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"A quick question, which I trust will not result in a shyt storm: Is it acceptable form for someone to "project" themselves as being a woman / female on this site, and you make contact, chit chat, discuss a meetup, and then discover (to your horror) that the person is in fact transgender / post operative whatever whatever.. Get the picture? What would you do in reponse? Sx" I think even if they were post op I would want to know the history | |||
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"It's difficult isn't it? I started writing this I'm happy for a lady to identify as such, God knows the struggles they will have endured...... Then thought, I'd really want to be in possession of the facts before I decided if I was going to be intimate. So in conclusion, I'm a hypocrite. I think they should be able to live their life without constantly having to retell their past; unless it involves me. " This made me lol...! | |||
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"A quick question, which I trust will not result in a shyt storm: Is it acceptable form for someone to "project" themselves as being a woman / female on this site, and you make contact, chit chat, discuss a meetup, and then discover (to your horror) that the person is in fact transgender / post operative whatever whatever.. Get the picture? What would you do in reponse? Sx" If you were really that horrified just don't meet them. Deal breakers of all kinds show up as you chat more to your potential meets. It sounds like you feel she misrepresented herself but really she hasn't. We can only reveal our private details a bit at a time and it really is up to each individual what they choose to lead with and what they prefer to reveal to only a few. | |||
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"Is it just me who hates the terms 'post-op' or 'post-op transgender' etc Surely if the operation has been completed and the necessary paperwork has been changed then that person is simple a man or a woman. " No. Gender identity does not equate to physical gender. I can have female genitalia and a feminine appearance but identify as a man if I wish to. The fact that I don't is irrelevant. I think it's not a simple matter at all, if they don't feel like they need to tell you, then they shouldn't have to. I don't feel that there are any health risks that come from not knowing their prior identity history. Does it make a difference, knowing that they used to identify as a man and had male genitalia? | |||
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"A quick question, which I trust will not result in a shyt storm: Is it acceptable form for someone to "project" themselves as being a woman / female on this site, and you make contact, chit chat, discuss a meetup, and then discover (to your horror) that the person is in fact transgender / post operative whatever whatever.. Get the picture? What would you do in reponse? Sx If you were really that horrified just don't meet them. Deal breakers of all kinds show up as you chat more to your potential meets. It sounds like you feel she misrepresented herself but really she hasn't. We can only reveal our private details a bit at a time and it really is up to each individual what they choose to lead with and what they prefer to reveal to only a few." | |||
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"A quick question, which I trust will not result in a shyt storm: Is it acceptable form for someone to "project" themselves as being a woman / female on this site, and you make contact, chit chat, discuss a meetup, and then discover (to your horror) that the person is in fact transgender / post operative whatever whatever.. Get the picture? What would you do in reponse? Sx" Think honesty right from the start is necessary on both party's. She should have told you then you could decide if you wanted to carry on. | |||
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"It's a PC world gone mad, a profile should clarify if someone is transgender surely? It's disrespectful to be deceiving x" I don't personally think that there has been any deception. The person the OP is discussing is a woman. | |||
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"I bought a Samsung phone once off eBay. The day the package arrived, I opened it in to discover it wasn't a Samsung phone, it looked like one, it operated like one, but it was slightly different. I contacted the seller who told me it was a different phone, but completely rebuilt taking the old parts out and putting new Samsung parts in, as well as other makers parts, it was essentially a Samsung phone, just not built by Samsung and not entirely Samsung parts. I wanted a Samsung though, I was comfortable with Samsung, not one that had been built by someone else using different parts. But that's what it had been sold as, that's what the seller identified it as. I returned it and got a refund and went on to get myself an authentic Samsung phone. If the seller had been honest and transparent from the start, I could have made an informed choice about buying that phone in the first place, it's fine he identified it as a Samsung phone, but I felt he should have realised not everyone else would do so, and should have been a little more clear from the start. " What version of Android was it running? As that makes all the difference | |||
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"A quick question, which I trust will not result in a shyt storm: Is it acceptable form for someone to "project" themselves as being a woman / female on this site, and you make contact, chit chat, discuss a meetup, and then discover (to your horror) that the person is in fact transgender / post operative whatever whatever.. Get the picture? What would you do in reponse? Sx" Why 'to your horror'? With all due respect, that sounds pretty offensive to any woman that goes through what must be a very difficult journey. If you're not comfortable with her past that's up to you, but I'd say it's her choice who she tells and when. | |||
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"It's difficult isn't it? I started writing this I'm happy for a lady to identify as such, God knows the struggles they will have endured...... Then thought, I'd really want to be in possession of the facts before I decided if I was going to be intimate. So in conclusion, I'm a hypocrite. I think they should be able to live their life without constantly having to retell their past; unless it involves me. " I would say this is spot on. I don't have a problem with how people identify themselves. I think the problem actually comes when we on the other side of the meet disagree with that identity. I soppose it come down to if you think there is a difference between transgender male or a women. Leaving the genitalia out of it for now, I don't see how that's got a lot to do with it. | |||
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"It's difficult isn't it? I started writing this I'm happy for a lady to identify as such, God knows the struggles they will have endured...... Then thought, I'd really want to be in possession of the facts before I decided if I was going to be intimate. So in conclusion, I'm a hypocrite. I think they should be able to live their life without constantly having to retell their past; unless it involves me. " I wouldn't say you're a hypocrite, you made a very well balanced post. I would imagine it's extremely difficult for the woman too. They would also have to be comfortable with you prior to intimacy, it's a two way street. | |||
