my partner have been together 5yrs. We are engaged, completely in love and very happy.

He has a proper soft spot for risky sex and a darker side to that is sleeping with other women.

We are very open about our fantasies and what turns us on. We both love threesomes etc and hes more than happy for me to explore my bi side.

Basically I have told him that I am okay with him sleeping with other women. There are clear boundries I have given him including, condoms, purely NSA and a one meet rule.

But am I totally mental?? I trust him and am trying to be open but is this too far?

Does anyone else have experience in this from either side and can offer advice?

Thanks in advance

Cat xxxhey if you " love " him that's the risk in any of this sex is intimate but if he sticks to the one meet rule then it surely can't develop into anything more than sex .........can it !

We will see i guess haha!!"

Yeah cause making something forbidden fruit absolutley does not make it more desirable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/07/17 09:56:32]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/07/17 09:58:13]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your Vero is a solo meet you had yourself?

Surely it's the exact same except its him doing it this tine

I think it is the same thing hence why I have not stopped him from doing it.

Difference is he gets a kick out of knowing i'm with other women. I dont get a kick out of him bring with other women.

We have the same rules in place for each other though

It sounds like your two have different comfort levels, which is normal. Therefore it may be appropriate to consider different rules for each other. That may sound unfair, but really a fair rule is a rule that everybody is confortable with. My husband and I have different rules for each other. We designed our rules based on our own personal comfort levels and what turns us on, and the rules get adjusted accordingly. The rules for each other are not the same because our comfort levels and interests are not the same.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/07/17 12:14:00]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your Vero is a solo meet you had yourself?

Surely it's the exact same except its him doing it this tine

I think it is the same thing hence why I have not stopped him from doing it.

Difference is he gets a kick out of knowing i'm with other women. I dont get a kick out of him bring with other women.

We have the same rules in place for each other though

Mrs"
oh ok flexible rules like that

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By *otwife CoolhubCouple
over a year ago

Bathgate

If it turns you on then go for it. You have parameters that you feel comfortable with so that's good. He has an obligation to reassure you that his meet was no more than intended.

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

Don't think it's even a matter of whether it turns you on - this is a matter of what turns him on. If it turns him on, and he wants to do it, the only question is if you are uncomfortable with him doing it, and his reasons for doing so.

If you're not uncomfortable about that, let him go ahead - you may find then you develop your own enjoyment for it. But if you have any trepidations about him playing with another woman beyond being understandably nervous about your feelings, it's got to be a no.

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By *otgirl32Woman
over a year ago

Ashton Under Lyne

To the OP, I don't have a husband (yet) but I'd be perfectly happy with him sleeping with other women just as he would have to be happy with me having sex with other men. If we played toegether fine but it would not bother me one bit if he was having sex with another woman because I'd know he'd come back to my bed. Same thing for him, I'd always come back to his arms. Obviously if there was someone I hated (or he hated) that person would not become a sex partner, but that's mutual respect. He's lucky to have you and you are lucky ot have him.

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By *otgirl32Woman
over a year ago

Ashton Under Lyne

It would turn me on by the way

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

Totally normal swinger behaviour??? Sounds a bit of a tame question to me.

Have fun with it xx

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

I think you should offer to call the lady to re-assure her, some might assume the guy could have written it and be cheating or not be a real couple.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am the same let my man meet other's. It's great when he comes home and tells me as he has me. At one point had a regular fb. Totally love it and turns me on.

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

"I think you should offer to call the lady to re-assure her, some might assume the guy could have written it and be cheating or not be a real couple."

Agree

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for all your advice guys. Have really helped ??

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By *imjohnCouple
over a year ago

Clacton on sea, Essex

You have to have a rock solid relationship before dipping your toes into swinging otherwise it's all down hill.

We play together & separately & even though John plays with far more single ladies than I do single guys we treat it as fun have each other's trust at all times.

If you have doubts don't swing as we've seen a lot of relationships end in tears through swinging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I meet a guy that is married .. they used to play together but now she is less interested ... they decided he could meet alone and she aproved of me .

At first I checked with herw.2as she sure etc ..

I go there when she's at work .. it has excited their relationship again..apparently the run up to our meets she is excited and when she returns she is turned on ..

They have an amazing relationship and huge trust

For me i am grateful she entrusts me with her husband .. I totally respect any boundaries . Actually I can't think of any lol ... but I send a polite message to her now and then .. always make sure the bed is protected (wouldn't be fair her coming home to laundry) .. and I generally treat it as an honour I have been invited in.

He is sone body else's man ... i just borrow him.. whilst he's attractive I don't have overwhelming lost for him ..it is just sex.

It works brilliant for them ..... maybe you could help with the choice of women ? I hope it works as well for you xx

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