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"It's not straight forward one way or the other in my opinion. If You're meeting someone with a relationship in mind I think the lady or man who has had reassignment surgery morally should explain this fairly early on. If you're meeting someone just for sex, surely it's about if you fancy them? If the only way you know she or he wasn't born with the body that attracts you is by them telling you, why does that horrify you? " From the guys perspective I'd say this I am straight I have to be sexually attracted to a women's mind, personality and body, some of this, and I don't mean to sound deragatory, is missing from a from a TS | |||
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"It's not straight forward one way or the other in my opinion. If You're meeting someone with a relationship in mind I think the lady or man who has had reassignment surgery morally should explain this fairly early on. If you're meeting someone just for sex, surely it's about if you fancy them? If the only way you know she or he wasn't born with the body that attracts you is by them telling you, why does that horrify you? From the guys perspective I'd say this I am straight I have to be sexually attracted to a women's mind, personality and body, some of this, and I don't mean to sound deragatory, is missing from a from a TS" Some TS' minds and personalities are way more female than many women. If their bodies have been aligned with their personality and mind and you can't tell I fail to see your point. Many women, my wife for instance. Are very much 'one of the lads'. She shares many traits with men, personality and mind wise. She look female, however. | |||
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"I bought a Samsung phone once off eBay. The day the package arrived, I opened it in to discover it wasn't a Samsung phone, it looked like one, it operated like one, but it was slightly different. I contacted the seller who told me it was a different phone, but completely rebuilt taking the old parts out and putting new Samsung parts in, as well as other makers parts, it was essentially a Samsung phone, just not built by Samsung and not entirely Samsung parts. I wanted a Samsung though, I was comfortable with Samsung, not one that had been built by someone else using different parts. But that's what it had been sold as, that's what the seller identified it as. I returned it and got a refund and went on to get myself an authentic Samsung phone. If the seller had been honest and transparent from the start, I could have made an informed choice about buying that phone in the first place, it's fine he identified it as a Samsung phone, but I felt he should have realised not everyone else would do so, and should have been a little more clear from the start. " You got a refund alright. OP didn't even "buy the phone", he was told it wasn't an original in due time, well before a meet was arranged. If she's got female plumbing now and recognised by law as female and the OP can't even tell from her pics she's trans, we're splitting a very fine hair here. So OP chatted to someone and got hopes up but after a few messages they were unsuitable, boohoo. How much of one's past should one reveal for the purposes of swinging? Racial makeup? Past marriages? Existing dependents? Health and medical issues, including mental health issues and successfully treated STIs? Sex practices you're into but won't do with a new meet? Political beliefs? Living arrangements? Wealth/debt, class, employment status? These things are relevant and could put people off, but also irrelevant and too private to plaster ALL of them on a profile. Personally if someone I was attracted to revealed they had transitioned I would be intrigued not horrified, so horses for courses. | |||
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"How much of one's past should one reveal for the purposes of swinging? Racial makeup? Past marriages? Existing dependents? Health and medical issues, including mental health issues and successfully treated STIs? Sex practices you're into but won't do with a new meet? Political beliefs? Living arrangements? Wealth/debt, class, employment status? These things are relevant and could put people off, but also irrelevant and too private to plaster ALL of them on a profile. Personally if someone I was attracted to revealed they had transitioned I would be intrigued not horrified, so horses for courses." | |||
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"I bought a Samsung phone once off eBay. The day the package arrived, I opened it in to discover it wasn't a Samsung phone, it looked like one, it operated like one, but it was slightly different. I contacted the seller who told me it was a different phone, but completely rebuilt taking the old parts out and putting new Samsung parts in, as well as other makers parts, it was essentially a Samsung phone, just not built by Samsung and not entirely Samsung parts. I wanted a Samsung though, I was comfortable with Samsung, not one that had been built by someone else using different parts. But that's what it had been sold as, that's what the seller identified it as. I returned it and got a refund and went on to get myself an authentic Samsung phone. If the seller had been honest and transparent from the start, I could have made an informed choice about buying that phone in the first place, it's fine he identified it as a Samsung phone, but I felt he should have realised not everyone else would do so, and should have been a little more clear from the start. " I dont think anyone could put it better than this. | |||
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"What would you do in reponse? Sx" I admit to what some may view as 'double standards' here (which I think is what you are alluding to). I have no issue with anyone's sexuality and campaign for equality. I have transgender friends and have known one of them pre- and post-op, since school. However, I only find women sexually attractive if they were born female (i.e. born with female genitalia). To me, this is no different from me having male friends not fancying them either. It isn't just about the looks (I don't fancy many of my female friends either) and I feel there has been a lack of honesty up-front in the scenario you describe. I would politely end the conversation and just admit that you are not comfortable pursuing a sexual relationship with someone that is transgender. It is a choice, not necessarily a prejudice. | |||
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"Is it acceptable form for someone to "project" themselves as being a woman / female on this site, and you make contact, chit chat, discuss a meetup, and then discover (to your horror) that the person is in fact transgender / post operative whatever whatever.. Get the picture? What would you do in reponse? Sx" I'd be surprised and I'd have liked too have known beforehand but if they were post OP and I was attracted to them already I'd like to think that discovery wouldn't change much. It's hard to know unless it happened to me I guess. | |||
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"However, I only find women sexually attractive if they were born female (i.e. born with female genitalia)." I doubt that. I think it's highly possible that a trans woman could be stunning and also have more of a male promiscuous kinky mindset. Put together, I think men all over the world would be attracted to them. I think the truth of the issue is uncomfortable. It goes to the root of what it means to be straight. Being straight is utterly uncompromising, even to the point of being politically incorrect. There's just a deep psychological and physical need to be with a woman (or man if you're a straight woman) and anything else won't do. | |||
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